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The first note was a surprise. Ori had almost missed it entirely, slipped as it was in a book recently found and returned by dwarves working on the reconstruction. It was another librarian who told him that he'd dropped a piece of paper. Ori thanked her, bent to pick the paper, unfolded it, read it, and blushed hard.
Dear Ori
This, I fear, is a love declaration from a coward who dares not speak their name. Should you know it, I am fairly sure you would scoff and laugh... but no, you would not. You are far too sweet and kind to do anything so cruel. You would smile and find nice words to comfort me as you explain why you cannot love me, and that would be crueller yet.
But it matters not that my feelings cannot be returned. I love you. I love your kindness, I love your spirit, I love your courage, I love your cleverness, I love your laugh, I love your smile, I love your hands, I love your frown when you concentrate on what you are doing. I love all of this, and a thousand other things that make you who you are.
I know you are shy at times, and not always as confident as someone so amazing should be, and that is the reason for this letter. You should know that you are loved and desired, be it by one who is unwanted. You should know that you are loveable and desirable, and let this knowledge carry you and give you strength.
I love you,
A secret admirer.
After reading this, Ori was forced to sit down and had to concentrate on breathing. In and out, slowly, breathing out longer than he breathed in until he started feeling in control again. When that was accomplished, he read the letter again. He panicked less that time around. At his third reading, he was trying to recognise the hand and the style. The writing looked like someone had made great effort to not write the way they usually did, and had instead gone for something as bland and impersonal as possible. As for the style... it was nothing terribly original, and sounded straight out of a saga. Ori might even have scoffed if he'd seen it in a story.
He certainly didn't scoff reading it directed at himself.
His first instinct was to treat it as a joke. The style of the letter was far too adoring to be genuine, and what sort of a person would think they didn't have a chance with him?
“Pretty much everyone,” Deina told him when he explained the situation. “I know you enough to... well, know you. But you do come up as a little... distant and cold to people who don't know you. My boyfriend used to call you cool and mysterious.”
“I'm not cool. And I'm not mysterious.”
“No, just terribly shy,” Deina agreed. “But people don't know that. All they see is that one of the heroes of Erebor avoids all public appearances, and doesn't talk to anyone when he deigns to come. Mysterious.”
Ori frowned, and nervously played with the hem of his jumper. He wasn't trying to be mysterious. It wasn't his fault that parties made him anxious, and the sounds and smells and sight exhausted him until he could barely stand.
“I don't think the letter's a joke,” Deina decided. “Or if it is, I don't see the humour in it. You should write back to that person and try to meet them maybe. They might be nice.”
“Who might be nice?” Kili asked behind her.
Ori smiled at the princess, and motioned for her to sit on a chair next to him while Deina explained the situation. Kili didn't seem particularly impressed nor excited to learn about the letter, but that wasn't much of a surprise. Everyone knew she preferred spending time with her bow and her brother above anything else, and thought love was a waste of energy.
“I think Ori should try to contact that person,” Deina explained. “It might be someone nice!”
“Or it might be an old creep,” Kili sniggered. “Do you imagine, if it were Oin?”
“I would recognise Oin's hand,” Ori protested. “Beside, should he ever feel that way about anyone, I don't think he would ever think himself not good enough, not even if he were infatuated with Durin the Deathless himself.”
“Are you comparing yourself to Durin himself?”
Kili smirked at the idea, and Ori blushed. Before he could explained that he would never have dared, Deina slapped the back of the princess's head, scolding her for teasing him that way.
“If that's all you're going to contribute to the conversation, you can just leave, your highness,” she said coldly. “We certainly don't need that sort of bad spirit here, so if you can't behave, just go back to chatting with your warrior friends, thank you.”
“I'm just joking!”
“And we don't like your jokes, do we Ori?”
They both looked at him, more intensely than Ori was comfortable with. To be perfectly fair, he didn't really mind Kili's jokes. He did not always realize that they were jokes of course, but when he did they were funny, and when he did not, she was very nice about it, did not insist, and even explained them if he asked. Ori liked her a lot.
Deina did not, however, so she did all she could to make the princess feel unwelcome. And it worked of course, because Kili wasn't nearly as confident as she appeared to be when you didn't know her. It was one of the things Ori liked about her, because she got it.
“Well, I'll just leave you to it then,” Kili sighed, preparing to stand up. “But you be careful Ori: for all you know, your admirer could be as dumb and ugly as me.”
“Then they would be rather smart and handsome, wouldn't they?” Ori retorted confusedly. “How is that supposed to scare me?”
