Chapter Text
They had agreed to never discuss that night. It had just been one night, a lot of liquor that led to some pretty amazing sex, but that was it. At least that was all it was supposed to be. Caitlin Snow often found herself dreaming about that night all over again, which made it difficult sometimes to look Barry Allen in the eye as they worked together.
The first month was the worst, but it looked like they had started to get past it. Cisco Ramon and Harrison Wells had known something was going on, but had not questioned. Or at least, Wells hadn’t questioned and stopped Cisco from doing so when curiosity was getting the best of him.
Just as things started to ease, Caitlin started feeling ill. Nothing serious that she could tell, mostly over tiredness and nausea. She realized something was really off when she was acutely aware of the different aftershaves the three men she worked closely with. She had told Wells she was heading home. Seeing how pale he woman was, he hadn’t stopped her.
Once home, she was immediately ill. She made a note to call in for some soup that would keep her stomach settled, her cheek resting against the cool of the toilet lid. Her eyes fell on her feminine supplies she hadn’t put away yet. It took a moment but a sudden thought hit her when she realized that said supplies she had bought over two weeks ago when she realized she’d been out and her period had been due any day.
It never came.
Sitting straighter, Caitlin quickly did a mental count and felt panic rising in her chest. She pressed her hand to her rapidly beating heart before getting shakily to her feet. She made her way out to her living room and picked up a nearby planner she kept track of things in to count for certain. She thumbed through the pages, her heart dropping to her toes as she realized what the possibility meant. She quickly grabbed her phone and made an appointment with her doctor the next morning and grabbed her coat to head to the nearest drug store.
~~
Caitlin stared at the stick in her hand, simply staring at it. She was sitting on her bathroom floor against the door, her knees curled to her chest. After peeing on the stick as the instructions told her to, she took up that position and waited the agonizing few minutes necessary. Once the timer on her phone went off, she had moved just enough to see the results.
That had been an hour ago.
She hadn’t moved or stopped staring at the stick that had given her news that was going to change her life forever. Her phone buzzed with a text, startling her out of her single focus. She glanced down to see it was from Cisco, asking if she was all right.
How could she possibly tell him that she was far from all right? Instead, she picked up the phone and quickly tapped out a message that she was fine and would see him the next day after an appointment she had.
After hitting send, she realized she couldn’t stay there all night. Getting to her feet, she carefully set the stick on the back of her sink, her eyes taking in the two distinct lines one more time before she washed her hands. She needed to get something into her stomach, despite the nausea and unease she felt. She would get concrete confirmation at her doctor’s appointment, but it now appeared she had someone else other than herself to take care of and she wasn’t going to fail at that.
Once Caitlin finally got to bed, she couldn’t sleep. Her entire night was haunted by the two lines she saw on the home pregnancy test she had taken. She was nauseous still, and though exhausted, sleep was not coming to her at all. She had fallen into a fitful state of sleep sometime around 4am. By the time she officially rose to get ready for her doctor’s appointment at seven, she was already exhausted again and starting to get a headache.
Reaching for her normal cup for her coffee, she paused. She really needed to find out the rules on caffeine consumption now. She turned her coffee pot off and turned to grab some water out of her fridge before heading to shower quickly and dress. Despite the headache, she really did want to get further confirmation from her doctor about what she could and could not take.
By the time she finished her shower and got dressed, her head was feeling a bit better. The heat and steam from her shower had helped a great deal. Taking a deep breath, she headed to her doctor’s office.
~~
Caitlin was aware of the distinct male voices that were talking, or in Barry and Cisco’s cases laughing, as she walked into S.T.A.R. Labs a couple hours later. She saw the two men playing an interesting game of ping pong.
Wells was the first to notice her, seeing the rather stunned and worried look on her face. He frowned, wondering if it had anything to do with why she hadn’t felt way the day before. He kept watching her from where he sat, noticing that she was mostly in a daze, even as Cisco called out to her.
“Hey Cai—no cheating!” Cisco slapped the ball towards Barry, who looked poised to use his powers.
“Me? Never,” Barry said, grinning boyishly.
“Barry, can we talk?” Caitlin called.
“Sure just—Cisco!” Barry swatted the ball back to the other man, laughing.
“It’s important,” Caitlin tried again.
“Just a sec,” Barry said. “We’re almost done.”
Caitlin sighed, rubbing at her forehead. “It really is important,” she said.
“Caitlin, we’re almost done,” Cisco said, laughing at Barry trying to hit the ball behind his back.
