Archive of Our Own

Loud strikes of thunder accompanied the pattering water against the window, rain washing down  the sides of the brick building. The repeating sounds were melodolic to listening ears, ones that heard every breath a spider would make. Breaths were taken in slow, deep waves, crafted precariously each inhale and exhale. Careful steps on each tile brought him to where he was. He was sure he’d taken the proper provisions to avoid this outcome, and yet here was, face to face with the man he had so desperately been trying to avoid.

The stern look on his face told tales to Chongyun as he backed up. His hands curled by his sides, the remnants from the outside weather squishing together in mockery of his failure to go unseen. He wondered in vague fascination of how his father was able to conduct himself that left him disguised to even the most cautious eye. He was also in the mind of distaste, since that very ability to go unnoticed was the one that caught the boy in his actions. White light flooded the place for a mere second before settling back down to its original state of being. Not so long after, thunder made its mark with a howl.

Chongyun knew there was no way this could end well for him. He was, after all, in the wrong. He was the one out after curfew. He was the one that was standing in the rain. Spending time away from the bodyguards attached to his sides like hardened mud was bad, in which he knew. He also was aware that bribing servants to turn a blind eye to him that night was not okay to do. And yet, he enjoyed doing those deeds so it made it slightly more difficult to view them the way his father did. It was possible his sense of right and wrong was a little biased towards himself.

The grunt of the king made him internally cringe, preparing himself for the words yet to be said. They came out just as the prince expected, and he was thrown into his room like a bird into its cage. His servant was already preparing a bath for him before he knew it, the cold water contrasting that of what a normal person might lay in. He didn’t mind that much; it only meant his baths would come quicker since it wasn’t necessary to be heated. A pang of guilt stabbed his heart as he realized that because of him, his servant wouldn’t be with him anymore. They weren’t close or anything, but Chongyun didn’t like thinking about what he would go through once he broke to his family that he was kicked out of the palace.

It was the prince’s fault. It was a problem he identified, but there was nothing he could do about it, considering he was now under bedroom-arrest and couldn’t risk angering his father even further than what’s already been done. The best he could do was call over the servant and tell him to live a better life, one that isn’t spent serving another person. Even if that job provided food and income for both the man and his family. Chongyun sighed, tilting his head back so it rested against the metal end of the tub. He forced himself into a state of calmness, focusing on the gentleness of his water that contrasted the pummelling sheets of droplets outside. In the ever-evolving nature, it would rain this day and in the day following, the sun would shine brightly to dry up everything that was beat down by the shower. The necessary nutrients were provided by the renewal of water and then afterwards, sunlight. The humidity would further push the agenda of the ever-important water cycle, even if it meant causing humans and animals alike to pant and sweat in the heavy air. He should’ve been able to watch that scenery from his windows, but curtains were currently drawn across them for he was not allowed to even look at the outside world.

Nothing changed in his room. Nothing instinctively caused an effect on the other, because nature did not happen in there. It was as stale as the bread fed to the prisoners in their mornings. There was no beauty he could see in the blue silk bed sheets that were only ruffled when he slept, nor the dressers that stood by to be used when his servant put away neatly folded clothes. There was no natural cycle in which his environment performed, and instead things only happened because humans coerced it. Bedroom-arrest until his father let him out and he got a new servant. His father knew just the right torture methods to inflict upon his soul. Chongyun supposed that was because they were related, after all. He understood every last one of his son’s dispositions and used it to teach a lesson.

—•—•—

Chongyun sat on his bed, leaning against the headboard. A book he was reading lay open in his palms. He soaked up the words, the studies of the martial arts the only thing in his mind. Each hand motion and kick of the leg was just as important as the next. It would all flow together to gain control over the enemy in front of you, and bring them down without killing them in the process. No swords were needed, nor any natural talents. Training the body, mind, and soul everyday would bring one to the mastery of martial arts.

He didn’t mind reading, but it was tough to appreciate his book when he knew he could be doing this with the sun streaming into his windows, and he could look up to see the birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves. However, this was something he had to leave to his imagination, considering his bedroom-arrest was still not over. He cast a silent glare to the guard stationed in his room. That guy was the reason he couldn’t disobey orders, because he was watching everything the prince did. It was annoying and a hindrance to Chongyuin, but he knew he couldn’t dare to bribe the guard into leaving. The last time he did that did not end well for him. The boy huffed quietly and continued to read his book.

Minutes passed before he heard a knock on his door. He slowly lifted his head, staring at it while his guard asked who it was. Some part of Chongyun hoped it was his father to come to release him from this hell. He knew it was a slim chance, considering it’d been days since they last spoke. The other part of Chongyun didn’t want him to come; there was solace in not having to do anything during the day, as well as not having to fear his congenital positivity. The main thing he didn’t like was the guard— he didn’t do anything, but that was the problem. He stood there and watched over him. An annoyance .

His father’s voice reached his ears, making him twitch in alarm. The door was opened and the man himself appeared before the prince. His face was as stoic as ever, but he wasn’t alone. There was a boy Chongyun’s age standing beside him, a more peaceful look on his face. Chongyun narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping through his veins. While the boy seemed harmless, things weren’t adding up in his mind. There were no visitors during his time of arrest; the only person he was allowed to see the entire time was his mother, who was also in agreement with the punishment administered. She only would ever come in to give him a kiss goodnight, an action that was supposed to help Chongyun sleep at night. The tradition didn’t really work anymore, but they didn’t stop nonetheless.

The boy looked awfully young to be his servant. Usually men in their 20s or 30s would be by his side. His father believed they would be a better influence on him and stricter with rules that would keep him out of trouble. That hadn’t been proven to work, yet his father refused to give up hope. However, it was possible he finally had a change of heart since this last failure. His bearded mouth opened, and the prince prepared himself for the truth.

“Chongyun, this is your new servant.” Chongyun didn’t let his face falter, despite the surprising news. The boy didn’t make any large movements, the only one noticeable was the slight quirk of the lips. “Someone your age might be better at controlling you than an adult you can’t connect with.” His father was knowledgeable, Chongyun will give him that. It’s something he admired; not once had he seen him be tricked or deceived by another. He strived to be at that level of refinement.

Chongyun nodded, then asking his own question. “Does this mean i’m out of bedroom-arrest?” He noticed the boy tighten his lips, as if holding back a laugh. The prince averted his eyes, holding down his embarrassment. It wasn’t even he who named it, it was his father. Laugh at him, not at the victim, he thought to himself. He grimaced before tuning back in to the real world.

The king grunted in thought. His hand went to his beard, stroking it like he did when he was making a decision. Chongyun crossed his fingers in hopes for an affirmation. As much as he disliked to admit out loud, he missed the outside world. He truly missed every bit of it, even the less favorable parts. He missed having the ability to fear going outside when it was too hot. He felt like he had been stripped of a right he wasn’t aware he even had. “Your punishment is over. Begin training with the knights in an hour’s time.”

The prince didn’t let it show, but his heart gave a little flutter of joy. He was finally released. “Does that mean my guard is leaving as well?” He glanced over to the man, who stood without any expressions showing. It was possible he was better at hiding how he felt than Chongyun was. “That isn’t against you.” That was only the half-truth. It wasn’t his fault that the king had given him that job, but he was still following through with it. 

“He will move in to replace your old bodyguards. He is skilled in many areas.” To praise others was something his father did not often do, so Chongyun hoped that the man knew what honor he was receiving. Especially since it was done right in front of the subject. The prince averted his eyes, not sure what to make of the development. His father was telling the truth, but that only made the enigma stronger. How would this man go about protecting the prince? Would he stay apart and allow him to roam with a watchful eye Chongyun would attempt to shake, or would he walk close and leave him open to being manipulated by the prince? Chongyun studied his body, but wasn’t able to make heads or tails of it. They had spoken few words in his confinement, the most being when he requested the man to leave as he changed.

The prince said nothing back to his father, simply turning around to suggest that the conversation was over. It was, in fact, because the king left as well with the guard trailing behind him. The door was shut soundly, the only people remaining in the room being the prince and his new personal servant. The boy stood still as Chongyun climbed back onto his bed to sit cross-legged. Hands resting in his lap, the prince began to evaluate the boy. He wore standard servant wear-- a brown tunic with a white undershirt, off-white pants that hung a bit loose, and flat-footed brown boots. His face was back to what it was before; calm and peaceful, like he didn’t have a care in the world. It was certainly a change to what the prince was used to seeing. He shrugged and picked back up his book, figuring he had time to finish a chapter before he needed to get dressed for training.

There was a silence before the servant spoke, almost indignantly. “Aren’t you curious as to know what my name is?” Chongyun sighed, only to look up and see a crossed-arm boy with his eyebrows raised. He returned to his book, flipping a page.

“You look like a girl.” An immediate reaction followed the nonchalant off-handed comment. He began sputtering about how he couldn’t control his looks and whatnot. This was the earliest he’s been able to invoke an emotion out of his personal servants. He wondered how fast father would fire this one.