The princess froze and stared at him silently. She did that often when people complimented her, Ori had noticed. Sometimes she also tried to explain why the compliment was undeserved. It had confused Ori had first, but on Nori's advice, he just told the truth and hoped she would eventually accept that it was true.
“You really should be careful about this,” Kili mumbled once she'd recovered a little. “You don't know who wrote that letter. But you know, if you feel like contacting them... you could always write a letter of your own and leave it in that same book. They might check it again for an answer.”
“You don't know that,” Deina sneered. “Who would do that?”
“I would,” Kili retorted coldly. “If I wrote an anonymous letter about unwanted love, I think I'd still hope for an answer, and that seems like the best way to get one, doesn't it? But that's just my idea. I'm sure you'll find a much better way to deal with this, Deina. And now I'll leave you alone. See you later, Ori.”
They both watched her go, and Deina seemed much relieved to be rid of the princess.
“Why do you hate her so much? She's nice you know.”
“People like her never are nice,” Deina retorted. “She wants something from you. Didn't you hear how she was trying to convince you that your admirer had to be someone bad? I bet she's jealous that someone made a move on you before she did.”
“Kili's not interested in me. We're just friends.”
Deina shrugged, the way she always did when she felt she knew better but didn't want to bother with a fight.
“Well, here's someone at least who's interested in you,” she said, pointing at the letter. “Are you going to try to answer?”
“I don't know. What would I say? It's already hard to talk to people I know, so a stranger...”
He shivered just thinking about it, and started nervously playing with his scarf. Granted, writing to a stranger was not as stressful as actually talking to them, but it still was a worrying prospect, and he had no idea what he was supposed to say.
“Ask about them,” Deina suggested. “Try to figure out how they met you, that sort of things. Ask for their hobbies. Make them talk. The more they talk, the more likely we are to figure out who this is.”
“I'll try,” Ori sighed. “But I don't think I'll be much good at it.”
To the Stranger who wrote to me,
I am very sorry that you think I would not talk to you. I wish you would come talk to me. We could be friends at least. I like making friends, and you seem like a nice person. I do not know if I would love you, but I'm almost sure I would like you.
I don't know what to write. My friends say that I should ask you questions to try to guess who you are. They saw your first letter. But if you write again, I don't think I'll let them read it. I don't like the idea of it. It is very brave of you to write about your feelings, and it would be disrespectful of me to let other people have a look at them. If there are more letters, I will keep them strictly private. I hope there will be more letters. It would be nice to make a new friend, and it might be easier this way. Talking to people is hard. I've even learned today that people think I'm cold and distant. I am not. If that was why you did not want to talk to me, I promise I'm not like that. I just don't find it easy to talk to people, and words get stuck sometimes. If you're just shy too, that's fine. We can talk through letters. I won't try to find out who you are if you don't want to be found.
I hope you write again, but I will understand if you don't.
Goodbye,
Ori
Once his answer was in the book the following morning, Ori found it very difficult to not check on it every minute. He knew it made it nearly impossible for his admirer to come and get it, but he couldn't help himself. In the end, he was so distracted that he bumped into Kili in his haste to see if the letter was gone. She laughed when they bumped, and again when he explained what he was doing, but she seemed happy that he had taken her advice. In the end, she took him to Deina, who took him to Master Prain, who asked him to sort through some old parchments they had just found again. Thanks to them, Ori managed to spend the rest of the day without checking on the book, and when he went back at the end of his shift, the letter was gone.
The following night, he found an answer.
Dear Ori,
I am so happy that you answered me. I did not think you would. I am however not surprised that you offer your friendship. You are a very kind dwarf, always trying your best to not hurt anyone... and honest, too. There's many people who would not have admitted to showing that letter, though I do not think anyone ever really keeps such things to themselves. I personally let my sibling read your letter, because I never keep anything from them, but if you prefer, I will keep things private now. I do not want to disrespect you, not when you are so kind to me.
I would love to write to you. There are so many things I could never say to your face that I might say on paper... I could write about the many things I appreciate in you, and not fear to have it mistaken for a joke. I do not think you would take me seriously if I talked to you, but certainly, on paper, you must agree that I have nothing to hide? There is nothing for me to gain out of this, nothing but the knowledge that you might understand how appreciated you are. Unless it makes you uncomfortable. In which case I will refrain from doing it.
But for the record, I know you are not cold. You are kind and sweet and, yes, shy, but never cold. Anyone who called you that has never seen you in the company of friends you trust. When you feel you have nothing to fear from those surrounding you, you are the warmest, most cheerful person I know of. The circumstances only have to be right.
