Chapter Text
“New kid, twelve o’clock.”
Arthur followed the direction the voice was indicating, shivering as he drew his thin jacket around him and tried to pull up his blanket higher. He wasn’t even sure if it counted as a jacket anymore, for it was worn and threadbare. He supposed that was what happened when he had spent the last three months living and sleeping on the street. It had been warmer when he had first come out here, but now the days were closing in and the jacket didn’t seem to be offering him sufficient warmth. He knew if he could just get a decent meal, or even an uninterrupted night’s sleep, then he would be fine. But that was easier said than done out here and he knew he looked just as ragged as the rest of the men that chose this spot to try and shelter from the icy wind that had blown up in the last few days.
The man was right; the figure picking his way through the sleeping figures at the end of their alleyway wasn’t a regular. Arthur immediately sat up straighter. While he was not the kid that he had been indicated as, he wasn’t old either. From what he could make out in the dim light, Arthur would put him around his early twenties, just a few years younger than him. The boy passed under a flickering streetlamp and Arthur found that he was trying to memorise as many details about him as he could. Tall and lanky, he seemed to be all elbows and knees as he desperately attempted to avoid kicking anyone as he struggled down the alleyway. His posture was guarded and tense and that was enough for Arthur to know that he had been on the streets for some time now, even if not in this area. He seemed to know that muttering sorry wouldn’t be enough if he disturbed one of the men sprawled across the floor. Arthur could just make out tufts of what looked like black hair jutting out from under a hat pulled down low. Not much of his face could be seen; the thin scarf wrapped around his neck had been pulled up so high that only his eyes were visible. Arthur squinted, attempting to make them out. It wasn’t until he passed under another lamp, much closer this time, did Arthur decide that they were blue.
Just as he had finished his appraisal of the young man, the person in question managed to catch one of the sleeping men with his foot. He instantly froze like a rabbit in the headlights and Arthur found himself swearing. He didn’t have time for there to be trouble tonight and he was moving before he truly thought about what he was doing. The disturbed man leapt up so fast that Arthur knew he couldn’t have been asleep; no one reacted like that if they had been sleeping in the cold. The boy didn’t have time to move more than a few steps away before he had been grabbed by his scarf and slammed against the wall. Arthur winced even as he began picking his way across. That had got to hurt.
“You think you can just turn up here and take all the best spots, do you?” The man snarled, his fist constricting in the fabric of the scarf. Arthur could hear gasps, and he wasn’t sure if it was fear or the boy actually being able to not breathe properly. Considering Arthur himself had had dealings with the man threatening him, he had a feeling it was the latter.
“N-no, I just slipped, that’s all. Please, I didn’t mean…”
“You didn’t mean? Well, maybe you can pay for your foolishness…” Arthur wasn’t close enough to interfere, but he could see the man rest his arm across the youth’s throat as his free hand began searching his pockets intently. The boy squirmed, trying to get him off, but there wasn’t anything he could do as the man pulled a £10 note out of his pocket.
“Well, well, well, what have we here?”
“Please! Give it back, I need it.” Arthur winced even as he deftly scrambled over a few figures in his own way. He had learnt the hard way that claiming something like that was the worst thing to say.
“Yeah? Well, so do I, kid. Tell you what, you can earn it back.” The arm across the boy’s throat disappeared and he seemed to slip down the wall, gasping for breath. Arthur sped up his pace.
“How?”
“You’ve got a pretty mouth. How about you put it to use and I’ll give it back.”
“Alvarr!” Now that he was closer, Arthur could see who was threatening the boy. Under the dim light, the youth had gone deadly pale and Arthur had the horrible feeling he was desperate enough for the money that he would have done what he was told. He would have been a fool if he had done so; Alvarr wouldn’t have returned the money regardless of what the boy had done.
“Stay out of this, Penn. New kid thinks he can just come barging in here…”
“He’s mine.” Arthur muttered darkly, finally reaching them and standing protectively in front of the youth. He had no idea why he was doing this, he knew the dangers of getting more involved than he was supposed to be. But there was something about the boy that made Arthur feel like he needed protecting. The way he moved; hunched and timid made Arthur feel like he was one of the few that wasn’t on the streets because of an addiction gone wrong. Something had happened to him that had driven him to desperate measures and Arthur had no intention of letting Alvarr exploit that. He could hear the boy’s sharp and fast breathing on the back of his neck, but didn’t turn around. He knew that for this to work, he had to remain impassive.
“Are you challenging me to him?”
