Archive of Our Own

It was late. Late enough that the crew was asleep but not too late that Luffy should be wandering around in search of a mid-sleep meal. It was late and Sanji was alone in the kitchen. In the pantry, to be exact. As far from the sleeping quarters as he could get. He couldn’t ever be too cautious with this crew.  He waited a little after settling down, but all he could hear was the creak of the Merry and the splash of the waves on the sides of the boat. It had been four months since he left the Baratie and joined the crew and he was getting frustrated. Yes, he had been at sea at the restaurant, but there he had his own room and there were plenty of new faces every day. Interesting and interested men, women, and even some who rejected gender entirely. You got all types on the sea and Sanji was certainly not one to limit his palate. He even had some regulars who came back for more than just his cuisine.

This wasn’t the first time he’d stolen some time for himself since becoming a pirate. The excitement of their lives and fights helped with his pent up energy but sometimes one needed a particular outlet. And sitting alone in the pantry with his hand as his only companion was a poor substitute for the kinds of things he used to get up to. But, it would have to do. Sure, getting off helped, but there was something about the contact of another person, touching skin, the connection you could create, the creativity of someone else’s hands. Not to mention the way pleasure could feel when your partner knew you well enough. Hard to tie yourself up and even harder to get off if you succeeded.

Sanji sighed pleasantly, imagining what it would feel like if he had someone with him here, someone who could pin down this frantic energy of his. He thought of one of his regulars at the restaurant. A sea-weathered sailor who knew plenty about how to manipulate rope into knots and not just because of their profession. Sanji imagined their strong, sturdy hands holding him tight when Sanji felt like he was going to vibrate out of his own skin. He moved, remembering the feeling of running his hands along the sailor’s chest; the tan and toughened skin; the curling, sun-bleached hair.  It would catch on the sweat from arousal and exertion on Sanji’s own fingers. He imagined running his fingers from the sailor’s right shoulder tracing the massive scar on their chest, down and across, moving his other hand into the sailor’s short green hair...wait. That sailor didn’t have a chest scar, and they certainly did not have green hair. That shitty marimo bastard was the only person Sanji had met with such oddly colored hair and why the hell was he thinking of him at a time like this?

It must be his subconscious reminding him to be careful. Out of the last seven times he’d done this, that damn swordsman had almost caught him five. Of course, those five times had been on land, where Sanji had less access to locked doors and everyone’s sleep was out of wack. But still. Good thing that bastard was too oblivious to realize what Sanji had been doing. 

The man was practically a monk, bar the inhuman amount of drinking. Sanji doubted he had even thought of sex as a concept, much less participated in it.  He was so obsessed with mastering the three swords on his side that he hadn’t given any consideration to the one between his legs. Ha! Sanji had to stifle a laugh at that. The terms people came up with to refer to a penis. And apparently he wasn’t any better. Despite himself, the idea of a particular sword between the legs brought him back around to the task at hand and he returned to his fantasy of the knot-tying sailor. What was that thing they had done with their finger? It had been like they would press a button and Sanji was ready to go. Oh right.

Sanji copied the move and not only was he now on a train that only had one destination, just a hand doing the usual wasn’t going to be enough.  He had been foiled by Zoro before and the repeated lack of finishing had really been getting to him.

He thanked his past self for planning ahead and reached for the small bottle of lube in his pocket. He shuffled his pants a little lower and slid down the wall a bit more, trying to angle his body for a better reach. He fumbled with the lube one handed but eventually reached his other hand down between his legs. That was it. Finally, finally , he was going to take care of the damn buzzing in his body. It had started to become comedically distracting and he was not interested in popping a boner around the crew because the wind blew in the wrong direction.  

Speaking of directions, Sanji was finding the right ones with his fingers, soon creating an effective rhythm with both hands. He knew his body well. He was getting close. Finally, he was going to-

Click.

Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck, fuck shit. Had he locked the pantry door? He had, right? It must just be Luffy sleep walking. That was fine. The fridge wasn’t in here and in any case the door was definitely locked and he was so close . He just had to keep quiet and he could finally finish with no one the wiser. He heard footsteps approaching but that was fine, that was fine. He was safe and quiet and he just needed a little more, a little more, he was so close, please .

The pantry door opened. Suddenly the train Sanji had been riding was hitting the breaks like there was a damsel in distress on the tracks. And oh, wasn’t that a great thought, death, while trying to get off. Sanji looked up and saw, to his utter horror, the last person he wanted to see in this moment.

“FUCKING HELL, ZORO! ” Sanji yelled, as loudly as he dared, flames in his eyes. Gods above, he was going to finally kill this man. He was going to use his precious cook’s hands and fucking strangle this bastard.

Zoro looked at him with mild shock and Sanji suddenly remembered what he looked like. Pants down, hands in various places, disheveled and clearly in the middle of something. He blushed fiercely with embarrassment and rage at being found in such a state. He sat up and started pulling up his pants. Zoro finally looked away with a furrowed brow that Sanji could clearly see. The bastard probably thought it was funny but he better keep holding it in if he knew what was good for him. Sanji stood up as Zoro walked towards him.

“What, you wanna fight marimo? I’m ready, I’ll kill you right now you bastard.” Sanji said, tone low.

Zoro did not answer, instead reaching to a shelf halfway between them and grabbing a bottle of saké. It seemed far too convenient.

“Oh, of course you need a cover for interrupting me this time. What was it before, you just wanted to know where I was? Do you know how many times you’ve-you’ve cock blocked me?!” Sanji demanded.

“Mm, I think this makes six.” Zoro said, avoiding Sanji’s glare as he walked back into the kitchen with his bottle.

