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birds & bees, or: how dennis whitaker learned to stop fearing sex and love sleeping with his boss by catjohnny
Fandoms: The Pitt (TV)
17 Dec 2025
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Summary
“It's embarrassing.”
Robby glanced over. Whitaker was still facing the window, his hands twisted in the hem of his sweatshirt.
“If it’s got you this worked up, it must be important. I won't judge.”
Whitaker sighed. “I…I started dating someone. A guy. I met him on a dating app, and we’ve been together about a month.”
Robby hummed in acknowledgement. He didn't speak yet, waiting for Whitaker to continue.
“The problem,” Whitaker muttered, “is that he’s…my first boyfriend. I'm 27 years old, and I've never kissed anyone before, let alone had sex. I've avoided the sex part this far—using work and being tired as excuses—but I'm seeing him this weekend and I can't…I know I can’t hold it off forever.”
Whitaker is a virgin. Robby has a hard time saying no to his favorite resident. When Whitaker asks for help with his problem, what else is there for Robby to do?
Series
- Part 1 of sex ed with michael robinavitch, md
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,209
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 126
- Kudos:
- 3,127
- Bookmarks:
- 672
- Hits:
- 35,922
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
03 Jun 2026
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Summary
Robby is in his fifties and Dennis's sex drive is going to put him in an early grave. When trying to tell Dennis that they might need to cool it until Robby's back stops hurting, he tells Dennis he 'can't do this anymore'. Dennis thinks he means the relationship.
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
31 May 2026
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Summary
“I haven’t really been to a wedding where I’ve, uh… let loose. But, hey,” Dennis shrugged, “maybe I’m doing it wrong.”
“If I hadn’t already agreed to go to this conference, I’d offer to go with you,” Robby said casually. “Show you how it’s done. I’ve got a good track record as a plus-one, too.” Dennis had to say something. To interrupt. To shut this down. But what was he supposed to say? No, you can’t be my plus one, because I lied about my cousin, and there is no wedding, and it seems a little weird to bring a date to a fucking funeral– “Apparently parents love it when you bring home a doctor.”
And just like that, the bubble popped.
“I’m not gay,” Dennis snapped.
He had never hated the sound of his own voice as much as he did right then.
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Or, Dennis is anxiously headed home for a "wedding" in Broken Bow, Nebraska, the details of which are increasingly fuzzy. Robby's got a medical conference in Omaha that same weekend. So they carpool. Seventeen hours both ways in an enclosed space with no way out except a tuck and roll. This'll go great.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,936
- Chapters:
- 37/39
- Comments:
- 3,746
- Kudos:
- 5,391
- Bookmarks:
- 1,378
- Hits:
- 186,457
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
27 May 2026
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Summary
After a hurricane tears through the southeast, doctors across the country are bought in to help. Whitaker’s experience living in a rural community allows him to connect to patients, but sharing a motel room with Robby means his crush is more distracting than ever.
This fic takes place between Season 1 and 2.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,756
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 938
- Kudos:
- 3,707
- Bookmarks:
- 896
- Hits:
- 87,454
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
16 Apr 2026
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- Words:
- 222,965
- Works:
- 11
- Bookmarks:
- 1,769
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
10 Apr 2026
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Summary
While renting himself out to pay for med school, twenty-four year old Dennis Whitaker meets fifty-four year old Michael Robinavitch. A quiet, unassuming doctor, so unlike his other patrons. What began as an agreement of simple convenience- Dennis's companionship for Robby's support- develops into something real as Robby becomes more than a client and their relationship becomes more than a simple contract.
Series
- Part 1 of Nebraska Dreaming
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Summary
Harry Potter: Bruised veteran of too many heartbreaks; cynical, jaded drunkard; Wardwright, war hero, recluse, and part time matchmaker. Next target -- Severus Snape, who has a lot to learn about love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 101,164
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 171
- Kudos:
- 1,587
- Bookmarks:
- 511
- Hits:
- 45,572
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
26 Feb 2026
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Summary
When Draco's curse goes wrong, Harry finds himself transformed into a kneazle and injured in Severus Snape's potions classroom. Unaware of the creature's true identity, Severus takes in the "stray" kneazle, providing care and unexpected gentleness. As Harry recovers in Severus's private quarters, he discovers a softer side to his intimidating professor—one who reads to him, shares meals, and eventually allows him into his bed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,507
- Chapters:
- 18/?
- Comments:
- 279
- Kudos:
- 1,062
- Bookmarks:
- 267
- Hits:
- 22,904
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
When Harry finds an injured Snape on his doorstep and must hide him from the Dursleys, he has no idea that this very, very bad day will be the start of something good.
Harry and Snape are thrown together by annoying relatives, a series of strange dreams, and Voldemort's latest hunt for Harry, but their greatest challenge may well be surviving each other. This will be a long summer unless the two can find a way to work together. A slow-burn enemy-to-mentor story.
Alternate 6th summer (and part of the school year): post-OotP; ignores HBP and DH. No slash, no romance. NOW COMPLETE!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 373,223
- Chapters:
- 61/61
- Collections:
- 37
- Comments:
- 3,475
- Kudos:
- 20,178
- Bookmarks:
- 6,642
- Hits:
- 867,636
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
17 Jan 2026
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Summary
Nagini has been acting suspiciously. Lord Voldemort is just there to make sure she's okay. He has absolutely no interest in Harry Potter. Really.
Series
- Part 3 of Souls of Ilk
- Part 1 of A Hand like Sunshine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,668
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 276
- Kudos:
- 12,965
- Bookmarks:
- 1,867
- Hits:
- 143,164
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
18 Dec 2025
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Hungry Harry and the Death Eater Dinner by Anna_Hopkins for MistyTheGhost, DarkkBluee, Run_of_the_mill
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Jun 2019
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Summary
Prompt: Every day, Harry passes by a house from which emanates a tantalizing smell. Every day he thinks about going in. One day, he does.
