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    It was a Friday when the video dropped.

    “What is happening?” He asked St Simon, who was holding his phone tight to his chest, his expression odd. “Someone has died?” 

    Across the room he could see Marlow moving slowly upright from where he had been doing floor stretches, his phone in his hand as well, his face pinched. 

    “It’s Hollander,” St Simon said. 

    The bottom of Ilya’s stomach fell out, closely followed by the rest of Ilya’s organs. His chest hurt so acutely that he thought he must be having a heart attack. 

    “Not dead,” St Simon added quickly, reaching out to grab Ilya’s shoulder when Ilya’s knees actually buckled. “Jesus, sorry. I should have - no it’s just -” 

    “Someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” Ilya snapped, “and everyone else shut up.” 

    Marlow reached him now, held his phone out to Ilya, open already to an article with a headline huge enough Ilya could easily make out the HOLLANDER blaring out of it even before his eyes focused and he took the phone from Marlow. 

    A video is posted online, for Shane it feels like a death sentence. For some parts of him, it is.

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    13 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander doesn't know what he is. He knows what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are different things.

    Ilya Rozanov knows what he is. He can't control what he wants. For a long time, he tells himself those are the same thing.

    This is the story of two boys who handle it badly—from a junior tournament in Canada to the NHL draft to the moment a security camera at the end of a hallway changes everything

    -

    They exchange numbers at the very beginning. It makes them reckless.

    aka Shane and Ilya are discovered before they even play their first game

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    Language:
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    16 Jul 2026

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    "Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?"

    "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.

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    14 Jul 2026

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    Following a near-fatal suicide attempt, Ilya Rozanov is admitted to Calder Ward. He speaks almost exclusively Russian, refuses interpreters, and answers most questions with shrugs or silence. Staff struggle to establish even the most basic details of his life. Why he attempted suicide, who he left a note for, and what he has lost remain mysteries.

    Across the ward, Shane Hollander is fighting a different battle. Intelligent, anxious, and trapped by an eating disorder, he attempts to maintain rigid control over food, exercise, and his body even as his health deteriorates. Despite increasing concern from staff, he struggles to recognise the severity of his illness.
    As clinicians search for answers, the story reveals that recovery is rarely driven by dramatic breakthroughs. Instead, it emerges through trust, routine, patience, and human connection.

    Told entirely through clinical documentation, ward notes, emails, assessments, and multidisciplinary discussions.

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    14 Jul 2026

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    Ilya had dismissed the feeling out of hand, except he has now just spent half an hour in the bicycle shop considering the difference between 190 gsm and 250 gsm merino wool and which would best keep Shane warm while wicking sweat during his morning commutes.

    This is yet another thing Ilya has never done before. The only person whose sweat he has ever contemplated the wicking of has been himself.

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    13 Jul 2026

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