“W-wait. What? What!” Sanji followed Zoro, flabbergasted. “You knew? On Drum Island. In Alabasta. You knew ?!”

“Well, yeah. It’s kind of hard not to put two and two together. You’re not as discreet as you think, shitty cook.”

Sanji didn’t even acknowledge the insult. This fucker was so cool and collected about this and Sanji had just been about to finally release a not insignificant amount of built up tension and he had been interrupted-- again --by a green haired ass who wanted to get drunk in the middle of the night.

He really could strangle him. At least kick him off the boat. If the bastard wanted to drink like a fish, maybe he should start with salt water. 

As Sanji went to the sink to wash his hands, he heard Zoro set the bottle on the table. So he was going to drink here, huh? Probably trying to torture Sanji by not giving him back his privacy. Bold of him to assume Sanji would be remotely interested in anything sexual after seeing Zoro’s infuriating face.

“How did you even know?” Sanji began as he turned his back to him to turn the water on, “I thought you didn’t even know sex was a thing, much less know what it entailed.” 

This conversation was much easier when he didn’t have to look at said face.

“Of course I do. You think I haven’t had sex before?” Zoro asked, a little incredulous as he sat down at the table.

“Uh, yeah.” Sanji rolled his eyes. “There are people who are never interested in it, you know. You’re practically a monk and all you think about is fighting. I figured you didn’t know or you were ace,” Sanji shrugged. “Also, get a glass you green caveman.”

“Fine.” Zoro sighed, “I’m not a monk, I’m just not a pent up ball of sexual frustration like you are, curly brow.”

“And how is that, you bastard?” Sanji asked, turning the water off and drying his hands.

“Well, for one, I know better hiding spots than you.” Zoro said, rising. “And for two, I know where to find partners when we’re on land.”

“Ha! Yeah right! When do you have the time? And who would even want to fuck you?” Sanji guffawed and turned to face Zoro, pointing at him in disbelief for such a ridiculous statement.

Zoro gave him a look and said, “You know, we do tend to save whole countries. There are plenty of people that are interested in heroes. I’ve been told I’m pretty good looking, too,” he smirked. “You just have to know how to be discreet, like I said…...And usually after Luffy eats himself into a coma at a celebration feast so I don’t have to watch out for him.”

Sanji turned around in frustration. Of course the man had to make sense now . 

“Oh, well, la dee da, you’re fucking on the reg. Good for you.” He reached above the sink to get a glass for water and turned the faucet back on.

“You know,” Zoro said, halfway to Sanji. The hell? This man could be too quiet sometimes, though Sanji was sure the running water helped him muffle his footsteps.

“You don’t have to be a ‘pent up ball of sexual frustration.’” Zoro continued, moving closer.

“What?” Sanji turned the water off and placed his glass on the counter before turning back around. And now, Zoro was much, much closer. “You think you’re going to give me tips on how to get laid or something, shitty swordsman?”

“No,” Zoro leaned in, one hand on the counter’s edge next to Sanji’s hip and the other reaching over and above his opposing shoulder, boxing Sanji in. Their faces were suddenly much too close for comfort and Sanji was ready to headbutt him if he didn’t back off. He felt a beat of arousal in his gut at Zoro's proximity and he really did not want to consider that.

“You could just fuck me.” Zoro said, quietly, almost nonchalantly.

Sanji stared, shocked. That was not what he had been expecting. Zoro stared back a moment, serious, apparently. Sanji could only blink. What the hell? And then Zoro was backing off, face (blushing?) turned away and glass in hand. Oh, right, that must have been his goal all along, to grab a glass. And Sanji had just been in the way. And Zoro’s face was red from...the alcohol? Surely he had drunk some already, right? And Sanji was still coming down from his time in the pantry. It was the only explanation. All odd circumstances, sure, but all with logical conclusions. Nothing to worry about.

He heard Zoro sit down and his eyes came back into focus.

“Ha ha, yeah right marimo. Very funny, let’s make fun of Sanji because we have our life in order and don’t need to jerk off in the pantry in the middle of the night.”

Zoro stopped pouring his drink. 

“It wasn’t a joke.”

And this time Sanji could clearly see the red in his cheeks and ears, but his eyes were dead serious. Suddenly Sanji’s own cheeks and ears felt a quite a bit warmer than they had and his mouth was too dry. He turned, quickly downed his water, and booked it to the door, mumbling a goodnight on his way out.

Shit fuck, fuck shit. Why was he even blushing? It wasn’t like he was even attracted to the man, much less wanted to have sex with him! He hadn’t ever even thought of him that way! Well, except for tonight. And maybe a couple times before. But that was just because Zoro kept interrupting his alone time! Nothing more! And what did those partners of Zoro’s even see in him? Sure, he was muscular, and had a pretty alright face, and those three earrings could be fun to play with, and--but no, that was all pretty objective. Anyone who saw him would think that. And the guy had a shitty personality anyway and Sanji didn’t fuck shitty personalities. He bet Zoro hadn’t even had sex with other men anyway. He was definitely just messing with Sanji and it wasn’t a real offer and he definitely shouldn’t dwell on it past tonight.

Sanji was startled to find that his thoughts had occupied him through cleaning himself up and getting ready for bed, and he was climbing into his hammock before he knew it. The sounds of Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper sleeping (snoring) were lulling him to sleep like the familiarity of a summer storm and he drifted off with the determination to forget this whole disaster of a night ever happened.

It had been a week since that night and Sanji had firmly put Zoro’s offer out of his mind. He wasn’t even sure he didn’t dream it in some sort of frustration-induced sexy anxiety dream. Which, having Zoro show up in his dreams like that would not be ideal, but much better than that night being a reality.  Zoro had given no sign of acknowledgement that it had happened either. Which suited Sanji just fine. And yes, maybe Nami had commented that the ship had been a little quieter, what with Sanji maybe just a bit avoiding Zoro. Which meant avoiding fighting. Which meant that without any battles with mysterious organizations or shitty rulers, Sanji was feeling the toll of his pent up energy start to wear on him. 

