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The sound of hesitant footsteps wouldn't have been audible if Sirius wasn't already awake. As it was, he probably wouldn't have heard them if he hadn't been waiting for them in the first place. He lay on his back, staring at the bed's canopy, waiting.
Soon enough, the curtains around his bed were drawn. The figure who had pulled them said nothing, standing motionless in the near darkness. It wasn't until Sirius muttered a sleepy, "Well, come on then", that Remus moved again, crawling into bed and quickly closing the curtains.
The two boys lay side by side, saying nothing. Remus' old, scraggly jumper itched Sirius' bare arm as he fidgeted into a more comfortable position.
They'd been sharing a bed on and off since last month's moon. They'd shared before, of course, over vacations at the Potter's or when they'd stayed up too late talking and fallen asleep in whoever's bed they'd been perched on. It was normally a matter of convenience, not comfort. But the last moon had been particularly rough. He'd woken when he heard Remus stumble into the dorm, making noise in the way only someone failing at being quiet can. Madame Pomfrey had done what she could to heal his wounds, but red irritated skin and bruises remained on his face and arms. It hadn't been his injuries that worried Sirius, though, but his face. Remus looked crumpled and worn. There was a hopelessness in his eyes and in the set of his mouth as he and Sirius stared at one another across the dorm.
Sirius had squinted and roughly whispered, "Do you want to come over here?"
Remus had tilted his head.
"What?"
"Do you want to...?" Sirius had gestured at his bedside with one hand, rubbing his eyes with the other. Remus had limped away from his bed to the other's, and sat down.
"Do you need something?"
"No, course not, just thought you might want to hang out. I could get out my board, or the map?"
Remus had shaken his head, wincing.
"I think I ought to sleep, instead. Thanks."
Sirius caught his arm as he went to stand.
"You could, ah, sleep here? If you wanted?"
That had seemed to startle Remus, who laughed, sitting back down. Sirius had tried to explain,
"Not that you need a bed buddy, or anything. Just- it can be nice to sleep next to someone, you know, when things aren't great?"
Remus had laughed again and given Sirius a strange look. But he had laid down, muttering "Budge up, will you." when Sirius was too slow to move his sprawled limbs. They had fallen asleep, and Remus had left the bed in the morning before the other gryfs could see them and make it a joke.
Sirius himself almost forgot about the encounter, until Remus had shown up at his bedside a few days later. He had stood there awkwardly for a good few minutes until Sirius had given him a quiet, "...Yes?"
"Is it alright if I just, go ahead and..." This time, Remus was the one gesturing weakly.
Sirius had laughed and turned on his side, waving a hand behind him. "Yeah, whatever you want Moony. Don't interrupt my beauty sleep."
Remus had quietly slid next to him.
Those two nights became four, then eight, and then it seemed that Remus was pulling aside Sirius' curtains nearly every night. Sirius wouldn't have minded, really, if they had talked about it. But Remus woke up before Sirius and moved to his own bed every morning, and had brushed off any attempts Sirius made at talking about it with a "What?" or a "Leave it alone, Padfoot." It was driving Sirius mad.
That was why he had made sure to stay awake, waiting for Remus. He was determined to have him at least acknowledge what they were doing.
So, as Remus fidgeted, Sirius drew his wand and cast a silencing charm on the bed's curtains. Instantly, Remus looked at him, wary.
"What was that for?"
"We need to talk."
Remus flinched away. "We really don't."
"Yes, we really do, if we're going to keep doing this."
"This? We're just sleeping. If you're going to be weird I'll just go back to my bed."
Sirius snorted. "I'm not being weird, you're being weird! You won't talk to me about this, you've gotten all distant during the day...the only time I see you one on one anymore is at night, and then you won't even talk to me!"
Remus shrunk away as Sirius grew louder. "I've just been tired."
"I don't doubt it, since you've been waking up however early to get away from me."
At that Remus heaved a sigh, and sat up. "I don't want to get away from you, Sirius."
Sirius sat up as well and turned his head. "Well, you've been doing fuck all to show that."
Remus was silent for a minute. Sirius began to fidget impatiently until the other boy took a deep breath and began.
"Things have just been so...different lately. James is always trying to spend more time with Evans, and Peter just wants to lackey around with him. The moons have been getting worse, and we have exams coming up, and I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life and I'm just. I'm tired."
Remus ended abruptly, looking down at his lap. Sirius nudged his shoulder with his own.
"Look, mate, I get it. You have a whole lot going on, we all do, and if what it takes to deal with that is sharing a bed with me, okay. Fine. Tip top! I just wanted you to talk to me."
Remus butted Sirius' shoulder back and smiled at him. Sirius beamed back.
"So, that's all, Moony?"
At this, Remus bit his lip. He took a long breath, and sighed through his nose.
"Do you want me to be honest, Pads?"
Sirius didn't hesitate.
"Of course!"
Remus tilted his head back against the wall and shut his eyes.
"I don't want to hurt our friendship."
"It'd take a fair bit more to break us apart than a moonlight confession, Moony. As I recall, we've already had a rather drastic one of those."
Remus gave a half-hearted laugh. Then, with a tight expression, he breathed out,
"I think I'm kind of...into you."
Sirius stilled, tensing. Remus' head shot up, and he began scrambling to wretch the curtains apart. "Nevermind, I'm going to go-"
It was Sirius' vice-like grip on his arm that stopped him.
"No, Remus, just give me a moment. Please."
Remus stopped and sat stock still next to Sirius. After a few beats, Sirius asked, "Really?"
"No, I just love humiliating myself and the sting of rejection. Of course really."
Sirius let out a breath. "Well."
"Well."
"Kiss me."
Remus' shoulders shot up. "Excuse me?"
"I'll be honest, Moony, I don't, I haven't...I've had my fair share of experiences with the fairer sex but I've never...with blokes, and I haven't really thought of you like that, but I'd be willing, maybe?"
Sirius ended lamely, looking at Remus, whose face twisted.
"I don't want to be something tested on or tried. Why don't we just forget the whole thing."
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair.
"No, but, Remus. I." He sighed and started again.
"I've missed you so much the last few weeks. It's been like, this part of me just faded away, and you were still here. I like having you in my bed, and seeing you, and all I want to do is make you smile, and- I sound like an idiot. All I'm trying to say is that I always thought we were just best friends. But you and I are different than me and James, or you and James, and I never really questioned why but now that I'm thinking about it I think that maybe you should. You know. Kiss me. And we can see."
Remus ran a hand over his face, then pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked at Sirius' face through his lashes. Sirius, for his part, looked earnest.
"Fine."
Sirius brightened, then tensed.
"So, how you want to go about this?"
Remus muttered something that sounded like "I thought you were supposed to be the experienced one." Before turning to face the other. He placed his hands on his shoulders and leaned in.
The kiss should've been unremarkable to Sirius. He'd kissed enough people to know. Remus' lips were thin, and he kept them still against Sirius'. But the knowledge that this was Remus he was kissing made him feel lightheaded. Sirius deepened the kiss, and Remus finally responded, hesitantly moving his mouth with Sirius'. After a moment, they pulled apart.
"So?" Remus asked, quietly.
Sirius smiled, leaning his forehead against the other's.
"I think...I may be a little into you, too."
