Archive of Our Own

By the time the entire ordeal is over, Magnus is completely drained. Not so much magically but emotionally. It really fucking sucks having to argue his own people who are trying to suspend him from office just because he's dating a shadowhunter. Hypocritical much? If the Clave dared do such a thing to a shadowhunter who was dating a downworlder everybody would be all outraged, but suddenly when the shoe is on the other foot it's apparently different.

Right.

The most frustrating aspect of it is that there isn't even a real reason. There is no evidence that Magnus has been neglecting his duties, neither explicitly nor implicitly, or that he has betrayed his people to the shadowhunters in any sense. They have no actual grounds for complaint. The only reason it even made it this far, with Magnus having to come before the Spiral Labyrinth to defend himself, is because some jealous asshat spent months, literal months manipulating people into thinking they felt like Magnus was betraying them. And it worked.

He's got to give it to Lorenzo, that took a lot of dedication and energy. Much hard work and planning went into this, and ultimately, he was as successful as it was possible - he achieved it that Magnus had to go and publicly explain himself and defend himself. That was the best he could have gotten; it's not like they'd just take his title away and hand it to somebody else without so much as a by-your-leave.

Unfortunately for Lorenzo, Magnus is not someone to take such bullshit lying down. Also unfortunately for him, despite a complete lack of preparation, Magnus is really good at reacting in the moment and was able to muster a well-built, completely truthful, evidence-based and well-reasoned defense pretty much on the fly. The last nail in the coffin was probably the fact that, apparently to Lorenzo's complete surprise, Magnus is very familiar with the laws, rules, and regulations.

It took three days of advocating for himself pretty much non-stop, but ultimately, Magnus managed to keep his title.

What he did not get is any apologies. And once he's had some time to process and recover, he is definitely going to do something about the whole thing, because it is just unacceptable from start to finish. Magnus is furious, and he's going to make sure nobody else gets any bright ideas to try something like this again. And he's going to do it by throwing the rulebook at them with a bland smile and calm demeanor, because nothing is as intimidating as an enemy who isn't even angry.

But that's for later. Right now... right now all Magnus wants is to curl up and hide his face in his boyfriend's chest, let Alec hold him and hold him together for a bit. For three days he had to defend himself with no warning, against his own people. The betrayal of it all hurts more than anything else, and Magnus just needs to... not have to be strong anymore.

Unfortunately, by the time it's all over and Magnus can return home, it's only the middle of the afternoon in New York. Alec is at the Institute and won't be home for hours yet. Magnus gets it - they're both leaders, they're needed; they've both had to interrupt, leave early, or even completely miss time with each other because of their duties. Alec can't just skip out on work because his boyfriend needs a hug, and that's just how it is. Magnus understands, and he doesn't resent it.

Doesn't mean he doesn't shed a little tear when he steps out of the portal into his home and finds himself all alone, loft practically echoing hollow with the emptiness.

Magnus pauses and takes a moment to breathe. Inhale, exhale; process. He's home, he's safe.

Eyes falling shut, he briefly touches the wards, making sure they're stable - they are - and then tweaks them a little to make sure nobody will be able to so much as make it to his door to knock. He just doesn't want to even have to bother ignoring visitors; he just wants complete peace, a safe space. The only person that will be able to get in will be Alec. Literally anybody else is tough out of luck. If anybody has a fucking emergency, they can just fucking suck it. (...no, they can't. If Magnus were to get a fire message about an emergency right now, he would go and take care of it, because that's his job, the job he just spent three days fighting tooth and nail to keep.)

Not bothering to repress any subsequent tears, Magnus steps out of his shoes and then starts to walk towards the bedroom, shedding clothes and jewelry as he goes, uncaring where any rings roll off to. He dressed to kill for this whole ordeal, all cold silver and looming dark blues, his eyeliner is razor sharp and the edges of his face glitter like diamonds, all of it waterproof. He could walk through a typhoon and emerge looking impeccable.

It made him feel confident and dangerous, but now his armor feels like ropes, a prison. So he sheds it while beelining for the shower, steps into the cubicle and immediately tilts his face into the hot stream of water, blindly reaching for the specific wash he uses to get rid of his waterproof make-up. The next twenty minutes are spent scrubbing his face, then his body, then his hair (all with different soaps of course, he's not a heathen), twice. It's only when he massages the conditioner into his hair that he finally starts to feel like himself again, safe and free. Only the beginning of it, though - it'll be a while yet before he's not so out of sorts anymore.

A further fifteen minutes, most of which he spent just standing under the hot stream of water and breathing, he steps out of the shower, reaching for a towel only to stop short.

There's a note stuck to the glass wall of the shower, red and impossible to overlook. Except of course Magnus did overlook it until this moment. At least it's taped on from the outside, so it didn't get wet.

Brows furrowing - red is an emergency color, but Alec would hardly leave him a note about an emergency here in the bathroom, would he? - Magnus wraps the towel around himself and reaches for the note.

A few more shed tears and one full-body moisturizing routine later, Magnus does as he was told by his perfect boyfriend and checks the bed. On it, he finds a pair of his favorite lace panties, his softest most comfortable sweatpants, and one of Alec's sleep t-shirts that has been washed so often it's buttery soft, Alec's scent practically permanently ingrained. There is also an envelope.