Maybe he should try to take a page out of that bastard’s book and find someone on the island they were docked at. But how to even start? Maybe the island had a red light district? Or maybe he could head out after dinner to a bar and try to pick someone up. He was a bit out of practice but he bet he could manage. Tonight after dinner he would go out for a night on the town. He began musing about dinner, considering the island’s specialty of wheat and barley. He could make a classic carbonara with a fresh pasta and a few ham hocks as a side for Luffy. And an acid-forward salad with whatever local greens he could find. That would balance out the meal nicely. Nami and Robin would surely enjoy a white wine pairing, perhaps a Pinot Grigio. Usopp and Zoro might appreciate a beer or cider, and Chopper would be delighted with garlic bread. That settled the menu, so Sanji headed out towards the market to pick up ingredients. 

The carbonara went swimmingly and Nami and Robin complimented him on how nicely the flavors balanced out. The island had a robust market, with fresh fruit and greens, and plenty of options for flour, bread, and beer. He had even had a chance to scope out some places to go this evening. The only problem with dinner was that the shitty swordsman wasn’t there.

“Where’s Zoro?” Sanji asked, over the din of what could only be described as Luffy inhaling chunks of meat while Usopp and Chopper fought to get a bite in edgewise.

Nami looked up. “Oh, I think he’s still out. He said not to worry about dinner though.”

“That shitty marimo, maybe he should tell the cook that he won’t be eating?” Sanji huffed.

“Well, I mean, Luffy will just eat any leftovers so it’s not like he’s wasting food.” Nami said.

“It’s the principal of the thing, Nami-chan!” Sanji rose from his seat. “I’m going to go find him and kick some manners into his damn head. He’s probably lost anyway.”

“Okay, well, try to enjoy the nightlife while you’re out. I know you’ve been feeling down.” Nami called after him.

“Thank you Nami-chan!” Sanji called back as he left the mess hall.

The path from the docks to the downtown area was pretty straightforward, but knowing Zoro, he was off lost in the plains somewhere. The man could get turned around on a one-way street.

The sun had set and the moon was almost full, its light filling in the shadows the streetlamps created. Well, he should probably find Zoro before going to enjoy himself. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to relax peacefully. And in any case, he didn’t intend on sleeping alone tonight and would much rather not have his search for Zoro interrupt any potential encounters.

So rather than follow the cobblestone street, Sanji took a hard left towards the farmland and prairie that made up most of the island. The lamps and buildings became fewer and fewer. There was a guardhouse at the transition of cobblestone to dirt, the end of town. Sanji stopped at it and the guard inside looked up from a book.

“Good evening mademoiselle,” he crooned. “Have you by any chance seen a man walk by tonight? He has green hair and three swords on his side.”

“Huh? Yeah, a guy like that passed by here about an hour ago. Asked ‘im if he wanted directions but he said he knew where he was goin’ so I let him be.”

“Why thank you, oh beauty of the night.” Sanji said, “I shall take my sad leave of you now.”

“Yeah yeah whatever, lover boy.” The guard responded and returned to her book.

Sanji set off on the now dirt road, lighting a cigarette. It was a spring island and the day had been a warm teasing of summer, which transitioned into a comfortable nighttime air.

The island might have been plains, but it was not flat, and not completely clear of trees either. The farmers delineated their land by planting trees on the borders. It probably helped keep livestock contained too. Sanji walked by fields and wild grass plains interspersed over the land like a patchwork quilt of silk and frayed edges. Rolled up hay dotted the fields like circular huts for tiny people. Maybe it was the moon and the air that had him waxing poetic in his mind. He’d have to write this down later and maybe perform it for Robin and Usopp. He took off his jacket and loosened his tie, warmed by the walk, up and down hills.

As he walked across a stone bridge over a fair-sized stream in a valley, he saw light that was different from the windows of farmhouses in the distance. It had been hidden from view by the trees on either side of the stream, but on the bridge he could see it clearly. Bingo.

Sanji adjusted his gait to be as quiet as possible and walked towards the light. Sure enough, as he got closer he could make out the silhouette of Zoro lounging, swords beside him, facing away from Sanji and towards the campfire he had built. Sanji approached and raised his leg above the bastard’s head.

“Oi, shitty marimo!” Sanji brought his leg down onto Zoro’s head but the other man was faster and brought a hand up to block the attack.

“What the hell, shit cook!” Zoro turned and stood up.

“Where the hell have you been? Dinner was an hour ago and you didn’t show up! Who taught you manners, you moss for brains?” Sanji went in for another kick.

“Oi oi oi! The town is just super far from the ship and I was taking a break!” Zoro caught Sanji’s foot and pushed back.

“The town is an hour back the way you came, turn left, and you’re right there! You’re just a shitty swordsman with no sense of direction who gets lost!” Sanji retracted his leg and walked past Zoro to the water. He wasn’t interested in getting into a full on fight with the man. He crouched down by the stream, placing his jacket next to him before splashing some water on his face. For a spring island it really was a warm night.

“You could at least be courteous and let me know," Sanji said. “If I know you’re going out, I know you’ll get lost and I don’t have to waste my time making you food.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t want to be around you.” Zoro grumbled.

“What was that, moss ball?” Sanji stood back up and grabbed Zoro by the shirt, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You wanna fight? What’s so bad about my company, huh?”

