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Lee Minho likes to get time off on occasion. Who doesn’t? But to achieve his leisurely days of relaxation, he is forced to resort to sometimes completely flat out lie to the rest of his members. Whenever he feels the need to relax, Minho would fake sickness for a day or two. He would fake a fever in the morning by putting the thermometer in some tea for a few seconds and fake cough and sneeze to seal the deal. He made sure not to do it too often, just every one or two months when he needed it.
The members already know that he has a shitty immune system and gets sick frequently. Their busy schedules sometimes got so hectic and all Minho wanted was a little bit of rest on occasion. Just a day where he could stay home and relax. Most of the time, he would spend his sick days wrapped in a blanket on his bed or he would park himself on the couch in front of the television.
Of course, Minho believes in working hard and sometimes he does indeed feel bad for missing out on schedules and lying to his group, but sometimes things were just too much and he needs a day where he isn’t drowning in busy schedules. He needs a day where he can completely relax; to the point where his brain gets fuzzy and the negative voice in his head can grow quieter for the moment as that floaty feeling increases. And it’s not like he fakes sick all of the time and he always made sure to take his sick days when they aren't working on anything too important.
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Today is one of those days. Practice had been especially draining the other day and Minho feels like he can barely muster the energy to get out of bed. All he wants is a simple day or two of relaxation and maybe to be pampered by the other members a little bit. When he wakes up, he makes sure to let out a few coughs and sniffles. As he enters the kitchen, he pretends to double over with a fit of sneezes, then proceeds to give Chan a raspy greeting. BangChan just gives Minho a look, as the younger coughs a few times into the crook of his elbow, before Chan sighs and grabs the thermometer and a mug of tea.
“Again, baby? How the hell do you manage to get sick so much? ...Here. Open,” Chan instructs and then pops the thermometer in Minho’s mouth and turns back to the stove. Soon he passes Minho a steaming cup of tea, while Minho comments on (complains about) Chan not letting him drink his regular coffee in the morning. Chan scoffs and shakes his head before going back to the fridge to get more food out for breakfast. (Although BangChan is not the best cook, it is his turn in the rotation to make breakfast for the group and his food normally turned out tasting pretty damn good.)
With Chan’s back turned, Minho does as he usually does, sticking the thermometer in the tea for a few minutes. However, this time his scheme is discovered by none other than Kim Seungmin. Seungmin, being the early riser like he usual, rounds the corner and enters the kitchen. Minho, having his back to Seungmin, has not even noticed the other boy entering the kitchen. In his head, he continues happily planning out what he would spend his free time doing today. Seungmin freezes and cocks his head in confusion at the sight of his hyung sticking a thermometer in his warm cup of tea. He watches in silence and after Minho takes the hot mug and presses it against his forehead, he quickly realizes what the older is up to. When Chan turns around, Minho is quick to shove the thermometer back in his mouth. Chan feels his head while Minho makes more sniffling sounds, waiting for him to read the temperature. Chan frowns, looking down at the thermometer in his hands.
“Your temp is a bit too high. I think you have a fever again. Back to bed, Minho. We need you back to full health for tomorrow.”
At that Seungmin scoffs, making his presence known in the kitchen. Minho’s eyes widen as he turns around, wondering if he has been found out by the other boy. Seungmin smirks at his boyfriend and proceeds to tell Chan what he had walked in on.
“He’s faking it. I saw Minho-hyung put the thermometer in the tea while your back was turned. He doesn’t have a fever.” Heat starts rising to Minho’s cheeks, making his ears turn red as Seungmin stares right back at his hyung, grinning at having caught him and tattling to their leader.
“What? He’s not telling the truth is he, Minho? You’ve been coughing and sneezing so much. And besides, what reason do you have to lie about being sick?” Chan responds.
Seungmin shrugs, “If you don’t believe me, take his temperature again.” Chan looks down at Minho, but the other decides not to respond because either way he has been found out. BangChan sighs and sticks the thermometer back into Minho’s mouth. After a few moments, he takes the thermometer back out and peers at the numbers. Chan is surprised to see his temperature has gone way down and his fever has completely disappeared.
“The hell,” Chan mutters. “What the fuck, Minho? You faked being sick? You lied to me?” Minho sputters, his face turning even more red in shame.
“You obviously aren’t sick, so why would you lie about something like this? Come to think of it, you get sick a lot. Were you faking all those other times too? Is this funny to you? You enjoy lying just so you can get out of schedules, while the rest of us have to work our asses off for the group and you sit at home relaxing? Answer me, now.”
Minho curls in on himself under Chan’s enraged glare and angry words. He responds sheepishly in a small voice, “I- I just- I just wanted a day to relax. I don’t know. I just want a break and I only sometimes do this, like once every couple of months," his voice trailing off at the end. Minho can’t bring himself to look up from where his feet stand on the kitchen floor. He starts to feel a bit dizzy, his thoughts flying and mind racing at having been caught. Chan stares at him, astonished and extremely displeased. By then the rest of the members have come out for breakfast and Hyunjin stands in the doorway with the rest of the members behind him, unsure of what he is walking into and confused as to why one of their boyfriends is currently yelling at the other.