I love you, and always will,
your admirer.
“Oh, so they answered?” Kili exclaimed, trying to grab the letter, but Ori quickly hid it behind his back.
“It's private,” he said. “I promised I wouldn't show it.”
“I thought we were friends,” the princess complained.
“We are. But I promised.”
“There's no point in insisting,” Deina sighed with a roll of her eyes. “You know how he is once he's made his mind.”
Kili nodded, trying to look grim, but there was a smile at the corner of her lips.
Then again, when wasn't there?
Dear stranger,
If we are to write like this, I think we should come up with a better way to pass letters. Someone might borrow that book, and then what would we do?
There's a window on the western side of the library. Few people go that way ever, because it's dusty and we haven't had time cleaning it yet. Put your letters at that window, and I will do the same. It should be easier, I think.
If I may ask, do I know you? I'm sorry if it's a rude question, but I am wondering. I feel rather awful thinking I might be ignoring you, or not giving you the attention you deserve. So, do I know you? Have we ever talked?
I'm also wondering why you would have fallen in love with me. I'm nothing very special. Most people don't ever notice me, or they think I am boring. I talk too much or too little, and never the right one at the right time. I've had people take an interest on me because I'm apparently pretty, but it's the first time anyone says they love me, so I'm curious. To be fair, I don't even really know what love feels like. No one is able to give me a clear explanation.
I don't know what else to say. I'm tempted to ask about you. It would be fair. You seem to know a lot about me, but I know nothing about you, except that you don't seem very confident. And you have a sibling, too. If you don't want to tell me about yourself, it's fine of course. But it would be easier to write to you like that, I think.
I don't know what else to say, so I'm going to stop here for now.
Goodbye,
Ori.
Dear Ori,
I agree with your idea. Put your answer at that window, I will come and get it there.
To answer your question: yes, you do know me. You have talked to me more than once, and you are giving me more attention than I could dream of, more than I deserve certainly. It is part of why I'd rather not tell you about my feelings face to face. Things could get so awkward.
Of course, you realize that because of this, I cannot tell you too much about myself, or you might figure me out. I'm surprised you haven't already. I'm not very subtle, and I know others have noticed. For the same reason, I cannot tell you how I fell in love with you. The very specific story of it would give me away.
But I can tell you how I know I'm in love, and hopefully it will help you understand your own feelings better, should you ever fall in love.
I know I love you, because I constantly think about you. I wonder if you are well, how your day is going. I wonder if you'd like this joke I just learned, this book I just read. I think about what you must be doing, and ask myself if you're having fun. I want you to be having fun, preferably with me, but also without me. I just want you to be happy. Seeing you unhappy breaks my heart, and I would do anything to make you smile. I want to kiss and touch you, I want to hold you in my arms and make you laugh. Your laugh is one of my favourite sounds in the world, and your smile one of the most beautiful sights.
There are other things I dream of, too, but these I expect to come true even less than the rest. I've heard you talk of kissing, but never of more intimate things, and your face does that thing anytime people mention sex around you... I want you more than words could say, but I do not mind never having you. And that, too, is how I know I love you. Before I met you, I sometimes took lovers, and did not care much for anyone who offered my love without intimacy. Some I've liked, but never to the point of refusing my pleasure for their sake. But you? I would not feel that anything is kept from me. Even today, I am happy with everything I have. Why would I care whether I can share your bed or not? I can make you smile sometimes, and that gives me more pleasure than I've ever had from any lover before. I want to be near you, and if I can get that, everything else would feel like a pleasant bonus... appreciated, but not necessary, and which absence could be dealt with.
This is how you make me feel. I am happy to see you happy... and sad, too, when I am not the reason of your happiness. But such is life, and I'd rather see you happy without me than unhappy.
I love you,
Your admirer.
Ori was extremely cross at everyone after getting that letter. He furiously rearranged an entire section of the library, glaring warningly at Deina every time she tried to come talk to him. She was smart enough to avoid him, and to pass the message to everyone in the library. Kili was not warned of his bad mood though, and she came to chat with him. For reasons that he couldn't quite understand, Ori was particularly angry at her, and they ended up having a fight about something.
Afterwards he couldn't remember what had started the fight exactly. It might have been Kili suggesting he came with her at a new inn that had opened. But that was silly of course, because why should he get angry that she wanted to spend time with him?
He blamed it on that letter, and on the vague feeling that while he did love spending time with Kili, there was something that wasn't entirely satisfying in the way they spent time together.