Teeth digging into his lower lip, Magnus opens the envelope to pull out a note and... two smaller envelopes with numbers on them? The note reads:

Magnus hesitates for a moment, then decides to think about it while he dresses. He is exhausted, definitely, but not the bone-deep, dead-tired sort of exhausted. On the other hand, he absolutely isn't up for any shenanigans either.

...but Alec would know that, he realizes as he slips the shirt over his head and pauses to inhale the scent of fresh laundry and Alec.

No, there is no way his boyfriend would have him do anything challenging right now, even if it only involved choosing an outfit. This is Alec, doing the best he can to take care of Magnus even when he can't be physically there, and Magnus kind of wants to cry but in a good way.

He has trust. And so he opens the envelope with the "2" on it. The note inside reads:

In the kitchen, Magnus indeed finds his favorite comfort food, a warm salad arranged with all his favorite ingredients: crispy fried tempeh, soft-boiled eggs, beansprouts, steamed spinach and broccoli, sliced fresh cucumber, boiled potato, prawn crackers on the side, and homemade peanut sauce. It's all set up on the breakfast bar, along with a laptop that's sleeping with a note taped to it that reads "remember to eat slow :)". On the fridge is a little arrow pointing towards the handle of the fridge door, and when Magnus opens it he finds the promised sodas as well as the hot chocolate (protected by a temperature reversing spell, so it actually is hot still), and also a bowl of cut fruit, also preserved fresh by a spell. Alec truly thought of everything, and he enlisted Catarina to help. He really has the best boyfriend in the world, and the best friends.

After he's picked a drink (hibiscus soda, he doesn't think the caffeine in the cola would be the wisest choice right now; the hot chocolate is for dessert) and sat down, he wakes up the laptop to find it set up with an episode of a British renovation show where regular people buy old houses that are in danger of being condemned and then renovate them in order to preserve them. It's lovely and low-key and Magnus is probably going to cry, but it won't be the bad kind of tears. He just gets kind of emotional about how much those people love these broken, destroyed buildings and lovingly restore them to a new glory, is all.

There's also another note, but it's folded up and reads "only when you're finished!" so Magnus leaves it for now.

When he's eaten, dessert included, Magnus drinks the last bit of the hot chocolate and opens the note.

Sniffling a little, Magnus briefly considers turning on his phone again to send his boyfriend a message, but he switched it off for a reason and he told Alec he would be doing that, too. Alec doesn't expect to hear from him. More importantly, he might very well not even be happy if he does, because he knows Magnus needs to be off the grid right now. Alec doesn't like it when Magnus compromises his needs for what he thinks might be Alec's wants any more than Magnus likes it when Alec does it.

So Magnus decides to leave it for now. He can always reconsider later, after he's had a nap. Though why Alec would suggest-

Right in the doorway to the guest room, Magnus freezes completely. It takes him several seconds to understand what he's seeing, and then a couple more to process it.

A nest. Alec built him a nest.

"Oh," Magnus breathes, wet and wobbly as fireworks explode in his chest. Absently pressing one hand to his sternum, right above his heart, Magnus enters the room, walking on tiptoes like one rough step might bring the entire structure down. It won't, though, because Alec's nests are amazing.

For the longest time, Magnus didn't know it, just how good Alec is at nest building. They've been together for a little over seven months now, and they've shared a non-heat nest several times in that time frame, but since this is his home it was always Magnus who built it. Other than that, they've shared two heats together between the two of them - they didn't share Magnus' first since it was just three weeks after they made it official, nor Alec's first in their second month together. But they did spend their respective second heats together. For Magnus' heat he naturally built the nest, and Alec obviously built his own for his own heat. Which means that it was only last month that Magnus learned just how good Alec is at building nests.

And by the gods, was he missing out.

The thing is, and Magnus feels kind of bad for thinking it, but because Alec has always worked so hard to suppress his wants and needs as an omega, he figured Alec's nests would probably be more on the utilitarian, functional side than anything. (In fact, he'd been scared Alec might not even build nests at all because he was suppressing himself that much.) Not that Magnus had been bothered by that! The only reason he minded at all is because he hates how unhappy and uncomfortable Alec has been for so long with his own body and his identity both as an omega and as someone who isn't straight.

In any case, due to his own assumptions, he'd been completely shocked last month when Alec built his nest and it was... magnificent.

So Alec is a bit of a perfectionist. That much was not a surprise. However, Magnus failed to take into account how that translates over into areas of his life that are less about excelling at shadowhunter things and more about... well, other things. Such as being a boyfriend. Once he'd committed himself Alec had put in so much effort to, as he put it, do right by Magnus, and his idea of what that means is a lot more elaborate than most people think about, at least in Magnus' experience. Which means Alec put a lot of effort into knowing his own emotions and being honest about them and really just communicating in general, no matter how difficult it was for him. He also put effort into other things, but most of those seemed more instinctive than deliberate and planned, such as getting to know Magnus and remembering things about him, or sex.

And turns out, building nests is also a thing Alec put a lot of effort into perfecting. Though of course he was doing that long before he ever met Magnus, and likely strove to excel at it long before that, too. Point being, Magnus probably should have expected it.

He did not.

Now, Magnus isn't a stranger to good nests. He's been around for hundreds of years, and he's seen his fair share of nests built by other people in that time. And a number of those people were warlocks, meaning they had access to magic, which always makes it very easy to build great nests.

Alec does not have magic. He does have runes, but they only give him a slight advantage - namely, he doesn't need to hammer nails into walls and use stitches on the blankets to attach the ropes to each, because he can attach them with a rune instead. But that's it. That's all the help the angel gives them. (Well, other than soundproofing and that sort of thing, but that's less about nest construction and more about bonus luxuries, in Magnus' opinion.) The rest is completely Alec.

