Chapter Text
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gymrat4:
had a good workout earlier. here’s a selfie.
#i’m tired #gonna go to bed and wake up sore tomorrow #marvelous #face
0 notes
Iwaizumi shut his laptop, grabbed some fresh clothes on the way to the bathroom and headed straight to the shower.
When he was finished he checked his phone for messages. He’s not sure why he does, he never gets any notes. He shouldn’t even care? But yet he’s placing his phone down on the counter a little harsher than usual. Wouldn’t be surprised if it just broke.
He’s not disappointed at all, shut up.
Just as he’s about to leave the bathroom his phone buzzes against the surface of the counter, almost scaring the absolute shit out of him. Well he needs to plug it in soon, it was about to die anyway.
He presses the button to check the percentage and sees that he’s got two notes.
What?
Hastily, he unlocks his phone to check them.
cosmicprince liked your photo: had a good workout…
cosmicprince reblogged your photo: had a good workout…
|@youlikejazz @getshrekt loOK ( ♡∀♡)
He places his phone down and covers his reddening face with his hand, not sure who he’s shielding it from. Probably from his own reflection in the mirror that’s no longer foggy.
It’s this person again. They’ve been going through his face tag for days now, liking and reblogging every single photo and showing it to the two people they just mentioned. And they’re just as bad as cosmicprince.
His phone buzzes again.
outerspaceho reblogged your photo: had a good workout…
|THIS BELONGS HERE TOO
youlikejazz liked your photo: had a good workout…
youlikejazz reblogged your photo: had a good workout…
|NOW THAT’S 100% PREMIUM BEEF, YUMMMM
getshrekt liked your photo: had a good workout…
getshrekt reblogged your photo: had a good workout…
|*licks screen*
Jesus Christ. No, they’re definitely worse.
Iwaizumi tosses his phone in a drawer to let it die and plops face down onto his bed, ready to sleep for the rest of the night. If his face would ever cool down.
~*~
The next day after coming home from volleyball practice, he scrolled through his phone for emails from his professors and saw that he had new notes.
He audibly swallows and opens the app, ready to see more weird comments.
Thankfully there aren’t any, but he does have four new asks. Holy shit. But then again…
Probably stupid porn bots again, he thinks, rolling his eyes as he goes into his inbox.
Nope, there isn’t a single porn bot in sight, no perverted URLs anywhere. Except for four anon asks that read:
Anonymous asked: holy shit ur so hot??? its not fair!!!! (♡´❍`♡)*✧ ✰ ｡*
He can easily guess who sent that. But he doesn’t bothering making any stupid assumptions until he reads the other two.
Anonymous asked: choke me with your hot bara arms
Anonymous asked: daddy~
Iwaizumi groans.
Anonymous asked: are you an actual god? bc hot diggity damn boi
He flushes at the last message. He shoves his phone into his bag and ignores his inbox for the rest of the day.
But he doesn’t delete them.
~*~
Anonymous asked: daddy pls wrap those bara arms around my neck I’m beggign
Anonymous asked: daddy~~~~~~~
Anonymous asked: I want to lick u
gymrat4:
@ the weirdos sending me those asks. STOP.
#its fuckign weird #stop harassing me #AND STOP CALLING ME DADDY #text
2 notes
youlikejazz liked this
getshrekt liked this
cosmicprince asked: ur so good looking tho?? lik e i cant deal w it (♥ω♥*)
cosmicprince asked: WAIT SHIT THT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON ANOn
getshrekt asked: choke me with your bara arms daddy
youlikejazz asked: daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy
gymrat4:
@cosmicprince @youlikejazz @getshrekt I’M GOING TO BLOCK ALL OF YOUR ASSES
#STOP YOUR SHIT #text
5 notes
cosmicprince said: pLEASE iwa-chan!! dont do it!!!
youlikejazz liked this
youlikejazz said: try me bitch
getshrekt liked this
getshrekt said: lmao
Ugh. They can just tell that it’s such an empty threat. He could just go ahead and block all of them. But if he’s gonna be honest right now, even though all of this irritates him like nothing else, it’s kind of entertaining at the same time. They’re fucking idiots, but this is the most fun he’s had on this blue hell site since he joined a year ago.
gymrat4:
cosmicprince replied to your post: @cosmicprince @youlikejazz @getshrekt…
|pLEASE iwachan!! dont do it!!!
and where do YOU get off adding a “-chan” to my name??
