Chapter Text
It had been a couple of weeks since Inuyasha arrived in London, England. The hanyou had been nervous, but also so ready to be the fuck outta Japan, he hadn’t thought twice about accepting a trip to study abroad in a foreign country, away from his asshole brother.
Sesshomaru, since he had been mated, hadn’t been so bad, but Inuyasha was ready to be on his own, and not have to impress the daiyoukai. Or have his tuition being covered thrown in his face when he decided to get shit-faced every once in a while. It was fuckin’ college! Inuyasha could do whatever he wanted! He’d gotten a scholarship for his heritage, and also for his grades and whatever, and sure…. Sesshomaru may have pushed the college board to let Inuyasha in, despite the fact he had the grades and the scholarships, for an extra price, but fuck!! He was twenty-four years old and about to fuckin’ graduate with his goddamn master’s! Of Business ! The degree his brother had made him venture into! He deserved to fuckin’ live!
So, there the hanyou stood, outside the tutoring building. Why? Because:
- His fucking English sucked dick.
- To make his case for staying in school, he needed to be a little more proficient in this foreign language and...
- Because the most beautiful girl worked inside.
Gulping, he opened the doors and walked in, making his way down the hall. His ears twitched as he tried to hear her musical voice.
Inuyasha had met her by chance; he had been struggling in English, and more or less had to suck it up and get help. It was that or return home. And returning home was not a fuckin’ option. He had to prove he was capable and able to fuckin’ do this so that he could be a part of his brother’s company, and so that the bastard would leave him the hell alone.
So, the hanyou had sucked it up and went to the tutoring center… and that’s where he met--
“Inuyasha!” The cheerful voice of his tutor rang. The young girl stood up, standing at only five foot two, wearing black leggings and a thick green sweater that cuffed at her wrists. Her bright blue eyes shone with extreme happiness and excitement. Walking towards him with the graceful gait that she possessed, he noticed she was wearing her tall brown riding boots that went up to her knees with cream socks poking out. How was she so stunning? So sensual without even trying? It wasn’t fuckin’ fair.
“H-Hey,” he replied in English.
“How are you doing today?” she asked, now standing in front of him, allowing her scent of lavender and honey to wash over him.
“Fine.”
She giggled. The giggle was like a motherfucking sympathy. Teasing. Intriguing. All-around magical… “Did you already forget our previous lessons?”
“No. Just uh--kind of off today.”
“Aw,” she cooed, placing her arm on his bicep as she squeezed slightly, “everything alright? Sesshomaru bothering you?”
“N-No.” Not really. No. The person who was that was actually fuckin’ brothering him was--
“Kagome! We’re catching dinner and a movie later right?” That mother-fucking Hojo…
Hojo was Kagome’s flatmate. And they spent most of their time together. So… Inuyasha was shit out of luck. The one girl he had actually really irrevocably fallen for by mistake might as well have been married already. She basically was.
“Yes! I’ll be done around seventeen. Meet you at home?”
“Sounds good,” Hojo said as he stepped away and headed towards the door, and Inuyasha felt his heart drop into his stomach. Fuck.
Hojo wasn’t the only thing in his way, though; Inuyasha was set to graduate with his masters and he was gonna have to go back home. There was a job, a really fuckin’ good job, and while it was with his asshole brother, the pay and the position couldn’t be ignored. It was an amazing opportunity, and if he realllllllly hated the job, he would at least get experience and be able to show he wasn’t a worthless nobody who didn’t have anything to show on his resume.
And Kagome…? From what she had said in some of their sessions, she said she thought about staying on with the university. They paid her decently and provided the flat that she and Hojo shared. That meant staying in London. Likely with Hojo. Her boyfriend.
She didn’t wear a ring, but it was the 21st century! People didn’t flaunt being in a relationship--they would brag about commitments like engagements, living together, or marriages. The words ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ were childish… And a woman as beautiful and as nice as Kagome? She deserved the full love and promise of someone. Which sucked, because that someone was Hojo. Not him. Not a hanyou. Not someone who had a job lined up in Japan. Not someone who had to rely on his brother…
No. She deserved better.
