Chapter Text
Dirk sighed lightly, watching as Jake's sleeping form curled toward him for the third time that night. He couldn't sleep with Jake so close like that; the damn cravings had gotten to a point where Dirk was continuously cursing his own existence. It would be easier to just tell Jake, get it off his back for now. Of course, that could turn out terrible; Jake could be a hunter, or know hunters, and that would only end in Dirk's untimely demise. There was also the fact that Jake would probably lose a lot of the trust he had built up with Dirk; the two had been dating for almost four years by that time, and Dirk couldn't bear to lose him now.
Jake would have to find out eventually, but Dirk didn't want the current issue to escalate to a point where he was trying to explain to a confused and bleeding Jake why he bit him in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. So, instead of dealing with the problem, Dirk simply refused to sleep at night and took routine naps during the day in Jake's absence. There was also an issue with that, though; working as a robotic engineer and designing new technology didn't come easy when sleep deprivation got in the way of deadlines and the creation of blue prints.
Even so, Dirk refused to put Jake's well being at risk for the sake of sleep. Sleep was only somewhat necessary, but it was nice to be well rested, even if he really only needed a good feeding to feel the same way. Again, there was an issue with that. Dirk hadn't fed in three weeks because of sleep deprivation and Jake being around a little too often to allow him to sneak out for a little taste of lone pedestrian.
He needed to feed, and soon, or this was going to get farther out of hand than Dirk was capable of dealing with, and he was anything but ready to tell Jake that he wasn't exactly human.
• • •
Dirk hadn't even realized he had drifted off that night, but he woke to Jake stirring in his embrace. He shifted lightly, but his eyes snapped open the moment he realized exactly what position he was in with Jake. Dirk pulled away completely, sitting up in the bed, sheets falling into a sort of cloth nest around his waist. He had been at Jake's throat, mouth too close for comfort, and he had to take a moment to calm down, breathing deeply.
"Dirk..? You alright, love?" Jake's groggy voice drifted to him from under the light sheets the human had curled up under after being left without contact on the bed. His boyfriend sat up after a moment, drawing the covers up around him in a cocoon. Jake rubbed his eyes lightly, reaching out blindly to feel around for his glasses on the nightstand.
"I...," Dirk paused before nodding. "I'm fine, I'm just going to go for a walk, need to clear my head. Didn't really get a lot of sleep." At least it wasn't a complete lie this time.
"Do you want me to-" he paused, stifling a yawn before continuing. "-come with you?"
Dirk shook his head, clearing his throat. "No, its fine. Go back to sleep, I'll be back in a bit. Just a and dream I need to shake," he lied, pushing himself off the bed before leaning over and kissing Jake lightly, lingering a moment, struggling with his scent, that mouthwatering musk that seemed to always hang off of Jake.
Jake tugged him close, and Dirk found himself pressing Jake back against the bed, mouth finding its way over Jake's jaw and almost to the crook of his neck before the other laughed and pushed at him.
"I just woke up, wait an hour or two you eager beaver!" Jake chuckled, pushing Dirk away before pecking him on the lips. "I thought you had a walk to go on?"
Dirk struggled a moment, mouth closed to conceal elongated incisors but he offered a tight-lipped smile. "Y-yeah, I'll be back in a few. Sorry, got carried away," he mumbled quietly, pecking Jake quickly on the forehead before heading to the door. "Love you," he said over his shoulder, looking back at Jake again before heading out.
The moment he reached the apartment's main door, Dirk all but tore out of the home he and Jake shared, shutting the door quickly behind him before flash stepping himself to the center of town. It was a skill he had acquired shortly after becoming a full fledged vampire, and he had honed it to perfection. The skill could act as a form of teleportation as well as simply a quick escape using a large burst of energy.
