aeolianTectrix
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Summary
Harry Hart should not be allowed within fifty feet of tiny runty puppies because he loses all reason. When he finds an abandoned teacup schnauzer searching for food in the bins, he immediately decides he’s going to be its mother and brings it home to love forever. Obviously he doesn’t stop to consider the fact that he’s out of the country more often than not so all the actual looking after is going to fall on Merlin, who has a deep disdain for people who make their dogs wear clothes and thinks anything smaller than a wolfhound is basically a pointless rodent.
Meanwhile, Eggsy is floundering on probation after grassing up Dean and his thugs in return for escaping jail time for his part in all their previous criminal activity. Life is feeling pretty bleak and directionless - until he meets a ridiculous eccentric couple and their amazing little dog, and is hired as its nanny.
Contains deeply inappropriate use of the phrases "good boy", "bad boy", and "where’s your squeaky balls?"
- Words:
- 32,269
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 195
Bookmarked by aeolianTectrix
27 Jun 2026
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“This is actually an excellent opportunity for you. Kingsman is one of the most elite cooking schools in London, and they so rarely offer evening courses like this. The fact that they were willing to work with us and allow you to attend is a miracle.”
“It’s basic though, yeah?” Basic was what he needed. He just needed to learn enough so that Deanna wasn’t eating frozen pizza or chicken nuggets every meal, and his mum wasn’t exactly in the mood to cook most days. Cooking had always been his dad’s thing, he’d been about to trade up from a sous chef to a full chef when his accident had happened.
Sure, Eggsy could eat junk all day long if he had to, but his half-sister deserved better. He could give her better.
Series
- Part 1 of La Cuisine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,952
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Comments:
- 2,055
- Kudos:
- 4,569
- Bookmarks:
- 1,031
- Hits:
- 81,446
Bookmarked by aeolianTectrix
27 Jun 2026
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honey, tell me: are you good at staying still? by BeeLove
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
12 May 2026
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(wake up your saints, ryland, i need them)
In which Ryland Grace makes it his mission to rescue the broken, bloody man he and Rocky found drifting among the stars. (He just doesn't realize that this broken, bloody man is going to rescue him too.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,982
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 798
- Kudos:
- 6,597
- Bookmarks:
- 1,400
- Hits:
- 59,416
Bookmarked by aeolianTectrix
26 Jun 2026
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when you're desperate to avoid your ex, you grab the closest person to be your fake boyfriend. who turns out to be clark kent. what was supposed to be a one time thing turns into something much bigger...
Bookmarked by aeolianTectrix
23 Jun 2026
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when you realise your crush on your roommate is getting out of hand, you decide it’s time to start dating again. but nobody on any dating app comes close to being as perfect for you as clark kent is.
Bookmarked by aeolianTectrix
23 Jun 2026