“Inuyasha?” Kagome asked again, pulling him from his thoughts. Her beautiful sapphire eyes were full of concern as her hand squeezed his arm again comfortingly, “Are you sure you’re ok? You seem lost…”
“Kind of am--but I’ll be fine.”
“Wanna talk about it?” she offered as she tugged on his bicep, pulling him over to her desk to sit down in the chair beside hers. Usually, they sat that way… It was different from how she sat with most of the people she tutored. But to be fair, they were both born in Japan and completely fluent in Japanese and just--clicked. They bonded so quickly, and it was nice to not have to try to impress her, or pretend or act like anyone who wasn’t him.
Kagome had made him soft--unlike his previous relationships with Yura and Kikyo. Yura had just wanted sex. Sex was great and all--but Inuyasha had been looking for more of a connection. Not just… humping the fuck out of each other and using his hair to tie each other up. Kikyo was different. They had been in a steady relationship, but she made him be someone he wasn’t: Passive. Quiet. Demon.
All Inuyasha wanted was someone to love him--care about him… and while Kikyo claimed she cared, she had a weird way of showing it. Oddly enough, it was her who ended up ending things with him… turned out they had actually shared a common interest: women.
She was dating a wind demon named Kagura, and while Inuyasha was a little upset by the breakup and the whole ‘you led me on’ thing… they remained friends. Close enough that he had also talked to Kikyo about Kagome, who advised him to just listen to his heart. If he had when they had been together, he would have realized just how wrong for each other they had been.
“Uh… just. Nervous.”
“Mmmm,” she hummed as her hand slowly moved down to take his own, stroking her thumb against his calloused fingers, “I understand. Graduation is approaching soon. For you, anyway. Are you scared to go back home? The position you told me about--you’re going to do amazing. Your English has gotten so good--you’ll be able to communicate with the States as well as Europe! You have nothing to be nervous about! Your future is set!”
A future without you seems too hard to bear… “Y-Yeah.” Not that he could tell her that. Kikyo was crazy. Not because she was gay--but the woman she decided to be with made him question her choices.
“Now then--what did you come here to work on today? Or do you just want to talk? We can do that! Tell me about your day,” she said with a comforting smile. It broke his heart knowing he would never see that again in a month. Because that’s all he had. Thirty days.
“Talked to Sess for a bit. Talked to Kikyo--”
“How are she and Kagura doing?”
“Fine. Try not to ask that.”
“What do you two talk about then?” Kagome giggled.
“Weird shit, I guess. She worries about me.”
“Being on your own here? She knows that you have me right?”
She wishes I had you… “Y-Yeah. She knows we are close.”
“Do you want to come to dinner tonight with Hojo and me? He won’t mind! Honest!”
“That’s alright--I have plans.” Liar. Liar. Liar. His plans were to mope in his room, drink some whiskey, and maybe rub one out thinking about the precious girl who he would never have.
“Oh, ok.” She squeezed his hand as her face dipped down--was that disappointment on her face? “You know you are always welcome, ok? I--I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I know you’re leaving and you’ll be so far but--I want to stay friends?”
“Of course,” he gasped and tightened his hand around hers. She smiled, relief flooding her face. “I don’t want to lose you either, Kagome.”
“Good. Alright. So, what else do you want to talk about?”
~~~~
“I think you’re still being stupid,” Kikyo chided through the phone.
“She has a boyfriend,” Inuyasha supplied, sipping on his whiskey neat.
“I had a boyfriend and was in love with somebody else,” she reminded him.
“Don’t remind me,” he groaned, wiping his hand over his face.
“She was totally asking you out,” Kagura chimed in. “It sounds like she isn’t even interested in Hojo. Maybe they are cousins, have you asked?”
“Shut up; no one asked you, wind witch.”
“Kagura is right, Inuyasha,” Kikyo replied steadily. “Women don’t just invite others out if it was clearly an intended date.”
“Kagome is just that type of person to take off her own sweater and give it to someone who is already wearing one.”
“Yes, so we heard…” Kagura groaned.
“Look, no one invited you into this conversation,” Inuyasha growled with impatience into the phone.
“Inuyasha… manners…” Kikyo warned.