Of course, this was the last of the energy Dirk possessed, and with the situation standing, he needed to feed now. It was still early, not quite dawn yet, the horizon streaked with bright orange and gold, the sun only just beginning to show the edges of its fiery light. Dirk knew exactly what he needed; and a drunk from the local bar would do fantastically. All he needed to take was a pint or so of blood and he would be back to normal.
The last thing he needed was to lose control in front of Jake. He managed to slip into a nearby alley way, waiting, watching the bar patrons finally begin to shuffle out, some waving down taxi cabs, others beginning their walk back home. Dirk managed to snag the attention of a tall male stumbling down the sidewalk, the human's mind easily influenced and Dirk was almost suspicious of just how weak the mental wall was. No, he didn't have time to be suspicious; he needed to finish here and then get the fuck out before Jake got worried and tried to go looking for him.
He drew back, deeper into the alleyway, reeling in the human on the other end of the mental connection. The moment the man was in range, Dirk was dragging him forward, making his memories a blank slate for the few minutes he would need here. It was mere moments after that he was latched onto the man's throat, teeth sunk deeply into the skin. The splash of iron against his tongue, after it had been so long, was almost enough to draw a moan from Dirk, but he withheld. He had no time to savor the taste now, he needed to do this and be done with it as quickly as possible. He sucked at the wound, measuring how much he needed with the physical stability of the man before him, but the human seemed to be at the peak of physical health. Hell, if it weren't for the heavy taint of alcohol in his bloodstream, Dirk would never have believed that the guy drank at all. Any alcohol, beer especially, was extremely high in caloric value, so he must work hard to work them all off.
He pulled back once the human became a bit unstable on his feet, and it wasn't long before he had detached completely from the stranger, cleaning up the wound with a little of the hand sanitizer from his pocket container that Jake insisted he carry for sanitary reasons; the dork.
He slipped back into the shadows of the alley way, releasing his mental grip on the man and waiting. He watched as the human stumbled, obviously dizzy, and remained where he was to make sure he wouldn't pass out. However, after a moment, the man had collected himself, balance sorted and standing on shaky legs but no worse for wear; not to mention that Dirk now had managed to curb his bloodlust and knew it would be safe to be around Jake. It would be safe to be normal, to cuddle while they slept, to not have to only sleep by means of naps during the day for fear of hurting his human counterpart.
He sighed in relief as the man stumbled from the alley, and Dirk waited a little while before checking for any signs of blood on himself and exiting the alley in the opposite direction. He would walk for a little while, not long, but he would waste just enough time for the 'went for a walk' excuse to be convincing. After all, things like feeding normally didn't take very long, and this time was no exception.
• • •
When he got home, locking the door behind him, Jake surprised him by turning on a light, sitting at the kitchen table.
"Hey baby, you okay?" Dirk asked, but Jake's expression was serious.
"Dirk, we need to talk."
"What about?" He replied, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.
"Are you on drugs?" Jake questioned, staring at him with concern, and Dirk paused, baffled.
"What?"
"Are you on drugs, Dirk?" He asked again, and Dirk shook his head, hands up.
"No-- Jake, what is this about?"
"You're showing signs of withdrawl, I'm not stupid, Dirk," he snapped, raising a hand to list symptoms off on his fingers. "You aren't sleeping, you have no libido, you're irritable and exhausted all the time-- you get nightmares, which you've never had in all the years I've known you."
"That isn't--"
"Then what isit?! You're worrying me! You disappear once a week and come back a new man! It's been three weeks and I thought you were over it, but you're back looking chipper and absolutely fine after your 'walk'. Forgive me for not believing you aren't doing something drug related," Jake sighed, running a hand frustratedly through his hair. "I can't help you if I don't understand what is happening with you!"
Dirk took a deep breath, tongue pressed to the side of his cheek. "I... have been keeping something from you, but I swear on my life it isn't that."
"Just tell me! Consarnit, Strider, haven't I proven myself trustworthy to you? What more do you want from me?!"
