theneph
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Draco doesn't want to identify Harry Potter when he's dragged into his home. He wants nothing to do with this mess. And when Bellatrix needs someone to torture, maybe he gives her a nudge toward Harry Potter instead of Granger, who's certain to break. It's not Draco's fault Aunt Bella leaves Harry with a curse that has him leaking Dark magic. It's certainly not his fault Dobby kidnapped Draco from Malfoy Manor along with the others when Draco whispered a few words into a broken mirror shard. And for Merlin's sake, it's not his fault he's the only one practiced in fighting Dark magic. Why should he be punished? And punished. And punished...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 202,135
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 353
- Kudos:
- 1,572
- Bookmarks:
- 569
- Hits:
- 51,283
Bookmarked by theneph
15 Jun 2026
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Never Mind the Bollocks by The_Sinking_Ship for shiftylinguini
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Dec 2023
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If someone told Harry six months ago that by autumn he would be single, living on whisky and toast, and dancing the night away with Draco Malfoy, he would have told them to get their head checked.
And yet, here he was.
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Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,117
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 713
- Kudos:
- 17,217
- Bookmarks:
- 5,849
- Hits:
- 371,738
Bookmarked by theneph
18 May 2026
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It’s Pansy’s fault, really, for inviting Draco’s Quidditch star ex and his new boytoy to her wedding cruise. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and nothing is more desperate than asking the only other wizard in England who can compete in both looks and fame to fake being in love with him for seven days.
The fact that Potter is also his boss, roommate, and occasional friend should make it easier.
So Draco has it handled. Everything is fine.
Draco's an exceptional liar and Potter is…well, admittedly Potter is becoming a problem.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,160
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 432
- Kudos:
- 2,760
- Bookmarks:
- 746
- Hits:
- 44,411
Bookmarked by theneph
16 May 2026
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Draco discovers he is pregnant after Harry disappears from the wizarding world. Ten years later, Harry returns.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,271
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 832
- Bookmarks:
- 197
- Hits:
- 8,117
Bookmarked by theneph
14 May 2026