“Do you mean to fucking tell me that all those other times you’ve been sick, you were faking just to get a day off? That’s unbelievable! The rest of us have to work hard, while you get to relax alone at home. Don’t you think that we are all tired and want a break just as much as you do? That’s incredibly immature of you. You’re a hyung. Start acting like one.” The other members stare wide-eyed at the hostile words coming from Chan’s mouth. Minho had been faking sickness to get out of schedules?
Chan continues, “You definitely will not be staying home today. I will also be having you wash the dishes for at least a month to make up for your actions. Don’t make me make it two. And you will be staying longer at practice today to improve for our next album. If you ever try to pull this stunt again, I will not be as forgiving. It isn’t okay to lie about something like being sick. Faking illness once every couple of months is extreme. You’re the second oldest, stop acting like a fucking child! We are all tired, Minho. ...I’m disappointed in you.” With that Chan leaves the room to start getting ready for the day because unlike some people, he will not be slacking off. Minho just stares down at the floor in shame. His head fogs up and his eyes water as it seems all he can hear are Chan’s harsh words in his head even after he had stopped reprimanding Minho. Seungmin moves around him to plate up breakfast, which causes the other members to awaken from their trance and start making their way into the kitchen and settling around the dining table.
Minho continues to stand there as tears burn his vision, the voice in his head getting louder and repeating the things Chan had said to him. Minho no longer feels hungry. Although his feet feel like dead weight, he manages to make his way to the bathroom to start getting ready for the long day ahead of him.
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It is tense in the dorms for the next few weeks, especially the same day Minho had been found out. His boyfriends are annoyed with his behavior and Chan has even given him the cold shoulder for most of the day. Everyone else is at least a little upset with Minho for lying to them and doing something as silly as faking illness. It isn’t fair that Minho gets to rest, while the others are also tired from schedules and have work they need to get done. Their leader eventually somewhat forgives Minho or at least stops treating him so coldly. He can see where Minho was coming from, even though Minho had acted immaturely and irresponsibly.
A couple of months after the outburst had occurred, things had returned to somewhat normal. The members of Stray Kids were getting ready to film their new music video, which they had been working hard on for weeks. Although they were all exhausted from the constant vocal lessons, grueling late-night practices, and the stress of getting ready for promotions, Stray Kids were happy with the way things had turned out and looked forward to the new album release. Things are mostly okay for Minho that morning, however, when he first wakes up, a spell of dizziness hits him as soon as he starts walking. He passes it off as standing up too quickly, even though his whole body does feel kind of stuffy and his eyes and nose are insanely itchy. He walks into the kitchen, in his hazy mind not registering that the others sat at the kitchen table, and attempts to rid his stuffy nose by blowing it.
The action does not pass by the rest of the members, Chan, being the leader, sighs and says sternly, “Minho, we do not have time for your pretending. We need to film this music video and get ready for the album. Stop slacking. There’s no way you’re getting out of this.” Minho tries to respond but he is interrupted by his own sneezing and an uncomfortable itch that starts climbing up his throat.
“I swear I’m not trying anything, my nose is just itchy this morning, that’s all. I’m not sick,” Minho insists.
Seungmin chimes in next, “Yeah right, hyung. We know you’re just trying to delay our shoot today. Suck it up and quit with the faking.” Chan mumbles something else as the rest of the members walk out of the kitchen. But another dizzy spell hits Minho and he can only hear the rushing in his ears, drowning out his leader’s words. All he can make out are the words, “...selfish little brat.”
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Minho coughs for what seems like the millionth time that morning, making his throat feel scratchy and horrible. He truly doesn't know why he is sneezing and coughing so much and tries to tell everyone as much. Minho promises that he isn’t trying to get out of the shooting for the music video, but they all just don't listen. They are all getting very annoyed with his coughing and fed up with the way their member is acting.
“Hyung, fucking cut it out already. We’re already about halfway through filming. If we were going to fall for it, we would have already. You’re not actually sick, so stop trying to convince us otherwise. God, you’re being annoying, hyung.” Changbin mutters, huffing before he storms off to film his part in the video.
The others keep glancing at Minho, who tries to stay at least a little bit farther away from the others to make them less annoyed. After Changbin’s words, Minho feels like he is going to cry. “Stupid, stupid, stupid”, he thinks. He can’t cry, that would make him weak and they are already mad at him enough. It doesn’t help that his headache is steadily increasing, until it is a dull pounding, almost throbbing in his head. He is honestly surprised the others couldn’t hear his migraine or how fast his heart is beating, but then again he is not in a clear headspace right now.
He sneezes harshly, his vision starting to swim and he almost can’t tell which direction is up or down anymore. He vaguely registers his knees hitting the ground, before the fuzz in his brain clears and he blinks his teary eyes back into focus.
“Seriously, hyung?”, mumbles Felix. Even being the sunshine he is and one of the most caring of his boyfriends, Felix has grown annoyed with Minho’s antics. Chan and Hyunjin don’t even bother to look back, with Jisung scoffing at him, then turning back around.
“Everybody knows you aren’t sick, hyung. Stop faking it, it’s getting on all of our nerves. Is your plan to annoy us enough that we take you home, just to get you to stop bothering us, and then you can get your precious beauty sleep?”, Jisung says, clearly pissed off and fed up with his hyung’s mood.