Seeming to have gathered himself after the rather upsetting rant due to his appearance, he collected enough nerve to say, “My name is Xingqiu, since you so kindly asked.” Chongyun didn’t say anything as he continued to read, doing his best to block out the noise. “I am at your service, Prince Chongyun. What would you like me to do?” In his peripheral vision, he saw the bow the boy made.

“That’s the first ounce of respect you’ve shown me since you’ve arrived.” He voiced his thoughts aloud, closing his book in the process. “I suppose I should stop reading for now.” He set it down on his bed, intending to leave it for when he was bored at night. Chongyun stood up, arching his back in a mini-stretch, despite having been up a few minutes ago.

“I apologize for my lack of manners, my liege. I usually have the utmost respect for the people I meet.” The smile was sincere enough on his feminine face. “I enjoy reading as well. What’s your favorite story?” There was a spark of curiosity in Xingqiu’s eyes, ones that were hungry for more knowledge of the prince. Chongyun didn’t quite know how to react. No one besides his parents really showed that much interest in what he liked.

Chongyun absent-mindedly ran his fingers over his sheets. “I don’t read all that often. I was doing it to pass the time in my arrest.” He chose to ignore the dejected look on his servant’s face. It wouldn’t matter much, anyway. The time they spent together would be limited. No need to start being empathetic so soon. “We need to undo these curtains.” He gestured to the black curtains that blocked sight into the outside world, but let in enough light that it wasn’t dark in the room. They soon got to work; Xingqiu made better time than Chongyun did, considering he was taller in stature.

“If I may ask, what did you do to cause your punishment? As a prince, a harsh condition such as this would be an effect of something large, would it not?” This is the most any of my servants have talked to me on a personal level, Chongyun thought, vaguely amused. He didn’t really appreciate the intruding question, but it wouldn’t be so wrong as to answer. Besides, what he did wasn’t even that bad. Well, the out-past-curfew part wasn’t bad. The other side, however…

He cleared his throat. “I bribed guards and servants to turn a blind eye so I could spend time alone in the rain after curfew.” He sighed, shaking his head. “That’s why I have a new servant and bodyguard now. My father likes to take down the people associated with whatever I did as a form of further punishment to me.” He clicked his tongue as the guilt struck his chest. He found himself hoping that that fate wouldn’t reach his new servant. After all, this one seemed to be different from the others. Someone he could possibly make a friend out of.

Xingqiu laughed. It was a soft melody that drifted in Chongyun’s ears, making his heart beat a little harder than it was before. He gripped at his shirt, disliking the unfamiliar feeling. “Quite the interesting story you’ve got there. I wouldn’t have known the Prince of Ice was so open and honest about his misgivings.” A cheeky smile etched it’s way across the servant’s lips, the curtain now pulled back to reveal the bright blue sky with white puffs spotted around. Immediately, the bedroom brightened around them.

Chongyun tightened his mouth into a straight line. “I prefer to be honest with both myself and others. In the end, all truths will come out eventually.” The best he could ever do was tell the half-truth. His full lies were never believed, no matter how much effort he put into the act. He chose to blame it on his excessive positivity that would not abandon him in any active aspect of his life.

The servant hummed. “That’s a wonderful resolution. Though, humans do not leave without something locked inside, do they?” The curtain the prince was working on was moved, sunlight streaming in through that one as well. Finally, the room was restored to what it once was before. Chongyun revelled in the sight of it, taking a deep breath as he thought of a response to the question at hand.

“Is this your way of asking me to talk about my secrets?” He inquired, cancelling out Xingqiu’s own query. Hands went up in defense of his actions, mouth ready to retaliate. “No need for you to be sorry. Just know that as long as I don’t pressure your life, you can’t pressure me about mine.”

Xingqiu’s arms dropped back down to his sides. “Of course, Sire. I did not mean to make you upset.” His fingers interlocked in front of him politely, appearing as if he no longer knew what to do. An apologetic slump in his shoulders let the prince know of the honesty behind his words.

“I’m not mad. I’m simply stating what needed to be said.” He rested his back against his window, letting the subdued heat absorb his back. “We’ve only known each other for a few minutes, after all. We can save all this talk for another time.” He waved off the contempt in his servant’s stance. “We have some time before I need to be ready for training. Grab a book and read for yourself, if you want to.” Chongyun settled back down on his bed, the place he dog-eared ready for him to consume.

Without another word, Xingqiu began scrummaging through the bookshelf on the opposite side of the room. Lined with books upon another, he was scanning each title to see if it peaked his interest. Chongyun watched the boy with amusement, and he yet again compared him to the rest of the servants the prince had. Already within a short time of knowing each other, he’d been able to prove himself worthy of something Chongyun didn’t know existed. The other servants didn’t say anything unless they were directly spoken to. Xingqiu however, spoke when he wanted, and how he wanted without hesitation. The prince carefully timed the servant, making sure he wouldn’t be caught staring at the other as he picked out a book from the shelf.

“Why do you own a shelf full of interesting tales, but you don’t squander through them yourself?” Xingqiu plopped down beside the bed that Chongyun lay in, his legs lined up in a straight line in front of him. The prince could just barely read the title of the book he held, something along the lines of, In Heartstring .

Chongyun shrugged, shifting his gaze back down to his own space. “It’s there for when I need it, I guess. There’s no point in getting rid of it, considering it’s proven its use for me, and now, you.”

“That does make a bit of sense. Everything has a point to someone’s life, no matter if it doesn’t happen immediately..” Xingqiu was already flipping a page, much to Chongyun’s astonishment. As if he could read his thoughts, the servant continued on. “I’ve already read this one. It’s details a fascinating adventure between two lovers, but one tragically dies with a sword through his chest, leaving the other in shock and agony.” His hands moved as he talked, the book balancing in his lap. “Despite its rather depressing ending, it’s one of my favorite stories of all time. It could invoke emotion out of even the darkest monster in the lowest pit of Hell.”

Chongyun replied, “That’s interesting,” in the best tone he could muster. He hoped that Xingqiu would understand that the conversation was now over with that explanation, but it wasn’t the reason. They both had something to do now, albeit very similar things. Peace and quiet was what Chongyun aimed for, and he successfully received.

—•—•—

“Have you never dressed someone in armor before?” The metal was taken off of the prince’s body yet again, the servant fiddling with the piece in his hands as he looked over where it was supposed to go. Xingqiu sadly shook his head, meeting Chongyun’s eyes with hesitation. “Well I’d hate to see how you would fair putting me in full armor.” Xingqiu sighed as he tried putting the shoulder piece back on, but the prince put a hand on top of the boy’s, effectively stopping the attempt. “Let me do it.”

The servant gripped ever tighter on the shoulder piece. “But, my liege, I am your servant. I am supposed to do this for you.” Chongyun pried the armor out Xingqiu’s hands, using his cold fingertips to his advantage.

“Yes, but I’m going to be late if this continues on any longer.” He worked on his shoulder himself, remembering the hundreds of times his other servants had done this for him. It wasn’t too difficult of a process, but he understood that it would be confusing and hard for someone who hadn’t done it or even seen it be done before. “When you are dismissed today, you can read books on this in the library or get advice from the other servants around here.”

Xingqiu stared at the working hands in intrigue. “I have access to the archive?” His voice was raised in hope, eyes sparkling, a nice change from the earlier disappointment.

Chongyun finished with the first shoulder piece, grabbing the other one to begin working again. “Usually, servants are only allowed in places inside the castle if it is to work or bring stuff to their masters. However, if I write you a note saying that I have given you permission to do as you please, you can borrow books all you want.”

The explanation was simple, and he planned to write the note as soon as he completed his armor. He didn’t want to forget and have to suffer another day without someone able to efficiently put his armor on for him. “Thank you, Sire.” Xingqiu bowed respectfully. “May I get other books as well? Ones such as the story I told you about earlier?”

The prince shrugged, refraining from showing a smile. “That doesn’t bother me. It’s interesting, though,” He met his servant’s eyes again. “Most servants don’t know how to read that well.” Dad did a really good job with this one. Already, he was thankful that he had met Xingqiu, no matter how long they would spend together. He was becoming a friend that was inept at the most basic parts of being a servant.

“That’s rather upsetting, don’t you think?” He moved to sit down on the bed, all the while training his eyes on the prince to learn how to put on armor. “I believe everyone deserves a chance to read the wonderful stories written by the most astonishing authors. Even the simple tales can have an impact on one’s entire life.” The silk sheet crinkled underneath him.

Chongyun tightened a metal piece around his arm. “That’s not for me to decide. Though, I believe the quality of life would improve if everyone knew at least the basics of written language.” The other arm was completed soon enough. The next part was a bit more tricky; the leg pieces. He could figure out how to manage, somehow. “How did the king come to pick you for my servant, anyway?”

