Archive of Our Own

The palace was empty and dark. The servants were already in their quarters and only the guards patrolled the peaceful night. There was hardly any need for them, but since the observatory and the adjoining palace belonged to a Divine Commander, guards were a formality. Rikugo had never seen the necessity at all, and he had argued with Sohryu about it more often than not. In the end he had grudgingly gone home and just endured it.

Tonight, the sentries were just as superfluous as on other days.

Rikugo sighed and walked back into his semi-dark study. He didn't feel tired. He hadn't felt tired since he had Looked into Byakko's mind and had been witness to the horrors the young God had had to endure at the hands of the devil. The astrologer wished he could take the false memories and bury them forever, lock them away, but it was impossible without hurting Byakko in turn. The tiger had to work through this and he had to come to terms with the attack. Byakko knew what he remembered was wrong, but his reactions, his emotions, his fear was true.

His fear of Rikugo.

The astrologer gritted his teeth, hands curling into fists, and he felt a slight spark of energy as his helpless anger rose again. There was nothing he could do, he knew that. The memories were branded onto Byakko's mind.

But it hadn't been him!

The simple idea that he had done... that he would do this to a child...

He felt sick.

Nauseous...

And so helpless.

Byakko feared him whenever he came close, and there was no evading him here in GensouKai for all eternity. Byakko was one of the four highest shikigami, and Rikugo was part of the twelve Divine Commanders, which included Byakko as well.

Running a shaky hand through the blond bangs he drew a shuddering breath.

It hurt to be looked at with such fear, with such terror, and he couldn't suppress his aura, the very thing Byakko instinctively reacted to without even looking at him.

Except...

Rikugo ran a hand over the long hair that was woven into a tail, usually hanging over one shoulder. The long hair was vital for a dragon shikigami. It showed his power, his strength in battle, and the longer the hair, the older and more powerful a dragon was. Like Sohryu, Rikugo collected his energy through his hair and was immensely powerful, which also showed in his aura.

There was a moment of hesitation, then something inside him snapped.

The huge, red eyes of a child, gazing at him in blank terror, a voice crying, then screaming in pain, erased all other thoughts. He strode over to his work table, yanked open a drawer, and took out a pair of scissors. There was no more hesitation then and while a tiny part of him screamed self-mutilation, another was in complete and utter shock, a daze nothing could penetrate.

The sharp blades cut through the blond strands several times. It wasn't easy, but in the end the astrologer held a good portion of his own hair in his hands.

And his aura diminished.

It shrank, it grew less, and finally it leveled.

Rikugo just stood there, his eyes closed, his face pale, and for a moment, an insane moment, he wanted nothing more than scream.

But the moment passed.

The blond strands in his hands felt heavy, unreal, and the rest that spilled over his shoulder blades was suddenly so light, so strange...

A smile crossed his pale lips.

He was no longer strong and fearsome. His aura, the aura that could scare even such powerful shikigami like Sohryu, was no longer a threat. He was still strong, still a Divine Commander, his strength was fed and balanced by Tsuzuki's power, but he was no longer a threat to Byakko.

Slender hands opened and the cut off strands fell to the ground. He felt his body tremble with the reaction and he finally had to lean against the table or he would keel over.

After a long while he opened his eyes, aware that someone else was in the room. He looked down to where his hair lay in a heap, still braided, and he discovered someone standing next to it.

Genbu's ancient eyes held his, no emotion in there.

"Do you think it will solve your problems?" the old God asked.

Rikugo smiled darkly. "No, but it eases my mind. It will help Byakko regain at least a fragment of his old confidence."

"You are not his enemy."

"No, in his eyes I'm the man who raped him as a child," was the cruel answer.

Genbu didn't so much as flinch. "Mutilating yourself will not help him."

Rikugo felt like laughing. An insane, wild laughter, brought forth by nothing but the desperation and terror inside him, but he didn't. Shaking hands rubbed over his face.

"I can't stand to see him like this, Genbu. He was my student! He was my protégé. He came to me because he was afraid after his father's death and I never... I never would... Oh Gods...!"

Genbu gently touched his leg, the power of the much older shikigami enveloping his student.

"I know what you did was only to help, but you took away more than just a threat. You took away yourself."

Rikugo sank down onto the ground, watery eyes looking at his sensei.

"I don't know what else to do!" he whispered roughly. "He fears me. He thinks I did this to him and just seeing those memories... it made me sick! He lives them whenever he sees me. I'm the trigger, Genbu!"

"Then maybe you should give him a bit of distance for a while, don't you think?"

"How?"

"Meifu is nice this time of the year," was the easy answer.

Rikugo was silent, then he nodded his understanding. Still shaky, he rose and walked past the cut off braid. He undid his robes, sliding the heavy cloak off.

Where he was going, he didn't need to represent. Where he was going... he hoped to find a measure of distance.

* * *

It was like a niggling feeling that hadn't left him alone for two days now. Tsuzuki had spent a week in the world of the living, tracking down a group of souls that had gotten lost, and while it hadn't been a difficult task, it had been time consuming and tiring. Hisoka had been at his side the whole time, a guide, a friend, a partner, and so much more.

They had truly grown into a team, both in body and mind and spirit. Tsuzuki trusted his partner implicitly, had for a very long time, but now that trust was finally sealed. Too much had happened, too much had rattled their foundations, but they had only grown stronger, persevered, had come out changed.

So it was after the second day he had been home that his senses were finally bothering him so much that he took some time off to do something he had rarely done in the past before -- he sought a calm place and sank into what others might call a meditative state. For Tsuzuki it meant tuning out the outside world and following his senses. It didn't so much include employing the powers of his demonic heritage but to follow the magic his shinigami body held.

What he found was surprisingly a familiar aura. A shikigami aura. Not as strong and powerful as he knew it from his countless visits to GensouKai, but it was unmistakable.

"Rikugo?" he murmured, stunned.

What was his shikigami doing here? And why did he come across so weakly? Why hadn't he come to Tsuzuki upon arrival?

Questions spinning in his mind, Tsuzuki followed the echo of the aura, homing in on it with some difficulty.

What he found shocked him deeply.

Tsuzuki looked at the huge, bronze-colored dragon, taking in the red, reptilian eyes, the large wings -- folded at his side -- the sharp claws digging into the ground, and the pain-filled aura surrounding the mythical being.

"Rikugo," he whispered, aghast, coming closer.

The dragon seemed to wince, drawing back. He was a magnificent being, just like all dragons, and Tsuzuki felt the pride to call him his friend swell again. But it was dampened by his worry as to why Rikugo had chosen this remote area, this unpopulated and wild landscape, as a hiding place.

"Change?" he requested.

Looking up the huge being gave him a crick in the neck.

"Please?" he added.

There was a soft rumble coming from the shikigami, then the dragon form wavered, shimmered, and finally turned into the well-known human appearance of his friend.

Tsuzuki was shocked to look at the man he had always seen as strong, tall, proud and invincible. Now Rikugo looked like the slightest breeze could topple him over. His face was pale, the eyes dull, his expression haggard. He was no longer dressed in his wide, expensive robes but a simple sweater and jeans that only enhanced how thin he had become. Not that he had been very heavy to begin with, despite his size.

And his hair...

The hair was... gone. The long braid had been cut off, leaving him with a barely mid-back length. The hair fell listlessly, looked as dull as his eyes, and was bound back in a loose tail.

"Oh dear Gods... Rikugo..." Tsuzuki whispered, aghast. "Who did this to you?!" he demanded.

The onyx eyes evaded him. "No one," was the whisper-soft answer.

"No one...? You... you did this yourself?!" Tsuzuki couldn't but stare open-mouthed at his friend. "You cut off your own hair? Why? Rikugo... why?!"

He stepped closer to the suffering shikigami and suddenly the taller man's knees gave way. There was a soft gasp and the blond collapsed. Tsuzuki was just fast enough to catch him, going to his knees with the weight in his arms that was no real weight at all. He wrapped his arms around the thin shoulders, heard the sobbed whimper, and just held him close.

"Oh Rikugo..." he murmured, stroking over the formerly so wonderfully long and heavy strands.

Rikugo was a dragon; his power lay in his hair. For him to cut it off... he had taken his own power down, had reduced his aura, his endurance, his abilities in a fight. He was still a Divine Commander, no doubt. Like Touda he belonged to the most powerful and dangerous, but he had... crippled himself. Badly.

"Why?" he repeated softly.

Rikugo seemed to bury himself deeper into the protective embrace, shivering. "For his protection," he answered roughly, voice sounding like sandpaper.

"His? Who?"

"Byakko."

Another tremor and the hands clenched into Tsuzuki's coat.

"He can't take this. He can't be around me. I'm the enemy. I never wanted this, Tsuzuki. I would never do this!" The last was a desperate cry.

Tsuzuki held on, held him tightly, one hand stroking over the curved back.

"I would never hurt him... he was a child..." Rikugo sobbed. "How... how can this thing do that to him?! How can it... violate him and use me? I never laid a finger on him, Tsuzuki! Believe me!"

"I believe you," Tsuzuki answered calmly, though he had no idea what was going on.

Tears ran down the pale cheeks and the shinigami was shocked by the complete breakdown. Rikugo was so strong, had always been there, had been his anchor, had been his rock. Rikugo had given him a hiding place, a warm spot to collect himself, to calm his frazzled nerves, but he had never thought what all of this could do to the man who had done so much for them all. Rikugo had never complained, had willingly served, had poured his energy into this.

No one had asked him if he was okay. No one had cared.

No, wrong.

Tsuzuki cared. About each and every single one of his shikigami, but Rikugo had hidden his pain so well.

He pressed a little kiss on the white-blond head.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured. "So sorry... I should have been there. I never considered... I never thought about it..."

Rikugo held him tightly. "Not your fault."

Tsuzuki chuckled weakly. "You're always so strong. Like Sohryu. I never considered what this would do to you." He cupped the pale face, looked into the black eyes, smiling tear-fully. "You're all so strong..."

Rikugo blinked, the pain and the horror quite visible in his eyes.

"We should leave," the shinigami continued. "Go home."

"No!"

He stopped, surprised.

"No, please... I would like to... stay, Tsuzuki. I ask nothing else of you but let me stay here."

"Here? In this place?"

"Meifu."

"You want to remain in Meifu?"

A shaky nod, coupled with a pleading look. "Please..." Rikugo begged.

"I never had any intention to send you to GensouKai. I just wanted to take you to my place. I have a little apartment here..."

The astrologer gave him a watery smile. "Oh. I thought..."

"You can stay as long as you want," Tsuzuki said, caressing the cool skin, repeating the words Rikugo always said when he sought shelter with him.

* * *

He got him to the small apartment he had in Meifu when he didn't or couldn't return to his place in the world of the living. Rikugo was a dead weight in his arms as he materialized in his bedroom, and he put the slender form down on the bed, never stopping his gentle caress. Rikugo's eyes were closed, his breathing shallow, and he still looked pale.

"Rikugo?" he said softly.

Onyx eyes cracked open and Tsuzuki smiled reassuringly.

"Where...?"

"My home. You can stay here as long as you want and need. Just... relax... sleep."

Rikugo nodded slowly, his whole aura still radiating need, and Tsuzuki stroked over the blond head until his shikigami closed his eyes again, dozing off. Tsuzuki let his fingers trail over the long strands; shorter than before. Cut off. It was like cutting off a limb. Rikugo sighed softly, curling up, and Tsuzuki smiled. He remained until the breathing pattern indicated that he was asleep, then he walked into the kitchen and made some food. He knew he had to call someone to check on the man, and finally Tsuzuki decided to send one of the ofuda birds for Watari. The little magical creature flew away in a hurry and Tsuzuki returned to the bedroom, carrying light food and water.

The moment he entered once more, Rikugo woke. The light sleep had been interrupted once more and Tsuzuki realized how bad off the shikigami had been lately if he couldn't even sleep deeply.

"It's me," Tsuzuki said and sat down on the mattress, immediately touching the other man again, calmly stroking over the cool skin. "It's okay."

Rikugo closed his eyes once more, instinctively burying closer to Tsuzuki as his master caressed him, enveloped him in his aura.

It was how Watari found his soon-to-be patient. Tsuzuki had felt the other shinigami and had lowered the guards around the apartment, letting him in. Watari took one look and his expression changed from curious to worried.

"That's..." he started.

"Rikugo," Tsuzuki nodded. "He came here a few days ago. I didn't sense him; only now. Please... take a look at him...?"

Watari approached carefully, gazed at the curled up form of a normally so self-assured and powerful earth shikigami, and set to work.

"He's drained of energy, Tsuzuki. Dehydrated, malnourished, his system is under a lot of stress, and I doubt he has slept for more than an hour or two lately." Watari pushed back a strand of blond hair. "He's in a bad shape and what he needs is rest."

"I'll make sure he does."

"I know." Watari smiled a little. "But I'm also worried about his psyche. Something happened and it's eating away at him; worse than anything else."

"He said a few things," Tsuzuki murmured. "It's got something to do with what happened in GensouKai."

And maybe he would find out. For now it was enough to know Rikugo was okay, would be okay, and that nothing was seriously wrong with him on a physical level.

You're always there for me, he thought. Let me be there for you now.

* * *

Rikugo woke to the sensation of warmth and safety. His frazzled aura was surrounded by a protective shield, strong and fierce, but also gentle. He let himself float in that strength, too weak to do more than just exist. Everything around him was soft, calming, without a single edge or any pressure. When he finally opened his eyes, he blinked into the twilight of a late afternoon. Sun was coming into the room he lay in, filtered by the blinds. He lay on a bed, covered by a blanket.

Someone was close by. The source of the protective shield that kept him safe, and Rikugo turned his head. He gazed at the man curled up on the other side of the bed that was large enough to hold two easily. Tsuzuki Asato was asleep, his face relaxed, the longish strands falling into his face. He was on one side, facing Rikugo.

The astrologer studied the young face, so sweet and innocent, but also so much stronger than he could ever be. His master. His friend. His protector. Like the shikigami protected him, Tsuzuki protected them. He loved the young man who had survived his challenge, who had mastered him, and coming to Meifu to flee from GensouKai had been almost instinctual. He had wanted to go to Tsuzuki right away, but the shinigami had been on a case and it had taken him away from Meifu for too long. So Rikugo had retreated into the less populated areas of this realm. Enma-Daiou probably knew of his presence, but the Lord of Hades had let him stay without interference.

Until Tsuzuki had found him.

He had felt his master's aura, had felt the power, and he couldn't but go there. Rikugo had wanted to be where this man was, wanted his strength, needed this support.

Reaching out, he touched the slumbering form. Tsuzuki's eyes blinked open at the touch and a smile crossed his lips.

"Hey," he whispered. He sat up, violet gaze resting on his shikigami. "How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," Rikugo answered almost automatically.

"You're not," his master begged to differ.

No, he wasn't. Not really. He was weak, his body was drained of energy, and his mind was like molasses. He felt like a newborn kitten, unable to coordinate his movements, let alone his thoughts.

"You up for something to eat?"

Did he feel hungry? Rikugo didn't know. He felt nothing at all, but when he looked into those huge eyes, saw the worry, he found himself nodding.

*

Rikugo slept a lot. Tsuzuki was always with him, was there, fed him, helped him with whatever he needed, and he stayed when Rikugo slept. It was reassuring to wake up to his master's presence, to the gentle aura, and Rikugo reached automatically for it while waking.

It was on the second day that he sat in the bed and ate that Tsuzuki asked the question he had dreaded.

"What happened?"

He lowered his spoon and sighed. "Too much."

Tsuzuki waited, silent.

"Did... Byakko tell you what that devil did to him?"

"Yes," was the soft answer. "I doubt I know everything, but he told me a few things. We talked a lot."

Tsuzuki's face was serious, the expression very empathic. Rikugo knew that Byakko would turn to his master in his need, though he had never done too often in the past. Usually it was Tsuzuki who needed their support, but the young man had grown. He had finally accepted what he was, what he could do, and it had done wonders.

"You know that this false reality the devil created involved us?"

A nod. "I know what he thought I did."

And Rikugo knew all Byakko had been shown, had been made to believe.

"You saw it all," Tsuzuki spoke out loud what his shikigami had thought. "You never talked to anyone."

Rikugo lowered his gaze. "I was in that reality as well," he murmured.

Tsuzuki was silent, eyes widening a fraction.

"I... hurt him. Not the Byakko you know, but the child he was when his father died... when he was alone and afraid and turned to me for help, for consolation... to talk, to sleep over, to help chase away the horror over his agile mind."

He looked up and saw understanding rise in those expressive, violet eyes.

"I would never hurt him, Tsuzuki," Rikugo whispered. "Never... But that thing showed it to him, made him believe I would... that I would..."

The horror was back, the screams and cries, the huge red eyes staring at a Rikugo that had never existed, pleading for him to stop.

Rikugo screwed his eyes shut and drew a shuddering breath.

There was a warm presence all of a sudden, pulling him close. Strong arms curled around him, held him tightly, and he felt his master's aura cocoon him. Tsuzuki pulled him close, whispered soft words, and Rikugo felt his dams break again. Tears streamed down his face and he cursed himself for his weakness, but he couldn't stop it. It was too much, too painful, and he knew all Byakko had endured.

Crying for a child that Byakko had never been, crying because of the horror he had witnessed, he let himself fall into Tsuzuki's strength, wishing he could be stronger himself. Hands stroked over his back, a voice told him that it was okay, that it was all right to be like this, and Rikugo held on.

* * *

The wounds in his soul didn't really heal, but they were no longer as painful as a week ago when he had arrived in Meifu, and Rikugo was getting some of his old personality back. He smiled more, he actually went out, though only into the unpopulated areas, and he talked to Tsuzuki whenever his master was around. Tsuzuki in turn listened and heard of the horror Rikugo had faced inside Byakko's mind while trying to heal him.

His heart went out to the wounded shikigami and he did whatever he could to help. Rikugo's presence didn't go unnoticed, but no one said a word. Not even Enma-Daiou made himself known. If he had, Tsuzuki would have fought for Rikugo. He knew he would at least try.

It was throughout one of his long walks through the realm of Meifu, a world that was as real as GensouKai, with just as many illusions, that he stumbled over one institution everyone knew about and which resided at the edge of Meifu. It was an immense building, a palace of incredible proportions. The white walls very intricately established, rising before him as far as they eye could see, like reaching for the sky. It looked like an Italian baroque villa, blown up ten times and set into a dream realm.

Sohryu's palace came close to this masterpiece of architecture, though the style was vastly different. This had only European influence, which was curious for a realm that didn't even reach that far. And it was probably just as old, if not older.

Curious, the shikigami walked up the stairs that led to the high doors. They were made of solid wood, but when he touched them, they swung open easily.

Rikugo raised an eyebrow, but he took the silent invitation and entered. The entrance hall was as high as the building itself, awash in light that couldn't come from the candles alone.

The Palace of Candles, he thought. So this was it. An incredible building at the edge of the underworld. He felt the energy everywhere, the life of the millions upon millions of candles. Souls, he knew. Every soul of every living human being was in this place. No one came here except for business. Rikugo himself had no official business, but he had been curious. Since he was already in Meifu, had no duties, and since Tsuzuki couldn't be around him all the time, he had started to look around.

And had ended up here.

Walking through the hall he let his senses adjust to the energy-laden environment. As a shikigami he was sensitive to the shifts in energies and here there was so much life in all stages, it was like a pressure on his senses, like being underwater.

There was no one here, but he knew he was being watched. Someone was curious, just like he was, but he didn't see anyone.

Entering a room, Rikugo stopped, amazed.

The room was stretching into infinity as it seemed.

Seventeen windows overlooking the garden were matched by seventeen arcaded, exceptionally large mirrors along the wall. The arches were set on marble pilasters whose gilded bronze capitals were decorated with the astrological symbols Rikugo could easily tell apart. Solid silver tables, lamp holders, and pots adorned the gallery.

Rikugo slowly walked into the room, fascinated.

"Who are you?"

The voice was a cool tenor, demanding, wary and with a slight edge. Rikugo turned, caught by surprise since he hadn't felt anyone approach, and... his second set of eyes opened in surprise.

There was no one there. Just a roughly cut half mask floating at head level of a normal-sized human being, and a pair of white gloves resting against the frame of the doorway, as if the invisible man had placed a hand there.

And he had.

Rikugo knew that opening his other eyes was impolite but the sheer surprise overwhelmed him -- and he Saw.

He Saw a human being, wearing the mask, dressed in a formal outfit of a black tuxedo with a delicately ornate cravat around his neck, looking at him with a wary expression. Dark eyebrows were drawn down over eyes that struck Rikugo as odd. They were dark, of a color he couldn't define from this distance, but there was a shimmer to them that made them inhuman. The black hair was unruly, reminding him of Tsuzuki, though the face looked older while still remaining young.

But the aura of the man... Rikugo inhaled sharply. Ancient. Very, very ancient. He felt life but not like anyone he had ever met. He wasn't a true shinigami, he wasn't a creature of magic, he wasn't human, but something in between.