Dear Stranger
You are making assumptions that I'm not sure to like. I have had sex in the past. I enjoy it a lot, if done with someone who can bother to really try to do it well. I just do not talk about it with everyone. It is private. But I still enjoy it. What I don't enjoy is people assuming that I am incapable of desire. You're not the first, you will not be the last, but I still don't like it. Just because I don't go flirting right and left doesn't mean I can't want to. I'm just awfully bad at it. But if you had dreams of me being a pure and innocent ideal (I have been told that in the past) then I'd advise you to go elsewhere. I enjoy sex, and should I be in a relationship, I'd hope to be having some.
This being said, I am touched that you feel it wouldn't be necessary. Sometimes, people start thinking that if I don't like sex it's because I've not had it with them yet. It is usually the best way to ensure that they'll never get to touch me ever, because that sort of thinking is disgusting. I have friends who really do not care for sex, and I don't think there's anyone in the world who could change that.
Your description of love made me smile. It think it's something I can understand, wanting to see something smile and laugh and be happy. People have told me that love was a great and terrible thing and wanting to always be together... but I like your version of it much better. I think that's much closer to what I feel.
Sorry, this will be a short letter. I'm a little cross at you, and I must find a way to apologize to my friend Kili. I've been very awful to her because your letter had made me angry, and now I must find a way to make it up to her.
Goodbye,
Ori
The following day, Ori didn't work. He still went to the library to leave his letter on the window, then went back home. The morning was spent in tidying his room (it was much needed), chatting with his brother, drawing a bit, and then lunch. Once he was done eating, he decided to go see Kili. While cleaning his room, he had figured that a good way to apologize would be to invite her to come eat with him at that inn she'd found. There was something about this that made him a little uncomfortable. It sounded so much like a date, going out to eat together. Deina and her boyfriend did that often. As did Gloin and his wife. But Kili and him were not dating. He liked her a lot, and she seemed to spend more time with him that with many of her other friends, but they were not dating.
Ori wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He also wasn't sure if he would want to date her anyway. He didn't want to think too hard about it, because it reminded him of his admirer's description of love, and that was uncomfortably close to what he felt toward Kili.
But she had such a nice smile, wasn't it just normal to want to see it all the time?
Ori thankfully didn't have time to answer his own question, because he had arrived at the palace, where he had to go through some security check (the guards barely paid him any attention though, and that was bad. He would have to tell Nori and Dwalin, because even he could have been an assassin), and then before he knew it, he was in front of Kili's room, knocking on her door.
The princess looked very agitated when she opened the door, and spots of colours started appearing on her face when Ori greeted her. She didn't blush in the nice, pretty way that princesses did in stories, but Ori decided that it still looked oddly cute, just because it was her.
“Am I disturbing you?” he asked. “I wanted to talk about yesterday...”
“You're never disturbing me,” Kili retorted, grimacing at the mention of the previous day but still pulling him inside. “And it's fine, you had a bad day, that happens.”
“It's not fine at all! I've been awful to you, and I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. I was upset because of other things, and I should not have taken it out on you. I'm sorry. It will not happen again. I like you a lot and I don't want to hurt you.”
A few new spots of red made their way on Kili's face.
“It's fine really,” she mumbled. “I'm not always nice either.”
“Yes, but it wasn't your fault,” Ori insisted. “It's because that person who writes me letters thought... Kili, do you think I'm the sort of person who wouldn't like sex? Is that the image I give?”
The princess's face finished turning red and she stared at Ori with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open in shock. He had thought that they were close enough friends to have this conversation, but maybe he'd been wrong.
Or maybe he'd mentioned it because he hoped...
But no, he hoped nothing. Kili was his friend, and that was it. He was perfectly happy that way. Anything else was just ideas generated by these letters, and it would pass soon.
“I think... I don't know what I think,” Kili sputtered. “I think that's a problem between you and... whoever you're dating, isn't it?”
“But what if people I could want to date think that of me and don't approach me because of it? People already think I'm cold and distant, what if they also think that I'm frigid? I'm not, you know. I really like sex, and it makes me so angry that people would just judge me like that because I'm... shy! I hate that people get ideas like this and... oh! Sorry. I shouldn't rant at you!”
Kili smiled. It wasn't her usual smile, but a lopsided one. Ori liked it less than the other one. It made her look a little sad and uncomfortable.
“Don't worry, you can rant at me. We're friends, right?”
“But I came to apologize, not to bother you! So I am apologizing now: Kili, I'm very sorry I got angry at you like this. Would you like it if I invited you to that inn, because I'm very sorry and it seems like a nice place? My treat.”