“He’s acting like a child, Jisung-hyung. Just ignore him, he doesn’t deserve your attention,” Seungmin replies in response.
Hyunjin lets out a cold chuckle stating, “Maybe we should just send him home. All he’s doing is holding us back and bothering everybody.” Everybody laughs at this. Minho feels his stomach churn as the words they said play in his head on repeat. None of them even believe him. This is his fault for faking sick and causing them to not trust him anymore. Did he mess everything up?
This reminds him of how everyone acted when he came back after being eliminated. Don’t get him wrong, everybody was happy to have him back, but there was still this space that stood between them. He felt like he didn’t belong for the first few weeks back. That he wasn’t good enough. This feeling of not fitting in and not belonging is something he had felt more often than he would like to admit. He was the first to get eliminated on the survival show and although he had improved since then, he knows he is so much less talented than the rest of the members. Especially after they had all gotten in a relationship had Minho really started to feel this way. He felt like he didn’t belong. His boyfriends were and are perfect for one another and they are all so talented and incredible. Whereas he is rude, cold, and doesn’t know how to express his emotions well, much less be in a relationship with seven other people. And now this. Does he even belong in their relationship? Should he even be in the group if his own members don't trust him? God, he really is selfish and acting like a child. That insult somehow hit him the hardest and he feels his head grow fuzzier again, a feeling he isn’t sure is only there due to sickness.
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They got through the shooting, more and more insults being thrown at Minho. He takes them all without saying a word, without trying to defend himself again because he knows they won’t listen. Their words hurt, but he understands why they are upset with him. He just wishes they could stop yelling. Everything is getting to be too much. The sky is super bright during their shoot and the constant talking and instructions from the staff are starting to hurt Minho’s head. A feeling buzzes uncomfortably underneath his skin and he feels disgusting. Minho can feel every drop of sweat on his body and he is hyper-aware of whenever someone touches his arm to adjust his position or to lead him somewhere. It feels like he is being burned alive and his head feels warm and feverish, his movements sluggish.
They move back outside after Minho has finished his individual scenes, which have taken a lot longer than they should have and annoyed the staff greatly. Once outside, everything feels like too much. He can hear his members' voices all laughing and joking without him. “Ha, it’s not like they need you. It’s not like they even want you here. They’d be so much better off without you...Didn’t you hear what Hyunjin said?”, the voice in his head mocks him. Everything feels hot and sticky and if somebody touches Minho right now, he is going to scream. “And what would that do? Make them hate you even more?”
His coughing is bordering on painful and each cough rips through his body and feels like red-hot fire is being shoved down his throat. The sneezing is making him dizzy and it does not help that he hasn’t eaten anything this morning, not being able to bring himself to stomach down breakfast. “It’s not like you deserve it anyways. Look at how much of a burden you are. Didn’t you hear your hyung? All you are is an insufferable brat. You’re a fucking child.” Minho wants to pound on his head in frustration to get the voice to shut up. With being sick it feels like everything is out of his control. He can’t even stop the intrusive and bad thoughts from running circles in his head.
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Minho luckily makes it through the shooting and is successful in restraining most of his coughs. He still sees out of the corner of his eyes how his other members roll their eyes or scoff every time he sneezes and tries to play it off as allergies. Logically he knows that if it was really something serious, all he needs to do is go up and tell the manager, as well as Chan. Pulling them to the side would be easy and he could try again to convince Chan that he is actually sick. However, he can’t bring himself to do it. Whether it is his stupid pride and ego getting in the way. Or it is the voice in Minho’s head taunting him. Or maybe even the fear of disappointing his members. Of letting them down again. Of making them, his family, even more mad at him than they already are. He just can’t bring himself to try and talk to Chan. He decides he will just have to suck it up and try his best. Besides, it isn't that bad.
Finally getting in the van at the end of filming, Minho makes sure he walks there faster than the other members. The rest of them taking their time to talk and walk slowly towards the car. He quickly pulls open the door and settles himself in the backseat, closing his eyes tight to try and ward off any unwanted tears. The few minutes of silence in the car are almost worse than being overwhelmed by all the talking and noises outside. He lets the voice in his head consume him, his thoughts running almost as fast as his heartbeat. As he hears the other members enter the car, he turns his head more towards the side of the car, as if to shield his face away from them.
“Lee Minho,” Chan’s voice booms in the small, confined space of the vehicle. Minho almost lets out a whimper, wanting to cover his ears to block out the sound and the disappointment in his hyung’s voice.
“What the fuck is up with you today? You were giving a lousy effort if that. You made filming last way longer than it needed to. All of us are tired, Minho, and you have no excuse for slacking off. Why can’t you work as hard as the rest of us? You aren’t sick, SO STOP FUCKING ACTING LIKE THIS, NOW!”, Chan finishes with his face flushed red in anger. Their leader usually isn’t one to get that angry at the members of their group and only yells in extreme cases, but he has gotten little to no sleep for the past few days. So Chan has a short temper and Minho is acting way out of line and holding the rest of the group back, which isn’t fair to him or any of the others.