Like Tsuzuki...

"My name is Rikugo," he answered the question, still staring at the man. "I apologize for coming in unannounced."

The frown deepened and the man seemed to be unaware that Rikugo actually saw him. "You're a shikigami," he said, coming closer.

His movements were lithe, slow, careful.

Rikugo bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I am."

"It's rare that a shikigami appears in Meifu. Especially to this place."

"You are a bit remote."

Had he seen a wince? And why was this man wearing a mask?

"Can I offer you a tour?" the man asked, a slow smile suddenly crossing his lips. "Since I get so few visitors, I can at least entertain the one I have."

Rikugo smiled slightly and bowed his head once again. "Thank you."

"You already walked into the Hall of Mirrors," his host said. "So welcome to the Palace of Candles, my friend. I am the Count. How may I address you?"

The man behind the mask smiled widely, eyes alight with something like happiness but not quite it.

"I don't have a title," the shikigami answered, only briefly wondering why the man hadn't told him his name, just his position. "Just call me Rikugo."

"Then follow me now as we begin the tour to this magical place."

And he turned, his formal clothes so very fitting into this regal environment.

"We'll start with the ground floor, wind our way through the gardens with its fountains and little private groves..."

Rikugo listened to the words, smiling to himself at the expressive way, the gestures, the smiles that the Count thought he couldn't see.

*

He had no idea what had driven him to let the tall, blond shikigami enter the Palace. As master of this place, master of the Candles, the Count controlled every aspect of the huge building. He decided who was allowed to enter or not. He could just as well have locked the entrance and be done with it. But he had left the doors open, had allowed the stranger to enter, curious about why a shikigami was in Meifu.

He knew all there was to know about their kind. Centuries of boredom and a huge library had helped along with that. He also knew who Rikugo represented, who he was. All twelve of the highest shikigami were known to him, the Divine Commanders.

So this was one of Tsuzuki's, one he had challenged and won.

The Count let his eyes trail over the slender form, noting how unusual his outfit was for such a proud being. If he hadn't sensed the aura, he would have taken him for a run of the mill visitor. Rikugo, despite his fearsome reputation, had a rather.. reduced aura.

Curious.

And then there was the thing about the hair.

The Count remembered reading about shikigami, especially the dragons, and Rikugo was a dragon. Their power resided in their hair and the blond strands were... way too short for his age and standing.

Very curious.

But he reined in his questions, just guided his visitor through his home, his prison, and enthusiastically explained the Palace to him.

It felt too good to have someone here to ponder about inconsistencies.

Later. If there was a later.

Yes, maybe later.

*

The tour couldn't be completed in a day.

So Rikugo came back the second day, seeing the smile on the young features, saw the eagerness for company, and he followed his host again, for his second tour, for tea and something to eat, for a drink and conversation.

It was on the third day as they were out in the gardens, the perfectly groomed, wide expanse of green grass, trees, shrubs, a huge maze with a sun dial in its center, with the many fountains, stone benches, and the groves that were chambers of greenery nestling in the small woods separating the pathways that Rikugo finally asked what he had been trying to answer for himself ever since the first day, ever since feeling that unusual aura.

"Why is a demon serving Enma-Daiou?" Rikugo asked calmly.

Those strangely blood-red eyes widened, the man behind the mask still not aware that he was quite visible to the astrologer.

They were standing next to a fountain, a large pool of shimmering water with a single spout in the middle, surrounded by water sprites of bronze or stone. It was a playful expression of life.

"Come again?"

"You're not human, nor are you a shinigami. Your aura speaks of demonic influence. Unlike Tsuzuki though. You are a pure blood."

The Count froze, paling. "You must be mistaken..."

"I'm not. It's also in your eyes. The mask hides it, but your eyes aren't human either."

"You... can see me?" the other man breathed, eyes impossibly wide, looking almost comically shocked, but Rikugo didn't laugh.

The horror was real that this man felt. The fear and panic and everything radiating off him were true.

But why?

"Yes, I can," he confirmed.

The Count blanched more, stepping away from the taller shikigami as if he was afraid of him all of a sudden. Gravel crunched underneath his booted feet and except for the gushing water there was no sound.

"It's my ability," the astrologer added softly. "I could see you the moment we met." He was hesitant for a moment, then added the question that had been burning on his mind for too long. "Why do you wear the mask?"

Trembling fingers caressed over the object in question. "I... It was part of the punishment."

Rikugo was taken aback. "Punishment?"

The Count moved back two more steps, looking close to running. "I apologize for deceiving you, Rikugo." He dropped his gaze briefly, like bowing without physically moving a muscle. "I'm a prisoner of this place. I cannot leave the Palace grounds. This," he gestured at the garden, "is as far as I can walk."

"Why?!" Rikugo had never heard of such a punishment, though it seemed less cruel than what had been done to Touda for instance.

"It was the better of two evils."

"And you serve Meifu?"

Another tremor. "Yes. I'm not a demon, nor a devil. I'm human," he whispered. "I was born a human being. This here... it's my eternal curse."

"Why? What did you do?"

For a long moment there was no answer. The Count was silent, staring ahead, lost in a world Rikugo couldn't fathom.

"I didn't kill anybody, if that's what you think," the Count said softly, breaking the silence in the end. "At least not by my own hands. I'm not some kind of crazed murderer. Never was, never had the intention to harm anyone. I just made mistakes. I... wanted immortality, eternal beauty... to live forever and be untouched by sickness, poverty and famine."

He laughed darkly, those strange eyes briefly glancing at the listening shikigami.

"I got all I wanted and more. I got eternity. I have my looks. I can never die, but this isn't what I would call life!"

"What happened?" Rikugo asked softly.

"I made a deal with a devil. I offered him what he wished for immortality in return. I was naïve when I summoned him. I was naïve enough to believe that I could control him, that all the tales of before about evil demons was just make-believe, that he would be my servant."

Trembling fingers ran through the black hair, then touched the half mask. He finally removed it, making himself completely visible to his only guest. The eyes took on their true color, blood red with a black pupil, a fiery shimmer in their depths. They were a sure sign of his demonic heritage and the Count didn't meet Rikugo's gaze. He played with the mask, fingers still trembling.

"It was all true. That thing used me, my desires, my wishes, my dreams. It made me immortal, but not in any way I wanted. I began to live off the life time of others, needed human life like a vampire. People aged around me, grew sick and old and finally died. I didn't know that. When I finally realized what was happening, it was too late. I harbored so much energy, it suffused my body, it changed me in turn." He drew a shaky breath. "I was handsome, I was desirable, but none of my companions survived the night. Each climax leeched their energy into mine. It was when I ran. I tried to hide, but that thing came after me... and staying away from human life hurt me."

Rikugo was aghast. He knew that devils made all kinds of deals, but this was worse than stealing a single soul. The Count still didn't meet his eyes, staring at the mask, face pale and drawn.

"I didn't know that all those souls whose lives I took were condemned to go to Hell. I didn't know..." The voice trembled more. "When I fought the pact, I made my last mistake. I fought fire with fire and was burned. I used magic to kill the creature, but in the end all I did was fuse his power with mine. I became what he was..."

"You're a half demon then?" Rikugo asked softly.

A wry laugh. "Yes and no. I merged with one, molecule by molecule. I became one. My whole body changed; everything about me changed. You can't tell me apart from any of the others because when Enma-Daiou brought me here he locked that part away." The Count stared at the floor. "He gave me my last chance. I was supposed to serve Hell, become one of those minions, lose my soul to that creature that I had become, but I ended up here. Alone." He smiled darkly. "I think it was the lesser evil. Hiding behind the mask, behind invisibility is a small price to pay. It could be a lot worse."

"What's your name?"

A sad smile. "No one's asked me that in a long time. I've been the Count for all my existence here."

"Who were you before?"

Finally those demonic eyes met Rikugo's and the shikigami held them with a steady expression. He was neither frightened nor shocked by them. Shikigami had all kinds of eyes and only humans turned away in fright from what they didn't know. Rikugo himself looked different and his second set of eyes was red and reptilian; dragon eyes.

"My people had a name for me. You could translate it as Demon Spawn."

Rikugo looked into those pained eyes, saw the truth of the emotions behind the name. "What did your parents call you?" he asked quietly.

A sigh he evaded his gaze. Rikugo waited, waited for the emotions to settle, for the other man to make up his mind.

"Ryu," the Count finally said. "My mother called me Ryu. It's an abbreviated version of my full name and title."

The astrologer smiled. "May I call you Ryu?"

The Count looked at him, sadness in his eyes, his whole demeanor, but there was also a spark of hope. "I'd like you to."

* * *

He sat in the darkened room, a glass of sherry in one hand, eyes gazing out over the garden at night. There were a few lights on, illuminating the fountain for no one else but him and Watson. It was a spectacle to amuse himself, to take his mind off darker thoughts, and right now Ryu felt it soothing him. The lights were wonderful in the night, little sparkles, beacons, life. Cold and artificial, but still life.

Why had he told Rikugo his name?

Why had he revealed his past?

Because he had been desperate for someone to know, he answered his own question. He had needed someone other than Watson to talk to him, and he didn't want to keep secrets from this wonderful man.

Rikugo was like a life line. He had come back, he had continued their conversation, he had been truly interested. And there hadn't been a perverted thought on the Count's mind.

I'm so hungry for it, I'm a fool, he thought desperately.

This was momentary. Just another visitor in the millennia of imprisonment. No one to stay. Not company in the real sense of the word.

Rikugo was a hope that would soon shrivel up and die again.

Enjoy it while you can. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Whatever held the shikigami in this realm, whatever his troubles were -- and the Count wasn't stupid; Rikugo was one troubled shikigami -- soon he would solve that problem and leave for his own realm.

"Let's make the best of it," Ryu murmured, emptying the sherry.

* * *

The days blurred, one into the other, and Rikugo found himself relaxing more and more. He spent little time with Tsuzuki, sometimes just coming by to say hello, then he was off again to the Palace. Ryu was a very entertaining host. They talked a lot. A whole lot. Not just about little things, they also discussed a few more fundamental things, and while the master of the Palace of Candles knew all about shikigami and GensouKai, he had never had more information than was in his books. Rikugo was his chance to learn more and he asked whatever came to mind.

The astrologer had no trouble answering those questions. He was very willing to do so, too. He had no idea why he was so absolutely relaxed in a demonic presence. True, Ryu wasn't registering as a pure-blood on his senses, more like Tsuzuki did when he let his powers flare, but he was a true demon and there was no denying it. Nevertheless, in all his time here, Rikugo had never felt unwell.

That this demon also had an effect on him was something else. It was something worrisome, but also very, very nice. Worrisome because Rikugo hadn't felt like it in ages, and nice because... because it was nice. He liked to feel this sizzle, this little prickle of attraction, and from the way Ryu sometimes looked at him, it wasn't one-sided.

Rikugo had to smile to himself when he remembered how Ryu had watched him, open lust in his eyes, and then blushed for a moment when he had registered that the shikigami could see him. For everyone else he had been invisible all his life; for Rikugo, he was always visible, whether he wore the mask or not.

He enjoyed it all.

Every single minute.

And with every minute, the prickles grew stronger, the attraction grew, and his starved body reacted in a way he could no longer suppress.

Rikugo smiled when he heard the Count laugh wholeheartedly. It was a sound he hadn't really heard from him before, and he had to admit he liked it. A lot.

When he looked up he met a pair of smoldering red eyes, holding a fire within them that was more than just the demonic heritage. There was something like -- longing, and yet... Rikugo had to swallow the lump that had appeared in his throat all of a sudden.

Time seemed to freeze, the air between them crackling with a life on its own when he minutely bent over to the man at his side, cupping his face with a hand. Leaning in a little more he was met halfway, lips brushing over his. Rikugo pulled back when he felt his lips tingle where they had touched the other man's, and he looked at the Count, a question in his eyes.

Ryu's face held an unreadable expression, and there was a sadness in his eyes, deeply engraved by two millennia of loneliness, it almost broke the astrologer's heart. But there was more, an answer to the question Rikugo hadn't even voiced, and when their lips met again it was with more fervor, igniting a fire within him that Rikugo had believed extinguished a long time ago. Yet, here it was, starting to burn through his veins and glowing inside him, making him gasp into the kiss. The other man broke the kiss immediately, but Rikugo didn't want him to pull back entirely, holding him but still giving him enough room should he want to escape. Instead he felt the hesitant weight of a hand resting on his hip, and Rikugo caressed the jaw line reassuringly.

"Rikugo?" the Count whispered, red eyes wide, and he bent down again, pulling the other man against his body.

There was no resistance, his lips met eagerly, and the arm wrapping itself around his waist brought their bodies even closer together. Rikugo sighed when he felt the fire being stoked inside him, the hardness brushing against his own a dead giveaway of the other man's state.

"Ryu?" he murmured into a slightly pointed ear, feeling the body in his arms shiver and he breathed over the tip again deliberately.

Dark red eyes searched for him, and the Count nodded before he pulled out of his embrace, taking his hand.

"Upstairs," he said, voice hoarse.

And Rikugo followed.

The bedroom was -- huge. There were big soft carpets on the stone floor, as thick as they came, and Rikugo had no doubt that he would sink into them ankle-deep and be able to walk soundlessly. Ancient looking tapestries on the walls, antique looking Chinese war scenes painted on silk, large dark oak furniture that looked massive and heavy, a fire was crackling in a wonderfully shaped fire place, somehow giving the massive room a homey and comfortable atmosphere. The center of it all was a large four poster bed, big enough for four people his size, Rikugo mused. Silken sheets seemed to invite him in, and -- Rikugo chuckled inwardly with amusement -- there was even the large soft coat of a bear on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"So this is your place, hm?" Rikugo said, smirking.

He didn't really know what he had expected, but really not something like this.

"Like it?" Ryu teased, pulling him close, nipping at his jaw in a playful manner.

"Fitting," Rikugo answered, capturing the teasing mouth with a kiss. "Fitting for you."

Ryu's eyes sparkled and his face was alight with emotions that Rikugo had never seen with such intensity. He stopped thinking about the meaning of what he saw when nimble fingers slid under his clothes, caressed warm skin, and he was maneuvered toward the huge bed.

Clothes were shed as the two men followed an ancient need, and skin met skin, two pairs of eyes roaming appreciatively over the other's body. Rikugo's gaze found only flawless skin, a perfect body, long-limbed, lithe, powerful in a seductively secret way. Muscles stretched underneath smooth skin and there was so much Rikugo wanted to touch.

His hands wandered over that smooth skin of the other man's abdomen, noticing every hitch in breathing, every shiver or tremble as he caressed Ryu's flanks, trailing soft kisses on his neck and collarbone. Deprived of human touch for about two thousand years there were contradicting emotions running over Ryu's face, tugging at Rikugo's heart, but finally red eyes closed in ecstasy when the body came up to meet his every touch, lean into every caress like a huge cat would.

Hesitant fingers brushed over his own skin, leaving fiery trails behind and making him shiver as well. Rikugo searched for his lover's lips again, while his fingers ghosted over the stomach and deeper. He was rewarded with a long breathy moan when he found what he had been looking for, curling his fingers around the neglected hardness. Parting his lover's thighs farther he rested between them, so he could take care of both of their needs, understanding that Ryu, though quite willing, most certainly wouldn't be able to. The long legs parted, inviting him in, and Ryu's hips started to jerk with every stroke of his hand, fingers burying in his hair, as Ryu gave himself over to the pleasure.

Both men didn't last long.

*

Rikugo looked at the man in his arms, studying the relaxed features, the closed eyes that normally showed such an intense, blood red color with intricate fiery trails in their depths. He had seen these eyes laugh and light up with mischief in his company. He had seen them darken with memories, with pain that was yet to be shared, and he had seen them filled with passion.

Passion.

Like they had just shared.

Ryu had cried his name, had spent himself emotionally as well as physically, and he had fallen asleep in his new lover's arms.

So trusting...

Rikugo stroked over the pitch black hair, such a contrast to the pale skin that had never tanned. He followed the line of the cheeks, the jaw, and he caressed the slightly pointed ears.

So very trusting.

He hadn't known the man for more than a few days, just over a week, and he had slept with him.

Rikugo sat up, careful not wake the sleeping Count.

What have I done? he thought, shocked. He had come to this place to forget, to clear his head... not to sleep with the first man that attracted him!

Raking a hand through his now so short hair, he shook his head.

You stupid moron!

The shikigami slipped out of the bed, silent as a cat, and collected his clothes. Looking back at the single figure in the so very large bed, yearning rose. So innocent, so handsome... so desirable... Rikugo wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers, feel the warm, living body next to him, hear each breath, listening to him sleeping. And he wanted to look into those eyes when they opened...

The astrologer shook himself.

No. Stop it before you make another mistake, Rikugo. You made one once before.

And he left.

Quietly, without a word, he left the palace.

* * *

He woke to an empty bed. Cold sheets, the only warmth from his own body, and the light of a new morning coming through the half closed blinds. Red eyes gazed at the place where his lover had been when he had slipped off into sleep, where blond hair had fanned out over the pillows.

Ryu sat up, eyes still fixed to that spot, and he felt a weight settle on his fragmented soul that was heavier than he had ever expected it to be.

Rikugo was gone.

He had left.

He briefly closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

It had been the shikigami's right. There had been no expectations, no promises. Just a good time. A slow, sardonic smile distorted his features.

Yes, no promises.

I slept with a shikigami, one of the Divine Commanders, he thought with a sigh. What did I expect anyway? Flowers? Breakfast in bed? For crying out loud, he is one of the twelve most powerful shikigami!

The thought alone that he would ever get to touch this man more intimately, kiss him, sleep with him, was farfetched. But it had happened, and the time had been good. He hadn't felt like this in centuries. He hadn't even thought he was still able to feel like this at all. There were still emotions; and there was still the ability to hurt.

Pushing back the covers, Ryu rose from the bed and padded over to the window. He opened the blinds and looked at the approaching dawn. Well, the memories would keep him happy for a few nights, but he knew the realization that this had been just an interlude would come back with a vengeance.

But he had lived this life so far, had overcome so much pain and soul-breaking emotions; he would survive this, too, somehow.

* * *

It was two days later that Rikugo found himself standing in front of the very man he had abandoned after their first time together. He had spent those forty-eight hours alone, in the remotest places he could find, and though Tsuzuki had given him odd looks when they met throughout that time, his master had never asked. Rikugo was glad because he had no idea how to explain what had happened to Tsuzuki.

In those hours he watched the sky, the clouds, contemplated his life and the events of the last months, beginning from the moment Touda had been bound to Tsuzuki. It was how it had all begun, it had been the start of an avalanche of events. He had always been there, as an observer, as a helper, but never had he been a main figure until the day the devil had possessed Byakko and had created the false reality.

As the two days passed and Rikugo worked through his inner turmoil he found he needed to go back to the palace. He needed to explain. He hadn't wanted to abandon Ryu, hadn't wanted him to wake up to an empty bed and find nothing but a cold, rumpled spot. He needed the other man to understand the reasons.

So he went.

What he hadn't bet on was the emotion racing through him upon looking into those blood red eyes, glinting in the candle light. He hadn't bet on the slender figure in the formal suit that only enhanced the deceptive frailty of this body. He hadn't bet on his reaction to the gentle tenor as the Count smiled and greeted him.

"You're back."

Rikugo felt his breath catch in his throat, felt the words of explanation die as his brain sparked and sizzled, as he stood rooted to the spot while Ryu came closer.

A gloved hand cupped his cheek.

"Welcome," the Count murmured.

Rikugo couldn't help lean down, bring their lips together, lightly tasting the other man. He felt the reaction, felt Ryu lean closer to him, and he wrapped a careful arm around the narrow waist. Pulling him even closer he still left him the chance to disentangle them, to step away if he presumed too much, but part of him screamed to hold on, to never let go. He wanted this man.

Red eyes gazed at him, filled with something equally needy, hungry, and openly primal.

"Rikugo."

His name. It evoked goose bumps, it made him tremble with the need to take this man, close the door behind them and have his way with him.

And then his lips were sealed by a hungry mouth, and he responded in kind, forgetting all about explanations and regrets.

* * *

Tsuzuki wasn't blind. He might be called innocent and child-like, but he wasn't blind. He especially wasn't blind to his shikigami, and currently he was watching one specific shikigami very closely.

Rikugo had slowly recovered from the broken, hurt being he had found in the farthest region of Meifu, which he had brought home and tried to help as best as he could. Tsuzuki knew he would never understand the depth of Rikugo's pain, but he had a good idea. His own partner had been the victim of rape and abuse, but in Hisoka's case it had been very real, and his tormentor hadn't been one of his friends; it had been Muraki. So yes, he understood part of it, but he couldn't imagine what it would be like for him should one of his friends think he had done such horrible things to him.

