Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Part I -- Encounter

"Rikugo?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Dark eyes glanced at his companion and the astrologer smiled. "You know you can ask me anything, Tsuzuki."

It drew a light smile. "Well, yeah. Just asking."

"What's the question?"

The shinigami looked out over the wide expanse of GensouKai. They were sitting on top of Rikugo's palace, watching the approaching dusk. Tsuzuki had come by just as Rikugo had planned on spending a night watching the stars, studying the old charts, maybe add a few new observations to the old. He did that once a while, and the last time had been actually decades ago.

"Why can't you and Sohryu stand each other?"

The blond shikigami briefly closed his eyes, a fine smile playing over his features. "It's not like we hate each other, Tsuzuki," he pointed out.

Amethyst eyes turned to look at him. Tsuzuki's face was set in a serious expression. "I wasn't saying 'hate'. I said you can't stand each other. I know you don't like him, Rikugo. You once mentioned he isn't fit to lead you."

A sigh. "Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"It's... complicated."

"Uncomplicate it for me?"

He looked at his shinigami master, wondering what was going on behind those unusually colored eyes. Tsuzuki was hard to read sometimes, while being completely open and accessible at other times. Without using his other eyes, Rikugo had no chance of finding out what was going on, and he would never scan his master without permission.

"Sohryu and I go back a long time," he finally said, tearing his gaze away from those fascinating eyes. He resumed his vigil over the stars. "Aside from Genbu, Sohryu's one of the oldest Gods. His destiny was always clear to us and to him. He had been born to the Sky Dragon, the oldest son and heir to the power and title. He was raised to become our leader and I was one of his teachers."

Tsuzuki just raised an eyebrow, but he didn't comment.

"When he became one of the four Gods after his father's untimely demise in the first GensouKai war, he was very young. But he lead our people and won. He served the Emperor and he served us. But the wars to come changed him, changed his perception of life. He began to distrust visitors, he began to hate those who claimed shikigami as their servants."

Tsuzuki nodded. "Well, I know that hatred personally," he murmured.

Rikugo smiled faintly. Yes, Tsuzuki did. The hatred had launched a challenge that had nearly killed the young man at his side, but which had ultimately bound Sohryu to this incredible person.

"You changed him, Tsuzuki. Never doubt that. He was different before he met you, very different. His hostility was what broke my trust in him as a leader. He wanted us to live secluded from your world, to pull away. When we had to move into the realm of the computer net, when we removed ourselves from your dimension, it was just a first step in many for him to cut us off from what defines us. I fought him on that move, but I lost."

Rikugo sighed softly. It had been a harsh fight, one where auras had clashed, where wills had battled, and where Sohryu had used his innate power and his status to finally defeat Rikugo.

"But it saved you," Tsuzuki argued.

"Yes, it did. I confess that we survived in much better shape because we went into the net, but it cost us. In the beginning we had to reestablish everything. It was a difficult time."

"You survived," Tsuzuki repeated calmly.

Rikugo met those violet eyes, smiling. "We survived," he agreed. "We stepped back, we gave up, and we survived. But it didn't stop there. Sohryu became obsessed with our safety, with finding new enemies, and it destroyed my faith in him as a leader. When his wife died, things became even more difficult."

"He shoulders a great responsibility," the shinigami at his side murmured. "He's responsible for your survival. He made sacrifices for the greater good. It didn't help that I actually mastered him, hm?" There was a brief smile.

"Actually, it gave him a new perspective of things." Rikugo looked into the now almost dark sky. "Like it gave me a new perspective. You changed us, but the distrust is still there. I can't follow him blindly, Tsuzuki. I have to second guess him, I have to find the reasons for his moves."

"Maybe that makes you more of an ally to him than an enemy. Your opposition makes him rethink plans, too."

"I doubt it. He always does what he decided on."

"Are you sure?"

"He's the Azure Dragon of the Sky, the Protector of the East, a God," Rikugo told him. "His word is the law, it rules."

Amethyst eyes narrowed a little. "But you don't know that. You never knew his initial plan, you only know the results."

"True."

"So... maybe he needs you to be a thorn in his side to be what he is, Rikugo. Maybe he needs someone to oppose him, to get his blood going, to tear him out of routine. I know he works hard. His job's not easy and all the chocolate cake in the world can't make him take a break on a regular basis." Tsuzuki grinned a little. "He needs to be hit out of the blue to jolt him back onto the right course. Maybe that's you."

"And you?" Rikugo added mildly.

"Yeah, well, while I'm here I try to do my best. When he gets one of those moods where he's ready to tear my head off I'm not so sure I've got an impact."

Sohryu had been, mildly put, completely furious with Tsuzuki for a while. Tsuzuki knew why. He had tried to commit suicide, using Touda, and Sohryu hadn't forgiven him lightly. Maybe he never had, but at least the permanent scowl was gone, as was the narrow-eyed look of ever-lasting criticism. Touda's later freedom from the visor, his pardon, all that had added to things.

"You have an impact on all of us," Rikugo told him calmly.

Tsuzuki had no reply for it, but his aura wafted off him in gentle waves, touching Rikugo's, making him relax. It was simply Tsuzuki, that strange mix of innocence and darkness, of warmth and ruthlessness. Two souls that lived in one body and which were so entwined they were inseparable. Whether he carried demon blood and power or not, Rikugo couldn't care less. The result was what counted, and the result was a fascinating individual who held such incredible power.

*

Rikugo stood in his study, paging through an old text. He finally lowered the ancient book and took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. His mind wasn't really on his work. It was revolving around a tall, blue-haired God with an attitude that irked him like nothing else. What he had told Tsuzuki had been the truth, but a part had been missing. The part about the private matter between the two shikigami. The part that was a well-kept secret.

Well, mostly secret. Genbu knew, but only because he knew everything there was about his student. Rikugo didn't mind.

He sat down at his work table and stared at the charts and papers without seeing anything. Instead his inner eyes recalled a lithe, muscular body, perfectly toned; a face radiating nothing but intense pleasure; eyes the color of the sky throughout a thunder storm, glowing with something so intense, it took his breath away; long hair, held back haphazardly by a loose ribbon, cascading down a strong back.

No one knew. No one. And Sohryu pushed the affair away.

Affair.

Rikugo huffed. More like an ongoing fight. His body remembered those encounters, wild and steamy and filled with the dominating power of a sky god, mixed with the strong aura of someone who delved into the secrets of the universe. Two bodies entwined; not once but again and again. Not love but lust. Not release but an ongoing tension.

They had gotten together over a fight. It had been one of those arguments that had ended with auras flaring, with Sohryu gritting his teeth, snarling something uncomplimentary, and with Rikugo flinging the same back at him. All their arguments went down like this, with tempers rising, voices as well, and finally one of the two combatants leaving the other.

Back then it had been different.

Back then Sohryu hadn't turned. He had advanced on him, Rikugo's power flared, and then he was pushed against the wall, looking into fiery eyes.

Fiery.

Hot.

And something had snapped.

Rikugo couldn't explain the frenzy that had then taken over, as mouth crushed into each other, as hands tore off clothes, as bodies fought for dominance. Neither wanted to give in, but Rikugo had finally surrendered with a sharp cry as Sohryu pushed himself inside him. There had been nothing gentle about the encounter, nothing refined. It had been wild and unrestrained, down and dirty.

Sohryu had left him where he had weakly collapsed, gasping for breath, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

No, he had never understood.

It hadn't been the last time, either.

It had meant nothing, but it had happened again and again.

All that changed over time was the fact that it grew gentler, but not loving. Dominance fights were still prevailing and Sohryu didn't always win. Rikugo suspected that the other dragon wanted to be pushed down and just be the passive part once in a while.

He gladly did so.

It was what described them. They would never find a common ground, neither in public nor in private. They would never find peace, just more reasons to fight, to release their pent-up energy and anger. Rikugo knew that Sohryu would never admit defeat and neither would he. It was a vicious cycle that could not be broken. He would never submit and Sohryu was... Sohryu.

He was a dragon.

Dragons never submitted -- even if this one had been mastered.

But never tamed.

The astrologer pushed his glasses back onto his nose.

He couldn't get free of the powerful man who rubbed him all the wrong ways. Sohryu couldn't free himself of his thorn either. They were bound together, unbreakable, and for all his words about Sohryu not fitting his role of their leader, Rikugo had no ambitions to take over. It was the last thing on his mind.

Maybe we've been helping each other all the time, he mused.

He wanted it to happen, even though he fought back each time. Sohryu never gave any indication that he preferred him over countless shikigami he could have had to fulfil his needs.

No emotions.

Never emotions.

Rikugo smoothed the creases in a chart.

No, emotions got in the way. It was too complicated and emotions wouldn't solve anything. They never talked about what had happened; it had never happened. So many things... so many nights and days... so many moments... and they had never happened.

And their relationship in this life out there, in GensouKai, didn't get better, but it also didn't get worse. They tolerated the other's presence, they drifted toward each other, meeting in an explosion of need and hatred of it, in lust and denial of it.

Rikugo smiled slightly. No, he would never confess to anything concerning Sohryu, and the dragon would rather cut his own tongue out than to say something to Rikugo.

It'll kill us one day, he mused. Unless we tear each other apart before that happens. Fire would burn Earth, Earth would bury and extinguish the fiery flame.

Destiny.

* * *

He didn't need this.

He -- didn't -- need -- this!

He was perfectly fine. Always had been, currently was, and always would be!

The tall, dark-haired man stalked across the impeccable lawn, ignoring the beautiful, landscaped trees and bushes, glaring at whatever got in his way.

He didn't need a vacation! He was fine! And he especially didn't need a vacation in this place!

Glaring at the sky he wondered how he could get home without his partner noticing, without his baby-sitter noticing...

Weeks in this rotten, damned place. Time to 'unwind', as his partner had put it.

He was unwound, darnit!

What he needed was less of Tsuzuki Asato! The man drove him nuts. He was a constant nuisance, a source of anger and dismay. Why did he have twelve shikigami at his command when he chose to wile away his days in the office, eating sweets and making others do his reports? Why had no one ever downgraded him from angel of death to whatever he might possibly be capable of? Because one thing was for sure, Tsuzuki was no worker. He was a lazy moron with half a brain and way too much leniency.

Red eyes glared on.

He had never liked the man and he wouldn't start doing so ever. Tsuzuki was a thorn, a shame of the department. How could Enma-Daiou ever have chosen this... this moron? This dim-witted idiot?

"Okay, here we are."

He looked at the palace in front of him and huffed. Oh hell, his youth hostel, right?

Terazuma Hajime was not in a good mood. He rarely was anyway, but today his mood had taken a dive for the worst. Endless days in GensouKai. Endless days surrounded by shikigami. And that was supposed to help him with his so-called problems?

He had no problems, thank you very much! Aside from a way too cheerful partner and an incapable colleague.

His baby-sitter, to top it all of, was a shikigami in the service of his despised colleague. Byakko had greeted him, smiling brightly, radiating unrestrained energy and life. Shit, he hated cheerful people!

Terazuma grunted something in reply to Byakko's announcement.

Weeks.

He could do a few weeks among shikigami. He didn't have to talk to them, he didn't have to even like them... he could do this.

* * *

Terazuma was frustrated.

One day in GensouKai had started to wear him thin. Thinner than usual, that is. The Black One was growling at him, close to the surface like he only was on rainy days, and it was getting harder and harder to push away the anger and helplessness and frustration.

Why was he here?

Because Wakaba thought it would help him get in touch with his shikigami. Because things had gotten out of hand, transformations had multiplied, and Terazuma had developed a chain-smoking habit. Every little thing irked him. Everything was too much.

And the pressure of the Black One inside him grew.

The shikigami lion reacted to his rising stress level, wanted to get out and protect him from an invisible enemy that couldn't be fought by brute force, and Terazuma felt his strength wane.

After a particularly nasty encounter with Tsuzuki which had ended with him transforming, Tatsumi had had enough. He had forced the vacation on Terazuma, with Konoe agreeing to it, and Wakaba had happily helped. All his protests that he was needed, that there might be cases to handle, had been deflected. If there were too many cases for all the remaining seventeen shinigami to handle, Terazuma would be called back. But only then. Not any sooner.

Of course, Tsuzuki was involved in a way. He knew close to all shikigami in GensouKai center and Terazuma had been given a baby-sitter while he was here. Terazuma was to stay with Byakko and find a way to unwind.

