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    Ilya locked his arm around Shane’s throat and drew him up onto his knees. The hold was snug, a real headlock, the kind that would make most men tap out. Shane didn’t tap out, but he stayed very still. His pulse galloped against the juncture of Ilya’s elbow, powerfully enough that Ilya could feel its insistent throbbing. Everything in the room had been pulled taut—the cord of Ilya’s shoulders, the line of Shane’s back, even the air between them had a rigidity to it. Ilya was breathing heavily, panting open-mouthed against Shane’s sweat-damp temple.

    “I could fuck you like this,” Ilya said. “I could fuck you right now, like this, not let you breathe, not let you come.”

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    07 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    In another life — or maybe the next one, or maybe the one before — Ilya Rozanov learns that some roads only lead to one place. No matter how you take them, the wolves are always waiting at the end.

    Maybe that's why, in December 2008, Ilya wakes up with the distinct, inexplicable sense, that he has already lived this life before.

    Some things, it turns out, are inevitable. The question is whether he is.

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    13 May 2026

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    They toe off their shoes in the entryway and Shane looks around, pulling in a deep breath and letting it go. Two hours ago, his dad had walked in on him and Ilya and Shane had thought the world was ending. Now, the world seems bigger and more plausible than ever, like a smooth, fresh field of ice, stretching all the way to the horizon, just waiting for his skates to mark it up. He turns, and there is Ilya, hands in his pockets, watching Shane with a look of lazy contentment on his face as if he feels it, too.

    OR: Two weeks at the cottage.

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    12 May 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    06 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "Sveta," he says, before she can greet him. "I think I'm about to do something very stupid."

    "You're always doing something stupid," she laughs, her voice tinny over the speakerphone. "What is it this time?"

    "I am in a staring contest with a bottle of pills," Ilya says. "And I think the pills might win."

    -

    Or: An alternate take on Ilya's mental health after moving to Ottawa, featuring the reality of long distance relationships, Ilya learning to captain a new team, and a series of game tapes made by Ilya's dead father.

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    02 May 2026