old_pens



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 54

    Words:
    65,128
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    54

    10 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane says, “You don’t wanna go raw?”

    Ilya drops the box of condoms. Looks at Shane. Shane looks back.

    “What?”

    “Do you want me to commit a felony?”

    “I think public indecency is usually a misdemeanor.”

    Ilya tries to bite him through his shirt.

    “Ow, ow, Ilya, stop that-”

    Ilya and Shane are thirty-five, married, and living their best happily ever after—until the plane they're in falls out of the sky and they wake up back in 2009. Of course they fuck about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    900
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    4,621

    09 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You are not broken, Ilya,” Terry says, sounding a little stern now. “I told you to keep an eye on the side effects. How long have you been experiencing this?”

    “Since last night.”

    “What?”

    “Since last night,” Ilya repeats. “Or afternoon, technically.”

    And Terry…Terry fucking laughs.

    Ilya is going to die, and Shane will be sad forever and Terry fucking laughs.

    “It hasn’t even been a day?” Terry clarifies, still chuckling. “Well, this could have nothing to do with the medication. It could just be an off day—”

    “Off day?” Ilya repeats incredulously. “Have you seen my husband? There are no off days with an ass like that.”

    OR: Ilya starts taking antidepressants only to realise it's fucking up his sex life. And, he acts totally very chill about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,436
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    736
    Kudos:
    7,378
    Bookmarks:
    1,825
    Hits:
    66,252

    06 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.

    Or being out didn’t make him nicer. Being married didn’t make him softer. Being older didn’t make him weaker. And being a father? Well. That’t when things get complicated.

    (He’s really good at that last part. Don’t tell anyone.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,287
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1,221
    Kudos:
    31,277
    Bookmarks:
    6,893
    Hits:
    331,352

    06 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary


    Shane: Hello?
    Unknown Caller: Is this bird professor?
    Shane: …uh yes?
    Unknown Caller: Cool. Do humming birds have legs?
    Shane: What?
    Unknown Caller: Do humming birds—
    Shane: No, I heard you. Yes they have legs.
    Unknown Caller: [loud cheering in the background] I win! Thank you bird professor.
    Shane: …uh you're welcome?
    Unknown Caller: Goodbye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    335
    Kudos:
    5,641
    Bookmarks:
    685
    Hits:
    21,392

    05 Jul 2026