“You ain’t suckin’ my cock, so pretty sure you don’t get to make me be your lap dog anymore.”
“Language,” Kikyo sighed. “Anyway, I still think you are wasting time. You could be trying to win Kagome over and try to convince her to move back home. You did say she is from Tokyo, right? What is keeping her in London?”
“A job.”
“She could take a job anywhere, Inuyasha. Was this her dream job?” Kikyo asked.
“Yeah--I mean--fuck--I don’t know! She seemed kinda excited by it!”
“As excited as you are about working with your brother?” Kagura questioned.
Inuyasha sat there, trying to remember exactly how Kagome had broken the news to him about being offered a position at the university to carry on with her master’s degree. She wanted to be an English professor and possibly study an additional language once she got her degree. French? Yeah. French was next.
“I don’t know. I guess? She didn’t jump up and down, but she didn’t cry over the offer either!”
“You say you love this girl, but have you even actually talked to her??” Kagura said snarkily.
“Look--I’m tryin’ to maintain some distance and keep our relationship somewhat professional, alright!?”
“Too late for that, Inuyasha,” Kikyo reminded him in her know-it-all voice. “You fell in love with her because you obviously both crossed the line of talking about personal and business topics. So, are you going to keep drinking away your nights, crying and moaning--”
“I AM NOT CRYING!!!”
“You likely are moaning though,” Kagura snickered.
“OI!”
“--about how you’ll never see this girl again because you won’t just take the chance and try?” Kikyo finished as if he and Kagura weren’t bickering in the background.
Inuyasha stayed silent. Pondering. Pandering. Pouting. He shouldn’t. The hanyou was better than that. He didn’t want to be the one to stand in Kagome’s way… That wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.
Sighing, he swallowed the jewel-sized lump in his throat. “Kikyo--I can’t--”
“Oh, Inuyasha,” Kikyo replied disappointedly. “When you stop trying to do the honorable thing and try to make yourself happy?”
“I dunno… Probably when it’s too late…” He hung up the phone, unwilling to hear anymore of their incessant complaining and advice that he really just didn’t want to hear at the moment.
One month. Inuyasha had one month with Kagome. In-person. The hanyou had to remind himself that she still wanted to be friends after he returned to Japan and that she was worried he wouldn’t want to be. That’s right. Inuyasha had to remind himself of that--of everything-- to keep his head right.
Thirty days until he graduated with his degree.
Thirty days until he returned home…
~~~~
“Good evening, Inuyasha!” Kagome greeted him from her desk. Rather than rushing to greet him like she usually did, she sat at the table munching on a salad.
“Hey, Kagome,” he said as he sat down across from her. Her head tilted in confusion as she chewed the lettuce.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, genuinely confused.
“Nothing’s wrong.” he replied, setting his navy backpack down on the floor. “Why do you think that?”
“You just--you’re sitting over there… Is my salad too pungent?? I can put it away until later--”
“No, no, eat your dinner. Why aren’t you eating with Hojo?”
“Because we had this time scheduled?”
“No I meant--why aren’t you going out with him later?” Was his English really that sucky? Or did he really just suck at communicating in general? It was probably the latter.
“Oooooh,” she smiled as she bent over in her bag, fishing out a foil-covered burger (smelled like cheese and bacon; fuck, he drooled like Pavlov’s fuckin’ dog) and a package of fries, “I figured we could have dinner together. I hope that’s not too presumptuous. Did you already eat?”
Fuck. Professional. He needed to keep it professional. But her deep blue eyes, the smell of that red juicy hamburger hiding within the wrappings that was making his mouth water like he hadn’t eaten in days, and his entire being inching closer and closer to hopping chairs so she could actually sit right next to him--
“N-No. I haven’t. Thanks.” Wow. Why did he suck so much?
Kagome giggled as she finally jumped ship and sat in the chair beside him and continued to eat her salad as he tried (and very much so failed) to slowly enjoy the food she had brought him. “I’m glad you were hungry. I honestly should have just texted you, but I was hoping I could surprise you!”
“Why would you want to do that?” Inuyasha questioned, swallowing his food so he didn’t speak with his mouth open.