#what the fuck #reply
youlikejazz said: yeah oikawa that’s nasty asf
cosmicprince said: SHUT UP MAKKI
getshrekt asked: gymrat, sweetie. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that a ugly ass bitch like this would even say that, oh my god.
I actually fucking snorted at this stupid meme
#i hate myself #answered
5 notes
youlikejazz said: THE BARA GOD KNOWS HIS MEMES
youlikejazz said: WE NEED TO INVITE HIM TO THE GROUP CHAT MATSU
getshrekt said: ^^^^^^
cosmicprince said: YES!!!!!!!!
cosmicprince said: WHO R U CALLING UGLY MATTSU N
A group chat? Where he has to read the shit that three of these morons would send him all day?
No way. No.
No.
Fuck.
Maybe… maybe he does?
What is he thinking? He doesn’t even know them. He’s not gonna just open up tumblr messenger and ask about them. He’s not like them.
Iwaizumi glances at the notes and clicks the link to -- Oikawa? -- Oikawa’s page, cosmicprince.
cosmicprince.tumblr.com
☆*:. o( ≧ ▽≦)o .:* ☆
He’s already squinting at the overly done pastel background and header. Even the title has some pompous ass emoji.
Hello!!! (*＾▽＾)／ Oikawa || 21 || Tokyo ||
Space Prince (◡‿◡✿) || Future Olympic Volleyball Player ||
Space side blog: outerspaceho
Oikawa lives in Tokyo too? And he plays volleyball? Huh. Maybe he does have something in common with one of these idiots.
He continues his search through ‘Matsu’s’ and ‘Makki’s’ pages. But he feels terrified at first because they’re both filled with Shrek, The Bee Movie and other shitty memes; he ignores the horrendous headers to read their descriptions.
They also say that they’re volleyball players -- well were -- and they too live in Miyagi.
“Small world,” Iwaizumi mumbles to himself as he goes through the tags.
They also say that they make their own content. He filters through the shitposts and finds actually decent art and fics. He even reads some of them (he doesn’t even glance back at the godawful crack fics) and looks at the art, reblogging the good pieces to his main. (He feels scarred for life looking through their joke furry art.)
After an hour of arguing with himself, he finally opens tumblr messenger and sends Matsu a message.
gymrat4
fine.
gymrat4
I’ll join your group chat.
getshrekt
good decision my good man
getshrekt
skype name is therarestpepe
He’s so going to regret this.
What is he getting himself into?
~*~
Wednesday, May 15, 2017
Iwaizumi would like to add you on Skype
it’s gymrat4
20:39
Iwaizumi: hey
therarestpepe: heyyy whats up my guy
Iwaizumi: nm
therarestpepe: same jc
therarestpepe: gonna add you to the group chat now
Iwaizumi: god
Iwaizumi: okay
therarestpepe: lmao you sound excited
Iwaizumi: i’m shitting myself in excitement
therarestpepe: hot
therarestpepe: jk jk
therarestpepe: anyway i’ll add you
April 15, 2017
20:46
therarestpepe added Iwaizumi
You have been added to the conversation tumblr squad ☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆
therarestpepe: yo he’s here noe
therarestpepe: now
tooruwu: and u tell me off abt my speeling
tooruwu: *about
therarestpepe: *you *spelling
tooruwu: shut UP MATTSNU
tooruwu: MATTSUN
tooruwu: hA BEAT U TO IT
tooruwu: ಠ益ಠ)
therarestpepe: what a proud moment for you
therarestpepe: i wish hana was here to see our son finally growing up
tooruwu: im older than u
tooruwu: eyebrows
therarestpepe: brat
tooruwu: eyEBRWOS
tooruwu: EYEBROWS
therarestpepe: BRAT
Iwaizumi: should I leave
Iwaizumi: or do I have to keep watching this sad display of insults
tooruwu: iwachan!!! (*＾▽＾)／
Iwaizumi: hey
Iwaizumi: Oikawa right?
