wildwinter
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,960
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 2,149
- Kudos:
- 12,960
- Bookmarks:
- 4,221
- Hits:
- 197,060
Bookmarked by wildwinter
18 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Ok, and another one of my all time favourites across all fandoms.
I've read this one three times already and it keeps getting more brilliant every time!
The yearning while doing it in this is really heart-breaking - it deliciously twist my stomach all the times, so effectively, with so few words - every line written is so thick, so heavy with what is left unsaid, what is left unacknowledged, in Ilyia's (deeply lovable) own mind. It really is masterful writing.
And the dialogue is simply brilliant, so sparse, so authentic, so real. The author utilized the dialogue EVERY SINGLE TIME in this wonderful, heart-wrenching way where the most important parts were the things left unsaid, but RIGHT THERE between the lines. So deeply moving!
And their use of the biased narration is one of the best I've read (online and published by the way). It is almost unbearable and yet so deeply, deeply satisfying to be stuck in Ilya's head and simultanously being able to see beyond his biased perspective. I made me want to scream all the time, in the best way, and it twisted my heart. And because the author is so incredibly good at it, the slow burn emotional catharsis in the end was one of the best I've experienced.
I deeply appreciated the elaboration on what I think to be Ilya's life theme throughout the series - Am I worthy of having my own life? Am I allowed to have my own life? Will I ever allow myself to have my own life? Will I ever be safe enough to have my own life, to truly be myself while also being close to someone else?
I loved the methaphor of Ilya having his life nested inside Shanes - and I really felt his gut-wrenching desperation when he tried to make Shane unterstand
"I have a chance,” he says, pleading now. “I can have my own life.” He stumbles for the words. Nothing he says is enough. He wishes he could say it in Russian, in the fluid words that he knows could fix this, but he can’t. He trips over English and watches Hollander’s face shut down further into the blank disaffect that only comes when he’s truly upset.
I think in his family of origin, Ilya was only ever allowed to be close to someone else at the expense af being close to himself. And this story touches on this inner wound with such care and depth, so delicately, insightfully and profoundly moving.
He still has the fast car, the bright orange beast that Hollander hates. His life still revolves around the rhythms of the sport, but he is no longer turning cards that someone else has dealt. This is a life he built for himself with his own determination, not hidden away inside Hollander’s, but adjacent. They are linked rings, intertwined. Inextricable.
And last but not least, in the end the exactly the right amount of tension is left hanging in the air, that I have now spent weeks compulsively imagining and reimagining in a increasingly different and wonderful ways, how Ilya might allow himself, at some point, to have it all.
A deeply touching, masterfully written story.
-
Tags
Summary
Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.
Except, well. Then there are zombies.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 95,670
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 2,505
- Kudos:
- 7,877
- Bookmarks:
- 3,673
- Hits:
- 118,630
Bookmarked by wildwinter
18 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
One of my all time favourites across all fandoms.
I've read it three times already and it keeps getting better every time! The yearning while doing it, the masterful dialogue, so authentic, so real. The author really utilized the dialogue in this brilliant, heart wrenching way where the most important parts were the things left unsaid, but RIGHT THHERE between the lines. So deeply moving!
And their use of the unreliable narration with these two idiots in this is simply masterful. Their inner dialogue is SOOO incredibly well done and their specific voices feel so real, so deeply in character. This is exactly how these two would handle a zombie apocalypse :-) The implicit characterization of both of them is impeccable!
And because of this, the catharsis in the end is deeply, deeply satisfying.And in the end the exactly the right amount of tension is left hanging in the air, that I compulsively had to imagine and reimagine what would happen after.
Such a wonderful, evocative and deeply immersive reading experience.
-
Tags
Summary
Svetlana and Yuna meet at a dinner party, at a wedding, at a hotel.
Series
- Part 12 of perfect from now on
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,363
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 416
- Kudos:
- 1,223
- Bookmarks:
- 282
- Hits:
- 14,830
Bookmarked by wildwinter
18 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
There’s something about this anon's writing - in all the stories I’ve read in this anthology- the tone, the tempo, the cadence, the words that are said AND, more importantly , all the words that aren‘t said, that live between the lines - all that infuses this whole work with melancholy, a bit of dread, foreboding, so much longing - I felt a pit in my stomach practically the whole time and couldn‘t shake it for days afterwards. And this story especially does not leave me, it has been staying with me for such a long time now. I am so deeply moved and unsettled and also, strangely, consoled?
I will forever treasure this fic!
-
Tags
Summary
They’d wanted to escape the cage, but they’d been in that cage for a decade and they’d made a home of it. Out in the big wide world, they got homesick.
Series
- Part 10 of perfect from now on
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,910
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 335
- Kudos:
- 2,880
- Bookmarks:
- 523
- Hits:
- 25,078
Bookmarked by wildwinter
05 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Insanely and wonderfully hot and emotionally resonant
-
Tags
Summary
If Shane had had a good, close friend, a confidante, somebody he could talk to about whatever was happening between him and Ilya Rozanov, and that good close friend got it in their head that maybe Shane liked Ilya, had feelings for him, one of the first things Shane would say to refute it would be: but he smokes.
Shane, Ilya, cigarettes - a love triangle for the ages.
Series
- Part 7 of perfect from now on
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,678
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 578
- Kudos:
- 3,537
- Bookmarks:
- 805
- Hits:
- 34,628
Bookmarked by wildwinter
18 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
This one is, again, powerfully evocative and deeply moving.
There is this one scene in here, that refuses to leave me for months now, that I will cherish forever - Ilya feeling humiliated and purposefully yanking the emotional rug out from under Shanes feet - the way this author describes Ilyas ambivalent emotions in that moment, especially his vicarious embarassement for Shane's misplaced feeling of emotional safety - simply a masterful, masterful gut punch.
I deeply adore this writers capacity to write complex, ambivalent and dark emotions in this implicit, evocative way, where their Ilya is exactly dark enough for me to really feel the effects of his childhood trauma.