Chapter Text
The Prologue
The impact of the imploding rebel base brings me to my knees. The Final Order has found us.
The deafening whirs of TIE fighters flying over ring in my ears.
I ball my fists. This isn’t how it was supposed to end. I try to stand, but threatening shots are fired all around me. Damn Stormtroopers.
I am weaponless. I am defenseless. I am cut off from the Force.
An electrical current runs through me. The fear of failure fuels my veins once more as I try to stand up.
My face hits the ground immediately and my entire body becomes frozen. Then a low ringing starts up in my ears. Wetness trickles down my face and into my mouth. Blood.
Groggily, I roll over and see a dark robed figure.
“At last...” the being croaks in a grave voice. “I have brought the Empress to her knees. Your destiny awaits, my child.”
Before I can form a protest, darkness encompasses me.
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Tatooine - present
“I really hate sand. There is absolutely no need for it” I grumble. BB-8 is stuck in a sand trap and making the most disgruntled beeping noises ever heard.
We were on our way to a local trading post, on Tatooine, when we accidentally passed through Tusken Raider territory.
I suppose it was my fault since my eyes had been trained on the sky for the entire trip. Searching for someone. For him.
“BeeeeoooooooOooooooop” BB-8 quips.
“Alright, alright! I’m sorry. I’ve gotcha now” I exclaim as I raise the droid out of the pit.
Once free, BB-8 rolls quickly ahead as if in petulant rage.
“Don’t throw a fit too far ahead, you’ll get blasted!” I yell. “Or worse, fall in another pit!”
I hear only silence in return. “Off with him then” I mutter as I continue trudging through the coarse sand.
I slump my shoulders. A feeling of loneliness shoots through me.
I just wanted to grab parts to fix the Falcon, but my mind drifted elsewhere. It drifted to him. Always him.
A wave of familiar energy rushes through me. Then—“You really need to stop thinking about me when I’m in the middle of a meeting with Lando and the other generals. He somehow knows when my mind drifts to you. It’s starting to get creepy.”
Captain Ben Solo, General Leia Organa and Han Solo’s only son, appears before me. He's also better known as the former Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. To me, it's just Ben.
Being force-bonded with your past enemy should have been awkward, but we made it work by deciding to get married after the war.
“You have to know that I can’t help but miss those wavy locks of yours” I tiredly say. He smiles knowingly at me.
For years, our bond would open up during our weakest moments. Almost like it wanted us to help the other or bring us together.
One such moment was when I was on Ilum. The snowy and secluded planet that was home to the famous kyber crystals. Crystals that powered a Jedi’s lightsaber.
This occurred when The Knights of Ren were first assigned to capture me. No thanks to the one and only Kylo Ren. He had figured out my location when I slipped on some ice while trudging past the newly melted ice door leading into the Crystal Caves.
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Ilum - past
He appeared in my peripherals, but I ignored him at first trying to stamp down the force bond.
“Looking to get frostbite, scavenger? I never figured you one for snow.” I slip again, but this time he catches my fall. “Don’t touch me.” I snarl at him.
A mask-less Kylo Ren lifts a brow and nods as he releases my bicep. “I expected as much.” He puts his hands behind his back and leans forward. “A scavenger is always true to her nature, but one must learn to work with others in order to survive this war. Note that I say survive, not win.”
“You must really enjoy hearing yourself talk.” I huff at him. Continually stumbling through sheet of ice was not how I wanted to stand my ground against the Supreme Leader, but I had to try.
“What planet are you on? You look like you could go for a nice hot cup of caf right now. And perhaps a warm blanket or five.”
“This again?” I grumble. “I will not be easily swayed by you.”
He cocks his head and looks at my waist where Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber should be. “Must be hard trying to fix the lightsaber that we completely shattered together. I’d consider it impossible. Maybe your only choice would be to...” he trails off and looks back up at me. He smiles and the bond closes.
I start sliding across the ice like a porg using my staff like an oar. He knows where I am and what I intend to do. I must locate my kyber crystal fast. I refuse to turn back now.
As I climb up a wall of ice, I sense it. Not the calling of my crystal, but the ice door beginning to close up behind me. I’m running out of time. My chance of escape is low. I parked the Falcon too far away and came alone. Kylo was right in one aspect. I needed to stop being a lone wolf and work with others. I wouldn’t be in this situation otherwise.
Right now, my options are looking slim. Either the First Order will capture me first, or I’ll freeze to death. I honestly don’t know which option I would prefer.
I slip down some ice and find myself flung into a pool of the coldest water I’ve ever felt. My entire body instantly started shaking and cramped up. I managed to get my arms moving and broke the surface.
