bjilson



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    It was a Friday when the video dropped.

    “What is happening?” He asked St Simon, who was holding his phone tight to his chest, his expression odd. “Someone has died?” 

    Across the room he could see Marlow moving slowly upright from where he had been doing floor stretches, his phone in his hand as well, his face pinched. 

    “It’s Hollander,” St Simon said. 

    The bottom of Ilya’s stomach fell out, closely followed by the rest of Ilya’s organs. His chest hurt so acutely that he thought he must be having a heart attack. 

    “Not dead,” St Simon added quickly, reaching out to grab Ilya’s shoulder when Ilya’s knees actually buckled. “Jesus, sorry. I should have - no it’s just -” 

    “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” Ilya snapped, “and everyone else shut up.” 

    Marlow reached him now, held his phone out to Ilya, open already to an article with a headline huge enough Ilya could easily make out the HOLLANDER blaring out of it even before his eyes focused and he took the phone from Marlow. 

    A video is posted online, for Shane it feels like a death sentence. For some parts of him, it is.

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    17 Jul 2026

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    When practice is done and he’s showered, he checks his phone.
    The 16 messages from Lily are expected with Ilya traveling to Detroit this week. Ilya has a strong but unsupported hatred of Detroit. The ‘vibes are bad Shane’ was the last claim Shane had heard and he is prepared to read even less substantiated claims.
    He’s unprepared to see a group chat he’s been added to.
    Shane is only a part of a few group chats. One that Rose put together with a bunch of her not out queer friends that he keeps muted but likes to scroll through every once in a while (they have good memes). The group chat with the whole team he only keeps up with for Captain Reasons but keeps it muted too. The one with both of his parents that his mom uses more often than her single thread with him cause ‘Your Dad deserves to be in the loop too’. And finally the one with Jackie and Hayden which is mostly him and Jackie bullying Hayden and Hayden being increasingly frustrated with their antics.
    This is not even close to those
    OTTAWA WAGS

    or Shane gets added to the Ottawa WAGs group chat and maybe learns something about himself along the way
    Previously: Shane Hollander and the Magic of Friendship

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    16 Jul 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    15 Jul 2026

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    It took a moment for Ilya’s brain to catch up.

    “My father knows about me and Shane?”

    “The whole world knows about you and Shane! Did you not hear me?”

    Or: Shane's phone is stolen in Sochi. They're outed and and have to go on the run together to get out of Russia before being caught by the Russian authorities.

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    15 Jul 2026

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    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

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    14 Jul 2026