“Oh, that’s simple.” He crossed his legs, making him appear more feminine than he already looked. “I protected him from pirates.” Chongyun immediately stopped what he was doing, shock taking over his body. He didn’t know what to think, nor even the beginnings of how to respond. It took him longer than it should’ve to even comprehend the words that came out of his servant’s mouth.

He gaped like a fish for a few more moments. “What?” Surely someone would’ve made him aware of this when it happened? Yet again, considering how strict punishments were in this palace, it’s possible that even that information would be restricted from his ears.

Xingqiu grinned. “Believe what you wish, but it is the truth that I tell. The king was astonished by my swordsmanship. He offered me many wondrous rewards, and I declined all but one.” He turned, staring straight at the prince with an unreadable expression. “I accepted the invitation to serve under you, Sire.” Chongyun stood still, not sure when he should continue putting on his armor, nor even if he was able to.

“You could’ve had a life of luxury, yet you chose that of a servant?” It was possible he didn’t want to know the truth behind his actions, but the words escaped his lips before he could restrain himself. “Why?” He felt his heart rate go up. Instinctively, he began to take deep breaths to school his body and mind of any intense emotions.

The boy shrugged, the sneaky look remaining on his face. “Another day, another adventure. How could I not pass up the opportunity to spend a time of my life at a royal’s side? I say that this is the best option one could ever choose.” The prince tentatively began putting his leg armor on.

The metal rubbed against his thighs, his pants a thin layer to protect the press of sheer cold. “I wouldn’t pick myself over anything such as what you were probably offered.” His emotions evened out with that phrase. Chongyun huffed a breath of relief. It was a closer call than he’d like to admit. To think that this was only his first day with his servant— he hoped that this was only because it was the first day. Perhaps he could adapt before long.

“Different men, different tastes.” He flicked his hand in the air as he fell backwards on the bed, his legs flying out of the previous position. “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t think so lowly of yourself, my liege. High self-esteem makes for higher chivalry.” He waved his finger around as if he were trying to make it perform a ballet dance in the air.

Chongyun figured he should go back to trying to ignore Xingqiu, but he knew that wouldn’t last for long. “You think I don’t have enough chivalry?” He tapped his chestplate. “I’d like to think this says otherwise.”

The dinging sound from his fingernail hitting the metal echoed slightly in the room. “Any person of any kind can wear armor, it's what is on the inside that counts.” Chongyun scoffed at the cliché line. No doubt the servant got that line from any number of the stories he read; it was most likely on the prince's bookshelf as well. He patted his leg piece, finally finished with putting on his armor.

“We best get going.” Chongyun picked up his rather dusty sword, making a mental note to remind Xingqiu to clean it after his training. He flicked his wrist towards him and opened his chamber door with a gloved hand, his servant trailing after him like a lost puppy.

—•—•—

To say that getting out of bed was easier than before was an understatement. When you have someone pushing you insistently while making sure the room was as bright as possible, it was almost inevitable that leisure time in a comfortable bed would become shorter and shorter. On absolutely no days was there an exception to the new routine his servant developed for the prince. It was hard to get used to at first, but as time dragged on, Chongyun found himself able to pry himself out of his sheets without much complaint.

Today was not an easy day, though. “Prince Chongyun!” The shaking was steadily getting harsher and harsher, the hands pressed against his shoulder and back becoming more desperate the longer the prince remained stubborn. “If you don’t get out of bed right now, I am going to drag you out myself!” Chongyun could give Xingqiu credit- he was strong, and by Archon did he have amazing willpower, but that would only take one so far. The prince was physically stronger, and he could always threaten arrest if needed.

“You can’t.” He murmured in a soft voice, head pressing further against his pillow. The shoving stopped momentarily, and he wondered if he had finally managed to get Xingqiu to listen to him for the first time in forever. It was a short-lived hope, as the servant lifted the covers of the royal sheets and wrapped his arms around Chongyun’s torso. He pulled, slowly dragging the prince across the mattress. His eyes shot open, his hands immediately gripping onto the headboard in a state of mild panic. “Xing- Xingqiu, I will arrest you!”

The servant merely huffed, much to Chongyun’s exasperation. He began pulling with more effort. “My liege, we both know you won’t do that.” Chongyun grit his teeth, knowing he was losing to the game of tug-of-war. The mattress creaked, and the prince felt his servant’s head pressed against his shoulder and neck. For a split second, time slowed down, and all he could focus on was the heat spreading across his fast, electricity travelling through his veins. The next thing he knew, he was falling, crashing on top of Xingqiu as they landed on the floor together.

The boys groaned out in pain, slowly detaching themselves from one another. Chongyun stood and stretched out his body, his servant following soon after. “You did not have to do that.” His glare mimicked sharp icicles, cold and dangerous. Xingqiu, however, paid no mind to the facial expression, brushing it off with a smile. In honesty, it was one of the things that made the prince like this servant more than the rest he’s had. For whatever that was supposed to imply, he didn’t want to think about it.

Xingqiu moved to pick up the neatly folded clothes. “Yes, I most certainly did. Your lack of sleep last night is evident, but you’re going to have to pull through today.” He let a nice suit unravel in his hands. “After all, formal dance lessons are fairly important.” Chongyun started the process of undressing, regretting many decisions in his life that led him up to that moment. He was, by no means, not a good dancer. No matter how many years of lessons he has taken, they never seem to be able to correct his terrible form.

They worked in silence, all of the places Xingqiu touched him were left with a feeling he could not begin to describe. Tentative fingers tightened the last of the strings to make the outfit complete, and the servant stepped back to admire his work. From what he could see, Chongyun could admit that he looked good, the white and baby blue against his fair skin complimenting him well. His gloves also felt soft, something he wouldn’t mind wearing for day-to-day life.

“You are…” For once, the boy was at a loss for words. His eyes were shrouded in an array of emotions. “Stunning.” The word rolled off of his tongue, surprising the royal. Chongyun turned his head, unable to continue looking at the mesmerised face of his servant- friend, he could say. He rubbed at his cheek, willing the sudden heat to die down, and for his heart to stop beating so fast. The word echoed in his head, somehow becoming more impactful with each repeat.

Chongyun stepped towards the door, and coughed. “We have a breakfast to attend.” The prince walked out, leaving his feelings behind in his room and praying that it would not haunt him for the rest of the day. Xingqiu hurried to stay by his side. They didn’t say much of anything, except for the occasional interaction with other servants in the castle as they headed to the dining room.

For the first time in a while, he spotted his personal guard. His red hair bounced away as the man disappeared behind a corner. It was interesting how the guard moved- for some reason, Chongyun had never felt safer, despite how far away Diluc always was. He briefly considered calling out, but ultimately decided against it. If the man wanted to talk, he would. Besides, he already had fine company with him. The dark blue-haired boy walking beside him had a small smile set in place.

The dining table was soon enough reached, and the servant and prince parted ways to participate in their own roles in morning functions. The food was set in front of him quickly, and after saying a prayer to the Archons above, the royal family ate their food in peace. Admittedly, it was rather boring eating cold meals everyday. The smoke that exuded from the warm plates of his mother and father’s plates were always to be envied, in comparison to his chilled eggs and ham.

“Have your servant draft a new daily schedule for you, now with the added dance classes.” The metal utensils were pressed gently to the empty plate, signifying the end of the meal. Once the queen stopped eating, everyone else at the table were to conclude their munching as well. Chongyun rested his hands in his laps, muling over the preposition for a moment.

Eventually, he shook his head. “He has the worst handwriting I have ever seen. Nobody is able to decipher anything that he writes.” Although it was true that the boy had awful penmanship, there was a hint of endearment to the way Chongyun spoke of it. Not that he had noticed, nor would he have admitted to it if he did recognize his softer tone of voice.

—•—•—

Echoes of failure after failure wearily sounded in the chamber as he stumbled on his feet, the hands of his mentor acting as his pillar of stability. He frustratedly let go, swiping his palm across his forehead and down his entire face. His feet planted themselves to the ground, the urge to fall and never get back up more tempting than ever. It was absolutely dreadful to experience the same mistakes over and over again, never having anything come of the reprimanding words his mentor gave him.

“I have stopped counting how many times you have messed up on that step!” Her white hair whipped around as she turned away from the prince. Her heels collided against the ground rather loudly as she walked with tightened fists. “I shall be back after a while to continue this lesson. I must cool myself down.” Chongyun watched her leave the room in embarrassment, finally letting himself sit down in his own defeat. Dancing truly was the bane of his existence- not one teacher had gotten through to him in all his years of life, and it appeared this one would be no different.

He sighed, resting his head against his knees unceremoniously. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to be excused from dancing at formal gatherings before the world found out that he was completely inept in the subject. The warm sun streams coming in from the window looked beautiful in the rather plain-looking room, kicked up dust visible in the light. It was tempting to bathe in the sunlight, but the sweat coming from his neck convinced him otherwise.