“I'd love to,” Kili said with a strangled voice, before laughing awkwardly. “You know, it almost could sound like a date.”
Ori felt words rush to his throat and get stuck there. It was a joke of course. Kili joked a lot, about everything, and he never minded... but this time he did. Somehow, this particular joke hurt, because it was a joke rather than the truth.
“Sorry, that wasn't very funny I guess,” Kili quickly said. “It's just, after what you just said, I couldn't help but think... ah, well. Just ignore me. When do you want to go?”
“Tomorrow?” Ori suggested, forcing the word out of his throat. “Evening?”
“I'll come and pick you up at the library when you're done, is that okay?”
Ori nodded, and stood there, playing with the hem of his scarf, unsure what to say. He'd come to invite Kili and apologize. He had done that. He didn't particularly want to leave yet, but he had nothing more to say, so he said goodbye and wished her a nice afternoon.
“You're always welcome here you know,” she told him. “I like chatting with you... I don't mind going to the library to see you because it's a fun place, but... you can come visit me whenever you want. I always have time for you.”
Ori almost asked her then if them going on a date really was just a joke. For once, it was a blessing that his words so often got stuck, he decided. Kili was a good friend, and she was nice to him, but she'd never given any indication that she liked him as anything but a friend. So he just waved at her and went back home.
He felt strangely restless the entire afternoon. It was all because of Kili's silly joke about a date, of course, and because of that damn letter.
It didn't mean anything that he loved Kili's smile, and her laugh. Friends liked to see their friends happy. It was normal. It didn't mean anything that he thought Kili was handsome, in spite of how many people called her plain, it was just that she was, and everyone would see it if only they stopped comparing her to Fili. And she really was smarter than people thought, when bothered, and she really was funny. It didn't mean anything that Ori thought all these things about her and many more, because they were just true. Kili was amazing and that was just a plain fact.
“I'm going to the library,” Ori decided after two hours of pacing in his room.
“You're aware of course that the point of having days off is that you don't have to go to work?” Dori asked.
“I've got to check something.”
There might be a new letter. It might distract him from thinking bad, silly thoughts about Kili.
“Can't it wait until tomorrow?” Dori insisted. “Honestly, you work even more than Nori, if that's possible!”
“It's not for work, and I'll be back soon, I swear. I just... need to check something.”
He almost hoped that the writer would anger him again. Anger would be better than that confusion and uncertainty.
Ori barely said hello to anyone when he arrived to the library. Deina, bless her, took one look at him, waved at him, and did not even attempt to engage conversation. Ori mentally thanked her, and rushed to the western section, only to find that for once, it wasn't empty.
Kili was there.
More precisely, she was at the window.
With an envelope in her hand.
“I can explain,” she gasped, red spots appearing on her face. “I swear I can explain.”
Ori glanced from her face to the letter, then back again at her face a couple times. He wasn't sure what he had expected his admirer to be like. Things felt torn between “not this at all” and “of course it was her”.
“Is it a joke?” he managed to ask.
If it was, he felt like he would break. Thankfully, Kili shook her head, clutching her letter.
“It's not. I swear it's not! I really... it's all real, it's all true! I didn't... I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't want to risk... please, can we still be friends? Please, it doesn't have to change anything, we can still be friends, can't we?”
“Out of the question,” Ori mumbled, feeling his heart bit so hard it made him almost dizzy. All of his confusion of the afternoon came back to him, except it was no longer confusion, it was certainty. He loved Kili.
“Can it be a date?” he asked suddenly, watching Kili's face go from pain to surprise.
“What?”
“Tomorrow, at the inn. Can it be a real date? I want it to be a date. I wanted it before you even joked about it. Please?”
Kili frowned and stared at him.
“Wait, you don't... you don't hate me then?”
“Oh. No. Not at all. I think I love you too, in fact. Is that okay?”
The princess nodded, staring at him as if she couldn't quite believe what was happening. To be fair, neither did Ori. He'd come there hoping to get angry and forget about feelings he denied having, and now...
It was getting too much to process, and Ori decided to sit down and breathe deeply. Kili loved him, and he loved her back. That was a rather unexpected discovery.
“Are you okay?” Kili asked, joining him and kneeling next to his chair. “Should I call someone?”
Ori shook his head and smiled at her. She looked so worried, and he wanted to kiss her, but he wasn't sure it was acceptable just yet. Instead he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, figuring that this might be a good compromise until he knew if he was allowed more.