“You seemed down yesterday and I wanted to cheer you up!” Professional. Professional. Keep business and pleasure separate. Moving. Yes. He was moving back to Japan in less than thirty days. There was an end mark on the time they would share together… even if she wanted to be friends.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”
“Inuyasha…” Kagome said softly as she turned in her chair, so that her white-colored jean-covered legs were pointed directly at him, her beautiful aquamarine button-down making her eyes shine brighter and, if possible, more like the ocean. “There’s something wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he quickly denied.
“Why won’t you talk about it??” He could tell she was losing her patience with how her eyebrows began to furrow and the way that her soft dainty hands were clenched on the table. But he couldn’t fucking tell her “Because I love you but you’re living with Hojo and obviously in love that much to take that big-ass step and I have to move back to Japan and risk you not taking your dream job here in London to teach foreign languages.”
Yeah. No. He couldn’t do that to her. The hanyou could claim many things, but he refused to not give Kagome a choice. Which was fuckin’ laughable that he considered himself a choice; she was with Hojo. End of story. End of dream.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he tried to say with less force. The last thing he wanted was to piss Kagome off. Her temper rivaled a bull demon.
When he had first come to London and begrudgingly asked for help, Inuyasha had thought that if he sat his way through the lessons, he would learn. But then he met Kagome fucking Higurashi. She refused to allow him to do nothing--refused to give up on him--refused to let herself fail him. So--the little minx would bait him into an argument.
That was how Inuyasha learned Kagome held no fear, resentment, or even disgust towards his heritage. The young college student herself was very open-minded and was a force to reckon with, as well as someone who wouldn’t give up on him.
It was also how Inuyasha learned that he didn’t have to hide who he was under false pretenses. He didn’t have to be an animal who just listened to his instincts like he did with Yura. He didn’t have to hide them and be a total push-over, like he had been with Kikyo. The hanyou could truly be himself with Kagome…
Somehow she lured him out of his shell, even accidentally. Yeah, she did it occasionally by egging him on and would grin when he would admit something he normally wouldn’t have. There’d been dinners on campus, drinks at bars--
Then he learned she lived with Hojo, and Inuyasha couldn’t help but feel lost and heartbroken over having a connection he had so desperately longed for ripped from him. But being friends with Kagome? It was better than nothing at all. And that was alright. He could accept that.
“Is it… do you not want to continue our sessions anymore?” Kagome questioned, stirring him from his thoughts of the girl. Gods no, that’s not what he wanted. Far from it. Fuck. She was breaking his heart the way her eyes saddened. The way she looked so shut out and disparaged--his inner youkai was howling to comfort her, hold her, and kiss the fuck outta her.
His demonic half was a dick. But he could at least agree that he needed to comfort Kagome. Reaching for and grasping her hand, he groaned in defeat, “I just don’t… Going home is a big step for me. I was running away and I still don’t know what I really want. I don’t want our sessions to end.” Ever. But he wouldn’t admit that. Inuyasha had given her more than what he typically gave others. Including Kikyo and Kagura, his makeshift match-maker team. Why was his life so fuckin’ weird?
“Ok. Good. Then we won’t, ok? I told you yesterday, and I was serious… I want you in my life, even when you do go back home.” Kagome flushed and looked down at their hands, which were still grasping each other like a fuckin’ lifeline. It was like they were out to sea, and they only had each other to hold on to--only each other to cling to for life…
But Kagome had Hojo.
Inuyasha was the one who needed her.
“Yeah. I know. I want that too.” More than fuckin’ anything in the world.
“So… would you be opposed to keeping our regular times for our ‘lessons’ then?” Kagome asked, using the quotation marks on the word lesson since they weren’t really actually doing anything but talking in English at that point. What was the purpose, really? He had already been confirmed for graduation. When he began at the university he was lost, but with Kagome, he was able to pick up and learn quickly because she was such an amazing teacher.
“Yea. That’s fine.”
“Great! Alright. So, tell me how your day was and I’ll tell you about mine.”
“You first--I’m starving,” he smirked, looking at his cheeseburger, then back at her open and cheerful face.
“Alright, so, first of all--I got here this morning and three of my students cancelled.”
“Tough break.”
