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    “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” Quickly, Ilya adds, “Don’t say that you want to know if you win the Cup.”

    “Why not? What if that’s my answer?”

    “Is so boring, Hollander. Of course you want to know this. But Ilya Rozanov and Boston Raiders exist in this world, so crystal ball says, so sad, but no.”

    “Fuck off. What are these questions even for, anyway? Are you interviewing me for something? Wouldn’t you have to, like, tell me if you were?”

    Ilya is quick to assure Hollander before his paranoia takes him right out of this phone call. “It is not for interview, Hollander. I am just wondering. Answer the question.”

    “And I can’t say that I would want to know whether I win the Cup.”

    “Yes, other than that.”

    “I guess… I guess I would want to know, like, am I happy?”

     


     
    Ilya reads an article about 36 questions that are supposed to make people fall in love. He decides to ask them to Shane.

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    25 Jul 2026

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    “What?” Shane’s lip twitched slightly, the most antagonistic expression he could ever muster. “You thought I was just gonna start handing over wads of cash?”
    "Maybe leave it on the nightstand," Ilya said, shrugging. Shane’s jaw clenched and Ilya held his hands at his sides instead of touching the tight muscle.
    “We’re going to do this the right way,” Shane said. Ilya sucked back laughter. There was no right way to do something this crazy, no standard procedure to follow, but he was curious what Shane would come up with.

    The reigning NHL MVP can't afford the rehab he needs after getting in an off-season car wreck. Shane adds Ilya Rozanov to his investment portfolio.

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    22 Jul 2026

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    "Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?"

    "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.

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    21 Jul 2026

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    Never mind the next two weeks, the next eight hours stretched endlessly in front of him. He had no idea how to occupy his time. His house was basically empty, which sounded sad but was really a good thing, evidence he’d built himself the life he wanted – where he always had something to do, outside and with other people. Ilya had been restless for as long as he could remember, had never been able to sit still. He’d gotten in trouble for it as a kid at the dinner table and he got in trouble for it as a full grown man on the team bus. He’d gotten in trouble for it when the doctors had been trying to take the x-ray, his leg jumping without his permission.

    Ilya gets injured, stops leaving the house, loses his mind, learns to read tarot, and sends Shane Hollander a lot of photos.

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    16 Jul 2026

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    Shane slips through his front door and back into his quiet apartment. He leans back against the door and takes a steadying breath in his dark apartment. After a moment, the music next door turns off and Shane is left with only the pounding of his own heartbeat in his ears. 

    He closes his eyes and tries not to think about Rozanov or the way Shane’s entire body lit up like a live wire when he said in that low, accented voice, only if you ask nicely. He’s hard in his penguin print pajama pants and now he’s going to have to jerk off and shower before he can sleep. While trying not to think about his asshole neighbor.

    This is bad. This is very bad. 

    In which Shane Hollander's new next door neighbor is a menace who always seems to answer the door shirtless. 

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    16 Jul 2026