“Can it be a date?” he asked again, forcing the words out of his throat. “Tomorrow...”
He couldn't help a smile when Kili nodded enthusiastically.
“Can I kiss you?” she blurted, before biting her lips and looking away. “Sorry. It's fine if you'd rather not...”
Before she could say anything more, Ori was kissing her. He felt himself sigh as if in relief while Kili moved closer, her arms slipping around his waist while his hands found a place on her shoulders.
Perfection didn't exist, but Ori was sure that this was very nearly it.
Their date at the inn started rather awkwardly, if only because neither of them was too sure what dates were supposed to be like. Most of Ori's lovers had been friends rather than actual lovers, and he'd never seen them alone except to have sex. As for Kili, she'd been on a few dates in Ered Luin, but it didn't seem to help her a lot.
They were both tense and nervous at first, until Ori had the idea of telling about a small incident that had happened at work. It made Kili laugh, and she started talking about her own day, just like she used to before. They joked and chatted and did things just as they used to before the letters, and it was fine. The only difference, as far as Ori could tell, was that Kili smiled at him a lot more, and that he kept finding excuses to touch her. He didn't realize he was doing it at first, but even when he noticed he didn't stop. Kili didn't seem to mind after all.
In the end it was a nice dinner, and a fun one. The first of many hopefully. When they left the inn, Kili asked Ori if he wanted to come have a last drink in her room, and he almost refused. He didn't like alcohol that much, it made him unwell, and it couldn't be a last drink because he had only drunk water anyway, and...
And then he saw the red on Kili's face, and the way she fidgeted, and he realized that this wasn't about a drink at all.
“I'd love to,” he said with a kiss to her cheek.
Ori was extremely relieved when they arrived at Kili's room, and she kissed him as soon as the door was closed. It really wasn't about drinking then. He would have been rather uncomfortable if it had been.
Kili was kissing him softly, as if he were something tender and delicate. Ori kissed her back as well as he could, focusing on getting things right, mimicking her motions for a while before licking at her lips. Kili pressed herself harder against him, sliding her tongue between his lips, still slow and tender, and Ori wanted more. He gasped when Kili's lips left his own to start kissing his neck instead, sucking and nibbling right under his beard until he could barely think anymore.
“Is there anything off limits?” Kili asked, pulling back suddenly. “I think I should ask before I'm too far gone. Anything I shouldn't touch?” she wondered, glancing at his chest.
Ori stared at her for a second, trying to compose himself enough to think.
“I don't like having anything... inside,” he said. “Other than that, everything's fine I think. You?”
“We're perfectly matched, because I can't stand the idea of being inside someone,” Kili chuckled. “You... you know I'm not a bearing woman, right?”
“I've seen you bathe during the quest, of course I know.”
Kili nodded, then frowned. “Wait, you saw me? How did you see me, we ladies never bathed with you guys!”
“It was an accident, and one of the best stones for my slingshot rolled over the wrong way, and I almost didn't see, I promise!”
The princess chuckled, and quickly kissed his lips.
“I don't really mind. I've spent a good part of the quest staring at you anyway. But it means you've seen me naked, and I've never seen you. What should we do about that?”
“You could undress me?” Ori suggested breathlessly, feeling his cheeks burn and his stomach tighten in anticipation.
Kili grinned, and undid the buttons of his tunic, slowly, one by one, before making it slide off of his shoulders. Ori felt he should have protested against the risk of getting it wrinkled, but his attention was elsewhere. Kili had started unbuttoning his shirt too, but this time her hands wandered more, brushing against the small mounds of his breasts, the softness of his stomach. When enough buttons were undone, she bent forward to kiss the middle of his chest, and Ori gasped. He'd been touched and kissed there before, but the almost reverent expression on Kili's face made it more intimate than he'd have thought.
She smiled up at him, quickly divesting him of his shirt, then moved to kiss him again.
“Can I touch?” she asked, one hand brushing against his breast.
“Please, yes.”
She grinned at him, and cupped one small breast in her hand, the other resting of his hip.
“It's so soft,” she whispered, dragging her thumb against Ori's nipple.
“Never been with a bearer before?”
“Only one, and he didn't like being touched there. I'm glad you do. I think I like breasts. Wish I had some myself, but I'll content myself with yours for now. Can I kiss them?”
Ori nodded quickly, then shook his head. He did want it, but Kili would have to bend in half to reach his chest, and that wouldn't be comfortable for her.
“On the bed?” he suggested. “Then yes, yes a lot.”