“Tough isn’t even half of it! Hojo and I drank way too much at dinner and I nearly overslept my alarm! And!! To top allllll of that off, the jerk ate the last protein bar! I didn’t have enough time to make a shake, so I was running on empty by the time I got here, and then three no-shows in a row??? UGH!”
“Did you at least make him bring you a smoothie or something?” Inuyasha was genuinely curious. He found himself inwardly grinning that Hojo wasn’t the best boyfriend/ spouse/ whatever he was since he hadn’t taken the time to make sure that Kagome would have an easy morning filled with love and warmth--not loneliness and hunger.
“Haha, no. He texted me ‘too bad, so sad;’ he’s such a jerk sometimes,” she laughed, as if it was good humor. Only it wasn’t. What did Kagome see in Hojo? They’d been living together when Inuyasha had started to really get to know Kagome and had immediately pulled back from his advances. If he could even really call them that. More like pitiful attempts at flirting.
Not that she knew, anyway; if Kagome had realized, she would have turned him down. Clearly. Hojo was her man. Not Inuyasha.
“Yeah, sounds, uh, yeah. Not good.”
“Oh, well. He’s on dish duty tonight, anyway. I may even make him vacuum and mop. We’ll see how evil I want to be since he took the last bar without replacing it.” Kagome continued to muse about her day and Inuyasha just felt himself slipping further and further into his hole.
Maybe it was a good thing he was going back to Japan. He could finally get some needed distance from Kagome. Even just hearing how she had brought someone else out of their shell, and how her smile sparkled and how her eyes lit up like sapphires themselves, made his heart soar for her. Honestly, he wished he could have just been honest. Telling the truth may have even been easier for the hanyou, too; just lay it all out on the table and let the piece lie where they fall… But Inuyasha didn’t want to make Kagome feel guilty. Because she would. His gorgeous tutor was just that kind of person to where she would shoulder the blame and likely cry from the misunderstanding.
~~~~
Two weeks passed quickly after that. Every night she would somehow sneak in dinner and each night, he’d ask about Hojo, only for her to wave off Inuyasha’s questions regarding her flatmate. Kagome would talk about her day and pester him about his.
The fourteen days flew by so that before he knew it, they were at their last real session. Graduation took place eight days after. He was graduating. Inuyasha was finally fucking graduating.
“So… are you happy to be done?” Kagome asked, her voice thick with hesitation and nervousness. Why the fuck was she nervous? His beautiful tutor was never nervous. Kagome was always bubbly and happy, willing to work, pushing others to do so, but nervous??
“I guess. I’m not thrilled about going back to Japan to work for my asshole brother.”
“Oh! You finally are learning your curse words!” Kagome laughed before shooting him a look of sympathy. Taking his hand in hers, she brushed her thumb across his knuckle and he nearly moaned from how good it felt for their hands to be within each other.
Not that it was uncommon. Inuyasha assumed it was some English custom he must’ve missed because Kagome always found a way to touch him. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to do that to her. No. The hanyou savored every light brush of skin, every light touch she would give him. It had to last him a lifetime.
“Whatever.”
“Does Sesshomaru know English?”
“Unfortunately. The bastard has been around longer than the dirt we walk on.”
“So very versatile… Well, that’s unfortunate. I was going to suggest calling him names behind his back.”
“Tried. Failed. Not like it really bothers the jackass, anyway.”
“Does it make you feel better?”
“Kind of.”
“You don’t really talk about your brother very much… You just insult him and you seem uncomfortable about it--why is that?”
“It’s a… long story.”
“If… you don’t want to share, you don’t have to. I just feel like even though we’ve known each other for so long, I still don’t know too much about your home life. I only know your mother and father died and Sesshomaru took you in…”
“That’s more than most people get,” he explained, his ears dipping into his silver thick mane. “Most just have to assume what is going on.”
“I see. I’m sorry. It must be hard to talk about,” she reasoned, pulling her hand back before he tightened his hold. Talking about his past… it was unheard of. It was uncomfortable because Inuyasha had shoved everything down so that he never had to think about it. That was why he was an asshole. A harsh, distant, asshole.