tooruwu: yeah (^∇^)
Iwaizumi: okay good
Iwaizumi: also I didn’t know you played volleyball, that’s cool
tooruwu: yeah!!
tooruwu: im hoping i get to go to the Olympics :D
Iwaizumi: what position do you play?
tooruwu: setter~~~
Iwaizumi: oh nice
Iwaizumi: I’m a wing spiker at my school
tooruwu: !!!!!!
tooruwu: we should meet up and practice one day!!!! Σ(゜ロ゜;)
Iwaizumi: maybe yeah
Iwaizumi: Mattsun what about you
therarestpepe: oh you can just call me pepe~
Iwaizumi: I’d rather cut off m fingers~
Iwaizumi: my
therarestpepe: my secondary name is Matsu~~
Iwaizumi: okay
Iwaizumi: do you and Makki still play volleyball?
therarestpepe: ohhh yeah we used to
therarestpepe: actually me and oikawa played on the same high school team? back in miyagi
tooruwu: ugh u and makki were so annoying
tooruwu: annoying
tooruwu: sigh
therarestpepe: speaking of which where is he??
tooruwu: ugh he said he had to go take a dhit
tooruwu: shti
tooruwu: shit
tooruwu: fuk
therarestpepe: a shit fuk
therarestpepe: sexy
Iwaizumi: of course you’d get turned on by that
tooruwu: waht????
therarestpepe: *what
tooruwu: mattsun
Iwaizumi: I told him I was shitting myself with excitement earlier about this chat and he said
Iwaizumi: >therarestpepe, 20:45
“hot”
tooruwu: mattsun what the fuck
therarestpepe: ;p
tooruwu: ..
tooruwu: ,,im fuckign kinkshaming
Iwaizumi: same
tooruwu: two against one u nasty
therarestpepe: ohohoho double team
therarestpepe: actually nah i’d rather have just iwa instead
Iwaizumi: ;ppp
tooruwu: rUDE
barrybbenson: yall i’m back
barrybbenson: mattsun what the fcuck
barrybbenson: u kinky shit
Iwaizumi: hey
Iwaizumi: how was your shit
barrybbenson: ayyyy it’s our local bara god
barrybbenson: it was fine but my legs are asleep rip
therarestpepe: our lord and savior
barrybbenson: aw thank u matsu bby
therarestpepe: I meant Iwa you self centered shit
barrybbenson: i thought that was oikawa
tooruwu’s nickname is now self-centered shit.
self-centered shit: (ﾒﾟ皿ﾟ)
self-centered shit: also ^^^^^
Iwaizumi: good to know
Iwaizumi: at Makki’s good shit I mean
barrybbenson: als o
barrybbenson: who the fuck named this chat
self-centered shit: m eeeeee
barrybbenson has renamed this conversation to “three memes and a god”.
Iwaizumi’s nickname is now our lord and savior.
barrybbenson: much better
therarestpepe: mmm yeah it is
self-centered shit: DONT INVOLVE ME IN UR SHITTY MEMES
our lord and savior: seriously
self-centered shit: u deserve it
our lord and savior: anyway listen
our lord and savior: I still know nothing about any of you
our lord and savior: how do i know you all are not old men creeping and hitting on guys like me
barrybbenson: *YAINT
self-centered shit: oh for god sakes
our lord and savior: Makki I’m being serious
barrybbenson: sorry sorry
barrybbenson: habit tbh
therarestpepe: anyway
therarestpepe: we can send pics Iwa
our lord and savior: yeah but how would I know you didn’t fuckign google them
therarestpepe: fair enough
self-centered shit: shall i go first iwachan?? :D
our lord and savior: no you already have enough selfies on your page
therarestpepe: OH so you’ve already been on our pages
our lord and savior: plus when I look up ‘gaudy douchebag’ on google none of your pics show up
self-centered shit: thats good tho right???