“Yes, you could say I am. Would you like a repeat of last time?” Arthur said coolly, watching as the anger visibly flooded to Alvarr’s face. He knew the man was remembering all too well how Arthur had almost knocked him out in front of all of his “friends”. He had tried to be tough and dominate over an area that Arthur had been sitting in, regardless of the fact the blond had been there first. He had suggested the same things he had just done to the kid about Arthur “earning” the right to sit there. Arthur had swiftly shown him what he thought of that and earned himself a reputation not to be messed with. The first time had been bad enough, there was no way he would have given in twice. Now that winter was drawing in and they were all gravitating towards the same areas, he knew that reputation was all that was keeping him safe. Hopefully now, he could extend that protection to the boy.
“If I see him again…”
“Oh grow up, Alvarr, of course you’ll see him again. But understand this… if you so much as think of touching him, I’m coming after you, understand?” Not waiting for an answer, Arthur folded his fingers around the lad’s wrist and began pulling him after him. It didn’t matter where he wanted to go once they got further down the alleyway, Arthur knew he just had to make sure there was enough distance between them and Alvarr. He made it a few steps when he felt the boy resisting and glanced over his shoulder. He didn’t look like he was trying to pull away as such, he just wasn’t coming quietly either. As Arthur tried to take another step and realised the boy had dug his heels in, he realised why.
“And give him his money back.”
“Make me,” Alvarr spat, clearly having had enough of being threatened for one day. Arthur simply raised an eyebrow.
Two minutes later, he handed the boy his money back and calmly stepped over Alvarr, who was rolling on the floor and moaning pitifully as he clutched a bloody nose.
“Come on,” Arthur muttered and was thankful when the boy followed him this time. He knew that a reputation only went so far and if any of the others thought he was overstepping the line, they would join with Alvarr to teach him a lesson. He couldn’t afford for that to happen and swiftly hurried down the alleyway. The boy followed without a word this time.
Arthur snatched his blanket from where he had been sleeping before and moved further down. He wanted more space between him and Alvarr, wanted to make sure the man didn’t know where he was. He moved quietly, nimbly dodging anyone who might be in his path and just hoping the boy was a little less clumsy this time. They made it to a clear space, although Arthur was not happy with the way they were almost at the end of the alleyway. There was no way out this end and he knew if things kicked off, they would be effectively trapped. Still, it was only for now and he didn’t waste any more time before spreading his blanket and sitting down.
“Well?” He prompted, realising the boy was just going to stand there. Shakily, he sat down, looking at Arthur through wide and guarded eyes.
“What do you want?” He asked in a trembling voice and Arthur suddenly groaned as he thought about how the confrontation would have looked. If he was honest, he was glad he had somehow made it seem convincing, looking as if he truly was taking the boy for himself. That wasn’t uncommon amongst the large group of them living rough. Youngsters sought protection, and those older offered it for a price. Arthur wasn’t sure how to explain he had just wanted to help.
“You to stop looking like I’m about to punch you,” Arthur muttered, trying to get comfortable and utilise whatever warmth he could from the blanket. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“But… you said…”
“I know what I said. It was the only thing I could think of to get him to back off. I’ve had dealings with him in the past. He made me the same offer he made you. Word of advice, mate. Spend that money as soon as the sun comes up.”
“I’m saving it,” the boy protested, his knees huddling up to his chest as he tried to keep himself warm. Arthur watched him closely.
“For what?”
“For when I need it.”
“Right now, kid, I would say you need a warm blanket if you are going to survive out here. Come here,” Arthur held up the corner of his own blanket. It wasn’t really big enough for two, but the boy looked freezing and Arthur knew body heat would help. He hesitated however.
“I’m not a kid.”
“What’s your name then?”
“Merlin.”
“Merlin… Right, Merlin, get your skinny arse under this blanket before you freeze to death.” To Arthur’s relief, Merlin seemed to hear the humour in his words and a shadow of a smile crossed his face as he scooted closer. He still paused before he touched the blanket however.
“What’s yours?”
“My what?”
“Favourite colour,” Merlin deadpanned, and for a moment, Arthur could only stare at him. Merlin rolled his eyes. “Name, you idiot.”
“Watch who you are insulting or the blanket will disappear. And it’s Arthur. Now get under?” Merlin finally moved closer, although Arthur could sense that he was trying to keep his distance as much as he could. He could almost feel the cold radiating from the younger man and knew he was lucky not have fallen sick. There was a haunted look in his eye that indicated he had been out on the streets for a while even if not in this part of town. Arthur knew better than to ask. They all had their own stories and he wasn’t exactly about to offer up his.
