Chapter Text
Esca feels Marcus’s eyes upon him and waits for the inevitable that he knows is coming. And when it doesn’t come, it hits him harder than any blow ever could. Now he must decide what course he wants to take. He’s not surprised when it leads to Marcus. Nor is he surprised that freedom has bound him with thicker chains than slavery ever did. And now? He does not mind their weight. He will miss them when Marcus has gone. But he didn’t know how much until Marcus is returned to him.
~*~
Esca held the feather up to the light coming in from the window and examined it closely. Then he nodded, satisfied, and set it off to the side with the other trimmed feathers. Selecting another, he looked at it carefully and laid it on the table, holding it still while he shifted his grip on the small, sharp knife in his hand. He paused, knife poised over the feather, at the sound of a rider approaching. He cocked his head, listening intently. Two horses, and louder than anyone from the village would have been. There was also no call of greeting. Perhaps a merchant, then, lured out by the villagers’ promise of a man who would pay good coin for certain goods. It happened often enough, though by now most merchants traveling to the village knew him.
He returned his attention to the feather, trimming it carefully as he waited. The expected knock came shortly after, and Esca called out, “A moment!” He finished shaping the feather, then set it and the knife down. Rising, he wiped his hands on his tunic and crossed the room to open the door to see who had come all the way out to see him.
Marcus stood at his his door.
At the sight of him, Esca was struck dumb. For a few wild heartbeats, he wondered if it was a trick, a vision conjured by his mind after so many years of waiting and wanting. But no, the Marcus standing before him now was not the same one who had ridden off all those years ago. He was older, silver at his temples, bronzed face lined with both weather and time. He seemed bigger, too, if that were possible; not taller, just thicker and heavier with muscle. Perhaps it was just the years apart, time and distance diminishing Esca’s memory of his stature.
“Esca?” Marcus asked quietly, breaking the the silence. His voice was a little rougher, a little deeper than Esca remembered, but so familiar, so missed that it brought Esca back to himself. Without thought, he stepped forward and pulled Marcus into a hard embrace, one that was returned with just as much fervor a moment later. For long minutes, he simply enjoyed the feel of being in Marcus’s arms.
Eventually, he pulled back. Though he was loath to let Marcus go, they could not stand in front of his door, holding each other for the rest of the day. He was unashamed when he had to wipe a hand across his eyes before he could see clearly, especially when he saw that Marcus was just as affected. “Come,” he said, turning and leading Marcus inside. “You must be weary from your journey.”
He poured water for both of them, and set out some fresh bread and cheese, but neither of them paid much attention to it. Marcus wiped his hands and face with a damp cloth Esca gave him, scarfed a few mouthfuls of food and drained his cup, his eyes never leaving Esca. Just when Esca thought he could take no more waiting, Marcus pushed his platter away and stood.
Esca met him halfway and their mouths came together so sharply that Esca tasted blood, his teeth catching Marcus’s lip. He licked it away, until there was just the taste of Marcus. When they paused to breathe, panting in the still air, Esca pulled them across across the room, to the doorway of his bedchamber, and then down onto the wide, low bed inside. Hands fumbled at clothing until they were both gloriously naked.
He’d wondered if he would have forgotten what Marcus liked, but as soon as he had his hands on him, the worry fled. Everything that Marcus liked, what he responded to best, came back to Esca immediately, as if he’d only been gone a short while. As much as he wanted Marcus, and could feel how much Marcus wanted him, Esca took his time. There were new things to explore on Marcus’s body, new definitions of muscle, new scars and calluses. Esca wanted to know the story behind them. And in the near future Esca would have Marcus tell him while he mapped them with lips and tongue, committing them to memory.
And as intrigued as Esca was with Marcus’s new body, he could tell Marcus was just as fascinated with Esca’s. Esca, too, had changed, more than Marcus, with muscle added to his lean frame and new scars dotting the landscape of his skin. But he’d also added more tattoos, the markings now flowing across the left side of his chest and down his arm. Marcus traced them with careful fingers, running callused fingertips along the whorls and swirls. As Marcus would tell the story of his scars, someday Esca would tell him the story of his tattoos.
Eventually, all the careful, light touches could not stand against their impatience. Esca fumbled for the small flask of oil he kept nearby, and pressed it into Marcus’s hands. Marcus wasted no time slicking his fingers with Esca parted his legs without hesitation. He had to grit his teeth to keep himself from telling Marcus to just get on with it; he intended to spent a great deal of time in bed over the next few days, and he didn’t want to be sore. For his part, Marcus seemed just as determined to do the same, and he prepared Esca as gently and as carefully as he could, without making both of them go mad from the waiting.