barrybbenson: *though
our lord and savior: unfortunately
self-centered shit: ;^;
self-centered shit: at least u know im not fake
self-centered shit: AND SHUT UP MAKKI !!! OMG
therarestpepe: here Iwa http:\\getshrekt.tumblr.com/tagged/shrek-daddy my selfie tag
our lord and savior: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t read that last part
barrybbenson: here’s my beautiful face uwu http:\\youlikejazz.tumblr.com/tagged/me
our lord and savior: I appreciate you having a tag that doesn’t make me want to bleach my eyes
23:46
our lord and savior: holy shit
our lord and savior: you guys actually look really good
our lord and savior: sorry for sounding weird but it’s true?
therarestpepe: trust me we look like fucking gremlins compared to you
therarestpepe: even hana’s nephew said he was fucking ugly lmfao
self-centered shit: HAHAHAHA I RMEMBER THAT
therarestpepe: *remember
self-centered shit: mattsun i swear to god
self-centered shit: ANYWAY
self-centered shit: MAKKI PLS TELL IWACHAN WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY W HIM
barrybbenson: god fuck ok
barrybbenson: ok so like i was babysitting my nephew right
barrybbenson: and i shit you not he actually asked me why i was so ugly
barrybbenson: i told him i was him from the future
barrybbenson: anD HE STARTED CRYING FOR LIKE AN HOUR
our lord and savior: oh my god????
self-centered shit: HAHAHAHAHHAAAHA
self-centered shit: U SAVAGE
barrybbenson: thank u i try my best
barrybbenson: jessu Christ what tim ei sit
therarestpepe: are you drunk or tired
barrybbenson: yes
barrybbenson: wait shut up n o
self-centered shit: ughhh its late who cares tho
therarestpepe: oikawa you better not stay up again
self-centered shit: but i have so much hw to dooooooo
therarestpepe: i don’t care go to bed
self-centered shit: finE
self-centered shit: but if i fail my classes
self-centered shit: get kicked off the vb team
self-centered shit: expelled from university
barrybbenson: ok
self-centered shit: become homelss
self-centered shit: and die
self-centered shit: iTLL BE ALL UR FAULT MATTSUN
our lord and savior: or I could just tell you to go to bed or I’ll come over there and kick your ass
self-centered shit: hahah a nice try iwachan
self-centered shit: u dont even know where i live
therarestpepe: okay Iwa here’s where he lives
self-centered shit: NO
self-centered shit: OK OK OK
self-centered shit: ILL GO OMG
therarestpepe: good night tooru-chan
self-centered shit: fuck off mattsun
therarestpepe: love u too
our lord and savior: yeah I should go to bed too
our lord and savior: I have volleyball practice tomorrow and my captain doesn’t like people coming in late
therarestpepe: i’ll fight your captain
our lord and savior: he could fucking bench press you
therarestpepe: actually nvm
therarestpepe: anyway
therarestpepe: i think hana fell asleep again
our lord and savior: okay
our lord and savior: night
therarestpepe: gnite
April 16, 2017
00: 14
self-centered shit: …tbh tho
self-centered shit: i wouldnt mind if iwachan bench pressed me
our lord and savior: Oikawa, go to bed.
self-centered shit: iwachan
self-centered shit: are u my mom??
our lord and savior: …excuse me?
self-centered shit: notHING
self-centered shit: ILL GO
self-centered shit: I PROMISE
our lord and savior: just go to bed
self-centered shit: OK
our lord and savior: crappy oikawa
our lord and savior: if you come back on here again I’ll kick your ass shittykawa.
self-centered shit: dONT SHORTEN THE INSULTS
our lord and savior: fine then,
our lord and savior: shitty oikawa
self-centered shit: OMG U DONT HAVE TO REPHRASE IT??