There was also another thing that kept him from moving positions- his servant. Hands on his hips with a mischievous smile on his face, Chongyun almost feared what he was going to say. Shadows were cast over the prince’s body, and he hoped it was enough to hide any sort of expression he could be wearing, whether that be upset, scared, or weary. He preferred if people didn’t know what was going on inside his head; it made him less vulnerable to manipulation. That was something he learned from his father, and he would hold that forever close to his heart. Of course, on the other end, he knew to always see the good in people first, for then you can form the most valuable bonds with your loved ones. An equally as important lesson taught by his mother.

Xingqiu squatted beside his sitting master. “My liege, I believe you would benefit from learning from me.” Despite knowing him for an incredibly shorter amount of time than his parents, Xingqiu had already provided him a valuable truth: Always take up the offers life gives you. Chongyun nodded his head, not missing the way his servant’s eyes sparkled with joy when he took his hand to stand back up. The boy did not let go of the prince’s hand, and instead gently placed it against his own side. Using the other hand, he rested it against Chongyun’s shoulder.

He chose to blame his beating heart rate on the heat within the room. He forcefully ignored the way his hands tingled where he touched Xingqiu. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway; what he needed to focus on was the movements of his body, not the way his servant stood out in his view like a diamond in the rough. The prince breathed in through his nostrils, and out again.

He almost missed the first few words of Xingqiu’s sentence. “First, one step to the left, then to the right. Don’t change anything about your stance, just move your feet.” Xingqiu took the lead, though technically he was supposed to be playing the feminine role in the scenario. Chongyun followed, finding himself easily able to do the two steps. It was a simple back and forth, and without any added details to the rest of his body, it was simple and he was able to grasp it quickly.

This dynamic continued for a while after; Xingqiu would deem Chongyun ready to move onto the next part, reassuring him that all he needed to know was where to put his feet. The rest would be discussed later. Focus on one thing at a time, and take baby steps. All the while, Chongyun struggled to not pay attention to the way Xingqiu’s hand would squeeze his shoulder, or tap his chest if he had too much tension. He especially didn’t want to think about the way his smile was a constant, gentle play on the lips, showing the utmost kindest to the most downright fool there ever was.

Eventually, they got through the entire dance in a somewhat fluid motion, and Chongyun felt lighter than air. Dare he say there was a small smile on his face when he completed it, the accomplishment overwhelming his emotions. Xingqiu was similarly happy, though he expressed it more than Chongyun for obvious reasons. “Congratulations, my liege.” His voice was softer than he expected it to be, and it made Chongyun halt his prideful thoughts. Instead, he let himself truly look at his servant, no longer ignoring his face like he did before. The sunlight highlighted parts of his hair, accentuating each strand of dark blue. His hazel eyes seemed to glow and the brown and green parts became more distinguished. They were the rich soil of the ground they walk on, the padding of the earth that allowed life to flourish and grow. Chongyun thought he could thrive in those eyes as well. The fair skin of the boy radianted a faint shine, making him appear to be a deity sent down from the high heavens above.

That morning, his servant had called the prince stunning. The word fit Xingqiu more than it did Congyun, in his humble opinion. In only modest servant’s clothing, the boy was able to become the most beautiful being the prince ever had the pleasure of seeing, greeting, and becoming friends with. In that moment, the world had fallen away to only those two, leaving them to hold each other in their arms, to never let go. Perhaps, it was a trick of the lighting, but Chongyun could’ve sworn Xingqiu’s eyes flicked down to his lips, his head tilting to the side and leaning forward to become closer.

The doors pushed open, and faster than lightning, the boys separated from their trance. It was not as though it was forgotten- no, far from that. The lasting impression of hands pressed against his figure, a body so beautiful, and a heart made of gold.

—•—•—

Chongyun twirled the qingxin in one hand, the other pushing on his bedroom door. The smell of the flower calmed his senses, reaffirming in his mind why he went out to get it in the first place. There was someone that Chongyun cared about that was not in a peaceful state of mind, and he hoped the flower would be of help to return his servant back to tranquility. Of course, it wasn’t really the qingxin that would be getting the boy to talk- no, Chongyun understood that he must do his own investigation himself, and encourage Xingqiu to open up about his problems.

The servant was sat on the prince’s bed folding laundry, placing them into neat piles for them to be put away into a drawer, or to be hung from various hangers. Xingqiu didn’t move a muscle out of place when Chongyun entered, nor did he greet his master. That was out of place- usually whenever he would enter a room that his servant was in, he would receive some sort of variant of ‘Greetings,’ or ‘Welcome back.’ The edges of his mouth curled downwards as he mulled over the possible things that were plaguing his best friend’s mind.

“Xingqiu.” He called, and the servant stopped folding laundry at the sound. When he looked up at the prince, there was no light in his eyes, nor was there a small smile etched into his face. Not to say that he looked upset, but rather the neutral face gave off more signals of problems than any proper expression ever could. With the neutrality, it made Chongyun aware that Xingqiu was purposefully not confiding in the prince, purposefully trying to not show what he was truly feeling. The royal’s footsteps were heavy as he walked forward.

He held out the white qingxin, resting it just barely between his fingertips. Xingqiu looked at it curiously, hesitantly taking it into his own hands. Instead of brightening up, he seemed to become more troubled. His hand wrapped around the stem, and, although could be a trick of the lighting, it was shaking ever so slightly. The petals bent under the air resistance. “Thank you, but what is this for, my liege?”

Chongyun hesitated. “Something has been on your mind, something big, hasn’t it?” Xingqiu doesn’t respond, and most importantly, doesn’t meet the other’s eyes. They were trained on the shadows cast across the flower. “I know the qingxin is your favorite kind of flower, so I… I bought one so you could tell me what’s wrong.” Saying it out loud made him feel stupid. The flower was overkill; he could have just asked his servant like a normal person. 

Before he could continue to apologize for his actions and retract the gift, Xingqiu spoke. There was a waver in his voice. “Nobody has given me a gift before.” The swallow was audible in the quiet room. He thanked the prince again, his eyes never leaving the white flower. His grip tightened, holding it as though he’d never let go. Chongyun didn’t like the way his heart shot a pang of hurt through his veins. He sat down next to his servant, the bed groaning in protest at the added weight.

Chongyun once again asked what had been bothering Xingqiu, to which a tired sigh came in reply. “I’ve been having this same nightmare over and over again for the past week.” The petals flapped as the stem was spun. “It’s just been on my mind recently, that’s all.” He placed the qingxin gently on the sheets, picking up a towel. In much slower movements, he resumed the task he was working on before, an unreadable emotion fleeting across his face.

“Tell me about it.” For the first time that night, Xingqiu looked at him in the eyes. It was an incredulous expression, one of surprise and vague warning. Chongyun got the message being sent, but he brushed it off with a shoulder shrug. “Go on.”

Xingqiu bit his lip, deciding between following his master’s orders or keeping his suffering to himself. Chongyun hoped he would go with the former. The boy drawed out a quiet ‘okay,’ taking a moment to recollect himself as he set the towel onto a pile. “I’m in a vast sea, nothing but water for what seems like thousands of miles. I’m drowning, and no matter how hard I try to fight my way up, I only ever sink further down.” His hands twitched in his lap, curling in and out of fists. They were shaking more visibly now. Chongyun resisted the urge to grab hold of them. “You’re there, too. Swimming away from me, like you don’t know I’m there.”

Chongyun waited, but Xingqiu did not continue. He sat entirely still, stiff with tension. For only a moment, Chongyun did not do anything. He weighed his options carefully, trying to decide what he, possibly the least comforting person in Teyvat, could do to help his best friend. Before he could mull over it any longer, he pulled the servant into a hug, letting the boy’s head rest on his chest despite being the shorter one of the two. He kept his breathing and his heartbeats at a steady pace, hoping it would calm the other day into a more relaxed state.

It did work, much to the prince’s relief. Xingqiu wrapped his arms around Chongyun’s back, his hands holding onto his tunic like it was a lifeline. “You are not going to drown. I will always be here with you.” He whispered, surprising himself with his own words. There was never a time where he considered himself close enough to be able to guarantee something as dubious as he then spoke, but he didn’t doubt what he said. There was pure truth, and he resigned himself to do whatever he could to protect his loyal servant from the pain of death and deception.

—•—•—

His sharp intakes and short releases were the only sounds he could hear, too fixated on his servant to really pay attention to anything else. Or rather, he was focused on the servant that wasn’t there. He hadn’t been around all day, and Chongyun was more worried than he could ever remember being before. He hadn’t thought too much of it at first, thinking that Xingqiu was running a bit late. He could move on as a functional person without a servant, so there wasn’t much to worry about at first. He hadn’t even mentioned it to his parents- they might’ve taken it out on the poor boy had they known the mistakes that had been made. Or, maybe they wouldn’t have, because they could, too, see the positive effect Xingqiu had on the prince.

Chongyun really regretted not telling anyone about the unusual activity. Here he was, running around the castle, past servants, knights, and guards alike in order to find his best friend. In the back of his mind, he wondered if Diluc was searching as well. He was pretty sure Xingqiu wasn’t outside, since it had been storming the entire day, and the boy had an odd aversion to water. He could understand it, though- anything too hot made Chongyun’s entire body recoil as if the subject was a burning sun, not just a hot day.

