Work Text:
"But when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you."
"Hey, are you okay, Lance?" Allura asked in that accent of hers that Lance had fallen for ever since that first day on the ship. But it wasn't, no she wasn't the only one Lance had fallen for. There was someone else he spent more time thinking about lately and he hated it. It was so frustrating but it was also just confusing. This was supposed to be his happy ending. He saved the world and he got the girl in the end, just like the hero at the end of every movie. So, why didn't he feel right?
He thought that what he and Allura had was real. But now, Lance wasn't sure if it was really what he wanted.
"Yeah, I'm fine, babe. Try not too miss me too much." Lance winced at his words. He was trying to sound less like that overconfident jerk now that he felt more secure in his decisions and who he was. But the problem was that he was feeling so unsure lately.
He just needed some space but he couldn't tell the Princess that because then she would want to know why.
Allura went in for a kiss but Lance turned his head at the last second uncomfortably, letting her settle for his cheek. They both frowned, not understanding each other yet again, and it seemed to come down to that more and more often. Allura patted him on the shoulder awkwardly while trying to figure out why he was so unsettled without actually asking him. Perhaps, because she wasn't ready for the answer.
Allura walked away, leaving the space between them to grow even more.
Oddly enough, Lance felt like he could breathe again after she left. Like there was a part of him holding back with her. And there was.
None of it made sense, Lance lamented. A year ago, he would have been ecstatic for just the smallest nod of encouragement from Allura, but now her touch felt like it didn't belong so close to him.
Lance needed to get it together. He needed to remind himself how lucky he was.
This was Allura. The Pretty Altean Princess that he had wanted to call his since day one. She chose him and he chose her. And it was just that easy.
But it wasn't.
Life for a Defender of the Universe was not allowed to be that easy.
Lance had too much on his mind for one person. He needed to confront the root of the issue. The demon keeping him from his happy ending. Even if Hell was looking like the best place to be these days.
He kept walking while pondering his situation anxiously.
The other paladins used to joke about his ability to walk and talk at the same time, but he proved them right again as he ended up bumping into the devil himself.
"Keith, my man, how you living?" Lance faked a smile like it was second nature to him.
"Uh, good? How are you and Allura?" Keith's eyes darted away from Lance as if he was looking for the nearest escape route from their conversation.
Honestly? It hurt. Lance had thought they had moved past that awkward stage of their relationship where they were always pretending to hate each other. But some days, it felt like nothing had really changed the way Lance wanted them to.
It felt like Keith had been keeping his distance and Lance wasn't sure if it happened after him and Allura got together or if the guy was just busy. It didn't matter anyway. Overthinking things was Lance's signature move and Keith was a pretty straightforward guy. If he had a problem, he'd say it.
"Good. I mean, I don't know. It's like I don't know who- I mean what I want anymore. Like I'm going crazy with all this-all these things in my head. Making me question everything. You know?" Did he just say that out loud? Admit that Allura and him weren't everything he thought it would be? And to Keith, of all people. What was wrong with him?
"I didn't get any of that." Keith deadpanned because that's what Keith did.
Lance checked to make sure Keith wasn't secretly just trying to brush him off. He didn't look annoyed yet. If anything, he just looked really confused. That happened pretty often with Lance though and he didn't usually let that deter him.
He proceeded to plow on like an idiot.
"That's the thing, Keithy-boy. You don't get it. And she doesn't get it. But more importantly, I don't get it." Lance looked at Keith mentally willing him to finally understand what he was trying to get at, despite every interaction prior proving that Keith most likely would need his feelings spelled out for him.
"Get what, Lance?" Keith didn't look like he wanted to run away anymore. It was worse. He looked concerned. About Lance.
It was things like that that made Lance want to smash his head against the nearest wall. Just the way Keith said his name. The way he looked at him. Like he mattered. Like he would take being confused for the rest of his life, if it meant Lance would still be there at the end of the day to explain things to him.
It was now or never.
"I have feelings for you. I don't think it's as serious as being in love, but I feel like it could be that later. You make me want to believe in love and I'm sorry for how cheesy that sounds. But I'm supposed to be with Allura and that was supposed to be it. My happy ending and all, but I just had to go and like you too and complicate everything. And I can't just forget about you because when I touch her, I feel like I'm cheating on you. I know that's stupid. But that's the way I feel." Lance felt himself rambling as weeks of endless thought processes and love triangle scenarios poured out of him in one go.
Lance wanted to stop that ugly feeling he had. The one that made him fall for all the wrong people and hate himself for it.
"But you chose her, Lance." Keith reminded him like that wasn't what had been on his own mind for the last two weeks.
Now, his name felt like an apology. But what was it for?
Lance knew he chose wrong and if he had a time machine, he would do things differently. But he could only hope there was still enough time for a poorly placed do-over.
"Keith. If you've ever felt that way about me, even for a second, I promise to make it up to you for as long as you'll let me. I should have chosen you from the beginning and this time, I will. I'll choose you today,and tomorrow, and first. You're not my second choice and I'm so sorry if that's how this is coming across. But even if you don't feel that way about me, I'm going to break up with Allura. I can't be with her while I'm thinking about someone else all the time. " Lance stepped closer to Keith.
Lance felt like an awful person but for once, his head and his heart were aligned in his decision. Even if Keith didn't reciprocate his feelings, he wouldn't regret finally being honest.
Who would choose who this time?
"I know I'm going to probably regret this, and it probably won't work out. And you're such an idiot. But maybe I'm an idiot for liking you. And maybe it's not the meant to be kind of ending you thought Allura would be, but of course, Lance. I always wanted you to choose me." Keith admitted his own feelings.
They were both insane, stupid, heart-foolish, idiots. It wasn't going to be an easy happy ending like the movies. It was real life.
In real life, buildings got burned into ruins so easily and then they would be rebuilt from scratch. It was hard work.
But maybe that was the only way to go from where they were.
Lance leaned in and Keith let himself finally be pulled into Lance's orbit, gravity couldn't hold them down anymore.
But then Lance stopped with a sheepish look.
"I probably should go break up with Allura before I actually cheat on her. "
Keith sighed. As usual, he wasn't thinking things through in the moment.
"I hate you. And I already regret this conversation." Keith backtracked, taking an obvious step back. It helped him clear his head and not feel so easily spun out of orbit.
"I don't think you do." Lance walked away, feeling a little less torn.