because_nope



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Just leave me,” Cole says quietly.

    “I will do no such thing.” Hanzo lifts Cole’s arm, and Cole pulls back. He tries to, at least, but Hanzo holds him tighter.

    “Go! We can’t both go through and I’m a dead man already.”

    “Far from it,” Hanzo growls, draping Cole's arm over his shoulders. Cole doesn't resist this time. “We will go through together, consequences be damned.”

    “When we end up as one freakish person with two heads, I’m sure you’ll change your tune,” Cole mutters. He coughs, and for a moment looks like he is about to pass out.

    Hanzo looks at the teleporter, and the edges are starting to fade away. He wraps his hand around Cole's wrist tightly, holding his breath as they step through.

    Then, everything goes black.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,872
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    759
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    18 Oct 2020

  2. Public Bookmark 31

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    A pair of cursed outcasts come across a mostly-dead elf in the woods and are directed to take him home with them.

    It only gets weirder from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,482
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    34
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    132
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    31
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    2,051

    17 Oct 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Hank has stopped thinking about his place in the world for a long time. Old, washed-up cops don’t live exciting lives. He just does what he always does: cracks cases, drinks whiskey, and goes home to Sumo.

    But then the android sent by CyberLife shows up – disarmingly curious, intentionally uprooting all the familiar aspects of Hank’s life, and he jumps headfirst into an android revolution. Barrels into cases like an unstoppable storm.

    Halfway through, Hank realizes he’s no longer at the sidelines of his life.

    And that Connor makes it better. All of it.

    [Or alternatively: an episodic glimpse into the life of Hank Anderson and his partner Connor. Takes place after the revolution, happy ending included.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    164,520
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    1,917
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    4,075
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    913
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    84,007

    30 Jun 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’d like you to go to the United States and meet with the president. You’re the modern rebel prince.”

    “Fine,” Connor says. “I’ll do it.”

    “Take some charm to the White House.” Niles’ smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Show President Anderson that we aren’t as bad as he thinks us to be.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105,194
    Chapters:
    13/13
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    1
    Comments:
    613
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    288
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    05 Jun 2020

  5. Public Bookmark 80

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    “Have you seen the people at this place?” Gavin asks, sneering. “I saw the dance instructors, and let me tell you,” he pauses to whistle obnoxiously. “They fine.”

    Hank’s mouth turns dry when he sees the guy on the stage. Connor's voice is a little quirky and when he introduces himself he makes a small joke to which nobody laughs and a blush crawls up his entire face.

    Hank might end up taking the dance option after all.

     
    ---
    In which the DPD go to a vacation resort to work on their team building and Connor is the hot dance instructor Hank can't keep his eyes off.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,268
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    359
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    6,846

    01 Jun 2020