He peeked into a room, closing it swiftly when he saw no one in there. He ran to the next one over, realizing that it was his own chamber. Surely Xingqiu wouldn’t be in there, but at the same time, there was a possibility that he could be. The thought that he could be passing by the boy he was looking for nagged at his brain. He forced the doors open after a second more hesitation, stepping into the chamber with the intent to leave as quickly as possible. His doubts, however, were squandered almost immediately. Chongyun called out his servant’s name, relief flooding through his veins, cleansing him of impurity.

That was short-lived. The boy jumped at the sound of his name, turning around to expose a red face, eyes puffy with fat tears rolling down his cheeks. It was a horrid sight to see, truly. Chongyun closed the door behind him, wanting this interaction to be as private as possible. Nobody would question the closed door as he was supposed to be in his room by this time of night, anyway. He took a hesitant step forward, hands out in front of him like the manner in which one would approach a petrified wild animal.

The second thing he noticed was the knife clutched in his hands. For a moment, he imagined it was the white qingxin, but that imagery didn’t last for long. Xingqiu forced out his voice through the tears. “Chongyun- Chongyun, kill me.”

The world stopped turning, and time itself became irrelevant. His eyes widened, staring at his best friend with pure hysteria. He struggled to keep his heart beating, to keep himself from saying words that would make him collapse to the ground, his congenital positivity taking over. First and foremost, however, he needed to solve the problem shaking with a dangerous weapon before him. His head whirled with the ways to calm down his friend without accidentally getting himself or the other stabbed in the process.

“Xingqiu, please drop the knife.” He pleaded, inching closer to the servant. Xingqiu stepped back, tears streaming down impossibly faster. He shook his head, restating his original request. Chongyun’s breath shuddered as he inhaled and exhaled. If the boy was going to be stubborn, then it was up to the prince to approach him in a different way. “I’ll consider it if you tell me what’s going on.” He lied through his clenched teeth. They were starting to hurt with the amount of force he pressed with.

Xingqiu stared at him. “I am a liar! A dirty, cheating, absolutely rotten liar!” His desperation was loud and clear to the only ears that were listening, although not comprehending very well. It didn’t make much sense, the words his friend was saying. Chongyun bit his lip, careful not to make it bleed. He ignored the way his palms were starting to drip with sweat.

He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment of clarity. It proved useless. “I don’t understand. Drop the knife and explain it to me, please.” There was a begging tone added to the end of his sentence, unintentional, but it got the job done nonetheless. The weapon clattered to the ground unceremoniously at Xingqiu’s feet, his hands still in the same position they were before. It was almost as if the knife had never even left his hands in the first place. Chongyun worried the knife would slice the boy’s legs and feet, but luckily, it tumbled in the opposite direction.

“I’ve been lying to you this whole time!” He paused, gasping for breath in between his cries. “I didn’t save your father- it was all set up so I could become your servant and get close to you! I’m a pirate, Chongyun. I was sent here to capture you and bring you back to my crew and slaughter you!” He spoke fast, only breaking up when the salty tears seeped into his mouth. He moved to grab at his hair, pulling roughly at the ends in his own frustration. His upper body was leaning forward, as if he was carrying a heavy weight on his back.

Chongyun wasn’t sure what to think, or what to say for that matter. The sobbing boy, expressing visible regret for the actions he’s supposedly committed, wanted Chongyun to kill him. Things were not adding up together in his mind, and he didn’t know what to make of the jabbing pain in his chest, right where his heart was beating. He needed to say something, though- anything. Anything would be better than leaving his servant- his best friend- to hang out and dry on his own, drowning in the depths of his own despair. “Then why haven’t you?” Those were not the words the prince wanted to say, but with his mind swirling like a tornado and his emotions destroyed by a storm, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else to repair the damage he’d done.

Xingqiu choked up, one hand wiping at his eyes as he met Chongyun’s gaze. “Because I love you!” It was too much. Everything was overwhelming him. The way Xingqiu seemed broken beyond repair. The way that that was the worst thing the prince had ever seen. The way he was sweating, the way his heart was sending waves of pain throughout his body. The way that he loved Xingqiu, too.

Chongyun blinked, and he was on the floor. He coughed, throbs erupting from various points in his body. He couldn’t move, yet he had the most insane urge to flee. With each beat his heart made, an ache spread out throughout his entire body, forcing him to remain in his spot sprawled on the ground. Unfortunately from him, it was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings, outracing the speed of a peregrine falcon. Suddenly, he went limp. His consciousness left for only a moment, returning back to the real world in an instant.

Chongyun vaguely recognized what was going on. This was the ugliness of his natural-born disease, the reason why the prince only ever ate cold food, and stayed indoors when the sun shined too brightly during the day. It was why he tiptoed around any kind of emotion, forcing himself into a perpetual state of ice, that he thought could never be melted. As long as he didn’t overheat, either emotionally or physically, he would not suffer the consequences of his congenital positivity. As long as he did not mess up, or step out of line, he would be just fine.

Except, when he did mess up. He hadn’t experienced this amount of torture in years, when he and his finally were finally able to adjust to life insided confining cages. And sometimes, outsiders came along and ruined their maintenance. Sometimes, people shook the metal bars that entrapped Chongyun.

He groaned out, dizzy and nauseous from his returned conscious. There was also the worsened affliction to his body, barely seeing the crimson surrounding his head. His body curled inwards, cringing at the pain, the movement making everything double in its intensity. He heard his own name be called out, and he knew the voice, but he did not bother to respond. He couldn’t force his mouth to open on its own. Instead, he passed out again, and then woke up moments later.

The cycle of agony continued for what felt like millions of years, surpassing even the lifetime of Archons themselves. With each time he woke up, his suffering increased tenfold. At some point, he knew he was releasing out high-pitched whines, coming from the deepest part within himself, but he could not bring himself to care less. All he wanted, for that time, was to pass out, but instead of waking back up again to experience his life of hurt, he wanted to remain unconscious. Stay in the mock-dead world for all of eternity. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to deal with the love that tormented his soul.

During one of his periods of awakeness, there was a hand pressed against the back of his sweat-drenched neck. It was a pinch, the twinge of pain not even comparable to the one residing in his current state of being. His body went limp, and he wasn’t able to see anything in front of him, nor was there anything to hear, touch, or taste.

—•—•—

The first thing that became apparent was the silent throne room. The second thing he noticed was that it actually wasn’t silent, because there were sobs coming from a person sitting on the throne, and there were defeating strikes of thunder coming from the outside world. Chongyun knew what was happening, and made sure to note every detail he saw. The prospect of having visions of the future was terrifying in the fact that he knew they would become true, but he understood the importance nonetheless. Truly, nothing inside the chamber had changed all that much- it was possible there was a misplaced vase or two.

Chongyun could not move his legs or feet, a significant factor that made his visions the most frustrating. All he could do was watch and fail to reach out to whatever future he was forced to watch. The prince narrowed his eyes, staring straight ahead. The figure curled onto the throne was a familiar one, though his mess of a hair was slightly out of character. It was then that he realized that the crying he heard was coming from the person sat unto the royal seat: his beloved servant, Xingqiu.

His fingertips stretched forward, along with his arm and shoulder. Chongyun wanted to stop whatever was making his best friend hurt so badly, but alas, the rest of his body did not comply. He was forced into a rooted position in front of the scene that made his heart ache. The letter Xingqiu held was stained with wet teardrops and a bit of something else, though the prince wasn’t able to identify what. The boy brought it to his chest, curling impossibly further into himself. The wails only got louder, more painful and full of sorrow and regret as time went on. It grated on Chongyun’s ears like a sword against a sword.

His eyes slowly opened, his gaze meeting not a pair of hazel eyes, but a blank ceiling. He wondered vaguely where his servant was, drowsiness muddling his thinking abilities. The remains of sleep crusted the edges of his eyes, making him question when the last time he got enough sleep for that to happen was. He pushed himself into a sitting position, noticing the way his arms could barely hold his body weight. Chongyun groggily turned his head to the side, finally seeing Xingqiu. He was leaning against the nightstand, head dipped and against his chest, a troubled look on his face despite obviously being asleep.

Chongyun’s eyes widened as he recalled the events of the night before- was it a night before? He forgot how long it took for him to wake up after a positivity attack. That didn’t matter, though. What mattered was that Xingqiu was alive, unhurt, and still in servant clothes beside his bed. In some ways, it reminded him of when they first met, where the boy had sat in a similar position, explaining the plot of one of his favorite stories. He wished he could go back to that time. Life was much easier, back then.