And then, finally, Marcus was easing between Esca’s thighs, cock already hard and glistening with oil. He paused, just at Esca’s entrance, and looked up. His green eyes were bright with desire and relief and pain and love--everything that Esca felt as well. Esca tightened his hold on Marcus, pulling him closer, urging him in, and with a single cry of, “Esca!” voice wrecked with need, Marcus thrust forward and in.
It was over too soon, both too desperate with need to draw it out. Marcus came first, and Esca bit back a groan of frustration until Marcus wrapped a thick hand around his cock and stroked him to completion. He slumped back, panting, listening to Marcus try to regain his breath as well. He had to grin when he heard Marcus’s breathing even out and deepen, and felt his body relax. Well, Marcus’s day had been no doubt more tiring than his. Esca could let him sleep. Burying one hand in Marcus’s black hair, he made himself as comfortable as he could beneath Marcus’s bulk and closed his eyes.
~*~
Esca woke after a short nap. Given the position of the sun—setting, but not much lower than it had been—only a little time had passed. Marcus still slumbered, but Esca had no real desire to wake him. Instead, he continued to lie quietly, his hand stroking through Marcus’s hair.
Until Marcus’s arms had closed around him on his doorstep, Esca hadn’t realized just how much he had missed his Roman. In order to prepare for the worst, he had told himself that Marcus hadn’t meant that much, that what they’d had could be found again with someone else, though he never had. And he’d done a good job living by that, right until Marcus had returned. Now that Marcus was real again, present and in his arms, he could admit to himself that he’d never really expected to see his lover again, that he’d believed Marcus would be taken from him forever by an errant sword stroke, a pretty face, the promise of a family, or even just the honor of Rome. So many ways Marcus could have been lost to him, and yet here he was. He’d come back to Esca, and everything was suddenly vivid and bright, as if all the time spent waiting had been in shadow.
Eventually, Marcus began to shift, slowly coming back to wakefulness. Esca waited until he saw Marcus’s eyes blink open, and drowsily look up and focus on him. “Hello,” Esca said, when he saw that Marcus was truly awake.
“Hello,” Marcus replied, and then gave a jaw cracking yawn. “Have I slept overlong?”
“No, not too long.”
Marcus smiled, then carefully lifted himself and shifted himself off Esca, both of them hissing as their skin pulled apart. Esca made a face. They would need to bathe, but that could wait. Marcus settled himself next to Esca, and they both shifted until they were comfortably wrapped around each other. Neither spoke, content just to hold one another. Esca wanted to, wanted to ask Marcus about what his life had been like, wanted to tell him what he had done, but he didn’t know how to start, didn’t have the right words to begin.
The rumble of Marcus’s stomach interrupted his thoughts. Marcus laughed ruefully.
“Did you not eat during your travels?” Esca teased.
“I did,” Marcus replied, grinning. “But I was more concerned with traveling quickly than filling my belly.”
There was something painfully vulnerable in Marcus’s expression, and Esca realized that as much as he had never expected Marcus to return, Marcus must not have believed that Esca would still be waiting for him. He bent his head and brushed Marcus’s mouth with his. “Let’s see you fed then.” He slipped from the bed, pulling a face as he shifted and realized the more urgent need to wash.
He lit some lamps to push away the growing darkness, then set some water to heat over the fire and pulled some clean cloths from a chest. While they waited for the water to warm, Esca gathered together what prepared food he had, though it wasn’t much. Bread, cheese and dried meats were his staples in the warmer months when he didn’t wish to bother with cooking, though he had some smoked fish as well, and a few early fruits.
“I’m sorry it isn’t much,” he apologized as he set the food down on the table, fetching mugs of beer to wash it down.
Marcus shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve had to get by on much worse.” He paused, looking down and focusing on his plate. “And I’d rather eat the simplest meal with you than any senator’s feast.”
Esca smiled and reached across to touch Marcus’s hand, Marcus turning it over to clasp their hands together. They ate in silence, looking up and catching the other staring before laughing ruefully. When they were done, the water was warm enough to wash with, and they scrubbed at their skin with the cloths and a lump of soap Esca brought out. They rinsed with cool water and dried themselves. Esca wondered if they should perhaps get dressed, but night was falling and he suspected they were only going to end up in bed anyway. Marcus seemed to feel the same way because he only glanced out the window and asked, “Will the horses be all right?”
“They should,” Esca replied.
