Chapter Text
“Ugh, my stomach hurts.” Do Kyungsoo rubbed his slightly bulging stomach and let his head rest against the car seat. The soothing purr of the car’s engine soothed Kyungsoo and he felt his eyes droop.
“I told you not to eat so many desserts.” Kim Junmyeon, Kyungsoo’s boyfriend, clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Do you want to stop by for medicine?”
Kyungsoo shook his head and replied, “No, my mother is expecting me soon and you know how she gets when I’m over curfew.”
Junmyeon huffed as he navigated through the traffic of the city. Luckily it wasn’t raining so the couple was able to have the windows rolled down and let the evening summer breeze cool them off.
“I don’t know how you can survive in that strict household.”
Kyungsoo shrugged and opened his eyes to look outside at the river while they drove on the highway back to Kyungsoo’s house. “You know how my parents are. They just care a lot, you know?”
The couple rode in silence the rest of the way home.
After 15 minutes, they reached the parking lot of Kyungsoo’s apartment complex and Junmyeon parked.
“You don’t have to walk me up.” Kyungsoo undid his seatbelt. “Actually, my parents would probably prefer it if I go up alone.”
“I know.” Junmyeon undid his own seatbelt and turned his body to face Kyungsoo. “I just wanted to give you a goodnight kiss.”
“Baby…” Kyungsoo blushed. Immediately after he glanced around the parking lot. He lowered his voice and added, “What if someone sees?”
Junmyeon sighed. “Babe, no one is going to see us. Just one quick kiss.”
Kyungsoo bit his lip and nodded. “Okay but only a quick one. Just because you treated me to a nice dinner and I want to thank you.”
Junmyeon didn’t wait a second longer and leaned towards Kyungsoo, cupping his face and kissing him chastly. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and felt his face burn. All he could think about was how his parents would be upset if they saw him kissing his boyfriend.
They were very conservative and insisted that public displays of affections were inappropriate. Never mind the fact that he was gay, that they accepted when he came out in high school, but they were still strict as ever.
When Kyungsoo felt Junmyeon’s hand creep up on his thigh and Junmyeon’s tongue probe his lips, he squeaked in surprise and pulled back.
“What?” Junmyeon asked, clearly upset that Kyungsoo had pulled away so suddenly.
“Y-you know I can’t d-do that.” Kyungsoo looked down at his lap to avoid eye contact.
Junmyeon stared incredulously at his boyfriend of 6 months. “Kyungsoo, it’s just a kiss.”
“That was a different type of kiss.” Kyungsoo answered in a low voice, still avoiding eye contact. Kyungsoo didn’t like the feeling of Junmyeon’s wet tongue on his lips. It felt like a slug trying to enter his mouth.
Junmyeon leaned back into the driver’s seat and took hold of the steering wheel. “I understand. Sorry. I pushed it today.”
In reality, Junmyeon was a little frustrated. Kyungsoo was the most caring, considerate, and adorable person he’d ever met. It was the reason he was attracted to his gentle and loving boyfriend in the first place. His only flaw?
He was a prude.
At first it was cute when Kyungsoo would give Junmyeon small pecks and innocent hugs. It made Junmyeon fall in love with the sweet university student. But at the end of the day Junmyeon still wanted to be intimate with his boyfriend.
It wasn’t that Junmyeon expected full-on sex from Kyungsoo. However, it was annoying that he couldn’t even caress his body or give him passionate kisses. It felt like dating in middle school. It was the first time in his adult life that he had gone that long in a relationship without any form of sexual contact.
Kyungsoo on the other hand also felt frustrated with himself when he couldn’t accept those advances from his own boyfriend. He always pinned it down to his upbringing. His parents’ strict teaching about modesty and chastity were drilled into his head since the beginning. Kyungsoo always heard his parents scolding him whenever Junmyeon pushed the line. He couldn’t get rid of that voice in his head.
But deep down inside, Kyungsoo knew it would be a lie to say that everything boiled down to his parents. Kyungsoo just didn’t feel like taking it there. He was unexcited by Junmyeon’s touches. Sometimes to the point that Kyungsoo wondered if his hormones were broken.
It was hard to tell when he didn’t date throughout high school (too busy studying) and didn’t date throughout university (too busy making friends). Junmyeon was the longest he’d ever dated anyone. And he was only the second person he ever kissed so it was hard for him to tell what he was supposed to feel when you want someone.
Kyungsoo sighed and finally looked up at Junmyeon. He smiled and said, “It’s okay. I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want. If you ever want to break u--”
Junmyeon immediately shook his head when the words started to leave Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Don’t say that. I’m not a scumbag. I’ll wait as long as I have to. Until you’re comfortable.”
Kyungsoo beamed at those words. It pained Junmyeon to say it but he did love Kyungsoo after all. Sex or not.
“You’re the best!” Kyungsoo flung his arms around Junmyeon’s shoulders and gave him pecks all over his face. Junmyeon smiled to himself. Despite the constant blue balls, he wouldn’t trade his boyfriend for anything.
“Go on. Hurry up before you miss your curfew.” Junmyeon pried his loving boyfriend off his face and gently shooed him away.
Kyungsoo pouted and left the car.
Before Kyungsoo could close the door Junmyeon said, “Don’t forget we’re having dinner at my parents’ tomorrow.”
Kyungsoo nodded and said goodbye with a final wave.
As Kyungsoo walked away Junmyeon stared and groaned.
‘ Why are you so tempting, Kyungsoo? Who allowed you to have such a nice ass?”
