castironically



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  1. Public Bookmark 11

    Words:
    24,555
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    11

    20 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 31

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    Summary

    Stunning views. Luxurious accommodations. No neighbors to complain about the noise.

    Two years into their life as monster hunters, Wyll and Astarion take a much-needed vacation in the recently-vacated mountaintop lair of the lich they just (re-)killed. They also steal all of his stuff and do an elaborate sexual roleplay in his (un-)living room to work out some of their Issues.

    It’s kind of sort of like therapy, except with the other kind of CBT.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,311
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1,797

    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 44

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    Kiss is a stupid word. It doesn’t have the brutal efficiency of fuck. If you say that you have recently fucked, everyone knows what that means. Kiss, on the other hand, implies some… saccharine, disgusting little fantasy. It’s a word that conjures pictures of twee pecks on the cheek, platonic gestures of affection. It is a word that belongs to the same euphemistic category as sleeping together, as (ugh) making love. It is a word that lacks hunger, physicality, consummation.

    It is not an inaccurate description of what he and Wyll do in Wyll’s tent.

    Astarion discovers that some things are easier said (or involuntarily shared via an illithid parasite's psychic connection) than done.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,168
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    113
    Kudos:
    418
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    3,644

    17 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 98

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    Summary

    Hallucinations come a little more naturally to elves than other races. The vapor-thin veil between the reverie of trance and stark reality takes so little effort to pierce. An elf dreams through their memories without ever truly sleeping; thus, dreams do not always wait for consciousness to exit before stepping onto the stage. At least, that's how Astarion sees it. He's never had his assumptions checked by a second opinion.

    Astarion, at Tav's request, eats something that doesn't agree with him. This has unexpected consequences.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    474
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    2,772

    17 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 3

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    Summary

    After Astarion's fumble with Eilidh at the tiefling party he's still in search of a better way to celebrate, and the wizard who might provide it.
    Casual, outdoor fun with Rolan, with only a mild dose of angst/feels in the middle of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,643
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    443

    17 Jun 2026