He snorted.

Right!

Partners, he mused grumpily, who needed them? Not that he didn't need Wakaba, she was the one pulling him back when the Black One took over. He hated that, hated that he needed someone... and of course the impossibility to touch people, to be touched. He had no idea what triggered his shikigami that way, why the black lion felt the urge to protect him when a woman came near... but it was frustrating!

Okay, so he could be touched by a man, but Terazuma Hajime didn't feel attracted to guys, uh-hn, no way! Especially not to a certain violet eyed colleague who drove him to insanity with his incompetence... he growled at the very thought and threw himself under a tree near a quiet little lake.

Damn shikigami! Who needed them anyway?

He hadn't wanted the lion. He had never wanted a shikigami. Becoming stronger through a shikigami wasn't true strength; he would never rely on such an addition to his own magic as a shinigami. But he had been forced to join with the parasite and had had to live with the fallout ever since.

Tsuzuki had twelve of them, non-parasitic, and what did that say about his strength? Overcompensation or what?

Another snort.

Staring off into space Terazuma cooled down a little, allowing his thoughts to stray, and closed his eyes, enjoying the warm summer breeze that ruffled his hair.

Something splashed.

Opening his eyes Terazuma's breath caught in his throat for a second when he watched an apparition step out of the water of the lake. Tall and slender, yet with well defined muscles, the long blue hair glistening in the afternoon sun the man shrugged off some droplets before he stepped toward a robe that had been draped over a nearby bush. Intense blue-gray eyes regarded him, and Terazuma blushed, suddenly realizing that he was staring at the naked man.

Sliding into his robe the man watched him curiously before he sat down just beside him. Terazuma felt the heat rise in his face again and looked away, everywhere but into the man's face.

"So, you found my hiding place," the man said in a pleasantly rich baritone voice that, in addition to the proximity, made Terazuma shudder a little.

"Sorry," he mumbled, fishing for his cigarettes and lighting a new one.

"Don't be," the man answered levelly. "It's rare that I have such nice company."

Terazuma coughed.

The stranger regarded him thoughtfully. "You shouldn't smoke, especially not when carrying a shikigami. But I suppose you know that already."

"Yeah, I know that," was the dismissive answer and Terazuma defiantly took another drag from his cigarette.

Of course he knew his shikigami didn't like smokes. Ever since he had gotten that damned lion his senses had become sharper than normal people's. But he suppressed them. He didn't need those advantages to work his job. In the process, he had alienated himself from the shikigami he carried and his colleagues.

Who needed them anyway?

Terazuma shot the stranger a dark look. Thank you for reminding me!

"How come you're carrying a parasite shikigami? That costs lots of energy and isn't always harmless."

"I wasn't asked," Terazuma growled.

No, he hadn't been asked. He hadn't been told what would happen. He had had no idea. As for the energy... well, he managed.

Again he was given a strange look. "Kagankokushunkei," he murmured. "Odd."

Terazuma stared at him, the cigarette almost dropping from his open mouth. "You know his name?" he blurted.

That got him a smile. "Of course. I can feel his presence, his aura. There aren't that many parasitic types in GensouKai with that strength. I just can't place you, shinigami. News of such a union travels fast, especially when a parasite is involved."

"I didn't choose that cat!" Terazuma spat. "I inherited him and now he's making my life a living hell -- for all eternity, because unfortunately I'm a shinigami! I can't die. And I can't get rid of him either!"

Another long look, then the stranger nodded. "That sounds as if you have a problem."

"You have no idea..."

"Why did you inherit him?"

He refused to answer.

"Parasites are by nature very protective of their hosts and for them to jump to another, the prior host must have either died or been ascended."

Why couldn't the guy shut up? Terazuma raged silently.

"Usually, when an ascension happens the shikigami is set free in GensouKai. Since that didn't happen with you that makes me consider another option. His first host died."

"I didn't kill him!" Terazuma snarled, "if that's what you want to know! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time! I was stupid! I was conned into this and now I can't back out again!"

He erupted from his place and shot the shikigami a dark glare for bringing up that particular topic, for even asking him about his shikigami, for simply existing.

And then he turned on his heels and left without so much as a good-bye.

Anger and rage boiled through him and the Black One moved restlessly. Terazuma gnashed his teeth, started to walk more briskly, until he finally broke into a run.

He ran for a long time, finally out of breath, his mind blank and still upset.

It wasn't until sunset that he returned to the palace. And it wasn't until the very early morning hours that he found a measure of rest.

* * *

It took another twenty-four hours for him to return to the lake, but only because there seemed to be no other place that had this peace, this harmony, and Terazuma scolded himself for going. Still, he did.

In a way he wasn't surprised to find the shikigami there, reclining against a tree, eyes closed, bathing in the sun that made it through the foliage. As Terazuma approached, the blue-gray eyes opened and the man smiled.

"You came back."

He stopped, undecided. "Yeah," he muttered.

Terazuma gazed at the other, meeting the inquiring eyes, and finally the man smiled.

"I don't bite," he said mildly. "And I'll gladly share this place with you."

Terazuma hesitated again, then finally nodded and walked closer, still keeping a respectful distance.

"I apologize for yesterday. I was rude."

"And I was asking personal questions. It's my place to apologize in turn," the blue-haired shikigami replied calmly.

"You sensed the Black One. I guess you were curious." Terazuma sat down cross-legged.

"I rarely meet shinigami who have parasite shikigami."

"Meet one of the novelties," the former detective muttered, feeling disgusted at himself again.

"You really don't like him, hm?"

A shrug. "I could do without, I guess."

"You said you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never heard of a forced possession."

Terazuma heard the underlying question and he struggled with his inner self whether or not to tell this shikigami what had happened. Finally he relented to the need to have someone know, to tell someone who wasn't a guilt-ridden partner.

Blue-gray eyes regarded him silently, waiting. The shinigami raked a hand through his hair, trying to find the calm center he always had when he partook in his passion: archery. Finally he raised his head, those shikigami eyes still watching him.

"I was a rookie," he said softly. "I was new to this whole business and I wasn't good working with someone else. Before I died I was a police officer and I didn't like partnering up back then either. But it was mandatory, so I tagged along with an older pair. They were supposed to show me the ropes. Something went wrong. Things got out of hand." He shuddered at the memories. "Jun... the Black One's former host... he was dying. I was there and he... he forced him on me. I had no choice; no one asked me. And no one stopped him."

He fell quiet, hands clenching as those dark moments returned, as he saw the bloody and torn and dying form of Jun once more. There had been no hope. Shinigami healed, but there were things that could kill them. Devils, for instance. Devils who knew what to throw at them, who had lured them into a trap, who had wanted to kill both the shinigami and his shikigami.

His life had been hell ever since.

"I never wanted a shikigami," he muttered angrily. "Relying on someone else makes you weak. Using a shikigami's strength to grow stronger is just cheating!"

Terazuma didn't know what had gotten into him, but he found he blurted out his story to this stranger, who just sat at his side and listened closely, asking a question here and there. Heck, the guy was a shikigami and he had just more or less told him that he would never trust one of his kind in battle.

"You think the shikigami makes his shinigami stronger?"

"Yeah. Why else challenge one of you and bind you to a master?"

There was a smile on those handsome features. "Yes, why? But now you have a shikigami, one who serves you."

"Yeah, and I hate every day of my life."

A tilt of the head. "You do have a bleak outlook on life."

Terazuma didn't answer and they sat in mutual silence until the stranger broke it.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go now," he said calmly. "My job calls and I hate to have the people looking for me discover this spot. If you need to talk again, you'll find me here almost every day, same time like today."

Terazuma nodded and watched as the man took a gray overcoat and threw it over his shoulders. Somehow just sitting there and have someone listen, someone who neither knew nor judged him -- it had been unexpectedly refreshing.

Then something occurred to him

"Hey," he called, "I don't even know your name."

The man looked at him over his shoulders and smiled.

"My name is Sohryu."

And then he was gone.

Terazuma leaned back against the tree, mind wandering, noticing with surprise that for the first time in a long time he felt at ease with the world in general and himself in particular.

* * *

Another day in GensouKai passed with what could be called normality, but for Terazuma it was anything but normal. This was a world inside a computer, a digital world, once real but now just part of the world wide web, or something like it. Nothing here was real. Then again, how real was Meifu?

He had no idea if this world really would help him settle down the Black One. True, he hadn't had a transformation for twenty-four hours now, but that meant little.

Byakko, his host, showed thankfully little of himself. Servants brought the food and he was left to his own devices for now. Terazuma appreciated it. He was a loner by nature. He hated crowds, he hated attention.

But he found himself walking back toward the lake again, strangely apprehensive. He had thought about his meeting with the blue-haired shikigami and for some reason it had felt good to talk. It was like he had finally been able to get some issues off his chest without screaming at someone, mostly Wakaba who already nurtured enough guilt at his 'condition'.

Yes, it had been good.

When Terazuma found himself approaching the clearing and the small lake he felt hesitation bloom inside him, and at the same time his heart was starting to hammer in his chest.

What the hell? This wasn't a frigging date or something.

But the closer he got to the lake the more nervous he became. Was it because he hoped Sohryu would be there or that he wouldn't? But then he walked past the trees, stepping into the small clearing and there he was, sitting comfortably and relaxed against the same tree as yesterday. Sohryu didn't turn his head, but Terazuma knew that he had been detected all along. That man was a shikigami after all.

"I don't bite," he said in that deep voice and Terazuma started, realizing he had been standing there and had stared -- again. Great.

"Uh -- sorry," he muttered, sliding down beside him, picking another cigarette. His initial one, the one after breakfast, had been reduced to a stub long ago.

"I'd be thankful if you could cut down your nicotine consummation a little, at least here."

"Uh -- do all shikigami have extended senses?"

"Most of us, yes. I'm very surprised you can stand that stuff."

"At least it won't kill me anymore," he muttered and stuffed the cigarette package into his pockets.

"And you consider that an advantage?"

A fine blue eyebrow cocked, eyes glittering with amusement watched him, and Terazuma shook his head.

"It's something I brought over from my former life. Sometimes I just do it to piss off people."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence before Sohryu spoke again. "You never told me your name yesterday."

"Hn? Terazuma. Terazuma Hajime."

"Nice to meet you, Terazuma."

"Thanks for yesterday."

"I didn't do anything," Sohryu only answered.

"You listened." Terazuma didn't look at him, just studied the cold cigarette in his hands.

"You never told your partner about this?"

He snorted. "How could I? She blames herself for my condition." He gestured at his face and body in general. "Wasn't like I didn't yell and scream at her in the first few days," he continued softly. "Not only had I found out I had become a shinigami because I couldn't let go of my life, now I also was host to a parasite and looked like a freak!"

Sohryu studied him. "Why couldn't you let go?"

That was a very personal question and Terazuma felt something inside of him clench at the memories once more.

"I was a police detective. I died on the job," he muttered. "I was just so fucking mad... I didn't expect it, and I didn't expect the killer to be a colleague. If I had been better, if I hadn't been so close-minded and hard-headed, I would have seen it sooner. As it was, he shot me and my partner."

"And you clung to that hatred." Sohryu nodded to himself. "And you still do, just that you now hate your shikigami as well."

"I don't hate him."

"No?"

"I just don't like him, okay? He changed me. Not just physically. I can live with the eyes and the ears and the stripes... hell, even with the transformations."

Sohryu held the red eyes, his own expression giving nothing away. "Then what is the problem?"

Terazuma shuddered a little. "I can't be touched."

That drew a surprised expression and he sighed.

"When a woman touches me... wham! The Black One comes out. It needs Wakaba to help me take control, to push him back." A derisive smile crossed his lips. "Sometimes I think she's more like my tamer than my partner."

Sohryu winced. "She fights him with ofuda?"

"Yeah."

"You know that it hurts him."

"Yeah..." Of course it did. The pain was what drove the creature back, gave him control of his body again, left him with shame and embarrassment and such anger... "Yeah, I know," Terazuma whispered. "But it's the only way. I lose myself in him whenever he comes out. I can't do anything. He destroys... everything. Just one touch and everything goes down the drain."

Sohryu was silent for a long, long time, gazing out over the lake, and Terazuma avoided looking at the handsome man at his side. He was talking about his shikigami with another shikigami, and he was telling him about the abuse the Black One was going through. Great move.