Junmyeon drove away thinking about what video he should watch to release his pent up frustration.
Park Chanyeol groaned as his best friend, Kyungsoo, spun around and looked at him expectantly.
“Kyungsoo, that one is just as good as the last one. I’m telling you--you look good in anything .”
Kyungsoo chewed on his lip and looked down at his black jeans and his plain, baby blue button up. It was the 3rd outfit he’d modeled for Chanyeol and Chanyeol gave him the same response every time.
“Are you sure? I want to make a good first impression.” Kyungsoo tugged at the tight collar around his neck. He’d buttoned up the shirt all the way and it was suffocating. On most days he preferred a comfy t-shirt with joggers but a family dinner with his boyfriend’s family called for an elevated look.
“Yes, promise.” Chanyeol straightened up in the chair he was sitting in. He looked over Kyungsoo’s immaculate desk and played with the tiny anime figurines lined up as decoration. “How did you convince your parents to let you have dinner at his place?”
Kyungsoo began to unbutton the shirt so he could change into his comfy clothes.
“They know his parents will be there the entire time and they made me promise to make it here before curfew.” Kyungsoo threw his shirt on the bed and quickly pulled on a t-shirt. Chanyeol was the only person who’d ever seen his body up close. He was also the only friend that was allowed in his room without having to leave the door open. Kyungsoo’s parents knew that Kyungsoo would rather kiss a frog than kiss his best friend of 15 years.
“I can’t believe your parents still treat you like a baby.” Chanyeol set down the figurines and sighed. “I honestly thought they’d grow out of it. It sucks not being able to club together. You’d be the best wingman.”
Kyungsoo didn’t say anything. He was used to hearing the same comments about his parents. But he’d gotten over it a long time ago. Kyungsoo was resigned to this way of living. He was just glad his parents didn’t check his phone (that was the only scrap of privacy he really had).
“Well, if I get married to Junmyeon soon then I can move out and we can go clubbing every weekend.” Kyungsoo took off his slacks and put on his sweatpants. He didn’t want to wrinkle his dinner clothes. He still had a couple of hours to go before Junmyeon came to pick him up.
“Marry?” Chanyeol’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
Kyungsoo shrugged, sat down on his bed and looked at his friend with a small smile. “We love each other. Who knows? We could get married soon.”
Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo for a few seconds and then laughed. “Everyone our age just wants to go out and party and you’re thinking of marriage. You really are one of a kind.”
“I just want to be normal. And if I have to marry someone to be able to stay out past 11pm then I will.” Kyungsoo crossed his arms and nodded to himself.
Chanyeol’s eyebrows scrunched up and he shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. Marriage is serious, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo flopped down onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. “It just sucks. I want to do things too.”
Chanyeol stood up and lied down on the small bed next to his friend. They both stared at the ceiling in silence.
“You know, you could just...break the rules. Everyone disappoints their parents. You’re going to disappoint them sooner or later. You might as well get it out of the way.”
Kyungsoo shuddered at the thought of defying his parents. They would surely lecture him and maybe even take away his phone.
No way. Kyungsoo could never break the rules.
Kyungsoo wiped his sweaty palms on the front of his pants and took a deep breath.
“Relax. My parents already love you.” Junmyeon kissed Kyungsoo’s forehead.
Kyungsoo watched the gates open and Junmyeon drove up the driveway of the house. Kyungsoo knew his boyfriend’s family was well-off but he didn’t expect that he’d live in a house with its personal gates, closed off from the rest of the world. It was a novelty for people to live in anything but an apartment complex in the city. Apparently the Kims had more money than Kyungsoo thought.
Junmyeon turned off his car. He looked at Kyungsoo and said, “Just be yourself and if you want to leave early let me know. My parents are nice but they can be a bit much sometimes.”
Kyungsoo nodded and they left the parked car, walking up to the front door. Kyungsoo felt a mixture of excitement and dread. He really cared about Junmyeon and he didn’t want to make a bad impression on his family.
When the housekeeper opened the door, Kyungsoo felt his palms get sweaty again. He hoped he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. The housekeeper led them to the living room where Junmyeon’s parents were waiting.
“Kyungsoo!” An elegant-looking woman stood up as soon as the couple entered the living room and she approached Kyungsoo with a huge smile and open arms. Her hair was huge and she was wearing what Kyungsoo assumed to be designer clothes. An obnoxiously large string of pearls rested around her neck and when she embraced Kyungsoo, he could smell a strong perfume that made him want to sneeze. Kyungsoo felt himself go stiff when the woman hugged him.
A tall man with tan skin and broad shoulders followed behind the petite woman with a small smile. He nodded cordially at Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo smiled back, still in the woman’s embrace. He much preferred the man’s greeting to the woman.
The woman finally pulled back and cooed at Kyungsoo, pinching his left cheek. “You are just as adorable as Junmyeon told us you’d be. I’m Junmyeon’s mother and this is his father. You can call us mom and dad.”
Kyungsoo nodded.
“Where’s Jongin?” Junmyeon asked.
Kyungsoo looked around the living room and noticed it was just the 4 of them in the living room. Junmyeon’s younger brother, who Junmyeon always talked about, wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Kyungsoo wondered if Jongin looked like Junmyeon. Junmyeon obviously took after his mother with paler skin and kind eyes.
“He’s studying for an exam tomorrow.” Junmyeon’s father finally spoke up. He apologized to Kyungsoo. “I’m sorry that you won’t be able to meet our other son tonight. Jongin usually joins us for our family dinners but as you probably know, he’s a university student like you so he’s been busy these days.”