Rikugo was a very gentle being, though also quite powerful and dangerous. Still, he was caring, he had seen Byakko grow up, had been his friend and teacher, and to know that a devil had implanted such horrors into the white tiger's mind... Tsuzuki felt the need to comfort them both. He had no chance to visit GensouKai and he actually had no idea how to approach Byakko about the subject, but at least he could do something about Rikugo.

When his shikigami had started to show signs of improvement Tsuzuki had felt slight hope rise. Everyone knew Rikugo was here and Hisoka was in the front row when it came to Tsuzuki's worries and hopes. It was in those days of improvement that Tsuzuki noticed the smiles, the light in the black eyes, the spirit coming back out of hiding. Whatever Rikugo did, wherever he went, someone or something was helping.

So one day he followed.

And he was surprised to notice that the earth dragon was visiting the Palace of Candles. He did so daily, and Tsuzuki's confusion increased because Rikugo's relaxed state told him that whatever happened within those ancient walls, it was helping his friend. He doubted Rikugo was falling victim to any of the perverse pleasures that rumors had it the Count indulged in. Tsuzuki had been the repeated victim of a very... offensive approach. He usually claimed that Tsuzuki had to pay his debts with his body, but there had been no follow-ups to the threats. There had never been any approaches aside from the playful ones throughout their encounters.

Tsuzuki still remembered the talk the two had had after he had seen the illusion of Muraki throughout the masquerade. It had been a moment like he had never experienced before; a Count he had never seen before.

'You don't have to forget. People with a heart suffer from their darkness,' the Count had whispered softly, his voice warm and caring and so very empathic.

No cheerful exuberance, no sexual approach, no witty remarks. Just a gentleness that calmed Tsuzuki's upset mind, and an aura he had somehow recognized but couldn't name. He had felt safe, so completely safe. He hadn't fought the embrace of a man who had tried to grope him before, who had tried to get into his pants more often than not. He had sunken against the firm chest, heard the reassuring beat of a human heart, and he had let his mind clear of the darkness that had risen inside him.

Safe... he had felt safe... ensconced in an aura so familiar, all his guards had been down. He had been open and vulnerable, and the Count hadn't taken advantage of him.

'I want to see your beautiful face smile again,' he had said. 'You don't know what your smile means to me.'

No, he didn't. He had no clue as to who the man behind the mask was. Since that day he knew something else, though -- the man behind the mask was not the man they called the Count. For a brief moment Tsuzuki had caught a glimpse of the soul invisible to all...

... invisible...

... to all?

Maybe Rikugo had seen the same Tsuzuki suspected; maybe he had truly Seen.

Intrigued by the idea the shinigami went back to the Judicial building.

Then there had been the episode when he had been infected by the poison from a quickly killed devil. The Palace of Candles had been the quarantine unit because the poison was only infecting shinigami, and throughout the week he had spent there, Tsuzuki had caught glimpses unlike before. He had talked to the man behind the mask and he had been even more confused about him than before.

Who was he? What was the strange aura he always felt around the keeper of the candles?

There was only one way to find out.

* * *

Tsuzuki had no idea if it had been a good choice to come here alone, though even with a friend or partner present there was no telling what the Count might do around him. No one else was approached by the masked man like Tsuzuki was. Having Hisoka or Tatsumi there was no guarantee for safety from groping hands, least of all from very direct sexual advances of a verbal kind.

So Tsuzuki was surprised when Watson led him into the winter garden and the Count greeted him in a jovial but very laid back way.

"May I offer you some tea, Tsuzuki?"

Violet eyes tried to bore through the invisibility shield and failed. He so wanted to look behind what protected this man from prying eyes.

Who are you?

That question burned through him more fervently than ever, because this was the man who had become a part of Rikugo's life. This was the man his shikigami had visited each and every single day, spending hours, maybe even a night, in the palace.

Tsuzuki wasn't blind at all.

He saw affection in those now bright eyes again. He saw warmth and maybe even love. He didn't know if it was love, but there was a feeling he knew. He had seen the same look in Tatsumi's eyes before he and Watari had gotten together. And he himself had probably looked the same way at Hisoka.

So... what if Rikugo and the Count had found something to share? An emotion?

Well, it made Tsuzuki curious enough about the man to try and get to know him better. Rikugo wasn't desperate, he wasn't looking for an easy adventure, and even if he did, why choose this man everyone only knew as a pervert as his bed partner?

It was what he was about to find out.

He took the offer for tea.

Not just once.

He came back time and again, and he began to discover more of the man underneath the pretense who started to fascinate him. That, and the familiar aura. It was there again, like back then in the room where the Count had comforted him.

'You don't know what your existence means to me.'

Who was he? Why did he feel so familiar?

'Life in this palace that is my prison isn't so bad as long as there is your smile.'

He had been alone with this man, completely and utterly alone, in his arms... Tsuzuki would probably have done everything in that moment, shell-shocked and in need of reassurance. The Count had done nothing but comfort him, hold him until the tremors had stopped. Tsuzuki's memories were sketchy of some moments, but he had been aware of the strong hands stroking over his back, a soft voice repeating the reassurances verbally, and the aura enveloping him.

Familiar.

So he came back again and again.

Like throughout the quarantine they talked, about daily matters, about cases, about whatever came to mind. The halting conversation of the first hours was soon replaced by a friendly atmosphere, one no longer permeated by sexual assault on all kinds of levels.

Tsuzuki didn't know what to make of the conflicting information.

And the mystery that was this man grew.

* * *

Ryu was no fool. He was old enough to be wise, or insane, whatever hit first -- though insanity had been knocking on his door a few times in those millennia. Well, so maybe he was wise, but he doubted it. At least he wasn't stupid enough to believe in luck. A luck that brought him not only his first lover in so many centuries but also his secret desire.

Tsuzuki had been his fascination from day one. He had felt the young shinigami's arrival in Meifu, had felt the aura that, despite its youth, had already touched his, had caressed over his senses and announced someone he would desperately want to meet. And he had. He had met Tsuzuki Asato and had fallen for this loveable young man.

All his advances had been just to be near him, to see his face, his smile, feel the gentle energy waves that made up his presence. It was intoxicating, it was addictive, and he would never be able to get rid of this need to have Tsuzuki around him.

So now he was here, came here more often than within the last years, and they had tea together. They were actually talking, and there was nothing sexual about it. That was farthest from Ryu's mind. He had settled himself to the fact that he would have to live off the memory of having the young shinigami in his arms after the horror he had seen in one of the many rooms of the palace, but then there had been the fever raging through the lithe body, and he had had Tsuzuki to himself for a week. No cavalry to save him, nowhere he might run, but Ryu hadn't touched his guest.

It had been a wonderful time, filled with discovering that his humane side had not yet withered and died with the perversion, the insanity and the weight of being what he was. But even that week had to end and he had been alone again.

Until now...

...now Tsuzuki came here voluntarily.

So the question that arose was finally voiced out loud.

"Why are you here?"

Tsuzuki looked up from his cup and those wide, innocent eyes held an expression of utter confusion. They were a total contradiction to the man himself. Ryu watched the face for any kind of deception, but he found none. He never had before.

"Uh, because you invited me over?"

True, he had. He had told Tsuzuki to come by whenever he felt like it. He had never expected him to do so.

Ryu chuckled wryly. "You never came here voluntarily before, Tsuzuki. You never stayed more than you had to. You always evaded being alone with me. Why now?"

"I think it's time to get to know the man who has such influence on one of my friends," was the casual answer.

"Come again?"

Something inside the Count had frozen at the words, was shocked and tried to comprehend what the shinigami was telling him.

"Tell me, Count, what is it you feel for Rikugo?"

He had never been so glad to be invisible as he was now. All blood left his face and he knew his mouth was hanging open in shock.

"Rikugo?" he managed.

"My shikigami. Tall, blond, black eyes... you know him." Tsuzuki's eyes gave nothing away and were fixed on the mask. "He comes here often."

"To read," Ryu stuttered. "I mean, the library..." He stopped when the expression of the other man didn't change.

"Do you love him?"

He almost physically stepped back. No! No, that couldn't be real! He had to be dreaming!

"He comes here as a guest..."

"Because if you do," Tsuzuki went on conversationally, "it might be prudent to tell him. He's been not himself for a while now. I know he doesn't come here to read. There's more to you and him than just friends, too. My experience might not be the best, but I beat around the bush way too long, too."

Ryu shook his head, trying to collect himself. "Tsuzuki, you can't in all honesty believe that your shikigami would come here for me."

"Why not?" The question was so soft, so calm, it broadsided him, took his breath away.

He laughed awkwardly. "Why would such a proud being lower himself to be with a pervert?" he tried humor.

"Maybe because he sees what I'm starting to see after so many years."

He trembled slightly. No...

"Do you love him?" Tsuzuki repeated his question.

Ryu turned away. "You should leave before they miss you."

"Do you love him?" the younger man asked again.

"Tsuzuki..."

"Do. You. Love. Him?"

"Stop asking me what I can't answer!" Ryu yelled, anger rising.

Tsuzuki stepped back under the loud barrage and the Count inhaled shakily, looking into a pair of wide, violet eyes that completely disarmed him, drew him close.

"Please, stop," he whispered.

"Why? I think you love him. I think you feel something for him."

"No. I stopped feeling a long time ago."

Tsuzuki came closer, radiating empathy. "Why are you lying to yourself?"

Because it's easier than facing the truth, hoping for what I can never have.

"He might come here," Ryu said, almost to himself, "but he's not here to stay. Letting myself believe that will only hurt me in the end. I learned that in my life, my existence, Tsuzuki. I'm setting myself up for pain if I let him take a hold of me like this. Rikugo won't be here forever. It's only a moment in time; one day he will go out and leave, and not come back. I'm unable to go after him, and maybe it's better this way."

Tsuzuki's wide-eyed gaze of disbelief and pain hurt Ryu in turn and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and wrap his arms around the slender man, comfort him. But he didn't.

Look, don't touch. Tsuzuki was Hisoka's. Hisoka had found what Ryu wanted, what he needed, but he didn't hate the boy for it. Hisoka, like all of the shinigami, came from a painful past and whatever happiness he could find, it was for him.

Happiness is for other people, he thought dimly, smiling humorlessly.

"Rikugo isn't like that," Tsuzuki murmured.

"Maybe, but he's also not a being to be bound to this place. I am. I can't ever leave. My life is here. I can never see his world, be with him in his home. I can never be a true partner. He has to come to me, he can leave whenever he wants." The Count sighed softly. "Tsuzuki, accept it. Whatever there is for me, I will take it. It's more than enough, a gift I cannot refuse. I swear I will never hurt your shikigami. I couldn't."

Now he did reach out to touch that young face, unable to stop himself. Memories came back, of this body in his arms, of Tsuzuki leaning in for comfort.

"I would never hurt you."

Amethyst eyes met his, unable to see him, unable to discern the expression of soul-deep pain, but still Tsuzuki knew it.

"You should go," Ryu said softly, stroking over the smooth cheek. "Thank you for your company, Tsuzuki Asato."

It means so much more to me than you could ever fathom.

"May I come back?" the shinigami asked.

He laughed, the sound almost a sob. "Of course. You're always welcome here, my friend. Always."

I'd love to share my eternity with you, but you don't deserve this pain. All I ask is for your smile, Tsuzuki. Nothing more.

*

He stood at the window and watched Tsuzuki leave. His mind was whirling, his body shaking with the belated reaction to the words.

'Do you love him?'

The question resonated in his soul.

Yes, a voice whispered. Yes, I do. But there is no future for this emotion. There is no sense in it. He doesn't respond with the same feelings. I'm dooming myself, setting myself up to be hurt. And it will hurt badly.

He rested his head against the cool pane of the glass.

"Sir?"

The gravelly voice didn't so much as draw a flinch out of him. Watson had seen him all states and conditions. There was no secret, no lie, between them. Watson shared this punishment.

"Yes?"

"Do you want me to prepare dinner?"

Ryu gazed at the empty front yard. "No. I don't feel hungry."

"Very well."

And he was left alone.

Alone.

His punishment and his eternal sentence.

Ryu smiled wryly.

* * *

The room was in semi-darkness, the only light coming from the odd candle here or there and the big screen plasma TV that dominated most of the large basement room. Moans echoed in the silence, coming from the loudspeaker system that would make a theater owner burst into tears of appreciation. Dolby surround had taken a next step.

The tall, blond man moved in his bonds, the chains clinking softly, leather rubbing sensuously over glistening skin. Muscles stood out with the strain of his efforts to move against what held him in place while torturous hands ran over the slick skin, teased and tickled, stroked and caressed. The hands brushed over the knot that kept the blindfold in place, then played with the whitish blond strands cascading down, creating a silky waterfall over the perfectly shaped body.

Ryu let his own hands wander over his heated skin, underneath his wide open shirt, his eyes on the screen. They were half closed, his body thrumming with the reaction to the sensuous input.

The blond cried out as his torturer continued his assault, licking hot spots, running a riding crop over long legs, between them, rubbing over the straining hardness it found there.

Ryu exhaled softly and let his own hands go where he felt his desire rise.

The internet was a glorious institution, he mused, his brain fogged with lust. So many wonderful files to be found, such intriguing new concepts he had tried out -- each and every one. Immortality had its perks because there would always be a new wave of supplies, of ideas, of porn. This basement room was testimony to the centuries of perversion of mankind. It wasn't like he was the ultimate pervert; someone else had come up with it first and he had found it intriguing. It helped with the boredom as decades turned into centuries, turned into millennia.

The blond moaned, straining more, but this time into the touch of the dark-haired man so slowly massaging the hard evidence of his wants and needs.

Ryu closed his eyes, his mind slowly replaying his own pleasure. He had given himself to it countless times, had reached climax in a multitude of ways, and he had used images from movies, from pictures, from artwork to complete the illusion.

Now the image was of a blond man, so much like the one bound and blind-folded, needy and crying for more. Blond hair spilled over the shoulders down his back, a back that was showing every string of muscle as it arched under his touch. The eyes were closed in ecstasy, legs tried to spread wider.

Ryu increased his manipulations as the porn movie took the next step, as the moans turned into cries of pleasure, into demands for more. And more was given. He knew exactly when the dark-haired torturer would slide into his submissive, when he would start his next round of teasing and mastery.

His mind's eyes changed the blond of his imagination, his fantasy grew more to reality as images of another night slipped in. He found himself looking down on a well-known face, seeing nothing but lust and pleasure in the onyx eyes, the arms high over his head, bound, shackled, secured to the bed. The legs the same, spread open, the body at his mercy. He took in the various leather straps that encircled the blond's arousal, that put it on wonderful, erotic display.

"Rikugo..."

Ryu heard the name, his own voice whispering it with such devotion, and his eyes snapped open as his fantasy was suddenly no longer that.

As the illusion became too real, as his desires and the physical reality collided.

No!

Arousal deflating a little, he sat up, exhaling sharply.

No, not Rikugo. He couldn't... he wouldn't... As much as his fantasies involved mastery and bondage, just thinking that he would use the shikigami like that, that he would mar that wonderful body with those tools...

Ryu rose abruptly and switched off the porn movie. Silence descended, only broken by his harsh breaths.

No!

He would never do this to this wonderful man. He would never try to dominate him, be the master of the best thing that had happened to him in a long time.

Ryu ran a shaky hand through his tousled hair and tried to calm down.

How could he even think that?

Using their encounters to feed his starving body and soul while Rikugo wasn't here was one thing; inserting the bdsm angle was... sick.

He smiled humorlessly.

Yeah, well, I am a pervert, right? I am jaded and damaged beyond repair...

But he would never live out this fantasy with Rikugo. Never. Even if the shikigami came up to him one day and tell him that this was their last encounter.

Closing his shirt and making himself presentable, Ryu left the room and pulled the door shut. He no longer felt the need, nor the lust. The image of Rikugo had been like a dose of cold water.

What are you doing to me, shikigami? he thought with a faint smile.

* * *

It was the first time in over two weeks that Rikugo was back in GensouKai. In a way he had missed it; then again, not really considering what lurked here. He just hoped his presence would go unnoticed, as well as his powered down state. Wearing the high-necked cloak he could hide the shorter hair, though if anyone truly scanned him they would immediately realize that something was wrong.

Genbu knew and upon his return the old Gold just gave him a close look, then smiled.

"Welcome back."

"I see everything's still standing, so Sohryu didn't go on a rage," Rikugo chuckled.

"No, he didn't, but he asked where you were several times. I told him you were... conducting experiments away from here." Genbu stroked his beard. "I'm not sure he bought it, though."

Rikugo sighed. He probably hadn't.

"You look improved, Rikugo," the Protector of the North went on. "I take it you had some relaxing times?"

Thoughts and memories of Ryu flashed by and Rikugo found himself nodding. "Yes."

"Good."

And with that Genbu walked off, the walking stick clicking on the floor.

Good? Rikugo thought. Good? Was it good? It sure had felt wonderful to be with Ryu, but... could this be truly it? Could it last?

He wanted it to, yes. He so badly wanted it to. Ryu, despite being a soul with more than enough damage of its own, was like a balm he had been looking for without being aware of it. His presence alone helped Rikugo come to terms with his 'crimes'.

Good.

Very good. It was very good.

Rikugo sighed. How long did 'very good' stay that way before turning into something terrible?

* * *

Meifu was only one of five realms in existence. It was the realm of Judgment where Enma-Daiou ruled over the souls, decided where they would go. It was neutral ground so to speak. Intricately connected to this central part of the Order was the world of the living, the two realms that were governed by the Lords of Heaven and Hell, and GensouKai, the realm of dreams. Each was kept apart from the other by barriers and shields, and GensouKai was only accessible by Gates that were guarded by Gate Keepers like Wakaba. Two shinigami had the power to come and go without the Gates, but their access could never be used to let an unauthorized person enter.

And even if a demonic entity should choose to do so, Enma-Daiou could immediately detect it.

The wormhole problem had been solved for a while now and unwanted disappearances of shikigami of low levels through an accidental wormhole were no longer an option. The main computer of the dream world now controlled those incidents.

So it was with surprise that the Count noticed the fluctuation in the barriers. He had sat in the study, going through old books, when the faint shift had alerted him to something quite out of the ordinary.

When the alarms started, he was already moving toward the great hall that was the entrance into the Palace of Candles, long legs eating of the distance. His own nature stirred as it recognized a brother, though only in powers. His demonic side would never serve Hell, nor anyone else. Enma-Daiou had made that clear and Ryu had no intention of becoming a creature of darkness the likes only Hell brought forth.

He stopped at the second floor balcony and looked down into the empty room, brows drawn down over glowing red eyes.

Something stirred.

Like dry leaves in an autumn breeze, fluttering ominously, announcing the coming of something greater.

"Sir?"

The gravelly voice was at his knee level, but Ryu didn't take his eyes from the emptiness.

"We have a guest, Watson," he said, voice no longer jovial or warm. It lacked any kind of positive emotion. "We better prepare a welcome."

"I understand, Sir."

"Lock down the Palace. It might have gotten in, but it won't get out again."

"Yes, Sir."

Watson disappeared, his small legs taking him down the corridor to the stairs at the other side of the floor.

Ryu tilted his head a little, frowning more. Again there was a stirring and it moved. Slow, deliberately slow, scouting.

Curious.

And then the Palace gave him another bearing and he snorted.

Of all the balls... Whatever he was, he was already moving through the Hall of Mirror.

Gutsy.

Without bothering with the stairs, the Count easily jumped the balustrade, airborne for a second, then he dropped lithely to the floor two stories below. He caught the impact easily, knees bending, one hand touching the ground to steady himself, then he straightened.

He walked down the hallway to the Hall of Mirrors, power wafting around him like a living being, a snarling, coiling mass of energy that was just waiting to strike out at its opponent. He drew more and more with every step, felt the seal dissolve under the defensive forces coming to his beck and call. And with each crack and crumble of the eternal lock his true nature was revealed more and more.

Red eyes took on a fiery glow, a shimmer of gold and orange and the dusky amber of a smoldering fire. Round ears suddenly had a little pointy edge and when he bared his teeth, fangs glinted dangerously behind his lips. The power was there, at his grasp, everything he had inherited from the creature he had thought to destroy and that had made him his spawn. Back then, so long ago, he had become what his people had always called him, but today he was able to use it, the power and strength of a demon.

The intruder was close, still within the Hall, but now at the other end, taking its time to look for what it had come here, and Ryu knew where it would want to be. There was only one interesting part in this place for such a thing.

The Count turned another corner, quite aware of where the thing was. He was the master of this building, the palace, and he knew where everything and everyone was if he wanted to. He and this building were quite interwoven.

Whatever had come here, it was dangerous, it was demonic, of a devil's making, and it was homing in on the Candles. Something about it was also quite odd, not really demonic, but he sensed the aura underneath it. It was a devil laying in wait, a creature hiding behind something that was growing less and less to shield it properly.

Stepping into the Hall of Mirror, he looked down the length of the expensive room with its marble pillars and priceless artifacts. Red eyes homed in on the creature that had dared to breach his home.

"Who are you?" he asked loudly.

