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"Shit," Jud says, more to himself than Blanc. "Okay. Blanc, I—" his voice shudders, on the verge of breaking. "I don't think I can be here anymore."
There's a desperate, fatalistic edge to it that makes Blanc's blood run cold. "Where? Why? I'll come get you." He's already out of his seat.
"No, you don't have to— I—"
"Jud, where can't you be anymore," he demands as kindly as he can. He struggles to get his coat on, passing his phone from one hand to the other.
"The church. The church, Blanc. I can't do it."
"Alright. Alright."
Series
- Part 1 of (un)holy week
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Blanc wants to shake him. Blanc wants to hold him in his arms, give him a safe place to sleep. But Jud wouldn't accept it, he knows. Might accept his affection, maybe, but not his offer of escape, and the two are inextricably intertwined to Blanc. They're hurting you, he thinks, almost pleading, the same way they hurt me. Can't you see it?
Or, Blanc's thoughts as he rejects Jud's offer to stay for Mass.
Series
- Part 1 of some mysteries don't have an answer
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"Welcome to St. Thomas Parish." That smile again. Friendly, polite, lacking any humor or excess. Safe; digestible. "Is there anything I can help you with? Or you're welcome to just sit in the quiet if you'd like."
Jud thinks of Blanc's entrance through the church doors, bladed wit at the ready, eyes sparking. He thinks of the way he himself welcomed Blanc, huddled on the floor, dirty and tear-streaked, unarmored. Blanc's wit cut with precision, but Jud is a boxer. A blunt instrument.
"Are you taking confessions?" he blurts, shoulders hiked up.
Father Kelly hesitates. "We usually hold confession Tuesday and Thursday evenings..." He casts his gaze over Jud uncertainly. "But the Church is always open to those in need."
Series
- Part 2 of a world worth living in
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"...is it terrible that I'm almost relieved?"
Blanc looks confused for a moment by the non sequitur. "Relieved...about what specifically?"
"All of it, I guess. That it's done. I was so terrified and now it's just— all the things I imagined, they happened. Nothing left to be scared of."
Blanc hums. "After the weekend you've had, I think you're well within your rights to be glad it's over with."
Jud shakes his head. "No, Blanc. Not this weekend. I've been terrified for years, my whole life maybe. I didn't— I never felt good. Like a good priest, or a good man at all, really. And now, it's like...I don't know the answer, but it doesn't matter. I don't have to prove it anymore."
A conflicted look passes over Blanc's face. "You never did, Jud," he says quietly.
Series
- Part 1 of a world worth living in
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
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here among these vibrant lights by firefly_crossing
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
Grace finds himself aboard the Hail Mary with no memory of who he is or how he got there. Good thing he’s not alone! Jacob "Rocky" Ortega, the lead engineer on the mission, is there to make sure everything runs smoothly.
But things aren't quite as they seem - if they're just coworkers, why does Grace's heart beat faster whenever they lock eyes? And how come each fractured piece he recovers of his life before leaves him with more questions than answers about the true nature of their relationship? For someone who doesn't like to lie, Rocky is awfully good at keeping secrets.
Bookmarked by justoldlight
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
Jal has a nightmare. Saint gets involved.
(Companion piece to Honey That's How It Sleeps, because obviously Jal has nightmares too.)
Bookmarked by justoldlight
14 Jun 2026
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god, how i love you by ephemeralfragments
Fandoms: Knives Out (Movies), Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
08 Dec 2025
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Summary
Benoit thinks about the restlessness in Jud, the way he is a breath away from a new set of bruised knuckles. Imagines him in the ring, formidable and unsettled and angry, so angry. And then: Jud in the warm light of the church, Jud on the phone to Julie, gentle and kind and so very good that it almost aches.
or: a study in love as faith.
Bookmarked by justoldlight
05 Jun 2026
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Friend Grace is Hero by SassyStarboard
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
Adrian meets Rocky and Grace in the biodome to discuss Grace’s needs on Erid, which then leads Adrian to discover exactly how Grace ended up in space. They are displeased with humanity, to say the least.
Bookmarked by justoldlight
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
He tries to believe it might actually be over, and he can relax. Take a deep breath.
Suddenly, Jud’s vision starts to narrow. Everything blurs and as though from the other side of a pane of glass he’s vaguely aware of Blanc saying “-Jud? Jud!” Before he blacks out.
Bookmarked by justoldlight
01 Jun 2026