"Terazuma, I think part of your problem is that you don't like your shikigami," Sohryu finally said. "He senses that. Parasite shikigami have a mind of their own, but they are guardian spirits nevertheless. He protects you if he thinks you're in danger, he will even sacrifice himself for you if necessary. He might not follow orders if he doesn't like them, but still -- he wants your approval. You're his master after all and a strong master."

Terazuma snorted. "What does that mean, he wants my approval? I wasn't asked if I wanted him, and neither was he!"

"Yes, but still he is your shikigami."

"Then why make this fuss about women?"

"Stress level? You and him are conditioned in that way."

Terazuma let his head sink. "I haven't been touched in decades... It's..." he murmured, then stopped, embarrassment creeping over his cheeks.

"Frustrating?" Sohryu suggested. "Maybe he knows something you don't... Have you ever tried a man?"

"What?!" Terazuma exploded, staring at the shikigami as if he had lost his mind. "Are you completely nuts? I'm not... gay or something. I like women, okay? I'm not into men! I'm not gay!"

Amused blue-gray eyes watched him as he paced. "Neither am I. None of us is. Actually," he added at the red glare, "something like ‘gay' doesn't exist in GensouKai. We are a little bit more flexible and open concerning our partner choices."

Terazuma growled softly and tore the unlit cigarette out between his teeth, grinding it into the dirt.

"I don't care what you have here, but in my world ‘gay' exists and I'm not one of them!"

Sohryu smiled. "Of course not."

Terazuma snarled softly. "You mean, if you... then you... ?"

Sohryu chuckled. "It means when I like someone I like someone. If both want to express their feelings through physical contact, giving and receiving pleasure, so be it. Besides, it's a damn good way to relax, and you look very tense to me. Maybe both you and your shikigami would benefit from a little relaxation exercise, don't you think?"

Terazuma gaped. And glared. And blushed.

"Are you coming on to me here?!" he blurted in disbelief.

"Would you turn me down?"

"I've known you for only a day..."

Terazuma couldn't believe his own ears -- he was really saying something like that? Why not give the other guy a piece of his mind, tell him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his offer and get the hell out of here? But no...

"It's not a matter of time, and you know that."

"I..."

Terazuma's anxiety level rose. He felt the shikigami inside of him stir.

There was a hint of movement and he whirled around, the lion snarling -- only to cower down and almost crawl under the cover of Terazuma's mind. He was briefly surprised by the reaction, one he had noticed before, then his view was filled by a handsome face and warm eyes.

"You need to relax," Sohryu told him and Terazuma shivered.

"I need to get out of here!" the former detective rasped. "I..."

Suddenly there was nothing more to say. Not that he wouldn't want to -- but due to the hot lips that were neatly pressed onto his Terazuma didn't get the chance. He gasped and felt a skillful hot tongue gently probe his mouth, fingers sneaking around his neck and pulling him closer -- and then he was kissed thoroughly, keenly and expertly.

When Sohryu pulled back after what appeared to be an eternity Terazuma stared at him in utter shock.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Hm. You can still talk -- I'm losing my touch..."

And then those lips were back on his, even more passionately then before, and Terazuma couldn't do anything but moan and clench his fingers into the other one's shirt. Heat was coiling inside of him, spreading through his entire body and when he felt teasing fingers slide over the tips of his ear and caress his neck that heat concentrated itself way down south.

Terazuma moaned again as the strong hands caressed his stiff back, teased muscled into relaxation, and then there was a warm, moist tongue and a hot mouth and nothing else. Years of frustration and tension, of anxiety and anger melted into the kiss, a kiss that grew more aggressive by the moment.

I'm not gay, he thought faintly. I'm not... I can't be...

But it felt so good. It felt so incredibly good and wonderful and... more... much more.

Those hands were everywhere, under his shirt, on his skin, making him writhe for more. He wanted... wanted...

A soft mouth nibbled down his neck and he whimpered, clutching the strong shoulders of the other man.

"Terazuma," Sohryu murmured, licking at one ear.

When had he come up from his neck to his ear? Terazuma wondered faintly.

He was lowered onto his back, looking up into those fascinating eyes, and his hands came up to touch, but then he hesitated.

"You're allowed to touch me," Sohryu breathed, kissing him again. "I want you to touch me."

Tentatively he ran a hand through the silky blue mane, exploring the soft texture of the strands, accidentally brushing over a pointed ear and wandering over the skin of the neck. Sohryu made a soft little sound and slightly leaned into the touch, closing his eyes briefly. Those skillful fingers brushed over his ribcage, caressing naked skin ... and he panicked.

Sohryu pulled back. "I never force myself on anybody," he said calmly. "You're not ready. I'm sorry."

Terazuma blushed -- hell, what was he, a teenager in puberty, for crying out loud? -- and sat up again, feeling very much self-conscious right now.

"Uh... "

A little chuckle answered him. "Seems I still have my touch, though."

"Sohryu... "

"It's all right," Sohryu lifted a hand. "I have to go anyway." Terazuma found his face cupped gently, fingertips caressing his ears, and despite his panic he felt the intense urge to purr.

"Cat shikigami are very sensuous, Hajime, and he shares that sensitivity with you. If you deprive the both of you from physical sensations, it will drive him crazy... and you need to be touched, too. I'll be here, tomorrow, if you need to talk."

"Sohryu..." he stammered, feeling cornered.

"As I said, it's all right."

And with that, Sohryu left. Terazuma watched the slender figure pick his way through the trees and then disappear. Something inside of him shivered and it wasn't the Black One.

* * *

Terazuma didn't go to the lake the next day, nor the day after. He was wandering around GensouKai, taking in the scenery at the marketplace, watching the people -- all different kind of shikigami, he mused, and each of them had probably the same mind-set about sex like Sohryu.

Sohryu ...

There was something about the blue-haired shikigami that made him nervous. He remembered only too vividly how the lips had felt on his, or the way his skin had tingled where it had been touched, how his body had reacted... but he wasn't gay, damnit! Terazuma Hajime didn't swing that way, never had, never would be!

But he had kissed a man.

It had felt so good; better than any touch of a woman, at least as far as he could remember.

He had responded to Sohryu, had kissed him back.

A man.

He had kissed a man, touched him ...

And liked it.

He wasn't gay ...

He just liked kissing a man.

His imagination started to run down a certain track as he imagined the body he had seen, lean and tall, hard muscles instead of soft curves, and between the legs... Terazuma swallowed. Would he... could he... touch him there? Feel another man's arousal ... ?

No way!

Because he wasn't gay!

But damn, was it warm here, or what?

Terazuma groaned.

Two days later he couldn't stand it anymore.

Stepping into the small clearing he looked for Sohryu, feeling a little disappointed when he couldn't spot the tall shikigami anywhere. He hadn't been able to sleep properly, and more than once his body had reminded him unmistakably of what it wanted.

Terazuma sank down onto the soft grass, leaning against ‘his' tree and closed his eyes. Had he really thought Sohryu would come? Had he really thought the shikigami would wait for him? Why should he? He certainly could find other bed partners... and why the hell was that thought bothering him all of a sudden?!

Someone came.

Terazuma felt his heart skip a beat before starting to hammer, but he didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was -- his senses were sharp, and he would recognize that scent everywhere: fresh and a little salty, like a spring day at the beach.

"Hajime."

Gods, and that voice...

Terazuma turned his head and took in the tall, slender figure in those simple clothes. Like before he wore nothing but straight cut, black pants, a light, long-sleeved shirt that showed a little traditional influence but wasn't embroidered, and the hair was held back in a pony tail. Ribbons had been wrapped tightly around a good length of it, taming the mass. Terazuma had no idea how the man could even start brushing that stuff. But he was more interested in the whole of the package.

Ah hell, no! Down boy!

I'm not gay! he raged.

But he found the man smiling down at him very, very attractive. Terazuma couldn't remember ever looking after men, giving them more than a cursory check that was more to determine their danger level than their sexuality. Sohryu... Sohryu touched something, stirred something inside him, and he wanted more of that kiss.

He had felt good. So... good...

"Sohryu..." he greeted him, feeling a bit hesitant.

Why had he come here? Because he liked the place? Definite yes. It soothed his senses. Because he wanted to meet Sohryu again? Well, yes, that too. The man... Terazuma sighed as several descriptions passed through his head and all of them were quite... fitting.

He looked away.

Sohryu smiled. "Your shikigami seems to be getting better," he remarked and settled down beside Terazuma.

The shinigami was quite aware of the close proximity of the other warm body and it sent tingles through him.

For now he just grunted something affirmative.

"But you two still haven't reached a level where the true healing can start."

"I didn't come here to get rehab or something," Terazuma growled. "I wasn't asked. I don't even like this place!"

Blue-gray eyes regarded him calmly. "And here I thought I could detect a note of relaxation. It always helps me, Hajime. It's one of the most balanced spots in GensouKai center. The energies running through this place are harmonious, made for soothing pain and anxiety."

"I'm not in pain and I'm not anxious! Thank you very much!"

His tension rose and he wondered why. It wasn't like he felt threatened by Sohryu. On the contrary.

I'm not gay!

Now desperation clung to his thinking and he screwed his eyes shut. He wasn't into men. Never had been, never would be! He was straight as an arrow! Just because there was a lack of sexual activity in his life, male or female.... His mind screeched to a halt.

No!

Inhaling shakily, he rubbed over his forehead.

"Pain doesn't always have to be physical. Your shikigami..."

"Leave that thing out of it! I don't need him, I don't need you, I don't need anything!"

Terazuma was about to rise when Sohryu moved. His hand shot forward, closing around his wrist and with a swift motion he had Terazuma pulled across his lap. Terazuma found himself straddling the other man's hips, able to feel much of the other's body.

"You have highly receptive senses, Hajime. You have his senses. I told you that both of you are sensuous. You're mutilating yourself by refusing anyone to touch you."

"People touch me..." he argued weakly.

"A handshake? A brush of shoulders? That's not touching. That's more like an accidental contact." Sohryu's eyes were as warm as his voice. "You're capable of feeling so much more. Let me show you..."

Terazuma trembled a little, feeling out of control. He hated to lose control, he needed it, but this man had just single-handedly blown away everything.

"Trust me..." Sohryu whispered. "You are able to feel my touch before I even lay a finger on you. Close your eyes."

He swallowed but obeyed. He didn't need to concentrate to sense the air move ever so slightly when Sohryu brought his hand up and the heat of the other man's body, radiating from the fingertips that hadn't even touched the skin on his neck. Just millimeters above his skin the fingertips were caressing him, brushing over the hair that was standing up because of the goose bumps. Neck, throat, ears and jaw line without making contact to the exposed skin, and Terazuma let his head fall back, becoming more and more aware of the other body close to him. Then the fingertips did touch his skin, and it was like a flash of heat, like pure electricity, making Terazuma shiver and moan.

Ghosting over highly sensitive spots at his ears again before Sohryu gently caressed his lips -- Terazuma had to steady himself at the other man's shoulders or he would have toppled over with the sensation. Feeling the shikigami shift slightly fingertips were replaced by lips, butterfly soft and gentle, and he opened up without even thinking. Wrapping his arms around the strong body, Terazuma sighed and moaned when he felt those lips caress his, that hot inquiring tongue stroke over his sensitized mouth, asking to be let inside.

Too long. It had been too long. He was thirsting for a loving touch, for a kiss, for... more. Three decades of loneliness boiled up inside him, made him desperate, made him hunger for every little attention, and he knew that something inside of him was breaking.

Terazuma utterly surprised himself by not only letting it, but inviting it in, and eagerly so. Sohryu's hands glided down his body, teasing him through the fabric of his shirt first before he touched bare skin. Terazuma was suddenly highly aware of the other man, of his position upon Sohryu's lap, and the certain pressure against his crotch -- but then Sohryu teased a nipple with his thumb, deepening the kiss, a hand sneaked between his spread legs -- and Terazuma cried out hoarsely as all the pent up frustration and need and pleasure suddenly exploded in a mind numbing sensation of completion.

Coming back to himself Terazuma found himself lying lax on top of Sohryu, gently cradled against a hard naked chest.

His back was stroked soothingly and he was still only too aware of touch of bare skin against skin.

"You... you made me... "

"You came," Sohryu rumbled softly. "That was the intention."

"In my pants?!"

