Chapter Text
He was sitting at his usual spot at the coffee shop, it was a table in one of the corners of the place, right next to a picture window. The barista that worked there had that kind smile that just tells “I love my job” and the coffee was not so bitter nor sweet, perfect for him. The music inside was a blues, they always had blues.
People usually went there to study, so it was as quiet as the university library but with more space since he could have a table all to himself. Maybe that’s why it was his favorite place inside the campus, he was a loner, people usually avoided him, and she always told him that his attitude was the main reason nobody wanted to be around him.
It was true that he only had two friends, and people could debate about the nature of their relationship since they grew together as the adopted children of a man that lived in the outskirts of a small town. He ended up living with him after he lost his sister. Later on, Tanjiro and Nezuko arrived when they ended up being the only survivors of an accident that killed the rest of their family. Urokodaki took the three of them and they grew together.
Since the beginning, he appreciated the company of the two of them. Tanjiro was kind and Nezuko was a sweetheart. But right now, They were the one to blame about his current situation. The two of theme convinced him to let them make a party in their shared apartment when the finally moved to the city so they could enroll at the same university. They were the reason why he met the girl he was waiting for right now.
He looked at the window, searching in the crowds that moved around the campus, trying to see if he could see the peculiar girl. They met at that party, and from then on, she would tease him all the time, she will laugh at his antics, she will warm his chest with her smile. He will listen to her endless talks, he will endure her insufferable banters, he would do anything she asked him.
He was in love with her.
The realization took him by surprise when it happened. One day he was annoyed by her mere presence and the next one his heart was beating furiously inside his chest when he saw her. This was not supposed to happen, before her he had never felt this way. But here he was, waiting for her, craving her presence like a kid who’s waiting for its Christmas presents. Worst of all? He didn’t mind.
Love. It was such a foreign concept when he was a teenager. Even Tanjiro and Nezuko talked to him about their middle school crushes. But he never understood all those feelings they kept talking about. For a second, he thought he will never get to experience all that, then he met her. And now he was swimming in all those sensations he could not understand and all those insecurities he had never had. Until he met her.
—Tomioka, you are here early, as always.— Her voice took him out of his thoughts. He turned around and saw her smiling as she walked towards his table. She was wearing the common white lab coat all med students wore. Her black and violet hair was held by her signature butterfly hairpin. She sat on the chair in front of him as she put a couple of books on the table. He didn’t say anything. He never did anyway. She was the one who will start their conversations.
— I have an immunology exam on Monday. I went to the library to take this out. Can you believe there was only two copies left? The library record said they had 30!
— Your class have like 40 students. It’s normal.
— It’s not that normal when you are the first one to leave in order to get the books.—She said as she took her lab coat out as she settled comfortably in the chair.— What about you, Tomioka? How are your classes going?
— Fine.
— Always so talkative!— The woman said with a small laugh that ignited a thousand butterflies on his stomach.— You know that friendship is a two sided thing, right?— That talk was common between them, she will try to get more than a few sentences out of him. Sometimes she succeeded, sometimes he got away with simple answers. He will never tell her but liked that dynamic.
— Nothing out of the ordinary happened today.—Shinobu just let out a long sight and called for the waitress so she could order a cup of coffee. She opened one of her books and started reading it as well as taking notes.
They sat in silence for a couple of hours, only the blues in the coffee shop keeping them company. He was also reading a book for his Trial advocacy class. From time to time he will steal glances at her. With the shield that the books provided, he had the confidence to do it for prolonged periods of time. She was extremely beautiful to him: her purple eyes, her pale skin, her black and purple hair that framed her face, that annoying fake smile, that breathtaking honest one.
— Tomioka… Yesterday Kanao told us that Tanjiro invited her out. On a date.— She said out of the blue. Tomioka put his book down and looked at her. His eyes opened wide.— Did you knew?
— No.
— Your best friend is interested in one of my sisters and you didn’t knew?
— I knew he had a crush on someone.— He answered, he knew that the boy had a crush, Tanjiro was open about his feelings, but he never said to him who was the one he was interested in. He guessed that Nezuko knew more about all that, but he also never asked her. — He told me a few months ago. But he never told me the name of the person.
