ocriminy



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    676
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    9,111
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    29 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane was gay. That was the entire point of this whole thing. He was a man who loved another man. And he was a man

    He was a professional athlete, nearly six feet tall, just about 200 pounds. But for every single thing about him that he felt like served to qualify him as a man, it was like Ilya had somehow turned the dial up to eleven. 

    And Shane loved it. 

    or, five times that Shane is overwhelmed by his husband's masculinity and one time that Ilya realizes he is not the man of the house. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,367
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
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    475
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    8,082
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    29 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    717
    Kudos:
    17,481
    Bookmarks:
    1,908
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    64,932

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    January 15, 2017
    For immediate release.
    (English version)

    The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

    -

    or, a canon-divergent au in which shane and rose never met, in epistolary format.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    930
    Kudos:
    8,538
    Bookmarks:
    1,513
    Hits:
    68,161

    29 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Hollander, did you hear about this shit?”

    Shane glanced up from his phone. “What?”

    “Come here, look.”

    Shane crossed the locker room to stand beside Hayden. J.J. tilted his phone screen towards them to show a news headline. ‘Iced Out’ Is Catching Fire: Russian Rap Song Goes Viral Thanks to Hockey Star Ilya Rozanov

    “What the hell?” Shane heard himself ask. “Wait, they just asked me about this.”

    “I fucking hate this guy,” Hayden groaned. “I swear to God he did this purposely to fuck with all of us.”

    aka

    the one where Ilya's featured on a viral rap song, and Shane can't figure out why he keeps getting hard in the middle of games.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,155
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    243
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    2,525
    Bookmarks:
    563
    Hits:
    25,475

    29 Jun 2026