“It really can’t--.” She was cut off by the boys cheering about a couple of good moves they both made, laughing as they continued to play.
“Barry, I’m pregnant!” Caitlin finally snapped. Silence fell in the room, except for the sound of the ping pong ball hitting Barry’s chest and bouncing onto the table before rolling off to the floor. The three men gaped at Caitlin.
Caitlin lowered her head with a sigh. Her headache was coming back full force as she rubbed at her forehead, hoping to stave off the pain until she could get home. She had a list of things she needed to pick up, including prenatal vitamins and doctor approved medications she could take that wouldn’t harm the baby.
“You’re… what?” Barry asked, his voice slightly higher than normal.
“Pregnant.”
“As in…” He made a rounded motion near his abdomen.
Caitlin sighed again, her hand falling to her side. “Yes, Barry,” she said. “As in with a child. Bun in the oven. Mom to be. As in I have another human life starting to grow inside of me that’s half me.”
“And half me?” Barry winced the minute that the question left his mouth. Not just because of Cisco dropping his ping pong paddle as he gawked between his two friends, but because of the sheer hurt, then fury that washed over Caitlin’s face.
“Yes,” she ground out. “And half you. I wasn’t exactly sleeping with anyone since Ronnie died the night we made a drunken mistake at that reception, and I’ve not exactly been rolling around the sheets with anyone since.”
“Cisco, lets give them some privacy,” Wells said.
“Don’t bother,” Caitlin said. “I’ve said what I had to.” She could feel tears burning the back of her throat and she quickly spun, regretting it as she wobbled. She hurried as quickly as she could towards the door.
“Caitlin,” Wells called. She didn’t stop as he called out to her, not slowing at all until she was sitting in her car. She felt tears welling and slipping onto her cheeks, but she refused to break down until she was far from the lab and inside of her apartment.
Even once she got home and inside, she didn’t collapse in on herself like she wanted to. She hurried to her bedroom and got a suitcase, quickly throwing items in that would last her at least a week. She needed to get away. She was suddenly feeling as if her entire world was collapsing. A sob finally broke loose and her chest tightened as she plopped on the edge of her bed, letting emotions take over.
The amount of pain Barry’s words had inflicted on her were hitting her hard. She never once thought she would ever feel anything again after Ronnie had died, but she knew she had to have felt at least a small amount of attraction to Barry to even give over to drunken lust. Now here she sat, pregnant with the man’s child and he questioned that child’s paternity, immediately thinking that if she had had a drunken night with him, why not with someone else?
Caitlin took a moment to just cry, letting the emotions release enough that she could get up and move again. It took almost a half hour before she could gather herself up and haul her suitcase down to her car. The last time she’d made the trip, she had taken the train, but it would do her some good to focus on driving instead of the completely emotional upheaval she was now going through.
Stuffing her suitcase onto her trunk, Caitlin got behind the wheel. She put the car in gear and quickly headed towards the interstate that would take her out of Central City for a bit. She headed in the only direction she could think of.
Straight towards Starling City.
~~
“You know, we should probably eat something,” Felicity Smoak said as Oliver Queen kissed just below her jaw. “Before we get too busy.”
“Food can--,” his response was cut off by the light knocking on the door.
Felicity frowned as she looked at the door then at him. “I am not expecting anyone,” she admitted.
Oliver was on his feet immediately and heading towards the door. A light hand around his wrist stopped him. He glanced at Felicity, arching an eyebrow. She shook her head fondly and walked to her door, peeking through the hole. She blinked and stepped back, opening it to Caitlin.
“Caitlin,” Felicity said. “What are… what’s wrong?” She could tell the other woman had been crying. “Is everything all right?”
“I know… I know it’s unexpected,” Caitlin said, her voice thick with tears. “May I come in?”
“Of course,” Felicity said, reaching for Caitlin’s wrist to draw her inside.
“Oh,” Caitlin said, pausing as she saw Oliver. “I didn’t realize you had…”
“Company?” Felicty asked. “Not really…” She smiled at Oliver softly.
“Oh…” Caitlin shifted. “I… I should…”
“Caitlin, is everything okay?” Oliver asked, frowning. He stepped up to Felicity and both focused on the other woman, noting how rigid she held herself.
“Yes, is everything okay?” Felicity asked. “Is Barry--.” His name had barely passed Felicity’s lips before Caitlin’s tears started fresh and slipping down her cheeks. It was obvious that whatever resolve the woman had was quickly crumbling.