The man was human, at least by appearance. About his size, with brown hair, dressed in a pair of simple pants, a casual sweater, and wearing glasses. The Count stopped for a moment, caught by surprise.

This was the intruder? A simple human who radiated such danger and looked like he was barely past his thirties?

Then again, looks could be deceiving. Tsuzuki was the best example. He was the most innocent creature he had ever seen, but he wasn't. He could wipe out Meifu with his powers if he ever thought about it. The Count smiled grimly.

Something stirred again, like a bubble coming to the surface in a glass of sparkling water. Slow, deliberate, cautious. There was more where that came from, but he couldn't really classify it right now.

Demonic, yes. His kin. But which one?

"You're the caretaker," the human said slowly, looking at him as if he was a very interesting species of insect.

"And you're trespassing."

"I want her candle."

He blinked. "What?"

And how had he come here? The shift of power the Count had felt had been of demonic proportions! No human could enter the realm of Enma-Daiou unless he was dead, and this man looked very much alive. And no devil could enter either. So what was this man? A vessel? A devil in disguise? Or a summoner who had used a devil to fulfill his desires?

Humans were so foolish sometimes, he mused darkly. He had been the same once. Too sure of himself, too naïve, convinced there would be no drawbacks.

So had this poor man done what he thought he had? Had he called upon a creature of darkness to come here? What did he think he could do here? The Palace of Candles was even outside the Juo-Cho's jurisdiction. Everything the Count did was out of the goodness of his heart -- he chuckled sarcastically -- not because any of the shinigami had any say in the matters of life and death.

"My daughter Mako. She is in your books and I want her back. I want her candle," the intruder said. "I want Mako back."

The Count smiled humorlessly. So his child had been killed or had died of a sickness and he wanted her back among the living.

"Impossible. Her candle has been extinguished and no one can light it again. The books cannot be rewritten."

Well, he had done so once or twice, for Tsuzuki. It had been no serious crime and not even Enma-Daiou could punish him for it. But to relight a candle for more than a few hours and alter the books forever? No...

"You can," came the toneless answer.

Well, yes, he could. But he wouldn't.

"Do it."

"No."

There was a shift in powers and Ryu tensed a little. Something was odd here; and something was very wrong. Again he had the sensation of demon kin close by. Very close by.

"You have the power," the man repeated, the eyes strangely empty. "You can do it. You can bring her back to me. She is all I've left."

"Sorry, no."

Demon kind... very close... right...

... here...

He barely had a second to react when the human moved. With a speed only rivaled by a shinigami the simple man had struck out and where the Count had been there was now a crater, smoking slightly.

What was he?!

Dull eyes glowed with an unholy light and there was a tearing, ripping sound as the back of the human broke open, wings extending like a grotesque scaffolding, with leathery membranes, dripping blood. The whole body underwent a transformation that was as disgusting as it was fascinating. The brief scream from the man was cut off and transformed into a roar. Within a second the human form was no more. In its place crouched a creature from Hell.

"Hid, hm?" the Count asked casually. "How truly devilish of you."

The fanged mouth broke into a grin and a deep, grating chuckle could be heard. "He was such easy prey," the devil snarled.

"Aren't they all?" Ryu raised one hand, collecting power in his open palm. "Leave," he commanded calmly.

Laughter answered him. "After coming this far? No. These souls are mine! All of them!"

"I beg to differ."

"You think you can stop me, puny shinigami?"

He smiled coldly. "Yes, definitely."

The power spiked.

"Your kind is too weak!"

"You don't even know my kind, but I know yours. I am your kind," Ryu growled, his own aura fluctuating, changing as he finally gave up all pretense.

The devil tilted its head, baring its fangs in a grotesque smile. "I see... This will be more entertaining than I thought."

And all hell broke lose.

* * *

No alarms had gone off in Meifu when the devil had slipped in through a crack in the barrier. It wasn't by accident that the intruder alert remained silent as ancient eyes watched the battle, a slow smile creasing the man's lips. He felt the powers collide, felt two demonic auras crash into each other, and he felt the rising level of his chosen warrior.

Enma-Daiou stood motionlessly, seeing something only he could, witnessing for the first time the true power of the master of the Palace of Candles. The Count was his creation, his tool, his puppet, and Ryu knew it. He had tested the boundaries of his eternal prison a few times, but he had never succeeded in freeing himself from his punishment. Enma had taken care of the matter of the demonic powers this hybrid commanded, and he could only use them in defense of the Candles.

Right now, the destruction was as immense as he had thought it might be.

Yes, you are powerful, my friend, he thought, smiling.

The Lord of Hades turned away from the spectacle, still aware of every move, every blow, and looked toward another place in his realm. There was nothing going on in Meifu he didn't know, wasn't aware of, and he knew that to continue this game another player was needed.

* * *

It was a fight among equals. The devil was strong, but he was also rather big. He had maneuverability problems in the smaller corridors and the Count used whatever edge he got. The creature was so convinced that his opponent was inferior, he made mistakes.

Ryu smiled darkly as he shielded himself against another attack. Chunks of stone blew out of the wall and the floor around him. The moment the devil let up, he dropped the shield and flung his own attack at him, managing to tear a deep wound into the glistening scales. The devil roared and its tail whipped at him, catching him in the shoulder.

Just one wound among many, dripping blood.

Not that he could die of it.

Not that he ever would.

Calling unto his powers, Ryu attacked once more.

* * *

The Palace of Candles looked like someone had taken an oversized battering ram to the ancient building, splitting it open, tearing even the doors off their hinges. They lay in a heap just inside the entrance hall. The ornamented walls were burned, chunks torn out, the tapestries reduced to ashes. The stairs had been destroyed, part of the hall's roof had collapsed, and there was the faint smell of fire and smoke.

And there was blood.

A wide trail of blood leading from the hall to the main ball room and further. It ran along the line of destruction as the invader had tried to get deeper into the Palace to the soul candles. It had met opposition, a powerful opposition, and the opposition had fought back.

The very building had fought back.

The Count sat propped up against the heavy door that led to the basement of the palace where the millions of candles burned. Blood pooled around him, a puddle so large it showed the severity of his injuries.

But he was immortal.

His clothes had been shredded where devil claws had ripped into soft human flesh, had severed muscles, sinews and had broken bones.

He could not die.

One hand covered the largest of the open wounds, blood trickling through. The mask was off, inhuman eyes half-lidded, gazing emptily at the destruction around him. There was a faint smile on the pale lips.

He was immortal. Nothing could kill him. He would not die.

The injuries were fatal, but death would not claim him. Pain did, though. He was in agony and there was nothing that could ease it.

The smile increased. In all his centuries of existence he had never felt like this, had never been taken apart like this. He had never fought a demonic opponent either. No one attacked the Palace of Candles, let alone Meifu. It had been unheard of.

Time passed.

Wounds healed slowly.

Blood stopped trickling, but the blood loss was immense.

A rattle of breath left the damaged, blood-filled lungs. His eyes blinked once, but his vision was still blurry.

Where was Watson?

Had the creature done the same as it had to him?

His servant was no fighter, just his sole companion in this cursed place. He was immortal, but would need to recover as well.

Sinking deeper into the darkness that beckoned, he let his eyes slide shut.

* * *

Rikugo strode into the entrance hall, aghast and shocked by the destruction all around him. He had come to Meifu intent on both visiting his master and be with his lover, but the moment he had arrived something had set off an inner alarm. Tsuzuki had barely had time to ask what was going on before the earth shikigami had taken on his dragon form and had gone off to the Palace, Tsuzuki on his back.

Even from far above in the sky, the destruction had been visible and shock had settled in.

"Oh Gods," Tsuzuki whispered at his side, face pale, eyes wide.

Rikugo followed the faint emissions from the only source of non-human life he knew existed, terrified of what he might find, his master in tow. Stepping over rubble, through ashes and smoldering remains, he finally arrived in the hallway leading to the door that guarded the section where the candles glowed.

Four eyes widened as he took in the crumbled figure, lying in a drying pool of blood.

"Ryu?"

Blood red eyes in a chalky face, surrounded by dried specks of blood, cracked open a little and a faint smile touched the thin lips. There was a rattle, a wet cough, and the figure spasmed.

Rikugo knelt down next to the fatally injured man, running a scan, horrified by the damage. He touched the torn clothes, felt the slick blood covering the shredded pieces, and he swallowed a little.

"Hang on," he murmured.

The expression in the eyes was sarcastic. It wasn't as if the man could die. It was just incredibly painful. The agony of the wounds was the worst.

Rikugo felt the demonic aura of his lover, unchecked and untamed, still defensive, still ready to tear into a possible attacker even if the man using it was almost down for the count. He touched the bloodied face, the red fluid oozing from a deep scalp injury, and he felt the pulse flutter against his fingers. The aura crackled and snapped, roaring around them with the darkness of the devil Ryu had absorbed so long ago.

And then there was another kind of darkness, softer, very cool, responding to the upset and aggressive presence, entwining with it, caressing over it without consciously being aware of it.

Rikugo turned his head and met a pair of amethyst eyes that spoke of the nature of the second aura. Ryu was no longer invisible; the mask was off and somewhere in this chaos, and Tsuzuki saw him. He saw the broken form, the real man behind the voice.

Ryu's frazzled aura calmed down and the slender form shuddered. The astrologer gathered the tortured body in his arms, not caring about the blood and whatnot. The simple move drew a breathy whimper and as Rikugo straightened, the man in his arms lost his battle against unconsciousness.

"We need to find an undamaged room," Tsuzuki said, voice firm, though he still looked horrified.

Rikugo nodded.

*

Enma-Daiou smiled to himself, coldly and calculating, with a touch of pride in it. He felt Tsuzuki's presence in the Palace of Candles, his emissions of darkness close to the level that it might warrant the balancing presence of his serpent shikigami, but he still held himself under control.

"Well done," he murmured, intrigued.

His shinigami was learning fast.

*

They found the main bedroom of the Count almost completely undamaged and Rikugo placed the unconscious man on the white linen, which immediately began to color blood red. He didn't care. For now he had to treat the injuries.

Tsuzuki wordlessly joined him, their eyes meeting. Determination shone in those familiar depths and Rikugo nodded. Tsuzuki smiled wryly, then they began to remove the torn clothes. With each piece of fabric a new terrible wound was uncovered and Tsuzuki soon began to tear apart the cover, creating bandages for their use. Rikugo had no idea where he had it from, but his master disappeared only to come back with a bowl of water and they continued their work.

He knew the body would heal; Ryu was immortal. It might take a while, it would be painful, but death would never claim this man. Still, the fear was there. The empathy for the pain he would have to go through. And the horror at the events.

A devil had entered Meifu in the form of a human host... How? Why had Enma-Daiou let him enter? Hadn't the Lord of Hades been aware of the opening the creature of darkness had used?

Questions tumbled through his mind as he worked, but Rikugo found no answers.

Now and then he sent a little healing power into the slender body he had seen so often before, but never torn up like this.

In the end Tsuzuki changed the sheets again, haphazardly draping fresh ones onto the big bed, and Rikugo gently placed his lover onto them. He felt tired, emotionally exhausted, and when he looked up his master met his gaze with a resolute one of his own.

"Get some rest, Rikugo."

"Tsuzuki..."

"For now there's nothing we can do. He'll need you again later and for that you have to be awake."

"Tsuzuki..." he tried again.

The familiar features softened and Tsuzuki smiled, reaching up to caress the astrologer's face.

"Don't worry. I'll protect him."

Rikugo almost laughed; it came out as a harsh sob of exhaustion. He inclined his head and walked over to the overstuffed, wide couch that had been placed in front of the high windows. It easily fit two people, already had in their shared past in here, and he knew it was very comfortable. Watching Tsuzuki settle down next to Ryu, Rikugo finally allowed his body to relax.

Sleep claimed him not much later.

* * *

He woke to a world of pain, to a pounding headache behind his eyes, to the sensation of broken bones and torn muscles. He couldn't remember a time he had ever felt this bad and with every breath he took, with every fiery pulse that ran down his spine, it grew worse. He heard a soft groan that had to be his own, heard whimpers and protests, and he felt gentle hands on his feverish skin. He felt coolness, softness, a cocoon of safety, and he drifted off once more.

When he woke again the pain was manageable. Red eyes blinked open, met by filtered sunlight coming through the closed blinds. He was in his room; where else? He was still alive; had he expected anything else? No. He was immortal. He couldn't die. What surprised him was that he was actually in his room, not the place where he had finally collapsed.

Someone had brought him here, had cleaned him up, had brought him to bed... but it couldn't have been Watson. His servant had been taken down by the devil as well.

So who...?

There was a little shift in the mattress and he froze.

The Count turned his head and a soft exhalation of air left his lungs.

No!

There, next to him, sat Tsuzuki. Dark, tousled hair fell onto the mattress from where the young shinigami rested his head on his folded arms, upper body bent. He was asleep, using the mattress of Ryu's bed as a pillow.

Ryo could only stare.

Tsuzuki. So close, almost in his reach...

It had been his wildest dream just months ago. Now... now he lay here, injured, unable to move more than a finger, and his wet dream was sleeping innocently in the same bed. Well, his head was resting on the mattress....

He blinked again.

Why was Tsuzuki here at all?

His memories of events after the battle were fuzzy at best. He thought he remembered Rikugo, but that might just be a dream, a hallucination -- wishful thinking.

Had Tsuzuki found him? Brought him here? If so, why? No one cared to come to the Palace unless there was need or unless he invited them. He doubted Enma-Daiou was gracious enough to send his shinigami to the Palace after a devil attack that had been successfully thwarted by its guardian. Enma knew he would heal, that the palace would repair itself. There was no need for help...

So Tsuzuki had come here voluntarily...?

Gazing at the smooth, pale face, Ryo reached out with one trembling hand to touch the light that made his life worthwhile, then let the hand fall again. He sighed softly.

So wonderful, he thought. My dream, my wish, my life. Oh Tsuzuki...

A pair of amethyst eyes suddenly met his soft, loving gaze, the pain forgotten, his punishment of eternal life forgotten. Ryu's breath caught in his throat as he looked into the eyes he had dreamed of, had fallen into so many times.

A smile spread on Tsuzuki's face and he sat up. "Hey, you're awake!" he called.

And he was without his mask.

Enma's name, no!

Trying to turn away from the one man who he had never wanted him to see like this, he cried out as pain flared in every limb of his body. Ryu curled up, panting harshly, eyes screwed shut, trying to ride out the agony.

There was a gentle voice, a touch so gentle and careful it seemed to chase away the pain, and there was a power coursing through him. Healing him, mending his broken body, helping him along with the healing process. Someone ran a careful caress over his head and he sank into the solid form that offered him strength, too tired to care who it was.

"Ryu?" the voice was back, soft, quizzical.

Rikugo...

He opened his eyes, his vision fuzzy from the tears, and he looked into a pair of very black eyes in a worried face.

"Rikugo?" he stammered.

"Yes. Just relax..."

Relax...

He was aware of the warmth that held him and his body shuddered at the realization who it was. Rikugo was in front of him, so... Ryu groaned and closed his eyes, turning his head away, wishing he could just ignore the implications.

Tsuzuki was here; Tsuzuki had seen him. Tsuzuki was holding him in a way he had hoped for and dreamed of for decades. Now... now he just wanted to hide.

Tears wanted to fall and he tried to hold them back, but he was emotionally too wide open to stop it. Groaning, he surrendered to the flood, sliding back into the darkness, that cool and forgiving place.

* * *

Tsuzuki studied the pale face, the healing wounds that scarred what was a handsome countenance with high cheekbones, a perfect nose, a smooth forehead and delicate eyebrows that rode over eyes that spoke of a non-human origin. They spoke of something Tsuzuki didn't want to name, though he guessed it. This wasn't a possessed shinigami; Terazuma's eyes were different. This wasn't a shikigami either. He had eyes like Tsuzuki's.

Demon eyes.

He had felt the aura the moment he had seen the man for the very first time, and something inside of him had reacted to it. It had felt like greeting family...

He shivered a little.

Black hair fell in limp strands into the pale face. The Count's chest rose and fell, but the breathing pattern wasn't healthy yet. Bandages adorned the lithe form. The Count was completely naked, there was only skin and bandages. And he was human. Except for the eyes and the barely really pointed ears...

Tsuzuki watched him, fascinated by the man despite the terrible injuries. He didn't look much older than himself, maybe in his mid-twenties, and he was so very much human... despite the aura.

The demonic aura.

Now he could place it; now he had a name for it. The eyes had been the last clue.

The Count was of demonic heritage, like himself.

Who are you? he wondered. Who are you really?

Rikugo had called him 'Ryu'? Was it his true name?

A moan escaped the injured man and he moved restlessly, which evoked another moan, this time of pain. His face was flushed with fever, a fever that had raged through the healing body for a while now. Rikugo had shared some of his healing energy again, exhausting himself after the brief nap. Tsuzuki had sent him off to sleep some more, which he did, curled up on the couch.

His shikigami was truly worried about the man, and not just on a professional level as a healer. There were emotions there, emotions Tsuzuki recognized from himself and Hisoka while they had danced around the subject of their true feelings.

A whimper escaped the dry lips and Tsuzuki reached out, carefully stroking a light touch over the hot skin.

Red eyes cracked open, unfocused, glazed, and filled with suffering. Drawn to the pain, wanting to help, Tsuzuki leaned over the man and smiled calmingly.

"It's okay," he whispered, brushing the sweat soaked hair from the feverish forehead. "It's okay..."

The eyes closed again and a soft sigh left the Count.

Tsuzuki kept up his soothing caress. It was when he felt a gaze rest upon him that he turned and met the onyx gaze of his shikigami. Rikugo looked at him, still tired, a strange expression in his eyes.

The shinigami just smiled.

He knew it would be okay. Things would be fine.

* * *

Tsuzuki sat on the comfortable couch, Indian-style, hands wrapped around a mug of lemon-flavored green tea. The hot liquid did a lot to ease his tense muscles, as did the presence of his lover and partner. Hisoka was watching him from intense green eyes, waiting, giving him time to collect his thought.

The attack on the Palace was by now known throughout Meifu and Tsuzuki had talked with Tatsumi for quite some time, asking him to give the Count some time to regenerate before anyone came over. Tatsumi had agreed, as had Konoe. Tsuzuki hadn't liked the expression in Konoe's eyes throughout the briefing. He knew that their boss had a direct line to Enma-Daiou and that alone made him suspicious now and then. As much as he was a very humane and approachable man, he also took his orders from the Lord of this realm, and he knew more than he usually let on.

Placing the cup on the table, Tsuzuki leaned back into the cushions, sighing a little.

Rikugo was staying at the Palace, taking care of the gravely injured master of the place. Tsuzuki couldn't get rid of the images of the torn up and beaten body of a slender man around his own age, with those completely inhuman eyes. He had always tried to imagine what the Count might look like underneath that mask, behind the shield of invisibility, but he had never thought him to be that...

"Asato?"

He looked up and gave his lover a little smile. "Sorry. I'm not good company right now."

"You were at the Palace. You saw the destruction. I believe you saw more than just a building torn apart," Hisoka said, as always straight-forward.

He reached for him and pulled the willing young man closer. Hisoka settled down beside him and Tsuzuki leaned in for comfort, which was readily given.

"You're an empath," Tsuzuki murmured, feeling Hisoka's physical touch, just like he felt the mental touch in a way he had never thought was possible. "You know I saw more."

"Yes."

They were silent, Hisoka just carding his fingers into the long, dark strands, caressing him in a soothing manner.

"I never thought of him like that," Tsuzuki finally said softly. "He was always the Count, a pervert, a screwball who was trying to get into my pants, and now..."

"You saw what is behind the mask?"

He nodded.

Hisoka placed a kiss on his temple. "Even as an empath I've never felt him before. Only his surface emotions, the perversion."

"He hides well."

"You saw him now."

"I saw someone who was terribly injured by a devil, who defeated that devil, and who isn't like us at all. Someone else... someone..." Tsuzuki broke off and closed his eyes. He wouldn't tell Hisoka what he had seen, describe the Count to him, because what he had witnessed was something very special, very private.

Hisoka kissed him again, pushing him back to stretch out on the couch in the process. "You don't have to tell me, Asato."

"I can't anyway."

"I know."

Hisoka lay down next to him, snuggling close, one arm wrapped around the narrow waist.

"Is Rikugo with him?"

Tsuzuki blinked. "What makes you think...?"

"Tsuzuki... I'm not blind! I know Rikugo has been coming here a lot lately and he went off to the Palace, right?"

Tsuzuki flushed a little.

"Your shikigami are quite something," Hisoka teased a little.

He chuckled. "It's not like that..."

"So Rikugo's not sleeping with the Count?"

Now Tsuzuki did blush. "Hisoka..."

"He does, right? And he's in one piece and you're not over there to beat the crap out of the Count. That means there's a lot more behind that surface image, hm?"

Very perceptive, Tsuzuki thought, looking into the emerald eyes. Not just because you're an empath, huh?