Kili grinned at him, and dragged him toward her bed, pushing him to sit there before falling on her knees before him. She pushed his legs open and crawled between them, smirking up at him.
“Let's finish undressing you first, okay?”
Ori only nodded, not trusting himself with words right at that moment. The image of Kili starting to undo the laces of his trousers was almost more than he could bear, and he chocked when she pressed a kiss to the rolls of his stomach. She only chuckled in answer, and made him raise his hips so she could make the trousers slide down his legs, leaving him in his briefs.
He looked away then, refusing to acknowledge the wetness between his legs that had started seeping through the cloth. This was definitively the part he liked the less about this whole business. It was messy and felt weird if he allowed himself to think about it... but there was no way around it.
“Are you okay?” Kili asked. “If you've changed your mind...”
“I haven't!” Ori quickly said, looking back at her. “I'm just. Bodies are weird, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” she sighed. “Okay, but you tell me if you change your mind, okay?”
“And so do you if you change yours,” Ori retorted, which made her smile.
She really had such a nice smile, and the fact that she was now between his legs made it even nicer, as did the way she looked right into his eyes as she removed his briefs...
But they had to break eye contact when Kili realised that she had forgotten to remove his shoes before taking care of the rest. She started fighting against the lacing of his boots, somehow managing to make the knots tighter. Ori ended up laughing and pushing her away to take care of it himself while she grumbled that she could have done it.
When he was finally naked and looked up again, it was to discover that Kili had undressed too, keeping only her underwear that she was trying to hide with her hands.
She wasn't pretty, not really, not the way some girls and boys were, but right at this moment, she was the most beautiful person Ori had ever seen. Her face was coloured with spots of red that continued on her chest, her hair was a mess, she was elfishly skinny, and it all made her perfect.
“I don't like other people undressing me,” she blurted. “We can try another time maybe, but for now I prefer...”
“You're so beautiful.”
The constellation of red on her body spread at that, and she looked down.
“I'm not really, but thanks,” she mumbled, sitting next to him to kiss his cheek. “Okay, so now what?”
“I'd like to touch you,” Ori replied, dragging his thumb along her collarbone then down her chest. If that's fine with you?”
She nodded eagerly, kissing his lips as his fingers found her nipples. She didn't seem particularly responsive, not the way some of Ori's lovers had been, until he accidentally tweaked one of the small buds, making her moan against his mouth. He liked the sound of it, so he repeated his action, trying it on the other side too, until Kili was clinging to him and panting against his cheek.
He gasped when she suddenly pushed him on his back to straddle him, looking determined.
“My turn now,” she announced with a quick kiss to his lips. “My turn.”
She sounded so serious that Ori might have laughed, if not for the feeling of her mouth on his left breast, kissing and licking and sucking in a way that made his stomach clench deliciously. He cried out when she bit on his nipple, and she quickly pulled away, looking worried.
“Sorry. I didn't mean to...”
“It's fine,” Ori mumbled breathlessly, caressing her cheek and pulling her back to him. “It's very, very fine.”
Kili instantly relaxed and chuckled, moving to his other breast to give it the same treatment. Ori pet her hair encouragingly, enjoying its texture, moaning softly whenever she bit or sucked somewhere nice. He didn't stop her when her kisses and bites started moving downward. The coarseness of her short beard felt strange against the soft skin of his stomach, but it was a good strangeness, one that had him squirming pleasantly. She kept glancing up at him, and he could almost see her smile and she kissed every bit of skin she could reach before she shifted and bit the inside of his thigh, making him whine. Pleased with that reaction she bit him again, before sucking on his skin to leave a mark.
“Can I touch?” she asked, smirking proudly at him. “Your... what do you call it?”
“Hammer, and, yeah. And yours is...?”
“A pearl, just that. Or an amazing love button when I'm very lonely and very horny, but I'm not too sure I want others calling it that.”
Ori nodded and giggled, but the sound broke into a weird moan when Kili brushed on finger against his hammer, and she sniggered.
“That was an interesting sound,” she teased. “I didn't think it was even possible to make a sound like that.”
“Shush,” Ori mumbled. “It's your fault!”
“And I'm quite proud of myself if you must know,” Kili retorted smugly before repeating the motion.
Before long Ori was writhing under her ministrations and breathing hard, the usually much hated wetness between his legs making the slide of her fingers against his hammer slick and easy. When Kili shifted to lick at him, Ori had to fight not to buck his hips, his fingers gripping tightly the sheets beneath him as he tried to stay still. He could feel pressure building within him, and heard his own moans that he couldn't bite back. Then Kili started sucking and he was gone, arching his back and moaning loud.