Minho flinches at the words, trying his best to hold back the big fat tears that threaten to roll down his face. “You are such a fucking crybaby. Can’t even be reprimanded for something clearly your fault without wanting to cry like a fucking child. Pathetic”, the voice scoffs at Minho. He unconsciously makes himself even smaller and curls in even closer to the wall, while squeezing his eyes shut so hard that it makes his head spin. His body shakes as soundless coughs erupt from his throat, jarring his already aching body.
“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you Minho-”, Chan exasperatedly says. Minho knows that if he lifts his head, the tears will be inevitable and he would make his boyfriend even more upset. He curls himself into an even smaller ball and looks down at the hands in his lap, which grip painfully onto the opposite arms, his nails digging into the skin. He is surprised there are no bruises or blood from doing this for practically the whole day to distract from the voices of his members and himself.
“‘M sorry, hyung”, Minho manages to quietly choke out.
Chan sighs, having calmed down a little, and mutters, “It’s not just me you have to apologize to." Minho’s eyes burn at the disappointment laced in Chan’s words and he no longer can help the handful of tears that start to slowly run down his face, making his eyes sting and eyelashes glisten and stick together.
Minho stays silent the rest of the car ride home. He isn’t sure if he could talk even if he wanted to. He is just so overwhelmed and wants nothing more than to get home and lock himself into the bathroom for at least two hours to hide and calm down. He wishes he could be anywhere but sitting in the car with his other members. Minho feels horrible after having been scolded for not doing well at the music video shooting and with his body spasming every him he tries to make his coughs soundless. Suddenly he just has an overwhelming urge to sleep. He wishes he could be under his covers with the curtain pulled around his bed or hidden away in the closet in their room. Someplace small where he could feel better and a place where he wouldn’t be annoying the rest of his members and where he wouldn’t have to feel his stomach lurch with guilt every time he looked at one of them. So he keeps silent and keeps his body turned away from his members’ laughing and happy voices. “I should have just stayed eliminated.”
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When it is time to get out, Minho waits until the others have all exited the car before he climbs out himself, the rest of them seemingly not realizing he is still in the back seat or just not caring. Minho makes his way in through the front door and hears Seungmin starting to make dinner with Changbin whining at him to cook his favorite meal. He hears Chan yelling at them to stop fighting and Jisung and Hyunjin’s voices complaining about not getting their choice for movie night. Felix and Jeongin are sprawled out on the couch, not even bothering to look up when Minho walks in the door. Minho can hear Innie debating with Felix on what to pick for his choice of movie. Minho quickly (or as quick as he could manage without passing out or falling over) scrambles off to his room. Although he does share this room with other members, they are all out in the kitchen or living room, so he knows he will not be disturbed.
Minho lets himself crumble to the ground as soon as the door is shut. He lets out a sob, yet is interrupted by another coughing shaking his whole body. The force and intensity of his coughs are honestly starting to scare him and Minho is unsure of what to do. This just makes him cry even more, tears streaming down his face as he struggles to get air into his scratchy throat. Minho feels absolutely disgusting in more ways than just one and can’t bring himself to get up from the ground and head into the bathroom or change and hop into bed. He knows he must look horrible, with tear tracks running down his face, makeup smeared around his eyes making them look red and bloodshot, and his nose practically dripping. His lips are red from biting them to suppress his coughs and crying, and his hair an absolute mess from pulling it to try and get some relief from the feeling bubbling up inside him.
Minho doesn’t know how long he stays on the ground for, but soon Jisung is knocking at his door, “Hyung, dinner is ready”.
Minho tries twice to open his mouth and force words to come out before he can finally answer (albeit with an unsteady voice) that he isn’t hungry and will not be joining them for dinner.
“Hyung, none of us ate lunch, so you come and eat dinner. Besides, I frankly don’t care if you come or not, but Channie-hyung won’t let us eat if he doesn't have all of us at the dinner table,” Jisung calls from outside of Minho’s door. “I told you he didn’t care. None of them do. You aren’t worth it.” Minho sighs at the voice and doesn't respond to Jisung for a bit while suppressing his coughs and shudders so his boyfriend won’t hear.
“I’ll be out in a second”, Minho finally mumbles in reply. Even though he isn’t hungry, he knows Chan will force him to eat either way. Jisung leaves and Minho quickly tries to become more aware of his surroundings, blinking excessively to stay in the moment and out of his head. He eventually makes it to the bathroom, the sight in the mirror almost making him cry again. He nearly throws up but instead tries not to think about it.
He reprimands himself in his mind, telling himself to not be a baby and that he can take care of himself. He manages to somewhat clear the fuzz inside his head and wipes his nose, fixes his hair, and splashes water on his face to make it less puffy and red. Minho finally deems that his appearance is fit to go out and eat dinner, just as Seungmin knocks on his door again since Minho had been taking too long. Minho opens the door and quietly shuffles out, not muttering a word. Seungmin rolls his eyes and walks faster to get ahead of him.