Zoro grabbed him back, “What’s. So. Bad. About. Mine?” he said through gritted teeth. He put emphasis on each word and matched it with a step forward, forcing Sanji back, and then letting go with a push on ‘mine’.

“Huh?” Sanji let go in his surprise.

Splash!

Sanji was drenched. And not even in a pleasantly refreshing way. No, the stream wasn’t deep enough to fully submerge so he was mostly wet but part dry and the texture difference only added to his rage. Not to mention he had been wearing one of his nicer suits because he had planned to meet someone tonight . No chance of that now! What, was he going to show up damp and wrinkled to a bar and woo some pretty local?

“Ohhh ho ho I’m gonna fucking kill you! ” Sanji surged from the water towards Zoro. “What the hell!”

“You let go, cook.” Zoro did not look at all sorry.

“YOU PUSHED ME!!” Sanji yelled, grabbing him by his shirt again and wrenching him back into the water with him. 

They fought until Sanji got the upper hand and pushed Zoro into the water, pinning him down while Zoro fought him back. Sanji had considered drowning him before and it looked like fate had provided the perfect opportunity!

“Wgb uog bo angbrg!” Zoro gurgled as he fought against Sanji to get air.

Sanji held him up. 

“What!” he demanded.

“Why are you so angry ,” Zoro said, spitting water out of his mouth, “When you’re the one who was avoiding me?! ”

“I wasn’t avoiding you!” Sanji denied, standing up quickly and moving backwards. Suddenly he did not want to be so close to Zoro and couldn’t look him in the eyes. Zoro’s head splashed back into the water and Sanji felt a little satisfaction at that. He waited until Zoro sat up to continue.

“I’m just pissed because you don’t have any manners and I had to come out looking for you when I was supposed to be meeting a nice person, er, lady at a bar! And now my suit is ruined so I can’t even do that after I’m done beating you to a pulp!”

Zoro wiped the water from his face and stood to begin marching towards him as Sanji backed up further.

“Yes you were,” Zoro said, ignoring Sanji’s very justified reasons for being angry, “For a week you’ve been avoiding fights and leaving rooms when I enter.”

“Okay fine!” Sanji threw his hands up, “Maybe I was avoiding you! But that’s only because you-” he cut himself off, looking away. He had told himself he wouldn’t bring it up. It had just been a weird dream, it wasn’t real.

“Because what, shitty cook?” Zoro asked, suddenly in Sanji’s space and grabbing his now soaked tie.

Sanji looked anywhere but Zoro’s face. “Because nothing.” He said, pushing Zoro back with his foot. Zoro let go and made his way out of the water towards the fire.

“Fine shitty cook. Didn’t know you were such a coward.”

That did it. Sanji had had enough of this man messing with his head.

“BECAUSE YOU SAID SOME WEIRD SHIT ABOUT US FUCKING, OKAY?” Sanji yelled into the night sky.

Zoro turned around, shadowed by the fire but smirk just visible in the moonlight.

“Oh, is that all it was? What, you think it’s weird for two guys to have sex?” He asked in a challenging tone.

“What? No! What? No, of course not. Who do you think I am? On the Baratie I...I won’t get into it. But no, it’s not because we’re both men. It’s because you’re a shitty swordsman who was making fun of me, after finding me in what is objectively an embarrassing situation!”

“I don’t think getting off in the pantry alone in the middle of the night is embarrassing. Maybe your desperation is though.” Zoro goaded.

“Oh fuck you.” Sanji flipped him off.

“That’s what I’ve been saying.”

“Aaagh!” Sanji grabbed his head in frustration. He could feel his cheeks start to turn red. He hoped the moon’s shadow and his distance from the fire hid his face enough. No need for the marimo bastard to get any (absolutely false) ideas.

Zoro stepped forward and reached his hand out.

“What is this, a peace offering?” Sanji looked at the hand cautiously.

“Yes.” Zoro said.

“Fine.” Sanji took his hand and Zoro helped him out of the water.

“I wasn’t making fun of you. The other night I mean. I was definitely making fun of you just now.”

“Ohhh fuuu--hrg.” Zoro gave him a look and Sanji had to stop himself with a growl of frustration. 

Great, now Zoro had taken the nice and succinct ‘fuck you’ from him along with the opportunity to ignore the offer had ever been made. They settled themselves on the grass, both soaked, and Sanji was glad Zoro had made a fire because even with the warmer night air, the water still had the cool chill of melted snow. He contemplated the flames.

“Supposing I even believe that you have sex on a semi-regular basis, why in the name of the deepest sea trench would I believe you’d want to have sex with me?” Sanji asked, trying to get as much heat from the fire as possible to dry his clothes.

“Well,” Zoro was also looking a bit chilled as he lay down in front of the fire.

“I like to have sex. I know you want to have sex. We usually only have downtime when we’re on the Merry or it’s too short to go find someone new. Seems like it would make sense. Besides, no one else on the ship would say yes to you.” Sanji shot him a glare and Zoro rolled his eyes. 

They both knew Luffy was oblivious, Usopp had Kaya at home, and Nami and Robin didn’t have that kind of relationship with Sanji. Sure he might dote on them and make heart eyes but that kind of stuff had a similar distance to the kind between a celebrity and a fan. You knew there wasn’t a chance for any kind of real romantic engagement. He cared about them and much more valued them as crewmates than as potential partners. That distance was present in most of his interactions with women outside the crew, too. There was no real chance to make a meaningful connection so why bother? And on the Grand Line, there was no going backwards. There were no restaurant regulars to establish a rapport with. Just one island after the next, your crew and your ship the only constants.

But that wasn’t the issue at hand here. The issue was that apparently Zoro was offering, no suggesting, that he and Sanji have sex. 

