eimajunknown



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Hello,” Ilya repeats, still kind of stuck on those freckles.

    “Hi?” the man says.

    “Hi,” Ilya says—again.

    Oh god, he's said hello three times now. He should literally say anything else. His name, probably. His phone number, preferably.

    “Hi,” Ilya says again, because he can’t help it. “I am—”

    “Are you Nick?” the man asks, and it comes out as a breathless sound.

    OR: Shane gets stood up on a blind date, and Ilya comes to the rescue, and proceeds to make a series of questionable decisions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,878
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    2,748
    Kudos:
    8,504
    Bookmarks:
    2,636
    Hits:
    156,196

    03 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,282
    Chapters:
    7/12
    Comments:
    6,245
    Kudos:
    28,087
    Bookmarks:
    5,680
    Hits:
    352,981

    01 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    shane and ilya meet on facebook marketplace. things ensue.

    Words:
    16,848
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    507

    31 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,960
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2,024
    Kudos:
    11,787
    Bookmarks:
    3,888
    Hits:
    178,648

    30 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "He said it was just a stronger edible," Wyatt says. "Apparently it was supposed to be super natural, and relaxing and rejuvenating, not the weak Canadian shit, and—"

    "You say a bad word, Hazy," Ilya interrupts, pointing a tiny finger at him.

    "Right." Wyatt winces. "Sorry, kid."

    Rejuvenating. Shane turns the word over in his mind a few times, while readjusting Ilya’s little body in his arms.

    Jesus fucking Christ.

    -

    or, with the help of some mysterious russian candy and a very loving husband, ilya rozanov heals his inner child.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,633
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    547
    Kudos:
    5,438
    Bookmarks:
    1,236
    Hits:
    38,504

    29 May 2026