An amused chuckle. "Not necessarily. Did it feel good?"

"Uh..." Terazuma shifted uncomfortably, and Sohryu chuckled again.

Soft lips brushed against his and Terazuma kissed him back, the initial shock of kissing another man long gone. Sohryu gently pushed him off his lap.

"There's a perfectly nice lake, Hajime. Use it if you want to. Nobody will disturb you here."

He looked into those strange eyes, blue-gray with a slit pupil. Terazuma knew little about shikigami, but for the first time he wanted to; at least concerning this man.

Shrugging out of his shirt and his pants Terazuma was aware of the those eyes watching him as he revealed his body to the shikigami.

The water had just the right temperature, and it was caressing his skin like soft silk when Terazuma dove through effortlessly. He loved swimming, almost as much as he loved archery and martial arts. The silence under water was as meditative for him as was concentrating on the target with his arrow -- focusing on one point, freeing his mind of disquieting and distressing thoughts and images, and become one with the world. It was pure Zen, peace in itself, and only somebody who practiced the same art would be able to understand how something as simple looking as that could pacify his usually upset mind. Somehow Terazuma had the impression Sohryu could.

Stepping out of the water Terazuma indeed felt refreshed, but he was aware of his own nudity again. Sohryu handed him a robe and he slipped into it thankfully.

"You're a handsome man, Hajime," the tall shikigami said quietly.

"I'm a freak," Terazuma muttered.

There was a hand on his neck, pulling him close to the handsome man who had just given him the best thing in a long time. Blue-gray eyes fixed on inhuman red ones.

"You are Terazuma Hajime. Nothing more, nothing less. This," he caressed one pointed ear, "doesn't mean you're different from any other shinigami. They all carry something that makes them different from the next." Now those fingers caressed the stripes underneath his eyes. "You have beautiful eyes, Hajime. Quite expressive when you're not constantly frowning."

"They're red!"

"So? Tsuzuki's are violet. Mine are blue. Byakko's are red, too."

Terazuma looked away, face a grimace. He hadn't been born with that color! It was a sign of his possession and the creature inside him. He rarely looked into a mirror if he could help it.

"As long as you can't accept Kagankokushunkei, you can't accept yourself. Physical release will only give you a little breathing space, Hajime. It takes the edge off the tension. You need to accept what you are, and you need to accept the shikigami you are bound to." Sohryu's voice was soft, gentle, cajoling.

"What if I can't?" he wanted to know, voice weak.

"Then you will continue to self-destruct. I want to help you, Hajime, because I like you, and because I can't sit by idly and see two beings in such pain, but you need to cooperate." Sohryu caressed his skin, fingers playing over one ear. "Please?"

He sighed softly, deflating a little. Terazuma knew that this wonderful feeling that he was currently experiencing wouldn't last. And he knew sex wasn't the answer either. It was a momentary release, fleeing from reality, just feeling... feeling like he had never done before in all his shinigami life. His body craved contact and his mind was thirsting for more of those electric overloads.

Sohryu wanted to help.

And he needed help.

"Okay," he murmured.

Soft lips captured his and he was kissed. "Thank you," the shikigami murmured.

* * *

Terazuma didn't know what exactly he had expected Sohryu to do to help him. The shikigami had told him that sex wasn't the ultimate solution and he had agreed. The tension inside him came from lack of control and a too tight control in one.

"You're all knotted up," Sohryu explained to him when they met again. "Everything inside you is one big tangle and that can't be solved by physical release alone."

Terazuma stared out over the lake. "I know."

"Do you have any hobbies?"

He blinked and turned to look at the man standing calmly at his side. "Huh?"

"Hobbies?" Sohryu repeated.

"I, ah, do archery."

He was actually very good at it, one of the few things he liked and into which he could absorb himself -- until someone waved a red flag in form of Tsuzuki in front of him. That man always got him over the edge in no time.

"Good. To be a master at that you need to concentrate, to meditate, find your center."

He sighed. "I'm not so good at that. I get distracted."

"How about we find a way to lengthen that moment of total peace, enable you to ignore the world outside long enough for your emotions to settle when you get upset? I find that swimming is calming for me, for instance. I like the water." Sohryu smiled. "There's nothing like being alone, under water, with nothing but your own heart beat to listen to, to swim in this environment where nothing else can enter your peaceful state of mind."

Terazuma looked at him, drawn to that gentle baritone, the hypnotic timbre, and he wanted nothing more than to be close to this man, have him touch him. Be touched and touch in turn. He longed for that peace, that calm center, as well as human contact. His tactile sense was like a dried out well. All his senses were hyper aware, better than anyone's because of the parasite, but he had always seen them as a liability. Everything hurt him, everything was bad...

It didn't have to be bad.

"So, how about it?" Sohryu asked, looking questioningly at him.

"I'd like to try," Terazuma found himself answering.

And so their meetings began to encompass a variety of meditation techniques, underwater swimming, archery, and whatever else Terazuma wanted. Even without Sohryu, who couldn't be with him all the time, he continued the lessons and something inside of him started to relax.

"Tell me about yourself," Sohryu asked softly as they lay together on the fresh grass, the sun playing over their bodies.

Terazuma looked at the azure sky. "What do you want to know?"

"You said you were a detective before you died...?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. Not exactly my life's dream."

"Then why choose that profession?" came the question.

He sighed a little. "Family tradition. Dunno about you guys, but for some families in the world of the living, tradition is everything. And some traditions involve the eldest male child taking after the father, the eldest daughter following the mother. I was the unlucky son to be chosen to become a police officer. Dad was a high ranking official, as had been his grandfather. Grandfather was a commissioner, actually."

"So you followed in your father's foot steps?"

"Kinda. I hated it, but I had no choice. I wanted my father to be proud of me, it was expected of me, but I didn't want it at all." Terazuma looked glumly at the clouds passing over the blue sky. "I hated the politics and the guns. I wasn't a good investigator at all."

"You made detective."

A snort. "Dad's influence. I should have remained a beat cop, but hey, I was a Terazuma. I had to become more. So I did and see where it go me. I was killed by a rotten cop on the take and I didn't even realize it until it was too late."

Terazuma sat up, feeling the old anger rise. The Black One stirred, but he seemed to be more careful lately. The mediation and relaxation helped, as did Sohryu.

The shikigami pushed himself up as well, regarding him calmly. "What would you have done if not for tradition?"

He closed his eyes. "I always loved the traditional sports. Archery was my passion ever since I had been a child. I once tried kendo. I liked it, but my father said to concentrate on the Academy. I snuck away to watch others, to secretly shoot archery."

A warm hand curled over one shoulder. "Maybe it's the path you should follow now. You are free of your mortal bond, Hajime. Free to be who you want to be."

"I'm a shinigami," Terazuma muttered.

"Infinite possibilities."

Yes, infinite. He was immortal, a guardian of death...

Sohryu kissed his neck and he closed his eyes, enjoying the tender contact. Hands slipped around his waist, pulling him against the firm, warm and very solid form of his lover.

"Be what you want to be," Sohryu whispered, never stopping his caress.

Hands glided over his skin, leaving a fiery trail behind. Wherever he had been touched, his skin tingled and prickled, overly sensitized, and all Terazuma could do was dig his fingers into the ground and gasp for air. Sohryu knew exactly what he was doing, nibbling at the tip of his ear and working himself down his neck and chest.

Terazuma hadn't really noticed that the shikigami had freed him from the shirt, but when the hands slipped deeper he tensed. Sohryu stopped, looking at him questioningly.

"Hajime?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Let me help you with that doubt of yours."

And before he could grasp the concept, Sohryu had shrugged out of his own clothes, lying at his side in all his naked glory. Terazuma had seen him that way only once and his body reacted immediately to the sight. His eyes slid over the well defined chest, down to the flat stomach, long legs and... he had to swallow when he couldn't help notice that Sohryu wasn't unaffected by what they were doing. Nope, definitely not.

"I'd like to feel your skin against mine, Hajime. Very much so."

Sohryu ran fingers over his chest and ribcage, working himself down south, and Terazuma moaned when his body responded. Sohryu's fingers brushed over his crotch, making his hips twitch before he slid inside.

It felt good... so much better than everything Sohryu had done to him until this point, and Terazuma's eyes slid shut, hips arching into the touch -- and then he was released of the confinement of his jeans, feeling the tall shikigami's body glide along his unhindered by any clothing. A leg pushed between his thighs, spreading them enough to grant exploring fingers access, while lips searched for his again.

Terazuma cried out as those strong fingers curled around his arousal and it only took a few strokes to make him come. He felt the rush in his ears, heard his heart race, and was highly sensitive all of a sudden. More than before. A lot more than before. Sohryu kissed him, smiling at his dazed expression.

"Now that we took the edge off it," the shikigami whispered, "we can start for real."

Terazuma gasped as those nimble fingers stroked over him, and he twitched. Yes, the first need was sated, but it had also stoked an appetite... an incredible appetite for more.

And Sohryu saw the hunger. He smiled more and ran a hand over Terazuma's sweaty chest. He lowered his head and licked over one nipple, making the shinigami whimper.

"Soh... ry.. u..."

"Just enjoy," came the rumble.

Oh, he was! He definitely was...

* * *

It became a daily ritual. Terazuma woke, got dressed, had a brief breakfast that one of the numerous servants had prepared for him, then left the palace. He saw little of Byakko. He was the wind shikigami's guest, Byakko would take care of his needs, but he wasn't Terazuma's entertainer. The shinigami was glad that he was left alone. He hated crowds.

Preparing to leave for another day at the lake, a place he had come to treasure, Terazuma suddenly ran into someone he hadn't met before. The lion inside him winced away as he looked at the tall, broad-shouldered shikigami, dressed all in black, wearing a flowing coat with two tails. Black hair, falling down to touch his shoulder, golden eyes with slit pupils, and an aura you didn't need heightened senses to pick up.

Both men looked at each other, then the stranger smiled briefly.

"You must be our guest."

Terazuma found defiance and annoyance battle for the upper hand. "So what?"

Another smile, completely without any trace of humor. "Welcome to GensouKai."

And with that the stranger brushed past him, making his lion quiver, and Terazuma wondered who he was. He pushed the thought out of his mind and left the palace.

It was a brief walk to the lake, but today he felt like stretching his legs, so he took the long way. It was quite early and he knew he couldn't expect Sohryu to be there already.

He fell into a light jog, enjoying the summer wind that caressed his skin, his senses opening tentatively as they had done in the last few days. He smelled the grass and the water and the trees and the air, he saw the beauty of the landscape around him, he let the air touch him, caress him, let the sounds and smell and touch ease his mind.

Just a few weeks in GensouKai and he had started to unwind knots that been tied thirty years ago, and which had never been broken. A week with a man who not only taught him about how sensual the shikigami inside him was, but also how to enjoy this life as a possessed shinigami. There was nothing he could change, Sohryu had told him throughout one of their meetings. He had to accept it, had to work with it, had to live, not just exist.

Terazuma was starting to understand.

Leaving the paved way behind him he jogged into the small forest that would eventually end up at the lake.

Sohryu demanded little, except for his attention and his acceptance of the fact that he knew what he was talking about. After the initial rebellion inside the maverick shinigami, Terazuma had finally submitted to the other man, aware that Sohryu did indeed know a lot about parasite types, as well as cat shikigami.

As he neared the lake there was an odd sensation, and from one second to the next he was suddenly confronted with the image of Sohryu in his mind. Terazuma stumbled, gasping, and caught himself against a tree.

"What?" he whispered, shocked.

The image returned and emotions flood him. Quizzical at first, Then something like a rush of energy, like his climax, but without him physically reacting to it. Then the image was there again. Sohryu. Dressed in his light shirt with the widely cut neck, the dark pants that served only to show off those incredibly long legs, and his dark overcoat with its upraised collar.

Terazuma sank onto the soft earth, shaking. What was going on here?

More images followed, all not his own thoughts, all containing him and Sohryu, the lake and the emotion of gentleness, peace and satisfaction. The undertone wasn't even sexual, just pleasure. Pleasure and warmth and feeling so good.

"Hajime?"

He blinked, staring up the tall figure that hadn't been there before. He hadn't even heard him arrive!

"Sohryu?" he stuttered.

Blue eyebrows descended into a frown. "What happened?"

"I... nothing," he murmured and pushed himself up, swaying a little.