Kyungsoo replied, “That’s okay. I hope I can meet him some other time.”
Junmyeon’s mother said, “We would love that. Our Jongin is in his second year of university so he could use the guidance of a senior like you. Junmyeon is always so busy with work that he never helps his brother.”
“Mom!” Junmyeon groaned. Kyungsoo giggled. He felt less tense than he had before. Junmyeon’s parents were very welcoming and before he knew it, they were all sitting at the dinner table, chatting about Junmyeon’s embarrassing high school moments while Junmyeon tried to stop his mom from exposing him.
Kyungsoo didn’t notice how fast the time went as Junmyeon’s parents kept asking him about university life, his parents, and his friends.
Dinner was delicious as well but Kyungsoo ate so many desserts he felt his teeth ache. He gulped down water to help the queasy feeling in his stomach. In turn he felt like his bladder was going to explode.
“I’m sorry, where is the bathroom?” Kyungsoo asked, tapping his foot as he felt like he was going to burst.
“Mrs. Choi!” Mrs. Kim called out for the housekeeper. Mrs. Choi, the housekeeper, came into the dining room and Mrs. Kim said, “Can you please help this young man to the bathroom?”
“Of course, Mrs. Kim.”
Kyungsoo followed the housekeeper through the large house and he was glad Mrs. Choi was there to take him the whole way or he would have gotten lost. He wondered how he would find his way through the house if he had to use the bathroom during the night when all the lights were off.
Kyungsoo was sure he’d pee himself when they reached the bathroom. Before Mrs. Choi could ask Kyungsoo if he wanted her to stay, he ran inside the bathroom and slammed the door. Mrs. Choi clicked her tongue and said to herself, “Kids these days...so rude.”
She walked away, letting Kyungsoo tend to his business and Kyungsoo relieved himself. Kyungsoo promised himself he would never hold it in for that long ever again. What a mortifying situation it would have been to have peed himself in front of Junmyeon’s parents.
Kyungsoo finished up and washed his hands, humming happily. He knew that Junmyeon’s parents were nice but they were much better than he thought they would be. Kyungsoo looked around the large bathroom and wondered to himself, ‘If you marry into this family you’ll have a house just like this. ’
Junmyeon was training under his father to help run the family business so Kyungsoo knew that one day, the house would probably belong to Junmyeon. Kyungsoo imagined himself having dinners with his own family in the dining room and lounging around the living room on lazy Sunday evenings.
He thought, ‘ Tsk, and Chanyeol told me I was crazy for even thinking about marriage. I’d rather live in this nice house and have total freedom than be chained up with my parents for the rest of my 20’s.’
When Kyungsoo left the bathroom, he encountered his first problem. He didn’t know how to make his way back to the dining room.
“Fudge…” He muttered under his breath as he slowly began to walk down the hall. He scratched his head and tried to retrace his steps.
After 5 minutes of wandering around the halls and feeling utterly lost, Kyungsoo began to panic. Junmyeon was going to begin to wonder where he was and he would feel mortified to admit that he got lost.
He began to walk faster, to try to find his way back but he just felt more lost as the hallways all looked the same to him.
‘Ugh, I take it back. I don’t want to live in this huge house. Why do rich people like to live in these maze houses? ’
Kyungsoo sped up and felt his heart beat faster as he realized he’d probably have to call out for help like a lost child in a supermarket. Lost in his thought he didn’t notice the approaching figure.
He crashed into the person with an oof and stumbled backwards almost falling on his ass but a hand reached out for his wrist and helped him regain his footing.
“I’m so sorry!” Kyungsoo squeaked. He felt his face heat up, embarrassed.
“Kyungsoo?”
Kyungsoo realized he had bumped into the only member of the Kim household that he hadn’t met yet. He definitely looked more like Mr. Kim than Junmyeon and Mrs. Kim. He was taller than Junmyeon and he had broad shoulders like Mr. Kim. If Kyungsoo didn’t know better, he wouldn’t have guessed that he was related to Junmyeon. He was just as attractive as the rest of the Kim family though--that much Kyungsoo could say.
“O-oh. Are you Jongin?” Kyungsoo licked his lips. His mouth had suddenly gone dry. Jongin, unlike his family members in the dining room, was wearing a tank top and a pair of basketball shorts. His hair wasn’t neatly styled or gelled up like Junmyeon; it was a little bit messy as if he’d just woken up.
“Yeah. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jongin smiled, his eyes pulling up into crescents. Jongin’s lips were fuller than Junmyeon.
Kyungsoo suddenly noticed the hand wrapped around his wrist and he felt a strange flutter in the pit of his abdomen. The type of flutter that was completely inappropriate for someone with a boyfriend.
“Junmyeon talks about you all the time.” Kyungsoo managed to croak. Why was his mouth so dry?
“Oh, yeah?” Jongin cocked an eyebrow. “He talks about you too. Said you’re cute.”
“Oh?” Kyungsoo felt his face warm up again. He wished his body would stop betraying his inner thoughts. He liked the way Jongin said “cute.”
Jongin stepped a little closer and his eyes trailed over Kyungsoo’s body until they reached his face. Jongin wet his lips with his tongue and Kyungsoo stared at Jongin’s mouth. Kyungsoo felt himself developing goosebumps all over his arms.
“He was right.” Jongin said. He looked down at Kyungsoo’s shirt. He let go of Kyungsoo’s wrist but reached toward Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo didn’t even flinch and anticipated feeling his fingers on his skin.