They both make it to the table, Seungmin a stride faster than Minho. Nobody bothers looking up at Minho as he sits down and tears again start to build in his eyes. Soon conversation starts again, with Minho zoning out for most of it. The zoning out helps lessen the need to cough and it feels as though he can turn his brain off as the exhaustion catches up with him. But this does, however, further increase that fuzzy, floaty feeling he had been experiencing before and he is unsure whether this is a good or a bad thing.
However, he can not suppress every single urge to let out a cough. He feels the next cough rise in his throat and knows it’s going to be a painful one and that he will be unable to stop it. The cough rips through his body and soon turns into a full-on coughing fit, leaving Minho gasping for breath and dizzy by the end. He can feel the glares of the other members and senses the tension rising in the air. And Chan has decidedly had enough.
“SERIOUSLY, MINHO? STOP IT WITH THIS BULLSHIT! ALL YOU'VE DONE TODAY IS HOLD US BACK BY DELAYING THE SHOOT! AND NOW WE CAN'T EVEN ENJOY A SIMPLE DINNER TOGETHER! WHAT? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE US FEEL BAD FOR NOT BELIEVING YOUR SHITTY ACTING TODAY AND LETTING YOU HAVE THE DAY OFF? GET YOUR FUCKING ACT TOGETHER AND CUT IT OUT!” Everyone is flabbergasted at the outburst. None of the members have ever seen Chan that angry and unfriendly. Minho has completely frozen. The voice doesn’t even need to taunt him, as the only thing he can hear is Chan’s voice yelling over and over again in his head.
“-ung. Minho-hyung!” Minho doesn’t even realize he has zoned out and quickly zones back into the conversation. His eyes snap up to Hyunjin, the one who called him and who is currently sitting across the table, and then just as quickly he looks back down at his plate. Everyone seems to have gone back to eating in silence after Chan’s outburst. He sees Chan, also sitting, out of the corner of his eye and can see he has calmed down significantly but is still fuming. Hyungjin lets out a loud sigh, causing Minho to flinch, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Jeongin at his side.
“Are you going to eat, hyung? Both Seungmin and Felix worked hard on making food for us. It’s rude of you to not be eating what they made”, says Hyunjin. Minho looks down at the untouched food that he has been playing with for the entirety of dinner, not having much of an appetite nor the energy to pick up his utensils and feed himself.
“...M’ not hungwy”, Minho says, his words slightly slurring together and his shoulders tensing at being asked questions.
“Speak up, hyung," Jisung mutters off-handedly from his other side, looking at his phone and not even paying attention to the conversation anymore.
“I-It’s okay. Hyung doesn’t have to eat if he isn’t hungry," Felix says hesitantly. He is starting to get a bit concerned for his Minho-hyung, as it does seem weird for him to still be trying to fake sickness and also because his boyfriend has been silent for the majority of dinner.
Jeongin clears his throat when it seems obvious that Minho is not going to respond. “Anyways, let’s clear out plates and get to movie night”, hoping that it will cheer his hyung up to watch a movie all together. He feels a little bad for how much he and the other members had yelled and what rude comments they made to Minho today. At first he, too, was very much annoyed, but looking at their boyfriend now, he sees that Minho does look rather pale and discerns that maybe they had gone too far with their words.
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Minho still sits at the table while the others bring their dishes up to the sink. The words Chan had yelled along with all of the others' words from today keep repeating, bouncing around in his head. And soon he can’t tell if these words are what the members said to him or if it is just his own voice in his head.
He begins to hear the laughter filtering in from the kitchen area behind him, as everyone else cleans up. “Look at them having so much fun without you. Wow, you really are useless. They probably don’t even want to be in a group with you, much less be dating you. All you’re doing is holding them back. They don’t even want you here. Stray Kids would be so much better without you. They don’t love you, you selfish fucking brat. You’re such a baby. They don’t want you.” Minho’s vision blurs as tears swarm his eyes and he bites his lip to keep from crying, but he knows it is no use. He feels so many fucking emotions all at once and the voice in his head is getting louder and meaner with every second. All of the words that have been said to him and all of the things he has messed up today, combined with the fact that he actually is very sick, make Minho lose any control that he previously had over the situation.
Minho begins to cry and the painful sob that rips out of the throat has everyone from the kitchen stop laughing and turn back towards the table. The members are in shock. Changbin can see Minho’s shoulders visibly shaking as his crying grows increasingly louder, the sobs continuing to bubble up from his throat and burst through his lips before he can even stop them. The sobs hurt his already abused throat and that only makes him cry harder. All the members can do is stare in shock, unsure of how to handle their strong boyfriend, who usually has trouble even just expressing his feelings and emotions, crying his eyes out at the dinner table. None of them have ever seen Minho cry since the survival show and even that was never this much. Before they can even react, Minho somehow manages to stumble to his feet and scurry away from the table.
Minho’s mind is a mess of emotions and thoughts. He is so incredibly overwhelmed and feels so incredibly sick. And it hurts to see how nobody even cared to check on him, even if he is selfish for thinking such. He can’t control his sobbing and each cry hurts his throat, leaving him to gasp and whimper, trying desperately to get some air. His whole body is shaking with such force and soon he can feel his stomach churning and knows he can’t stay in the kitchen.