Harry went looking for dinner and got dessert too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,777
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 2,206
- Bookmarks:
- 359
- Hits:
- 26,165
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
01 Dec 2025
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Summary
Voldemort, unexpectedly short on money and growing tired of both Wormtail's existence and Nagini's incessant pleas to eat the wizard, has a most brilliant idea: crowdfunding, and the first reward tier is a livestreamed broadcast of Nagini getting her wish. It is a massive success - and the people demand more.
Said 'people' just so happens to include one Boy-Who-Lived.
Series
- Part 1 of Dark Livestream Extended Universe
- Part 10 of October, 2021
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,222
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Collections:
- 59
- Comments:
- 2,796
- Kudos:
- 9,041
- Bookmarks:
- 2,572
- Hits:
- 280,202
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
28 Nov 2025
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Summary
Voldemort survives the final battle and is imprisoned in Azkaban. After a series of unfortunate events, Harry Potter ends up in the cell next to him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 122,783
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,293
- Kudos:
- 2,868
- Bookmarks:
- 728
- Hits:
- 95,073
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
26 Nov 2025
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Summary
When a Voldemort in his thirties encounters a time-travelling, seventeen-year-old Harry Potter, he makes a dangerous—and hilarious—assumption. He assumes that Harry is his son. And his son, of course, deserves the very best.
A confused Harry plays along for the sake of self-preservation, but living with his “father” is proving to be intolerable in more ways than one.
“You are mine,” Voldemort said gently, and smiled when Harry flinched. So the boy did know Voldemort, after all. He knew Voldemort was to be feared. “I will look after you, my own.”
“I don’t belong to you,” Harry spat, despite his fear. Oh, what a delight he was! He was no cowering, simpering sycophant, like Voldemort’s other followers; no, this child had a spine of steel. Not many could stand before Voldemort without quailing.
“You are my son,” Voldemort declared. “Of course you belong to me. Your every cell, your every fibre, your every heartbeat. You are mine in flesh and blood and soul. You are mine in magic. And you will not deny me.”
Now with Chinese, Korean, Russian and Portugese translations, and featuring art by Mona and Hypnodisc!
Series
- Part 4 of Tomarrymort Stories
- Part 3 of Daddymort
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,580
- Chapters:
- 23/?
- Comments:
- 11,714
- Kudos:
- 42,527
- Bookmarks:
- 11,245
- Hits:
- 1,291,843
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
25 Nov 2025
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Summary
Steve starts paying Eddie for sex once he discovers that Eddie doesn't just deal drugs and perform at the Hideout.
(Steve doesn't mean to fall in love with him, but he can’t help himself.)
Series
- Part 2 of Running with the Devil
- Part 1 of Money, Power, Glory
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 292,494
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 2,225
- Kudos:
- 5,609
- Bookmarks:
- 1,414
- Hits:
- 253,510
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
23 Sep 2025
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How to Woo the Winter Soldier by writeonclara
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
16 Feb 2019
Tags
Summary
“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.
“What,” Natasha said.
“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.
“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.
Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,570
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 979
- Kudos:
- 16,588
- Bookmarks:
- 4,384
- Hits:
- 150,003
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
18 Sep 2025
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Back to Square One by rosensilence
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Superman (Comics)
29 Mar 2025
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Summary
When Superman is caught leaving Clark Kent’s apartment in the early hours of the morning, there is only one way for Clark to protect his secret identity—he has to pretend to be dating himself. Clark can cope with the ensuing stares, comments, and increased attention that follows but when Batman starts to take an interest in Clark Kent, he starts to think that maybe, he should have just revealed his identity.
Written for Superbat Week 2024 Day 1 - Identity Reveal
Series
- Part 1 of Superbat Week 2024
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,872
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 317
- Kudos:
- 3,734
- Bookmarks:
- 760
- Hits:
- 46,245
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
10 Sep 2025
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Summary
Intergalactic negotiations are difficult.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,157
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 300
- Kudos:
- 12,212
- Bookmarks:
- 2,378
- Hits:
- 74,611
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
26 Aug 2025
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Summary
Hawkeye gets thoroughly chewed out for flirting with the Father, but no one notices (or believes) it's a mutual thing. It's almost like they have reputations or something.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,959
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 59
- Kudos:
- 433
- Bookmarks:
- 65
- Hits:
- 2,687
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
After a bout of accidental magic when Harry is six, Vernon goes too far. When Harry wakes up, he is gravely wounded and more than fifty years in the past in another world. After some shuffling, Harry ends up at Wool's. There, he meets Tom Riddle, his mysterious roommate, eventual best friend, and the love of his life.
Inspired by a doctor he meets in the past, Harry is determined to go into medicine and protect other children like himself and Tom. Tom has his own dream of becoming Prime Minister. The boys quickly become inseparable and are determined to help each other down their paths to build a life together.
He wanted Harry. He had never coveted anyone this much.
Tom understood now that some part of him had never given up on having a… friend. Someone who understood him more than anyone else. Someone who would always take his side.
In a flash, he knew he would do anything to have Harry Faye’s loyalty.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 300,852
- Chapters:
- 69/?
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 11,997
- Kudos:
- 26,098
- Bookmarks:
- 7,987
- Hits:
- 1,124,377
Bookmarked by probablycrazy
14 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
THEE tomarry fic OF ALL TIME. Long, unfinished, absolutely fucking worth it. Author is in med school and the love of medicine/healing/learning shines through beautifully. Lovely. Also the slowest burn I've ever read, this fic is like watching the coals in a campfire, it's warm and comfy and beautiful, and I'm in love.