Jongin undid the top button of Kyungsoo’s shirt. He stepped back and as if breaking a trance, he said, “It looked like you couldn’t breathe.”
Kyungsoo did indeed realize he’d been holding his breath. He laughed nervously.
“I got lost…” He admitted sheepishly. Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo’s wrist again.
He said, “I’ll take you back to the dining room.”
Kyungsoo liked the feeling of Jongin’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. His hands were soft and he wondered what those fingers would feel like on his face. Kyungsoo shook his head to try to get rid of the thoughts.
They arrived at the dining room and Mrs. Kim’s eyes widened when she saw Jongin.
“Jongin!” She exclaimed. “I’m so sorry, Kyungsoo. He usually isn’t dressed like this. He has manners.”
Junmyeon eyed Jongin’s hand around Kyungsoo’s wrist, which Jongin noticed and promptly let go, but he maintained a small smile. “I’m glad you too could meet.”
Mr. Kim seemed less offended by Jongin’s attire and said, “Junmyeon was just telling us that you get really great marks in your classes.”
Kyungsoo looked at Junmyeon and then back at Mr. Kim. “I could do better…”
“Don’t be so humble, dear.” Mrs. Kim motioned for Jongin and Kyungsoo to sit down. “Jongin is also studying the arts. Did you tell him?”
Junmyeon shrugged. “Kyungsoo specialized in music, mom. Not dancing.”
“You dance?” Kyungsoo asked as he sat down at the dinner table. Jongin sat down next to him. Junmyeon immediately reached over to hold Kyungsoo’s hand as if he was protecting him. Kyungsoo felt a bit annoyed by this.
“A little.” Jongin replied, reaching for the wine that was set on the table. He served himself a copious amount in a wine glass. Mrs. Kim glared at her son but she didn’t say anything.
Kyungsoo admired the way that the muscles in Jongin’s arm flexed. It made sense that he was a dancer. He had a great body. It was slightly toned.
“A little?” Mrs. Kim looked offended. “Look at the 2 of you, being so humble. Jongin has a full scholarship to study dance. He was in the top of his class at his performing arts high school.”
“Yeah, but he can’t sing for his life.” Junmyeon snickered. Kyungsoo was a little shocked by Junmyeon’s comment. It seemed a little childish. Jongin rolled his eyes and sipped the wine.
“You can’t either.” Jongin replied after he set down the wine glass.
“Boys…” Mrs. Kim warned. Mr. Kim just chuckled to himself. “Don’t mind them. They just like to give me headaches.”
“Kyungsoo has a wonderful singing voice.” Mr. Kim said. “Or so I’ve heard.”
Kyungsoo looked down at the table and shook his head. “Not at all. I’m still learning.”
“He’s lying.” Junmyeon looked over lovingly at his boyfriend. “He’s the top student in all his performance classes. I’ve gone to his recitals before.”
Kyungsoo gently punched his boyfriend’s shoulder, “Stop, you’re embarrassing me. I’m really not that good.”
“We’d love to go to your recitals one day. Right?” Mrs. Kim asked the family. They all murmured in agreement. “Jongin could learn a thing or two from you. He’s a great dancer but he has horrible marks in his music theory classes.”
“Mom,” Jongin looked flustered for the first time. He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling shyly.
Mr. Kim added, “It’s because he spends too much time in the dance studio and so little time studying for his exams. I’ve told him to get some tips from his brother but he never listens.”
Kyungsoo could tell the parents were only gently scolding Jongin. It felt very much unlike how his parents scolded him when they were disappointed. Kyungsoo wondered how it would feel if his parents scolded him like that. He’d probably feel more inclined to talk to them.
“It’s because Junmyeon studied business. It’s completely different.” Jongin said, defending himself. “Right, Kyungsoo?”
Kyungsoo liked how his name sounded coming out of Jongin’s mouth. Kyungsoo didn’t get a chance to answer because Junmyeon answered instead.
“It’s because you’re lazy. It’s all about study habits.” Junmyeon joined in on the scolding.
Jongins stuck his tongue out at Junmyeon. Junmyeon stuck his tongue out as well. Kyungsoo wondered if Junmyeon was actually 3 years older than his brother or 3 years younger. Either way Kyungsoo found it endearing how the brothers were jokingly arguing with each other.
“Music theory is a little hard.” Kyungsoo admitted, addressing Mrs. Kim. “I had to study a lot to pass with an A. I think it's okay if Jongin struggles a little. Everyone in my class had a hard time.”
“If only Jongin got an A.” Junmyeon snorted. “He failed his last music theory class.”
Jongin seemed unbothered by Junmyeon’s comment and continued to sip his wine while he looked at Kyungsoo with indecipherable eyes. Kyungsoo wanted to maintain eye contact with Jongin but he felt his stomach do flips whenever he looked over at him. He wasn’t sure if it was the arms or the full lips or the cat-like eyes.
“You know, if you could tutor our Jongin so he could pass his music theory class we would be so grateful. I don’t know if there’s much you can do in this last month of classes but if Jongin has to retake that music theory class one more time, his advisors won’t be very happy.” Mrs. Kim said. “We’d pay you, of course. Junmyeon speaks so highly of you that I can’t imagine who else would be better suited.”
“I-I’d have to ask my parents. They’re very strict about my curfew.” Kyungsoo said. He didn’t want to admit that the thought of sitting side-by-side with Jongin as he tutored him made him feel a little hot.
