royalmess
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Recent works
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Tell me, what else should I have done? by properpauper (royalmess)
Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)
14 Jun 2026
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Summary
Unfortunately, “leaving the cucumbers for tomorrow” gave John ample time to whisper filthy scenarios in Arthur’s ear that, even more unfortunately, sunk into Arthur’s imagination.
or, Arthur and John still have a lot of leftover cucumbers. What else are they to do with them?
Series
- Part 2 of Garden Variety Smut
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Summary
John feigns innocence. “What, Arthur? We’re talking about the uses of this cucumber. Are you thinking of something else?”
or, after they find themselves in possession of too many cucumbers, John and Arthur make the most of it. (John fucks Arthur with the cucumber.)
Series
- Part 1 of Garden Variety Smut
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Summary
Both of them remain slack, curled up like a child in the midst of Carcosa’s ruins, as the first sun sets. Carcosa has been described in many ways. Ominous and unnatural and alluring, yes, but never lonely until this moment.
“I’m sorry,” John says genuinely.
“I don’t care,” Yellow lies.
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Like a Heartbeat by royalmess
Fandoms: とんがり帽子のアトリエ | Tongari Boushi no Atelier | Witch Hat Atelier (Manga)
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Would you have?” Olruggio says quietly.
Qifrey frowns. “Would I have what?”
“Told me. If you had—you know, injured yourself. I’m not sure you would unless you had to,” Olruggio explains. His voice is gentle, his demeanor remains tired, and it’s clear to Qifrey he does not mean it as an accusation. He’s pointing out the obvious.
Even so, it sinks into Qifrey like stones dropped in stillwater. His mouth wobbles and he ducks his head lower to hide the redness rising to his cheeks and ears. “I would,” Qifrey says. The lie is too easy.
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Here the Frailest Leaves of Me by properpauper (royalmess)
Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)
29 Jan 2026
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Summary
When Arthur is asleep, John is haunted. Every bit of his surface area is too hot, too cold, too aching, too empty. John is convinced it goes beyond wanting. Every fiber of his limited existence craves touch and simultaneously rages with burning jealousy that it’s not easy to ask for.
or, 5 times John navigates his relationship to touch without a body + 1 time with a body
Recent series
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- Words:
- 3,011
- Works:
- 2
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The Hows of Hinata and Kageyama's Relationship by properpauper (royalmess), royalmess
Fandom Haikyuu!!
22 Feb 2021
- Words:
- 11,231
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 20
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- Words:
- 26,591
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 6
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
The Kageyamas are the best blacksmiths in town - but no-one has ever really spoken to the younger brother, who keeps himself to his forge and his rifle.
Hinata Shouyou is one of their best customers, bringing the horses from his family's ranch to the shop for shoeing regularly. When he discovers Kageyama indulging in some target practice, a competition springs up. Hinata hadn't been expecting to ever actually talk to the guy, let alone get into a rifle shooting contest. But then again, he didn't expect to end up giving him horse riding lessons either.
Kageyama Tobio isn't really sure why he let a stranger shoot his rifle or agree to learn how to ride a horse, but he does know one thing: he's definitely not going to lose.
(A cowboy AU; Kageyama is the local blacksmith who's scared of horses, and Hinata's the ranch hand who can't shoot a gun. Time to swap skills. Competitively.)
Series
- Part 6 of One Hundred and Eighty-Eight Centimetres
Bookmarked by royalmess
25 Feb 2022
Bookmarker's Notes
pleeeeaaaase this is the cutest cowboy au on this side of the west and I would give anything for either one of them in this fic 10/10 em did an amazing job
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you may tell the german college that their honor comes too late by magpiesbones
Fandoms: とんがり帽子のアトリエ | Tongari Boushi no Atelier | Witch Hat Atelier (Manga)
29 Aug 2022
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Summary
The Knights’ cloaks are the color of an open wound against the walls of the atelier, their pennants like exposed bones. They look at him like Olruggio has committed a crime he cannot remember. Maybe he has.
They do not tell him who Qifrey is, even when he asks. They do not tell him much of anything.
Olruggio thinks he can figure it out from the empty space.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,893
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 150
- Kudos:
- 1,469
- Bookmarks:
- 377
- Hits:
- 15,187
Bookmarked by royalmess
11 Sep 2022
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Our Little Secret(s) by hibahime for royalmess
Fandoms: 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
25 Feb 2022
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Summary
Disappointed that her daddy can't make it to her show due to conflicting schedules, it's a good thing Uncle Miles is there to give her a little heart-to-heart.
And if a few secrets are shared in the process... well, that's just between the two of them.
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Touch (or The Greatest Enemies to Lovers) by thalia_muse_of_comedy for starberryteas
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
14 Mar 2021
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Summary
It is a truth universally acknowledged that: openers hate closers; Kageyama hates having his routine disturbed; and being a barista makes one basically immune to boiling liquids.
Or the one where Kageyama and Hinata have to come up with a system to combat their idiocy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,480
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 207
- Bookmarks:
- 38
- Hits:
- 1,564
Bookmarked by royalmess
24 Feb 2021
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Summary
Shouyou pulls at the bow with a final tug before leaning back to admire his handiwork. There’s probably about a 50% chance that the note will stay in place, and even less likely that Neko’s owner will reply. Shouyou shrugs, moving to sit on the cushion next to Neko. Oh well. He can at least say that he tried.
Moving to Tokyo has been awesome, if a bit unpredictable.
The day that he settles into his apartment, a cat named Neko turns up on his windowsill. Shouyou begins communicating with its owner via messenger cat—tying notes around Neko’s collar. It takes a few exchanges, but Shouyou eventually coaxes Neko’s owner into telling him their name: Tobio.
Meanwhile at his new job, one of his bosses, Suga, seems insistent that Shouyou pursue one of their regulars. Kageyama is attractive, sure, but wouldn't it be unprofessional to date a client?
As Shouyou finds himself falling for both of them, who will he choose? Gruff but sweet Neko-owning Tobio? Or awkward but hot volleyball-playing Kageyama?
Series
- Part 1 of Adventures with Neko-san
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,894
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 85
- Kudos:
- 578
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 5,723
Bookmarked by royalmess
20 Feb 2021
Bookmarker's Notes
this has many of my favorite tropes in one package. i love it so much