He scrambles to the bathroom, just barely making it before he empties his stomach into the toilet. His knees hit the solid ground and Minho can’t stop the tears still streaming down his face. After he is done throwing up, he continues to dry heave, trying to get some air despite how his lungs protest.
The members finally snap out of their shocked state and quickly run to the bathroom calling out Minho’s name. They arrive and the sight they see is pitiful. Minho is kneeling on the ground, clutching his stomach, his hair a mess and his nose snotty and disgusting. Chan quickly gets on the ground next to the shaking boy as he continues to cry painfully. He immediately starts rubbing Minho's back and shoulders to comfort him and telling him to try and breathe. Minho practically wheezes on the bathroom floor and his sobs only turn more and more hysterical. Minho soon goes into another coughing fit, which has Chan yelling at Changbin to get him some water and then at Jisung to get a washcloth.
The coughing fit only seems to upset Minho further, as the coughs are so violent that they make him throw up again. It is getting harder and harder to breathe. All Minho can do is cough, cry, and empty his stomach into the toilet, struggling to take a breath the whole time.
Jeongin, Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Felix all stand in the doorway, frozen and looking in fear as their boyfriend seems to only be getting worse and not calming down. Soon I.N. and Felix go inside to further try and soothe Minho and eventually Changbin and Jisung return with the things Chan instructed them to get.
Minho is vaguely aware of the other members, his boyfriends, standing in the doorway and the hands trying to soothe him, but all he can feel is pain, everywhere. After another coughing fit, Minho can feel the funny feeling from before starting to take over as he grows more and more distressed. Whether it is the coughs making him lightheaded, the inability to breathe properly, or just the events that have occurred today, Minho slowly lets himself succumb to the floaty feeling. He lets his eyes glaze over, feeling as though almost drifting between consciousness and something else entirely. His body feels like he lost all of his bones and he allows himself to slump against the toilet and bathroom floor.
After kneeling there in shock for a few seconds, Chan and Changbin move to help the poor boy onto the couch. They watch as Minho’s eyes turn glossy and his breathing starts to improve. He is still victim to the rough coughs that rip out of his throat and the harsh sneezes, but overall he seems to be doing better and has calmed down. They all gather around, but not too close as not to overwhelm the boy.
Minho is hazily aware of the two of his members lifting him and carrying him bridal style to the couch. But he is too exhausted and his brain too mushy to protest the skinship he usually shies away from. (Besides, being carried made him feel small and taken care of.) Minho lets a small smile graze his face until Changbin sets him down onto the couch and he has to stop himself from letting out a pathetic whine.
Chan feels Minho’s head and almost immediately the guilt hits him like a train. Minho obviously is not faking sickness at all. And he had tried to tell them as such, but they had not listened to him, immediately shutting him down. Hell, Chan had even yelled at him multiple times and all of the others had said some pretty mean stuff too.
All of the members are filled with the same feeling as they see Minho’s flushed figure, his nose runny and tear tracks running down his face. Jeongin and Felix’s suspicions are confirmed as it is now very clear that their Minho had not been faking sickness. They all feel incredibly horrible for yelling and treating him so poorly, especially Chan, as well as Changbin and Hyunjin.
Minho unconsciously nuzzles into the hand which Chan has placed on his forehead, sighing at the relief of his cool hand on Minho’s hot forehead. Minho feels his body turn a bit to the side, curling his fists in Jisung’s t-shirt and letting his droopy eyelids finally flutter shut.
The others internally coo at Minho’s actions and curse Sungie for being the one to sit next to their sick member. However, their good feeling fades almost immediately, remembering what they had done and looking down at the sleepy form of their Min with worry and concern. The members all decidedly split up to go get things ready for when Minho wakes. Felix lays down on the couch and Jisung gently sets his hyung into Lix’s open arms, the older immediately attaching onto Felix in his sleep. Jisung then proceeds to lay down next to the couple and wrap his arms around the both of them. Jeongin finally gets up from where he is sitting to move so Felix has his head on his lap and he is gently stroking Minho’s back as a tiny bit of drool falls from Minho’s open mouth. Chan has gone to call their manager on the phone and ask for the next day off, while Hyunjin gets a bowl from the kitchen in case Minho feels the urge to throw up again. Changbin has gone to his room to get Minho one of their hoodies, so he can rest more comfortably. And Seungmin has gone to retrieve medicine to hopefully bring down his fever, lessen the coughing, and soothe his throat and headache.
When they all return, Hyunjin helps hold the sleeping boy while Changbin quickly slips off his shirt and puts on the comfortable hoodie that appears to almost swallow Minho whole. Lix looks as if he were about to die (from cuteness overload) at the sweater paws that it gave his hyung. Once everyone is back in the living room, they adjust Minho so he is more comfortable and get a cold washcloth on his head to try and bring his temperature down.
____________________________________________________________________________
As Minho finally wakes up, he finds himself on the couch in the living room surrounded by his other members. He blinks sleepily and lets out a sound of content at the hoodie that engulfs his figure, making him feel small, and at the secure arms wrapped around him. As he clears the blurriness from his eyes and sniffs a few times, the other members' faces come into view. He is immediately hit with the situation that has just occurred, his content expression immediately dropping off his face.
And then he is suddenly being pulled into a hug.