And Alec excels at it. Frankly, Magnus wouldn't be surprised if Alec had studied architecture specifically for this purpose, his construction is that great. Somehow he manages to achieve the perfect balance - a high enough ceiling to not make it feel claustrophobic, but not so wide that it doesn't feel safe and cozy anymore. Enough rope attachment points to create some nice dips and rises in the sheets building the ceiling, but not so many so as to feel crowded or busy. And he always manages to create the perfect cradle-like overall shape, with the sheets forming the walls walls not just abruptly falling down to the floor but with more of a dome-like shape, a gentle concave downward slope a bit like cupped hands. To top it all off, Alec is excellent at layering the ceiling and wall sheets so that it's not all just one dark, heavy, cave-like structure, nor feels too flimsy and unsafe.

The best part, though, is how he puts a long string of fairy lights between the innermost layer of the ceiling and the one on top of it, lights which he somehow manages to arrange in such a way that they are spread out evenly but irregularly, like stars in the night sky. And then on the inside of the ceiling he puts up another string of fairy lights so delicate the wire is all but invisible, the lights so tiny they're scarcely bigger than the tip of a needle, giving the night sky he's creating a more real, three-dimensional feel. And as if that weren't enough already, around the sides of the nest he strings up more fairy lights, but colorful ones, creating a cheerful, festive sort of mood. Except the colors are blues and shades of purple, so it's a gentle sort of chee, uplifting yet relaxing at the same time.

In other words, it's stunning, just absolutely breathtaking. And that's not even taking into account the way Alec constructs the actual nest part, with the layers and layers of blankets and pillows arranged in specific ways, with areas for comfortable sitting and others for comfortable lying. Alec's nests are excellent and Magnus never wants to be in any other nest ever again. (Well, except for his own, which are also great if he does say so himself (and more importantly, Alec says so); sometimes an omega just has to build a nest. It's an instinctual drive. But outside of heats, Magnus doubts he'll build all too many nests anymore; why should he if he can have Alec do it instead?)

Suffice it to say, to find that Alec has built him a nest to come home to... well. There's a whine stuck low in his throat, and Magnus definitely sheds a few tears as he crawls into the nest, and then he cries some more because it smells like them. Alec must have used the sheets and comforter from their bed, and somehow Magnus didn't notice? And he definitely spent at least a few hours in there himself, because his scent is everywhere. Alec might very well have slept in all the blankets and sheets before building the nest. Everything is just soft and gentle and comforting, and if Magnus can't have a hug and cuddle from his boyfriend, this is the very next best thing.

Hugging a pillow (Alec's pillow) to his chest, Magnus curls up in the cupped little space meant exactly for that; the pillows and blankets are arranged in such a way so as to make him feel cradled and safe, and it does. And while Magnus is still settling in he hears a soft swishing sound, and then a questioning "Mrrr?"

"Oh," Magnus breathes and lifts his head. "Chairman?"

A moment later his cat joins him, purring happily as he rubs himself against Magnus' face and chest.

"Ohh, did you miss me?" Magnus coos, rubbing behind the cat's ears. "I missed you too, baby. I could've really used your help, you know, people were being such pooheads and your claws probably would've much improved the situation. You would've helped me, wouldn't you? Everybody was saying real mean things about me, and about Alec, too, you wouldn't have let them do that unpunished, would you? No you wouldn't have, I know. I know you wouldn't have."

He continues cooing at the Chairman for a bit, just nonsense really, but it's kind of relaxing just talking shit and not having to mind things like being fair or explaining context. He can just talk to his cat who has been with him for years, who purrs for him and curls up into his chest, all warm and soft and adoring. Whoever says cats don't have feelings has no idea what they're talking about. Cats are the best.

*

When Magnus wakes up, several hours must have gone by, as evidenced by the much darker light conditions around him. Oh, inside the nest he's all soft and cozy, illuminated by those beautiful fairy lights, but it's clear night has fallen or at least is well on its way. He's still lying curled up on his side, but Chairman Meow is nowhere to be found.

It's fine. While loving, the Chairman is an independent sort of cat - which frankly is for the best, Magnus' schedule can be unpredictable and a too needy cat would suffer. Or, well, would have when he was single - now that he has Alec, not so much anymore, because even if Magnus can't be home much, Alec will be.

...wait. Has Alec accidentally moved in? Magnus didn't ask him and neither did Alec, but... he is here a lot. He has his clothes here and his weapons, he has his own (lockable) desk and working area where he does things like paperwork or weapons maintenance, and he spends pretty much all of his free time here. Occasionally he'll still spend the night at the Institute, but that's not the norm. Especially noteworthy is that when it happens Alec will make sure to mention it, because the assumption is that he will spend the night with Magnus. Actually, it's not even that, it's just... coming home.

Huh. Alec did move in. His scent is everywhere, his things are intermixed with Magnus' - yes, he does have his own separate shelves for his books, but most of his few trinkets are scattered around, and the last time Magnus redecorated it wasn't just him calling all the shots, he and Alec discussed together what might be changed or adjusted.

Well, thinks Magnus, warmth spreading in his chest. He hugs Alec's pillow to his chest and squeezes it tight, buries his face in it to inhale his boyfriend's scent. Well, well.