“Good.” Without another word, Marcus reached out, took Esca’s hand, and led him back to bed.
This time, their lovemaking was lower, less frantic than their first time. Esca reached for the oil, but only to slick their cocks up. He was still loose from earlier, but right now he just wanted the feel of Marcus against him. He pushed Marcus onto his back and climbed atop, clinging tight to Marcus’s shoulders and sucking marks into his collarbones while Marcus grabbed his hips and moved them together.
Esca finished first, biting down on Marcus’s shoulder as he came. Marcus groaned and shuddered, coming soon after. He slipped Esca off of him and left the bed briefly to fetch a damp cloth. He cleaned them both up and then slipped back into bed, pulling Esca against him, back to chest, and curling around him.
Marcus sighed behind him, breath brushing across Exca’s ear “I have missed you,” Marcus said lowly, tightening his hold so that Esca couldn’t have gotten away unless he struggled, not that he wanted to. It was nice, tucked into bed, next to someone he cared so deeply for. Suddenly, he stiffened, remembering old words spoken in a promise. He shrugged off Marcus’s hold just enough to turn over and looked at him in the dim light.
“I made you a promise when you left.” Marcus’s brow furrowed and Esca wiggled a hand free to smooth it away. “I love you,” he said simply and Marcus gasped. “I wasn’t sure I could say it and mean it until you came back, but I have felt it every day you’ve been gone.”
“Esca,” was all Marcus managed to say before buying his face in Esca’s neck. Esca didn’t say anything else, just held Marcus close until they both fell asleep.
~*~
The next morning, they woke leisurely, lingering in bed until Esca finally decided they had to rise. They ate a quick meal and pulled fresh clothes on. Marcus wrinkled his nose a bit at his, and Esca promised that they could all be laundered tomorrow.
Marcus looked around, clearly interested in Esca’s home. “Would you show me around?” he asked.
“Of course.” He gestured around them. “This is the main room; I spend most of my time here. And you’ve seen my bedchamber.” Marcus grinned. “There are a few more rooms, though. Come.” Esca led him back through a short hallway, showing the small pantry where he kept food, and then another small alcove for other sundries. There was another bedchamber, though it stood empty, and at the very back of the small house, a door led out to something that resembled the open porticos of Roman villas. There was no marble, of course, but wide flagstones had been laid down and smoothed with care. Wooden posts, some carved with British designs held up the roof, exposing all three sides to the open air. Against the wall of the house were two small benches. Marcus looked at Esca. The bedchambers in the home had seemed more Roman than British, but there was no mistaking this for other than what it was, a piece of Roman life within Esca’s home
Esca rubbed at the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “I hoped,” he said simply. “I did not know if you would return, or if you would even stay here if you did. I thought that having a little something that reminded you of home might help, if you chose to stay.”
Marcus still looked a bit stunned, but then smiled, the lines on his face deepening. “Thank you.”
Shrugging, Esca turned. “I haven’t shown you the best parts yet. Come on.”
He led Marcus out to the field where the horses were, spending a good deal of time looking over Marcus’s two before showing him the rest of the small herd. “I breed them,” he explained. “I started about five years ago.”
“A most noble pursuit,” Marcus approved. “They look like fine animals.”
Esca grinned, combing his fingers through one of his mare’s manes and pulling some grass from it. “I bought a rather fine stallion from a merchant who didn’t quite know what he had.” He nodded to the chestnut stallion grazing at the other end of the pen. “There’s always a need for good, strong horses and there are always people who pay well for them.”
“They’re beautiful,” Marcus agreed.
Marcus helped Esca make sure there was water for the horses and then they left to continue exploring. Esca showed him the sheep and the goats, the lambs and kids gamboling about, explaining how far his land extended and what could be found on it. Marcus seemed impressed by what he saw, asking insightful questions, and they walked and talked for a long time, lost in the minutia of raising animals and using the land.
By the time they returned to the house, the sun was high above their heads and they’d worked up a sweat and hunger. Esca frowned at his stores of food. He had plenty, but most was still preserved. He’d intended to go fishing today and hunting in the next few. He and Marcus could still go finishing in the afternoon, but he might put off the hunting for a few more days. So, bread and cheese it was for them and he chopped a few raw vegetables for some variety. While he readied the food, Marcus sluiced himself with a bucket of water. Esca took his turn as well and then joined Marcus at the table.
