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Tatsuya woke up because someone was holding his nose shut. He blinked his eyes open and snorted, and Shige laughed in his face. Tatsuya struggled for a moment and then sighed; he usually dealt with Shige by chasing him around and hitting him, but Tatsuya's arms and legs were pinned. He needed caffeine before he could think of a way out of this situation.
"Tatsu-bon," Shige said. "There's a puppy on your floor."
"Holmes isn't a puppy," Tatsuya said. His voice was scratchy from sleep. At the foot of his bed, Holmes whined and thumped his tail. Holmes was an old man in dog years, and besides, he wasn't on the floor.
"Doesn't the puppy have his own bed?" Shige asked.
"I'm taller than you are, Shige-san," Kazamatsuri said from the floor.
"Lies!" Shige shouted, flinging himself off the bed and onto Kazamatsuri, his pink hair flying. Last week it had been green. Blue the entire month before that.
Kazamatsuri giggled and then said, "Aah, no! No!" The futon Kazamatsuri had been sleeping on flipped in the air and then smacked against Tatsuya's dresser. A soccer ball fell from the dresser and bounced across the room. Something crashed.
Tatsuya turned on his side and pushed his face in his pillow, closing his eyes to the mayhem. "Kazamatsuri has been taller than you since last year, Shige."
"I reject that reality!" Shige said. "He'll always be a puppy to me!"
Tatsuya opened his eyes a slit. Shige had Kazamatsuri in a headlock. Kazamatsuri's dark hair stuck up every which way like a baby snow monkey's, and he had a pink pillow crease on his cheek, but he was smiling.
"Woof," Kazamatsuri conceded. "You win."
Shige stood up and stretched ostentatiously, yawning and patting his belly. "Hmm. What's for breakfast?"
Shige wandered out of Tatsuya's bedroom. Kazamatsuri said, "Oh! Sorry for the mess, Mizuno-kun."
Kazamatsuri leapt to his feet and began cleaning in the wake of hurricane Shige. Tatsuya grabbed his sleeve when he got within arm's length of the bed.
"Shou," Tatsuya said. "What time is it?"
"We don't have to leave for another hour, you know," Kazamatsuri said, looking down at him. Kazamatsuri's hair shifted and slanted across one eye.
"Damn it, Shige," Tatsuya said, flopping onto his pillow and letting go of Kazamatsuri's shirt.
Kazamatsuri smiled. "You can go back to sleep."
Trusting Kazamatsuri to wake him in time for school, Tatsuya mumbled, "Okay," and closed his eyes.
When Kazamatsuri shook him awake, Tatsuya struggled into his uniform, grabbing a slice of toast and some tepid miso soup for breakfast as Shige and Kazamatsuri hustled him out the door to the train station. No matter what he'd told Shige earlier that morning, Tatsuya couldn't see the top of Kazamatsuri's head and he still wasn't used to it.
But ever since Tatsuya had met Kazamatsuri, his life had become a series of surreal moments laced with shockingly vivid sweat and grass stains and slide tackles. Kazamatsuri had turned Tatsuya's life upside-down and set their soccer careers in motion at high-speed. It was amazing, and Tatsuya really wouldn't have it any other way.
Although if he were to change anything, it would probably be high school.
"Tatsu-bon, your fan club is waiting," Shige said, his voice an irritating sing-song. Tatsuya clenched his jaw and tried not to blush. It wasn't a fan club, just a few pretty, nice girls who made Tatsuya feel like running until his muscles shook and his legs collapsed.
Tatsuya said hello when the girls said hello, thanked them when they wished him luck at his game tomorrow, sat at his desk and took notes, had lunch with the other soccer players who went to his high school, and once classes were over, fled to team practice. Coach had them run laps and do a few drills to keep them limber, and then sent them home to finish packing after only half an hour.
Kazamatsuri didn't go to the locker room with the others, and Tatsuya lingered behind, watching him stare at the practice field with a furrowed brow and a determined glint in his eye. Tatsuya was glad; he felt in need of a challenge tonight.
"If you're going to practice more," Tatsuya said, "I could join you."
Startled, Kazamatsuri turned sharply, and then nodded. "Oh! Yes, thank you, Mizuno-kun."
