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“You know, you’re not gonna get what you want by staring at her, Bradford.” Angela’s voice broke through his fog of frustration.
He pulled his gaze away from the bar and turned back to his friend, grimacing as he did. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Angela snorted. “Like hell you don’t. I’m just saying, there are more effective ways to accomplish your goals. Say, like, actually talking to her.” She nodded towards the scene behind Tim.
“You watch too many movies,” he dismissed, trying to focus on the drink in front of him, rather than what was happening a mere 10 feet away. It was better to feel the burn of the bourbon as he knocked back the rest of his glass than the knot his stomach was tying itself into. “Need another?”
“I’m good for now,” Angela replied, smirking at him like she knew a big secret. It annoyed him to no end how she could see right through him. So he dealt with his annoyance like any other grown man would - by ignoring it and going to get another drink.
It was loud in the bar, packed with people, and TVs blaring all around the room. Normally the noise didn’t get to him, but tonight everything felt a little too bright, a touch too loud, a bit too jarring. But contrary to Angela’s implication, it couldn’t be related to a certain former rookie sitting at the bar. Why would he be bothered if Lucy were there, getting a drink after shift? That’s what he was doing himself. Hell, they went together half the time. And even if they hadn’t gone together, they both ended up there often enough.
The bar itself was crowded as he approached it, ending up just a couple feet away from her. He nodded and gave her a half smile in acknowledgment. It took a minute to get the bartender’s attention and by the time he had ordered his next drink, and one for Angela, knowing she’d have finished hers before he got back, some slimeball in a golf polo and boat shoes had sauntered up.
Tim couldn’t hear exactly what the guy said, but her laugh in response caused his fist to clench. Luckily, his drinks arrived and he could get away from the whole scene. If they sloshed slightly as he grabbed them off the counter, no one noticed, least of all him.
“Here,” he said gruffly, putting the drink down in front of Angela and dropping into the chair opposite her.
“I thought I told you I was fine,” she said, picking it up greedily.
“Yeah you did, but I know you. You always finish your drinks right after someone offers to get you one, then you pout when you have to go get it yourself.” His tone was smug as he continued, “So the way I see it, I just saved you time and money, so you owe me. Next round’s on you.”
“Whatever.” Angela rolled her eyes. “Now, let’s see. Who can we hook you up with?”
“Angela, no.”
“Angela, yes.” She stared pointedly at him. “Come on Tim, if you’re going to refuse to admit what you really want, then we might as well put that energy into finding someone new. It’s been what, six months since things ended with Rachel?”
He winced. “Not quite. Just about five.”
She waved off his reply. “The point is, you need to get back out there. So, what are you feeling tonight? Blonde? Redhead? Brunette.”
“Stop,” he growled. It was a miracle the glass in his hand didn’t shatter with how tightly he was gripping it, knuckles blanched completely white, tension rolling off him in waves.
“Soooo, not a brunette. I wonder why that is.” If looks could kill, Angela would have been the biggest mess the coroner had ever seen. “Okay, okay!” She held up her hands in defeat. “I’ll stop, but you have to admit you’re not hiding it very well. Maybe not everyone picks up on it, but I’ve known for you too long. I see you. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll drop it for tonight. But it’s there and you know it.”
He huffed a sigh and turned away from Angela to glance back at the bar, just in time to see the walking Ralph Lauren commercial moving away from the bar, leaving Lucy on her own. Good, Tim thought. She deserves better. A split second thought of heading over to her himself flitted across his mind, but before he could act on it, another man had walked over to her. It was as if she was a light in the dark and all the moths were drawn to her.
From the angle he was at, she couldn’t see him, but the man talking to her could. And he paled a bit at the fierceness of Tim’s patented intimidating Officer Bradford glare. A moment later, the man had mumbled something to Lucy and taken his leave of her, cutting the conversation short and casting a nervous look at Tim. She looked a bit surprised for a beat, then turned back to her drink, letting it roll off her.
“Well, if you don’t have anything more to say, I’m gonna head out,” Angela said, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“What? Already?” He blinked in surprise.
“Tim, it’s pretty clear the person you want to be here with isn’t me,” she said patiently. “Plus, Wes just texted that he’s on his way home with dinner. And if I don’t beat him there, he’s going to pick some seriously stupid home renovation show to watch tonight, and I can only take so much boring.”
Chuckling softly at her derisive tone, colored with her affection for her fiance, he faced his friend. “See you in the morning. Last one to roll call brings the coffee.”