"Jake, please-- just give me a little time. I promised you I would tell you everything, and I will, but--"
"But what, Dirk?! What are you afraid of?!"
"I'm afraid of you not wanting to be with me if I tell you!" Dirk finally snapped, only to cover his mouth.
Jake's expression turned heartbroken in a moment, and he moved to stand. "Love, there's nothing in the world we can't get through together, you just need to tell me what's wrong."
He let Jake pull him down into a gentle embrace, wrapping his own arms around Jake's waist and dragging him closer.
"We can do this, love," he said, rubbing Dirk's back gently, "I just need to know what's wrong."
When Dirk pulled back, Jake let him, staring up expectantly, though his expression had softened from its initial intensity. He took another deep breath, managing, "Jake, I know this is going to sound crazy, okay? I'm not--," he paused again, not sure how to word it.
"Not what?"
"Not-- I'm-- I'm not--" for the first time in a long time, Dirk stammered, and Jake's expression turned concerned. "I'm-- Jake, I--"
"Are you alright, love?"
I'm going to throw up, he realized, anxiety spiking and stomach turning sickly.
"Dirk?"
He pushed past Jake, making a b-line for the bathroom and losing his entire recent feed into the toilet, and Jake followed behind him, only to all but panic at the sight of Dirk throwing up blood.
"We-- we have to get you to a hospital! Dirk, christ on a stick, I'm-- I'm going to call 9-1-1!" He called, dashing from the bathroom, but Dirk managed to catch him by the hem of his shirt.
"Don't!"
"What do you mean, don't?! I just watched you throw up a gallon of blood into the toilet! I'm taking you to the hospital!"
"I drink it!" The words spilled out of him before he could stop them, and Jake turned to him with a horrified look.
"What?! What do you-- Dirk, what?!"
"I drink blood! That's it! That's what it's about! I need it to feel normal!" He exclaimed, struggling to explain everything to him despite the sudden pounding headache and the burn in his throat. "I didn't want to-- to bite your or something, okay?!"
"Bite me?! Strider what on Earth are you on about?!"
"I'm not human, Jake!" he finally said, and Jake just stopped to stare at him.
"That's what all this is about?! That you're not human? Really?!" Dirk stared back at him, not sure what to say to that, and Jake frowned at him. "What are you trying to say, Strider? Do you really expect me to believe that? Of course you're human, what on Earth even--"
"I can prove it," he interrupted, almost frantically, and Jake stopped.
"What?"
"I can prove it. I can show you."
"Strider, I think you're stressed and unstable, you need sleep and you need a hospital," Jake's tone softened, and he reached for Dirk, but Dirk recoiled.
"This is why I didn't want to tell you, I knew you wouldn't understand," he managed quietly, and Jake's expression turned into a frown again. "I'm not crazy, Jake. I've been dealing with this for my entire life. Dave, too. Call him if you don't believe me."
Jake bit his lip, and then reached for his phone.
"Tell him I said to tell you the truth."
Jake glanced back over at him, and then dialed Dave's number. It rang a few times, and then his brother answered, a mumbled, tired S'up? coming through the phone. Jake put it on speaker.
"Dirk asked me to ask you to tell me the truth," Jake said, his tone giving away his frustration.
Dave swore loudly on the other end of the line, sounding much more awake, and asked, "Have you guys already talked about it?"
"Yes," Jake told him, then added, "Frankly, I don't believe a word of it."
"Okay. So. To sum it up, Dirk and I are vampires. Like, actual vampires. Not some bullshit goth larpers. He needs blood to live, same here. Tell Dirk to show you what a flash step is."
Jake looked over to him, and Dirk admitted into the phone, "I would, but I just threw up everything I ate."
Again, Dave cursed. "Okay, new plan, I'll be there in less than a minute. I'll show you."
"Don't you live an hour away?" Jake questioned, voice suddenly a little more hesitant.
"By car? Yeah. But Dirk and I don't travel by car unless you or someone else is around."
