Chapter Text
When Peter slowly began to disintegrate in Tony’s hands, his resolve crumbles. He tries to hold it up for the kid – his kid – but it’s just so easy to let his arrogant façade drop into true, raw concern. It seems to let Peter relax a bit, as if Tony never showed him that he actually meant something to him. Peter opens his mouth, his tongue already beginning to melt away as the ashes crumble from his pale skin. Tony tries not to think about how they stick to the blood on his palms as he cradles Peter’s head closer. He wants his kid to be comfortable. Even if he’s dying.
“I don’t want to go, Mr. Stark. I never wanted-“ Peter breaks off, breathing heavily as he struggles to think about what he wants his last words to be. He’s never had to consider them before. A dark shadow settles on Tony’s soul. He doesn’t think it’ll be going away anytime soon.
“Hey, hey. Pete. It’s alright. I’ll find some way to fix this. I’ll make Strange fix this,” Tony growls, brushing his fingers through Peter’s fading hair. He swallows, hard, as he realizes that his hands only made Peter’s hair crumble faster. Tony pushes the thought aside to rip himself apart about later. His kid’s dying right now.
“I’m sorry I failed you, Mr. Stark,” Peter says, his tone weird as he feels his drying mouth with a sandpaper tongue. Peter lets out a small whimper at the ash that falls into his mouth as he does so. He’s almost half-gone now. Tony’s given up trying to brush the ash back together, simply letting it fall where it wants.
“Do you think I’ll be naked in the afterlife?” A pained smile crosses Peter’s ashy lips. Tony lets out a wet, tear-soaked laugh, and he’d hit kid the lightly on the arm if it wasn’t for the current circumstances. Despite the joke and tight laughter, Tony can only hear the words dying, dying, dying rumbling in his brain.
“I doubt Thanos would want that awful imagery for all time.” Another smile passes Peter’s lips as he slowly lets his eyes raise to the dusty sky. Tony’s lungs squeeze tight at the action, and ignores the way that Peter was about to become part of that sky. “Hey, stay with me, alright?” He knows its useless, but he tries anyway. Anything. He would do anything to keep Peter alive.
“Do you think,” Peter coughs slightly, pain flashing against his face, “that Aunt May is going to be mad?” A guilt has flickered in Peter’s eyes, settling in as his face begins to fall into the bloody sand beneath his head.
“No. Never.” He didn’t want the kid to die being fucking guilty about dying. “Aunt May will never be mad you, Peter. None of that matters.” Peter seems to relax a bit, his muscles resting more loosely into the sand, but that only leads to more disintegration. Tony ignores the bile rising in his throat when he considers the fact that he might have to leave Peter’s body here. The ashes here. He’s got nothing to carry them in.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, sir,” he puffs, his lips almost completely gone. Tony thinks it might be his last words as he closes his mouth, what-would-have-been lips sealing. Pain settles in his face again.
“Hey, kid,” Tony says as he begins to wrap his calloused fingers at the only part of Peter still whole – his right shoulder. Even as Tony presses his fingers into the flesh, it begins to fall away. He’s running out of time. “I’m going to fix this – all of this. This is just a bad dream, alright? I’m sorry,” Tony chokes out, the words all jumbled as he tries to get them out while Peter still has an ear left. “I never should’ve brought you in. Should’ve left you in Queens.” Peter has the audacity to look offended, as if Tony was being absurd. He doesn’t try to speak. Tony isn’t even sure he could anymore.
He doesn’t want to be his kid’s last words, despite what so many parents would want. That means Pete’s dying. That Tony’s alone again. He doesn’t want to be alone again – he can’t be. Peter’s stuff is lying around his penthouse now, littering his floor in video games and comic books and clothes. He can’t live there anymore. Not after this. That is, even if he gets off this damned planet.
Titan. That’s what the planet is called, he dimly remembers. All around him is simply dust, ash, and an almost-flaming sky. The sand beneath his knees is speckled with his own blood, filling him with a nausea that’s been present since he first noticed Peter’s sudden condition. He wished he could set Pete in a grassy, wide-open field rather than this alien planet. Than the dusty ground leaving marks along Peter’s disintegrating cheek. Tony doesn’t bother to wipe it away – he knows it’ll just break apart under his touch again. His stomach roils.
Blood leaks through the crack in his suit onto the sand, and he makes sure it doesn’t drip onto Peter’s red suit. Red is to hide the blood from bad guys, Peter had once said, flashing a crooked smile. If only he could see that innocent smile again. The kid was all silence and regretful dark eyes now. Eyes dark due to the planet’s dark skies, but Tony also suspects it’s because of the pain littering his gaze. He tries not to imagine what the feeling of melting away is like. His brain not-so-helpfully supplies him with disturbing ideas anyway.
Tony feels a light touch press against his knee, despite the suit. He looks down to see that Peter is scared by his silence, that Tony has stopped talking to him. He immediately scrounges up words to distract Peter, even if his ear has just fallen away. So, he starts telling stories. He rants to Peter about making the Iron Man suit. He tells him about arguments with Rhodey. Tony even spills his new technology ideas he’s been working on for the past year, and guilt thickly coats his throat as he realizes it doesn’t even matter if he does. Pete can’t hear him anyway.
After ten minutes of frantic babbling, Tony is sitting in a sea of off-gray ash and spilling every thought coming to his brain. He scrubs at his face to wipe away tears, trying to erase the image of Peter’s eyes falling away – becoming blank, empty, and utterly lifeless. His hands are caked in Peter’s ashes, the blood forcing them to stick to his palms. Tony lets out a sharp laugh, fire lacing down his injured side as he does so. He can’t erase Peter. It’s when Tony realizes that the suit is gone with Pete that he lets himself let out a gut-wrenching sob alone on Titan.