He was still breathing hard when Kili pulled back and crawled up to him, but he turned to kiss her. The taste of himself on her lips was a strange one, and he never was sure he liked it... but he liked kissing Kili, and the rest was but a detail.
“That was very nice,” he told her, loving the smug little smile it got him.
“I'm sure I could do better,” she chuckled. “In fact, I'm going to try to do better as soon as you've recovered a little.”
“And what about you?” Ori asked, one hand caressing her stomach at the hem of her underwear, not yet daring to touch her hard pearl. “I want to make you feel good too,” he claimed, enjoying the way Kili blushed, and wanting to make her blush more he added, “I want to suck you, if that's okay?”
She did blush indeed, staring at him with wide eyes and sputtering and she was so pretty like that, he had to kiss her.
“You know, I can't believe I've ever thought you were innocent,” Kili grumbled. “You are very naughty.”
“Is it a problem?”
“Far from it,” she laughed. “But we're having a problem. You want to suck me and I want to suck you. Who gets the first turn?”
Ori thought about it for a second, his fingers slipping under the hem of her underwear to caress her groin.
“Or we could both get first turn,” Kili suggested. “I've done it once. Won't be easy because I'm a bit too tall, but could manage... If I'm on my back and... Do you know what I mean?”
“Show me?” Ori said, shaking his head.
Kili nodded. She moved up the bed, so she would be resting against her pillows, and gesture for Ori to join her. She asked him to straddle her, and then laughed when he did.
“Not like that... turn the other way. You must have to back toward me for it to work.”
Ori frowned but obeyed, not quite sure what they were doing, but trusting Kili. It was only when she grabbed his hips to pull his groin toward her head that he got it. He quickly went down on his elbows, pushing away Kili's underwear to free her pearl. It had been a while since Ori had seen one like that, because he had more often been with bearers over the last few years, and he felt a moment of uncertainty. Kili's pearl was bigger than he had expected, and there was some pre-spent gathering at the head. Leaning in to lick it felt like the right thing to do. Judging by Kili's strangled little gasp, it was. Ori started kissing her length, feeling a little awkward as he did so but loving the way her hands gripped his hips.
Encouraged by this, Ori took the head of her pearl in his mouth and sucked lightly. The taste was just as odd as he remembered. Not bad as such, but odd. He could very well tolerate oddity though, for the sake of hearing Kili moan like that, and so licked and sucked, taking as much of her pearl as possible in his mouth. Kili was trembling and gasping, whispering encouragements as she kissed and bit her way up his thight.
It was Ori's turn to moan when the princess kisses between his legs, and the sensation of it on her pearl had her moaning back. Gripping the base of her pearl with one hand, Ori started stroking it in addition to his sucking and licking, enjoying the sound his lover made and the sloppy way she tried to pleasure him.
Kili's hands were touching every bit of him that they could reach, stopping more than once on his breasts even though the position wasn't ideal for it, groping his ass and gripping his thighs while she licked and kissed him. The sensation of her short beard against this part of him was strange at first, almost more intense than he could bear but he loved it and it was driving him fast toward another peak.
But Kili first. It was only fair, a small part of him decided, and his only regret was that he wouldn't see her... but there would be other times. He stroke her pearl faster, delighting in the choked sounds his princess made against his skin. She mumbled something that sounded like a warning and Ori sucked hard until she was bucking under him and hot, bitter liquid flooded his mouth. He spit it on the sheets, not sure what else to do, and kept stroking Kili through her orgasm. When it was over, he laid down at her side and kissed her cheek, waiting for her to calm down.
“That was very nice,” she panted, nuzzling his neck. “Did you...?”
“No, but it can wait, don't worry.”
“Doesn't have to wait,” she pouted, her hand sliding down his body and between his legs to lazily stroke his hammer until he reached his peak, groaning against her neck.
They laid side by side in silence after that, their breaths slowing down and the heat bleed away, forcing Ori to cuddle close to the princess. He could feel that Kili, who had closed her eyes, was falling asleep, and he knew they should have cleaned up... they would, very soon, because he was starting to feel sticky and he hated it... but for now he felt comfortable like this, in a way he never had with any of his past lovers. It wasn't really a surprise though. He'd always been at ease near her, hadn't he?
“Can hear you thinking,” Kili sighed. “Don't do that.”
“I'm thinking I love you.”
She cracked one eye open, and smiled at him.
“Fine, you can think then,” she yawned. “But only 'cause I love you too.”