“Okay. Fine.” Sanji said, “Hypothetically, the math works out, sure. But what would it even look like? When, do you propose, to fuck? Not to mention feelings. What if you fall in love with me shitty marimo, what then? Things could get messy when we’re stuck on a ship together.”

“Pshh hard pass on that, cook.” Zoro rolled his eyes again. “It’s a no strings attached deal. We do it when we want or can, and stop when we don’t. I’m not interested in boning someone who’s not interested in boning me.”

“Obviously. Me either. And how do you propose we don’t get caught? I’m not exactly interested in broadcasting this to the whole crew. Like I said, things can get messy.”

“Well, for one, we could lock the pantry door.” said Zoro, giving Sanji a pointed look. Sanji flushed and flipped Zoro off.

“For two, I already said I know how to not get caught a lot better than you. I’m sure you’ll get better when you’re not so preoccupied all the time being, what did I say? Oh right. A ‘pent up ball of sexual frustration.’”

“Har har. Fine, I can see your points. Let me think about it.” Sanji said, and turned his back to the fire to dry his other half.

“Fine by me.” Zoro said, rolling over to do the same.

Facing away gave Sanji some clarity of mind, not having to be confronted with that bastard’s smirking or eye rolling. So sure, the math worked out. It could be mutually beneficial. But could he even see Zoro in that way? He had seemed so neutral to even the most attractive person passing by that Sanji thought he just wasn’t interested. Which put an immediate damper on any initial interest Sanji might have had in him. And now they were crew and Zoro was the person he fought with over petty insults. He had occasionally considered Zoro attractive, if he was being honest with himself. But they were passing thoughts, not enough to risk crew cohesion. He didn't think Zoro was the type to ridicule someone for their attraction based on gender, but he was sure Zoro would have never let it end if Sanji had shown attraction to Zoro himself. So, all potential sexual thoughts of Zoro had been thrown out with the wash. Until now.

Sanji considered. What features could he see as appealing? He had established that Zoro’s muscular build worked. And his face wasn’t half bad. He could almost smolder if he gave it any effort. He had calloused hands and Sanji did like the thought of them scratching slightly as they ran down his sides, up his legs, other...places.

Sanji knew grip wouldn’t be any kind of problem. And his hair was just long enough to grab in Sanji’s own hands. Okay so physically it would probably work. Zoro was attractive enough if Sanji gave him a chance. 

What about otherwise? Could Sanji trust him? Well, yes, of course. They were crew. Regardless of how much they fought, Sanji knew without a doubt that Zoro had his back, unwaveringly. Could he trust him emotionally though? Not romantically, Sanji couldn’t even keep a straight face at the thought of falling for Zoro. But past the initial release of his unending frustration (in part thanks to Zoro’s interruptions), there was an emotional vulnerability needed. It’s hard to get off when you’re stressed about if the other person is judging you for what makes you tick.

So far, Zoro had treated the whole thing with some amount of respect. He hadn’t actually been making fun of Sanji when he found him in a pretty compromising position. He had given Sanji space when Sanji had avoided him. And even now he was giving Sanji the time to consider his offer. This boded well, though he wouldn’t know for sure unless he gave it a shot.

“Okay.” Sanji said, turning back around to face Zoro. He was pretty dry now anyway.

Zoro looked over his shoulder. “Oh yeah?”

“A couple of things first, though.” Sanji said. Zoro turned to face him. Sanji held up a hand and began counting on his fingers, “First, don’t interrupt me when I’m with the ladies or cooking.”

“Fine by me.” Zoro nodded, “Don't interrupt me when I’m training.” 

“Okay.” Sanji nodded in return. “Second, no sex in the kitchen. That’s unsanitary.”

“Says Mr. Jerks Off in the Pantry.” Zoro leered.

“The pantry is different. We don’t eat off any surfaces in there and it’s easy to clean.” Sanji said.

“Alright, no kitchen, yes pantry.” Zoro agreed.

“Third, we have to be discreet. Absolutely no one in the crew can find out. I don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”

“Same goes to you, cook.”

“Right. And fourth, I want a trial run.” Sanji finished.

“A what?”

“A trial run. On paper this is all well and good but how do we even know if we’re compatible?” Sanji said.

“Okay...” Zoro considered for a moment. “Now?”

“Wh-what? I just barely finished getting used to the idea of you being a sexual person and you’re suggesting we fuck now? You gonna tell me you’ve got lube in your pocket or something?” Sanji spluttered.

“No, you’re right, we should wait and have something that might not even work out hanging over us until we get another chance.” Zoro said sarcastically. He huffed and scratched his head, “In any case, no, I don’t have lube with me. And I don’t really feel like going full on right now anyway. How about I give you a handjob or something?”

“I, um.” Sanji paused. “Well, that could work actually. Sure.”

“Great.” Zoro said, rising. “Go sit against that tree over there.” He pointed to one of the trees bordering the stream.

Sanji huffed and did so. He didn’t want to do anything the swordsman told him but he also had a bit of a thing for being given directions and he might as well use everything that would make this work. He wasn’t opposed to this arrangement. It solved one of the many problems of living on the sea and it would be nice to have such a convenient solution.

Zoro kneeled in front of him, gently moving Sanji’s knees apart and shuffling in between them. Without taking his hands off Sanji’s knees he leaned forward and looked him directly in the eye.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” Zoro said, and waited.

“What? Why?” Sanji moved his head back with a jolt, as much as he could with the tree right behind him.

“It tends to help people get in the mood.” Zoro said, his voice lower than it had been.

“Oh. Right. Okay fine.” Sanji said. Zoro leaned further in. He was being firm, but he was also giving Sanji time to say yes or no. That said a lot for if Sanji could trust him emotionally. Consent was essential.