While he was debating on whether or not he should wake up his servant, Xingqiu’s head lifted. His gaze traveled from side to side, eventually settling on the prince’s upright body. They were silent for a moment, only staring at each other with unreadable emotions that sent electricity between them, shocking their inner cores. Chongyun considered speaking, but Xingqiu beat him to it. “Thank Archons, you’re okay.” The boy stood up, but not making an effort to move towards the bed-ridden prince. His arms were tucked firmly at his sides.

Chongyun forced himself to nod, his head running with questions that he wanted to ask, but felt like he couldn’t voice them. His throat felt scratchy and weak. After seconds of silence, Xingqiu was able to fill in the blanks that were invisible in the air. “I apologize for my lack of explanation before, my liege.” His face flushed a bit. “I’ll start from the beginning, if that is what you wish. Then, you can decide my fate.”

The prince wasn’t sure what ‘the beginning’ was, and he wasn’t too keen to find out. Yet, he knew it was necessary. The last sentence his servant spoke left a bitter taste in his mouth; he still wasn’t sure of what to make of the betrayal exposed that night. He wasn’t even sure if he believed it, but judging by the body language of his friend, there was at least some sincerity to what he said. He nodded his head, indicating for Xingqiu to continue.

Oh boy, did he explain what happened. “My older brother, the temporary leader of the pirate crew, devised a plan for me to become your servant- to reach the roots of this castle. He ordered a pseudo attack of a few of the crewmates against your father and his men, for me to protect the king, and successfully drive away the ‘bad guys,’ furthermore, gaining your father’s trust. It worked, obviously,” He smiled bitterly as he gestured to his outfit, “as I am here now, with you.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He recollected his thoughts, and Chongyun patiently waited. His emotions were a memory in his mind, at this point. He was able to think clearly now, without the invasion of personal feelings. He supposed it was both a blessing and a curse to have this burnout of any feeling at all after an overheat of positivity, as he also wished he could feel something as his best friend explained how he was supposed to murder him.

“After that, I would go on to befriend you, have you put your absolute faith in me and my actions, believe that I would never do anything wrong to you. That was when I was supposed to lead you astray, and bring you back to the ship on the new moon, and have your heart torn out of your chest.” He drawled out the last words, cringing as he said them. Chongyun could see the build up of tears in the boy's eyes. He did not continue to speak, his explanation apparently over. In all honesty, Chongyun thought that he could’ve done a much better job, considering how the boy would usually speak in beautiful, diverse language.

He supposed he should feel betrayed, or hurt. Maybe he did, somewhere deep down. There was a problem, though. Xingqiu hadn’t killed him, hadn’t followed through with the plan made by his brother. Most importantly, there was a key detail that was not being told. Why did the pirates need Chongyun dead? He understood assassination attempts to the members of the royal family, but what his servant described was nothing short of a ritual to the Archons, it seemed. His voice was hoarse, and it throbbed when he spoke. “Why kill me?”

Xingqiu patted down his hair. “Our captain- Captain Beidou- was murdered in cold blood, which is why my brother has taken the leadership role for now. One of the crewmates then shared a prophecy they had in a dream that night, and the lines proclaimed that if heartstrings from a heart made of too much positive energy were to be sacrificed to the water reflecting a new moon, our captain would be revived, and we could prosper once more.”

Chongyun narrowed his eyes. It seemed oddly familiar, and it scratched at the back of his mind like a cat to a wooden door. He asked if Xingqiu could recite the so-called prophecy, to which the boy complied. As the stanzas were spoken in coded lines, Chongyun realized he recognized it, but not because he had seen it in a vision or dream. If he could muster up the emotion to laugh, he would’ve. It was honestly so stupid, an ironic humor contrasting the seriousness in his servant’s tone.

Chongyun shook his head once Xingqiu finished. He didn’t know how his servant was going to react to the news, or if he’d believe him. He himself had trouble believing the other, so he had no reason to think that the same wouldn’t be applied back. “That’s a poem from a children’s book.” He deadpanned, eyes showing no emotion as he gazed at the watery hazel hues of the other.

“What?” The servant reeled back, almost tripping over his own feet. “No, no that’s not- that can’t be true.” He rushed out his words, hands fiddling with each other in a fit of nervousness.

Chongyun shrugged. “It’s called Forever the Faith May Seize the Soul . It’s a collection of poems to read to children as they fall asleep. My mother used to read it to me all the time.” He flashed back to the memories of when he was young, the queen caressing his forehead as she read out a poem from the old book. It smelt like the woods after a heavy rain, and it gave Chongyun a sense of ease as his energy leveled out inside of him. At the present, it wasn’t his mother beside his bed, but his servant, who was cowered in a state of denial. “You can find it in the library, if you doubt me so much.” It was getting easier to talk, now that his vocal chords had time to stretch out.

Slowly, Xingqiu lowered his hands from where they were surrounding his head and scratching in his previous state of panic. “I believe you.” Chongyun hadn’t been expecting that . “A past crewmate had said that before, but nobody believed him. He was thrown overboard by his own sister.” Chongyun watched carefully as the boy relived a painful memory. His body was stiff. “That’s why I don’t like being a pirate. There is no trust between us. We are just a band of criminals.”

“Why don’t you leave them?”

“They are all I’ve ever known.” The boy had thought of that response before, the phrase sounding as though it’d been rehearsed a thousand times in front of a shattered mirror. Change can be hard, especially when it comes to a constant you’ve had in your life since you were small. There was a moment of quiet, and their thoughts were almost audible. “But… I think I’m ready to leave, now.”

Chongyun let the boy do the talking, let him explain his woes to an avid listener. “I’m tired of having to steal every book I wish to read. I’m tired of watching my crewmates drink and yell at each other. I’m tired of lying, tricking, and deceiving innocent people.” He wasn’t sure if Xingqiu had ever talked to anyone like this before. “They would just kill me if I tried to tell them the truth about the prophecy. Perhaps Lumine would throw me over, just like she did to Aether. I’m not too keen to die by their hands, you know.” He spoke of how he thought his brother was incompetent, and how low of a life he lived when he spent time with his crew.

When he was done lamenting, which extended for quite some time, Chongyun voiced a question that had been bugging him since Xingqiu woke up. He was hesitant to ask him, because it made his heart hurt a little. That was a lot of emotion, considering his burnout. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”

Chongyun didn’t know what the answer was going to be. He doubted that Xingqiu really meant it- he could’ve been lying, just like he had been for such a long time. Even through that, Chongyun wanted him to lie, just one more time. Lie and say that he held Chongyun in the same regard that the prince held him. It would hurt less than facing the reality of unrequited love.

“I did, and still do.” The prince’s hands shook. “I will leave, if that is what you wish for me to do. I understand if you wish for me to perish under the fading sun, my liege.” The sincerity poked at the royal’s brain, making his eye twitch. “I will comply without hesitation.”

No, that’s not what he wanted. What he did want was to believe in his servant, and to follow him to the ends of Teyvat without fear or regret. They say that faith was blind, and he was willing to shut his eyes. He looked up from where he zoned out on his bedsheets. “What shall we do to avoid my death?”

There was a brief silence as the servant comprehended the message. Then, Xingqiu smiled. It was soft, genuine, and most of all, happy. His eyes sparkled with a new light, a new hope that had been lost before. Chongyun felt satisfaction warm his body. He hoped he was doing the right thing, teaming up with his pirate servant. He knew, deep down, that there was a certain doom looming ahead of them, clouds of lightning and thunder echoing their deepest and darkest fears. But at least he wouldn’t be facing it alone. He could hold Xingqiu’s hand and charge at it with their swords raised and spirits high.

After a while of discussing strategic plans in facing this storm, there was a knock at the chamber door, interrupting their air of concentration. It was a short, one-round pound, and Chongyun recognized it as his father’s. The door opened, revealing the relieved parents of his faces when they saw that their son was awake and talking. Similarly, Chongyun felt some sort of warmth at seeing his parents.

His mother rushed forward first, hands already spreading outwards in preparation for a hug. Xingqiu sidestepped, avoiding getting run over by the moving adult. After bowing to the royal members, he was quietly told to leave the room temporarily by the king. He followed the orders politely, sparing one last glance at the prince before shutting the door behind him. He took their plans, secrets, and fears with him, and Chongyun could only pray that it would stay that way.

Arms wrapped around him, and he became grateful for the comfort that surrounded him. It was a nice change from the serious tone just a minute ago. His father patted his shoulder from the other side of the bed. He had never been as good at expressing his feelings like his mother was, something Chongyun unfortunately inherited. Nevertheless, he knew how to read the man by then, and let himself smile a little at the gesture.

They exchanged their greetings, and spoke about what he was feeling, both physically and mentally. They explained how long he was out for, and what happened during that time. Apparently, there had been a between some merchants and a few pirates. Chongyun couldn’t help but to wonder if Xingqiu had been a part of that. It made his skin crawl with vague anxiety, and he quickly turned his mind to something else.

