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“Would anyone care? Would anyone cry, if I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight? Would anything change? Would you all be just fine? Cause I need a reason to not throw the fight. It just might save my life.”
Corso sighed as he heard the strains of the song come from under the door to his and Leikael’s room. Well technically, it was only Leikael’s since she had partial ownership of this Nar Shaddaa apartment. Though he had moved into her quarters on the ship a few weeks back and she’d made it clear that the arrangement included the apartment. They’d arrived the day before and while the rest of the crew wanted to hit the cantina’s and markets, Kael had locked herself in her room and hadn’t left. It had been a terrible coincidence, running into what was left of the crew that had grabbed her on Tatooine, and a crew that had turned on her on Mek-Sha (he hadn’t known who they were then or they wouldn’t still be breathing) at the same time. Then getting some tragic news about some of the Solar Flare crews they’d been working with recently as soon as they got back to the ship. He wasn’t surprised that the usually tough as nails captain was falling apart. But he couldn’t stand seeing her like this. He’d sat with her all night. He was the only one she wanted to talk about what had happened with. He’d only stepped out to get some food for them since the apartment only had really old ration bars that were probably just dust by now. It seemed like she’d gotten worse in just the few minutes that he’d been gone.
As he placed the food on the counter and started pulling out a few plates. His girl really needed to eat, it had been what, two days now, since he’d last seen her eat anything that wasn’t soaked in alcohol. He listened for any other sounds. It didn’t seem like there was anyone else in the apartment.
What could he do though? He’d spent the night holding her, comforting her, trying to help, but it hadn’t seemed to have any effect. The experiences just dragging up old memories and old pain from earlier times in her life. By the Force, thinking about her past hurt him! And he hadn’t even been the one to live it! She’d lived through so much, endured so much, had her childhood shattered and erased far too young and her suffering just seemed to continue. He couldn’t seem to stop it from haunting her, no matter how much he wanted to. Her childhood, it had ended far too early, but it was the last time she felt life was safe. That gave him an idea. It possibly wasn’t the best he’d ever had, but it was something he hadn’t tried yet.
If he remembered correctly, and he was certain he did, she hadn’t had anything resembling a childhood since she was six, so maybe a piece of that would help her. He needed supplies though. He tucked the food in the reheater to stay warm and slipped into the room where Leikael lay curled under a single blanket, staring blankly ahead, her eyes still red and drying tear tracks on her cheeks. Another one of those painfully sad songs started. His heart nearly broke at the sight of the woman he loved more than anything in the galaxy looking so sad and scared and alone. He sat next to her and brushed the hair from her face, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to her forehead. She instantly curled around him, hiding her face and trapping him where he was. She was a tactile woman, touch was something that meant so much to her and while she was careful with it, he’d found she seemed to never get enough.
“I thought of something that might help you feel a little better darling. Do you think you could try and eat?”
Leikael watched as Corso filled his arms with all the blankets from their room and most of the pillows and walked out of the room. He’d sat with her for a few minutes before pulling out his datapad and telling her he was getting rooms at one of the Cantina’s for the crew and letting them know. He’d told her he’d only be another minute, slipped out of her arms and started grabbing the soft things in the room. She heard what sounded like furniture being moved in the other room, the one with a big terminal for holovids from the sounds of things. It was an investment that she’d been happy about when she and Nat had finally had enough credits to buy anything after getting this place. If she had any energy left, she’d be curious about what he was up to, but she was just so tired, tired and useless and pathetic and everything hurt. It’d be so easy to just walk out of the apartment, but even the room seemed so big, and she was so tired. She let the music play on and lost herself in the melodies. The lyrics filled with as much pain as she felt.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d zoned out for when she felt a hand gently touch her lower arm. She blinked back to awareness and as she did, Corso smiled down at her before sliding his arms underneath her and picking her up along with her blanket. He carried her across the apartment to the holovid room as she’d taken to calling it.
There, in the middle of the room, where there was usually a variety of furniture, was a strange structure made of the back of a couch, many blankets and what appeared to be the chairs from around the table in the kitchen. “What is that?”
Corso blinked down at her for a moment before gently setting her on her feet and helping to hold her up as he guided her towards the thing in the room. “It’s a blanket fort. Didn’t you build these with your sisters when you were a kid?”
“They weren’t this big. It was usually a blanket over a table” She stared in confusion. How had he managed to get the blankets to stay up?
“Well, that wouldn’t fit us, now would it.” He smiled at her, and crouched down crawling through a small entrance that he’d somehow fit into the design. As she got to the interior, she looked around. The space was small and contained, but cozy and not constricting. The floor was covered in pillows and blankets except for a small table on which sat two plates, some bottles of water and a pile of various snacks. Corso had settled himself in the middle of the fort leaning back completely relaxed, an arms reach away from the food and the remote for the terminal, which had been moved onto the ground and into the blanket fort. He opened his arms and her heart hurt. She’d been a mess for almost two days straight, she was tired and hurt and nothing like herself. She’d dealt with panic attacks and pushed him away, and all he did was open up more, give more to try and help her. She silently thanked the Force for sending him into her life as she dragged herself over to him and collapsed into his arms.
He held her quietly for a few moments, before helping her sit up against him and handing her the plate with the smaller portion and pushing a button on the remote. “Way I see it, you haven’t had a chance to relax with a good old blanket fort and movie night in years. This is one me and my sister would watch all the time as kids. Mama would help us build the Fort and sometimes, we were able to persuade her to sit and watch movies with us.” She stared at the food, not wanting to eat, but as the colorful movie with it’s soft and sweet soundtrack began playing and Corso wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to rest against his chest, tucked under blankets and surrounded by the warmth and the soft lights. The hurt felt a little further away and she was able to take a few bites.
Corso tucked his chin over her head and gently squeezed, his beautiful, deep voice softly singing along with the opening song of the movie that held so much meaning for him, she felt herself drifting off softly. He lifted the plate and returned it to the table as she curled tighter against him and his arms wrapped around her again. The movie played as they held each other, the comfort blocking out all the pain that the galaxy had heaped upon them, at least for a few hours. They had each other, and cuddles and blanket forts, and for tonight, that was just enough.