"What--"
"Hang up, and open the apartment door."
Jake shot Dirk a look, but did as Dave asked, opening the front door. He all but jumped out of his skin when not only did Dave appear out of thin air, but then proceeded to prove the point by flash stepping directly in Jake's line of vision. He disappeared suddenly, reappearing directly next to Dirk, who's mouth was still stained red, and then glanced back at Jake.
"Do you believe me now?" Dirk questioned, still a little hoarse.
Jake stammered out something unintelligible, but Dave captured his attention shortly after, staring at him with concern. "How long have you--?"
"Three weeks. Tried today but got so stressed I threw it all up. At least a pint," Dirk explained, only to realize his mistake when Dave turned on his heel, a glare leveled at Jake.
"You can't keep him from feeding! You'll fucking starve him to death!" He snarled, visibly furious, but Dirk put a hand on his shoulder.
"He didn't know. He thought I was on drugs or something."
"Well you know what? You're a fucking idiot for not telling him for four fucking years!"
To his surprise, Jake came to his defense, seeming to have shaken his surprise. "Don't you yell at him! I caused this!"
Dave threw his hands in the air. "Fine! Both of you are stupid idiots who should have a little more fucking faith in each other!"
Dave dissapeared as fast as he had appeared, and Dirk turned to look over at Jake, not sure what to say.
"I-- erm, suppose you need to go back out?" He asked, hesitantly.
"Can't now," Dirk replied, pausing to look in the mirror and grimace. He moved to the kitchen, taking a paper towel and trying to get the deep red stain off his chin. The pale tone of his skin didn't help, and despite his scrubbing, a faint red tinge stayed. "Sun is coming up."
"Wait, but--?"
"It won't kill me, you know that," Dirk interrupted. "You've been out with me in the day the before, I just sunburn really easy, and I'd get sun poisoning if I went out now, because of the eating situation. I'll have to wait 'till tonight."
Jake paused, expression one of consideration, and Dirk caught on to what he was thinking in seconds. "Absolutely not. Fuck no."
"But, Dirk, I'm the reason you--" he started, but Dirk held up a hand.
"Don't. It's not your fault, I should have kept better track and been more responsible, and I should have told you earlier. Don't feel like you need to do that, because I won't do that to you."
Jake's expression turned a little sad at Dirk's words, and he went to argue, but Dirk interrupted again. "The answer is no, Jake. I kept this from you because I know how you are and I didn't want you feeling the need to offer me anything."
"I'm sorry for not believing you," he said, quietly, and Dirk sighed.
"Its okay. I should have explained it better, but I didn't know how to tell you." Jake took a step toward him, but Dirk put a hand up. "Please, baby. Not right now. Just let me calm down a little bit. I have to wait till tonight, I have to eat before I get close to you again."
Jake nodded, glancing away, looking guilty. "I didn't mean to make you so anxious."
"Its okay, I shouldn't have gotten so stressed over it," Dirk reassured him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry Dave yelled at you, I just knew I couldn't convince you like this."
"Please don't apologize, love," Jake said, and despite Dirk's initial warning, he headed into the kitchen and took one of Dirk's hands in his. "I just don't understand why you were so afraid to tell me. We could have talked about it a while ago and avoided all this malarkey. You scared me half to death when you began throwing up blood, Dirk. I thought you were dying."
"Kinda felt like I was dying," Dirk admitted, humored. "Throwing up something as thick as blood is like drowning."
Jake frowned, visibly upset, but Dirk leaned down to leave a chaste kiss on his lips, only for Jake to pull back with a look of disgust, commenting, "Your breath is horrific."
Laughing at him, Dirk said, "If it makes you feel any better it tastes worse than it smells. It's so bad on the way back up."
Jake batted him away, "That's awful, Strider! I don't want to hear about that!"
He laughed at Jake's response, rolling his eyes, and told him he was going to bed. To Dirk's relief, Jake didn't follow.