I swim to an edge of the pool and pull myself out. As I start to stand up, I glance up and gasp. There, in front of me, are dozens of glowing kyber crystals. “This is incredible.” I whisper. But then my brow creases. “This is also impossible.”
I reach forward and try to grab one of the glowing crystals, but then the caves start to shake. I hurriedly grab one of the crystals and start sprinting out of there. The First Order has arrived. I can sense his presence.
As I find my way back to the entrance, the ice wall has only a few more feet left before it is entirely frozen over. I waste no time and quickly slip under.
An AT-AT appears before me and is pointed directly at me as I stand back up. It starts to shoot and I scramble sideways. This is not how I wanted to be greeted after finding my first kyber crystal. Soaking wet and being chased by my enemies. A memory that will last a lifetime if I manage not to get blasted to pieces first.
The force of the blasts rock the side of the ice mountain and causes some snow to fall. I start my way towards the Falcon and slip behind a wall of ice before the AT-AT could turn around. I hear a squad of troopers up ahead and position myself out of their sights as they pass by.
Once they pass, I continue to trek my way off this icy and desolate planet. Once I see my ship in sight, a blast knocks me off my feet. I collect my bearings and get up quickly. Six masked figures in all black block my path to the Falcon. Each carrying a different weapon that oozed darkness.
I think of my options. Head back towards the troopers and AT-AT and get shot immediately, or face them head on and get cut in half immediately.
Luckily, none of the masked weirdos don a lightsaber so my staff will have to do. For now. I do what I do best, I engage my enemies head on and charge. As I reach the my first opponent, I am force pushed back several feet and see a ship starting to land. The Silencer, Kylo Ren's infamous ship, touches down making snow fly up everywhere.
I stand up and slowly back up. The six figures close in on me as the ship’s door opens to the sight of Kylo Ren walking towards me like he had a right to be here. A right to stand on the very planet that granted him his first lightsaber. The planet that shaped his very beginning.
I force jumped onto a nearby cliff so I had a higher vantage point. I am immediately surrounded. As Kylo walks towards me he force pulls my staff out of my hands and then the kyber crystal out of my pocket.
“I don’t think you’ll be needing these anytime soon. Surrender now, Rey. You have nowhere else to go.”
My adrenaline kicks in and I close my eyes and feel for the force. I feel for the living beings that are hidden and sequestered on Ilum. I tug on their life forces and search for a way out. I find one. I open my eyes and jump down in front of Kylo and start sprinting towards him. As he reaches a hand out to stop me—
A shot rings out in both of our ears. I am looking straight at Kylo as I see his brown eyes widen in horror as he tries to catch my fall. Pain like I’ve never felt before spiderwebs across my back in spasms of electric shock that includes an intense pressure that shoots up into the back of my neck. I can't hold in the gasp of agony
I’ve been shot in the back.
Kylo catches me and brings us down to the icy floor. “Rey! No! No no no no no. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He whispers.
I frown at him. I don’t understand why he’s saying this. Doesn’t he want me dead? Maybe he just wanted information on the rebel movement. To stop his own mother, General Organa, from pestering his First Order once and for all.
I start seeing black spots on his face but blink those away as I start to feel the pain lessen in my lower back. Almost... almost as if it were going numb. There are tingling sensations shooting through my lower half. Then I felt nothing. As if the pain just stopped. Did he heal me? No, that couldn’t be right. That would be impossible.
Then I look down at my legs and try to move them. I can still move my hips, but I can’t move my legs to stand. To stand and try to run away from all this. I can’t though. I can’t run. I can’t move my legs.
The shot paralyzed me from the waist down.
Kylo Ren finally has the upper hand. I slowly look back up at Kylo as he hovers his hand behind my back trying to assess the damage. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He repeats again. “Can you...” he gulps. “Can you stand?”
I look at him with abject grief and hesitate to answer. He places his hand on my leg to try to help me move it and looks at me expectantly, but somehow, he knows I can’t feel it. “I can feel the numbness and the pain, Rey. I can feel everything. You don’t need to lie.”
He’s attuned to my physical pain through our force bond somehow. Why would the force show him this? Why would it let my enemy know my condition?
I close my eyes for a moment and feel the fight drain from my body. I open them again and coldly stare at him. “You’ve won, Kylo Ren. I can’t run from you anymore.”
“This is not a win. This is not...” he trails off as he notices a red-headed man sauntering up to him with a shit-eating grin.