“I won’t bite you know,” Arthur grumbled, but Merlin didn’t move any closer. Annoyed that it was letting more of the cold air in, Arthur shuffled himself over a little, but made sure he didn’t touch the younger man. It was clear that Merlin was on edge, even if Arthur had just saved him from Alvarr. Not that Arthur could blame him. He knew how tough it was living out on the streets, how each day was a fight for survival and the hope that someone gave you enough change that you could buy something hot. How everyone looked down on you, and even those in the same situation saw you as a means to an end. Merlin looked young; that must make it even harder on him. And while Arthur was telling himself that he hadn’t noticed, the boy was good looking. Offers such as Alvarr’s couldn’t have been the only ones he had got and Arthur found himself wondering how the boy had managed to survive roughing it this long.
“How do you know I won’t?” Merlin retorted and despite himself, Arthur had to smile. He might have originally seemed timid and there was certainly enough tension running through his body that made him look like he was going to bolt at any second. But he clearly had a hidden strength and now that he knew Arthur wasn’t about to hurt him, he was letting that show. Arthur couldn’t help but wonder whether his quick answers were precisely what had kept him alive all this time?
“Shut up and sleep. It’s a few hours before dawn, and that’s when I’m leaving.” Arthur muttered, turning his back on Merlin and trying to stay as buried under the blanket as he could. He didn’t move and Merlin seemed to realise that any further conversation was not welcome. The boy wriggled around for a while to get comfortable and Arthur found himself close to kicking him out again. But he knew that he wouldn’t. It wasn’t in his nature. He had offered Merlin his protection and whether he realised it or not, by following Arthur down the alleyway, Merlin had accepted. In this sort of life, that didn’t just mean literally protecting him against those such as Alvarr. It meant keeping him alive, against anything that might threaten him.
Eventually, however, Merlin fell still and when Arthur risked a glance over his shoulder, he saw that the youth had fallen asleep.
“Bloody hell,” Arthur muttered, rolling over and propping himself up on one elbow as he gazed down at the sleeping figure. Merlin looked even younger like this but that wasn’t what had Arthur staring. He looked so innocent.
Arthur might have only been on the streets for three months, but he had never seen anyone look that peaceful while sleeping. There were huge circles around Merlin’s eyes and his skin was pale. It was clear he hadn’t been eating enough and now that he was resting and Arthur could stare without being accused of anything, he could see that he had a gaunt appearance. He had been right in thinking Merlin had been living like this for a while. He had been wrong, however, to think that Merlin was surviving. Whatever had driven Merlin to this part of town – notorious for being full of homeless people and genuinely avoided by those who wanted an ordinary life – meant things were desperate.
As Arthur realised where his train of thought was going, he abruptly turned back over and shut his eyes. Why did it matter to him? Merlin was just another young man failed by those who were supposed to care about him and clearly believing he had no other option but to live out on the streets. It wasn’t any of Arthur’s business. He should be more worried that the boy was going to shove a knife in his back and steal the blanket while Arthur was asleep. He was taking a risk letting him this close this quickly, but there was just something about him. For a reason Arthur couldn’t explain (and would never admit to considering he had only just met the boy), he wanted to look after him.
Huffing irritably, he tried to force the thoughts from his mind and get some sleep.
It didn’t work.
He was still lying there, wide awake and frustrated when the sun began glinting off the buildings. The alleyway was sandwiched between two tall office blocks and the warmth of the sunlight never quite reached down to where people were sleeping. But that glinting light was Arthur’s alarm and he immediately made to move. Only to freeze when he realised that – without him noticing – Merlin had somehow rolled over in the night and was now huddled against Arthur’s back, clearly trying to get warm. How Arthur hadn’t noticed considering how cold the young man was, he had no idea. But it meant he didn’t want to just leap up like he usually did. He didn’t want to disturb him.
“This is stupid,” Arthur muttered, knowing that it was going to cost him everything if he carried on thinking like this. Three months he had survived for out here, and it seemed Merlin was going to destroy everything within just a few hours. Jabbing his elbow back, Arthur tried to force him to roll back over as he struggled to his feet at the same time. It sort of worked; he had enough space to stand even if it was only by wobbling a lot as he tried to avoid falling over Merlin. It was easier said than done considering the boy was somehow practically wrapped around his feet. Arthur wriggled backwards, trying to dislodge him. Just as he made to step over the youth and make his way out of the alleyway, Merlin’s eyes opened.
