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Tony was sitting in the compound dining room, flicking automations on opposite walls, rolling his eyes at some of the research he was looking at.
He was stuck.
Damnit.
Sighing, he sat back in his chair and rubbed his temples, his brain firing neurons too quickly.
Maybe he should take a break.
Suddenly, a female voice snapped him out of his reverie, an unknown female voice.
“You know, we can always reschedule the group if you can’t do it tomorrow?”
It was Steve, with some woman.
She was actually quite cute, brunette, short, a little stocky, but had a killer smile and twinkling eyes.
“Nah, I can make it tomorrow. Have some stuff I need to do around here though, if I’m a little late, could you get everything rolling for me?”
She smiled up at Steve, “Sure, of course.”
Tony watched them interact, watching as Steve gave her little smiles, and she told him things that he found humorous.
Raising an eyebrow, Tony turned back to his projections, feeling suddenly very hollow.
He needed to get home.
“Tony?” Pepper questioned him, snapping him out of his thoughts at the table.
Blinking his eyes rapidly, Tony looked up at his wife, who was staring at him in concern.
“Is everything okay?” She asked, moving her drink a little bit to the right.
Tony nodded, clearing his throat and sitting further up in his chair.
“Yeah, yes. Sorry, I’ve looked through so many books, and online sites today, my brain is near exploding. And, coming from a genius, that is saying a lot.”
Morgan sniggered beside her father, and Pepper fondly rolled her eyes.
Tony smiled too, looking at both his girls.
Pepper watched that smile fall two seconds later, his eyes going to a faraway place.
“Where are the coffee beans in this place?” Tony snapped, trying to remember where they used to be located.
“Um, are you looking for these?” A female voice caught his attention.
Tony spun around, coming face to face with the same woman who was here yesterday.
No name girl.
What was she doing here so early?
“Uh, yeah. Sorry, kind of startled me.” He grumbled, taking the beans from her.
She smiled, shuffling her feet.
Silence.
“I uh, I’m Cortney. Steve’s friend from our group. I hope you guys don’t mind that I spent the night last night. Steve and I were up late trying to put together this party for the people who attend.”
Tony was pouring the water into the pot when she said that, the words making him splash a little bit of the liquid over the sides.
“Damn.” He cursed.
Cortney was beside him in an instant.
“I’m so sorry, um, I can help clean it up if you’d like?”
Tony shook his head, giving her a fake smile, “Nah, it’s alright, I got it. Tiny spill. My daughter is always spilling things. No biggie.”
He wondered if she could see how tight his lips had gotten around his teeth.
Two hours later, in the midst of reading a book that was going on and on about the soul stone, Tony felt the book be lifted from his hands and laid on the table.
Growling audibly, he turned and made to snap at the jackass who took away his reading material.
“Hey, Cap. I was kind of in the middle of something. Old age must be doing funny things to your vision.” He said to the taller male, who looked rather annoyed.
“I heard you were rude to Cortney.”
Oh, Jeez.
Tony looked at him like he was stupid, folding his arms and sitting back.
“I ran into her in the kitchen this morning, rather early I might add. Didn’t know we were hosting sleeping parties at the compound now, Cap. We gonna start recruiting again, because if we are, we should add something to Monster.com, or Indeed, whichever.”
Steve narrowed his eyes, nostrils flaring at Tony’s sarcasm.
“She only stayed here because we were planning a party together.”
Tony chuckled, pushing the book fully away now.
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Tony sniggered again.
Steve looked pointedly at him, not finding him funny in the least.
Oh well, Tony found himself funny, that was all that mattered.
“She slept in the guest room, we are not doing anything like that with each other.”
Tony smirked, God, couldn’t he handle this maturely? Apologize for being rude to the woman he didn’t know, and just move on with his day?
Nope.
“No. But she wants too. I can tell. I mean, why not? She’s attractive, you’re the epitome of human perfection. Bumping uglies wouldn’t be so terrible now would it?”
A pinched expression touched Steve’s face at that comment and he was now in full on haughty mode.
“I don’t go around sleeping with everyone I meet Tony, and right now really isn’t the time.”
The brunette raised an eyebrow, feeling his annoyance and jealousy grow stronger.
“But, if it were the right time. You would?”
Steve sighed, folding his arms.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to it. She is cute.”
Well, that answers that.
Tony felt his hands ball into fists, and eyebrow twitch.
“By all means, don’t let saving the world stop you, Cap. I mean, we can all halt this process in order for Captain America to get his dick wet.”
Silence.
Steve didn’t say anything as red flooded his face and his lips took on a pinched expression.
Tony stood across the way, watching as fury climbed up the blonde mans features, but nothing was said.
Not usually good for the two men.