They got their bags from the locker room and then headed to the canal out of habit, although no one would complain if they used the practice field after hours. The air was cool; it felt good against Tatsuya's face. Later, when the sun set, the air would be a sharp, quick bite at his skin, like the taste of sake Shige had slipped him after the first time their team had qualified for the All Japan High School Tournament. It had made Tatsuya sneeze.
"Are you working on any moves in particular?" Tatsuya asked. Kazamatsuri wasn't their secret weapon anymore; he hadn't been since their first season on the Tokyo Select team, but that didn't make him any less dangerous on the field.
"Hmm?" Kazamatsuri said. Tatsuya chuckled and repeated his question. Listening this time rather than drifting off into space, Kazamatsuri shook his head and said, "No, it's just that we're all warmed up and it seems like such a waste."
The tires in Kazamatsuri's old practice space were dusty and cracked, small like toys. Tatsuya and Kazamatsuri dropped their duffel bags on the grass. Kazamatsuri pulled out a soccer ball and lifted it for a moment before kicking it to Tatsuya.
"One on one?" Tatsuya asked.
"Dribble past the enemy," Kazamatsuri agreed with a 'come and get me' wave of his fingers.
Tatsuya didn't hold back with Kazamatsuri anymore when they played; he had to go all out or sit on the sidelines, and Tatsuya hated sitting out a game almost as much as Kazamatsuri. Tatsuya feinted left, but Kazamatsuri didn't fall for it. Tatsuya twisted his body, got Kazamatsuri's elbow to his ribs and knee to his thigh. The nylon of their tracksuits made a zipping noise as Tatsuya broke free and dodged Kazamatsuri, kicking the ball between the tires for a goal. Kazamatsuri chased after the ball and brought it back, then dashed around Tatsuya to score a goal of his own, lightning fast. They played one on one like that until sweat dripped down Tatsuya's face and he could feel his heartbeat in his throat, panting plumes into the cold night air. They were tied and struggling for control of the ball when a noise broke Kazamatsuri's concentration. He stepped back and jogged to his duffel bag, opening one of the zip pockets and pulling out his cell phone. A tiny soccer ball charm dangled from the phone strap.
"Hello," Kazamatsuri said. "Brother! Sorry, sorry -- I lost track of time. Yes, I'm coming. Bye!" Kazamatsuri shoved the cell phone in his pocket and turned back, an apologetic smile on his face. "I promised I would have dinner with Kou-nii before we go."
Tatsuya squinted at the sky. The stars were coming out. "We probably shouldn't stay up all night practicing like we did last night."
Kazamatsuri picked up his duffel and hauled the strap over his head, the bag banging at his hip. "Thank you for letting me stay last night, Mizuno-kun."
"You were falling asleep on your feet. I was afraid you wouldn't make it home," Tatsuya said, kicking the soccer ball to Kazamatsuri.
"See you in the morning," Kazamatsuri said. He grinned over his shoulder as he jogged away. "Don't be late, Captain!"
Tatsuya rolled his eyes and followed Kazamatsuri up the canal bank.
The next day, Tatsuya was up, showered, dressed, packed, and ready to go by five o'clock in the morning. Tatsuya ate breakfast, wrote his mother a note reminding her of when their flight got in, and left for the meeting place where the team would take a bus to the airport. He was the first one there, but then Fujishiro arrived a few minutes later, and then Shiina and Mamiya, and then Kazamatsuri with Shige riding piggyback and shouting about friendly giants even though Kazamatsuri only had a centimeter or two of height on him.
"Don't step on the mouse!" Shige cautioned, smiling gleefully over Kazamatsuri's shoulder.
Shiina glared up at them both, his arms crossed.
"Sorry, Tsubasa," Kazamatsuri said. He dropped Shige without warning, and Shige squawked, but Kazamatsuri caught him again before he fell too far. Shige thumped Kazamatsuri on the shoulder and disentangled himself, complaining about nonexistent injuries as the rest of their team arrived.