Felicity hurried forward and wrapped her arms around Caitlin, holding her close. She glanced at Oliver, obvious confusion on her face.
“Why don’t I go out and get something to make for dinner?” Oliver said. “Give you two time to talk.”
“Thanks,” Felicity said for both of them. Oliver gave her a soft smile before grabbing his jacket and quietly leaving the apartment.
“Come on, let’s sit,” Felicity said, leading Caitlin over to the sofa to sit. She got the sniffling woman to sit down before moving into the kitchen to put some water on to make tea. She would let Caitlin speak when she was ready. She just didn’t expect it would take as long as it was so far.
The silence was starting to get to Felicity until the water started to whine and hiss, indicating it was ready. She busied herself making tea for them both, bringing the cups over to where Caitlin sat. She saw how shaky the other woman was, wondering what had put her in such a state.
“I’m pregnant,” Caitlin finally whispered.
“Oh,” Felicity breathed out. “Wow. I… didn’t realize you had been seeing someone.” Oh Barry isn’t going to like that… she thought to herself. Despite his denial of his emotions when they had all been in attendance at John Diggle’s wedding just a couple months beforehand, it was obvious that Barry had at least a growing crush on Caitlin.
“I’m not,” Caitlin said, her voice shaking. She took a sip of her tea, trying to steady her nerves. “Barry’s the father.”
Felicity was very glad that she hadn’t taken a drink of her tea yet. If she had, she would have quickly spit it out in shock. “You… Barry… you and Barry?” she finally stammered. “As in… you actually… wow.”
“Wow?” Caitlin asked.
“Well it was obvious Barry seemed to be getting a crush on you, but you never seemed very interested, but admittedly you two did look really chummy at Digg’s wedding and it just… oh.” Felicity saw how red Caitlin’s cheeks got at the mention of Diggle’s wedding and the pieces fell into place.
“So not planned, huh?” Felicity asked softly.
“Drunken sex or the pregnancy?” Caitlin asked, trying to offer some levity, but she found her own sense of humor lacking on the best of days. Today was not one of her better days.
“Does he know?” Felicity asked.
Caitlin laughed sardonically. “Yes, he knows,” she said, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“Oh no,” Felicity said. “What did he do?”
“Essentially implied I had slept with someone after him,” Caitlin said. “And therefore questioning if he was the father.”
Felicity closed her eyes a moment, shaking her head. She tilted her head sideways. “Dummy,” she whispered. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at Caitlin. “Not you, that’s the dummy. I meant him, because he… well he’s an adorable dummy.”
“Good way to describe him.” Caitlin cradled her teacup in her hands, staring into the liquid. “After I told him, I packed a bag and left.”
“And he let you?” Felicity asked, feeling anger building over Barry’s stupidity.
“I told him at the lab,” Caitlin said. “Then went home. He probably doesn’t know I’ve left yet.” She swallowed, feeling her throat tightening. “I just… I just need to figure some things out, you know?”
“Are you…” Felicity looked for the right way to phrase her question. “Are you keeping the baby?”
“Yes,” Caitlin said without question. “That part I figured out on the drive from Central City.” She sipped her tea. “But I need to figure out if I want to stay in Central City.”
“You’d leave?” Felicity asked, surprised.
“I don’t want Barry to feel like he has to be with me because of this baby,” Caitlin said.
“That’s not your decision to make,” Felicity said. Caitlin looked at her sharply, the blonde lifting her hand to stave off any protests from Caitlin.
“You need time to adjust,” Felicity said. “Stay here with me and Oliver in the guest room for a little bit, but you can’t run and hide from Barry either. This baby is his too.”
“I don’t want to trap him,” Caitlin said quietly.
“Which is admirable,” Felicity said. “Because it’s not the most ideal situation, admittedly. But you can’t make all the choices for the baby. If he chooses to not be apart of your lives, that’s one thing. Until he makes that choice, which would be dumb if he did, you shouldn’t make any decisions for him or without him when it comes to the baby.”
“I just need some time,” Caitlin whispered.
Felicity set her cup down and moved over to Caitlin, hugging her close. “I know you do,” she said quietly. “You can have that here.”
She looked over to the door as Oliver came back in, groceries in arms. He tilted his head to the kitchen, earning a soft nod from Felicity as he disappeared to make them dinner.
“I think I should lie down,” Caitlin said. “I haven’t really… not since my appointment.”