For a split second, the only thing Arthur could see in them was complete trust. Merlin gazed up at him sleepily, almost not seeming to care they had only just met. Arthur knew in that instant he was in trouble. He could have killed Merlin, robbed him of everything that he had, done anything to him… And Merlin wouldn’t have noticed. He seemed to trust Arthur enough to have completely let his guard down while he slept and Arthur knew that was dangerous. How on earth had he survived this long?
“Where are you going?” Merlin murmured, sleep lining his voice even as he began to sit up. He gathered the blanket closer to himself, almost as if he was forgetting that it was Arthur’s. But even as he did so, he looked like he was getting to his feet.
“Nowhere,” Arthur scowled, drawing his jacket further around him and beginning to pick his way through the sleeping men. It took a while to get to the end of the alleyway, not helped by how far back he had been forced to sleep in order to stay safe. But as he stepped out between the two buildings and looked around the deserted streets, Arthur sighed.
Another day.
He began walking off, knowing that if he wanted his usual spot, he had to make sure he beat the others. It wasn’t the best spot for getting donations but it was where he needed to be. It was the best spot for him. He knew that because it was slightly out of the way, that others wouldn’t bother him too much for it. But he had begun to be recognised around that area a little now and that was what Arthur needed.
“Arthur? Hey, Arthur, wait for me!”
Arthur stopped, but that was only because he was more shocked than anything. He half-turned, and found that he wasn’t as surprised as he should have been to see Merlin practically scrambling out of the alleyway after him. Glancing down between the two buildings, Arthur winced but raised his eyebrows at the amount of bodies squirming where Merlin had just tripped his way over them. Self-preservation didn’t seem to be in Merlin’s dictionary.
“What?” Arthur knew he was being blunt, but his brain hadn’t woken up enough to know truly what was happening.
“You left this behind.” Merlin held his blanket out to him and this time, Arthur knew that his mouth had dropped open. He knew full well by walking off and leaving it with Merlin, he was guaranteeing that he was losing it. Arthur had just wanted to leave, feeling himself being undermined by the trust in Merlin’s eyes. He would have found another one somehow, or found somewhere warmer to sleep. He didn’t realise the trust that Merlin had thrown his way extended deeper than just a look.
Now he was convinced that Merlin surviving on the streets was pure fluke.
It was an unwritten rule that you took everything you could get your hands on and didn’t think about the others. It was the only way to stay alive, especially now winter was coming. Arthur knew if his situation didn’t change he was going to be in big trouble once the weather truly turned, but he had adopted the proper street-life way of thinking. Each day at a time, that was what he had to focus on.
“Arthur?” Blinking, the blond realised he had just been staring at Merlin almost gormlessly for a few moments.
“Thanks,” he said gruffly, grabbing the blanket and shoving it under his arm. Without another word, he moved off. To his surprise, Merlin jogged after him before falling in step.
“What are you doing?”
“Coming with you?” Arthur told himself that it wasn’t endearing in the slightest the way Merlin seemed to word it as a question rather than a statement. He didn’t seem so sure of himself anymore and now they didn’t have the protection of rising buildings either side of them, Arthur suddenly realised just how small Merlin seemed to be.
“No, you’re not.”
“Why?”
“I don’t earn enough in a day to eat, you really think people are going to give twice as much if you are there as well?”
“I can be charming,” Merlin said, flashing him a grin as he did so. Arthur knew that he was staring again. He couldn’t help it. Merlin was right; there was something charming about his smile. There was a chance that he could get more attention like that…
“No.” This time, Arthur upped his pace. He couldn’t stand here talking or the lead he had earned by rising so early would be lost. He had underestimated his shadow, however. Merlin had long lanky legs (he might have looked frail, but Arthur was only just realising he was actually a fraction taller), and it seemed to take no effort on his behalf to fall back into step. Glancing at him, Arthur wasn’t even sure he noticed how hard the blond was trying to get away from him.
“Merlin, you’re not coming with me.”
“You said that I was under your protection.”
“So?”
“So do you really want me sitting on some street corner all day with…what was his name? Alvarr? With people like him around? Or knowing me I would end up on the wrong street corner and get arrested or something like that.”
If Merlin noticed Arthur’s wince, he didn’t say anything about it.
“And then I would end up in jail and everyone would think that you were really crap when it came to protecting people, so really you have to let me come with you even if it is just to save your own skin.” Merlin had somehow picked up the pace and ended up in front of Arthur even as he spoke. The smile was back on his face despite there still being dark circles under his eyes and he looked so pleased with his argument that Arthur was grinning before he realised what he was doing.
