literallytheworst



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
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    1,255

    09 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Several years into Rozanov’s career, ESPN hires a reporter fluent in Russian.

    Suddenly able to answer questions fluently and with a wide vocabulary, Rozanov’s interviews go viral. Hockey fans around the world get a new look at what they thought about Boston’s #81. This changes not only his public persona, but his whole life.

    Inspired by the look on NBA star Nikola Jokić’s face when he was asked a question in his native Serbian and my own struggles learning a new language.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,797
    Chapters:
    11/?
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    1,886
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    07 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ten years after his retirement, generational talent Ilya Rozanov broke his equally long public disappearance to do the biography that will change everything.


    "You… didn't hate him. You two weren't rivals at all."

    Ilya glanced at him, eyes half-mast.

    "You…"

    Adam had never stared at someone so openly before.

    "You loved him."

    And for twenty years, the world never knew.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,765
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    195
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    765
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    277
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    19 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “They’re… chaos,” Remus said firmly. “And chaos is—”
    “Rock and roll.”
    He looked at Sirius sharply, and for once, matched his grin. “Yeah.”
    “Maybe that’s my excuse then,” Sirius said. “I cause a bit of chaos now, and maybe one day, it’ll turn into rock and roll.”

    After losing his mother at age eleven, Remus has spent the better part of the last four years bouncing from school to school or else running around London and pretending as though he wasn't the kind of well-bred boy his father brought him up to be. Now, with his chances all run out, Remus is sent to Hawkings Independent School as a last-ditch effort to clean up his act. There he meets the very people who will set up the rest of his life, and is forced to confront the pieces of himself he'd long thought had been lost.

    (genuinely not apologising for the slow-burn in this fic anymore. You've been warned <3)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    979,792
    Chapters:
    108/108
    Collections:
    30
    Comments:
    14,899
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    16 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m thinking of ending things.”

    James pressed his lips together hard as he fought the urge to suck in a breath at the words. He instinctively reached for his binder of prepared materials and began to flip through it as if it would have the answer, rustling the pages frantically as he did.

    “Hello?”

    James flinched. “Um, hi, yes sorry it’s uh-- it’s my first day.”

    A pause. Then, dry as a bone: “Brilliant. You’d think they’d at least train you to tell people not to kill themselves before handing you a phone.”

    James froze, then panicked. “Oh God-- you’re right, I mean, of course-- I didn’t-- oh, shit, I just--”

    James’s rambling was interrupted by a quiet sound, over so quickly he almost missed it.

    The caller had laughed.

    At him.

    OR

    A muggle college AU where James is a Psychology student who starts working at a crisis center. His first caller is dry, guarded, and somehow familiar, despite being a perfect stranger. Night after night their conversations continue, blurring all the lines between them, until the caller finally makes a choice that changes both their lives forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,339
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Comments:
    612
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    2,495
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    580
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    30 Nov 2025