— So you and Tanjiro do talk about love!— The girl almost screamed, some people next to them turned their heads to see who was the one who caused the disturbance in the place. Shinobu noticed it and lowered her voice. — I didn’t know that you have that part in you, Tomioka. What else do you know about this situation? Did you knew when he invited us to your party a year ago?
— No, when he made the party he wanted to get to know more people from around here, we just moved in. He invited everyone in his class. You were not in his class?
— No… Kanao told Kanae and Kanae told me to go with her… You know… big sister duties.
— So you were not supposed to be there?— Giyu asked curious about it, surprisingly so, they never talked about the party and sometimes he even forgot that’s where they met.
—Well, Tomioka, there was a lot of people there who weren’t supposed to be and you know that I also don’t like going to parties.— She said with a small smile.— I’m glad though. I met great people there. Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu, Inosuke…
—I will beg to differ with Inosuke…— The man said with a small smile, the girl opened her eyes in surprise.
— And you do smile…
— You have seen me smile before.
— But not with such a playful tone, this is development, Tomioka.— She said again as she quickly put her books inside her backpack.— Now I’m intrigued…— She talked again as she put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on the back of her hands.
— Intrigued about what?— He asked defensively. He felt his heart beating faster. He needed to calm his nerves around her. His mind warned him that she could ask about his love life and he would eventually had to lie to her. And he didn’t want that.
—About you, Tomioka, I am starting to think that maybe you can help me with something…— She said again, her smile slowly disappearing. He felt her hand reach his. Her purple eyes looking directly to him. His heart was beating violently inside his ribcage.
—What?
— It’s something that’s been taking my thoughts for quite sometime now. Its nothing bad, but its exhausting me…— He heard the despair on her voice and suddenly something in him snapped. He knew he was a protective person but when he saw her hopeless expression he wanted to help her, desperately. He wanted to ease her mind, what ever she asked for he will do it. No matter what.
— What?— He asked again, trying to not sound eager, but the change of his tone was not unnoticed. He was desperate to help her, inside his chest a new desire to protect her began blossoming. All this new sensations he felt around her always overwhelmed him.
— I am in love.— And those few words changed everything. He felt the floor beneath him disappear, an invisible arrow just pierced his chest and left him empty. The sound of the music that was playing at the coffee shop suddenly stopped. His entire being felt numb.
He never even considered that crucial factor of the nature of their relationship. She was beautiful, she was kind, she was intelligent. She was perfect.He was only her friend. He was just some guy she met at a party who was lucky enough to hang around the same place as her at their university campus.
They were just friends.
She was a human being that could develop feelings for someone, just like he developed that love he had for her. His heart was never safe, but feeling it break with just one sentence was something he was not prepared for.
— What?— He said quietly, trying to look unaffected. He was good at pretending, he had to be or else she will know… and he didn’t want her to know. Shinobu just smiled again at his question. A small giggle coming out of her mouth.
— Is that the only word you know now?— That smile he gave him was something he had never seen. She looked sad, that spark in her eyes was gone. His worry grew and the pain inside his chest grew.
— Why do you need my help with that?— He asked, his eyes where on their hands, her touch was the only thing that kept his mind in there and not far away, he wanted to go somewhere where his heart didn’t hurt. He will do anything she asked, and if she asked for his help with that man then she will have it.
— Because for the first time, I don’t know what to do… I like him, like a lot, even since I met him.— She said again, her thumb started caressing his hand and he silently prayed for her to stop. He would be happy with just that small touch, but his heart was devastated, his mind going a mile per minute, he wanted to go back home and never go out of his room ever again. She took a deep breath before she continued talking—And I realized recently that I’m in love with him… but I’m certain that he don’t feel the same.
For the first time in his life, he felt an unreasonable hate towards that man. How can someone be so lucky yet be so idiotic? How can someone not love her? Who on his right mind would not love her back?, he wanted to tell her, he wanted to go and find that man and talk to him until he understood just how lucky he was. But he rarely spoke his mind when his feelings for her where the ones generating his thoughts.
— Have you told him?—He asked looking directly into her eyes. That spark they always had was gone.
