saltyaboutit



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Sveta
    Help me
    I am in love with a virgin

    Ilya was exaggerating for comic effect, of course. He wasn’t in love with Shane Hollander. He was just absolutely infatuated with him and wanted to carry him around in his pocket and also fuck him senseless and then count his freckles while he slept beside him. So not love, just whatever that was, but still. It was a problem.

    Or,
    A newly-drafted Ilya Rozanov finds himself transfixed by a beautiful man in the grocery store.

    A newly-single Shane Hollander does something uncharacteristically brave.

    Neither of them are prepared for just how out of their depth they're about to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,890
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    1,897
    Kudos:
    2,895
    Bookmarks:
    860
    Hits:
    62,461

    17 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Within a year, Ilya and Shane slowly reveal their secret relationship through social media posts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,775
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    3,543
    Bookmarks:
    402
    Hits:
    17,866

    16 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It was a dangerous plan.
    Perhaps a foolish one too.
    There were lots of things that could go badly.
    Things they probably hadn't even thought of yet.
    And Rozanov held all the real risk here.

    Or a marriage of convenience fic that starts in 2009 and changes the rest of the story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,068
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    903
    Kudos:
    1,007
    Bookmarks:
    394
    Hits:
    25,998

    09 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,078
    Kudos:
    32,019
    Bookmarks:
    3,629
    Hits:
    141,331

    09 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 67

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    Summary

    When Shane decides to learn Russian for the Sochi Olympics - and for absolutely no other reason - he makes a friend in an online forum which ends up leading to a hard conversation with Ilya.

    Or, a tuna meltdown fix-it
    Or, or, Svetlana finds out and bashes these silly boy's heads together like I used to do with my barbies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    635
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    3,207

    08 Jul 2026