There was a flash of those strange emotions and the image of Sohryu appeared again, followed by happiness.

Shit!

"Hajime..."

"Leave me alone!"

He batted the hand that had reached out to help him away, and blindly walked down the path that led away from the lake.

Disappointment.

Question.

Sohryu?

No! he raged silently. Shut up!

Something curled up inside him, like a beaten puppy, he thought dimly.

Question.

Softer now. Unable to comprehend. Wanting to understand.

Lake?

Terazuma stopped, almost panting now, eyes wild, shaking his head.

"Who are you?" he yelled.

He didn't get an answer. Instead there was a hand touching him, catching his flailing fist that came crashing toward the 'attacker' and he gave a moan of denial.

"Calm down, Hajime. Everything's okay," Sohryu murmured into his ear as he caught him and held him close.

Terazuma felt helplessness rise inside him and he fought against it. He wasn't helpless! He had never been! He didn't rely on anyone, least of all his shikigami! He was independent! He needed nothing and no one... no one...

Loneliness. -- Question. -- Sohryu?

He groaned and his knees gave way under the constant batter of images and emotions. A cool hand touched his forehead and he briefly fought the touch, then surrendered. Closing his eyes, Terazuma sank into the embrace, tears sliding down his face.

He hadn't cried in ages. Not since... he had been a child.

"It's okay," Sohryu rumbled. "I expected this to happen, but not so soon. He was more desperate than I thought."

Terazuma breathed shakily, blinking his eyes open, aware that he was enveloped in a warm cocoon of silky clothes, feeling the shikigami's body heat.

"W...what?" he stuttered.

"Kagankokushunkei."

Terazuma didn't understand. He fought the embrace and Sohryu opened his arms, letting him sit up. "What about him?" he demanded.

"I felt his presence increase. The pain he's in is receding and he came forward."

What?!

"What? What pain? What do you mean he came forward?"

Sohryu sighed and settled back against the tree behind him. "You still don't understand much about shikigami."

Terazuma frowned. "Enough," he muttered.

"You think we're here to be bonded to a shinigami, to enhance his powers, to serve him." Sohryu smiled a little. "We don't exist to be enslaved, Hajime. We exist independently, freely. If we're challenged, we test the challenger. If he or she is worthy, we decide to serve, to protect, to follow our master. True, the shinigami has our power at his disposal, but we gain from him in turn. A shikigami's strength grows with the strength of his master, Hajime."

"What's that got to do with me? I can't even control the damn thing!" he muttered.

"You always pushed him away. You didn't want him and he knows that. He wasn't asked if he found you worthy and you weren't asked if you wanted his partnership. In the last few days you've come to accept something about yourself, Hajime. You're more at peace with your inner self, so Kagankokushunkei has decided to risk coming forward, come out of the hiding place in your mind and soul he has chosen ever since you were united." Sohryu reached forward and drew a finger down Terazuma's cheek. "You're his master and he knows that. He respects you, but he is what he is. He is a parasite who will do everything in his power to keep you safe, to protect you, even if you didn't call him. But he's also a very sensuous being, something you know because you have his senses. He wants your approval, my friend."

"He was the one who sent me that stuff?" Terazuma exclaimed, aghast.

"Yes. Kagankokushunkei has decided you to be safe enough to communicate with." Sohryu smiled softly. "For a shikigami that was hated for so long by you, he's showing an incredible resilience and trust. He wants to be your protector, Hajime, he wants to be loved by you. All shikigami serving a master want his love."

There was a wistful note to his voice.

Terazuma was about to ask something, then thought better and pushed the question away. Instead he closed his eyes and shook his head. Kagankokushunkei was talking to him. Damn, it was freaky.

"I thought you guys would attack and potentially kill your master if you detected a weakness, not want his acceptance and love."

Sohryu gave him one of those gentle smiles again. "A master's weakness is reason to try and break free, yes. We grow strong through the psychic power of the shinigami we serve, so we also lose strength if the shinigami weakens. There is a moment in that partnership when we cannot stay with the master and we will fight for our freedom."

Terazuma frowned. What did that say about Tsuzuki? part of him wondered. He commanded twelve shikigami, Divine Commanders, so what did that make him strength-wise? He ignored that thought as well.

"Now what?" he murmured instead.

The question earned him a chuckle. "This isn't unexpected, Hajime, just sooner than I thought. Your shikigami is desperate for your love and approval, and maybe it's about time you got to know him, hm?"

"How?" he demanded, anger touching his voice. "Unlike your type, he can't just come out and we can shake hands!"

"No, of course not, but you can still get to know him." Sohryu rose and held out one hand. "Come. I'll show you."

Against his better judgment, Terazuma trusted the blue-haired shikigami. He took Sohryu's hand and let himself be guided.

* * *

"Why are you doing this?"

Amused eyes twinkled at him over the fresh, green grass that was all around them. Sohryu lay on his back, gazing at him upside down, his head bent all the way back, and he smiled.

"You keep asking, I keep telling you the same answer."

Terazuma lay down next to him, stretching out in the opposite direction so that only their heads lay next to each other.

"Yeah, yeah, you're saying it's because you can't see a fellow shikigami in pain."

"That's the truth. He's hurting and I felt it like a raw, open wound."

Terazuma rolled onto his stomach and rested his head on his crossed arms. Blades of grass tickled his skin and his sensitive nose picked up the smell of the warm earth, the fresh green... His senses were so finely attuned all of a sudden as if he had always been in balance with them.

"And what do you get out of it?"

A chuckle. "Same question, same question."

He glanced over his left elbow at the shikigami who looked so completely relaxed, so inviting, so... sexy.

Shit! I'm not into men! Terazuma stopped that train of thought, but his body begged to differ. Sohryu had shown him things he had never believed possible. He had shown him pleasure, had sated his hunger, had nursed a starving shikigami back to health and he had taught the shinigami who was possessed by it how to enjoy being touched again.

Ten days.

His life had been completely turned around in ten measly days. Sure, GensouKai had a different calculation of time than Meifu, but that didn't account for him suddenly enjoying male sex.

I'm not gay, he moaned to himself. I'm not...

And the more he fought it, the more he wanted this man.

He sighed.

Sohryu was silent, eyes closed, enjoying the sun as it was, his white shirt open and revealing a smooth, hairless chest he had touched before. Terazuma bit his lower lip, fighting the impulse to crawl over and kiss that inviting patch of skin, lick those nipples into hardness, listen to Sohryu's breathy moans. They had yet to get past second base, past touching and fondling, and Sohryu doing most of the work. He was hesitant of actively seeking what he wanted. So far the shikigami had somehow sensed his hunger and had fed him every time.

I'm not needy! Terazuma snarled softly. I'm not the submissive who just takes and lets him play!

Pride rose and he felt the Black One stir. Emotions trickled through, emotions of... wanting, of approving, of coaxing him gently.

Great, now the cat was telling him what to do!

The lion worked on instinct, Sohryu had told him. Most parasitic types were unable to communicate in human words. They relied on emotions and images, and their instinct guided them as to what was right or wrong.

Well, sometimes those instincts sucked, Terazuma thought glumly.

Another little push and he glared at the Black One.

Why don't you mind your own business, cat?!

But there was no denying the attraction and he suddenly found himself sitting next to his lover, looking down on the handsome man, taking in the lazy smile, the half-lidded eyes, those lips... and he kissed him.

Slow, gentle, tender... hands roaming over the exposed skin, along the line of the ribs, then up again... fingers brushing against the nipples he had thought about...

He stopped, pulling back, breathing hard.

"Hajime?" Sohryu questioned softly.

"I don't want to... use you," he stammered.

"You aren't. If I didn't want this, you'd know by now."

Terazuma felt something curl inside him and he didn't know whether it was fear or warmth. He had never initiated something like this, had only been given pleasure, and he knew he wanted more. So much more...

"Sohryu... I... never did something like this before..."

"Just do what feels good, Hajime. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Hesitantly Terazuma touched the soft skin again. Running his fingers over Sohryu's body he felt the shikigami shiver when he touched hot spots, heard the breaths turning into gasps. Testing, he ran a thumb over a peaked nipple once again, feeling his own body respond to the soft moan that elicited.

Sohryu liked this? Stroking over the hot skin Terazuma was fascinated by the way his lover acted in response, breathing harder, arching slightly, spreading his long legs...

Terazuma took all the courage he could muster and brushed his fingers over the hard length so prominently bulging against the constricting confines of the dark pants.

Sohryu gasped, arching into his touch more violently than before, and Terazuma became bolder. Slightly fumbling finger undid the simple clasps of the pants and he let his hand slide inside, hearing a breathy moan as an encouraging response. The other man's arousal didn't feel much different from his own, he mused absentmindedly, closing his fingers around it carefully.

Sohryu moaned again when he tested the feeling, stroking over its length or ran his fingertip over the silky tip.
Terazuma grew braver. ‘Just do what feels good' Sohryu had said. He knew what his lover had done with him, to him, and it had felt incredible. He began to explore the texture of his lover's arousal, stroked and caressed, ran teasing finger nails lightly over the hot skin.
Sohryu cried out, his hips twitching into his touch and Terazuma felt something shiver through him. He was doing this, he was creating such pleasure. His first explorations into male sex, into being the active part... Terazuma marveled at the simple effects, at the results.
Leaning over his lover, still stroking gently, he kissed Sohryu, drawing him in, meeting his harsh reply with softness. Sohryu was growing more and more restless, needy, urging him on verbally as well as with simple gestures.
"Hajime..." he whispered roughly. "Stop teasing!"
Terazuma wasn't actively trying to be cruel, but the words made him tremble with excitement. He had been unaware that his stumbling attempts were so arousing for the shikigami. When Sohryu came, it was with a throaty moan, eyes screwed shut, face a mirror of ecstasy. His body tensed briefly, then he sank back with a harsh exhalation of air. Terazuma stroked over his lover's skin and Sohryu whimpered, highly sensitive at the moment.
Blue-gray eyes opened and gazed at him, filled with satisfaction and warmth. Sohryu reached for him and Terazuma leaned down into the tender kiss.

They lay together in the afterglow of their encounter and Terazuma lazily threaded his fingers through the long, blue hair.

"Sohryu?"

"Yes?"

The shikigami had his eyes closed, his head resting on Terazuma's chest. It felt nice, comfortable... familiar.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"What do you want to know?"

"You're a shikigami."

One eye opened, an eyebrow arching in an ‘obviously' gesture.

"Do you also have a master?"

A slow smile curled the full lips. "Why do you ask?"

A shrug. "Curiosity?"

"Not every shikigami has a master."

"I know. So, you don't?"

Sohryu was powerful, of that Terazuma had no doubt. He had no idea what kind of shikigami he really was, who he was, and he had never wanted to know. It was something that didn't really interest him.

"I do. I have a master," was the calm reply.

"Ah."

Those blue-gray eyes regarded him solemnly. "Is that a problem for you?"

"No, was just curious as I said."

A mutual silence fell and Terazuma wondered who controlled his lover, who could call him. There were eighteen angels of death, him included, and a good 50% had at least two shikigami. Or more. Three of his closest coworkers didn't have a single one, each for different reasons. So there were fourteen left.

"It bothers you," Sohryu rumbled.

"No," he denied immediately.

"But you're thinking about it."

"Kinda."

"Why?"

A shrug. "Don't know."

"Liar."

Terazuma sighed. "It's just... he can call on you every moment, could summon you to fight his battles, and you would follow his call."

Sohryu smiled, not the least bit disturbed. "Of course I would. I protect him."

"Because he's more powerful than you."

"No, because I recognize him as a worthy master, an equal in many terms."

Terazuma looked into those sincere eyes. "Because you're his."

"Yes."

So simple. A shinigami could claim a shikigami, and he would have his loyalty, his love, his protection and servitude. It struck something inside Terazuma, something that couldn't agree with this ‘contract'. He pushed it aside. It was an age-old argument of his. He had a shikigami himself, had never wanted him, but lately he had come to accept the cat.

Sohryu watched him, eyes very attentive. "I'm not a slave, Hajime. I serve my master, but he's not my owner. We respect each other. I truly love him for what he is; and I would die for him, defend him in battle."

Terazuma closed his eyes, shaking his head ever so slightly.

The shikigami pushed himself up and looked down on his lover. "Do you think less of me because I'm serving a shinigami master?"