When they were done and cleaned up, he got his fishing supplies and handed some to Marcus. Then they headed out to the stream. It was a nice afternoon and they discussed the changes to the area and the village while they caught fish for their dinner. Marcus seemed interested in the minutiae of the area, which caught Esca by surprise. But he had lived in the area for nearly three years, had been concerned for the village after the uprising. That he wondered what had happened to it in his absence made of sense.
When they had caught four fish, silvery and fat, they pulled in their lines. They cleaned the fish at the riverbank and then carried them home. Once back, Esca built up a fire and set them to cooking in a pan along with some more vegetables. Marcus busied himself with his pack, keeping it hidden away from Esca, and Esca didn’t pry even though he was curious. When he stood up, he was holding a cloth wrapped bundle in his hands. It clattered slightly when Marcus set it on the table, but he didn’t say anything about it.
When their food was ready, they ate, and then wandered out to the small portico, Esca bringing a small flask for them to share. They settled themselves on a bench, passing the flask back and forth every so often, watching the run set in peace.
“I hadn’t thought to still find you here,” Marcus said suddenly. “I had expected you to have left.”
“And where would I go?” Esca asked.
“Anywhere. Back to your home. At least somewhere with better memories.”
Esca shook his head slowly. “My home is gone. Even if there are people living there again, all my kin are dead, and I won’t live surrounded by their ghosts. And as for here?” He gestured to the lands surround them, drink swishing in the flask he still held in one hand. “I have only good memories of this place.”
“But the fort,” Marcus insisted. “And the soldiers in the village. Doesn’t it...?”
“Bother me?” Esca finished. “Why should it? I never see the fort and I encounter the soldiers so infrequently that they hardly are worth my notice.”
Marcus frowned and leaned against him. “I was a slave, Marcus. I have made peace with that and I’ll not allow Rome to have anything more of me. This place is good for me and I have fond memories of it as well.” He smiled up at Marcus and finally the troubled expression on Marcus’s face fled, replaced with his own smile.
“Still, I’d have at least thought to find you with a pretty wife and a half dozen fat children.”
Esca made a low, agreeing sound. “I’d thought that might have been a possibility as well.” Marcus deserved honesty, even if the truth might wound him a bit. “After you left, Aisling and I....” He shrugged. “We had an understanding. I think if there had been a child, we would have married. But there wasn’t. She found a good man who could give her more than I could a couple of years later.”
“I find it hard to believe you couldn’t provide for her.”
“I didn’t say I couldn’t provide, just that there was much I couldn’t give her. I could not give to her, not any of the others that followed, what I had already given to you.”
Marcus’s face turned soft and pleased, the faintest of blushes high on his cheekbones. “You were at least happy? Tell me that.”
“I was,” Esca agreed, lacing their fingers together. “Happier now, though.” They sat in silence for a while longer before Esca spoke up. “And you, Marcus? Were you happy?”
Tipping his head back to lean against the wall of the house, Marcus thought for a while before he answered. “I was...content,” he said eventually. “It wasn’t easy, to do as you asked. But it was better than being lonely, in stewing in my maudlin thoughts. “Speaking of which....”
Rising to his feet, he gently untangled their hands. “One moment,” he said and hurried back into their house. Esca watched him go, startled that Marcus had barely been here a full day and Esca was already considering the house theirs.
As he said, Marcus was back only moments later, holding the small bundle he’d removed from his pack. He set it on his lap, then bit his lip and looked at Esca. “Each place I went,” he began, “I always thought about you, even when I took a lover. And since I didn’t have anything to remember you buy, I bought gifts that reminded me of you.”
There were five objects within the bag: a pale white comb made of bone, a bracelet of carved wood so dark it was almost black, a necklace of bright glass beads, an arm cuff of hammered bronze, and a small dagger, no longer than his hand with a worn leather grip. There was a reason behind each one, of why Marcus had chosen that particular item, Esca knew, but now was not the time to ask. There were memories tied to them, of what Marcus had lived through and the people he had loved. They created a story for Marcus, to share when he was ready.
Esca tucked the items back into the bag carefully and handed it to Marcus, who looked relieved that Esca wasn’t asking any questions. Marcus set the bag by his feet and took Esca’s hand in his once again. There was a feeling of anticipation in the air; they were at the crossroads, where what they did next would decide their future.
“So,” Esca said, squeezing Marcus’s hand, “will you stay?”
“For as long as you’ll have me.”
“Then you will stay forever, for I’m not letting you leave me again.”
Marcus smiled, as wide and bright as Esca had ever seen him and he swallowed hard against the thought that he would get to wake up to that smile for the rest of his life. He stood, tugged Marcus to his feet beside him, and led him inside their home.