*

Not too long after that, Alec comes home. Magnus feels it first in the wards - they don't so much ripple (Alec is properly keyed in, meaning the wards are supposed to act like he's Magnus and not react at all to his passing through them) as that they just... it's difficult to describe. In any sense, Magnus can always tell when Alec is home and when he isn't simply by the feel of the ward, and he feels that barely-noticeable change in them. About a minute or so later, he hears the barely there click of the door being shut, and then nothing.

It dawns on him then: Alec is being quiet. He doesn't know if Magnus is asleep, so he's being cautious, not calling out a greeting when coming home.

Lower lip caught between his teeth, Magnus smiles and calls out, "Darling?"

A brief pause, and then he hears the quiet sound of socked feet approaching - and this is Alec purposefully making his steps audible, because it's just ingrained habit for him to make no sound when he walks. "Magnus," Alec says, pausing in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"

Magnus waits for a second, but when it's clear Alec isn't going to approach further he wriggles his way over to the entrance of the nest to poke his head out and beam at his boyfriend. "Loved."

Alec blinks once, cheeks coloring fetchingly. "Ah," he makes. "That's. That's good. He smiles shyly, but does make a point of not averting his gaze. "It's also true. I'm going to have a quick shower, and then I thought I might join you?"

"Yes please," Magnus breathes, a tingle dancing down his spine. From underneath his eyelashes, he peers up at his boyfriend. "No need to bother getting dressed, yes?"

Eyes darkening, Alec stares at him. "If that's what you wish."

Teeth digging into his lower lip, Magnus squirms a little. "I wish for you to come in here, into the nest you tucked me away in, and then I'd like for you to fuck me."

"As you wish," Alec says, voice pleasingly low with just a hint of a growl in it.

Magnus licks his lips. "Hurry, my love. I need you."

From one moment to the next, Alec is gone from the doorway. A second later, he hears the shower come on.

Magnus exhales. This came kind of out of nowhere - five minutes ago he wasn't even thinking about sex, but... it's just, the moment he saw Alec he suddenly just needed him. Needs him to come into the nest he built for Magnus and just... take him. Like Magnus is a treasure to be hoarded, a precious possession jealously kept away from all other people, whose only purpose is to be Alec's.

Not a scenario he'd ever remotely appreciate if it were real, but the fantasy of it... well. Yes.

The shower turns off, making Magnus' heart skip a beat. He immediately retreats back into the nest and uses magic to spread out the sheet Alec keeps folded and tucked away, but ready specifically for this purpose. Spending one's heat in a nest is the most satisfying way to do it, but it can very swiftly turn very uncomfortable and disgusting. And laundry-intensive. Luckily they have both magic and runes to help with that - Alec uses huge, thick sheets that are runed to be absorbent but impermeable that he'll cover everything with and that he'll frequently exchange; Magnus uses magic at regular intervals to spell everything clean. Together, their heats are very comfortable and luxurious.

Regular sex in nests is logistically easier to handle, being not as messy and intensive and long. Nevertheless, Magnus has come to really appreciate Alec's sheets. It's just a different feel to spell themselves clean, remove the sheet and then curl up together to cuddle in their clean, comfy nest.

Thinking of it, he squirms a little in place, then quickly pulls off his shirt.

"Yes," comes a low purr from the entrance of the nest, making Magnus startle. Alec is kneeling there, not quite inside yet, just looking at him. It is very, very clear that he likes what he sees. "Go on," he murmurs when their eyes meet. "Take the rest of it off. Unless you want to keep the panties on."

Magnus considers briefly, then pushes everything down; pants and underwear both. Sometimes he likes to have sex with panties on, but not today.

"Good," Alec rumbles, sending a shiver through Magnus' entire body. Rubbing his thighs together, he sends his boyfriend a pleading look.

But Alec doesn't move yet. "What do you need, Magnus? Tell me."

Magnus licks his lips. "You. I need you to fuck me. Just... I need your cock in me."

Jaw clenched, Alec forces himself to remain in place, heated gaze focused solely on Magnus. "And are you ready for me, baby?"

A little moan escapes Magnus, and it's only then that he notices just how wet he is. "Yes," he breathes, pulls his knees up and lets his legs fall open. Reaching down, he bypasses his hardening cock completely and instead slides his fingertips between his cheeks. He's so slick his fingers just glide automatically to his hole, already relaxing in anticipation.

Staring straight into his boyfriend's eyes, Magnus sinks two fingers right in. A moan slips out as Alec's eyes ignite, and then Magnus' eyes flutter shut as he pushes deeper inside. It's been a couple of days since they've last had sex and he hasn't had too much time to heat up just now, it was more of a zero to sixty type situation, so it's a bit more of a stretch than he's used to. But frankly, he kind of likes that. Oh, he loves being sloppy and loose too, whether it's because he's just that ready or because he's been well-fucked, but there's something about a little pain in the stretch that makes his breath hitch.

"That's it," Alec murmurs. "Look at you, baby. So needy for me, aren't you?"

A whimper escapes Magnus' throat. "Yes," he breathes, squirms a little before opening his eyes just enough to peer at Alec from underneath his eyelashes. "I need you, Alec."

Features like carved from stone, Alec stares at him with burning eyes. He's clearly beyond words right now.