"No! No, Sohryu, never. What irks me is the fact that someone conquered you just to fulfill his ego trip!"

He laughed. "That's truly not the fact."

Terazuma bit his lower lip, refusing to ask just who the master was. He was afraid of knowing the shinigami; hell, he would know him. There were not too many who had shikigami at their beg and call.

A gentle hand stroked over his face and hair. "It's a mute point to discuss my involvement with one of your kind. I've been his for many decades now. He never abused me, he barely calls on me, and we are partners. Just accept it, Hajime."

"I can't do anything but accept it," Terazuma muttered, feeling ill at ease with knowing that this man, this proud being, was under someone's command, was a servant.

"No, there's nothing you can do," Sohryu agreed.

He leaned down and kissed him, and Terazuma replied to the loving contact.

* * *

Their relationship was developing in leaps, Terazuma thought as he studied the man at his side, his ‘teacher', his lover and the only person in his life as a shinigami who knew so much about him. Sohryu had listened to him when he talked, had just been there when Terazuma had needed to vent his frustration, his anger, his fears, and he had listened to his dreams, his hopes, his wants and needs. His simple presence helped. In the two weeks Terazuma was by now in GensouKai, so much had changed and a lot was due to the patience of this man.

"Sohryu?"

"Hm?" came the lazy reply.

Terazuma hesitated, feeling stupid. "I... I'd like to ask something. Promise not to laugh."

The shikigami turned on his stomach and looked at him. "I'd never laugh at you, Hajime. Ask."

"I like what we do... but... why do you choose a man over a woman? What's so special about it? A hand job isn't really... different from what I could do in my room."

He felt embarrassment flush his cheeks.

"Not that I don't enjoy your touch. I do. Very much. Just..."

Sohryu's smile widened, but he wasn't laughing. He sat up and leaned over, brushing their lips together.

"I was hoping you'd ask me one day."

"Huh?"

"I'll show you."

"Wha..."

A kiss silenced his question and while Sohryu leaned even closer he still left Terazuma enough room to push him away, to stop if he didn't want to. But the shinigami was curious and everything else so far had been quite pleasant. More than pleasant. It had been... a revelation.

Clothes were removed, hands stroked his skin and Terazuma closed his eyes, letting his senses take over as Sohryu had told him he should. The Black One purred in the back of his mind, liking the sensations coming in, just like he seemed to stretch out, turn into a tabby cat, whenever Terazuma did his Zen meditations, swam, or went through the moves of kendo.

A moan left his lips as Sohryu stroked and kissed and caressed him, touching his trigger spots, those hot places, and he reached for his gentle tormentor. His hands were caught, fingers entwined, and Sohryu blanketed his body, their lips meeting again.

The kiss was deep, loving, explorative, and Terazuma felt himself flow with the energies, his skin prickling with each contact. A hand closed around him, stroking gently, then with a little more pressure, only to lessen once more.

His breathing became harder.

So far, it was all like before. The touches, the kisses, the caresses.

"Hajime..." Sohryu whispered, his hand again down south again, playing with the evident sign of Terazuma's wants and needs.

"Yes?" he managed, then swallowed a gasp as those fingers brushed over the sensitive skin.

"I'll show you... but if you feel unwell, tell me..."

He didn't really understand, but still he nodded.

Hot lips closed over his hardness and Terazuma groaned loudly. It felt so incredibly good, so fantastic, and it was a man doing this to him. A man... Sohryu... He lost himself in the sensation of the tongue and hot mouth over his arousal, until a sudden pressure further down there alerted him to something else. Before he could ask, the pressure increased and then...

Terazuma gave an exclamation of surprise and... not pain, no. It was strange, felt... weird... but not painful.

"Soh...ryu?" he gasped.

"Relax," came the gentle purr.

"What are you..."

The strange feeling intensified and he gasped as it turned... pleasureful. Sohryu bent over him, kissing him deeply, still playing with him, and Terazuma found himself losing himself in that sensation.

"Just one finger," the shikigami breathed, wriggling the digit and Terazuma cried out.

The cry turned into a mewl of ecstasy as Sohryu's finger brushed over something, something that shot spikes of molten lava up his spine. He screwed his eyes shut, body arching, wanting more, needing more, and to his relief his silent wish was granted.

Terazuma gave himself over to the incredible sensation, to the mouth now working his hardness to completion, to the overloading sense of everything. He screamed his climax, neurons firing, his world blanking for a full second before he melted into every pore of the ground, breathing hard, unable to comprehend what had just happened. Just that... it had felt good.

No.... mind-blowing.

Soft lips kissed his sweaty skin and he shivered as Sohryu caressed him. Everything felt hyper sensitive, down to his most intimate parts and Terazuma gasped softly at the sensations.

"Shhh..." the shikigami murmured, kissing one ear lightly. "Just feel it... let it slow down on its own... enjoy the afterglow."

Terazuma closed his eyes, aware of so much all of a sudden, so intense, so... perfect. Sohryu still caressed him, giving his senses a way to realign with normality, home in on his non-arousing contact, and after a while Terazuma finally opened his eyes. Sohryu smiled at him.

"So that's it?" the shinigami whispered.

"Part of it."

Terazuma wasn't an innocent concerning male sex; he knew what it could involve. He just hadn't lost a lot of thought concerning the deeper meanings of...well... that.

"So there's another lesson coming up?" he teased.

Sohryu chuckled. "If you want to."

He drew him down to kiss that wonderful mouth, enjoying the contact now that he didn't feel so sensually raw any more.

"I want to."

Hands caressed him, soothed him, held him. "Then I'll be happy to show you more, Hajime."

He smiled lazily, turning in the embrace of his lover. "Looking forward to it."

* * *

The day had started out nice enough, but the more it progressed, the more clouds covered the blue sky, and with it the sun, and the winds picked up. By the time Terazuma made his daily trip through the small forest to the lake, it was rather windy and the trees were waving their branches and leaves, creating a background noise to the occasional rumble from above.

Figures, Terazuma thought. A thunder storm was coming in. Sohryu had probably stayed home and if he had had at least given it a thought, so should have he. To his surprise, though, he was expected.

Long hair moving in the increasing wind, Sohryu stood next to the 'meeting tree', smiling at him.

"The weather is not in our favor today," he remarked as Terazuma walked closer.

The shinigami cast a critical eye toward the sky, feeling Kagankokushunkei move uneasily. The lion hated rain and thunderstorms, always trying to escape his host body without being able to. Terazuma had had hoped with the ease the shikigami had shown lately that problem had been solved, too. Apparently not.

"Yeah," he muttered, not looking forward to it all.

He would feel those moods again, he would feel the shifting and the pressure of the lion within him, and he would need a pack of cigarettes just to last through the rainy hours to come. It would most definitely be hours. This didn't look like a brief thunder storm at all. He felt chilled, and not all came from the ever-cooler growing wind.

Arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him to the warm body underneath the tree. Equally warms lips caught his, kissing him gently.

"Hajime?" Sohryu inquired softly.

"It's nothing. Just... he... well... gets kinda itchy throughout rain." He sighed, shaking his head. "I thought it might have gotten better as well."

Sohryu kissed him again, trailing a nibbling line down his jaw and neck. "Instinctive fear cannot be soothed by just a few days of meditation and relaxation. He needs to be distracted." Now those lips were close to his ear and Sohryu licked one tip, making Terazuma shiver.

"I don't think making out in the rain's gonna help," the shinigami remarked.

Sohryu laughed softly. "No, probably not, but there is somewhere you might like."

He gave his lover a critical eye, but the shikigami just smiled more.

"Come, I'll show you."

Sohryu led him deeper into the forest. Terazuma had been here before, had explored all there was around his vacation home, and he had found it to be as peaceful as it was free of people. Shikigami were numerous, Sohryu had told him once, but here, in the very heart of GensouKai, lived only the very powerful ones. Lower level shikigami disliked the close proximity of so much power and lived further away, sometimes so far that going there would take a day or more.

They arrived at a long stretch of grassland that went up a small hill, then curved gently downward to a wide expanse of untamed land. At least it looked untamed, but knowing the landscape artists around here, it had to be man made. There was rough grass, rocks, wild flowers, the occasional bush or tree, and there was a small building. It looked rustic, made of wood and elaborately decorated.

Thunder crackled in the distance, not too loud yet, but loud enough to announce the storm coming in. The wind had picked up and the grass was moving with every breath it took.

"Come on," Sohryu said and smiled more.

The building was large enough to be called a cabin, but very traditionally styled. It was unlocked and Sohryu walked inside as if he owned the place. Terazuma looked around, slightly surprised. There wasn't much, except a futon on the ground, a small stove, a shelf with assorted items, and even some toys. He shot his lover a quizzical look.

"Don't ask. It's a storage room, sometimes used by children to play in, and when I want to be alone and the weather is as it is now, I come here just to hear the rain beat against the roof."

As if on cue, the first droplets spattered against the window panes and Terazuma had to chuckle. He walked over to the door and closed it while Sohryu opened the fire place that adorned one wall.

"A small cabin, a fire place... If I didn't know it any better, I'd say you planned the weather just to get me here, Sohryu," he teased.

It got him a smirk. "How do you know I didn't?"

"I think you can do a lot, but influence the weather? No."

Sohryu got the fire going and turned toward him, smiling more. "Shikigami have strange powers."

"So do shinigami, but we don't do weather magic."

They embraced, Sohryu drawing him close and kissing again.

"Ah, well, maybe you just missed that particular lesson," he whispered against his lips.

"Hm, maybe I did."

The rain started to gain in strength and Terazuma felt the Black One move restlessly. He closed his eyes, fighting down the urge to do the same. A hand on his face made him look at his lover.

Thunder rumbled and Terazuma flinched as Kagankokushunkei's presence grew.

"He's nervous of the thunder storm," Sohryu whispered. "Relax. Let me help you show him it's actually nothing to be afraid of..."

And then those lips were back again. Terazuma tried to lose himself in the contact, held his lover tightly, and for a moment he forgot all about the lion, the rain, the moods, as Sohryu played his fingers along those hot spots that made his knees go weak.

His shirt went.

As did his shoes and pants.

And suddenly he lay on the futon, naked, his lover kneeling over him, chest bare, pants open, looking delectable.

Terazuma let his flat hands run over that defined chest, exploring the firm planes, teasing a nipple as he continued. Sohryu leaned forward, his hair cascading over them like a living, silky curtain, and he caught the teasing hands, pushing them over his head. Terazuma playfully fought the hold, nipping at the lips that were crushing his. Sohryu continued his slow path of kisses down his neck and Terazuma closed his eyes with a breathy whisper as he found another sensitive spot. His hands were still in a light grip above his head, but Sohryu let go of him as he began a trail down south. Terazuma left them there anyway, now completely losing himself in that sensation, feeling and sensing only him, only Sohryu, while around them the rain was still increasing.

Thunder rumbled closer and the Black One whimpered, pushing forward, but the rush of emotions from the shinigami he possessed rose against the lion, over him, around him. Terazuma was hardly aware of his shikigami's actions as Sohryu did wonderful things with his mouth and fingertips, finally closing his lips over his hardness.

He cried out in appreciation, pushing into that hot mouth, wanting more, and Sohryu was only too glad to give it to him.

When a finger brushed over his opening, Terazuma's breathing hitched. Sohryu gave him no time for second thoughts as his mouth increased his actions and the shinigami cried out. His cry transformed into a gasp as slick fingers entered him,

Too much. So very much. His brain misfired and he moved into the contact, wanting more, needing more, needing the rush those actions had created the last time.

"Sohryu!" he whimpered, clearly begging now.

The tip of his arousal was licked teasingly and he shot his lover a murderous look that only came across as a glazed flicker of 'don't you dare stop now'.

The rain pounded the roof and the storm was now right above them, shaking the roof tiles, the cabin, raging over the land, but Terazuma couldn't care less.

"Sohryu... want you..." he moaned.

Blue-gray eyes regarded him, filled with need and lust, and suddenly the tall shikigami leaned over him, their bodies touching in the most wonderful ways.

"Hajime," he whispered roughly. "Do you trust me?"

He nodded, arms coming up to stroke and caress his lover, feeling the hot skin, the tension in the lean frame. "Yes."

"I want to take you, Hajime. I want you to be mine. I want you."

He knew what that meant and he wanted and dreaded it just the same.