“I take mine with two sugars,” she snarked, breezing past him to leave.
“Yeah, yeah. See ya, Lopez.”
He watched her wave as she walked away. And just like that he was alone at the table. The alcohol had mixed with the knot in his stomach, combining into something truly uncomfortable. Briefly he considered getting another drink, or four, just to try and drown it out. But that would mean he’d have to take a cab home, and the hassle of retrieving his truck in the morning, plus he wasn’t as young as he used to be and trying to run patrol while nursing a hangover, even a slight one, was completely unappealing. With a sigh, he stood up and made his way to the bar to settle his tab. While he was waiting for his receipt, yet another creep had sidled up to Lucy.
The pick up line was awful. Seriously, who fell for that? There was a small bit of relief at hearing the small laugh Lucy gave wasn’t her genuine one. He hazarded a quick glance at her, trying to gauge how she was reacting. She had her drink pulled close to her and was definitely not making eye contact with the guy, only giving short answers. It was the classic response from a woman who wasn’t interested, but didn’t want to make a scene either. And a guy who wasn’t taking the hint. Men like this pissed him off at any time, but right now Tim wanted to deck the guy and drag him out by his collar.
After one more suggestion from the guy that he buy Lucy a drink, and her polite refusal, Tim had had enough.
“She said no, douchebag,” he growled.
The man turned to him, clearly surprised. “What’s it to you? I’m having a conversation with this nice lady and no one asked you.”
“This nice lady has told you no more than once and you’re still pressuring her. So if you won’t listen to her, maybe you’ll listen to me.”
“Tim, it’s fine,” Lucy broke in, trying to de-escalate the situation. She has seen Tim when he was spoiling for a fight more than once and his current expression was all too familiar.
The other man sneered. “See? She said it was fine. Now run along and leave us alone.”
“The only one running along is you, but you’re right that alone is what you’re going to be.” Tim puffed out his chest and drew himself up to his full height. Weasels like this guy were usually spineless once shown any kind of challenge and Tim would use every bit of intimidation he had to send this guy packing.
It worked.
The guy threw another look at Lucy, saw that she wasn’t smiling and honestly, wasn’t even looking at him, but instead glaring at Tim. Knowing the battle was lost, he shrugged and walked away, grumbling under his breath.
“You’re welcome,” Tim said.
“Knock it off,” Lucy barked. Her eyes were hard as stone, clearly upset with him.
“What did I do?” he asked, affronted. Didn’t he just help her out?
“I had it handled,” she replied frostily.
Tim scoffed, “He wasn’t listening to you. I thought you’d appreciate the help.”
“I didn’t need your help!” Her voice was getting more angry with each word. “I’m not some lost little girl in need of her big bad T.O. to swoop in and save her from a random creep in a bar.”
Her words hit him like a punch to the gut. It had been a night just like this, with some smooth talking guy at a bar, that had almost caused him to lose her. She had been buried alive and needed CPR, for heaven’s sake, and it had been Tim’s fault that Caleb had ever gotten that close to her. He knew she could take care of herself, but he wasn’t ever going to let that happen again.
Registering her own words, and the memories that both of them were clearly reliving, her eyebrows shot up to her hairline and all the anger immediately evaporated. “Wait, Tim, that’s not what I meant.”
“No, it’s fine. I get it,” Tim said, drawing his walls back up. “I’ll leave you alone.”
“Tim, wait,” she pleaded, reaching out to grab his arm.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said as he shrugged her off. “Night, Chen.”
And with that, he turned and walked himself out of the bar, into his truck, and drove home, berating himself the entire way.
* * * * *
Forty-five minutes and two beers later, Tim was wishing this day would just end. Even the Rams game wasn’t capturing his attention. He kept replaying the whole evening in his mind, wishing he had just gone home, instead of out with Angela. If he had just done that, then the whole mess could have been avoided. He wouldn’t have had to watch all of those guys hitting on Lucy, wouldn’t have butted into things, and definitely wouldn’t have fought with her. But now, he was pretty sure that Lucy was furious with him and would never speak to him again.
Why did that thought gut him? Most rookies that he trained, he sent them on their way and worked with them when their paths crossed, but he didn’t really keep in touch with them. But he had kept in touch with Lucy, riding together some days, and meeting up outside work often. And now the idea that she wouldn’t want anything to do with him left him feeling like he’d been hollowed out.
A banging on the front door pulled him from his reverie.