That's fine; Magnus knows what he has to do. Teeth digging into his lower lip he thrusts his fingers in deep, then withdraws to add a third. Again there's a slight pinch and Magnus relishes it - and makes a point of showing that, too. Eyes falling shut again he tilts his head back and moans as his fingers stretch him open. He's practically dripping and it's all he can do not to shift his arm just a little bit to the side so he can push his forearm against his cock, give himself just a little bit more stimulation. But if he does that not only will Alec not be able to see his cock, the different angle will also mean Magnus' hand will obscure the view of what his fingers are doing, and that would be such a shame. He's putting on this show entirely for Alec's benefit, and he knows for a fact that Alec is committing the view to his memory to jerk off to later.

That little reminder has him whimper, spread his knees just a little wider as he arches his back.

There's a sharp exhale from the entrance of the nest, and then Magnus feels that shift in the atmosphere that means someone has entered the nest. Sensing it has nothing to do with being a warlock and everything with being an omega. He knows what's happening in his nest.

It's just usually not supposed to happen when he wasn't the one to build the nest, his senses being so fine-tuned to it, but that's something to think about later. Right now...

Two big hands wrap around his ankles, not pushing or tugging them anywhere, just holding on for a moment. Almost innocuous a touch, if it weren't for one little detail. With how much Magnus has pulled his legs up, that brings Alec's hands very close to Magnus' ass, and the thought alone is enough to make him moan. "Alec," he pants, forcing his eyes open. "Please, please."

"So needy," Alec murmurs again. His eyes flare when he meets Magnus', and then his gaze sharpens. "You better be ready, baby."

It's not a question, except in how it is. They're playing a game, one of the ones they've created over the months; sometimes Magnus needs this, needs for Alec to be dominant and possessive and a little bit rough, treat Magnus like something he owns and is owed. Treasures, absolutely, but also owns, and Magnus doesn't get to have input. (Except of course he does, they have safe words and they talk about everything, but it's part of the fantasy to pretend like they don't.) (Alec has similar fantasies, but they come into play differently - when he's vulnerable anything vaguely rough or mean would be the worst thing that could be done to him, but when he's wired and stressed, roughness is exactly what he needs.)

Magnus loves the games they play. He loves how well they fit together, how they need different things at different times, and Magnus doesn't always have to be the powerful, in-control one, nor does he always have to be the one who submits. Sometimes they don't do any of that, too, they just come together and bring each other pleasure, no games.

But he does so love the games. Loves how familiar they already are with each other, how they can wordlessly understand what the other needs and give it to them. Loves that he didn't need to elaborately explain to Alec what he wants right now, didn't even need to think about it and put it to words in his head, because Alec could read it in him and now he's- now he's-

"Oh," Magnus breathes when Alec wraps his long fingers around his wrist and tugs, pulls his fingers out and then-

A sound very much like a sob escapes Magnus' throat as Alec sucks his fingers into his mouth, tongue sliding over them to lick off his slick. He watches Alec swallow, gaze wavering a little as he gets distracted by Magnus' flavor. Alec loves putting his mouth on him and if Magnus didn't need him so much right now, he'd be tempted to tangle the fingers of his free hand in Alec's hair to drag him down between his legs, demand an orgasm or two before he lets Alec inside.

But, no. Another time. Right now he needs Alec so much he almost can't breathe with it; genuine tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision. "Alec," he whimpers, reaching for him with his free hand.

It's immediately caught, Alec's gaze sharpening as he carefully assesses Magnus' reaction. Pulling Magnus' fingers free with an obscene slurp, he licks his lips, fixates Magnus with his eyes. "You ready, baby?"

Are you okay, is what he's really asking.

"Yes," Magnus breathes. "Yes, yes, yes. Alec please!"

"Shh, shh, baby," Alec soothes, leaning over and pressing Magnus hands down on each side of Magnus' head. "I'll give you what you need." Weight supported with one arm, he reaches down with his other to take ahold of his cock, rubs the blunt tip up and down between Magnus' cheeks, gets himself wet with Magnus' own slick.

Then he goes still and stares down at Magnus, something almost cool in his expression. "I'll make sure you give me what I need." And then he pushes in, not even hesitating for a second, no pause for Magnus to get used to the stretch.

Magnus' mouth drops open but no sound comes out. Distantly he registers the way his back arches, eyes squeezing shut, but his entire attention is preoccupied with the wave of pleasure crashing through him, so intense and thorough he can't even breathe for several seconds, is left shaking in the wake of it.

When he's recovered enough to blink blurry eyes open, the first and only thing he sees is Alec above him, on top of him, in him, staring down at him with wide eyes and parted lips, two red spots high on his cheeks. "Did you just-?" Alec breathes, but the answer must be obvious, because a moment later he squeezes his eyes shut and shudders. "Fuck."

"Yes, please," Magnus purrs, all languid and satisfied now that he's exactly where he wants to be - under Alec, pinned under his weight and full of him. The urgency gone, all he needs now is for Alec to come. "Please give it to me, baby."

A strangled noise wrangles from Alec's throat and then he starts to move, just grinding at first to familiarize them both with the sensation. The stretch and friction against hypersensitive nerves send sparks through Magnus' belly, but he's more focused on Alec, the weight of him pushing Magnus down into the soft cradle of pillows and blankets Alec built for him. The heat warming him up from the inside. There's something bare about just lying there, receptive and passive, something intimate and fragile. Something private and precious - he doesn't have to worry about looking strange, about coming across too passive or weirdly intense, about giving the wrong impression like he'd be okay with being genuinely used.