"Please," he just answered.

Sohryu leaned down and kissed him, a long and slow kiss, relaying his emotions, his need, his desire.

"I don't want to hurt you," the shikigami murmured. "But there will be unease, maybe even a brief pain at first, but it will pass. I promise it will be good for you, Hajime. Very, very good."

"I trust you," Terazuma answered, meaning it.

Sohryu smiled and went back to his teasing ministrations and Terazuma almost whimpered when that finger slowly slid into his body once more. He lay on the futon, legs wide open, wanting, needing, demanding more. And then his lover brushed over the hidden spot that turned his spine into molten lava, his wild bucking and a harsh cry a dead giveaway of his feelings.

Heaven.

Sohryu continued his torture until Terazuma was so close, he almost came, but the shikigami seemed to sense it, pulling away.

"Hajime, turn," he whispered.

"Huh?"

"On your side. It's easier that way," was the soft explanation and Sohryu guided him.

Terazuma felt strong arms wrap around his waist and a hot breath on his neck when Sohryu finally slid into him, carefully and gently as not to hurt him in any way.

The initial entry hurt. There was no denying it. It was a slow burn, an intrusion, but the preparation had loosened him to the actual penetration.

He groaned.

Sohryu kissed his neck, his shoulder, his ears, especially the ears, and Terazuma didn't know whether to cry or to moan or to scream. Sensations were bombarding him; mild pain, absolute pleasure, tickles of things to come, and more. A lot more that went beyond his way to describe. He just felt.

Finally Sohryu settled against him, deeply sheathed, and he rested his head against one shoulder, his breath coming in short, controlled bursts.

"Okay?" he whispered, sounding strained.

The rain was drowning out all other noise, only their harsh breaths and whispers to each other were audible.

"Yes," Terazuma groaned. "Just... move... do something... dunno..."

Finally he did.

Slowly but steadily.

Terazuma's world twisted as Sohryu hit that exact same spot again and again, tightening his hold on his lover, making him sob in need for more. He spread his legs as far as he could, needing more depth, more... anything... Sohryu answered his wordlessly moaned request, reaching down to wrap his fingers around the straining hardness, while his other hand caressed his lover's chest.

Sohryu picked up the pace and Terazuma closed his eyes, and then there was nothing but the sensation of touch, heat, need, all flowing together. His tactile sense was overboard, sucking in all touches and kisses and caresses, sending his brain into a world of bliss that finally released itself in an explosion of utter ecstasy as Terazuma screamed his lover's name. His world seemed to white out for a moment, then shrank down to one single point of existence where it was just him and Sohryu, joined together, and he sobbed hoarsely.

Terazuma heard his hammering heartbeat, the blood rushing through his ears, and he felt Sohryu's body blanketing his, harsh breathing caressing his slick skin. The taller man was still deeply seated in him and he enjoyed the sensation. When his lover pulled out, the shinigami moaned softly.

"Hajime?"

"I'm fine," he answered the unspoken question, aware of the mild burn where they had been joined. "More than fine." Terazuma gave him a lazy, satisfied grin, then pulled him down into a kiss.

Sohryu tenderly kissed him back, soothingly stroking over his sweaty skin. Terazuma felt pleasantly exhausted and despite the feeling that he would be damned sore tomorrow, already felt sore, he couldn't think of anything better than this moment.

"So that's the secret, huh?" he whispered.

Sohryu chuckled. "Yes."

He hummed, almost purring, feeling nothing of his shikigami but shared bliss. The rain and storm had been forgotten as the Black One had been taken with his host on a ride of his life.

They rolled into a loose embrace and Terazuma soon felt himself doze off, safe and secure in his lover's arms. It was still raining, it was still rather windy, as gusts hit the cabin, but he couldn't care less. He felt good. Very, very good.

* * *

Terazuma felt like whistling. He walked through the growing dusk toward the palace that was Byakko's humble residence in this gigantic city without a name. Today had been good. It had been more than good; it had been fantastic.

The lion seemed to agree with him, radiating pleasure and sleepy laziness. For the first time in all his life Terazuma thought he might just come to accept the shikigami.

"Hey, Terazuma!"

The cheerful voice that had grated on his nerves not too long ago floated over to him and he found himself almost smiling at Byakko. He caught himself at the last moment.

"Byakko."

"Had a nice day?" the tiger asked politely.

Oh, if you only knew how well.... Terazuma shut down on that thought, his body tingling pleasantly. The lion almost purred.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Good. Looks like being here isn't so bad, hm?" Byakko grinned.

"Nah."

He walked past the shikigami, unwilling to talk more. He might just spill something. He had no idea how Byakko would react to him sleeping with one of his own kind.

Terazuma didn't see the sudden frown on the smooth, youngish face, the red eyes narrowing in thought, and the nose flaring a little. Byakko's tail twitched, twirled and then curled in what could be called a confused question mark. Finally the wind God walked into his palace, deep in thought.

* * *

Night had fallen over GensouKai and Byakko had finally made it to bed, snuggling up against his naked lover, who had been busy all day. Touda wrapped an arm around him, noting the detached air of the white tiger, how he appeared to be thinking of something. It wasn't unusual for Byakko to ponder daily problems even in bed, but this looked different.

"Touda?" Byakko asked after a while, snuggling closer.

"Yes?"

The tail twitched, swishing across the bed, and Touda frowned a little. Now that was a clear sign of agitation. If all else fails, look at the tail, he always told himself.

Byakko was silent, not looking at him, a mild frown on his face. The tail twitched more, beating across his skin. He liked the feel of the soft fur, but at the moment Touda thought few erotic thoughts. Something was bothering his lover.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked.

"Nothing."

That had been too quick. He grabbed the tail and held on.

"Wanna try again?"

"It's really nothing, uh..."

The tail twitched, even in his grasp, and Touda tugged lightly.

"Liar. Now tell. You're bursting with something and it's not helping that you bottle it up."

A sigh. Then, "Eh, how well do you know Sohryu?"

Touda frowned a little, caught off guard. He hadn't expected that. "We grew up together."

"That's not how I meant it. I meant, how... well... do you... know... uhm... him...?"

Eyebrows raised. "You mean... personally?"

"Kinda. Very personally..." Byakko cleared his throat. "I mean, I've known Sohryu for all my life and well, he never had many partners, you know. Aside from Aya, who I never got to meet. And later... not that I noticed, aside from a... err... well... At least nothing permanent."

Touda's frown deepened. What was going on here? Byakko couldn't possibly know about Rikugo, now could he?

"Byakko, stop babbling. What's wrong?" he demanded, still holding the nervously twitching tail.

"Uh, I met Terazuma today."

"Stop changing the subject!"

"I'm not," the tiger protested. "When I walked past him I smelled something on Terazuma... something that's suspiciously like... uh... Sohryu?"

Blink. "Sohryu?"

"Yes. And it smelled... quite intense."

"Intense?"

Was there an echo in here?

"Like, very close..."

"How close?"

"Close close. Close like... us... after a particularly hot night... or day..."

"How sure are you?" Touda asked, shock settling in.

No way! No way was Sohryu...

"Very."

"Are you certain?"

Byakko sat up and scowled at the other man. "This is a cat's nose," he told him firmly, pointing at his nose. "I'm 110% certain. There's no way they just bumped into each other after they jerked off on their own in solitary confinement!"

Touda winced. He hadn't needed that picture. Sometimes his lover could be very... descriptive.

"So you think Sohryu slept with Terazuma?"

"I don't think, I know! I smelled it, for crying out loud! It was as clear as if he had written it down somewhere! Or showed me the dirty pictures!"

Touda sat up, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Damn," he whispered. "What's he thinking?"

"About as much as I did, probably, when I slept with you," was the light answer.

Touda scowled. Sohryu... first Rikugo, now a shinigami! And he hadn't even thought of him switching partners! Shit, what was that dragon thinking? Rikugo was a measure of safety because he was a shikigami in this realm, but someone from the outside? A place Sohryu had had qualms with not too long ago?

Great! Wonderful! Just perfect!

He knew just who to talk to first thing come morning...

"Touda?" Byakko asked carefully. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, I don't think it's bad. Might be a bit difficult if they keep it up after Terazuma has left," the wind shikigami went on, voice thoughtful.

Touda snorted. What an understatement! Sure, shikigami could manifest in Meifu, even in their human form, and even if not summoned, but Touda had a hard time seeing Sohryu do just that. A very hard time.

He had to talk to the dragon.

As soon as possible...

* * *

Touda held a deeply ingrained respect for Sohryu. They had grown up together, had had a brief encounter in their young lives, a very intimate encounter, and when Sohryu had become Protector of the East and with it the leader of the shikigami, of GensouKai, Touda's respect had still grown. He had been his First General, the highest ranking of his military advisers, and even throughout the years spent under the control device he had never lost his respect.

There was respect, though, and there was blind obedience. Touda had never been blind, not even with all his senses caged in with the visor. He spoke his mind and he had never feared the consequences. Sohryu needed opposition to think, to fire up that agile brain of his. Rikugo had held that position as personal opposition for a long time and still did, but Touda had another place.

He was free to kick some ass when he wanted to.

Today was such a day.

He caught Sohryu in his private chambers, pouring over reports, and when the serpent closed the door after himself, blue-gray eyes rose briefly to scowl at him.

"Care to explain yourself?" Touda asked, voice dead quiet.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Sohryu replied. "I think I remember telling my personal assistant that I didn't want to be disturbed."

Touda smirked. "You better tell him again."

"Apparently." The scowl was still there. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Touda?"

"I want to know if you lost the last of your marbles, Sohryu! What the hell are you thinking sleeping with a shinigami!?"

Sohryu placed his pen on the desk, exhaling slowly. "I don't see where that's any of your business."

"I made it my business!" came the angry reply. "First Rikugo and now a shinigami? You can't just go around sleeping with shinigami!"

Sohryu stared at him like a goldfish, mouth opening, then closing again.

"Rikugo?" he then finally managed.

Touda smirked. He had never told his friend about that piece of knowledge.

"How do you...?"

"I have eyes," the serpent said cooly.

"What?!"

He sighed. "Sohryu, I caught you two by accident. There wasn't even anything incriminating, but I added a few things, watched you a few times, and then I knew. I didn't know you were sleeping with the enemy."

Sohryu gritted his teeth. "Rikugo is not an enemy."

"Right. And I'm an angel. You two are at each other's throat more often than not! It's part of life around here. I would be severely disturbed if a week goes by without you shooting each other those looks or having an argument." He tilted his head, smirking. "But I never had you figured as someone like that, dragon. You caught me by surprise. What started that particular by-play, hm?"

"I had my reasons," was the growled reply.

"I see. And they are?"

"It's my business what I do in my free time, Commander! I'm not asking what you do with Tsuzuki through the bond either!"

The moment it was out, the room temperature changed dramatically. Touda froze, eyes narrowing, face a mask.

Sohryu sighed and closed his eyes, fingers massaging his forehead. That had come out... wrong. That shouldn't have come out at all.

"I apologize... That was uncalled for," he murmured, the pressure behind his eyes rising.

"Very much so," was the frosty answer.

He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. What had made him attack Touda with the only means of inflicting soul-deep pain? Ever since the dream incident it was a sore spot. The connection between Touda and Tsuzuki was something sacred for the fire serpent and his one slip had nearly cost him everything, including his life.

Sohryu knew Touda would never dream of abusing the link, the constant connection that balanced their powers, that allowed Tsuzuki a freedom in his life he had never had before. Touda was the counterweight to the darkness inside the young shinigami; nothing more, nothing less. Implying that he used it for something like this... for sex...

Damn, Sohryu thought, wishing the headache would stop.

"Touda... what Terazuma and I share... is within our private realms."

"You hide it poorly."

He cocked one eyebrow. "So it seems. You know. I assume Byakko does, too?"

"He found out about it."

"Ah." He was silent for a beat or two. "How?"

"Terazuma apparently reeked of it."

"Ah."

He should have expected that. Their last encounter had been quite... intense. For both of them. Sohryu still remembered the waves of ecstasy coursing through his lover, how Terazuma had finally let go and simply accepted what Sohryu was willing to give.

"Do you intend to pursue this after he's gone?" Touda asked, voice still cooler than normal.

"Why? Are you his chaperone?"