"Yes, there is," he answered after a while, pulling him closer.

Hisoka nodded and left it at that. He slid a hand underneath the white shirt and ran it over the warm skin, making Tsuzuki sigh. When buttons popped open and a gentle mouth and teeth nipped at his skin, Tsuzuki surrendered to his partner's seduction, simply feeling.

* * *

He had curled up on his side, coughing weakly, flecks of blood staining the white sheets. Rikugo knew there was little he could do. His body would heal eventually, but the pain was terrible. Reaching out for the suffering man, the astrologer sent a small amount of healing energy into the tortured body. The Count moaned softly, eyes still closed, flinching under the warm flood. Suddenly his eyes cracked open and he gazed at the shikigami sitting at his side.

"Don't," he whispered, lips dry, chapped, voice breaking. "Stop that."

"I want to help."

"Nothing you can do. It'll heal."

Rikugo rested his hand on the shaking form, channeling a little more. He felt the demon fight his help, but soon the body relaxed again.

"Why?"

"Because I hate to see another suffer. You might be unable to die, but your body has to recover from the damage it took, and it was a lot."

A wry smile. "Seen the other?"

Rikugo chuckled. "The smear on the wall? Yes."

There was a brief expression of dark satisfaction, then the blood red eyes slid shut again. He rested uneasily, shaken by dry coughs, blood trickling out of the corners of his mouth, but he was growing stronger. Rikugo remained where he was, waiting, ready to assist. He sensed Watson's presence, radiating the same weakness as his master, but the misshapen gnome was faster to recover from his wounds.

It didn't take long for him to appear and his one good eye widened at the state his master was in.

"I'm taking care of him, Watson," Rikugo calmed the manservant.

The gnome nodded, but he remained in the room, waiting for any kind of orders should Rikugo or the master need anything.

"What happened?" the astrologer asked.

Ryu closed his eyes and sank into the pillows. "He wanted me to relight the candle of his dead daughter," he whispered. "He was a human man, he had suffered such pain, and he fell prey to a devil." A wry smile crossed his lips. "Like someone else I knew once. The devil used him, hid inside the shell of this man's body, and then attacked."

Rikugo listened to the tale, silent, attentive, noting how Ryu's voice grew fainter as he slipped off into sleep again, and he leaned down to kiss his warm lips as the Count drifted away.

"Sleep," he murmured, brushing through his hair.

In a few more days he would be okay again, until then he was as weak and dependent as anyone. Rikugo planned on staying as long as he was needed -- and wanted.

* * *

It took the building a while to repair itself, pulling energy from Meifu, out of sources Rikugo didn't know where they lay and he wasn't really interested in knowing them. He stayed with his lover when Ryu was awake and helped Watson with the clean-up otherwise. Tsuzuki was a constant visitor, assisting with the damage control. It was on one of those days that they were in the basement, clearing a way through the debris that was even down here, when Rikugo opened the door to the private room.

"Uh, Rikugo, I wouldn't..." Tsuzuki started, then stopped when the doors swung open.

The sight hadn't changed from the last time and he still felt a strange mix of embarrassment, excitement and curiosity, coupled with the sense of something forbidden, something carnal, spread through him. This was the Count's most private room, something that was home to centuries of just that carnal pleasure, coupled with the modern day technology that made such achievements possibly.

Rikugo gazed at the signs of his lover's entertainment, and his face gave nothing away.

"Rikugo...?" he tried. "Errr..."

"I knew about it, Tsuzuki."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Okay... So, you're okay with it?"

The astrologer turned to his master and smiled gently. "Yes, I am. And before you jump to conclusions, Tsuzuki, we never did anything of the like."

He blushed. "I wouldn't..."

Rikugo chuckled. "I could almost feel your imagination running wild, Tsuzuki." He closed the doors. "Let's continue."

And they did. Tsuzuki glanced at the doors one last time, then at his shikigami, taking in the gentle waves in his aura. Yep, there was something there.

* * *

Fiery red eyes looked at the shikigami as Rikugo stood at the foot end of the bed. The Count had healed, but he still showed signs of the abuse his body had gone through. There were healing scars, bruises, his eyes expressed his exhaustion and he had apparently lost weight despite Watson's cooking.

"The palace is almost back to new," Rikugo said, smiling a little.

"I know. I can feel its restoration." A slight shrug. "One of the perks of being bound to this building. None of the candles took harm, right?"

"No. They're all okay."

Rikugo came closer and looked down into those fascinating eyes. Almost as fascinating as Tsuzuki's in their inhuman color and origin, but where Tsuzuki was just half of a demonic origin, this man had fused with one, had become one.

He finally sat down and leaned over his lover, claiming the lips he had missed in a tender kiss. Ryu's hands caressed over his robes, tried to get deeper, and the Count kissed him back almost desperately.

"I need to go," Rikugo murmured against the pliable lips as they parted.

"Right away?" came the breathy question.

"You're still healing, Ryu."

He was pulled closer and the Count nipped at his neck and throat. "Please, Rikugo... Please..."

Rikugo gazed into the red eyes, saw the need and hunger, and he weighed it against the knowledge that Ryu wasn't in any kind of shape for more than an interlude.

He gave in. He gave in to the depth of the hunger, and his own desire to be with this man.

When he left a few hours later, Ryu was curled up on one side, sleeping the sleep of the exhausted, a faint smile on his lips. No injuries had been worsened and the pleasure had outweighed the discomfort.

Rikugo nodded at Watson as he passed the gnome, memories of the naked form arching in ecstasy under his touch accompanying him to GensouKai.

* * *

Rikugo had been kept busy in GensouKai and he had truly concentrated only on his work. Sohryu was a demanding leader and with a new project running Rikugo had more than enough to do. He wanted to go to Meifu, see how Ryu was faring, but he couldn't. He just had to be patient.

So when he could finally disentangle himself from his calculations and the oracles, from developing charts and predictions, leaving the rest of the project in the capable hands of Touda whose task was to enter his equations and whatnot into the main computer, Rikugo just up and left.

He arrived in Meifu, his aura pulled tightly around himself as not to alarm anyone too greatly. He paid his master his respects -- sharing a cup of tea and a donut. Tsuzuki was as bright-eyed and cheerful as always.

"He's fine, Rikugo," he told his shikigami. "I went to see him yesterday and he's fine. The Palace looks okay, too."

Rikugo smiled a little, relieved. "Thank you, Asato."

The answer was another brilliant smile.

He left his master, who gave him an encouraging hug, and made his way to the edge of Meifu.

He was greeted by the only servant of the huge place, the gnome giving him a formal bow.

"Welcome, Rikugo," he said with his gravelly voice. "Please follow me. His lordship is in the winter garden having tea."

Watson guided the astrologer into the winter garden that was looking out into the huge stretch of landscaped garden, with the multitude of groves, fountains and hidden corner.

Ryu's red eyes lit up when he noticed the large blond figure walking in behind his butler. He wasn't wearing the mask, but he was dressed in his normal attire, the black pants, the matching coat, and the crisp, white shirt. There was no mark on his face left from the attack, and his aura felt fine to the shikigami as he approached the man.

"Rikugo! I didn't expect you. Watson, please bring another set for our guest."

Watson bowed. "Yes, my lord."

When Watson had provided Rikugo with a cup of steaming hot green tea and was being dismissed - "That will be all for today, Watson." - Ryu watched his lover sip at it carefully. He observed the man he hadn't expected to see again sitting comfortably in the large chair, the blond strands open, casually dressed in light pants, a shirt with rolled up sleeves and a vest. Black eyes regarded him quizzically over the rims of his glasses and Ryu just smiled. He hadn't expected to see Rikugo today, honestly he hadn't expected to see the man ever again after he had left him the day the Count had been close to fully healed -- but he had sworn to himself that, should he return, he would not regret it.

Rikugo blinked at the intense look he received from the other side of the table, but Ryu just smiled at him and shook his head ever so slightly.

Not now. Now was the time to enjoy their moment together in this quiet place, to just look at the blond shikigami and bathe in the emotions his simple sight evoked.

He wanted this man. His whole body thrummed with the need to touch him, to kiss him, to feel him -- completely.

But for now they talked. Rikugo explained about his latest work and Ryu listened, interested in every aspect of GensouKai, in his lover's life, in his work.

Only when the formal part of their meeting neared an end did Ryu act on his desire. He rose and walked over to his lover, smiling as he took in those fascinating black eyes, framed by the white blond hair that fell loosely over his shoulders where it had escaped the pony tail.

Fingertips were brushing over his neck, causing Rikugo to shiver involuntarily. A hot breath caressed his neck and the tip of his ear, followed by a pair of hot lips and he tilted his head to grant more access before he could even think about it. Ryu slowly walked around the chair and Rikugo looked up into the fiery red eyes of his lover. Had he been a human he would have frozen right now at the almost predatory expression.

Hand resting right and left of his head on the chair the Count leaned over him, forcing Rikugo to lean back. Lips descended on his in a chaste kiss, fingers caressing his face before wandering down south, working on every shirt button. Ryu licked and nipped at every inch of exposed skin, and Rikugo sighed when a warm breeze from outside cooled his skin. He reached up to bury his fingers into his lover's black hair but Ryu gently put them back onto the armrest, shaking his head slightly.

And then Rikugo received the shock of his lifetime.

Fingers had worked themselves down his body and were undoing his pants. That he had expected in a way -- but then his legs were parted.

"Ryu... "

A finger rested on his lips and his lover smiled softly before -- he got down on his knees between his legs!

"Ryu! What...?"

Rikugo clutched the armrests when he was engulfed in wet heat suddenly, head falling back onto the headrest of the large chair, and he couldn't help the moan escaping his throat as the Count slowly, seductively and expertly worked him.

"Ryu..."

"Shhh..."

Rikugo moaned when Ryu bent down on him again -- but then he cried out at the familiar sensation of a finger sliding into his body. Closing his eyes all Rikugo could do was go with the flow and surrender to the pleasure that rushed through his body, It didn't last long until he couldn't take it any more and came with a harsh sob.

Cool fingers caressed his heated skin, guiding him back down from the heights his lover had sent him up to, and Rikugo blinked, looking down on the man who was still kneeling between his legs, gently stroking over his thighs.

"Ryu..." he breathed, still surprised and mildly shocked about the rather passionate seduction.

His lover had never performed something like this on him. Red eyes looked up at him, burning with a fire that wasn't of demonic origin, and the astrologer understood that Ryu had concentrated on his pleasure alone. Not that he complained, but... why? Why now? Before he could ask, the Count rose with a fluid movement, brushing his body against Rikugo's, and brought their lips together, making the astrologer moan with renewed interest as he deepened the kiss.

"Come with me?" he whispered when he broke the kiss, hands caressing his body, eyes holding an unspoken promise and obvious desire.

Rikugo could only nod.

"Rikugo..."

Fiery red eyes burned themselves into his as he was pushed against the wall the moment the bedroom door clicked shut behind them. Hands on his body, everywhere at the same time, almost tearing the clothes off his body.

"Ryu... wait a second... stop!" He caught the roaming hands, effectively stopping their frantic movement. "Not that I don't appreciate this, but what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Isn't that obvious? I want you, Rikugo. Now."

He froze.

'I want you now, Rikugo. I know you want it, too.'

'You know what I'm here for, Rikugo. '

Or just a look from dark blue eyes, telling him exactly what was expected of him...

"Rikugo?"

"No. Ryu, not like this. Let's take our time."

"Time? Time?! You kept me waiting for so long now... I want you, don't you get me?"

He looked into the demonic red eyes of a being that was neither man nor demon; eyes that could blaze in barely contained fury -- yes, he had noticed -- or sparkle with amusement; eyes that spoke of a longer time of loneliness than he could even start to imagine. He had come to love those expressive eyes, love the man, despite the crime that had been caused by an error of judgment. An error he himself wasn't free of, too.

"Yes, I get you," he said softly. "I understand you, Ryu. But I can't do it like this."

"You mean you don't want to."

Rikugo let go of the wrists to slide his hands over the slender body, pulling the man against him, making perfectly clear that he wanted to.

"Of course I want to, Ryu."

The kiss was long, deep and sweet and when it ended they were horizontal.

"Then take me, Rikugo," the Count whispered.

Rikugo took his time -- not that Ryu really needed it, but he wanted to make it good for him. It was music to Rikugo's ears to hear the other man's breathy moans and exclamations of want and need. He loved to see those fiery red eyes cloud with desire, watch Ryu writhe underneath him and loved to hear the sounds he was making when coherence fled him and he was reduced to simply feeling. He had no idea how much experience Ryu really had, but when he prepared him he was as careful as if he were a novice, though Ryu was protesting. And only after he had done that thoroughly he allowed the other man to roll onto his stomach. One leg pulled up Ryu looked at him over a shoulder, and he slowly blanketed the slender body, biting his lower lip as he minutely buried himself into the tight heat. Ryu closed his eyes and hissed, but didn't show any other sign of discomfort. Rikugo waited, stroking the other man's quivering flank. Ryu moaned under him, hips bucking, and Rikugo took this as encouragement to move. Wrapping one arm around his lover's waist, he pulled Ryu close to his body, adjusting the angle until he felt the answering tremor run through the slender body, heard the sharp intake of breath. He pulled his lover's fingers from the pillow he had been clutching, entwining their fingers.

Ryu moaned once more, hips jerking again.

"Rikugo ... now, please ... "

The astrologer didn't need any more encouragement, picking up his speed, listening to every gasp and moan that indicated his lover was getting closer and closer to the point of no return. And only when Ryu hoarsely screamed into the pillow, shaking with the force of his completion Rikugo allowed himself to let go, too.

Slowly coming back from his coital high and still breathing hard Rikugo felt the man he held in his arms tremble. Taking a closer look Rikugo froze in shock. Tears were streaming down the handsome face of the other man, eyes squeezed tightly shut, and his breathing hiccupped with the effort of not sobbing.

"Ryu?"

Stroking over the soft black hair Ryu only shook harder. With a desperate sounding sob the man turned, wrapping himself tightly around Rikugo. Face buried at his shoulder Rikugo felt the wetness stream down his skin.

"Ryu? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No," came the muffled answer, "gods, no."

"Then what's wrong, Ryu? You're scaring me."

There was only a suppressed sobbing sound and Rikugo couldn't do anything but hold his desperate lover close, waiting for the emotional turmoil to settle.

It did settle after some time and Rikugo looked into the finely cut face that he had seen so often already, but he would always delight in seeing it again. Ryu had been born of noble blood and it showed in his bearings, his demeanor, even after such long centuries of imprisonment. He was pale, his skin smooth and unblemished, the hair of a deep black color. Fine eyebrows swung like raven wings over blood red eyes that spoke of the demon hidden underneath the deceptively soft shell of a beautiful human being. No scars, no marks, nothing marred his body; a body that was nicely proportioned, so perfect, so finely toned. All a reminder of the deal Ryu had made millennia ago.

The astrologer ran a gentle caress along the sharply cut cheekbone, down the jaw line, then leaned forward and kissed the other man, feeling the pliable lips open under his gentle assault. Arms wrapped around his waist, drew him closer, molding them together, and he increased his loving attack.

Ryu moaned softly, trembling ever so slightly. Rikugo held them together, held him tightly in his embrace, and whispered, "Sleep."

Red eyes, heavy lidded and so very exhausted, followed the order and closed completely.

"Stay," Ryu whispered a soft plea.

"I will. I promise."

And he would. He wouldn't leave this man alone this time, aware of how vulnerable he was at the moment.

Ryu's body relaxed in his hold and Rikugo just watched him sleep.

* * *

Rikugo knew he had started to smile a lot more now, that he was happier, inside and outside, and the others began to notice. Especially when he stopped evading Byakko and managed a civil conversation with the wind God, instead of drawing back, making excuses, and disappearing out of the younger shikigami's presence.

He was slowly but surely coming to terms with what had happened, and while he still had memories flashing forward, refusing to leave him alone, he now had something else to hold on to.

Thinking of Ryu throughout the days he was doing his job in GensouKai was almost normal now. He thought of his lover, his smiles, his eyes, the soft tenor of the voice, the way he could be both incredibly strong but also vulnerable. He thought about the man he had gotten to know by now, about the man he still wanted to get to know better, about the past of this hurt soul that served an eternal sentence.

About the man he had started to sleep with. He was visiting Meifu on a regular basis now, and not every time he was stopping at his master's place. Tsuzuki had made it clear that it wasn't necessary; that he could visit his lover whenever he wanted to.

And he wanted.

Ryu was a lonely soul and a gentle lover, taking in every caress and soft touch like a dried out flower would take in water.

Two thousand years.

Without any contact except for the occasional visit. An eternity without human touch.

In Rikugo's eyes there was no such thing as an eternal penance. In Rikugo's eyes the penance was the true crime -- but that had happened in his realm, too, hadn't it? Ryu had done nothing truly wrong, just made an error in judgment, and many did that each and every day. There were worse crimes than Ryu's, but Enma-Daiou had warranted the deeds with a life-sentence.

Rikugo mused about what had made this special man in his life survive for so long, and so intact as he was. True, Ryu was fragmented, with shattered parts, with corners of his mind that played with perversion, that had seen horrible things, that had done horrible things in the solitary confinement of the palace, but there was still the core that was intact. Ryu couldn't play the man in need of love, of companionship, and be someone completely else underneath. The Count was the man with the mask, but Ryu was the soul underneath, hoping and maybe still even dreaming.

Sitting over the scrolls, Rikugo scribbled down a few notes when he noticed a powerful aura draw near. There was no mistaking his visitor and when the tall, regal figure of the sky dragon entered the study, Rikugo looked up with a neutral expression. They might not be at each other's throat day by day now, but he still was wary of any occasion that brought Sohryu into his home.

"Sohryu," he greeted the leader of GensouKai, putting enough civility and respect in it not to rile up the man upon his entry.

"Rikugo."

Blue-gray eyes swept around the room, determining they were alone, then Sohryu shut the doors.

"We need to talk."

Onyx eyes glanced over the reading glasses, then Rikugo shrugged inwardly. He wasn't aware of anything that had happened lately.

"Care to explain your regular visits to Meifu?" Sohryu asked coldly.

Rikugo's eyebrows shot down in a steep 'v'. "I don't have to explain anything to you, Sohryu," he answered, voice equally frigid. "This is my private business."

The cold eyes regarded him darkly. "I understand you need distance from what has happened, but don't you think you're taking it a bit far?"

Rikugo glared. "I can come and go to Meifu as I please. Our master has allowed me to enter his world as I see the need for."

"Is it the continuing need for distance from Byakko or the need for a sexual adventure?"

Rikugo felt his breath catch in his throat. Sohryu just smirked.

"There is little that I don't know, Rikugo."

The astrologer snorted in disgust. Right.

"So what is it, Rikugo? Looking for companionship?"

He let the scroll roll shut. "What if I do? What's it to you, Sohryu? Jealous? I doubt it because you already found someone else!"

He rose abruptly, old emotions boiling up again.

"Leave Terazuma out of this!" the dragon snapped.

"Why should I when you bring in my private affairs? Why would you be interested anyway? We are over, Sohryu! You had your chance!"

The dragon frowned and Rikugo inhaled sharply, feeling the emotions rise exponentially.

"You didn't ask about me when you ended us. You didn't care. Why now? Thinking about ditching your shinigami lover? Well, don't come running back to me because I'm not your toy! I'm not to be used, thrown away, and unearthed when you need me!" the blond shikigami yelled.

He pushed past the other man, trying to leave, but then a hand clamped around his arm.

"Rikugo..."

Power gathered, coiled around him, and he glared at the highest of the four Gods, daring him to take the last step.

"You were never a toy for me, Rikugo," Sohryu said softly. "Never."

"Don't lie to me, dragon! You had no emotions, no intentions but a good time, and it was a long time coming that you would let me fall again!" Rikugo snarled.

Blue eyes widened. "Rikugo..."

But the astrologer didn't listen. He just tore out of the grasp and left, emotions erupting in an angry yell that was so completely unlike him. He had forgotten about Sohryu, about what had been fledgling feelings despite the hatred and disgust, but now... now it was coming back. Damn that dragon!

He had never loved the other man. He had never hated him either. It had been a relationship born of need and lust, but Rikugo had felt something come to life, something that wanted more, but it had been quickly smothered.

He had craved love and had gotten a quick fuck from the highest of the four Gods. Great. And he had allowed himself to become... fond of him.

Rikugo gnashed his teeth together.

Those emotions should have died. They should have been buried. There was someone else in his life now and Ryu's feelings were true. The need was not a game, the warm expression in the red eyes without pretense.

Sohryu -- Ryu. Rikugo laughed humorlessly at the irony of his lovers' names.

The Count claimed he was emotionally screwed, but what was Rikugo? He had slept with the man he opposed politically at every turn, the man he disliked immensely, and he had started to feel something softer throughout their encounters.

Great.

Sighing explosively, the blond shikigami stopped and looked around. He hadn't even noticed where he had gone off to. It was the small landscaped garden behind the palace. Finding a bench, he settled his tall frame on it, looking into the small lake that was home to multi-colored Koi fish.