“I have to let you come with me to save face? What if I just left you somewhere?”
“Please, Arthur. I don’t know my way around, I don’t know the best places to go. Just for a day or so, just point out somewhere. Help me?”
Arthur stopped walking as he faced Merlin properly. None of the cheekiness that had been present before was there now. He looked lost and scared and Arthur suddenly remembered how he first felt when he found himself alone. There had been no one to guide him and he had made the mistake of trusting Alvarr. That had almost cost him dearly although Arthur had been fortunate enough to gain his own footing without doing anything he regretted. But he didn’t think he would ever forget the terror of realising that he had nothing and had no idea how to get it. That same terror was in Merlin’s eyes now. It didn’t matter how long he had been on the streets for, coming to a new area meant starting again. He knew what he was risking by coming here and yet things had obviously been desperate enough that he had done it anyway.
Arthur may not have had anyone to help him, but that didn’t mean he had to do the same as Merlin.
“Do try and keep up then,” he muttered tersely, striding off and this time not stopping. “And I get the blanket.” He called over his shoulder, hearing a sharp intake of breath as Merlin clearly tried to control his feelings before hurried footsteps revealed the younger man hurrying after him.
“You won’t even know that I’m there,” he promised, staying quiet as he began shadowing Arthur towards the blond’s usual spot. Somehow, Arthur doubted that.
He was right.
Merlin might have stayed quiet while they made their way to the street that Arthur had been sitting on every day for three months now. He practically hid behind Arthur when the old lady who ran the café nodded at them, but then seemed to relax when Arthur nodded and smiled back. Arthur tried to break the tension by telling Merlin how she had let him come in and sit down once when it had been pouring with rain and since then, she had always been more tolerant of him being around her area. He never hassled anyone and she didn’t have a good reason to complain. More than once he had managed to earn himself a hot drink by helping out with her deliveries. Arthur knew that up until now the fact he was on his own had helped because he was less of a threat. He didn’t tell Merlin that though, and something told him that she wouldn’t see the young man as a threat. Merlin looked as if he would blow over in a strong breeze rather than cause trouble.
But once they were sitting down, Merlin seemed more at ease. It took him less than half an hour until he had subtly nudged Arthur over so that he could share the blanket. Arthur let him, never having any real intention of letting him have the ground when there was space for both to sit down. He thought it would be irritating having someone else there after spending so long sitting on his own, but he was completely wrong.
In fact, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing for most of the day. It started with Merlin muttering snide comments under his breath about anyone that passed them, especially if they were shot scathing looks by those more fortunate. Arthur intended to ignore it, but they were so accurate that he couldn’t help but laugh. It had gone from just observations to the two of them simply talking and joking about all afternoon. Mrs Henderson from the café brought them a flask of tea late in the afternoon when a drizzle started up and they huddled together, sharing it as they took small sips and let the warmth seep into their bodies. Arthur took it back as Merlin folded up the blanket, slipping the slip of paper she passed him deep into his pocket and giving the old woman a nod.
But as Merlin began to lead the way back to the alleyway, Arthur put out a hand to stop him.
“Let’s go somewhere else,” he muttered. He didn’t want Merlin anywhere near Alvarr. While he was not the innocent that he looked to be on the surface, Arthur knew there was something about Merlin. Despite the hardships he had clearly been through, he still had a sense of purity that Arthur hadn’t seen in months. He knew it was selfish of him, but Merlin had made him laugh. No one had done that for months and Arthur felt he was remembering what it meant to be alive. He didn’t want the threat of having to sleep with one eye open to destroy the very essence of Merlin. How he could make so many judgements after knowing him for not yet 24 hours, Arthur didn’t know. But he had offered his protection and that was what he intended to give, no matter what he had to do in order to accomplish that.
“Do you know anywhere?” Merlin asked quietly and it was a forceful reminder to Arthur that he was new in town. Why did he feel like he had known him forever? Arthur smiled and nodded, turning in the opposite direction. They had all grouped together there because there was safety in numbers. But he wasn’t alone any more, and that suddenly made the city a much larger place.
Merlin hurried after him, flicking the blanket until it rested across the back of their shoulders as he joined Arthur. Unable to stop himself, Arthur smiled and walked that little bit closer to the man.
For the first time in three months, he wasn’t alone.
And he knew precisely how dangerous that was for Merlin.