The golden eyes narrowed. "No, I'm just reasonable! Sohryu, he's a shinigami! His place is not here, neither is your place with him in Meifu!"

"I know that. I never claimed I loved him, Touda."

The fire serpent gave him a startled look. "What?"

"What Terazuma and I share is something else. We're both aware of it. As he tells me again and again, he isn't 'gay', as they call this kind of relationship in the world of the living. I helped him find a compromise with his shikigami and we both received some pleasure out of it. This is temporary."

So just why did it sound like a lie in his ears? Sohryu mused, then pushed those thoughts away.

Touda's face gave nothing away, not even those golden eyes. He fixed Sohryu with a level look.

"I approve of the changes in you," the fire serpent finally said. "I just don't know if this is a phase or something more permanent."

Sohryu frowned a little. "A phase?"

Touda sighed deeply. "Sohryu, you're our leader. I always respected that, I always will. I didn't think it was wise when you decided to take on Rikugo on a more personal level..."

"You mean fuck him," was the crude reply.

Touda shrugged.

"I told you, my reasons are my own. I don't have to explain myself to you."

"I'm just being reasonable."

Sohryu knew that. Touda had been his friend and trusted Commander in the past and ever since he knew the truth about his black-out that had resulted in his incarceration for so many centuries he had come to see him as a friend again. Touda looked out for him, but Sohryu was perfectly able to do that himself. His didn't have to justify his choices. Rikugo... well, he couldn't explain those actions to anyone, not even himself. Terazuma... was different. He felt it, he knew it.

"I appreciate your concern, Touda. I appreciate your openness. Terazuma isn't Rikugo and what I share with him is on a different level."

The serpent sighed again. "Well, it's your decision in the end. Your problem."

"Thank you for realizing that."

It got him a brief glare.

Sohryu rose from his chair and walked around the desk.

"Touda, I appreciate the concern. I know you want to protect me. Just trust in my judgment."

Golden eyes met blue-gray ones, then Touda just nodded briskly.

"Thank you."

The black shikigami finally left, looking neither happy nor unhappy. Just... concerned. Sohryu watched him go, finally looking at the closed door.

There was nothing to be concerned about. This wasn't love; there were no deeper feelings involved.

It was just a mutual liaison, an understanding between two people who needed it for different reasons. Sohryu enjoyed showing Terazuma just what he could experience, what he could feel, and how wonderfully sensitive he was. The shikigami that possessed him was a sensuous one, and so was the shinigami carrying it.

When Terazuma returned to his world, things would be back to normal. It was a fling, Sohryu thought, a note of sadness entering his thoughts. It was a brief affair.

In a few days it would be over.

* * *

Terazuma felt good with himself and the world, even if it was this world. Not his own. Thinking about the ever closer growing time he had to go back to Meifu somehow filled him with reluctance. He had no purpose here in GensouKai, except the forced vacation Konoe had sent him on. He was a visitor, a guest, something like a tourist.

Terazuma snorted as he walked down the beautifully sculpted path of an equally breathtaking landscape garden. Everything in this place was beautiful, though there were rougher spots, as Byakko had told him. GensouKai center was the safest place, a place of peace and quiet.

Something small and round bounced across the path not far from him and he stopped, following the round object as it crossed the immaculate lawn and then plunged down the incline toward the tiny lake, where it immediately fell in. Terazuma was just about to wonder what was going on when a child ran after what had to be a ball. She tore across the path, down the grassy knoll and finally splashed into the lake, grabbing for the ball.

Terazuma had to smile at the picture. Small hands reached for the ball, but the waves she had created pushed it away from her. With a few steps the shinigami was at the lake and reached for the toy.

"Here you go," he said, holding the wet ball out to the girl.

She took it with both hands, large blue eyes looking at him. "You're our visitor, right?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Yes, I am. My name's Terazuma."

She beamed. "I'm Tenkou."

"Nice to meet you Tenkou." Terazuma frowned a little. "How come you know I'm a visitor?"

"You're a shinigami. I can tell. You feel like a shinigami."

Well, that was obvious. Every shikigami here could tell what he was.

"And father told me we had a visitor. You work with Tsuzuki, right?"

Terazuma shot her a surprised look. "Uh, yeah. You know Tsuzuki?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course I do. He's my master."

Terazuma nearly swallowed his tongue. He felt his throat constrict at the words, his heart miss a beat, and his eyes widened in horror. This little kid was one of Tsuzuki's shikigami? One of the twelve?

Shit, he must have been desperate to challenge a kid! he thought angrily. She was barely out of her diapers!

"He's what?" he croaked.

"My master. He's really, really nice."

Terazuma felt confusion grow.

"He challenged you?" he blurted.

Tenkou scrunched up her little nose. "Silly, no!"

"But..."

"My father challenged him and lost. So when he lost, my brother Kijin and I became Tsuzuki's shikigami, too. I like Tsuzuki. He's really nice and he loves me." She beamed again, clearly adoring the shinigami who was her master.

Her father had done what?! Terazuma could only think. Since when did shikigami go around challenging shinigami?

"Who's your father?" he wanted to know.

"He's the Protector of the East. He makes everything work around here. That's his palace." She gestured at the main building of the central GensouKai part.

It was a huge palace, one Terazuma had noticed right from the first day on. It was colossal but still an architectural masterpiece, and clearly the palace of the ruler of this place.

Tsuzuki is master of the ruler of GensouKai?

And his kids?

His thoughts were whirling. Of course, Tsuzuki commanded four Gods, one of them the Protector of the East, but Terazuma had never really given it much thought.

A small hand tugged at his sleeve. "Come. I'll show you my home. You can visit my father with me."

Like in a trance he followed the child, unable to comprehend the full implications. Tsuzuki commanded the Protector of the East and his two kids, and this shikigami had challenged him? Why?

Tenkou kept talking, about this and that, about her father, her brother, and about Tsuzuki. There was a child-like adoration like Terazuma had never heard it before. This kid clearly loved the amethyst eyed man. They entered the palace and nobody stopped them. Those he encountered just bowed to the child, giving him no second look, and Tenkou ignored them.

"Uh, you really think we can just walk in here?"

"Sure! I come here all the time. Sometimes daddy's busy, then I leave, but sometimes we play a little."

Well, he wasn't here to play with Tenkou's father and Terazuma wasn't really sure he should just waltz into a place like this, meet the ruler of GensouKai. Especially not if he was also Tsuzuki's shikigami.

"What's your father's name?" he asked.

His knowledge of shikigami and Gods was abysmal. If not for Byakko's frequent appearances he wouldn't even know his name. He only knew him as a God and Protector of the West. He had no idea who Tsuzuki's shikigami were, aside from those he called upon in battle.

"He's Sohryu," Tenkou declared proudly. "The Sky Dragon."

Terazuma felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach. With steel-plated shoes.

Sohryu.

The Sky Dragon. The Azure Dragon and Protector of the East.

A God.

One of Tsuzuki's shikigami.

And the list went on.

He had slept with...

The shinigami stumbled in shock. No, impossible! There had to be another shikigami with the same name!

But the blue hair... Tenkou's hair... and she was his kid...

He had slept... with one of the four Gods. He had...

Shii-it!

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

And it had felt so good. So wonderful, so... nice... great... incredible...

I slept with a God...

Unnoticed they had entered the great hall that was the main office and heart of the palace. Terazuma blinked.

It was pure chaos.

People were running around, talking with each other, creating a hubbub of noise that seemed to drown out the rest. There were computers, monitors, scanners, whatever. It looked like the heart of a business company. In the middle of the array of screens and computer was a slightly elevated throne-like chair. In front of it stood a heavy desk, laden with paper, and people were still depositing more on it.

And there, in the middle of it all, stood a tall, well-known figure. The dark blue hair was bound back in an elaborately styled knot that kept it out of his eyes and piled it higher up on his head. Golden clasps and tresses, needles and other decoration adorned it. Long strands fell heavily down the back. The robes were multi-layered, hiding a figure Terazuma had touched before, had seen in all its glory. Each piece of clothing spoke of expensive tailoring, of power, of representation. The sleeves alone were large enough someone could use them as a bedspread.

He stared at the figure, disbelief crowding with awestruck amazement.

Sohryu.

This was the real Sohryu.

The man he had slept with. He had slept with a God.

"There's daddy," Tenkou interrupted his shocked thoughts. "He looks busy..."

Terazuma was a silent and awed, as well as stunned witness to the sheer work it meant to be the head of GensouKai. Everybody seemed to want a piece of Sohryu and while there were assistants, people still flocked toward him.

Suddenly the powerful shikigami raised his head and blue-gray eyes met blood red ones. Terazuma froze, caught in the act of spying, and tried to shrink back into the shadows. The smile that briefly graced the almost haughty and arrogant features let him stop, though.

Tenkou waved, smiling brightly, and she received a nod. For just a moment there was warmth, then it was wiped away as someone demanded Sohryu's attention again.

Terazuma exhaled slowly, then slid out of the noisy room, his ears ringing a little. His senses were overloading with the input and not even his shikigami could dampen the signals.

Tenkou was skipping at his side, talking about something or other, then she suddenly waved and ran off, her red ball still clutched in her hands. Terazuma felt his head spinning, all of it too much and too sudden.

He walked along the corridors, breathing deeply, hands in his pockets.

What now?

He had slept with one of Tsuzuki's shikigami, with the Protector of the East! Well, shit, he couldn't stay here!

"Going somewhere?"

The voice made him whirl around and he gasped as he discovered the very person he had thought about right in front of him. An amused expression danced in those blue-gray eyes.

"Home," the shinigami snarled and tried to turn.

He didn't get far. A strong hand clamped down on his arm and pulled him into a room close by. The door snapped shut and he was alone with his lover; well, Sohryu.

Red eyes met serene blue-gray ones. Terazuma was seething with anger, but it wasn't the anger of before. It wasn't that cold rage, that feeling of injustice, that feeling of... betrayal...?

He felt betrayed right now. Deceived. But differently.

"You lied to me!" he growled.

"No, I didn't," Sohryu answered softly. "You never asked."

Terazuma snarled, eyes narrowing. "You're the goddamn leader of this world and Tsuzuki's shikigami! You could have lost one word about it, but no! You played me like a fiddle! You used me!"

"No."

"Yes! What am I? Just another toy? A possible conquest? Never fucked a shinigami before? Was I a novelty?!"

The Black One was stirring, but he was confused as to why the target was Sohryu. His respect for the more powerful shikigami was deeply ingrained.

"Hajime..."

"Don't call me that!" he spat. "Don't even try to explain yourself! I know what you are! You're a liar! You used me to fulfill your desire. Well, guess what? I don't need you! Go and find someone else!"

And with that he left the room, banging the door shut behind him. Anger and disappointment dominated his thinking as he fled the palace, unseeing, feeling only the betrayal and lies.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have trusted him? I slept with a man... I'm not gay! I slept with a God... I'm not GAY! I don't prefer men to women... but it felt so good. I trusted him. I trusted the bastard! He lied to me!

Thoughts chased each other, one worse than the next.

He finally arrived in Byakko's palace and shut the door of his room behind himself. It was where he spent the next two days, glumly staring out of the window. Thankfully no one tried to talk to him. Thankfully Byakko was busy and Touda wasn't around. Thankfully...

And it hurt so much. The lies, the misled trust.

You were never a good detective, Hajime, he thought sourly. Or you would have seen through his façade. He used you for his own pleasure. He's the top dog, can have anyone, and he fucked the novelty.

Congratulations.

He left GensouKai on the third day, right on the appointed time. He felt nothing as the gate swallowed him. Nothing at all.

* * *

Sohryu sat in his private quarters, leaning back into the large pillows of the couch, eyes distant. A tea set stood next to him, the liquid cooling, untouched. No one dared to disturb the dragon and he was thankful for it. His headwoman had shot him worried looks, but he had ignored her. He didn't want to talk, nor did he want to hear good advice.

Terazuma had left GensouKai. Just like it had always been clear that he would do one day. His stay had been limited. But the circumstances how he had left deeply disturbed him.

I never lied to you, Sohryu thought, sighing. I never wanted to betray your trust.

He just hadn't added the small side note as to who he was in this world. It had been of no importance nor consequence to him. It had been to Terazuma.

Why didn't I tell him? Was I afraid of his reaction? Why? It was just an affair, just a mutual agreement to give each other a good time.

So why did it hurt so much?