Sohryu had felt the aura flare, had seen the anger in those black eyes, and he knew he had been seconds away from facing Rikugo in a true battle, but the astrologer had reined in his temper -- a temper Sohryu had never thought the other man really had -- and he had left.

The words still echoed in the dragon's mind.

Had Rikugo... felt something for him? And if so, had Sohryu ever felt something in return? Had he ever gone into their encounters with anything but the primal need to satisfy his nether instincts?

Blue eyes grew distant. Yes, maybe. There had been little sparks, but nothing definite. Seeing the lithe form writhe underneath him, hearing the cries of pleasure, the breathy moans, hearing the gasps, hearing his name. He had taken what he had wanted to, but there had been more from time to time. And after meeting Hajime... he had come back a few more times, and each encounter had been gentler than before.

Sohryu closed his eyes and shook his head.

Water under the bridge...

He was faithful to Terazuma. He loved the shinigami and wouldn't stray, and he doubted Rikugo would ever allow Sohryu to touch him again that way. He had made that clear already, a while ago, and Sohryu didn't feel the need to come back here.

But to know that Rikugo had developed fledgling feelings... to think of what could have been.

It never would have worked, he thought. They were at their best when fighting each other, when lashing out...

Only... only when he remembered catching Rikugo as he collapsed after keeping Touda alive for so long... looking at the fragile and vulnerable form of the so strong shikigami, hearing his harsh breaths, seeing him wince in pain when Taimo touched him...

Confess it, Sohryu thought darkly, there could have been more if you hadn't found the one you love, if Hajime hadn't come to GensouKai.

But not now. Now he had struck out again, had landed another blow, and all he had wanted to know was if there was a kernel of truth to the rumors flying around GensouKai. Rikugo must have found someone in Meifu, but so far no one had seen anyone with their resident astrologer here in GensouKai. So he only visited, he never brought anyone with him.

Sohryu rubbed his slightly aching head. If the person in question was a shinigami, maybe he could ask Tsuzuki the next time the young man came here for his visits. Or he could carefully set Touda onto it.

He pushed that thought away.

No, leave it as it was. He had already made a small mess; making it bigger wasn't in his plans. He would wait and see.

Patience.

It would be the best advice right now.

* * *

Rikugo was in a good mood as he walked along the long path leading to the palace, smiling in anticipation of seeing his lover. A week without seeing Ryu had gone by and he had hoped to have a break in his work -- work that Sohryu had piled on him -- and it had finally come.

There was a familiar presence announcing its nearness and Rikugo was surprised to see his master sitting on the wide steps leading to the entrance of the Palace of Candles. Tsuzuki was dressed in his usual black outfit, including the long coat, and just as always the tie was askew. He smiled a welcome at his master.

"Tsuzuki."

"Hey, Rikugo," was the calm reply.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

That sounded... serious. "Is something wrong?"

Violet eyes regarded him for a long time before Tsuzuki asked, "How long do you plan on going on like this?"

"W-what?"

"You've been coming and going like this for months now, Rikugo. You spend time at the palace, you go. You leave him every time and he has no idea if you ever return, or if it was the last time."

Rikugo froze, staring at the young shinigami so calmly sitting on the stairs. "Tsuzuki...?"

"Do you love him?"

"What?!"

There was no humor in those violet eyes, just the question, and Rikugo knew his master was quite serious with what he wanted to know.

"You heard me. Do you love him or is this just a coping method?"

He felt like punched in the gut. "No!" He would never use anyone like this!

Tsuzuki still stared hard at him. "So... what do you feel? Is he a temporary relief? Because if he is, leave, Rikugo."

The astrologer felt defensiveness flare. "What is my private life to you?" he demanded, well aware that a master could actually demand even that from him.

"I know I never interfered with any of my shikigami's lives, but this concerns me, too, Rikugo. You're hurting someone who had enough pain in his life."

"Don't you think I know that?" he almost yelled.

Tsuzuki rose, facing him on a more equal eye level. "Then if you care... why do you leave him in the dark about your feelings? He has feelings, emotions... he loves and he hurts. I think it's time to stop the pain and give him the happiness he can't believe in."

"Tsuzuki..."

"If you can't admit to feeling something in return, leave, Rikugo. Now! Each time you come here, you give him a shard of hope, and then you push him back again."

"Tsuzuki..."

"He deserves happiness!" Tsuzuki stated, anger flaring a little. "And if you can't admit to your own feelings, if you can't tell him, then you shouldn't come back! You're using him!"

Rikugo felt his breath catch in his throat at the last words.

You're using him.

Yes... yes, he was. All he did was come here to have a good time, to have sex. He left again and Ryu had to stay behind. What would it feel like if their roles were reversed? What if he was dependent on his lover's decisions to come to him. Ryu couldn't call, couldn't visit, could only sit and wait for Rikugo's pleasure...

Oh Gods...

No...

Rikugo felt a tremor run through his body.

No!

He wasn't any better than Sohryu... The dragon had come for sex, and for sex only. There had never been any softer emotions. Just need and almost primal lust. Rikugo had taken what Sohryu had given him, and he had been left empty and yearning and strangely hurt.

Now he was doing the same to the Count.

"No..." he whispered. "I don't want this..."

"What do you want?" Tsuzuki asked softly. "What do you feel for him?"

"I... I don't know..."

Onyx eyes looked pleadingly at violet ones.

"Then maybe you should think before you hurt him again by leaving. He expects nothing but he feels a lot, Rikugo. I know you have feelings, too. Get them sorted out. You two really need to talk before it gets out of hand."

"Tsuzuki..."

Tsuzuki smiled warmly. "I know you'll make the right decision."

*

He watched them. He watched Tsuzuki, waiting for Rikugo, talking to his shikigami. And he watched Rikugo, the facial expressions, the gestures. He saw the shock, the horror, the realization. And he felt his heart freeze, his soul crack even more. Rikugo walked past his master and Tsuzuki remained on the steps, his expression hopeful, but Ryu didn't see him any more. He only saw the tall blond shikigami as he walked into the palace.

So today was the day.

His hands clenched into fists, trying to contain the emotions rising inside him.

He whirled around on his heels, shaking with what he felt.

Rikugo had finally drawn the line, had put an end to it.

No more time together, no more kisses and touches, no more quiet conversations, laughter, shared meals, or just sitting in front of the fire, snuggled together.

His dream... it had died faster than he had expected it.

Expected... expectations... he had truly had them?

Fool! he raged silently. You fool!

He raked a hand through his hair, feeling the tremors increase.

There was a reason why he wore the mask, why he was invisible. There was a reason why he hid. Enma had forced this mask on him, but he had soon found that it only helped in his daily life.

No one came close.

No one knew him.

No one... until Rikugo.

The shikigami had passed all his carefully crafted walls. Ryu had always kept his distance -- while openly pursuing Tsuzuki. He knew it was safe to do so, even though he longed for the younger man to touch him, to see those smiles, feel the gentle aura lapping against his.

He had been... safe.

And Rikugo, with his persistence and stubbornness, had destroyed it all, had made him feel again, had opened him up to these positive emotions and to the pain. And it had felt so good, so wonderful.

Ryu felt his emotions bubble more and he gave a half-sob, half-laugh.

I set myself up, knowing it all, and I let him do this to me.

Fool.

Happiness is for other people...

*

"There you are," Rikugo called, smiling.

The smile dropped when he looked at the Count, the man wearing his mask, not Ryu, the man he called his lover.

"I didn't expect you to come in," the Count said formally.

Distance.

What had happened? Rikugo frowned.

"Ryu?"

"Actually, I didn't expect you for a while, maybe at all any more."

What?!

"What's going on, Ryu? What's wrong?"

A cold chuckle. "Wrong? Nothing is wrong. I finally have come to accept the truth, Rikugo. About me, about you, about everyone. I thought I had sooner, but there was still hope. Can you believe that? After two thousand years there was still hope!"

Rikugo felt his shock mount, his worry increase. "Ryu, take off the mask, please?"

Gloved hands reached for the ancient piece and more or less ripped it off. He flung it away, the half mask bouncing over the rugs and sliding into a corner.

"Better?" Ryu asked, voice like acid. "Come to take a look one last time? I'm making it easy on you, Rikugo. You don't even have to give me an explanation. Just tell me, out of a formality, then leave my palace!"

"What? Ryu, I don't understand..."

"Don't play with me, shikigami! At least give me the honor of the truth! At least treat me like a human being once!"

"Ryu!" Rikugo cried, confusion taking over. "What are you talking about?"

A slightly mad sheen touched the blood red eyes. "You, me... the games we've been playing. The games everyone plays with me! I'm a tool, I know that. For Enma-Daiou. To be used and discarded, to be brought out again when needed. I just never thought... I never thought you would take the same way!"

"I didn't use you!" Rikugo whispered, aghast.

"Then what do you call what we have? I'm stuck here, Rikugo! I'm dependent on your whims! You come here, you fuck me, you leave!"

Rikugo winced at the crude words. "No..."

"Yes! Like everyone else you just used me! I've been waiting for you to grow tired and I think the time has come. You've had all there is to be had. There is nothing left I can give you!"

"Ryu, no..."

"What am I anyway?" the Count cried. "I'm a prisoner, a criminal! Forever trapped in this forsaken place, in this private hell! I'm damaged beyond repair, my soul is already shattered into so many fragments that I can't even feel any more. My mind has run into so much madness before. I've experienced insanity and found it too sobering to be my companion!" He spread his arms wide. "I'm broken, Rikugo! A broken toy that loses its use and appeal after a few pity fucks! I was a novelty for you for sure. I was a way for you to handle your problems and now it's over!"

Rikugo shook under the words, mind blank, horror setting in. "Ryu, no. That's not true!"

"Stop lying to me! Stop lying to yourself. I cannot love because I cannot be happy! I was deceiving myself! I was deceiving you! Go away!" he yelled.

"Ryu..."

"I said leave!"

Rikugo stared at the man that had once been Ryu and now resembled a complete stranger.

"Leave..." the Count snarled, eyes flaring.

And he did. He turned and left, like in a trance, unable to comprehend.

Energy churned inside him, an energy he had only recently felt bubble to the surface when he had fought off the intruder. An energy that was usually contained by a seal. The seal was still there, but it had suffered from the last time. Now it shuddered under the energy assaulting it.

Ryu stalked into his private room, but the moment he entered, the image of him and Rikugo together entered as well.

With an enraged yell he grabbed the closest object -- a statue depicting two men doing the obvious-- and flung it at the opposite wall. It shattered into a thousand pieces -- like his soul had just now.

"Why?" he yelled at the room. "Why did I let him do this to me? I never wanted to feel like this ever again! Never!"

A large book of 1001 ways to enjoy sexual pleasures with your male lover was grabbed and then another, turning into flying objects, amidst the shards already staining the floor.

"I had to love him! I had to start feeling like a human being again!" Ryu cried and another small statue died a quick death. "I'm not human! I will never be human again!"

And then energy lanced forward, spiking, released from his hands and blasting the wall.

It was the first of many walls to start crumbling as shelves disintegrated, as toys and the likes met their maker, so to speak, and the collection of porn every porn lover would kill to get their hands on was blown to smithereens.

He didn't stop there.

It was only the beginning.

* * *

He was watching with a half amused, half grim expression. Things had been developing in leaps and not all to his satisfaction, but he let them be -- for now.

As he noticed the spiking energy from the Palace of Candles, Enma-Daiou decided to let the scene play out. The Count normally couldn't attack anyone, let alone Enma himself, with his demonic powers because the Lord of Hades had put a seal on them that only he could break. Through the devil attack on the Palace though, the powers had become unleashes and now, under the strain of the breaking mind and shattered soul, those powers were leaking through. Still not aggressive to the outside, but very destructive against everything on the inside.

Ryu was trying to destroy himself. Enma wouldn't let him, but he was curious as to how far his prisoner would get. He knew exactly how strong the former human was, and it was a strength rivaling Tsuzuki's, but it wasn't the same as the shinigami's.

So Enma watched.

And he waited.

He knew there was something else to come; something interesting.

* * *

Rikugo was confused, and that was a mild word for his current condition. Like in a trance he had left the Palace grounds, had walked down the unmarked path until he had found himself somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Changing into his dragon form had been almost automatic and just the same automatism had taken him to the spot where Tsuzuki had found him so long ago, the spot where he had hidden from the world -- pick one; anyone.

But unlike the last time it didn't give him the distance to think clearly. Last time he had gone through his thoughts, had analyzed his emotions, but this time whatever he tried, he couldn't understand what had happened.

Ryu had... pushed him away. He had accused him of using him, of... seeing only a toy to satisfy needs once in a while.

A sick feeling spread through him as he thought of the encounters with Sohryu. The dragon had been what Ryu had accused him of being -- only interested in a quick lay, in his primal pleasures, with no tenderness, with no deeper emotions.

"I'm not like that," he whispered desperately.

He hadn't gone to the Palace just for that. He enjoyed the Count's company, his warmth, his gentle voice. He also loved the temper, the spark in that agile mind that had him on his toes in their analysis of a chosen book, a discussion about a topic they were differing about, and so many things. Yes, he loved what he saw when they were both in bed. He loved it very much, enjoyed touching that very responsive body, but he loved the spirit the same way.

"Ryu, why?" he murmured. "I never treated you like this, did I? What made you think I would use you like that? Throw you away?"

Red eyes gazed into the perfectly blue sky, seeking answers he couldn't find.

In the end he returned to the only place he could, unless he wanted to teleport to GensouKai, which he didn't. Tsuzuki was home, thank the Gods, though he had a guest. Rikugo felt something shiver through him as he looked at Hisoka, who was curled up on the couch, looking comfortable and very much relaxed, and he turned. He couldn't stay and interrupt the few private moments his master could share between assignments.

"Rikugo, wait!" Tsuzuki called, making a grab for his arm. "What...? You can come in!"

He summoned a smile and shook his head. "No. I apologize for interrupting you, Tsuzuki. I'm taking my leave for now."

"Rikugo!"

The voice had hardened, had become more demanding, and he froze instinctively, his body and mind following that unheard order.

"Rikugo, what's wrong? I thought you were staying at Ryu's place...?"

"No, I'm returning."

"Already?" Those violet eyes held an expression that told Rikugo Tsuzuki wasn't buying any kind of lies.

"Yes."

"What happened?"

He tensed. "Tsuzuki..."

A warm hand touched his back and he balled his hands into fists.

"What happened?" Tsuzuki repeated, voice soft and empathic.

"You have a guest, Tsuzuki," Rikugo tried.

"I can feel it from here," a new voice made him flinch and Hisoka joined his partner, scowling at the tall shikigami. "And it's not good."

"Master..." Rikugo tried again, then almost stepped back under the violet glare.

"Now I know it's even worse," the shinigami muttered and grabbed the astrologer's arm, forcing him to follow the smaller man, lest he would hurt his master. "Sit!"

He did, evading the knowing eyes.

"The last time I saw you you went into the Palace," he heard his master say. "Now you're here, and considering it's been just a few hours... something happened in that time and it's not good, right?"

Rikugo tried to calm his racing thoughts, the words flung at him by Ryu echoing in his mind.

"Rikugo...?"

There it was again. The gentle voice, the soft inquiry, and the shikigami had to look up; it was an almost compelling force. Tsuzuki crouched before him, enveloping his hands in his own.

"I don't need to have Hisoka's powers to know that something's tearing you up inside. What happened?"

"Ryu... threw me out."

And Tsuzuki gaped. "He... what?"

"I don't know what happened. I just... came in, found him upstairs... and he was wearing the mask. He was the Count again, not the man I had come to know. He said..."

Rikugo stopped, too pained still over the words.

"He said I used him," he finally whispered. "He said I only saw an entertainment in him. Gods, Tsuzuki, I would never... I never did... Never!"

He was pulled into a firm embrace. "I know."

"And you left him in that state?" Hisoka's voice suddenly interrupted the tender moment.

Rikugo was fully aware that, for a Divine Commander and one of the twelve most powerful shikigami he was currently not very divine in appearance, looked into a pair of blazing green eyes.

"You left him in that agony? Alone?"

"I... he told me to leave... My presence alone was setting him off..."

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked.

The empath almost growled. "I can feel the emotions and I know it was bad. It's giving me a damn headache! If it was this much to create such havoc with your own emotions, think of what he feels like, Rikugo!"

The astrologer blanched. "No..."

"Yes!"

Tsuzuki rose abruptly, pulling the blond with him. "We're going."

"W-where?" Rikugo stammered.

"The Palace of Candles. I don't know what happened exactly, but Hisoka's right. We can't leave Ryu alone."

He stopped outside and looked up into the wide, onyx eyes.

"Change. We're flying."

"Huh?"

Very intelligent, Rikugo, he told himself.

"Change, Rikugo. It's the fastest way."

Of course it was.

The huge dragon waited as his master jumped onto his back, then looked at the other shinigami. Hisoka just shook his head.

"You go. I doubt the Count wants someone else there. Tell me later." He gave Tsuzuki a little, warm smile, which was returned.

Rikugo spread his wings and pushed off from the ground, then was airborne.

* * *

The flight was short and the speed was incredible. Tsuzuki hung onto a few strands of the mane of his dragon shikigami, trusting in Rikugo not to run into something, or crash-land. The earth dragon landed with grace despite the sudden descent that would have given any living being a heart attack, and the shinigami slipped off immediately.

Wide-eyed, he looked at the obvious signs of destruction already visible from the outside.

"Oh no..."

He ran up the stairs to the palace and through the wide open door that looked like something had blown them out of their hinges -- from the inside. It smelled of smoke, of a fire that had been put out but was still smoldering, and there was a distinct crackle of static in the air. He nearly stumbled over Watson. The gnome looked at him out of one wide eye, wringing his hands.

"What happened?" Tsuzuki demanded.

"He... well, his lordship has... lost control."

"What?!"

"It's actually not the first time, but it was never this bad. I fear for him."

Enma's name...

"Where is he?"

"I think he's upstairs, but I wouldn't got there, Sir. He's quite unpredictable and this time his powers broke through, too."

Rikugo was as white as a sheet and he overtook Tsuzuki as they headed upstairs.

There was a clear discharge of energy not far away and Tsuzuki felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck. All around him there was nothing but destruction. No picture had remained undamaged, all mirrors were broken, the walls were blasted, scorched, partially crumbling, and what there had been in the form of carpeting had long since been burned or molten.

He stopped as he walked into what had been a banquet room once. Now it looked like a demolition site. In the middle of the field of destruction was a well-known figure.

"Enma's name..." he whispered, aghast at the Count's appearance.

Gone was the formal wear, the suit and the tie. There was a man in ripped pants, stained with blood and dust and whatnot. The white shirt was torn in too many places to count. His hands looked like claws, power collecting in their open grasp. Red eyes burned with the inner fire of the demon now free and waging a war on the building. Ryu bared his fangs and growled softly.

"Ryu..." Rikugo groaned in disbelief. "No..."

"Leave!" the demon whispered harshly, power thrumming.

"I'm here to help..!"

"I said leave!"

Tsuzuki was just fast enough to dodge the lance of energy homing in on him.

"Ryu!" Rikugo yelled, aghast.

"I told you once, I'm telling you again now: leave! You have no place! I will not be used!"

And he attacked again, still keeping his distance, simply driving the shikigami back.

Tsuzuki's own power churned, awakening as he evaded the new attack, reacting to the demonic kin so close. But he wouldn't use it to hurt this man; something had broken inside him.

The Count snarled and collided with Rikugo, pushing the startled and too shocked shikigami away, then going right for Tsuzuki.

There was a flash of movement and Ryu was upon him. Tsuzuki cried out more in surprise than pain when he was thrown on his back, debris crunching underneath him. The Count was straddling him, hands clawing into his shoulders, snarling softly.

"Ryu, stop, please!" Tsuzuki begged.

"I'll stop it, once and for all," the Count whispered harshly. "I was such a fool. I thought I could feel again, but I'm nothing but a tool for each and every one! For Enma, for Rikugo... they all just use me! I should have known!"

It was almost a wail.

"Rikugo loves you!" Tsuzuki tried.

The blond shikigami was picking himself up, shaking. His eyes were open, all of them, and there was an expression in them that Tsuzuki didn't like.

Hell, the whole situation was bad! And it was getting worse by the minute because now Rikugo found himself between a rock and a hard place. His lover was fighting his master, and the shikigami's loyalties were clear.

"Rikugo, don't hurt him!" Tsuzuki yelled.

Dark laughter answered his plea. "Why not? You think he would mind? No one can love a thing like me."

Blood red eyes flared, looking at the astrologer.

"I was a fool to believe you, shikigami. I was a fool to believe in fate, in luck... in love."

Tsuzuki felt cold horror settle in.

"I'm nothing, Tsuzuki," Ryu whispered. "I exist without existing. My name has been erased from the books, I'm trapped in this cursed place, and I will forever serve this sentence. No pardon, no chance to love, to live, to be happy. I'm nothing at all!"