“I am so sorry I yelled at you like that. It was uncalled for and wasn’t okay as your leader or as your boyfriend. We all should have believed you, but after knowing that you’ve been repeatedly faking sick, I couldn’t trust you… I’m so sorry, Minho.”
And then the rest of the boys start apologizing.
“We all are so sorry Min-hyung”
“Jeongin and I noticed something was off at dinner, but we should have said something. We- we- we-”, Felix breaks into sobs again. And Hyunjin almost instantly follows suit.
Even Changbin’s eyes are glistening,
“I’m so sorry for what I said to you. For what all of us said to you.”
“We should have believed you when you said you weren’t faking it," adds Jisung.
“I- I’m so- sorry. I- We shouldn’t have been so mean to you and- and-," Seugnmin starts, his body shaking as silent tears roll down his face.
Minho nods before responding, “I fow-forg-” He gets cut off by another sneezing fit and then ends up coughing. “I fo- It’s okay,” he finally manages to get out. But then almost immediately, his eyes squeeze shut and tears fall down his cheeks once again.
“Hyung?," questions Jeongin worriedly.
“Min, baby, tell us what’s up. You don’t have to forgive us right away, honey.” Chan speaks up, his voice gentle and caring, however, laced with concern as Minho’s whole body tenses up and his eyes squeeze impossibly tighter.
“I- ‘M sorry,” Minho manages to get out from his clenched jaw. “It- my fault.” He manages to get out.
“Min-hyung,” Changbin firmly replies. “You do not have to apologize, baby. We should have believed you. And even if it is your fault for faking it in the past, that doesn’t mean we should have said those rude things to you. We care about you, Min. We should have realized you weren’t faking.”
Minho violently shakes his head at the words. More tears unconsciously make their way down his face and Jisung frowns, rubbing his boyfriend's back to try and keep him from working himself up again.
Minho can’t even listen to Changbin’s words as he continues to cry, too exhausted and in pain to care about showing weakness in front of the others. His brain is a mess of thoughts. All he knows is that it is his fault and he feels disgusting.
“Min- Minho. Stop that,” Hyunjin speaks up as he gently pries Minho’s hand away from where he has been trying to scratch at his arm. All the boys are worried. It seems like there is something more going on that Minho isn’t telling them about.
Meanwhile, Minho hears Hyunjin’s disappointed tone and doesn’t register the words that come with it, immediately assuming he did something wrong. Minho feels like his head is going to explode and not just due to the migraine. The voices in his head keep repeating the words the others had said. And even though all his boyfriends feel incredibly guilty for their words, in Minho’s mind they are still mad at him.
“Sorry- Sorry, sowwy. I’m sorry. Sowwy for faking. My fault,” Minho manages to gasp out, tears still running down his face.
His boyfriends feel their hearts break at the sight of their almost incoherent boyfriend, crying and shaking on the couch. Minho seems to be acting so different from his normal self and they can very much tell that this isn’t just the sickness.
“My fault for faking. Just wanted a break. Want the thoughts to stop. Wanted everything to just- go ‘way,” Minho sputters out. “My fault. I ruined filming. Made you mad. I- I- I’ll work harder. Be better. Be better for you. Pwomise.”
The others can barely understand his words with how much he is shaking. Felix tightens his hold on Minho’s waist and Hyunjin still securely holds onto his hands.
“Baby, baby- Calm down. You’re getting yourself all worked up, yeah? We already forgive you for lying, Min. You didn’t ruin anything, got it?” Chan speaks in a firm tone while still being as gentle as possible as to not upset the younger further.
Minho slowly starts to calm down with his boyfriends rubbing his back and sides. The fuzzy feeling has returned and he feels a bit more floaty and relaxed. He lays back against Felix and I.N., enjoying the comfort.
“Minho,” Chan starts, “as much as we love you and want you to relax since you are clearly very sick and exhausted, do you mind telling us about the thoughts you were or are having, baby? We want to understand why you wanted breaks every so often because it seems like it’s more than just wanting to relax. I’m not mad at you, Min. None of us are. We just want to know who gave you the idea that you need to be better for us.”
Minho takes a couple of seconds to just breathe and process the question. He honestly hasn’t thought about it much, but now that he is, he realizes that every day that he wanted a break was due to it being a bad day. When his thoughts were too loud. The voice was too negative. And it was physically hard to muster the courage to get out of bed and face the stressful day. Every time that happened, Minho had just passed it off as being tired and his body sore from dance practice. But now he realizes (or maybe he just finally got the courage to admit to himself) that he took those days off and lied with such ease because he really did need a day off. He needed a day away from the stress when everything got to be too much. He needed a sick day every month or so when he could just let his mind go blank. A day to let that feeling completely take over his body, so he didn’t have to worry about the stress and the negative emotions and bad thoughts and responsibility.
“I just- uh-,” Minho finally responds. Taking a deep breath, Minho continues, trying to fight off the voice telling him being vulnerable and opening up to his boyfriends makes him weak and pathetic.
“Sometimes things are too much-,” he pauses then continues, “I- Sometimes the voice in my head- My voice- My- My brain tells me a lot of negative things about- about myself.”