“Of course, of course.” Mrs. Kim said. “We could talk to them.”
“Sounds great.” Junmyeon answered for Kyungsoo. “But we have to go. Kyungsoo needs to be home soon.”
“Already?” Jongin said. Kyungsoo’s eyes connected with Jongin’s first the hundredth time that night. Jongin was staring intensely, the mouth of the wine glass resting on his bottom lip. Junmyeon didn’t notice as he was trying to convince his mother not to let Kyungsoo take home all the desserts.
“We’d love to have you again soon.” Mr. Kim was the first to stand up and extend his hand to give Kyungsoo a handshake. Kyungsoo shook Mr. Kim’s hand and Mrs. Kim came around the table to give Kyungsoo a goodbye hug.
Kyungsoo was a little disappointed that Jongin didn’t stand up to say goodbye but he could feel Jongin’s eyes on his back as he walked towards the front door. Junmyeon convinced his parents to let them leave (Mrs. Kim kept trying to give Kyungsoo more hugs and compliments) and the couple was out the door.
On the ride back home, Kyungsoo said, “That was nice. I like your family a lot.”
Junmyeon replied, “See? I told you it wouldn’t be so scary.”
Kyungsoo thought about Jongin. He wondered why Junmyeon hadn’t told him that Jongin was a dancer. He supposed that maybe Junmyeon didn’t think it was relevant. Either way, Kyungsoo was grateful that he was able to meet Jongin.
“By the way, don’t feel pressured to tutor Jongin. He’s an idiot.” Junmyeon said unexpectedly. “I love him but he spends too much time fooling around instead of studying.”
“He seems nice. A little immature but nice.” Kyungsoo tried to keep his comments as neutral as possible. It wasn’t like he could say ‘ I think your brother is hot.’
“He’s more than a little immature.” Junmyeon said. “Don’t get me wrong, he is a great dancer but he’s very hot headed and stubborn when it comes to his studies. Doesn’t like to admit he’s wrong and he ticks off professors all the time.”
Kyungsoo knew what type of student Jongin was based on that description. He’d had those classmates before. They were very passionate about their art, so much so that they had a hard time accepting criticism. They were also usually the geniuses of the class.
Kyungsoo still wanted to see Jongin dance. If he was on a full scholarship, despite having as much money as the Kims obviously did, then that probably meant the school really wanted him to join the program. He couldn’t imagine Junmyeon dancing. Junmyeon was all business. He always listened politely when Kyungsoo rambled on about his performance classes and he supported Kyungsoo’s performances but Kyungsoo could tell he didn’t fully understand.
Junmyeon dropped Kyungsoo off instead of parking. They exchanged a short kiss before Kyungsoo went inside his apartment complex and rode the elevator up to his floor. Kyungsoo mindlessly greeted his parents and went to his room immediately.
He spent the rest of the night watching dance videos and fantasizing about what Jongin would look like performing different songs.
Kyungsoo built up the courage to ask his parents if he could tutor Jongin. His mother was skeptical at first but Kyungsoo’s father was surprisingly supportive. It probably had to do with the fact that Kyungsoo explained that the Kims had offered to pay him for the tutoring. HIs father was especially supportive when he found out how much the Kims would pay him for each hour of tutoring.
Junmyeon helped Kyungsoo get in contact with Mrs. Kim and he warned Kyungsoo that Jongin was a difficult student but he didn’t say anything else. In fact, he commented that hopefully Kyungsoo’s parents would see that his family really liked Kyungsoo and they should allow him to come over for family dinners more often. Junmyeon reasoned that if Jongin made a good impression, they might finally allow Junmyeon to spend more time at Kyungsoo’s place. He thought of it as an infiltration mission.
“I thought you said Jongin was difficult.” Kyungsoo had said.
“He’s a difficult student but he’s got manners. My mother would kill him if he went around disrespecting elders. Us Kims have got a reputation, you see.” Junmyeon had answered.
Kyungsoo’s house was the midpoint between Jongin’s university and the Kims’ house so everyone agreed to let Jongin take his tutoring sessions at Kyungsoo’s place. Kyungsoo’s mother reminded Kyungsoo that he needed to leave the bedroom door open during the tutoring sessions. Kyungsoo didn’t expect anything else.
When the first day of tutoring came around, Kyungsoo cleaned his room over and over again. He couldn’t stop arranging and rearranging his writing utensils or fluffing his pillows. He didn’t want Jongin to think that he was a pig. In the middle of refluffing his pillows, he heard his mother greet someone at the door.
Kyungsoo looked down at his phone. Jongin hadn’t messaged him that he was on the way already and he was early. Kyungsoo decided to wait in his room for Jongin. Soon after, Jongin appeared in the doorway with his backpack slung around his shoulder.
He was dressed differently than the last time Kyungsoo had seen him 2 weeks ago. He had on a plain, white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and denim jeans. It was a stark difference from his older brother who usually wore business casual attire or suits. Understandably so as Junmyeon was a whole adult working at an office meanwhile Jongin was a university student.
“Hey, sorry I’m early. There wasn’t that much traffic.” Jongin said. He placed his backpack on the floor and sat down on Kyungsoo’s bed comfortably. He didn’t even ask if he could sit. Kyungsoo didn’t mind but he was taken back at how easily he’d settled in.
“Y-yeah. That’s fine.” Kyungsoo awkwardly stood in the middle of his tiny room. He didn’t know whether to sit next to Jongin or to stay standing.