The hands dug painfully into his shoulders, but Tsuzuki ignored the pain. "That's wrong. You're Ryu. You love Rikugo and Rikugo loves you back."

"Lie!"

Power congealed around them and Tsuzuki gasped. He saw Rikugo move, power sparking around his shikigami as he followed his instinct to protect his master, and Tsuzuki knew he had to act. A blast of darkness struck the Count, pushing him off just as he was about to plunge a strike into his victim. The demon snarled in rage and hissed, then sprung at him. Tsuzuki evaded, desperately trying not to use more of his powers, but Ryu was fast and powerful, and very, very pissed off.

Something scorched his thigh and he cried out, crashing to the ground.

"Tsuzuki!" Rikugo cried and Tsuzuki felt the summons of his shikigami's power, the ability to freeze time -- and do much worse.

"Don't hurt him!" he screamed the order. "Rikugo!"

There was a rip in the very fabric of this realm. Tsuzuki felt the breath freeze in his lungs as out of nowhere a figure appeared, a figure he had only once seen completely. Dressed in elaborate robes, the serene face without emotions, the dark eyes cold, Enma-Daiou strode toward his servant and faced the demon.

Ryu was stunned for a moment, then screamed his fury and powers gathered around him like a storm, hurtling at the Lord of Hades.

Enma looked calmly at the attacker, then raised one arm, palm outward, and from one second to another the power dissipated, the storm quieted, and Ryu collapsed like a puppet where the strings had been cut. Enma walked over to the motionless figure, pity and something hard to describe on his ethereal face. When he looked at Tsuzuki, the shinigami felt an old anger rise, but he squelched it.

"What did you do to him?" he demanded.

"Nothing. He'll be fine when he wakes," was the calm answer.

Two pairs of likewise inhuman eyes met and Tsuzuki felt himself bristle. Enma smiled briefly, a smile that was so calculating, so full of knowledge and manipulation, Tsuzuki felt like throwing up.

Then those eternal eyes fell on Rikugo, who had frozen in shock, drawn between being with his injured master and going to his lover. Enma smiled more and then, with another shift of energy, he was gone.

Tsuzuki stumbled to his feet, covered in dust, feeling his leg protest the movements, and he waved off Rikugo's help.

"Go to him," he coughed.

And Rikugo did, with his shinigami in tow.

Ryu was out cold, but alive. Well, as alive as beings like them could be. Rikugo knelt next to him and pushed back some of the black strands, feeling the dried blood flake off.

"Gods, Ryu... why?" he whispered. "What happened?"

"He lost it," Tsuzuki answered softly.

He didn't know the depth of what had happened between the two men, but he understood that it had touched something so deep, Ryu had lost himself in his rage and pain, and he had attacked whatever had opposed him.

The onyx eyes glistened suspiciously. "Ryu..."

"We need to get him to an undamaged room, if there is such a thing.".

"There is," a gravelly voice answered and Watson bowed a little as three pairs of eyes turned to look at him. "Let me show you the way."

Rikugo had little effort lifting the lithe form and he followed the gnome.

Watson led them to a room at the far end of one wing that was truly undamaged and Rikugo placed his precious cargo onto the white linen. His second eyes opened and he scanned, concern etching lines into his face.

"What happened to you, Ryu?" he whispered, caressing the stained and bloody face.

Healing energy gathered and he pressed one hand lightly against the ripped shirt. Tsuzuki was perfectly aware of what was happening and he quietly waited. He felt a touch from Touda through the bond, checking him since the serpent had felt the powers flare.

//A few bruises, that's all. Already healed// Tsuzuki reassured him.

//He got you in the leg//

And demon injuries took a bit longer to heal.

//It's okay//

He had no qualms and wouldn't hold it against Ryu. Something had cracked under the pressure, had given in, and Tsuzuki knew how powerful such emotions were. He had experienced despair so deep it overrode everything else, too.

Touda wrapped himself more tightly around the soul he was bound to and Tsuzuki smiled, complete in his trust of the shikigami who could strike him down with one thought should he ever want to.

Rikugo sat back with a soft exhalation of air, almost a sigh. He closed the red, inhuman eyes and one hand reached for the lax one of his lover.

"Rikugo?" Tsuzuki asked carefully.

"It'll take time," the astrologer answered, tiredly looking at his master. "If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here, Tsuzuki."

The shinigami smiled warmly. "You're needed here."

It was settled like this. Rikugo had asked his master's agreement and Tsuzuki had given it.

"The others have arrived," Watson startled him and he turned to the servant.

"What?"

//With all the energy discharges coming from this place, something or someone had to pick it up// Touda remarked dryly.

Tsuzuki nodded slowly, glancing around the ruined palace. "I'll meet them outside. Rikugo..."

"I'll take care of Ryu."

Another nod, then Tsuzuki walked downstairs to intercept whoever had arrived.

* * *

The palace had taken another round of rather extensive damage, this time inflicted by Ryu himself. He had targeted specific areas, though. Tsuzuki stood in the debris-littered basement area that had held the Count's private collection once. Now it was a burned, torn down and utterly destroyed section of the palace, nothing more. Just like the study, the library, and many other rooms that could be seen as Ryu's personal places.

//He struck out at what he hated most// Touda murmured, still very much present in Tsuzuki's mind and soul.

The serpent was keeping an eye on things and Tsuzuki was glad for the company. No one else had been allowed to enter the damaged building, not even Hisoka who didn't know a thing about what lay underneath so many protective layers.

//Yes// Tsuzuki replied sadly.

Ryu was sleeping and Rikugo wasn't swayed from his side, using healing energy and his simple presence to calm the upset mind that was very much aware of outsiders in the palace.

Rikugo had explained it to Tsuzuki throughout the first hours when the two men, master and shikigami, had sat with their patient.

"The Palace and Ryu are bound together," the astrologer had said softly. "He is the master of the building, he knows every corner, every stone, every little niche. And the building is of magical proportions, aware in a degree, aware of its master, and they function together. It repairs itself when damaged, taking its likeness from its master's mind. Ryu's mind furnishes each room, creates what you see. The Palace just does what he wants it to look like."

It explained why the many repaired rooms were so empty. There was no color to the walls; just plain white. The windows had window panes, but no curtains. There wasn't a single piece of furniture or decorative elements. Watson wasn't worried about it at all, so Tsuzuki tried to ignore the strange rooms.

* * *

It took a while for Ryu to recover, but he did. The Palace began to repair itself with increasing speed and things healed. He kept to himself, speaking little, and while Rikugo was there, in the Palace, he tried not to be so needy. But he was. He wanted his lover close, he needed the warmth and tenderness, but the memories of what had occurred wouldn't let go.

So he pushed him away.

It hurt so much to do so.

Ryu tried to lose himself in that void of nothingness that had served him so well for two thousand years.

Never feel on the inside. Only show them a façade.

He laughed brokenly.

To hell with the façade!

He had lost it.

Completely.

The demonic power he had 'inherited' from the sadistic creature that had made him into who he was today -- what he was -- had broken through. Ryu knew there was a small shred of sanity still inside him that kept him from totally giving in, because if he ever did... he knew that there would be no going back.

Except with Enma-Daiou's intervention.

And like right on time, Enma had once again stepped in and stopped him before it could have gotten really ugly. For a few decades the Lord of Meifu hadn't had to do that; Ryu had been in control of his facilities. But now... faced with the loss of his lover, of someone he had grown so attached to...

Ryu sighed deeply and gazed at the mask he held in his hands. His stomach churned and he wrapped his free arm around it, almost protectively.

This was him. No one else. This was his life and his identity.

No!

The voice yelled at him from somewhere deep inside and he actually flinched at its anger.

No, he wasn't just Enma's toy anymore. To be used... to be controlled.

He was Ryu. Rikugo was his lover. His partner... he was his... his alone...

He inhaled sharply at the thought.

And I'm a monster. I'm a demon, a creature from Hell. Pure-bred despite the way I look. I'm the enemy.

Red eyes looked at the Palace, knew that the astrologer was there. He could pinpoint his location exactly. And he was staying. Because of him.

Something inside Ryu whimpered in need.

And I love a shikigami...

He fought the tears and bit down on his conflicting emotions, on his own loss and the positive emotions that wanted to swamp him.

* * *

Tsuzuki hesitantly walked into the Palace, taking the open doors as a good sign. It meant the Count wanted him here, or at least tolerated him. As usual, the place was overwhelmingly large and Tsuzuki felt the presence of the millions upon millions of candles, felt their life, their aura, and he knew that if he strayed from the main rooms he might just end in another nightmarish vision brought on by his own soul.

He shook himself.

Ryu was, like not otherwise expected, around the back, sitting in the winter garden.

Wearing the mask.

"Ryu?" Tsuzuki queried softly.

The mask turned, the half-face looking at him, and the gloved hands made a little inviting gesture.

"Hello, Tsuzuki. May I offer some tea?"

He gazed at the invisible man, fighting his initial reaction to yell at him to take the mask off. Instead he sank onto the other chair and nodded.

"Sure."

As if on cue, Watson served a cup. It was as usual one very delicately crafted piece of China, looking expensive, one of a kind, and so very fitting to the place here. Tsuzuki sipped at the green tea with its slight flavor of apples, looking at the Count.

"What brings you here?" the master of the Palace asked.

"You."

That got him a moment of silence and despite being unable to truly see the man, Tsuzuki knew those red eyes were widening a little.

"I'm flattered," the Count said, voice a little strained.

"I just wanted to see how you are."

"Fine."

Miserable, Tsuzuki translated, setting the cup down.

"Ryu?"

It drew a flinch.

"Could you... take off the mask?"

"Why?"

Tsuzuki smiled slightly. "Because I'd like to look you in the eyes."

"You are."

"Ryu... please?"

He knew he had power over the man. Frightening as it was, the emotions Ryu held for him had never really lessened, though their intent was different. The man was protective and he was needy. Tsuzuki felt bad for playing with that particular feeling, but he had to make sure Ryu was okay.

A gloved hand rose shakily, cupping the mask and pulling it slowly off. Tsuzuki looked at the man underneath the shield, met the blood red eyes, and he smiled.

"Thank you."

"Now what do you want?" Ryu asked tonelessly, placing the ancient mask onto the table. His hands were still shaking slightly.

"What happened wasn't your fault. I just wanted you to know."

Ryu looked away. "It was my fault, Tsuzuki. I lost it over the prospect of never seeing Rikugo again. What does that tell you?"

"You're in love."

The simple answer had the other's head come up sharp. "W-what?"

"You love him. And Rikugo loves you. It's that simple. You misinterpreted something and you reacted from under stress. I know that, Ryu. I did so before. I was ready to kill myself because my emotions overpowered me."

A shudder ran through the lithe frame and Ryu's face became slightly paler. Tsuzuki rose and walked around the table, then crouch down beside the older man.

"Ryu... I don't blame you for what happened. Because I know the intensity of emotions. And it shows that Rikugo is good for you. You love him."

Gloved hands balled into fists. Tsuzuki placed a hand over them.

"Rikugo... he went through a lot and he found what he needed to go on in you."

A harsh laugh escaped the pale lips. "No, Tsuzuki. I'm not what he needs. I'm..."

"You are the man he loves. Everything else is not important. It wasn't to Rikugo and I bet he Saw a lot before you were even aware of it."

That drew another tremor.

"I've known him for close to sixty years, Ryu. He's... he's been there for me, gave me safety and love, and I know what it feels like to be around him. You feel it and you let your guards down, but he won't take advantage of it. Never. Let him stay there... in you."

Red eyes met amethyst, two demonic forces gazing at each other. "You're different, Tsuzuki," Ryu finally said. "You're his master. I'm... I'm not sure what I am. I lost it over something like this and... I hurt you. I'd never do that. Never... At least I thought so until the demon took control and I woke up to the knowledge that I nearly killed you."

Tsuzuki's hands tightened over the Count's. "You didn't kill me. You just grazed me, Ryu. Nothing more. Like I said, I understand these rampaging emotions. I understand despair. I've been there and no one was able to pull me back... until Hisoka."

"I doubt having Enma-Daiou knock you out compares," was the soft whisper.

The shinigami cupped one pale, too cold cheek. "No, it doesn't. But there is someone who wants to be there for you, too. Let him."

Ryu swallowed heavily.

"Don't push him away because you will regret it. Please?"

"Asato..."

Tsuzuki smiled softly. "I want you to be happy, Ryu. You deserve it."

"I always hurt the ones I love..." was the whispered reply.

"No, you don't. You never hurt Rikugo. You never hurt me..." Tsuzuki gave the red eyes a smile. "It only smarted a little and that doesn't count, Ryu. You don't hurt anyone by loving them. You only hurt them by... turning away. By refusing them."

"I hurt a great many people, Tsuzuki. Because I was selfish. I robbed them of love and life-energy and in the end their lives..."

The slender man, so much older than Tsuzuki, so much more damaged and jaded, began to tremble for real now. Tsuzuki didn't hesitate. He gathered him into his arms, felt the warmth emitting from the living, breathing soul, and he listened to the broken moan that turned into a quiet whimper of despair.

He listened to the stumbling words that detailed the past of a man he was only now truly getting to know, and his heart ached for him. Ryu was clutching at his clothes, hanging on as if for dear life, and he let him. He let him ride it out and Tsuzuki knew he would do everything in his power to make him happy. He so much deserved it.

* * *

A storm had brewed over night. It had started as an autumn wind, moving the trees, bending them to its will, and while it was never really any season in Meifu, there were changes in weather. It could rain, there was sunshine, there were cold spells, and there were the occasional storms.

By the evening the winds had become this storm that was nipping at the leaves, the flowers, that was sending sprays of water out of the fountains' pools and onto the grass. It was a storm that rattled at the windows and that brought with it rain.

They lay in each other's arms, listening to the ever-growing howls, to the creaks in the palace's structure that was in no way compromised by this force of nature. It had weathered worse and come out intact.

Ryu let a hand wander over the smooth skin he met underneath Rikugo's shirt, his eyes half closed, his head resting on the firm chest. He listened to his lover's breaths, his heart beat, and he simply enjoyed the closeness. Rikugo in turn caressed his hair, his back, drew little patterns on his skin.

The shikigami had come with the storm, arriving just seconds before the first fat drops had splattered onto the ground, soon soaking the land. Ryu had just let him in, gazing at the blond, soaking up his sight like the ground outside was soaking up the water. There had been few words, just a little fluctuation in the calm, serene aura and then the touch. Ryu had closed his eyes as those soft finger tips had graced along his skin.

Things had swiftly proceeded from there, but not into a whirlpool of lust. No, it had been... gentle. Loving. Warm.

And outside the storm's intensity increased, howling furiously as the two men had curled up together, Rikugo caressing and stroking him in a soothing pattern, his aura enveloping them both.

Ryu felt safe and protected.

It had been two days now since the breakdown and he still remembered little of it. There was only the pain and the rage and the endless darkness. He had never felt like this before, so completely lost, at the brink of an insanity that would never let him go should he fall victim to it. He had stumbled, he had tethered at this edge, and he had lashed out at every helping hand.

For a brief moment he had wondered if it wasn't better to sink into the swamp of madness instead of living a life of eternal loneliness.

"Ryu?" Rikugo murmured, tugging slightly at his hair and he looked at him.

"I'm okay," he murmured.

Well, he wasn't. He had lost it. He had lost it over the prospect of never seeing this man again, of being alone, of having no one, of going back to the anonymity of the mask he was forced to wear in the presence of others.

"Ryu," the shikigami admonished softly and turned them so he was leaning over the prone man while the storm grew more intense.

Red eyes met onyx ones and Ryu swallowed hard at the intense expression there.

"I couldn't stand it," he whispered, his voice sounding as broken as it had been when Tsuzuki had held him.

Two thousand years old... and he had collapsed into the arms of the one being who had kept him alive in the last seven decades. Enma's name, he was so... pitiful.

"I couldn't stand losing you... another one... the only one who I ever let so close," he stammered.

"Ryu, it was my fault. I apologize for treating you this way," Rikugo whispered.

"No, please..."

He silenced him, putting a finger on the soft lips. "Let me, please? I was a fool to believe that I could just turn around and walk away from what this means to me. I was a fool to think you might not feel anything in return. And I was cold-hearted bastard, treating you as I did."

"W-what?"

"I was afraid, Ryu," Rikugo whispered, looking down on him with such misery. "I was afraid to face what I had started to feel for you because of my past. And I began to treat you in a way that I had sworn no one would ever be treated by me. I experienced it first hand and it broke me; and then I went and did it with you."

Ryu gazed at his lover in confusion. Rikugo had...? He knew the shikigami was no virgin, that there must have been past lovers, but they had never talked about it.

"When I talked to Tsuzuki he told me to face my feelings, then go and talk to you. I knew I wasn't better than anyone seeking the services of a whore, only I never left any money behind." He smiled darkly. "I used you, Ryu. It disgusted me, it shamed me... and it set me straight. I never saw you as my toy, Ryu. You'll never be an object to me."

"I can never be what you need, Rikugo," he murmured, reaching up to caress the soft skin.

Rikugo smiled gently. "You already are what I want and need."

"Oh really?" A derisive laugh. "I can't leave. I'm bound to this place. You can visit, but I can never see your world. Rikugo... one day you'll tire of it." Ryu felt the familiar ache, the ache that had preceded his total loss of control. He clamped down on it.

"Don't you think of ways to stay with me?" the astrologer asked quietly. "Do you only see the difficulties in our relationship? What we can't be and can't do? Is it so simple for you? Because it's not for me. I'm thinking about what we can do when we're together, how we can make this work."

"Rikugo..."

Again he was silenced, this time by a soft kiss. Ryu shivered a little.

"I want this to work, Ryu. I want you."

Oh Gods, how much he wanted this man at his side, but why should he be granted this happiness? Why should he be allowed to feel this way?

Rikugo brushed away the first slivers of tears.

"Happiness is for you, too. We can make this work. I'm willing to risk it, Ryu. Are you?"

"Why me?" he demanded, voice uneven. "You could find someone so much better... someone untainted..."

Rikugo silenced him again. "I want you, Ryu. Only you."

Oh Gods...

He slung his arms around the shikigami's shoulders and pulled him close, burying himself in that reassuring warmth and weight of his lover.

"Promise me to believe," Rikugo whispered into his ear.

"I'll try."

"No, promise me. I need you to be whole, Ryu."

He laughed brokenly. "I'm not, Rikugo. I never will be again. I'm damaged beyond repair." A sob escaped him. "I'm so jaded, nothing can make me right again."

Onyx eyes gazed at him and slowly, the red dragon eyes opened and he looked into the alien gaze. He didn't fear Rikugo's true nature, he didn't think of him as different. This was what his lover truly was.

"I can See the scars and the open wounds," he said softly. "They're old. But nothing of this is irreversible."

Ryu laughed softly, shaking his head, but when he tried to speak, Rikugo stopped him the third time.

"I'm not lying. It will take time and I want that time and the time after that with you. Will you give it to me?"

His breath caught in his throat at the implications. "Rikugo..."

"Give me this time and promise me to stay with me, Ryu. It's all I ask of you."

The tears gathered again, his emotions rising to the forefront like a tidal wave. He was too open, too vulnerable, at the moment.

"Yes," the Count whispered. "Yes, I promise."

"Thank you."

And Rikugo leaned down for a new kiss. Ryu opened under the gentle assault, let him in, held him close, answering the kiss with one of his own.

Clothes went, skin met skin, and Ryu stroked and caressed and kissed his lover's body, finding known hot spots, delighting in the reaction. He licked his way around the firm nipples while his hands were busy further down south, slowly arousing what was already rather solid in his grasp.

When Rikugo was too close he stopped, nibbling and licking at his lover's throat, then rolling them around, presenting himself to the man in a blatant hint to take this the next step.

"No," Rikugo murmured, running a caressing hand over his side, making his stomach flutter.

"W-what?"

"I want you, Ryu."

He stared at the blond man, took in the open strands falling down his slender back, the black eyes, the face without its glasses, and he felt the teasing caress of long fingers over his skin.

"Rikugo...?"

"I want you, Ryu," the shikigami repeated.

"But I never... we never..." Ryu stammered, shocked by the implications, by the blatant offer.

Rikugo smiled softly and pulled him into a kiss. "Do you want to?"

"I..."

He was broadsided by the question. He had never dreamed of this. Sure, there had been fantasies. Porn movie fantasies that usually involved a very willing bottom, mostly bondage, and him in the aggressor position, but in real life he had never seen himself as the top. He had never seen this happening with Rikugo, who had so gently and carefully brought him out of this shell of neglect, of starving himself of any contact other that of his own hand.

Rikugo had taken over the lead part in their encounters and he had always willingly submitted.

Now that...

"I want to feel you inside me, Ryu."

Oh Gods, he wanted that, too. He had dreamed, yes. He had thought...