“Where’s my thank you, Ren?” General Hux says as he sneers down at me. “About time this desert rat is rendered... useless.” He grins at me and looks expectantly at Kylo.
“Ready the med-bay. We leave at once.” Kylo replies and lifts me up.
“We should kill her while she still stands. Or rather,” Hux's face lights up with mirth, “kill her while she’s down. It’s really too bad I didn’t aim higher.” Hux says as he spins his blaster in his hand.
I notice Kylo’s jaw tighten, but continues on carrying me toward The Silencer. “I don’t repeat myself” was all he replied.
General Hux huffs indignantly, but walks ahead of us to shout the orders.
We arrive at the med bay soon enough and Kylo gently sets me down on a white cushioned bench. A small droid then scans me over with a red laser.
The numbness in the lower half of my body spreads to my mood. I feel numb. The will to fight is slowly seeping out of me and the man I’ve been running from for several years is the only thing keeping me tethered to consciousness right now.
“What now?” I ask as I slowly tip my head up to him. "What are you going to do with me?"
Kylo looks down at me for a while in a pained expression, while the med droid continues to scan away. I can sense, no I can FEEL the anguish inside him. He feels remorse for what has happened to me. But why?
I come out of my reverie as I am poked forcefully in the back and pain shoots through my back. “GaaaaAHHH!” I clench down on my teeth to try and keep quiet as I cradle my head.
The droid speaks up. “The patient is suffering a spinal cord injury, but due to the amount of force and spread of the blaster fire, there is currently no feeling below the waist. Since the patient can feel pain in her back, there is a 21.7 percent chance that it can be healed completely through bacta treatments. How would you like me to proceed, Supreme Leader?”
Kylo is still looking at me. He takes a deep breath and looks away.
“Induce her in a medical coma and put her in the bacta tank. I want her fully healed. Keep this knowledge to yourself and if anyone asks, send them to me.”
A wave of confusion washes over me. It’s almost like he’s feeling the same way too, confused and lost. I go to speak to him, but he turns his back and walks out of the med bay. I wouldn’t have known what to say anyways.
I blink as the doors shut and I turn back to the droid. It pokes me with a needle and I succumb to a deep sleep. My last thought lingering on a dark set of troubled, brown eyes.
————————————————————
When Kylo Ren turned to the light side, the day General Organa passed on, he handed me his lightsaber and took a knee. With his head bowed, he reached out his hand and asked if he could join me. If I could ever forgive him.
Our force bond has connected us and shown each other our darkest moments. The moments that brought understanding and acceptance to our confusing relationship.
I forgave him and took his hand. He showed me that, even as the heartless monster that I claimed him to be, he would still make sure I never suffered. Because he grew to care for me. Like I did for him. We were the same, him and I, and no one else besides us could understand each other to our very cores.
When he healed me on Ilum and helped me escape off his ship, I knew things were only beginning with us. The surprise he felt when utter fear enraptured his heart as I was shot in front of him, shook him to his very core.
Realization bloomed in his mind that I should be protected at all costs. Like I was and will always be a part of his soul. He likes to whisper that part to me late at night when his arms are around me and everything feels oh so right in the world.
————————————————————
Tatooine - present
I try to force a smile, but quit immediately when his brows furrow. “What’s happened? We haven’t received a report from you in two days. Do I need to send a unit for assistance? I can fly out to you now.”
I sigh inwardly. Who knew that the imposing, dark, and raging man I used to know as Kylo Ren would turn into such a mother hen.
“Falcon trouble. Again. I’m working my way towards an outpost now for spare parts.”
Ben comes up to me and takes my hands in his and locks his stern, brown eyes on my tired, hazel ones.
“When will you let me buy you a new ship. That filthy pile of junk is going to get you killed, or worse, stranded on a desert planet! Oh... WAIT. You already are.”
I pull away from him and continue walking. He follows alongside me.
“Rey. You need to be more careful. Ever since you’ve started having those visions, a dark presence seems to be drawing near. Next time, take FN-2—“
“You mean Finn?” I stormily shoot back at him.
“Yes, yes. Uh. F-Finn. Right. He can watch your back while you continue to get distracted by everything around you...”
His voice suddenly fades away.
I freeze. Ben vanishes and the sand turns to black ice. The ground starts to shake and then stops.
“...Ben?” I whisper. Nothing in response.
“BB-8?” I bend down and feel the ground. It’s cold and hard. I slide forward, stumbling as the now icy ground quakes once more.
I close my eyes and focus on the Force to try and decipher my surroundings.
I am hit with emptiness. Abruptly so. My heart drops and the coldness starts to seep into my skin. This feeling is familiar. I’ve had this dream before. Chalk up another vision coming true.