Once everyone was there, Coach herded them onto the bus. The airport was as big and loud as ever. Tickets and passports at the ready, the team passed through security, bracing each other as they all put their sneakers back on and rescued their bags from the x-ray machines. They took over the seating at their gate, laughing and talking, a sprawl of long-legged boys in matching uniforms. The flight was short, less than three hours; Tatsuya listened to music on his iPod, and beside him, Kazamatsuri read three issues of World Soccer magazine from cover to cover. Once they arrived at Incheon International and cleared customs, they were herded on yet another bus and taken directly to the stadium.
Tatsuya's shoulders were tight and he felt cramped from sitting for so long, and he was glad when Coach gave them the go-ahead to warm up. There were steady streams of people entering the stadium, almost all of them dressed in red and carrying flags of blue, red, and black. Having such a huge, hostile audience watching his every move had terrified Tatsuya the first time he'd played in this stadium. It had terrified him the second time, too, and the third. He was ready for the fear this time and didn't let it overwhelm him.
Once the whistle blew, Tatsuya pulled back, focused all his attention on his team, on the field, on Kazamatsuri's fierce grin and Shige's wild acrobatics. He dribbled, passed, took a hit to his right shin that was going to bruise a lurid purple under the guard, broke through the opposition's defense, shouted instructions to his backfield, and sent the soccer ball forward to Kazamatsuri and Shige and Fujishiro again and again, and watched them make one impossible goal after another. Half-time was a blur of adrenaline, wiping sweat from his face with a scratchy towel, changing his cleats, and advice from Coach Matsushita, "...keep your eye on number 18; he's tricked you into two fouls already. I want you to mark him, Mamiya-kun."
When the referee blew the final whistle, the score was 4-3, the deciding goal scored with a spectacular bicycle kick from Shige to Kazamatsuri, who sent it into the net from a zero angle. Tatsuya was mobbed by his roaring teammates and he went down, the grass cold and wet on his back where his jersey rode up, someone's fingers clenched on his collar. Shige got in his face and shouted, "GOOOOOOOAAAAL!" Tatsuya laughed and pushed Shige away with a palm to his forehead.
Eventually his team relented and hauled Tatsuya to his feet so they could shake hands with the other team, shower, and get on with celebrating their victory. Tatsuya's body felt heavy with fatigue and his face hurt from smiling; he liked listening to the post-game chatter in the locker room and on the bus on the way to the hotel.
Tatsuya and Kazamatsuri were sharing a double, and they barely had time to put down their bags before Shige poked his head through the connecting door of their hotel room. "Tonight, we party!"
"All right," Tatsuya said. Coach Matsushita let them do as they liked after a game, so long as they kept things down to a dull roar, nobody got hurt, and the police didn't bother him while he was watching his J-dramas. "Behave," Coach had warned them, "because I have the capacity to make your lives very interesting if you don't."
"Yes!" Shige said, disappearing back into his room. Tatsuya could hear Shige's voice echoing down the hallway as instructed the rest of the team to put on their party clothes.
Kazamatsuri laughed, wiggled out of his shirt, and dug around in his bag, his shoulders pale and broad, a scattering of dark freckles near his neck. Tatsuya turned away and unzipped his own bags. He changed into jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, making sure his sweaty, dirty uniform was in one of the outside pockets so the rest of his clothes wouldn't reek. Kazamatsuri wore a blue sweater that looked soft to the touch; the color did something to his eyes that made it difficult for Tatsuya to look away.
"Let's go, Tatsu-bon," Shige said, strolling into their room and striking a pose. He was wearing so many clashing colors that Tatsuya's eyes watered.
"Where are we going?" Kazamatsuri asked.
"First, food," Shige said. "Then dancing. Kaku's cousin knows a place."
Tatsuya's stomach growled, but the idea of dancing made him dubious enough to think about staying at the hotel. Tatsuya didn't like doing things he wasn't good at, and dancing was one of them, but he let the team drag him out anyway. They ate dinner at a strange restaurant that claimed to serve Italian food and listed kimchi pizza as an option on the menu. Tatsuya almost wished that Narumi was still on the team so that they could make him eat it, although as team captain he probably wasn't meant to condone such things.