The image of the bound, blindfolded submissive from the movie came back and Ryu winced. No, not this way. Never this way. No bondage. He would never tie this wonderful man down.

"Ryu?"

"I want you, too," he whispered hoarsely. "Show me?"

Rikugo smiled and pulled him close. "It's not like you haven't seen it done a million times, right?" he whispered, his hand stoking his slightly deflated arousal again.

"Yes," he whispered breathily. "But... I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. Just follow my lead." He kissed him again. "You know the theory behind it. You touched me before. You penetrated me with your fingers before." More kisses and caresses, relaxing his tense body. "Just do the same again."

Ryu ran trembling, nervous hands down the lithe form, not believing what was about to happen. He had really never dared to hope... he had wanted to, but had buried this dream like so many things.

Rikugo whispered softly to him, encouraged him as he experimented with something that he had truly seen way too often not to know each and every step, but he had never done it to a lover.

Rikugo moaned in appreciation as he used lubed fingers to gain entry, as he did what he knew was necessary, what his lover had done so many time to him before. Long legs parted invitingly, ever wider to urge him on, and he gazed at the shikigami in wonder.

Rikugo's chest rose in deep breaths, soft moans passed his lips, and his eyes were half lidded in pleasure at the gentle manipulations. When Ryu added a third finger, wriggling them carefully, Rikugo gasped loudly.

"Ryu, please... now..." he groaned.

He withdrew, gazing at the dilated eyes, knew the expression of lust from other encounters, but never because he was about to enter his lover.

"Rikugo..." he murmured as he moved between the spread legs, running his hands over the hot skin, feeling muscles quiver.

"Now, please..."

He sheathed himself carefully, watching for any sign of pain, but except for the brief discomfort there was nothing. Long legs wrapped around his hips, drawing him close, and both men groaned with the pleasure.

"Move," the blond begged.

For a brief moment the movie images overlapped with the reality of Rikugo's presence here. For a moment he almost pulled back, aghast at even now seeing the bound and blindfolded actor, playing a submissive.

But then Rikugo's breathy whisper of his name let that bubble burst, led him back, and he started to move. Each stroke was like nothing he had ever experienced and he leaned forward, resting his hands left and right of his lover's shoulders for leverage, looking down into the pleasure-filled face. Their movements together were slow, increasing in speed as Ryu felt the need for release draw near. He didn't want this to end; he didn't want to stop, but the biological imperative was unstoppable.

He cried out his release, deeply buried, feeling the body underneath his tense and clamp around him almost at the same time, heard Rikugo answer his groan with one of his own.

Ryu collapsed then, aware of only the hot form underneath, of hands massaging his slick skin, of a gentle mouth delivering little kisses. He was rolled around, felt the separation and tried to protest it, but he had no strength left. There was the cool sensation of someone cleaning him, then he was pulled into a safe cocoon of strong arms.

"Ryu?" Rikugo questioned gently after a while.

Red eyes met onyx ones. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to feel, because so much was crashing down on him. All of what had happened up to this point... to this one moment he had never dared to hope for.

I love you, he thought, stunned by his own thoughts.

He loved. He felt. And he felt it for Rikugo. He loved Rikugo.

A gentle kiss was placed onto his lips.

"I love you," Rikugo only said as if answering his unspoken thoughts.

Tears gathered in his eyes as the blond shikigami gathered him near, and he closed them, trying to keep the liquid inside. Feeling only the strong body, the warmth, the heat... Ryu slid off into an exhausted but satisfied sleep.

* * *

Matters had calmed down. Rikugo had returned to his Palace, to the observatory, and to the sharp and watchful eyes of his sensei. Genbu hadn't said much, just given him a welcoming nod and gone about his business. Rikugo still felt the drawbacks of his reduced power and aura, but he had done what was necessary. It was a small price to pay.

Rain splattered against the window and the storm was rattling the shutters. Every now and then a sharp spike of lightning would illuminate the proverbial dark and stormy night. It was rare that it rained like this in GensouKai, but when it did, it was as if the floodgates had opened. Some shikigami hated storms, Suzaku among them. She became cross, even more short-tempered, and usually holed up somewhere, waiting out the weather. Others, mostly wind and water shikigami, thrived.

On a night like this Rikugo really loved his open fireplace, loved hearing the fire crackle, and rest in front of it with a large mug of hot chocolate. He had always had had a real knack for it, but even more so since Ryu had introduced him to this fluffy white stuff called marshmallows that could be melted on top of the hot liquid or put on a stick and roasted over the fire.

His lover had also introduced him to instant hot chocolate, the stuff one need only add boiling water to, but for Rikugo it just wasn't the real stuff. He needed real chocolate and real cream to melt it in. For Ryu the 'real thing' had been a treat. While Watson could move about Meifu unhindered and bought what his master wanted, he had never bought the basic ingredients; only instant.

An especially loud crack of thunder pulled him out of his thoughts, but also made him miss the first knock on his door. But not the second one, and when the astrologer opened he looked at -- a slender figure in a hooded coat that gave a real good impression of a drowned cat.

"Byakko?!" he exclaimed, shocked.

Water ran down in rivers from the not very protective coat and Byakko peeked out from under the hood.

"Uh, hey. May I come in?"

"Sure. Holy, boy, what are you trying to do in a weather like..."

Red eyes blinked at him from under the dripping hood and Rikugo trailed off... déja vu anyone? He forced himself to relax, but the tension was creeping up unwanted. So instead of focusing on the past, he focused on the here and now, which meant a soaking wet tiger in his home.

"Here, you must be soaked to your skin. I'll get you a towel and some robes," Rikugo said, throat still dry as he put the items in front of his guest before turning back to the fire.

"Are you preparing chocolate, Rikugo?" Byakko asked, voice muffled through the towel he was rubbing himself dry with.

"Yes. You... like some?"

"Sure. I've tried the other stuff in Meifu and it's good, but yours still is the best."

"I see."

Rikugo's mind was whirling when he heated some more cream and crumbled the chocolate into it. Why was Byakko here? Why had he come to his place, in weather like this? Why now?

When he returned with the steaming mugs Byakko had curled up in a large chair in front of the fire, the robes, almost too large for his size, drawn around him like a blanket. It made him look a lot like the lonely eleven-year-old who had come to him such a long time ago. He was staring into the fire, the dancing flames reflecting in his red eyes causing an interesting effect... like some demon's eyes Rikugo loved to drown in.

The astrologer carefully put the steaming mug into Byakko's hands, sinking down in the chair opposite him, and watched as the young man took a sip, red eyes closing in joy.

"Just like I remember it," he said quietly and Rikugo had to swallow.

So it was all about the devil incident. He glanced into the flames.

"Did you See everything?"

Rikugo's head shot up, eyes widening in shock at the rather conversationally uttered question.

"I... don't know. I... I didn't See me anymore when you were older, but..."

"Then you're lucky."

"What?!"

In the Golden Emperor's name, what else could he have done to the tiger that he hadn't seen in the soul chambers? What more horrors did Byakko remember?

Granted, he hadn't opened every door to every chamber -- and damn, what he had seen had been more than enough -- but...

"Please tell me I stopped... " he blurted, almost pleading.

"You didn't." Byakko took another sip, curling into the warm robe even more. "Well, you did, when I turned twenty-two. But not of your own free choice. Thing is, you got killed."

What? How...?

"I remember seeing your... well, what was left of your body. Somebody really hated you."

Gods... did he even want to hear that? Rikugo swallowed, only then remembering the cooling chocolate in his own hands and took a large gulp. No, he didn't want to hear any more of this, but -- Byakko maybe needed to talk about it. He took it as a sign of trust that the tiger even talked to him again, much more visited him in at this late hour. In this weather. Alone.

"Your spine was broken, so you weren't able to move your lower body. I don't know why you didn't create a subspace bubble, but I assume the pain from your hands was too great, where the eyes got burned out with a white hot poker." Byakko pointed at the fireplace, and Rikugo blanched. "That poker was used on you in... uh... several other places, but I think since your nerves were not longer functioning you didn't feel much of it. You might have smelled the burning flesh, though."

Rikugo felt his knees become weak, reminding himself that what Byakko was telling him was not real, had never been real.

For the tiger it was. In a twisted, jaded way.

"Your ribs were broken, each one pushed in, through your inner organs. You must have been still alive then, since there was blood from the pierced lungs on your mouth. You must have been about to drown in your own blood. But that didn't kill you."

"How...?" Rikugo croaked.

He didn't want to know.

Not really.

But he had asked...

"Your heart was ripped out. And roasted."

Rikugo managed to stutter an excuse before he stumbled into the bathroom.

When he returned to his guest -- minus the recently consumed dinner -- Rikugo did feel a little better. Byakko was still curled up on the chair, the empty mug standing beside him on the table. In the firelight he looked almost peaceful, but there were lines in that young face. Lines of sleepless nights, of remembered horror, of pain. Rikugo felt sick all over again at the memories he had seen while looking for the young shikigami.

The astrologer sank carefully down into his chair once more and red eyes gazed at him, so forlone, so filled with nightmares.

"I'm sorry," Byakko whispered. "I think I... I did that. And because of that Tsuzuki never had twelve shikigami. Because you weren't there Sohryu killed Hisoka when he came to find his shikigami... Tsuzuki never forgave him... Touda never received his pardon... and Tsuzuki... Tsuzuki became bitter..."

There was a hitch in the other shikigami's voice.

"It wasn't real. None of it was," Rikugo said as quietly as he could, rising to stand beside the fireplace.

Would this nightmare ever end? For the both of them?

"I know."

There was a rustle of clothing and Byakko was suddenly beside him. And then Rikugo froze as he felt fingers combing hesitantly through his cut hair. The white-blond strands rippled through the slender fingers as Byakko brushed over them, the back of his hand lightly touching Rikugo's skin.

"But this is," the wind god whispered.

"Yes."

"You... crippled yourself, Rikugo. You cut down your own powers and you won't be able to regain them within at least some decades!"

"Yes."

What else was there to say? It was the truth. With one cut he had removed a good century of growth. And a whole lot of power.

"Why did you do such a thing?" Byakko demanded, drawn between anger and desperation.

Onyx eyes met red ones as Rikugo turned to meet the quizzical gaze. Yes, those eyes were a lot like Ryu's, but far less demonic. It wasn't just the missing demon aura, it was the whole expression. There were two millennia reflected in Ryu's eyes.

"You were afraid of me, Byakko. You couldn't stand my presence, my aura made you flinch. I almost could hear you heart starting to hammer whenever you'd sense my approach. That's what I couldn't bear. To see a friend wince away, frightened, because of my simple -- being there. To know what must've run through your mind every time you saw me... I'd never... never lay a finger onto a child, and... gods, I wouldn't... "

Rikugo choked on the very word ‘rape'. He had had his rough times with one certain dragon -- sometimes Sohryu had needed to demonstrate his dominance - but even that he had consented to. His emotions were running amok and he was starting to tremble with the memories that weren't even his.

He hadn't...

He never would...

"I know, Rikugo," Byakko said softly. The wind god looked at him and suddenly made a very soft noise -- before Rikugo had an armful of shaking tiger.

The astrologer stood stunned as Byakko buried his head against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his waist, sobbing softly. Very, very carefully he closed his arms around the younger shikigami, noticing his own vision was starting to get blurry. Byakko clung to him like there was no tomorrow.

"They're fading away, Rikugo," Byakko murmured into his robes, "thank goodness they're fading away."

Rikugo sucked in a shuddering breath when he realized what Byakko was telling him and squeezed his eyes shut against the sharp stinging of his own tears. The tiger would mercifully be able to get over what that creature had planted into his mind, would be able to return to his old life, be the happy young man again Rikugo had missed so much, and was damn certain others missed, too. He carded his fingers into the white strands as he tightened his hold, ignoring the wetness running over his own cheeks as he felt the dam break in his friend, glad that Byakko could let it all out.

Byakko just hung on to him, shaking with the force of his emotional release, and Rikugo whispered softly to him. Reassuring words. He felt his aura rise with the need to make his former protégé feel safe, and for a moment he forcefully reined it in -- until a softly keening noise and a violent shake of the silvery-white head told him otherwise.

No longer as overpowering as before, but still effective... and wanted. Maybe even needed.

Rikugo didn't sense the rapidly approaching powerful aura but he saw the figure in the doorframe, as dripping wet as Byakko had been. His eyes widened at the appearance of the other Commander and he was ready to disentangle himself from Byakko, but something stopped him. Intense golden eyes bore into his as Touda watched the scene, and all Rikugo could do was blink away his own tears.

And then the serpent smiled faintly, closing the door behind him as he disappeared back into the storm.

Rikugo just closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, fighting against the new tears that threatened.

It took them both a while to calm down, for Byakko to detach himself, but he didn't draw away. His slightly puffy, red eyes looked at the astrologer and a watery smile graced his lips.

Rikugo urged him gently over to the couch and let him settle, gathering a blanket for the tiger to curl into. There was no denying the cat in the man, the cat who wanted comfort.

"Sorry," Byakko whispered.

"No, don't apologize." Rikugo smiled, suppressing the need to push back some rogue strands.

Byakko caught his hand and squeezed it. "It's okay," he whispered.

Was it? Rikugo wondered. Would it ever be okay again?

The wind god gazed at him, swallowing a little. "You... you got some more hot chocolate?" he asked softly.

Rikugo smiled. "Of course."

He rose and walked back to the small stove, then returned with a large mug for each of them. Settling down across from Byakko, the two shikigami were silent for a long time, each sipping his steaming hot chocolate.

"You didn't have to do that," Byakko finally said, not really looking at him, just glancing at the blond. "Cutting your hair and all. You're my friend, were always there after my father's death... I should have known... should have realized the memories were wrong... manipulated."

"You couldn't have," Rikugo replied gently. "The devil influenced you."

Byakko shivered a little. "Yeah, the devil..."

How could all of this have happened? Rikugo wondered as he watched the shikigami he had known since he had been born.

There was no answer to it and the echoes of the terrible events would still be there for a while to come. They were a few steps further now, but it wasn't the end yet. Both had to work on this problem, but Byakko had made a huge first step.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Byakko's wide eyes stared at him.

"For... giving us another chance," Rikugo said quietly.

The white tiger smiled hesitantly. "You're my friend, Rikugo. I don't want to lose you."

The words touched him and he smiled. "Neither do I want to lose your friendship, Byakko. Never."

The wind god's response was a wide, warm and very open smile.

They continued talking for quite some time until Byakko started to doze off, lulled into a relaxed sleep by the effects of the hot chocolate, exhaustion and the warmth of the blanket. Rikugo only adjusted the cover and smiled to himself.

It was a show of trust that touched him deeply.

* * *

Ryu's fingers carded through the too short, white blond strands and he listened to the appreciative hum of the shikigami in his arms. He pressed a kiss against one temple. Rikugo was dozing, not really aware but conscious enough to appreciate the caresses. He had returned to Meifu just this morning and Ryu had been delighted to have him with him.

Now, lying hidden within the huge maze, enjoying the smell of the fresh grass, the bushes around them, the two men were just with each other, no obligations, no pressure. He could feel the changes in Rikugo, could feel that something had finally started to heal, just like he himself was healing.

We're quite a pair, he thought with faint amusement. Quite a pair...

* * *

In a very remote place in the world of the living, two beings that didn't really belong there sat in the shade of an ancient, gigantic tree. It was a cool place, wonderfully relaxing, and there was no one around. Nature was the only witness, the only sound, the only presence everywhere.

Tsuzuki was leaning against one muscular shoulder of his white tiger shikigami. He had taken off his coat and jacket, rolled up the sleeves of the white shirt, and his eyes were closed as he dozed in the perfect calmness everywhere. Byakko was rumbling softly, a deep purr that resonated inside his friend and master.

After a while, Tsuzuki opened his eyes and gazed into the sky that peeked through the leaves.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Blunt ears pricked a little and red eyes regarded him curiously. "What for?"

"Sharing."

Byakko gazed at his master and friend, then leaned down and nuzzled the black hair. A gust of breath disturbed it a bit more and Tsuzuki reached up, stroking over the fur.

"You had a right to know."

"No, I didn't," Tsuzuki objected. "It's personal."

"I am yours, Tsuzuki. What happened not only influenced me, it also touched a lot more lives. Rikugo is one of your shikigami, too. He came here to help me. He hurt himself to make it easier for me." Byakko sighed softly. "He did everything to make it bearable for me, and now that my memories are fading, that the terror is no longer there, I understand the truth behind it all. You saw him... he crippled himself! For me!"

Agitation translated into the long tail whipping sharply over the grass.

"He loves you, Byakko," Tsuzuki told him softly. "He cares for you. I understand what he did."

"Tsuzuki..."

The shinigami shook his head. "No, don't argue, Byakko. He did what he had to. He made a decision. Honor it."

"He took centuries off his power levels!"

"He will regain his power."

"But what if he gets caught up in a fight...?"

Tsuzuki turned so he was facing the white tiger, meeting the agitated being's eyes. "You know I rarely call on him. His powers, even now, are fearsome in this world. You and Suzaku and Sohryu... you are my warriors here. And Rikugo won't be caught in any fights in GensouKai." He smiled a little. "I think the times when Sohryu wanted to challenge him to a physical confrontation are gone."

Byakko nodded slowly. "Yes."

"So he can heal at his own pace. And he has help, Byakko. Never doubt that."

A smile appeared on the wind god's features. "He found someone, right? I felt his happiness."

"Yes, he found someone. It's a complicated relationship, but I think they're very good for each other."

"Good."

Tsuzuki settled back again and Byakko gave him a nuzzle again, purring in gratitude.

Wound would heal slowly, for all of them, but they would heal.

* * *

Like many of his kind, Genbu was far more than he appeared to be, though it wasn't any more true than in his case. Looking at him, one would see an ancient, small, bearded shikigami. Bushy eyebrows obscured his eyes, making them close to impossible to read. His beard had grown almost to the ground and it was a miracle he didn't step on it.

Sometimes he did. Just to get a reaction.

Since it was mostly Rikugo in the palace, the reaction wasn't more than a raised eyebrow.

The term 'student' was correct anymore anyway. Rikugo had long since stopped being his pupil, had developed his power, had little more to learn from the oldest of the Gods. But their relationship had never changed, aside from Rikugo's sometimes respectless approach. But it was a game between them and Genbu delighted in their interaction. It kept him young, so to speak.

Rikugo was also one of the few who knew almost everything there as about the Protector of the North. They had had their shared evenings, talking about things no one had ever heard, revealing fears and secrets and hopes.

Because of that interaction and the long time they now knew each other, Genbu had early on realized that something had happened to his friend and student. It had started with the healing of Byakko, with entering the young tiger's mind, and whatever Rikugo had seen there, it had changed him. It had scared him... terrified and horrified him.

So Genbu had watched and he had listened. He was very good at listening.

And he had found more and more proof.

And in the end he had enough to know what had happened, even without his student telling him.

Rikugo had never talked to him -- until he had come back from one of his many visits to Meifu where he had found more than just someone to listen to him in form of Tsuzuki. Genbu was old, but not blind and deaf when it came to matters of the heart.

Rikugo had found love.

And it had changed him again.

So now, on that day, he was sitting in his private study where no servants would dare disturb him, and he looked at the changed man before him. Rikugo was glowing with his newfound strength, despite his shorter hair, despite his loss of power.

He listened. To what his former pupil had to say. And he understood more completely now than even before, despite the fact that nothing truly new was unveiled. His suspicions had been correct, but now he was getting the horrid details.

Genbu listened.

It was what was needed now.

* * *

Somewhere else, Touda sat on the roof of a place that had once been his palace, before he had fallen from grace. It was an old, run-down building that had never found a new owner after his imprisonment. Over the centuries, with no one taking care of it, it had fallen into disgrace, just like its former master. When Touda had been pardoned and reinstated, he had been given the choice: move back here, have it all renovated or rebuilt, or get a new place.

He had opted for the new place, which was almost in Byakko's back yard anyway.

Now he had sought a quiet place on the rotting tiles of the roof. It was unstable, but he knew where to step. It was quiet here, which was what he needed, but it wasn't too remote, so he could easily return to his own palace, or Byakko's.

His lover was the one on his mind anyway.

Touda knew something had happened, something related to the possession but also to Rikugo's role in Byakko's healing. Touda had very sharp eyes and he was probably one of the first of the Divine Commanders, aside from Genbu, to discover Rikugo's cut hair. He hadn't said anything, just watched the astrologer, and he had sensed the inner turmoil and pain.

Byakko and Rikugo. There had been something between them, something bad, something personal, something so intensely painful that it had driven the powerful dragon into mutilating himself.

Touda was observant but he wasn't nosy. He wouldn't push his lover into answering him questions about what had happened. He would listen should Byakko come to him. He would be open and accessible should Byakko need him. He would be there.

But he wouldn't push.

It wasn't his style and he wouldn't change anything about his approach to Byakko and the others. The tiger trusted him. He loved him. The moment Byakko decided it was time tell, he would. Until then, Touda would wait.