cosmicregrets
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I'll Feel You Forget Me Like I Used to Feel You Breathe by turningthepages
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
22 Mar 2023
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Summary
A car accident leaves Eddie without ten years of memories. He forgets meeting Buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. As Eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, Buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him.
Oh, and they have really cute kids.
or
Just another Hollywood Amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long.
Series
- Part 1 of I'll Feel You Forget Me
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Summary
Karen sits on the coffee table across from him, leaning in and placing a steady weight on his knees.
Above them, he hears, “Did something happen to Buck? Should we call Maddie?”
Eddie chokes, sitting upright, and looking over his shoulder at Hen, “No,” he says, voice gravelly. “Do not call Maddie.”
“Okay,” Hen says, frowning. “Why?”
He groans, turning back around and burying his face in his hands again. “Because Bucks probably already told her and there’s no doubt I’ve jumped to the top of her to be killed list.” He looks up. “Don’t tell me she doesn’t have a to be killed list, because I guarantee she does now.”
“Okay. What’s going on?”
He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “I kissed Buck.”
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Summary
Eddie accidentally overhears Buck jerking off in the firehouse showers. Neither can act even slightly normal about it.
(Set before 8x06)
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Summary
“Are you homophobic?”
“What?”
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Eddie answered, automatically, even though his mind had volunteered several other pressing questions, like what are you talking about and what is happening and did I recently sustain brain damage.
“Thanks,” said Buckley, and then he pushed Eddie back against the side of the firetruck and kissed him.
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It's the 63rd Annual Los Angeles Fire Muster & Firefighter’s Family Day, and inter-station relations are about to get real friendly between fire houses 6 and 118.
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Summary
Eddie doesn’t remember when it started. Maybe it was always there—quiet and steady, tucked behind shared laughter and late-night calls, in the space between a look and the moment it’s returned. He never meant to hold onto it so tightly. He just never found a way to let it go.
So he stayed silent. Let Buck live his life. Let himself ache through it.
And then one day, Buck starts smiling for someone else. He starts leaving shift lighter than he came in, eyes soft in a way Eddie hasn’t seen in months. Eddie doesn’t say anything. Just watches. Just breaks, a little more each day.
Until the night the words fall out, uninvited and low.
''He doesn’t look at you like you’re the air in his lungs.''Buck hears it. Doesn’t turn around. And Eddie finally understands what it means to love someone so deeply it swallows you whole—and still choose silence.
But silence doesn’t always mean nothing.
And sometimes, love finds its way back anyway.