takingbacksunday



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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    16 Jun 2026

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    “You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.

    Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”

    “You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.

    “Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”

    “And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”

    “When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”

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    16 Jun 2026

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    “Do you know this name, ‘Shane Hollander’?”
    The kid looked at Shane, chewing his lip and frowning a little, before turning back to Rozanov. “I think so, yes.”
    “Who is he?
    “Uh… a hockey player?”
    “No,” Rozanov said in a harsh, cutting tone. “He is no one. Because he is on my ice. Understand?”

    To help with his edge control, the Metros' coach recommends Shane take figure skating lessons with someone named Ilya Rozanov. Rozanov is rude, abrasive, and insists he will only teach Shane in a group class for kids. Shane, a rookie hell-bent on proving himself and unwilling to disappoint his coach, refuses to give up despite how much Rozanov tries to humiliate him each lesson.

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    14 Jun 2026

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    Shane turns the exact shade of ripe cherries in the summer whenever he’s around Ilya.
    Cherry red becomes Ilya’s favourite colour.

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    12 Jun 2026

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    “Hollander,” Ilya replied stiffly, trying his best to school his tone. “You never call me.”

    “I need–nngh–“ he panted out.

    Ilya froze, all of the questions in his head like “What are you doing?” and “Why are you calling me?” and “Why haven’t we spoken in so long?” immediately dissipating because that didn’t matter, not when it sounded like–

    “Are…are you touching yourself, Hollander?” Ilya asked, voice dropping low.

    “N-no,” Shane whimpered and fuck he missed hearing him like this. His thready breaths alone made Ilya grab at his sheets, his dick immediately perking up in interest. “I’m not–I’m not touching. I’m–fuck–”

    “You’re what?” Ilya demanded. “Finish the sentence.”

    “I’m humping a pillow.” The admission hung heavy in the air, and for a split second, Ilya lost all ability to speak.

    Shane Hollander wakes up with a vagina and can't get himself off. He calls the one person who can help him.

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    12 Jun 2026