He was dreading the question that they would inevitably ask. He knew it was reasonable and rather necessary to ask, but that didn’t mean he wanted to answer it. “What was your vision about this time, son?” His mother had a guilty look on her face, and the prince didn’t blame her. Ever since they realized he had visions of the future after he went through a positivity attack, they had to go through the uncomfortable process of asking their hurt and worn out son what it was he saw.

He averted his eyes, unsure of how to answer it. As he thought, he was coming to a rather unfortunate conclusion of what the vision might mean. There was a possibility that he was wrong, though, and he wanted to hang onto that hope for as long as his grip would let him. And so, that was why he chose to say the following words: “I can’t really talk about it. But, I will tell you that I need to keep Xingqiu as my servant.” He met his father’s eyes. “He can know the truth about me.” Xingqiu already knew about his congenital positivity, but it wasn’t like he was going to tell his parents that.

His father narrowed his eyes at him, suspicion flaring up in his eyes. His mother held her son’s hand, squeezing tightly. He could tell that she wanted to question him further, but she always held a soft spot in her heart for the young man, so she would let him go on without another word on the subject. The king, however, would be a different story. He predicted the sentence that would fall out of the man’s mouth, and was not surprised when it turned out to be correct.

“You already told him, didn’t you?” Chongyun sighed, nodding his head. He didn’t hold any regret for lying to his father, for whatever reason. “That can’t be helped now, I suppose. I trust in him as well, so let us hope he will serve you until the end.” The prince sure hoped that, too.

—•—•—

Chongyun perked up at the sound of his bedroom door opening. The quill was deposited back into the ink pot, his hand flying out to hover above his parchment, covering it from view without getting his palm stained in the process. His servant had a nasty habit of not knocking before entering a room, tending to scare his master in the process. It made hiding surprises from the boy a lot harder.

“Wonderful news! Not only do we have one wolf pack on our side, but two!” His arms waved sporadically in the air in his excitement. The necklace in his hand swung back and forth dangerously, the metal charm glinting as it hit the sunlight. The prince stood up from his chair in vague curiosity, making sure to lean against his desk in order to block the letter from view.

Chongyun hummed his approval. There was a boy who lived out in the woods named Razor who had a long-standing hatred for the Xingqiu’s crew after a rather unfortunate incident with one of the wolves he knew. Part of the plan the servant and prince developed to take down the pirates was to recruit Razor and his wolf pack, since they came to the conclusion that the Knights of Favonious would be too easily cut down. Despite Chongyun’s various warnings and apprehensions, Xingqiu decided it would be a bright idea for himself to meet up with the boy. The prince was surprised he didn’t have any visible bruises, other than the dark purple one on his jawline.

“What has Diluc been doing?” Since Xingqiu revealed his true identity, there had been a number of things that came along with that. His stealing of books, money, jewelry, committing various violent acts, as well as the fact that his personal bodyguard was also undercover, a pirate just like his servant. It wasn’t an easy pill to swallow when he had been told that information, especially considering not only him but his father were deceived twice over. Chongyun wasn’t allowed to dwell on it for long, though. The more time he wasted upset over the unalterable, the more time lost that could be spent on developing well-thought out plans that guaranteed the safety of him and his servant.

Xingqiu moved to be closer to his lover. “Nothing important. Still complaining about you as always.” The boy rolled his eyes. Apparently, Chongyun made Diluc’s skin crawl with the anxiety and discomfort, the urge to flee ever prevalent in his body and mind. That was why he always stayed so far away from the prince. Turns out, he really never watched Chongyun since he learned that the prince’s life was rather boring and didn’t consist of many royal secrets or important information that could be used as blackmail or something or other.

Chongyun narrowed his eyes at the jewelry piece. Suspicion creeped up his spine, and he was asking a question before he could think to do anything else. “Did you steal that?” The prince liked to have faith in his servant, he really did, it was just that sometimes, he had got a feeling that the boy was up to no good.

Xingqiu tightened his lips together as he held out the necklace. It was actually rather beautiful; it was a light blue gemstone, almost clear and looking like it was made out of ice, formed into a perfect crystal shape. At the very end, a blue bead hung off of the end of the material the necklace was made out of: thick brown leather cut into a string. “Do you want the truth or the answer you want to hear?”

“The answer I want to hear.”

XIngqiu smiled politely, but not without the mischievous glint in his eyes. “I did not steal this necklace.”

Chongyun rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Xingqiu grabbed at his hand gently, placing the jewelry on his palm and carefully rolling the royal’s fingers back into a fist shape. “I thought you brought money with you?” It was true- Chongyun had handed him a bag full of mora, just in case he needed to buy a thing or two, possibly for Razor or for his own pleasure. It didn’t make sense that the boy would have to resort to stealing again.

“In order to guarantee my safety, Razor requested that I give him all the money I had.” He glanced down at his feet, shifting from foot to foot. Chongyun prodded at the necklace, not sure what to do with it. “He said he wanted to get his friend, Bennett, something, which doesn’t make sense because he’s a wolf boy.” He threw in his arms in the air in exasperation, as if he didn’t believe the words that were coming out of his own mouth. “Then, as I was making my way back from the harbor, I noticed an alluring necklace that I definitely did not have the money for, and I thought would look very nice on you, so I…” He trailed off at the end of his sentence. Guilt thickened the air around the two, making Chongyun feel bad at his accusations.

“This is for me, then?” The prince let a smile grace his lips. Xingqiu hadn’t been able to get him anything before, despite expressing wishes to do so. No matter the fact that it was stolen- Chongyun could go to the harbor at some point to pay it off, or force his servant to do it himself. It was most likely going to be the latter. “Thank you, Xingqiu.”

Xingqiu waved it off. “May I do the honors of putting it on you?” With those puppy eyes, Chongyun wasn’t sure he could ever deny him. Besides, they’d gone too long without any physical contact. He was confident enough to admit that he was touch-starved from his own lover. He missed the way his hands would contrast the prince’s ever-cold skin, or the way his fingertips never seemed to become calloused, no matter how many days of hard work he committed himself to. He also touched him in a caring way, like the prince was a delicate glass vase that one had to handle with the utmost patience and love.

They moved together to the middle of the room, the servant unraveling the string holding the pieces together once he had been handed back the jewelry. “Say, what are you writing on that parchment paper?” Chongyun resisted the urge to freeze where he was standing. He needed to think quickly, otherwise his servant would become suspicious and take a look for himself, abandoning placing the necklace around the prince’s neck.

“It’s a surprise, for after we go through with our plan.” Xingqiu, crying in an empty throne room, clutching a tear-stained letter as the storm raged on. “You’ll have to trust me on this.” He was good at telling half-truths. From the click of his tongue and the hands starting to caress his neck, the boy had appeared to believe what he was saying. Chongyun mentally sighed in relief, thankful that they were able to move past that with a breeze.

There was a hum that filled the air, going along to the tune of a song they once heard a bard sing in town. It was peaceful, and Chongyun wished they could stay like that forever, with Xingqiu hands wrapped around his body as they swayed back and forth. They were an unreachable island, far away from the hurricane that wrecked the mainland. They had to return at some point, though, and unlatch themselves from the comfort they had built together on the sandy beach.

—•—•—

No matter how much he tried to calm his heart, it continued to rage uncomfortably in his chest. His grip on Xingqiu’s hand became tighter as he nearly tripped over a tree root in his path. His lover squeezed comfortingly back, a motion that was sadly done in vain, as Chongyun did not calm down at all from his panic. He could practically feel the blood rushing through his veins, and the air travel in and out of his lungs as he breathed heavily.

Xingqiu halted in his tracks, causing Chongyun to bump into him. He stepped back nervously, muttering an apology before looking over his servant’s shoulder to see what caused the hold up. In front of them stood a hooded boy with a nasty scar running across his cheek. His blood-red eyes peered into Chongyun’s light blue ones, creating chills that ran up and down his spine. Without breaking eye contact, the boy flicked his wrist, extending out and then coming back towards him. Before the prince knew what was going on, the lovers were surrounded by wolves of different shapes and furs.

Chongyun instinctively grabbed at the hilt of his sword, but Xingqiu rested his hand on top of the royal’s, effectively stopping his master from drawing his weapon. “They are not here to harm us.” His voice wavered, unsure of the words he spoke. The nod from the wolf boy, Razor, however, was more stable and reassuring. It got him to drop his hands by his side, at least. The wolves closed in, sticking their noses out as they memorized the smell of the newcomers.

Razor’s speech was rough, obviously not acclimated to talking all that much. “Need to separate your smell from their smell.” Chongyun nodded, trying not to flinch as a wet snout hit his clothes. He understood why the process, but that doesn’t mean he had to enjoy it. He latched onto Xingqiu again, desperate for some sort of comfort to come from the other. Fortunately, it worked a bit this time, because seeing the similar discomfort on his face made him feel just a bit better about himself.

Once they were done and backed away, Razor turned around and began to walk in the direction of the pirate camp. The wolves and people alike followed after him. Admittedly, his presence felt more like that of a leader than any king or queen Chongyun had ever met. That was saying something large, because the boy had met a lot of royals in his life. It was a requirement of sorts, being the only heir to the throne and all.