“Why are you being so shy? We’re practically family.” Jongin said patting the spot next to him on the bed. Kyungsoo noticed Jongin was awfully direct. More so than his brother.
“Well, I thought we’d study at the desk.” Kyungsoo pointed at the two chairs he’d set up at his desk. He didn’t know how he’d feel sitting next to Jongin on a bed. His entire body would go up in flames.
Jongin shrugged and stood up. “Whatever you say, teacher.”
Jongin took a seat at the desk and Kyungsoo sat down next to him. Kyungsoo made a conscious effort to control his breathing so he wouldn’t freak out about how close Jongin was to him. Their thighs weren’t touching but Kyungsoo knew if he moved even a centimeter, their knees would touch. Jongin watched Kyungsoo as Kyungsoo grabbed blank sheets of paper and a pen.
“So, let’s just talk about what you think you need to work on and some basics. Then we could work on any assignments you have right now.” Kyungsoo checked to see if the pen was working on the sheet of paper.
“Why are you dating my brother?” Jongin asked.
Kyungsoo’s hand froze. He did not expect that question.
“What?” He stared at Jongin, wide-eyed. Jongin looked very nonchalant, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.
“Just. I’m curious. I want to get to know my brother-in-law.”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how to respond. “Um...Junmyeon is a very good person.”
It felt awkward to talk about his love life with his boyfriend’s brother.
“Cool.” Jongin said. “Well, let’s start?”
Kyungsoo was amazed at how casual Jongin was about the whole thing. It was hard for him to get back on track but he cleared his throat and began to ask Jongin questions about his music theory classes. Occasionally, his mother would not-so-subtly walk by the room to observe them.
The rest of the lesson went by quickly and Kyungsoo soon realized that Jongin knew more than he led on. But as Junmyeon had said, he was a bit lazy. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin probably needed more than the 2 days of tutoring he would give him a week. Jongin needed a whole course about organizing his notes and annotating readings but it wasn’t Kyungsoo’s place to say so.
By the end of the 2 hours, Jongin was yawning and stretching like a lazy cat. Kyungsoo ended the lesson by leaving Jongin a small, extra assignment to help him practice some of the things they’d reviewed together.
“You’re actually better at explaining things than my professor.” Jongin commented as he was picking up his backpack off the floor.
“Really? And that’s why you were yawning the whole time?” Kyungsoo said. He slapped his hand over his own mouth as he realized what he’d said.
Jongin paused for a second then laughed. “You’re funny.”
“I’m sorry!” Kyungsoo said feeling embarrassed and rude.
“No, you’re right. I stayed up late last night at the dance studio. I’ll sleep earlier next time so I can focus more.” Jongin also looked a little embarrassed so Kyungsoo felt better. He was relieved Jongin hadn’t gotten upset.
“You did well. Just make sure you review over our notes and if you have any questions let me know.” Kyungsoo didn’t feel as awkward as he did at the beginning of the lesson. Jongin was less intimidating than he appeared to be. After the 2 hours they’d spent together, Kyungsoo would categorize Jongin as a kitten. Prone to napping--he kept nodding off during the lesson--and somewhat playful--he wouldn’t stop touching Kyungsoo’s figurines.
“Yes, teacher.” Jongin lifted his hand to his forehead as if he were a military officer and he dropped it when Kyungsoo laughed.
Kyungsoo walked Jongin to the door and smiled to himself as he watched Jongin take the elevator down to the parking lot.
The question Jongin had asked earlier crept into his mind: ‘ Why are you dating my brother? ’
Jongin needed to stop invading his mind.
“Chanyeol, what do you feel when you see a hot girl?”
Chanyeol peered up from his laptop at Kyungsoo who looked deep in thought with a pen hanging from his mouth.
“Um...I don’t know. Just...happy? Attracted?” Chanyeol was taken aback by the random question in the middle of their studying.
“But do you feel horny?” Kyungsoo asked very seriously.
Chanyeol coughed and he looked around the public, bustling cafe. There were people sitting at nearby tables engaged in their own homework and conversations. “Why are you asking me this so randomly...in public?”
“You know my mom can hear through walls. Where else am I supposed to ask?” Kyungsoo huffed cutely. Chanyeol could almost coo at Kyungsoo's pouting face. Almost.
“Through text?” Chanyeol tried to focus on his laptop screen again but Kyungsoo interrupted his thoughts completely ignoring Chanyeol.
“Well? Can you answer?” Kyungsoo pushed Chanyeol’s laptop screen shut so Chanyeol would pay attention to him.
Chanyeol sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He knew Kyungsoo would be stubborn about it and keep bothering him if he didn’t answer.
“Not necessarily. Depends. If it’s someone really really hot then maybe. But I’m not in middle school anymore. I don’t just get horny when I see someone.” Chanyeol tilted his head and thought briefly before continuing, “But if I’m drunk then frankly, anyone or anything turns me on.”
“Do you feel butterflies in your stomach?” Kyungsoo asked innocently.
Chanyeol snorted. Sometimes Kyungsoo was too naive. “No, I feel butterflies in my dick.”
“Really?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. He’d never felt that before.
“No, silly.” Chanyeol shook his head. He should’ve known better than to be so literal with Kyungsoo of all people. “It’s the feeling you get in the pit of your abdomen. It’s kind of tingly. Feels like all the blood in my body is...well, you know...it’s going down there--again, why are you asking me this?”
Kyungsoo thought back to the night he met Jongin. That unfamiliar tingle in his abdomen that felt like... all the blood was going there .
