florathecake
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Sevenfold by lavenderlover
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Jackson Movies)
30 Dec 2025
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Summary
"I say this not to shame you, nor frighten you," Aragorn implored, "I come to you for aid, might this be an affliction born of my own treacherous heart's desire."
"But that tale about the honey-stars..." you breathed, "it is merely myth, my Lord!"
"It appears not. Please understand, I would never sully you with such forwardness unless I dared hope you might assist me with this... predicament." Aragorn's predicament strained against his breeches, intimately outlined.
You swallowed thickly. "And... if I would? Assist you?"
"Then I pray you act swiftly. For if mercy delays... I fear I will shame myself. Without even touching you."
An innocent gift gone awry coils a lusty enchantment around the unsuspecting heart of Minas Tirith, sending half the fevered kingdom careening into an erotic, flesh-bound frenzy... for you. Singularly.
To break the perilous, time-sensitive spell—and relieve the libidinous cravings it induces—you must embark on a pleasure-soaked odyssey across Middle-earth, aided by King Aragorn and his chosen companions. Each lurid decision draws you closer to deliverance...
So long as desire doesn't devour you first.
Bookmarked by florathecake
22 Jun 2026
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Jamaica. What I would give that we could stay in that little bubble of safety we had created. Cooking, singing, dancing, we had it all. The trauma was there, of course. We could hear each other screaming in the middle of the night. No one had time to start processing anything. But in that little bubble, we were safe. Eventually, though, every bubble has to pop.
Series
- Part 2 of The 7
Bookmarked by florathecake
06 Jun 2026
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Summary
hired to look into the mysterious deaths, disappearances, and disturbances in the small town of Farrow's End, you soon meet a certain gang of oddballs who help you connect the dots and unearth the truth of some very strange happenings. and no, you are definitely not getting attached to them. and they are certainly not-so-subtly trying to adopt you into their little family.
Bookmarked by florathecake
03 Dec 2025
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Dry Clean Only by WaterBordeauxed
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
04 Apr 2026
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Summary
"His head was on her arse. Gandalf was dead. Satan was real. Aragorn was confessing his feelings and she could feel wind on her bum cheeks. Nothing about this was okay. Could he have not given her at least three business days to prepare for this sort of thing? She wanted a nap and a bath and a big bloody glass of wine. Maybe even a wee lobotomy to scrape out the horrors she’d witnessed today."
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Beautiful, clever, rich — Maeve Dashwood is perfectly content with her privileged life in London and sees no need for an ambitious career or marriage.
Grubby, useless, terrified — Maeve Dashwood can dig her heels in all she likes, but when destiny comes calling, the Valar will drag her kicking and screaming. Facing a new world of horrors while suffering the graphic withdrawals of modern comforts and medicine, this reluctant and extremely unqualified heroine might be Middle Earth’s only hope. Eru take pity on them all.Series
- Part 1 of Please Read The Care Label
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 233,991
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Comments:
- 841
- Kudos:
- 970
- Bookmarks:
- 345
- Hits:
- 47,690
Bookmarked by florathecake
29 Aug 2025
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All Evelyn Tozier wanted to do was make Derry High School a safer place for her kid brother. Well, somewhere between kissing Patrick Hockstetter and telling the principal to go f*** himself, things got a little off track. Now she’s stuck in the middle of a bizarre love triangle with two of Derry’s most troubled teens while her little brother and his friends hunt down a creepy, child-eating circus clown. This year, summer can’t come fast enough.
- Slow updates
- 3/24/2026 Update: I've returned from hiatus and am working on the next chapter.Series
- Part 1 of Paper Men
Bookmarked by florathecake
16 Jul 2025