The abrasive attitude he fronted was for anyone who would try to hurt him. Strike first, show dominance, that way you couldn’t be taken by surprise and be vulnerable. But like always, Kagome always seemed to see through that. It was as annoying as it was endearing to have someone know him so well…
“He took me in but--only because our father put it in the will. Sesshomaru couldn’t stand me. I don’t know if he does or if he is just indifferent.”
“Didn’t he help you get here?”
“Probably didn’t want me to be around.”
“But he is also giving you a position within his company, right?”
“It’s our dad’s company.”
“But--”
“But, but, but; you sound like you’re trying to stand up for him,” Inuyasha glared, trying to take his hand back when he had been the one to hang on originally. Kagome held tight, though, and returned the narrowed gaze. Stubborn girl.
“Anyway,” she said darkly before letting her face lighten up a little bit, showing the comfort she was trying to pass on to him, “would he really do that if he didn’t want you? Wouldn’t he have tried to write you out of the will? Gotten lawyers involved?”
Inuyasha blinked because he never really thought how Sesshomaru had literally just taken him in. Yeah, the dick was insanely hard on Inuyasha but…
“Maybe he was tough on you because he wanted you to succeed. Now, that’s no excuse for being so cold and uncaring--since that’s what it sounds like happened--but I think he just didn’t know how to handle becoming a guardian overnight, either…”
...Kagome may have been right. Maybe he owed it to the jackass to hear him out…
“Thanks.”
“Anything. Inuyasha, I mean it,” Kagome whispered as she leaned closely up to him, looking into his eyes for something, making him slightly flush from the intense gaze and the proximity, “anything…”
Averting his face before he did something stupid (one of those things being kissing her beautiful blush pink lips, and the other would be crying from her sincerity). He swallowed thickly and nodded shakily. Her chair shifted, and he stiffened when he felt her head drop to his shoulder and her body press close to his.
“You still promise we’ll be friends, right? That we’ll keep in contact?”
“Y-Yeah… You have my number.”
“And you have mine… So… Please don’t--” she trembled, dropping her head so Inuyasha couldn’t see her tears, but he could still smell them as they formed in her perfect jewel-like eyes. Before he could stop himself, he pressed his nose into her hair and kissed the back of it.
“Inuyasha…”
“I know. I’ll miss you too, Kagome.”
They sat there, crying--her over losing a friend, and him over losing the woman he loved because he was a goddamn coward.
~~~~
“You’re a moron,” Kagura moaned into the phone.
“Pretty sure I didn’t answer the phone to talk to you, bitch.”
“No, but I do have to agree with my partner, Inuyasha--that line of thinking is going to be the cause of why you are alone and miserable.”
“Wow. I’m hangin’ up now,'' Inuyasha scoffed.
“Wait!” Kikyo pleaded. Inuyasha paused, as did she, until she realized he was still on the phone. “Tell us again why you won’t be honest with her.”
“Because I don’t want her pity that I mistook her kindness--”
“Look puppy , she wouldn’t be that nice if she wasn’t interested or that upset--” Kagura shot in, trying to interrupt him.
“--for something more than what it was,” Inuyasha finished tiredly.
Kikyo sighed into the phone. “When are you due back? Do you have your flight information?”
“Why do you care?”
“Inuyasha,” Kikyo said warningly.
“Seriously. Why?”
“We would like to see you, if that is alright. It’s been quite some time.”
“We ain’t together.” Hadn’t been in a long time.
“We are still friends, Inuyasha, are we not? We agreed we were not well-suited for each other.”
Inuyasha groaned and rolled his eyes and ultimately agreed. “Whatever.”
“That’s more like it!” Kagura cheered.
“Friends care about each other. Besides, you must still somewhat care, even if you deny it--you do answer our calls,” Kikyo added.
“Whatever. My flight leaves here at 8:50 in the morning on Tuesday.”
“So you’ll get here,” Kikyo paused, clearly trying to do the math, “at 4:50 in the morning on Wednesday.”
“Good job. Glad you can do math.”
“I will ignore the sarcasm; do you have a ride home from the airport? I imagine Sesshomaru has already gotten your apartment ready for you?”
“He’s the one who picked the flight, so probably.”
“Is he picking you up?”
“You ask a lot of questions.”
