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No, this cannot be right. It is impossible.
He saw Thanos kill him and the ship that had exploded leaving not even a single strand of hair behind. There had been no illusion, no trick. He remembers the way he broke down when Tony had told him they could only bring back those who had been snapped and not those before, begging, pleading for another way, anything so that he could hug his brother one final time. Five years Thor spent his days wallowing away, and yet the wound is still fresh.
He remembers how as the dust settled amongst the rubble he waited. Waited for a miracle Thor knew was never happening. Thor doesn’t know how long he stood waiting with bated breath, hoping that the wizard’s portals had simply been late, that any second now Loki and Heimdall will appear before him breathing, hearts beating. It’s only when Bruce had clutched his shoulder gently, eyes shimmering with understanding, that Thor accepted the truth.
“I get it, you know,” Quill had said as the two sat in the cockpit. After a rather grueling battle of rock-paper-lasers, Thor allowed Quill to pilot the ship as captain. At least for the day. The rest of the Guardians were asleep in their respective seats, Rocket cuddling with one of his many guns, Mantis’s head leaning against Drax’s thigh as he snores loudly, Groot’s gameboy beeping loudly while he dozes, leaving only them two awake. “For me, it feels like yesterday that Gamora-” he cuts off shortly. “But there’s gotta be a way for us to bring them back. I just know it.”
And if this had been five years ago, Thor would have agreed without a doubt in his mind. There were powers in this universe not even Thanos knew of. He'd believe that if he searched hard enough then he’d eventually find the answer- that perhaps a miracle had occurred. But he is not the young, hopeful fool he had been then. He has had time to mourn, to grieve, to accept what was. At least that's what he tells himself.
Perhaps it is just one of this universe’s many coincidences. It was not the first time Thor has seen someone with his brother’s likeness. He also knows that Loki would never visit some dingy service station. Standards and all that. There is also the possibility that the eye Rocket gave him is malfunctioning again. Yes, that would be the logical conclusion. If they were not in such a crowded space, and trying to avoid attention, he would’ve removed the eye to avoid further headaches.
He watches as this Loki look-alike grins at something his silver-haired companion says, mismatched eyes curling at the corners mirroring his smile, and tips back his head.
And Thor hears a sound he hasn’t heard in centuries.
He hears Loki’s laugh.
Not one of his mischievous laughs or out of malice, no, a real, genuine laugh. One born of joy and mirth. One that has not been heard ever since the divide between them as brothers had been placed. Even though the raucous chatter and mediocre music, Thor’s ears catch the rare sound.
(“I can’t believe you fell for that!” Loki wheezes. The boy leans his back against the tree for balance as his skinny arms wrap around his stomach. Thor grunts from where he sits in the fountain, glaring past drenched blonde locks toward his cackling brother. Yet despite his annoyance, he can’t help the fond smile that stretches across his face. Loki’s laughter has always been his one weakness. For someone so good at concealing their emotions, his laugh was the window to his soul, vulnerable and honest. He wipes a tear from his eye.)
The laugh is in his eyes, in the way his face changes into that of relaxed joy and unrestrained mirth. Loki looks so alive at that moment under the neon fluorescent lights. A glimpse into a far-forgotten past when he had been blind to the cruelties of the universe. Before he had been burdened with a glorious purpose that would only lead to his own suffering and death all so that Thor could live. In a time when he had simply just been Loki, free and untethered.
The smile he offers his partner is much softer than his usual performative ones, close-lipped, dimples showing. His features relax a bit and he looks down and away from whomever he’s talking to, almost as if he were still adjusting to expressing such raw, visible emotions. It’s such a rare sight that Thor only recalls ever seeing once. A time where everything had settled down around them, the battle left behind them, and they were to see what laid in the future for them together, side by side. A time in which Loki had let his guard down around Thor and let his emotions shine.
("Where to next, brother?")
Maybe that is what has Thor realizing something about Loki is different.
They may have had their differences, but if anyone knew Loki then it was Thor. It’s the small things that tip him off such as the way Loki holds himself, relaxed against the bar rather than trying to look superior to the ones around him, how the lines of stress that have developed over the years are no longer there, and most importantly, the missing scar from when Thor pushed Loki out of the alien spaceship on their escape from Asgard.
For some reason, he is reminded of Bruce’s briefing before they time traveled.
(“And remember that the ones we see in this timeline aren’t the same ones we know. We may be visiting somewhere familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be the same.”)
Time travel. Out of everything Thor has witnessed, that was one of the few he still could not wrap his head around entirety. He’s glad Tony and Bruce had been there to figure it out for him. He recalls his mother and the way she smiled at him, the golden light pouring over her shoulders, small hands holding his just as she did when he was a child.
Thor knows, then, that this is not his Loki. It is Loki, yes, but not the same one he fought side by side against their sister in an attempt to save their home. Vaguely, he recalls Scott explaining how they botched their grab on the space stone and allowed the Loki of that timeline to escape. Yes, if anyone were to break the rules of the universe and prevail, it would be his brother.
His hands twitch at his sides.
It is taking every ounce of self-restraint not to rush over there and pull his brother into a crushing hug. He could vividly imagine Loki’s reaction of pure bafflement as Thor lifts him off the ground in the tightest hug possible and spins. He’d be grinning and laughing and crying all the same whilst twirling them around because; “you’re alive, brother! You’re alive!”
How he would commit this all to memory because the last time he held his brother had been when he was painfully dying, unable to utter a single word or move, succumbing to the confines of space because death would be mercy rather than living after witnessing his entire world crash and burn around him. Thor would introduce Loki to his new friends, and in exchange be introduced to his, feeling that flutter of warmth in his chest that had died so, so long ago.
(“But at the end of the day you’re you, and I’m me. And, I don’t know, maybe there is still good in you. But let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.”)
Loki may have changed his mind about staying on Sakaar, but Thor fears if this Loki follows him once more his fate will end the same. Perhaps it is better this way. Two strangers on different paths that may never converge.
They will always be brothers, yet no matter how much they try there will always be animosity between them, a feud, lingering anger or grudge from the past. Thor watches how Loki interacts with the man wondering if this could have been his Loki’s outcome if not for him.
An elbow jabs into his back.
“Hey, we’re just about finished here,” Quill says and Thor wonders just how long he’s been spacing out for. “Come on, let's get back to the ship before people realize who we are. We’re not exactly...welcomed in this region.”
“This time it wasn’t my fault.” Rocket chimes, passing by the two flanked by Groot.
Thor looks past the sea of heads toward the bar. Just a few steps is all it would take to close the distance. It was never heard to garner Loki’s attention. He’d willingly accept a knife in the back if it just meant hearing Loki say his name again. He’s sure the Guardians would understand after having lost each other time and time again. Quill is watching him and Thor wonders what he’d do in his place.
He feels Mantis grab his hand in both her petite ones as she would when he’d awake screaming, the phantom pain of drifting in space sucking the air straight out of his lungs, the tears that stung in his eyes. Her eyes are full of understanding, antennas glowing gently, and Thor is glad to have a friend by his side in a time like this. He’s glad to have all of them.
Maybe it’s time he moves on.
“I’m ready.”