dehaans

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’d give her two weeks. Maybe a month. An uncomfortable month. Or, I take her back to Philadelphia, give her a good meal, a snuggle, and an easy death, and she becomes a part of research that will better humanity. Not bad for a calf born in bumfuck, Pennsylvania.”

    “What do they call you at your lab,” Rio asked. She was standing with her hands on her hips and a wrinkle in her brow, “‘The Closer’, something like that?”

    “I want that calf,” Agatha said, her voice measured, even, “And the only thing standing between her and me right now is you."

    or,

    After a calf with a rare congenital abnormality is born on an area farm, Agatha, a researcher, goes to collect. Unfortunately, the calf's owner is not exactly keen on giving her up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,166
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    12 Apr 2025

  2. Public Bookmark 99

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    local witch just wants to live the quiet suburban life with her wife and kid and bun but random witches just keep coming to throw down 👊💥

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    184
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    999
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    12 Apr 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    They’re staring at each other over the now evenly stacked forms at the table. Agatha’s mask has fully slipped and Rio is fascinated by what’s underneath it, an unruly sort of anger, a sharp passion. Agatha looks like she wants to tear Rio from limb to limb. And Rio, god help her, would probably let her.

    “Moving on to property taxes…”

    “Jesus fucking Christ,” Agatha lets out. “Don’t you have a life?”

    Rio is the best IRS agent in her field. Agatha refuses to pay her taxes. A love story for the ages.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,179
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    437
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    915
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    30 Nov 2024

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Rio’s first ride with Agatha and a random blonde was easily one of the wildest she’d had in four months of driving for Uber. The next few nights, Agatha hops in again, this time with a redhead, and Rio just figures it’s just a funny coincidence. But when Agatha shows up a third time with a brunette, Rio starts to suspect she’s accidentally starring in a lesbian remake of Serendipity. The only problem though? She’s pretty sure she’s not the one who’s supposed to fall in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,705
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    201
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    223
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    19,494

    30 Mar 2025

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    crying i love my lesbians so much also this might be an all-time favorite fic

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Pregnant.

    Rio stares at the readout panel on the blue and white stick clutched in her trembling hands for a long, terror-soaked, nausea-filled moment.

    This cannot be happening.

    Rio puts the test back down on the bathroom counter. Closes her eyes. Counts to ten. And gives the damn thing a mean little shake after blindly fumbling for it before daring to open her eyes to check result again, just in case.

    Nope. Still pregnant. Oh, fuck.

    “No, Lilia,” she mouths to herself, mockingly echoing her own earlier words. They’d been having breakfast earlier when Rio had found herself chucking up Cheerios in the sink for the fourth day running. That’s when the woman she all but considered to be her mother had decided it was time to gently offer her thoughts on what might be causing Rio’s recent bout of sudden and inexplicable chocolate Cheerio-intolerance. “Of course I’m not pregnant. The last person I slept with was my very female boss but oh, wait!” The script flips as Rio’s voice veers towards mild hysteria. “I forgot that we’re witches who pulled that dumbass stunt while drunk on Beltane!

    //

    A magical accident happens. Chaos follows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,164
    Chapters:
    3/?
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    25 Mar 2025