“Can you just answer if you need a ride or not, puppy?? Gods! Pullin’ teeth with you,'' Kagura groaned in exasperation. Inuyasha smirked. At least she was just as miserable as he was talking to her as she was speaking to him.
“The toad is probably gonna grab me,” Inuyasha replied.
“If he doesn’t, please let us know. Would you be interested in dinner that evening?”
“Depends on how much sleep I get on the plane.”
“Well, let us know, pup!” Kagura chimed in.
“STOP CALLIN’ ME THAT, ASSHOLE!” Inuyasha growled.
“Both of you… please…” Kikyo sighed in exhaustion. “Text us when you land. And Inuyasha?”
“What now?” he barked.
“Do yourself and the world a favor and just tell Kagome how you feel.”
“Kikyo--”
“Take care.” And the line clicked off. Jesus fuck. Couldn’t he ever get a word in edgewise? Gazing around his packed-up place, he realized he only had one suitcase and one carry-on. His bed and other things had already been set to be used by the next student who would take over the room. He lived lightly. What was the point of accumulating stuff when the hanyou had no one to share it with? The most precious items he had were his dead mother’s wedding ring, and a picture of the two of them when he was small…
Izayoi Taisho. She was holding him in the picture, letting his red tee-shirt be on full display with his bluejeans. He had been so happy back then--carefree and unaware of the world’s hatred of his kind and prejudice. His mother was smiling softly into the camera; her face showed love, overflowing from the picture itself such that Inuyasha could literally just feel his mother’s spirit around him when he would look at it.
Fuck. He missed her. Inuyasha wished he could speak with her and ask what she thought about Kagome… He knew Kikyo and Kagura were likely right, deep, deep down… But the hanyou was unable to voice that. The idea of being vulnerable again?
It was too much. And so, Inuyasha would lock away the truth, along with his mother’s picture, for another day to look at once he was half-way across the globe from Kagome. Just another three days, and then, he could finally put this chapter to rest and move on with his stupid, meaningless life.
~~~~
Inuyasha pulled out his phone and was about to hit the pay button for his Uber to the airport when a car horn beeped repeatedly as it pulled down the street. The fuck…?
The car stopped in front of him and the driver-side front door shot open. Inuyasha’s eyes widened, seeing the last person he had expected to see. Kagome was breathless and swallowing hard as she slammed her car door shut and stalked over to him. The hanyou found it hard to breathe as the young tutor stomped up to him, glaring at him, wearing her brown riding boots, a pair of black leggings, a thick navy sweater, and a full white blanket scarf around her neck, swinging her finger into his face.
“How could you??!!”
“Huh?” How could he what?? What was she talking about?
“You weren’t going to say goodbye! You were just going to leave!!?”
“I said goodbye!!” he barked back, annoyed that she’d accuse him of something so juvenile.
“Yeah! Last day of our sessions!!! That was two weeks ago!! I haven’t heard anything from you since!! I called Kikyo--”
“You called WHO?!?!”
“And she was the one who gave me your flight information!!”
“How the fuck do you have her number?!”
“She sent me an email asking me if you had a ride to the airport!!”
“Goddammit! Look, I said goodbye; we have each other’s numbers, we--” Inuyasha paused, deflated in his annoyance, while his anger diminished as he saw tears pooling in his favorite set of blue eyes. “Kagome--”
“I--I thought we were closer than that--” she hiccupped. Clearly the anger floodgates were open, and now she was hurt and upset. And he was a dick. A dumbass. Fuck. “Was--Was I wrong??”
“N-No… Kagome, I’m sorry,” Inuyasha apologized as his hand found its way to her arm to try and comfort her the way she had comforted him previously. What he hadn’t expected was for her to launch herself into his chest and sob. Ok. He was a total asshole. Shit. “Kagome--don’t cry--”
“I’m going to miss you and you weren’t even going to say goodbye!”
“I--I thought the one we shared was enough?”
“Gods, you are so dense! No! It wasn’t! I figured you’d actually tell me when you were leaving so we could--we could--” His free arm came up against her low back and he pressed his nose into her hair. Lavender and honey. Fuck. He was going to miss her. So much.