Opening the door, he found a very angry Lucy Chen on his doorstep, looking like she could spit nails.
“Boot?” he asked, rather astonished that she was there.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she thundered.
“What?” he stammered in reply, still shocked she’s even there. He stepped back, to give her a little bit of space. And with that, Lucy stormed into his house, whirling on him in the entryway.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Her eyes shone with fire. “You think it’s your job to step in and control who I talk to?”
“No, I swear-”
“You think that you can just scare off anyone who ever approaches me? I can decide for myself who I want to speak with!”
“That wasn’t-” No matter how he tried to interject, she cut him off, hands flying everywhere, showing just how worked up she was.
“That’s exactly what you were doing! Don’t think I didn’t notice you glaring at the one guy who scurried away. And then you had the balls to come over and start threatening that other guy, like some jealous boyfriend.”
“He wasn’t listening to you,” he tried to explain, his own temper beginning to flare. “It’s not like you were into him anyway.”
“Oh, and you know what it looks like when I’m into someone?” she challenged.
“Yeah, I’d say I do,” he barked.
“You think you know me so well,” she shot back.
“Too well,” he spat.
“It goes both ways, Tim,” she said. “I know you too. I can see when you’re acting out with anger, when you’re really trying to cover up fear. So, tell me, what are you so afraid of?”
The silence hung between them for a moment while he let her question sink in. What was scaring him?
Her. The thought of losing her was exactly what had been terrifying him.
The realization washed over him like a bucket of ice water dumped on his head. He was in love with Lucy Chen and that sick feeling in his gut all night? It was jealousy. She was right.
And now what was he going to do about it?
“Well?” she demanded. “Are you going to actually answer or are you just going to shut me out again?”
He winced at the hurt in her voice, knowing just how much he had shut down on her. Yet, she was also one of the very few people he’d ever let down his walls for. She had worked her way into his heart without him even realizing it. And his life wasn’t complete without her. Time to man up, Bradford, his inner voice lectured.
“Fine, I’ll leave,” she said, fed up with his silence.
“Wait!” he cried, desperate to stop her.
“Wait for what?” she huffed.
“For this.”
With that, he surged forward, capturing her lips with his, drawing her closer with his hands on her face, burying his fingers in her hair. He poured every bit of affection and devotion inside him into the kiss, trying to convey with action what he was failing to express with words.
She was startled by his quick action, but responded almost immediately, kissing him back and wrapping her arms around his neck. That movement spurred him on and he pushed her back against the front door, not even daring to take a breath. Responding in kind, she melted against his body and pulled him in tighter. He might have known that she’d be just as fearless and dedicated to this as she was with everything else. A soft moan escaped her as he pulled back slightly.
Their foreheads rested against each other as they tried to calm their breathing.
“What was that?” she asked.
“That was a kiss, Lucy,” he said smiling. “Oh man, your parents didn’t teach you about the birds and the bees?”
Her laughter rang out as clear as a bell. “Not that, I know what kissing is,” she said. “I meant, where did that come from?”
Once again, her question brought him up short. How do you tell someone that you’ve been in love with them for months, when you only just realized it yourself 30 seconds prior?
“Umm…”
“Don’t tell me you did that just to shut me up,” Lucy snickered. “Because that’s only going to work-”
Tim cut her off with another kiss. He knew they needed to have this conversation; it was important and they both deserved getting everything out in the open. But that could wait. There were more important things right now.
* * * * *
The next morning Angela is in the roll call room, practically preening because for once, she beat Tim there. Finally, she catches a glimpse of him coming in behind Nolan and Smitty, just a minute before the briefing is set to begin.
“Yo, Bradford!” she calls. “Where’s my coffee?”
“Right here, Lopez,” he says, shoving the red paper cup at her.
“Oooh, you even sprung for the good stuff,” she praises. “Colombian dark roast and everything. How did I get so lucky?”
“Figured you deserved it,” he replies, a soft smile on his face.
“I always do,” she says loftily. “But is there a specific reason?”
Tim refuses to make eye contact with her, instead choosing to focus towards the front of the room, where Chen, West, and Nolan still insist on sitting. “You were right.”
“Of course I was,” she says smugly. Before she asks her next question, she looks closer at Tim, seeing a dreamy, soft smile on his face that she’s not sure she has ever seen before. Following his gaze, the pieces fall into place. “Oh damn, Tim. Good thing we’re riding together today, because I’m going to need that whole story.”
And she gets it.