He isn't - but playing at it is a wholly different subject. And this is Alec, whom Magnus trusts completely - and in whose love he trusts completely. Because Alec adores him, just as much as Magnus adores Alec, and the freedom and security found in that is breathtaking.

Lower lip caught between his teeth, Magnus watches throw lowered eyelashes as Alec clenches his jaw, eyes squeezed shut as he starts to thrust. A bit uncoordinated and stuttering at first, but he soon finds his rhythm and starts rolling his hips smooth and hard, pace not quite fast but something very determined about it. He's getting off, focusing only on himself and the way he likes it because Magnus already got his, and because this is what Magnus asked for, what Magnus needs - to be on the receiving end of Alec's pleasure.

A shiver running down his spine, Magnus squirms a bit and then makes a show of stretching his arms above his head, all lazy satisfaction, maintaining eye contact the entire time. He opens his mouth to say something, but pauses, gaze sharpening as he takes in the expression on Alec's face, the way his teeth dig into his lower lip, how his slightly wide-eyed gaze keeps flicking back and forth between Magnus' face and his arms, still stretched above his head but resting relaxed now.

Oh, Magnus thinks as he realizes what it is Alec is thinking about. What he's wanting.

The game has shifted.

For a brief second Magnus lets one corner of his mouth curl up in a smirk, just long enough for Alec to notice before he settles his face into an expression of slight boredom. "Is this going to take long, darling?" he asks, words a bit cold but tone soft, almost gentle.

Eyes squeezing shut, Alec shudders. Letting all his love for this man show in his expression, Magnus reaches up to cup Alec's face with one hand, rubs his thumb over his cheek. "You needed this, didn't you?" he asks gently. "You need my tight little hole, don't you? Need to come in me, leave me dripping with your seed?"

Alec sobs, thrusts turning erratic, and Magnus goes in for the kill. "Give it to me then, Alexander. Come in me. You know this is where you belong."

Back bowing, Alec almost curls up on himself. Face buried in Magnus' collarbone, his thrusts turn short, more jerks of his hips than anything else as he whines high in his throat, whole body tense.

"That's it," Magnus breathes as heat spurts inside him, sends sparks through his belly. With a pleased sigh, he rubs his hand up and down Alec's back like he's soothing a spooked horse. "Just put it in me. Just like that."

Alec whines and all but collapses, sagging into Magnus with no regard for things like breathing, and Magnus wraps both arms around him and holds him tight.

*

Some time later Alec stirs, dragging Magnus out of the vague doze he'd been drifting off into. "'Kay?" Alec slurs.

"Hm," makes Magnus and wrinkles his nose at the cooling stickiness between them, the damp sheet. A sluggish wave of his hand has them clean and the sheet gone.

With an approving hum, Alec drags some pillows over and starts rearranging them until they can lie comfortably, Alec's hips still cradled between Magnus' legs, but their upper bodies arranged so Magnus isn't getting crushed under Alec's weight and Alec can wrap both arms around Magnus without cutting off anyone's blood flow. When he's finally done - Magnus remained passive and pliant the entire time, by this point used to Alec's abrupt need to make everything perfect - he pulls a blanket up and over them both, tucks Magnus in.

"Lovely," Magnus hums, rubs his cheek against Alec's chest. "This is perfect, my darling."

"Yeah?" Alec sighs and relaxes completely. "Good."

*

It must have been at least an hour, maybe two that have gone by when Magnus next wakes up. Alec is still asleep - it should've been too early, but knowing his boyfriend, Magnus is sure Alec pulled his share of overtime while Magnus was away. Though maybe, with a bit of luck that might mean that he has fewer hours for the next day or two and thus, more time to spend with Magnus. An acceptable trade-off, in Magnus' opinion. He'd still like it best if Alec felt like his own hobbies are just as legitimate a reason not to work overtime as his boyfriend is, but he's not going to expect any miracles right off the bat. Alec is working on it, that's all he asks.

With a content little sigh Magnus stretches his back, grimacing a bit at the slight ache in his legs and hips - yes, he's flexible and can comfortably lie on his stomach while sitting cross-legged, but that doesn't mean remaining in the same position for this length of time is comfortable. He doesn't want to make Alec move, though, so he settles for sending a spark of warming magic down his legs. It won't solve everything, but it will make it not so bad.

Tilting his head back, he peers at Alec's slack face. He always looks adorably puffy when sleeping, it's super cute and awakens all sorts of somewhat weird impulses in Magnus - like the urge to squeeze his face between both hands and coo at him, or to wrap both arms around Alec's head and cradle him to his chest and also coo. Just, a lot of cooing is involved.

So far, Magnus has managed not to do it, but really, it's only a matter of time. And blood-alcohol levels.

Alec's brows furrow; a clear indication that Magnus has been staring adoringly at him for too long. Somehow, Alec can just sense it and will wake up. Sure enough, a moment later Alec's eyes blink open, hazy with sleep. "M'gnus?"

"Here, my love," Magnus sighs, like there could be any doubt - Alec is wrapped pretty much around him.

Lips pursed in an adorable little pout, Alec squints at him. "Okay?"

Magnus immediately nods. "I'm good." Smiling, he cups Alec's face with one hand. "What about you?"

"Always good wh'n I'm with you," Alec slurs, arms wrapped around Magnus tightening their hold for a moment.

Cheeks warm, Magnus ducks his head and presses a smile into Alec's sternum, then garnishes it with a kiss. "Me too."

Alec hums and rocks Magnus a little, then goes still. A moment later he lifts his head, suddenly much more awake. "Are you okay? Shit, I didn't mean to sleep for this long."