“Of course,” Felicity said. “Let me show you the guest room.” She rose and led Caitlin to the guest room in the fairly large apartment. Once she was certain the woman was resting, she headed back down to the kitchen.
“She okay?” Oliver asked, glancing up from the chopping board.
“She will be,” Felicity said, leaning her hip against the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest before looking at Oliver. “She’s pregnant.”
Oliver paused, looking at her. “I didn’t know she…”
“Barry’s the father,” Felicity said. Oliver stopped completely and set the knife down, focusing on Felicity.
“Barry is?” he finally said.
“Apparently they had a one night stand the night of Digg and Lyla’s wedding,” Felicity said. “He apparently didn’t exactly react well when she told him.”
“Didn’t react well how?”
Felicity winced a little. “Potentially implied it wasn’t his?”
Oliver sighed, getting a far off look. “I can understand that sort of reaction,” he said, thinking about how his mother had questioned him in his own situation.
“Thinking of Sandra?” Felicity asked quietly. While it had been difficult, she had come to terms with the knowledge that Oliver had a son with another woman. It had been almost easier to come to terms with it because Sandra Hawke had kept the boy from Oliver after getting a payoff from Moira Queen.
“Yeah,” Oliver said, returning to the meal he was preparing. “It’s not an easy thing to hear, especially when not a couple.”
“Think they’ll get through it?” Felicity asked.
“I think so.”
~~
After a week of ignored texts and calls, Barry finally had Cisco ping Caitlin’s phone. He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was in Starling City. He knew that if there was anyone she ever thought she could turn to, it was Felicity.
He wanted to use his super speed to get there, but he refrained. He also knew that if he barged in like a superhero, he’d end up with an arrow in his ass from Oliver. Or worse. One of the famous Smoak looks. He’d rather avoid that.
Instead he calmly walked up to Felicity’s door, knocking when he got there. Oliver opened the door. He stared at Barry a moment before he gave a small nod and stepped aside to let him in. Felicity rose from her seat on the couch.
“Caitlin,” she called. “There’s someone here for you.”
Caitlin had been resting, though not very well. She had started feeling some morning sickness hitting her more, so she was often up and down. She frowned lightly when she heard Felicity’s call. As she came down the stairs, she stopped at the bottom when she saw Barry.
“Hey,” Barry said, shoving his hands into his front pockets.
Felicity looked between Caitlin and Barry. She said nothing even as she reached down and grabbed her purse and keys. She walked over and took Oliver’s hand before she finally spoke.
“We’ll leave you two to talk,” she said. Neither Caitlin or Barry said anything as Oliver and Felicity quietly left.
“Look, Barry,” Caitlin said. “I don’t expect--.”
“Caitlin, wait,” Barry interrupted, moving towards her. “I need to apologize.”
Caitlin’s brow furrowed. “For?”
“I made an ass of myself,” Barry said. “I implied something pretty vile and I… well it was wrong. I’m sorry for that. Even if I was shocked by what you said, I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
Caitlin crossed her arms over her chest, shifting so she wasn’t doing so tightly. Her breasts were too tender to hug herself close as she would have. “You really hurt me when you said that,” she said quietly.
“I know,” Barry said quietly. He moved even closer to her. “I really am sorry.”
“I just wanted you to know,” Caitlin said. “I don’t expect anything from you.”
Barry swallowed. “Caitlin…” he started. “I’ve been thinking a lot since you told me. And well… I don’t know what you want to do…”
“Are you implying I have an abortion?” Caitlin demanded, jumping to the wrong conclusion.
“No!” Barry said, his eyes wide. “No, that’s not!”
“Then what?” Caitlin asked.
“I just wanted to say that whatever you decide, I’m behind you completely,” Barry said. “If you want to put the baby up for adoption, I… I’ll understand and sign where I need to.” He put his hand up before she could yell at him again.
“But if you are going to keep the baby, I just want you to know that I want to be apart of the baby’s life. Both of your lives. I promise to be the best father I can,” he rushed on. “You’re not alone in this.”
Caitlin seemed to deflate, her eyes filling with tears. “Really?” she asked.
He nodded. “Really.” He didn’t expect Caitlin to break down or to hurry into his arms, squeezing his waist as she hugged him. He wasn’t going to argue, and it felt right as his arms wrapped around her and he returned the hug, pressing his lips to the crown of her head.
“I promise, Caitlin,” Barry murmured against her hair. “You’re not alone.”