Seungmin squeezes his arm to keep him going and Minho continues telling them what the voice repeats and about how he feels some days.
“So uh- sometimes I just needed a break. Which I know-,” Minho grimaces. “I know it isn’t fair to the rest of you, but sometimes there’s so much stress and anxiety and I wake up in the morning- And I barely even have the energy to get up.” He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling pathetic and stupid. But before anyone can say anything, he continues.
“The time I took off, I used to not have the same responsibilities I normally have. I let myself go if that makes sense. And it’s- it’s nice to just- not think for a while. To just- Just take a break and quiet the voice in my head. And then- then have you guys take care- You guys take care of me when you come back.” Minho finishes, tensing up as the words leave his mouth and his face bright red from everything he has just admitted.
“Minho-," somebody’s voice starts, before he cuts them off once again.
“I- I’m sorry,” he says, back to stuttering. “I never should h- have lied- Lied and- You are all tired t- too. And I- ‘S not your fault. Because I lied. And- I’m sorry that I- I’m always ruining evewything. They should have- never let me- Let me join Stray Kids again. I- I sorry. Lino’s- sowwy.” He cuts himself off by sobbing again, not even realizing that he had started shaking and crying once more, his breathing growing more erratic as he kept talking. He didn’t even notice how the other members had started talking and trying to interrupt him and calm him down. Minho sniffles and tries his best to stop the tears from running down his face. “Pathetic. No wonder they don’t want you. They have every right to be mad at you, you fucking baby. Disgusting.”
Minho squeezes his eyes shut at the harsh words in his head and eventually lets himself zone out again. The fuzzy feeling returns and he lets himself comfortably slip back into that headspace, trying to relax his mind.
“-y. Baby, can you hear me?” A voice suddenly breaks through the haze in his mind and he slowly lets himself tune back in, his eyes still glazed and relaxed against his boyfriend’s hold.
“There you go, kitten,” Changbin whispers and then grins at the way the pet name makes Minho unable to keep a tiny smile off his lips, as he squirms, now in Innie’s lap.
“Hey, love,” Hyunjin calls, smiling down at him. Minho opens his eyes, not even realizing he had closed them in the first place and shows a gummy smile back at his beanstalk-of-a-boyfriend.
All the boys smile at their boyfriend’s cuteness. Although they are a bit confused and worried about the way Minho had been talking and his current behavior, they decide that it isn’t time to ask and are just happy their sick baby is feeling better.
“Min, baby, thank you for telling us. We should have questioned why you had been faking being sick because we all know that was very unlike you. But baby, everybody needs breaks sometimes and just because you may need more on occasion doesn’t mean that isn’t okay. Now that doesn’t mean that faking being sick is an okay thing to do, but we understand why you did it, babes. And we are so sorry for not believing you today and not taking care of you. We love you so much, honey.” Chan says looking down at their cuddly boyfriend, who even with a runny nose and flushed face, manages to look adorable.
All of them nod in agreement with Chan’s words, voicing that they love him too and are so happy he is with them. This makes Minho feel so loved and warm and all fuzzy inside. He lets his brain unwind completely and knows his members, his boyfriends, these incredible and talented people he gets to call his, will take care of him.
After a few seconds of them all just appreciating Minho and each other and all they have, Chan speaks up again, “And Min, whenever you feel like this again. When the voices get too loud or you have a bad day where everything is too much, come get us. We want to take care of you just as much as you take care of us. You could never let us down, baby. We are so proud of you. We love you, Min.”
Minho honestly has never felt better (or maybe it is just the medicine finally kicking in). But he has never felt more loved or more at home before. He feels so lucky to have all seven of them. He had already forgiven his boyfriends the moment Chan engulfed him in a hug when he had woken up. (Although Minho usually doesn’t particularly enjoy hugs, his boyfriends are all very affectionate. And he has to admit, when he is sick and feeling the way he is currently, he enjoys being wrapped in Chan’s arms or just being near his boyfriends in general.) He knows that it will be a struggle and that life won’t always be easy, but what he does know is that he has amazing people by his side, who he absolutely adores. He knows that on the really bad days, he can go and get any one of them (or all of them) and they will always be there for him. He could probably just scream, “Lee Know wants cuddles” and they would drop everything to form a giant cuddle pile on the sofa and shower him with praise, which he would pretend to hate, and affection, which he would also pretend to hate.
“Wove you,” Minho cuts himself off with a yawn, looking surprised he let out that noise, which makes the others laugh. “W- L- Love you too.” And with that he lets himself ease into their arms and feels as the rest of his boyfriends struggle to fit on the (way too small for all of them) couch in order to all cuddle each other. Minho lets himself drift into unconsciousness with a slight smile gracing his face and his hands grasping onto one of his boyfriend's shirts. He feels better than he has in months (minus the scratchy throat, fever that is still ever so persistent, and his whole body being just absolutely exhausted).
His boyfriends know that they will still have a lot to discuss in the morning, but for now, that can wait. For now, they will sleep, all wrapped up in each other's arms, and wait until Minho is fully back to health. They all silently promise each other to try harder and make everything up to their one currently sickly boyfriend. After all, they love him and they love each other. And Stray Kids wouldn’t trade Minho for the world.