Left blinking with the abrupt shift in mood, Magnus peers up at him. "Yes? Why wouldn't I- ohhh."

Untangling his hold on Magnus, Alec has reached down to run his hands down the outsides of Magnus thighs, from hip to knee. "Stretch?" Alec asks, shifting his knees under himself so his weight is no longer all on Magnus' hips.

Resigning himself to the unpleasantness, Magnus adjusts his body so he's lying straight on his back; Alec uses that time to get out of the way. And then Magnus braces himself and just goes for it: stretches first his legs straight out, then an arch of his back, and then a full-body stretch. It aches, yes, and he's probably going to be mildly sore in the hips and thighs, but it's really not that bad.

"I'm fine," he reassures Alec, hovering to the side with a worried frown. "It doesn't even hurt."

"Are you sure? I could give you a massage," Alec offers, careful concern in the soft touch of his hand when he gently cups Magnus' hip.

Magnus pauses. "Well. I mean. Like I'm going to turn down a massage? From my beautiful boyfriend with his gorgeous, strong, big hands no less? Have we met?"

Alec huffs and ducks his head, but there's no hiding the flush of his cheeks or the shy smile playing around his lips. For some reason Magnus' appreciation of his hands always flusters him; it's really very adorable.

Licking his lips, Magnus opens his mouth to make a lewd suggestion, but he never gets to - a low rumble interrupts him. He pauses, then grins up at Alec. "Maybe dinner first, though?"

"I guess," Alec grumbles, one hand on his belly. Then he perks up. "I got lots of antipasti stuff? I thought maybe if you want we could do that."

Ohhh. Magnus adores antipasti - there's just something decadent about having a large spread of two dozen or more foods set out, meant to be eaten in tiny portions. But what he's especially come to appreciate about it is how he can hand-feed Alec. Most of the time he can pacify his nurturing instincts in other ways, but nothing leaves him as satisfied and content as hand-feeding his most beloved, who has been criminally deprived of most comforts in his life, much less anything approaching luxury. And of course Alec will hand-feed Magnus in return, leaving him feeling cherished and adored too. To have all that, and have it in their nest... Magnus can't imagine what could be better than this.

And while he's still picturing it, warm anticipation welling up in his chest, a thought shoots through him: his own people didn't want him to have it.

"Magnus?" Eyes widening, Alec quickly flops down so he's face to face with him and perfectly positioned to draw him into his arms. "What's wrong? We don't have to have antipasti if you don't want to. Is it too much of a fuss right now? That's fine, we can have pizza instead. If you don't want to you won't even have to move, you can just lie there and I'll cut it into little pieces and I'll feed them to you, how does that sound?"

"It s-sounds wonderful," Magnus warbles, buries his face in Alec's neck. "I'm j-just. It's not. I want to do the antipasti, please."

"Then we'll do the antipasti, love," Alec immediately agrees, one broad hand rubbing up and down Magnus' back. Magnus shudders, which Alec takes as his cue to start talking. "And if you want we can watch some documentaries? While we eat or after. I found some really nice ones. There's one that's three episodes all about plants, I know that probably sounds boring but it has really stunning cinematography and it's absolutely fascinating. I accidentally watched the entire first episode - I just meant to check it out to see if it'd be nice, and suddenly the episode was over and I almost clicked right on the next. But I wanted to watch it with you. Or we could watch another documentary about the evolution of the written word, it's three episodes as well and sounds really interesting. I also found a couple of home renovation videos we could watch instead? Or we could just turn on some music, or that ocean sounds app, and you could let me give you a massage."

Slowly, Magnus settles, soothed by the sound of not just his boyfriend's voice (though that's the primary purpose of why Alec suddenly talks so much), but by the things he says - the level of care and thought exposed in his words. How much effort, thought and energy his boyfriend invested just for Magnus. Alec clearly did research and made lists of things to watch that are low-key, enjoyable, interesting and not in any way stressful or upsetting, all to have it ready for Magnus when he got back. Is that, he wonders, what he would have found if he'd gone into the living room instead after his meal?

"I love you," Magnus states quietly. "More than words can say. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm grateful every day that I have you in my life."

"Oh." Alec's hand stills on Magnus' back, then slides up to settle between Magnus' shoulder blades. "Me too. I love you too, I mean, and I'm really thankful too."

Alec does not ask. He won't, either, not right now - he's already asked once, and he won't again, not while still in the moment. Later, after a night's sleep and when he feels like the timing is better, if Magnus hasn't brought it up himself yet, then he will, but not a moment sooner. Things like timing and patience didn't come naturally to Alec, especially not when someone important to him is struggling with something; he just wants to make it better. But he learned that while his intentions are pure, sometimes the most helpful thing he can do is to just be there. To not ask, not push, not try to fix everything right then and there. It didn't come naturally and it did not come easily to him, but Alec wants to be good for Magnus, and so he made the effort to learn. To prioritize Magnus' needs over his own in moments like that.

Eyes falling shut, Magnus exhales. "I'm just really... disappointed that my own people wanted to punish me for having you in my life. Without even knowing a thing about you."

"Disappointed?" Alec repeats softly, barely a push.

Taking a deep breath, Magnus corrects. "...betrayed. I feel betrayed."