The club Shige led them to was big and dark, strobe lights flashing and the music so loud that it pressed on Tatsuya's ears. He could feel the bass beat thumping in his chest, and it made him breathless. The team scattered almost in formation but for Tatsuya, who lingered by the door as long as possible. There was a DJ booth and a bar at the back, but most of the people inside were teenagers. Tatsuya wedged himself into a dark corner and tried not to be too obvious about checking his watch. After fifteen interminable minutes, a pretty girl whose hair was bobbed and streaked with purple approached Tatsuya. He leaned down when she put her hand on his arm, but he couldn't understand what she was saying and shook his head in confusion.
"My name is Yoo Joo," she tried again, this time in English. Yoo Joo raised her eyebrows expectantly.
"Oh! I'm Mizuno Tatsuya." And because he couldn't think of anything else to say, he said, "It's nice to meet you?"
"Would you like to dance, Mizuno Tatsuya?" Yoo Joo asked.
"Uh," Tatsuya said. Yoo Joo smiled, tilting her head back and squeezing his arm, and Tatsuya just panicked. "Sorry, excuse me."
He bowed a little and pushed through the crowd, feeling hot and claustrophobic and searching desperately for the bathroom. When he finally found it, it wasn't as dirty as he expected, although the track lighting flickered enough that Tatsuya expected some clawed monster to climb out of the warped mirror and eat him. He splashed water on his face and peered at his reflection. He looked pale, eyelashes wet and spiky, and maybe a little green like he was going to throw up.
Tatsuya didn't know what was wrong with him.
He dried his face with his T-shirt and made himself go back into the crowded club. Tatsuya couldn't leave without telling one of his teammates; it was one of their rules, after the one away game where they'd lost Koiwa for six hours, although he'd just been out buying pocky and chatting up girls.
Shige's hair made him the easiest to find. Tatsuya tapped him on the shoulder and leaned close to shout in Shige's ear. "I'm leaving!"
"What?" Shige said.
"I'm going back to the hotel," Tatsuya said. "I have homework."
Shige made an elaborate noise of disgust. "Lame, Tatsu-bon. Lame."
Tatsuya shifted uncomfortably. "It's true!"
"But look at all these girls!" Shige said, spreading his arms wide and gesturing at the dance floor.
"Whatever," Tatsuya said.
Shige gave him a sly look out of the corner of his eye. "Well, well. I guess I'll have to dance with enough girls for both of us, Tatsu-bon."
"Have fun," Tatsuya said, rolling his eyes. He turned away and made it less than a meter before someone called his name and tugged on his shirt.
"Mizuno-kun," Kazamatsuri said. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright. "Where are you going?"
Tatsuya swallowed hard. "I don't feel well. I'm going back to the hotel."
"Oh," Kazamatsuri said. He cocked his head. "I'll go with you. Hey, Shige-san!" Kazamatsuri knocked his fist on Shige's shoulder. "We're leaving."
Shige waved at them absently and went back to dancing with a pretty girl in a shockingly orange dress.
"Let's go," Kazamatsuri said, and pushed his way through the crowd. Tatsuya followed him to the coat check, and as soon as they were out the door, he felt like he could breathe again.
"You didn't have to leave," Tatsuya said after a moment. "You looked like you were having fun."
Kazamatsuri shrugged and shoved his hands in his coat pockets. They got a little lost trying to find the right subway line, but they were back at the hotel in less than an hour. It was almost ridiculously early, but Tatsuya took his pajamas to the bathroom to change and brush his teeth. When he came out of the bathroom, Tatsuya saw that Kazamatsuri was in his pajamas, too, and had a portable DVD player on his lap.
"I came prepared," Kazamatsuri said. He held up a stack of DVDs with titles like World's Greatest Goals, Manchester United, and a bunch of FIFA World Cup final games. Kazamatsuri patted the bed and Tatsuya sat next to him. Kazamatsuri put the DVD player between them and stuffed a pillow behind his back. He started a DVD, but Tatsuya wasn't really paying attention to the tiny screen. He felt as though he might throw up again, but it wasn't bad like at the club before, just something warm and tingly and weird making his stomach lift like a soccer ball.
"Can I ask you something, Shou?" Tatsuya blurted.
Kazamatsuri blinked at him and then reached out to pause the DVD. "Of course you can, Mizuno-kun."
Tatsuya's tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as if it were made of natto. "I..."