“Tell Ciara I’m sorry.” Tony snapped, propping the book under his arm, moving to storm out of the room.
Before he slipped by Steve though, the blonde shot out his hand and gripped the shorter males bicep.
Tony growled, glowering right into the stormy blue eyes that looked down at him.
“Hands. Off. Rogers.” He hissed, gritting his teeth.
Steve didn’t let go though, backing him up until his back hit the glass wall.
Silence, save for heavy breathing.
Tony watched as Steve’s eyes roamed his face, still full of fury and annoyance. But, there was something else there, something he couldn’t define, something that nearly made Tony’s legs turn into mush.
Steve saw it in his eyes too, if his shocked expression was anything to go by.
Letting go suddenly, he turned his back on the brunette, “You need to apologize, Tony.” He grated out, before leaving in a hurry.
Psht, like hell.
That night, in his bed, Tony laid there, staring up at the ceiling, recounting the events of the day.
He had been jealous. He knew that, he wasn’t stupid.
Would Steve really fuck that woman?
The thought alone made Tony grit his teeth, forcing his eyes out the window, trying to find his happy place.
But, it wasn’t only that. It was the way Steve looked at him, his blue eyes sucking Tony in.
Christ, he’d never felt anything like it before.
Silence.
God, this was so wrong, and Pepper didn’t deserve it.
Tony really was a bastard.
Steve was sitting on his bed, playing with his cell phone when he got the text.
I’m sorry if I made your friend uncomfortable today.
Steve snorted.
Tony isn’t the easiest person to talk to. Don’t worry about it.
He seemed to act like I was impeding on his territory.
He’s controlling in that way, don’t worry about it, really.
Didn’t seem to like the fact that I spent the night either. Wonder why?
Steve didn’t message her again for awhile, his own thoughts jumbled as he lay in bed, staring at his own ceiling.
Turning over, he grabbed his cell phone, finally reading her message.
There could be many reasons. I think it’s best if we meet in town next time, I don’t want to make any of my teammates uncomfortable, there’s a lot going on here. Is that alright?
Sure.
At that, Steve stopped texting her, laying his phone to the side.
What was that about today? Tony seemed really angry that Cortney was here at all, never mind the fact she spent the night.
He seemed borderline hostile about it.
They had been working rather well together, up until today that is. No arguments, no snarling at each other, no getting in each others faces. It was safe to say today had killed that streak though.
Steve tried his best to almost avoid Tony, for…reasons.
It seemed the respectful thing to do. Not only on Tony’s part, but on Peppers as well.
He needed to keep his distance.
Closing his eyes, he remembered the wide, brown eyes stare into his, the eyelashes long, dark and beautiful framing the doe like expression.
Tony really was a beautiful man, even when he had gotten back from space.
Almost emaciated, and Steve thought he was gorgeous.
Oh God, this was so wrong.
He was harboring feelings towards a married man.
Man alive, he could not help it though. He had tried. Had tried to block it out, to push it back. But…seeing Tony after years of not seeing him was like finally finding water after being out in the desert for months at a time.
It was a feeling that would never be able to be replicated within Steve’s heart.
And honestly, the mere mention that he could just randomly fuck a woman he knew only in group, was laughable. Did Tony not know him at all?
Yes, he found her attractive. But, he found Nat attractive as well, doesn’t mean he’d go to bed with her.
Sighing, Steve shoved a pillow over his face, his fingers tingling from touching Tony’s arm today.
He felt himself harden.
Closing his eyes, he breathed out a heavy sigh. Was he really so pathetic that merely touching this man made him horny?
“Friday?” He mumbled, rubbing his temples.
“Captain.” She responded, turning the lights up in his room.
“Protocol 22, please?” He said, shame shooting through every orifice, making him almost choke.
A married man.
Christ, he was going to hell.
Suddenly, the lights were turning down and Steve was shoving his hand in his stretch pants, grasping his cock.
On the wall in front of him was Tony. Just pictures of random events, his Iron Man suit, galas, conventions.
Steve stroked to every image, those eyes drawing him in, making him feel whole after feeling broken after so long.
It was erotic, yet so painful. Because he knew, he knew that Tony was fully out of reach now, and that was…
All his fault.
Shaking his head, he shoved those thoughts away, continuing his pleasure, the pictures breaking his heart, yet completing him.
Landing on a photo of Tony just in a bathing suit, Steve stroked harder, biting his lip, feeling his balls tighten beneath his shaft.
“God, Tony.” He moaned, arching his back, feeling his release crash over him, stealing away his breath and thoughts all in one go.
After cleaning up, Steve laid in bed, facing the window, watching the stars outside.
Turning the other way, he faced the wall instead.
The thought of outer space, and the picture of stars used to bring him peace, now it just frightened him. His trip into space was…exciting? It was what came from space that scared the hell out of him.