Their lips touched and it was nice. Not earth shattering but definitely something Sanji had been wanting for a while. A relief, almost. Zoro’s right hand lifted from Sanji’s knee to cup his jaw, his fingers curving over and the calluses rasping against the soft shell of his ear. Sanji inhaled. Damn, Zoro had already found a sensitive spot. And he knew it too. Sanji could feel him smile against the kiss for a moment. And then he gently bit Sanji’s bottom lip before running his tongue along it. Not to be outdone, Sanji grabbed Zoro by the shirt, akin to how he did when they would fight, and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Zoro’s tongue entered, playing with his own. Damn. It felt good. It might be the shitty swordsman kissing him but Sanji had sorely missed this. His cheeks were starting to flush again, this time for reasons Zoro could easily interpret. 

Zoro’s other hand began sliding up Sanji’s thigh from his knee.

“I’m not there yet, marimo,” Sanji said, pulling away for a breath.

“I know, don’t worry. Hand still on the outside, see?” Zoro replied, lifting his left hand to show Sanji before returning it a little further than it had been. “In any case I’m trying to be smooth, so just trust me.”

Sanji gave him a doubtful look but leaned back in to kiss him some more. Zoro’s left hand slid all the way to Sanji’s hip before moving to the ground to rest beside it. Ah, that made sense. Despite the man’s inhuman core strength, of course it would be easier to make out without having to stay upright using his core only. He leaned in deeper, crowding Sanji against the trunk, filling Sanji's senses. When Sanji would pull back for a breath, Zoro used to opportunity to kiss the corners of his mouth, his cheek, the crease of his eye. These were not the kinds of things Sanji expected from an impromptu handjob in the wilderness. Not that they didn't work. They did, and Sanji was not only surprised at the intimacy Zoro was establishing, but that it was something Sanji welcomed from this particular partner.

Zoro’s right hand moved down Sanji’s neck and then to the buttons on his shirt while his mouth moved to the opposite side of Sanji’s face, kissing at his jaw and then up, catching Sanji’s earlobe in his mouth. Sanji let out a gasp, his right hand moving to clench the back of Zoro’s neck, and his heart began to pump like it had realized they were in this for the long haul.

“I thought this was just a handjob.” Sanji said. 

He wasn’t complaining but this was not what he had expected. His breathing was getting heavier as Zoro continued tracing Sanji’s ear with his tongue. He didn’t usually get going this fast. Zoro was good, and Sanji was hungry . He moved his other hand to Zoro’s back, using both to pull him closer, angling into Zoro’s mouth, hoping he would get the hint that Sanji wanted more. More pressure, more attention, more of Zoro touching him like this. 

“Like I said shitty cook, the mood.” Zoro whispered in reply, as his free hand deftly began unbuttoning Sanji’s shirt. 

Clearly, the mood was being set, Sanji thought.

“Unless you want me to stop.” Zoro said, hand pausing.

“No, keep going.” The hand kept going.

Zoro’s hand reached the last button surprisingly quickly and Sanji had to assume he had practice doing this. Zoro’s mouth moved to his neck while his hand slid under the shirt. Sanji had been right. Zoro’s hands did feel good against his skin. He was getting hot and bothered and all they had done was make out for a bit. He really had been missing human contact.

“N-no hickeys, a-” Sanji let out another pleasurable sigh, “above the collar, Zoro.”

“Sure,” Zoro responded, and Sanji had to take that as enough because he was too into what Zoro was doing with his hand to take the time to stop. 

Sometimes it would brush teasingly over his nipples or push and stretch them, and each time Sanji could feel the arousal in his gut building, Zoro working him up bit by bit. Others times, Zoro’s hand would slide along his sensitive sides or along his back, his nails lightly scratching the skin and pressing into the supporting muscles. The kneading in his lower back felt especially nice, and damn, maybe he could convince Zoro to do more of that later in exchange for something else. The light touches and teasing had him feeling hypersensitive to whatever Zoro did next. The sensation was not unfamiliar but he never expected the swordsman to be someone who could bring it about. And it seemed intentional.

Zoro kissed down his neck, paused just long enough to bring all of Sanji’s attention to the absence of motion, and bit at the muscle joining his neck and shoulder.

Sanji keened .

His hips bucked, his heels diggin into the earth. His hand gripped Zoro’s neck even tighter, his blunt nails digging into the firm flesh, pulling at the short green hair at the nape of Zoro's neck. The other hand was spasming against Zoro’s back and he gripped Sanji's side in return, fingers slotting between ribs, thumb pressing and nail dragging the slightest bit on his nipple. Whether he had meant to steady Sanji or was gripping out of his own arousal, Sanji was not sure. Pleasure from pain was radiating from Sanji’s shoulder, Zoro’s hand creating an aftershock from his grip. The sensation and the rush of blood were making him feel lightheaded. He could feel his pants getting too tight. So much for his night being ruined by his suit getting wet. He tapped Zoro’s back with his hand.

“H-hey. Slow down, don’t laugh, I’m getting dizzy.” Sanji said, out of breath.

Zoro released his grip and jaw and licked the bite mark Sanji was sure he had left, sending a much more manageable shudder down Sanji’s spine.

“Damn, how long has it been?” Zoro asked, as he leaned back, his own breath a little heavier than before.

“Too...too long. Partly because of you I might add!” Sanji said, resting his head against the tree as he got his breathing somewhat in control. “I thought getting dizzy from arousal was a shitty erotica cliche.” 

Zoro waited for him and then asked, “You good to keep going?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” He tapped his back again. “Tapping back in.”