"Are you all right?" Kazamatsuri asked, a worried line appearing between his eyebrows.
"Do you like girls?" Tatsuya asked in a rush, his words tripping over each other like a clumsy defense.
Kazamatsuri blinked again, his eyes huge in his face. "What?"
Tatsuya made a frustrated noise. He didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, which was that he was just as disinterested in girls as he had been in middle school, and how that couldn't be normal, so he repeated, "Do you like girls?"
"I've never really thought about it," Kazamatsuri answered.
"What do you mean?" Tatsuya asked.
Kazamatsuri scratched his head. "Well, in middle school I was working so hard to improve that I didn't really have time for anything but school and soccer. Then we made the Tokyo Select team and I had to work even harder. And then I grew," Kazamatsuri said with a little laugh, "And I had to learn how to play all over again."
Tatsuya didn't know how to deal with problems any other way than confronting them head-on with the kind of bullheaded determination that his mother said was the Kirihara in him, through and through. He found himself asking, "Do you want to kiss them? Girls?"
Kazamatsuri flushed and he stuttered out, "What?"
"I don't," Tatsuya said urgently. "I don't."
"Mizuno-kun --"
Tatsuya shifted on the bed until he was kneeling, and leaned forward. He needed to do this. He needed to know. "I want to -- can I please? Just let me..."
Kazamatsuri stared at him, eyes wide, but he didn't move away. "Anything. Anything I can do to help."
And Tatsuya knew he should feel bad, that asking him to do this would be taking advantage of Kazamatsuri's good nature, but Kazamatsuri was the only person Tatsuya could ask and remain confident that this wouldn't ruin everything: the team, their friendship, Tatsuya's life as he knew it.
Before he could let fear and good sense overrule him, Tatsuya pushed forward and pressed his mouth to Kazamatsuri's. Kazamatsuri stiffened reflexively but relaxed when Tatsuya tried it again. It was nice, warm, and it felt good. Tatsuya tried to think of what he'd seen on television and in movies; he let his mouth fall open a little and licked at Kazamatsuri's lips.
Kazamatsuri gasped and jerked back, touching his mouth with his fingertips.
Tatsuya felt his entire body sag, like when an elevator stopped too quickly at a floor. "I'm sorry."
Kazamatsuri grabbed at Tatsuya's T-shirt. "Do that again."
Tatsuya kissed him again, and Kazamatsuri opened his mouth eagerly, kissing Tatsuya back with enthusiasm. Kazamatsuri licked at Tatsuya's lips and then pushed his tongue inside Tatsuya's mouth. Tatsuya's entire body went hot in a flash, and he wondered if Kazamatsuri had been practicing this, too, because it felt so good. Kazamatsuri pressed his palm to Tatsuya's neck. Tatsuya groaned. He could feel his throat vibrating against Kazamatsuri's hand.
They kissed and kissed until Tatsuya's lips were slippery and hot and a little sore, until they were both breathing fast, until Tatsuya was hard in his pajama pants.
"Shou," Tatsuya said. He pushed his face against Kazamatsuri's neck and stayed there until his breathing slowed, and Kazamatsuri wrapped his arm around Tatsuya's shoulders and held him there.
"Um," Kazamatsuri said finally. "That was unexpected."
And that just set Tatsuya off. He started giggling uncontrollably, and then Kazamatsuri did too, until they were both rolling around on the bed and gasping with laughter. They managed to stop once, but then Tatsuya looked at Kazamatsuri's red mouth and messy hair, and was laughing again. Tatsuya's abs were sore and his face hurt by the time he managed to get control of himself again.
Kazamatsuri smiled at him, his eyes bright. "Unexpected, but good."
"Yes," Tatsuya agreed firmly.
Kazamatsuri licked his lips, and Tatsuya's stomach did a slow back flip. "We could finish watching the DVD."
"Okay," Tatsuya said.
Kazamatsuri scooted closer and slid his arm behind Tatsuya's shoulders again, balancing the DVD player on both of their thighs. Tatsuya rested his head on Kazamatsuri's shoulder, and for the first time, he didn't worry about paying attention to the game. Life didn't have a rewind button, and he could always borrow the DVD from Kazamatsuri later.