And also what happened with Tony, the thought of being adrift in that massive expansion is enough to spin him into a panic attack.
God, it made Steve respect Tony’s resourcefulness, and damn stubbornness even more. That man had refused to die out there.
And he succeeded.
Just barely, but he still managed it.
He’d never forget the surge of complete relief when he saw Tony descend those stairs. After that, his brain kind of went offline. Storming past Pepper, his fiancée, to get to him.
He didn’t care though, all he cared about was getting to Tony.
I lost the kid.
Tony, we lost.
Then Pepper was there, grabbing a hold of her fiancée, shoving him against her chest, crying into his hair.
Steve tried to control the feelings of jealousy and near resentment of the image, but he couldn't help it. Just looking at Tony made him feel so much guilt, it was near crippling.
Shaking his head again, he cleared those thoughts, wanting to find sleep sometime tonight, and with that mindset going, he’d be invaded by nightmares of expansive space, and Tony screaming at him, asking why he betrayed him, and left him in a bunker to get home all alone.
Fuck.
Sitting up, he put his head in his hands, taking a deep breath, trying to steer the looming panic attack.
Tugging at his hair, he felt the room start to tilt around him, making his vision hazy and the air thicker, cutting off his breathing.
“Take deep breaths, Captain.” Friday was saying from what seemed like miles away.
“I can’t. I can’t.” He was huffing out, harsh sobs shaking his chest.
Friday was turning the lights down a little bit, talking to him in a comforting way.
“S-Stop talking!” He gasped out, hitting his head, pulling his hair.
“Getting Mr. Stark on the line, sir.”
No!
“No! Friday! Belay that!”
Too late.
Click.
“Steve? What’s going on? Why are you calling at 2 a.m.? Hello?”
He couldn’t speak, the words were clogging his throat, along with his breathing.
“Sir, Captain Rogers is in the middle of a very bad anxiety attack. He requires assistance.”
Tony grew silent then, and Steve wanted to ask him to not go away!
“Steve.”
He turned his eyes to the screen in his room, seeing Tony’s face.
Letting out a wet sob, he was still clutching his hair.
“Hey. Look at me, Steve.”
The blonde man locked eyes with him, feeling the world continue to spin around him.
“You have to take deep breaths Steve, I know it’s easier said than done, but you have to do it.”
Steve shook his head, clenching his eyes shut again.
“The room is spinning, Tony.” He got out, wanting to rip his hair out of his head.
“It’s just your anxiety, Steve. It’s amping everything up, but it’s all in your mind. If you breath, your heart rate will go down, and the room will stop spinning so badly. Hear me?”
Steve nodded roughly.
“There’s a good lad, now, breath in for ten seconds, and out ten seconds, okay?”
It took ten minutes to get Steve to a state where he could manage to give Tony complete, functional sentences.
He was just embarrassed now.
“I’m really sorry.” He whispered, his face turning blood red.
“Hey. I know exactly where you’re coming from, friend. After New York, I had panic attacks daily, multiple times daily. It was the worst thing ever.”
Steve gave a small smile, nodding in agreeance.
Silence.
“D-Did I wake you up? I didn’t wake Pepper up did I?” He asked the brunette, blue eyes almost puppy dog like.
Tony shook his head.
“No. I was in my little shop downstairs, doing more research. I couldn't fall asleep.”
Steve looked down.
Silence.
“So, it’s unlike you to have panic attacks, Cap. When did these pop up?” Tony questioned softly, knowing that the blonde would be hesitant in opening up about something so personal, especially with Tony himself.
Steve shut his eyes tightly, breathing in and out again.
“Um, well, it could stem from the fact that I watched multiple people turn to ashes in front of me.” Steve mumbled in a gravelly voice.
Tony sighed, rubbing his forehead.
“Yeah. That would be a factor, wouldn’t it?” Tony whispered.
Silence.
“It’s not mainly that though, big factor, but not the only thing.”
Tony looked at him in silence, focusing all his attention on the blonde before him.
“They started getting really bad after we fought, and when you got back from space.”
Silence.
“Tony?” Steve whispered raggedly, watching the many demons cross the brunettes features over the camera.
Silence.
Oh God, he had gone and ruined it.
“I’m really sorry, you shouldn’t have to put up with this. Please, go back t-to bed, and if I woke up Morgan or Pepper, I’m really sorry. Friday called you without notifying me that she would.”
Tony’s head whipped up to Steve, eyebrows furrowing.
“No. It’s not that. St-.”
“End call, Friday.” Steve interrupted, not able to listen to Tony anymore.
When his image had faded out, Steve choked on a sob working its way up his throat, emotions that he was trying to shove back coming to the forefront.
Oh Jesus.
What the hell was he going to do about this?