This was why he hadn’t called her.
This was why he didn’t want her to come back.
Inuyasha was a strong hanyou. The blood from his father always guided him through danger and distress. But with Kagome? He was weak. All he wanted to was to hold her--more intimately than this. Inuyasha longed to have her in his arms all night long, kiss her soft plush pink lips, love her until the end of time.
But she had fucking Hojo and a job here.
Fuck. There was a goddamn figurative dagger in his heart that almost felt tangible. Why did she have to be taken? Why was he honorable?
To be honest, maybe he wasn’t being all that honorable… Inuyasha was just being a fuckin’ fool who scared to jump and be rejected.
“Will you,” he paused to clear his throat, “take me to the airport then?”
“C-Course I will, idiot,” she stuttered, still shaking within his arms, her face pressed tightly into his chest as if the idea of him leaving would break her. To be frank, it was gonna kill him too. But she had Hojo to help her recover. And she would be ok. That was enough for Inuyasha. It had to be. Kagome’s happiness was his number one priority.
“Maybe I should drive,” he chuckled, his voice thick with emotion he was trying to keep masked.
“Y-Yeah, good idea. You drive stick right?”
“Duh. Japanese cars are only manual. Come on, I’ll get my shit loaded.” Inuyasha tried to brush off her emotional state to human frailness and weakness. Because he had to ignore the other reasons that were possibly bubbling beneath the surface. The sheer idea of Kagome loving him? It was laughable. Her--so happy, bubbly, gorgeous, and smart-- in love with a hanyou? Inuyasha was never good at reading people. Fuck. His yeah record with women proved that. Any overthinking or deeper thoughts would just get him in trouble.
After the car was loaded, he got into her car and adjusted the seat because Jesus Christ! Kagome was short! She let out a watery giggle and he shot her an apologetic smile as he couldn’t take her hand like she probably wanted. One hand had to be at the wheel, while the other had to be on shift.
They rode in silence, the inevitable looming over them. His departure. Once they were on the highway, Inuyasha felt her hand brush against his own and he allowed their hands to clasp by the gear changer until they finally pulled up to the departure drop-off.
Inuyasha got out of the car first; he opened her back door, and grabbed his singular suitcase and his backpack. The moment he latched the handle closed, Kagome was in front of him. Her eyes were damp, her face blotchy, and he nearly broke down and just confessed to her his crime of loving her even though she was living with someone.
How he longed to be with her.
How he’d tell his brother to fuck himself or how he could just take care of her until she found a job back in Japan.
How even like this, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and all he wanted to do was kiss her and never let go.
His hands acted without his brain and cupped her face; his thumbs brushed away the tears that trailed down her cheeks and he pulled her into another embrace. This one was tighter. This one he hoped told her how much he cared for her and how much she meant to him, since he was a fucking coward and couldn’t voice it.
It was far too late, anyway.
“I’m going to miss you,” she mumbled into his damp red sweater.
“Me too… But we can--we can still text--as long as Hojo’s ok with it.” There. He was a gentleman. Being far more respectful than he honestly thought he could be.
“He won’t care. Hojo liked you.” Course the fruit-loop did. Because Inuyasha didn’t challenge his claim. Duh.
“I gotta--”
“I know--but I--I can’t let you go--” she said brokenly.
“I’ll--I’ll come back and visit. Didn’t you say your friends were having a wedding? You’ll be over my way before you know it…” Inuyasha tried to placate. Kagome nodded fervently into his sweater before lifting her face. Her face contorted with indecisiveness before she rose up on her toes, and kissed his cheek softly. If Inuyasha were a brave man, he would have turned his face to catch her lips.
If Inuyasha were a man at all, he would have just told her he was in love with her and begged her to come with him back to Japan.
“Call me when you land then? And you better text me. Or I’m coming back sooner!!” Kagome yelled.
Inuyasha chuckled and nodded, stepping away from her. They gazed at each other, Inuyasha longingly, and there was an emotion he dared not name within Kagome’s eyes as he broke eye contact first and picked up his bag, Turning his back on Kagome, he walked into the airport and refused to turn back, even though the scent of Kagome’s tears, the sounds of her light sobs, filled the air.