Zoro snorted and then shifted his legs forward, adjusting his weight and spreading his knees wider to sturdy himself. The movement pushed Sanji’s legs wider but at this point Sanji was much more relaxed and willing to make room than when they started. In fact, he was practically on Zoro’s lap. Both of Zoro’s hands moved down to grip his butt and yup, now he really was on Zoro’s lap, back arching a bit as his head rested against the tree behind him, chests almost touching. Well, since he was this close...Sanji waited for Zoro to lean back in and then moved his own hands down to reach below Zoro’s shirt, pushing it up and moving them up Zoro’s back.

Zoro returned to what he had been doing, moving along Sanji’s shoulder, hands kneading the firm muscle of Sanji’s behind. He really was going to have to get Zoro to massage him. The more Zoro worked him, the more he was returning to his previous state, his thighs and back muscles shooting signals of pleasure to his brain. The dizziness had subsided and he was glad for it because he really, really didn’t want to stop. Zoro must have been able to tell what he was doing to him because he leaned back and grinned at Sanji with a hunger he had only seen before a fight. Even if this didn’t work out, Sanji was going to think of this night whenever he saw Zoro make that face. Shit.

“Feeling compatible yet, cook?” Zoro growled.

“Fuh-” Sanji had to catch his breath, “Yes, you shitty swordsman.”

“Good.”

Zoro moved his hands to Sanji’s back, holding it up and creating a steeper arch in his spine, the stretch of which worked for Sanji just fine. Zoro moved his mouth back down and began a trail from Sanji’s shoulder, down his chest, and to the left before he licked the nipple there with a firm tongue that had Sanji arching further, pushing into the sensation, his legs clenching tight around Zoro’s waist. It was like the man knew how to build to varying crescendos in a piece of music.  Satisfying, gut punching crescendos that had Sanji forgetting why he had ever thought Zoro wouldn’t be good at this. Clearly the man knew what he was doing. 

He belatedly realized he had just dragged his nails across Zoro’s back, gripping for dear life.

He got out a muffled, “Sorry-mmnn” before Zoro was doing it again and he wasn’t interested in trying to talk. Sea abound, he had been craving this. Someone else taking control, being able to fall apart in their hands. The security of trust in a partner. Trust which Zoro was very well earning.

“No, you’re good.” Zoro lifted his mouth to say in a low, scratchy voice, the breath blowing across Sanji’s wet skin, sending shivers along his body.

“Huhrmn?” Sanji tried to ask.

“The scratching. It’s good. I like it .” Zoro practically purred the last part as he moved his head to the other side.

“Oh. G--ood.” Breathe, “Good.” Sanji said and then Zoro was licking his other nipple while his left hand came up to keep Sanji's right side occupied. Hardly a break with this man. Not that Sanji wanted one. He was squirming now, needing some, any kind of friction against his pants. Zoro’s back was curved towards him, not particularly positioned to provide friction of any kind, and Sanji was getting desperate.

“Are you there now, cook?” Zoro asked.

“What? Fuck. Yes. Obviously!” Sanji said, huffing.

“Just making sure.” Zoro said mildly. 

Zoro unbuttoned Sanji’s pants, a gratifying release, but none of the friction Sanji needed. Zoro lowered the band of his underwear and was greeted by his cock, hard and more than a little wet.

“Look let me give you a couple tips.” Sanji started, lifting his head to look down. Kissing and the like was all well and good, and good at it Zoro surely was. But this was different and he didn’t want Zoro’s potential inexperience with another person’s parts ending this on a poorly done handjob, no matter if he had done it for himself.

“I know what I’m doing, trust me.” Zoro said a bit too confidently for Sanji’s liking. Who did this bastard think he was? Well, maybe he thought he was the bastard who had gotten Sanji to pretty damn hard without even touching his ‘sword between the legs,’ as it were. 

Sanji shot him a skeptical look, “Yeah, yeah,” he admonished, “but it’s different when you’re with someone else, the angle-” his words were cut off by Zoro taking him in hand, and making a firm motion that had Sanji bucking his hips. Zoro gave him a look with an eyebrow raised.

“Right, okay, you know what you're doing.” Sanji made out, the air escaping through his tight throat, clinging on to Zoro’s neck with both arms now. His hands clenched and unclenched in Zoro’s shirt as Zoro’s unoccupied hand began roaming again. Each time he squeezed, twisted, and flicked Sanji’s nipples he would match it with a swipe of his thumb over Sanji’s head or a little twist going down that exposed the sensitive skin of his head, speed ramping up. Every time he did it was like Sanji jumped a rung higher on a ladder of arousal and he wasn’t sure he would survive the jump from the top.

“Don’t-” Sanji said, muffled, into Zoro’s neck.

Zoro’s hand immediately let go and the absence was like a gut punch. Damn Sanji’s inability to form whole sentences in this moment. Zoro’s other hand moved to Sanji’s back to sweep scratchily under his shirt, fingers pressing into his vertebrae like he was counting them.

“Fuck!! Don’t stop you bastard!”

“‘Don’t’ can mean lots of things, cook. Don’t blame me for your use of words.” 

Zoro’s hand returned to its activities and was bringing the rhythm back up to speed. Sanji was grateful, even if it meant he’d have to fight for words again.

“Don’t what then, cook?” Zoro asked into Sanji’s ear, gently tonguing at it. “Don’t go so fast?”

“Don’t-you-I” Sanji tried again.

“Don’t think you can last, curly brow?” Zoro asked, teasing tone gentle. Was Zoro going to ruin all association Sanji had? Was this just an elaborate plan to make him think of sex whenever Zoro insulted him? No way the marimo had that kind of forethought. Even if he did, Sanji didn’t care right now. Right now, it seemed like an acceptable exchange. Zoro’s other hand had joined and he was changing the pace, working on slow, heavy pressure dragging the skin down, pressing his thumb into the sensitive exposed flesh at the top, squeezing at the base of his head. Not to mention Zoro’s mouth had found its way to Sanji’s unexplored left ear and was drawing a tantalizing map along the ridges and valleys.