“Nothing…” Kyungsoo said slowly and unconvincingly.
Chanyeol was curious but he knew better than to press Kyungsoo for details. Kyungsoo would come around and tell him when he wanted to. Before Chanyeol could open up his laptop Kyungsoo began to talk again.
“What do you think of Junmyeon?”
Chanyeol was taken back again.
“Junmyeon? Um, I suppose he’s great. He treats you well, respects you, understands your parents are strict. Not many guys like that out there. Trust me. Us heterosexuals are garbage so you’re very lucky to have someone like him. Most guys are shitheads and get mad when you don’t put out quick so it’s cool that he doesn’t pressure you.”
“I see.” Kyungsoo said flipping through his textbook. Chanyeol took that as a cue to open his laptop and begin to work again.
Kyungsoo pondered Chanyeol’s words. That he was lucky to have Junmyeon. He was lucky but he still felt a little guilty that he didn’t feel particularly privileged to be with Junmyeon. Junmyeon who was rich, kind, gentlemanly, and mature.
‘ What’s wrong with me ?’ Kyungsoo thought.
During the last week of classes of the semester before final exams, Kyungsoo’s house felt like an oven. His mother had some fans throughout the house but it was almost of no use. It was an unusually hot week and Kyungsoo could barely sleep without tossing and turning.
He texted Jongin that they should study at a local library instead but Jongin insisted on coming to Kyungsoo’s place. Kyungsoo was sure that Jongin didn’t understand how hot it was. The Kims probably had air conditioners throughout their entire house.
Kyungsoo’s mom set up two fans in Kyungsoo’s room and set off to make cold drinks for the study session. Kyungsoo’s made had taken up a liking for Jongin. She was nicer to him than she was to Kyungsoo’s other friends. Chanyeol was still her favorite but Jongin was damn near close.
Kyungsoo knew it was because Jongin was not only extremely polite to her but he was awfully attractive. Despite his mother’s generally cold demeanor, she wasn’t immune to pretty boys. She would bring them snacks during their study sessions and she would smile at Jongin. She barely smiled.
She even let Kyungsoo close the door half the way while they were studying. And she had only known Jongin for 3 weeks.
Jongin arrived right on time and he could hear him greeting his mother. He could also hear her faint giggles and Kyungsoo wanted to gag. It was so foreign to him to hear his mother laugh. Jongin was that good.
Jongin came into Kyungsoo’s room and Kyungsoo could see the perspiration building at his forehead.
“Told you it was hot.” Kyungsoo said, fanning himself with a random folder from the shelves above his desk. Jongin closed the door behind him and Kyungsoo started to protest but Jongin stopped him.
“This is fine. Your mom said it was okay.” Jongin set down his backpack and fanned himself. “Fuck, it’s hot.”
Kyungsoo hushed him. “Don’t curse.”
Jongin rolled his eyes. “Sorry, teacher.”
“I’m going to punish you if you curse again.” Kyungsoo teased. He remembered his high school days when his peers would get punished for cursing or arriving late to class. The teacher would make them stand outside, facing the wall. He smiled to himself imagining Jongin standing doing the same.
Jongin quirked an eyebrow. He looked like he wanted to say something but Kyungsoo’s mother barged through the door with a tray of freshly cut fruits and two ice cold glasses of lemonade.
“I brought this so you can both stay cool. If you need anything else I’ll be in the kitchen cleaning up.” She kept her eyes on Jongin the entire time and Kyungsoo cringed. His mother was being so obvious with her admiration. Jongin smiled and nodded, taking the tray from her hands.
“Thank you so much.”
Kyungsoo’s mom left the room, closing the door on her way out.
“She never does that,” muttered Kyungsoo.
“What? Cut up fruit?” Jongin asked as he set down the tray on the desk.
“No, she doesn’t let me close the door. She only lets me do that when Chanyeol is over.” Kyungsoo said.
“Chanyeol?” Jongin asked. His face was unreadable but Kyungsoo thought he saw a trace of jealousy. Jongin’s lips twitched as if he was resisting to frown.
“My best friend of 15 years. The straightest man I know.” Kyungsoo didn’t know why he added the “straight” part. It wasn’t relevant in any way but it was as if he wanted to let Jongin know Chanyeol wasn’t anything romantic to him. As if it would make any difference. As if he wasn’t dating his brother.
“Oh.”
Kyungsoo saw Jongin’s shoulders relax. Jongin sat down next to Kyungsoo per usual and they ate the fruits in silence. It was their 2nd to last lesson. Jongin was taking his music theory final the following week.
“You’d probably get along with him.” Kyungsoo said. “Chanyeol is a lot of fun and he goes clubbing all the time. You could probably be his wingman. Watch football. I don’t know. Stuff straight guys do.”
Kyungsoo held his breath as he waited for Jongin to take the bait and answer.
“Straight guys?”
Bingo .
“Y-yeah?” Kyungsoo held back his smile. It was the first time he’d ever faked his stutter. He feigned innocence with his eyebrows furrowed as if he was confused.
Jongin laughed.
“What?” Kyungsoo continued to fake that he wasn’t aware of what he was implying.
“Uh, well, I’m not straight.” Jongin said. He grabbed a peach off the plate and took a bite. He chewed and also Kyungsoo could think about how happy he was to hear that. He was so giddy that he could clap.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo cleared his throat and took a small sip of the cold lemonade.
“It’s okay. I probably do give off that impression. I do dress like a straight man in crisis.” Jongin tried to make a joke and Kyungsoo just snorted.