—No… I don’t want to, I’m sure he doesn’t see me like that. I’m ok with the relationship we currently have, what if telling him changes everything?— That was exactly what he felt about her, he didn’t want to lose that friendship they had, he feared that their small encounters would end, he was afraid to lose those outings as friends they had from time to time. It would kill him if he got to lose their movie nights.
— I don't know.
—Very helpful Tomioka…—She said with a small smile as she slowly took her hand away from his. Her expression was now completely sad. He could see that the situation was affecting her. He could not allow that, he wanted her happiness, even if his heart was at risk.
—But you will never know if it will change for good or for bad until you tell him…— He was just setting himself up for heart break. But he didn’t care. He wanted her happiness over his.
— You think it will be a change for good if I tell him?— She asked with a small smile.
— I don’t know… — Shinobu let out a long sigh and then a small chuckle. She looked directly at him with the saddest smile he had ever seen in her. He he needed to see her happy, not like this, never like this.— But you need to try.
— But not today. Anyway, yesterday Kanae told me this weird guy came into the clinic and…
She started talking about random things and he kindly listened, he tried to ignore the information she just let out but it was also difficult for him. He was sure she was done talking about it, and he respected that.
— Today its movie night, Tomioka!— She shouted right after an hour of small talk and he smiled. Movie nights were his favorite. Not that she knew. But those quiet times being with her while watching something random they had chosen were perfect for him.
They always went to her place since she usually fell asleep during the movie. The first times they watched them at his apartment he would carry her to his bed and he would sleep on the sofa. Eventually, she offered to always have their “movie nights” at her house. “It would be easier for us and you will not have to sleep uncomfortably because of me” She said when they agreed to that.
Her house was big and it also had a small clinic, she lived with her three sisters. The place had a big living room, where they will sit on her sofa and watch a movie every Friday. They were not dates. He made that clear to everyone who ever asked about it. But secretly he wished they were.
—Giyu Tomioka! Little sis! Welcome home!— Kanae said as soon as they entered the house. Shinobu quickly excused herself and went upstairs. Kanae looked at him with a small smile. She made him nervous but for it was a complete different reason…— I know you are here like every Friday for your dates with Shinobu but I’m always at the clinic. It’s nice to see you from time to time.
— These are not dates. We are only friends.— He was sure Kanae could see through him, through his acting. He was certain that she knew. That’s why he was more straightforward when she was around. If he made a mistake then Shinobu would know. And everything would change. Specially now that he was certain she didn’t feel the same.
— Could have fooled anyone, but not me…— She said with a big smile.— You should tell her that you lo…
— She is coming back.— He quickly said as she heard her footsteps coming down the ladder. His heart was beating rapidly and he could feel his face grow warm. He tried to suppress his feelings but the knowing smile Kanae dedicated to him didn’t help at all.
When Shinobu reached down the stairs Kanae excused herself and went back into the clinic The rest of the night was quiet as always. They both watched a movie they both selected the week before. This was their normal Friday night. He was happy just to be by her side. But that night he felt numb. Will their movie nights will end once she got her new boyfriend? How much will they continue to hang out ? What if that guy didn’t liked that she spent so much time with him?
He was sure that if she decided to confess her feelings, she will get with the man in question. She was way too perfect to not be loved in return. He was heartbroken thinking about that possibility but if she was happy he would live with that. If she remained his friend then it would be just enough.
He felt Shinobu lean on his shoulder, he could hear her breath slow down as she was falling asleep. It was such a common situation for him, yet it still make his heart went to overdrive when she did that. The movie ended and he gently carried her to her room. She was a heavy sleeper, he knew that from the first night they watched a movie together, but he was always careful to not wake her up.
— She is so cute, isn’t she? Her smile is really pretty.— Kanae said as soon as he stepped into the living room again. He gathered his things, ignoring her question.— She is beautiful, isn’t she?.— She asked more boldly this time. She always tease him about his feelings, trying to get more information.— Will you ever confess? Have you ever thought about your future with her?
—Please, stop. We are just friends.— He said again, that last question hurt. He wanted to be her future, but with the information he just received that day he knew that would never happen.
— Did something happened? You have been more defensive than usual. And you have that mopey attitude I’ve never seen in you before.— She stated as she looked at him.
— Nothing happened. Just please stop doing those insinuations… Shinobu and I, we are just friends…