As they walked, Chongyun thought over their plan, and why they chose the things they did. It was his only option to fill up the silence that was making his head hurt. His hand intertwined with Xingqiu’s, but it didn’t provide him what he really wanted- to hear him speak, to talk about the interesting stories he read, the places he explored, or the people he met. It was so, so much better than having to create his own, internal noise. He wondered how he had ever done it before.

The first part of their plan was already complete: Meet up with Razor and the two wolf packs. The next step was to arrive at the pirate campsite, which, from Xingqiu’s map that he proudly showed off multiple times, was not far away from where they currently were. After that, Xingqiu will parade Chongyun into the camp like he had captured the prince for their prophecy, putting on his final deceit in his life of piracy. In hopes that they are caught off guard, Xingqiu will signal for the wolves to come out from the trees and attack the pirates.

After a while of discussion in the initial stage of the planning, they mutually agreed it would be best to not tell anyone else of everything going on, especially not the king or the queen. First of all, telling them would require them to actually believe that they were speaking the truth about Xingqiu’s betrayal, his redemption, and the ritual including Chongyun’s heartstrings. Depending on whether or not they accepted their truth, Xingqiu could’ve been thrown into prison or publicly executed. Then, Chongyun would have to deal with the consequences of his own actions, of trusting the servant with his life, and worse yet, falling in love with him.

There had also been the pirates to take into consideration. Xingqiu couldn’t just abandon the pirates- they would be after his head in no time, ready to murder their crewmate for disloyalty, as well as the secrets he carried. They then would simply repeat the same actions as they had before, with someone who wasn’t going to fall in love with the crown prince, putting his life at an increased danger. Diluc had proven to be a problem as well, because he could just as easily snatch away the prince just as Xingqiu had been ordered to do.

He huffed out a breath as the group came to a collective stop. His hands shook by his side, not just from the cold air. There was a mist surrounding them, and the new moon did not shine like it should’ve on a normal day, creating a more eerie and haunting atmosphere that the prince did not appreciate. He forced his thoughts to conclude themselves in their internal ramblings as they went over the plan again and again, exposing and exploiting any flaws they saw. It was simple fear-mongering, and he didn’t have to pay attention to it if he didn’t want to. Despite that, his breathing was still uneven.

Xingqiu turned to look him in the eyes. No oral sentences were exchanged, but thousands of words were transmitted through their gazes. Chongyun wanted to cry. He wanted to turn tail and run as far away as he could from this place, and live a life in his castle with his lover at his side. Yet, he knew that could not happen. Fate would eventually catch up with him, and he would be forced to face and fight death whether he liked it or not. So, with his lover by his side, he would charge at it with his sword raised and screaming like a banshee.

Chongyun closed his eyes to gather his nerves, and when he opened them, Xingqiu was moving to change his grip. His hand raised to latch an arm around the prince’s neck, and he whispered so quietly to the point where Chongyun could barely hear him despite his mouth being pressed against his ear, that he was sorry if it hurt at all. The royal did not reply.

Xingqiu half-dragged Chongyun down the side of the mountain, and about halfway started to make his steps louder and less controlled to alert the pirates of his coming. Chongyun’s heart rate spiked impossibly further at the groans of the pirates and shouts of, ‘Who's there?’ coming from just down their path. Their show will begin soon. He prepared himself for the most important acting performance he would ever put on in his entire life.

“Xingqiu! And I’ve caught us a very special prince!” Chongyun focused on the charm from the necklace he had been given by his lover. It would now be his anchor, from then to the moment they defeated the pirates that lay ahead. Cheers erupted from the unruly group as he was dragged into the open camp, the ocean waves splashing against the shore, controlled by a moon that did not show it’s face that night.

Chongyun scratched at Xingqiu’s forearms, struggling against the hold that tightened on his neck. His feet squirmed in an attempt to get away, the anxiety flowing through his body all-too real. The numerous amounts of times they had practiced that hold alone did not compare to the actual scene, where he had to face the crowd of criminals cheering for his death. He swallowed, his small Adam's apple bumping against his servant’s limb.

They stopped, and Chongyun unfortunately made eye contact with his personal guard, Diluc. He feigned a surprised look, not missing the way the man’s face contorted into a sly grin. He let his fear take over his visage somewhat, as he still had to keep some if it down to avoid an attack from his congenital positivity. That would effectively ruin their entire plan, and personally, he would rather not go through the absolutely horrid cycle that is his overheating.

“Everyone! Pirates of the seas and lands of Teyvat- tonight, we shall celebrate! Our suffering ends now, with the heartstrings of the Prince of Liyue scattered in the ocean, and his body buried in the sand. Our beloved captain will be brought back from the dead, and she shall lead us to prosperity once more!” His fist was held high in the air, the speech ringing insistently in the prince’s ears. Xingqiu sounded so sure of himself, so confident, and positively genuine, that Chongyun wondered in pure terror if this was going to be the end of him. If their time spent together really had been all a lie, a deceit from the beginning until the very end. If the necklace he had begun to cherish was really a mockery of his naivety.

Xingqiu brought his hand back down in a fast motion, slapping his hand against his thigh with an audible clap. Wolves flooded the clearing, already slashing and attacking at the pirates without any warning. Once they became the center of focus, Xingqiu let go of his master in a hurried movement. They shared a glance at each other for a mere second before nodding and separating from each other, going off to fight against the pirates on their own. Chongyun drew his sword with shaking hands, immediately locking into a battle with a girl about his height, her hair a light blonde and a crazed look flashing in her amber eyes.

Chongyun had sparred with Xingqiu a multitude of times to prepare him for the style in which pirates fought in. He was no stranger to regular combat as well, but this was certainly new for him. In a flurry of motions, they slashed at each other, drawing blood on various spots on their body. Around them, bodies and wolves alike were dropping dead, crimson staining the grass, and much further out, the wet sand. Overall, it appeared that the wolves were winning, only a few pirates left standing. They were fighting with all they had, though, their battle cries filling the air that had once been so quiet.

Chongyun spared himself a glance over to Xingqiu’s direction, to see how he was doing. He clashed swords with a man much taller than him, yet they appeared to be similar in visage and stature. He realized rather abruptly that it must’ve been the boy’s brother he was fighting, as he had gone over the fact that his brother was the temporary captain of the crew.

Just as he looked back to refocus on his fight, figuring Xingqiu could hold out until Chongyun was able to take down the girl in front of him, he felt cool metal rip through his tunic and press against his skin. He felt the warm liquid trickle down his chest, right beside his heart beat wildly. He couldn’t feel the pain- not at first, when her blade was still inside his chest, holding him still in the air as his own sword clattered to the ground softly at his feet. The edge ran across his insides as she pulled it back out. The dark scarlet staining the blade glistened in a horrifically beautiful way as she toppled over from a wolf attacking her at the side.

Chongyun stumbled backwards, landing on his back in a heavy collision with the ground. He gasped, pain erupting from the gushing wound on his chest. He raised his hand with as much strength as he could muster to feel at the blood pouring out, a peculiar fascination with his own life seeping away from him at an incredible rate.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he fell, his vision blurry and his head swirling in dizziness. Two hands pressed against his cheek, tilting his head to make him look at whoever was touching him. His breath was coming out in short, shallow heaves, struggling to make use of his surely damaged lungs. He didn’t what to do now, other than stare at his teary-eyed lover.

There was a cut across Xingqiu’s forehead. It seemed shallow, and it had already stopped bleeding, but it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. “Can you hear me? Chongyun?” The prince plastered a gentle smile on his face, attempting at a small nod. Xingqiu’s fingertips made the skin on his cheek dip with the added pressure. “I- I love you. Please, please stay with me.” The servant sniffed, tears spilling down his face and colliding with each other at the end of his chin.

Chongyun fingered at his side, pulling out an envelope he had tucked away from view before they began their journey. His blood oozed through the thin material, most likely staining the parchment inside. He didn’t mind that much- as long as it was readable, it would all be okay, in the end. He rested it on his hip, balancing precariously on the rounded edge. Xingqiu continued to cry, staring at the chest of his lover. Chongyun reached out with the last of the strength he had, placing a red hand against a wet cheek.

Xingqiu met the prince’s eyes, holding his hand in place with his own resting firmly on top of it. “Don’t go.” Chongyun had to leave, he knew that. The pirates had all left to their resting places- it was only fair that the prince were to follow after them, whether he was going up or down was beyond his control. All he wished was that he would eventually be reunited again with his beloved.

Chongyun smiled, and drew in a shaky breath. “I love you, Xingqiu. No matter the past you lived or the future you will follow, I will always love you, through life and through death.” He spoke his truth in a quiet voice, unable to speak louder than a whisper to his lover. He knew his words got through, though, from the way Xingqiu’s expression morphed and changed from his words. The sky above began to mourn the losses at the day’s massacre, a raindrop falling against his outstretched arm that held no strength.