tasooks



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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    06 Jul 2026

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    Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

     
    Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town?
    -
    Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us?
    Lily: no i promise
    Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell
    Jane: I don’t think he has any idea
    Lily: what makes you say this
    Jane: Just a hunch

     
    Or: Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

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    05 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 28

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    28 Jun 2026

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    For a while, Shane forgot how this all goes. He enjoys being with Rose, dancing with her. Finds her friends good enough company, none of them laugh at him for not wanting alcohol. It's easy to get lost in the music and the revelation that he is a hockey superhero.
    And then, across the dancefloor, lit up in cyan and lilac and magenta, looking like somebody's God, Ilya Rozanov sucks some girl's tongue down his throat as he makes eye contact with Shane.
    And Shane has seen this film before.

    Shane's day is almost as perfect as his life. Hockey star, beautiful girlfriend, loving family and team. And the endless thoughts about his super casual ex-hookup plaguing his every waking moment. When Shane finds himself stuck in a time loop with no way out, what else is there to do but a little introspection and spiralling? Oh, and calling that casual hookup.

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    03 Jun 2026

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    25 May 2026