It was entirely too distracting but Sanji needed to ask his question. He summoned wherewithal from his stores of daily frustration with the moss head swordsman to find enough clarity to be coherent.

“Don’t you want to get off too?!” Sanji exclaimed, cheeks red. “Shit, I can’t focus when you’re doing that thing with your tongue on my ear! ”

“Oh, can’t you now?” Zoro asked, looking like he had just learned a dangerous secret and Sanji dreaded what he’d do with it.

“Beside the point, shitty marimo. Answer the question.”

“Well, if you must know, I’m quite enjoying making you feel good. Don’t really need to get myself off to thoroughly enjoy getting you off.” Zoro answered with a grin and Sanji felt like ero-swordsman didn’t roll off the tongue quite as well as ero-cook, but it sure fit in this moment.

“Are you sure?” Sanji asked. It wasn’t the first time he had been with someone who preferred to focus on him instead of themselves, but the point of this was to figure out if they were compatible. Focusing on Sanji was good sometimes, but he liked to make other people feel good too.

“If you insist, I can join in.” Zoro offered.

“Um... Yeah, I do.” Sanji said between breaths.

“Whatever you say, cook.” Zoro said and moved his hand from Sanji’s cock to undo his own pants. He wasn’t wearing underwear, which seemed so typical for the lackadaisical man.

They were close enough that Zoro could take both of them in hand, picking up speed. Sanji had thought he would need to let go of his tight grip on Zoro’s body to help out but apparently Zoro planned for this to be a hands free operation for Sanji.

“Shouldn’t I help?” Sanji asked, even as his hands gripped tighter to Zoro. The sensation of Zoro’s own cock against his, the knowledge that he wasn’t just jerking his hips into Zoro’s hand but that he was pushing against Zoro’s cock, the shitty marimo who got under his skin and started fights with him and who he trusted with his life. It almost felt natural, progressing from fighting to fucking, and it was pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He was making sounds he hadn’t made in a long time. He had figured out how to stay quiet when he was on his own, out of necessity, but Zoro was dragging them out of him like a conductor directing a choir. Sanji could only follow his pace. And it felt good.

“If you want.” Zoro answered. Had Sanji said something? He couldn’t remember.

“Wha--?” Sanji got out.

“You can help,” Zoro seemed to be a bit out of breath himself, “but I’m really enjoying how I can tell what does it for you by the way your hands move on my back. Like right now I can tell that moving my thumb like this,” and Zoro demonstrated by dragging his thumb over the tip of the head, then pressing under the ridge while squeezing with the rest of his fingers, a delicious pressure that had Sanji letting out a shout of pleasure.

“F-fuck! Zoro!”

“I can tell that doing that works for you pretty well because your nails are digging into my back like you’re trying to pull me apart. I’m almost worried you’re going to make me bleed.” Zoro whispered into his ear.

Sanji tried his damndest to let up on the pressure of his hands. No way was the marimo going to do this again if he drew blood. Scars on a swordsman's back were dishonorable. And when had he become so invested in this arrangement? Probably when he realized that Zoro knew what the fuck he was doing and it was going to be real hard going back to normal when he knew this kind of thing was an option.

Zoro shook his head the slightest bit.

“Don’t stop. Get as rough as you want: you’re not going to pull me apart, cook. But I am going to make you fall apart in my hands.” Zoro growled the last part into Sanji’s ear and then bit down on his other shoulder, creating a twin to the previous mark.

And with that, Sanji came. Finally, finally, he came. And circumstances be damned, it was one of the best orgasms he had had. Certainly the best since leaving the Baratie. He hung at the peak, high on pleasure and pain, legs clenching tightly enough that despite Zoro’s claim, he was scared he would break a rib or two. His vision went black, stars in his eyes, rolled back into his head. 

After what felt like a short, blissful eternity, his body released and he phased back into reality. His heart felt like it would beat out of his chest and his breathing was heavy like he had run laps around the island.

His vision refocused and he realized he had flung his head back. His head hadn’t hit the tree and he realized why. Zoro had caught him before he could, his fingers curling around the back of Sanji’s head. Oddly thoughtful of him.

Sanji met the man’s gaze. Zoro was grinning; grinning like he knew he was looking at a job well done; grinning like he had just figured out how to cut through steel, again; grinning like Sanji was well and truly fucked, and this had only been a handjob.

Sanji felt him let go of his oversensitized cock, a physical relief that at the same time left Sanji wishing this wasn’t over. Though, it didn’t have to be. Sanji looked down and saw that Zoro hadn’t finished yet.

“Do you want to…?” Sanji asked.

Zoro looked down as well.

“Sure.”

And then there was no more talking because Zoro was kissing Sanji, fiercely, while he worked himself, Sanji's hand helping. His fingers were gripped at the base of Sanji’s skull, pulling him closer, kissing harder. He broke for a breath.

“Pull my earrings.” Zoro said hoarsely before going back in to kiss Sanji more.

Sanji did and his reward was Zoro coming, adding to the mess already on Sanji’s stomach, Zoro moaning into Sanji’s mouth, and his nails dragging not unpleasantly along Sanji’s scalp as he clenched his fist in his blonde hair.

“What happened to you two?!” Nami exclaimed at the sight of them when they returned to the Merry. Their clothes were crumpled, patched with dirt, and Sanji had bits of bark in his hair.

They exchanged a glance. Sanji broke it to pull a drag from his cigarette, hiding his reddening face behind his hair. Zoro looked at Nami and smirked.

“We fell in a river.”