“It’s nice to know. Most of my friends are straight so it’s kind of hard to relate to each other sometimes.” Kyungsoo drank some more lemonade. “I’m happy to hear you’re not straight.”
Jongin ignored his own cup of lemonade and picked up another piece of fruit.
“I wouldn’t mind going out with your friend. Even though he’s straight we could pick up girls together or whatever.” Jongin added.
“Ah.” Kyungsoo nodded his head in realization of what Jongin was implying.
“What I’m trying to say,” Jongin began, “is that there’s a lot of people in this world and a lot of them look really good so why limit myself?”
Kyungsoo hummed in understanding. Even though he was really only attracted to men, he could see where Jongin was coming from.
They began their study session shortly after but Kyungsoo could barely concentrate as he was thinking about their conversation from earlier. He’d found out what he wanted to know. Except he couldn’t explain to himself why he cared to know.
Jongin scooched in closer to look down at Kyungsoo handwritten notes. Their knees touched and Kyungsoo felt himself blush. Jongin wrote down some of his own notes then leaned back in his chair and groaned.
“It’s burning up in here.” Jongin stood up. Kyungsoo looked at him quizzically. Jongin lifted his shirt over his head and Kyungsoo sucked in his breath. Jongin was wearing a tank top underneath, much like the one that he was wearing the first time they met. His body was slightly glistening because of the sweat.
Kyungsoo felt it again. Those annoying butterflies in his abdomen. It wasn't the type of butterflies he felt when he first met Junmyeon. Those were the ones that swirled around in his stomach and made him feel happy whenever his boyfriend would compliment him. It was the butterflies that started in his abdomen and travelled dangerously low. The ones that he felt when he accidentally stumbled across porn for the first time as a high schooler.
Kyungsoo lowered his gaze and tried to scribble down anything to look distracted.
Jongin threw his tank top on the bed and sat down again. Jongin’s arm pressed against Kyungsoo’s as he wrote furiously. He was trying his hardest not to look over at Jongin’s shoulders, arms, biceps--anything.
“This doesn’t make any sense.” Jongin got closer, pointing at something Kyungsoo had written down. It was true. Kyungsoo just wrote down some nonsense.
“Sorry, I think I need something to drink. I’m feeling a little dehydrated” Kyungsoo said. “Can I have some of your lemonade?”
Jongin nodded and Kyungsoo gulped down all of the lemonade.
Jongin pouted and said, “Hey, you said some .”
Kyungsoo replied, “That’s your punishment for cursing earlier.”
Jongin didn’t say anything so Kyungsoo tried to refocus. He took a deep breath and tried to begin where he had left off.
“Okay, so you see how these first notes are the same ones as the first notes on this other song well, if you look at...hey.” Kyungsoo noticed that Jongin wasn’t looking down at the paper where he was pointing out the notes on his haphazardly drawn musical notations. Jongin was staring directly at his face. “Concentrate.”
“I am.” Jongin answered simply. Kyungsoo’s heart beat fast.
He was suddenly hyper-aware of how Jongin’s knee was touching his, how their shoulders were also touching, and how his face was extremely close. If Jongin could feel his pulse racing, he would definitely know how affected he felt by Jongin’s presence.
It was a total override of all rationality. The way Jongin’s body glistened, the smell of peaches on his breath, and his eyes trained on his face like he was expecting Kyungsoo to lean in closer.
So he did.
Kyungsoo leaned in closer. Jongin did too.
Their faces were so close that Kyungsoo could see Jongin’s dilated pupils.
Jongin placed his hand on the back of Kyungsoo’s head and Kyungsoo closed his eyes, expecting Jongin to kiss him. But nothing happened so he cracked open an eye. Jongin was smirking.
It was a first. He’d seen Jongin make all types of expressions but it was the first time he’d seen the devilish grin grace his face.
“If you want it, you do it.” Jongin said, challenging Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate and he crashed his lips against Jongin’s. Jongin’s lips were as soft as he imagined. They were full and warm and he could detect the faint taste of the peach Jongin had eaten earlier. Jongin tilted his head and he ran his tongue over Kyungsoo’s lips.
Kyungsoo felt the butterflies do flips in his abdomen. That feeling that Chanyeol had talked about. All the blood in his body rushing straight to his crotch.
He opened his mouth, allowing Jongin’s wet tongue to intermingle with his.
Kyungsoo liked it a lot . He liked how hot and wet Jongin’s tongue felt and he liked the way Jongin occasionally sucked on his. Jongin kept his right hand on the back of Kyungsoo’s neck, but he let the other one rest on Kyungsoo’s thigh. His thumb gently rubbed circles that sent shivers down his spine.
Kyungsoo pulled away after he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Jongin and Kyungsoo looked at each other, panting. Jongin’s chest was rising and falling and his lips were wet (presumably with Kyungsoo’s saliva).
“I just wanted to taste some of the lemonade you stole from me.” Jongin said. He still hadn’t let Kyungsoo’s head go. Kyungsoo wanted to kiss Jongin again. He wanted to taste the peaches on Jongin’s supple lips and feel that sinful tongue explore the inside of his mouth. He could feel the ghost of Jongin’s lips sucking gently on his tongue.
He had never felt like that before. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, anticipating his answer.
Kyungsoo’s phone rang, breaking their silent and intimate moment. Jongin finally let go of Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo reached for his phone.
The familiar nickname flashed on his screen.
Baby .
Jongin saw it too.
“Shit.” Jongin said.
Kyungsoo thought the same thing.