The quaking begins again and a crack begins in the ice just a few feet in front of me. A powerful winds beats against me and I try to stay put. My balance is lost as I am pushed towards the now-gaping ice chasm before me. I search for something to grab onto, but there is nothing. I brace myself.
Then I am falling.
I hit the ground quickly, but it is not a hard impact. I reach down and my hand slides through sand. Sand that is horrible and beautiful at the same time. My relief is short-lived as I look up and see multiple weapons pointed at me from above.
“Oh Kriff.”
Tusken Raiders really know how to set their sand traps.
I begin to stand, but what might’ve been a warning shot clips my shoulder blade as I tumble back into the sand. Blinding pain shoots through me for a few moments and then I look up and see BB-8 being kicked down in the pit with me. The droid crashes into my knee and I just lie back and suffer through the pain silently.
A few hours pass and I feel Ben’s force signature pushing to get through to me. I let him in, but it was more like a crash of nerfherders running me over from the force of his emotions.
“ARE YOU OKAY? I am on my way to you now. You need to stay put and have BB-8 apply bacta spray to your wounds while you wait for me. You need to be more careful. You have no idea what it felt like when our link suddenly failed. I...I thought I lost you.”
Somehow Ben got all of this out within a single breath.
“I’m fine. But you’re not. Breathe. Just breathe, it’ll be okay.” I try to console him even though I’m the one shot and stuck in a sand trap.
He realizes this and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. Okay. I just reached planet-side. Stay put.”
“Aye aye captain.” I salute him.
Ben smirks. “You might want to cover your ears.”
“Why?” I’m answered with a barrage of blaster fire erupting all around me. “Ah.”
Our connection ends and I try to sit up. No use. I lost too much blood. I breathe out through my nose and signal for BB-8 to apply bacta spray to my shoulder.
“Thanks buddy.” The droid beeps happily and scans me for more physical damage.
I hear commotion from above. Fighting grunts from the sounds of it. I hear a final gun shot and a halo of black hair appears from above.
I am force lifted up and into his awaiting arms. “Don’t forget about BB-8!” Since the droid is beeping indignantly below.
“Are you really chastising me for saving your life, right now?” Ben grumbles as his grip on me tightens. Painfully.
“Ow...” I gasp. Ben’s eyes widens and sets me down. He runs one of his hands down my back to check for any additional damage. “Sorry love. I’ll get your droid and we can fly out of here. Where did you park the junk heap?”
I narrow my eyes at him and mutter “the moisture farm.”
“Why were you at Uncle Luke’s old dwellings? That place has been picked through by at least dozens of junkers over the years. There’s nothing there.” Ben says as he lifts BB-8 out of the pit.
I am still chilled by the vision I experienced earlier and confused. And still in pain. I close my eyes for a quick moment for a short reprieve, but feel a sharp poke between eyebrows.
“Stay awake. You must’ve hit your head when you fell and I don’t like how your pupils keep dilating” Ben grumbles as he lifts me up and carries me back to his ship. I sense his anxiety through his force signature. Ever since Ilum, we can better sense each other’s moods and thoughts.
Once, Ben touched a plant that was native from Jakku and a force echo of my own memory swept through him. We are interconnected and what we are is something that still blows my mind. We are force dyads.
I prefer the term soulmates, but Ben tells me like it is. His scholarly nature and the need to know everything for our continual survival tends to bring out the snooty Prince Solo.
He also can’t seem to accept what he has. What he has always longed for. Peace. Peace and a whole lot of stubborn love from yours truly.
This grumpy man, who I call my husband, still doesn’t think he deserves me. Or even deserves this life we both worked so hard to get.
My acts of love sometimes leads him to doubt that he’s still alive. That he’s passed on and living in some self-made afterlife. Which really makes my ego explode because sex with me is apparently that mind-blowing.
But, when he brings this up, I usually threaten to steal his ship so he would have to result in piloting the Falcon. The junk heap that he can’t stand.
“Ben?” I whisper.
He looks down at me and scrunches his eyebrows. “You’re not going to make me drive your ship, are you? I know you’re thinking about it.” Then he smiles.
I smile back. I reach up and stroke his cheek. “We can take your ship back to base. The Falcon still needs repairs anyways.”
Ben lets out a breath and quickens his pace. “There’s a sandstorm brewing. We need to get off this planet before it hits.” He looks down at me again. “I would also like to be laying horizontal on top of you by the time the sun goes down.”
I blush deeply and roll my eyes as I reach down to squeeze his behind.