sourlavander



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

    Language:
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    6/6
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    11 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden just wanted to surprise Shane with a guy’s night in. Shane had been flat lately, and he and JJ thought it would be nice to distract him with friendship.
    How they ended up stuck in a fucking closet watching Shane get dicked down harder than anyone in the history of the world has ever been dicked down, Hayden would never quite understand.

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    1/1
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    10 Jul 2026

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
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    10 Jul 2026

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    "He said it was just a stronger edible," Wyatt says. "Apparently it was supposed to be super natural, and relaxing and rejuvenating, not the weak Canadian shit, and—"

    "You say a bad word, Hazy," Ilya interrupts, pointing a tiny finger at him.

    "Right." Wyatt winces. "Sorry, kid."

    Rejuvenating. Shane turns the word over in his mind a few times, while readjusting Ilya’s little body in his arms.

    Jesus fucking Christ.

    -

    or, with the help of some mysterious russian candy and a very loving husband, ilya rozanov heals his inner child.

    Language:
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    4/4
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    07 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya goes on a roadie while Shane is still on LTIR.

    LISA: Whatever rocks your socks

    NICOLE: Whatever tickles your fancy

    CASSIE: Whatever flips your pancake

    SELENA: Whatever turns your crank

    CAITLIN: Whatever fondles your goose

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    5
    Comments:
    298
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    10,970
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    720
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    07 Jul 2026