And then it all just comes spilling out of him. "I've given so much for them - yes I get compensation for my position, but that's just to make up for the loss in revenue because I have to take fewer clients, and it's not a real equivalence either. I could make a lot more if I took only paid clients. But it's not about that. It's the- the time I invest, every day. I have to always be available, no matter what. I can't just spontaneously decide to go away for a week, I have to plan it and make sure there will be somebody else available to take over for me while I'm gone.

"And I... I have to do so much, Alexander. So many different things. And I have to do them, I can't just decide I'm not feeling it right now. When I just take clients, I can decide not to do potions for a couple of years because I'm bored of it, or because my ingredients are running too low and it will take time to replenish my stores. Or I can decide to not take any clients for six months while I put all my efforts into researching something. As High Warlock, I can't do either of that.

"And... I always have to listen. People, all sorts of people come to me when they have issues - vampires with werewolves, werewolves with vampires, warlocks with whoever, anyone with shadowhunters. I have to be the face of the downworld and liaison with the shadowhunters. I have to mediate between factions and parties and people. All these politics, and I have to stay on top of it and keep everyone happy. When people need help they come to me. I need to be available, and I need to be visible, and... I am, Alexander. I do all that. I chose to do it because I want to help, because I know I can help, because I'm good and I know a lot and I have a lot of power, and what better way to use it than to help my people? But that doesn't mean it doesn't take effort, that it isn't tiring or hard sometimes." He pauses, breathes. Collects his thoughts.

"I don't... I don't expect adoration or any of that. In fact, that would really bother me. It does bother me. But I do expect acknowledgment of the efforts I make, the sacrifices and the energy and the work I do. I do expect respect. At least the same respect that is afforded to anybody else. But what they did to me... there is none of that there. They treated me like I owe them something, like they own me, like they have a right to have an opinion on my private life and like I've wronged them with my private choices.

"And they didn't even afford me the courtesy of coming to me with their doubts or concerns and asking me about it. Instead they just banded together behind my back and went to the Spiral Labyrinth to complain about me, so I'll be called in and forced to defend my private choices in front of all of them, all without any sort of warning."

He exhales. "I feel like... I deserve better than that. I mean. What, like I haven't been wronged and mistreated by shadowhunters in the past? Like I haven't lost people that were precious to me? Shouldn't that alone have been enough reason to give them pause and think, if I, with all the history between me and the shadowhunters, would break bread with you, would share my bed with you, then that must mean you're not one of the bad ones? If someone isn't willing to believe that things with shadowhunters have generally improved a lot over the past decades, fine, I can't make them. But that doesn't mean they can just decide, without any evidence whatsoever, that you're... that you're..."

Jaw clenched, Magnus shakes his head. The slander against Alec was horrible to listen to, and he doesn't think it's right to wholesale condemn all shadowhunters forever, but at the same time he can't really blame someone for doing it. There is a lot of bad history and a couple of better decades don't make up for that, particularly not when things still aren't good, and when Valentine happened in that time.

But still. "I don't think it's too much to ask to expect my people to have enough faith, enough trust in me to know that I'm not giving away downworlder secrets as pillow talk. That I'm not just led by my dick and taken in by a pretty face. Even if they're not willing to extend any trust towards you, not even in light of the fact that I trust you, they should still trust me. Or am I wrong? Is that too much to ask?"

Alec inhales, exhales. Considers. The pause as he thinks lets Magnus gather his bearings a little, and that Alec takes the time to think about it at all instead of just answering straight away in well-intentioned, but blind support is one of the reasons why he trusts Alec as much as he does.

Eventually, Alec presses his lips into Magnus' hair and replies. "I don't think it is, Magnus. I think you've proven hundreds of times over how dedicated you are to your people. I think you absolutely deserve basic consideration and respect; you would even if you weren't the High Warlock. And I don't think it's right what was done to you. It wasn't fair, and you deserve better. It was a betrayal."

He pauses, then continues, quieter, "I don't think it's my place to have any opinions about whether they are right to be upset about you being with me, but I don't think that matters anyway, because either way the way they went about handling their concerns wasn't okay. I mean - as a leader, sometimes people aren't going to be happy with you. That's just how it is. The more people you represent, the higher the chance that any time you do something, somebody isn't going to like it. But there are ways to handle that, proper channels, right? I've seen it before, when Raphael came to you as leader of his clan to address an issue a clan member of his had with something you did."

"Yeah." Magnus clears his throat, swallows past the roughness in it. "There are proper channels, yes. Every group of people has somebody they can go to who will then come to me with a complaint. Going to the Spiral Labyrinth actually is a proper channel, it's an option people have, but it's supposed to be a last resort. When all else failed. But that was the first I heard of it."

"Then clearly somebody fucked up," Alec states. "Do you have options to address something like that?"

That brings Magnus up short. "You know... I don't think so, actually? I mean I guess I could quit. Nobody's forcing me to do this."

"No, that's not okay," Alec declares, then falters. "I mean, if you want to quit then of course that's fine. It's your choice. I'll always support you and if you decide that's what you want and what's best for you, then I'm with you every step of the way. What I mean is, it's not okay that the only recourse you have against mistreatment is to quit." He exhales. "Do you want to talk about that? About what options there might be? If that's something you want to address?"

Immediately Magnus nods. "Yes, I do want to talk about that. I want to hear your thoughts, and I want to know, if you can tell me, how shadowhunters handle things like this. But..." He exhales. "Not right now. I'm... I'm tired, Alec. I don't want to be upset anymore, not right now. I'm, coming home to your notes, it was the sweetest, loveliest thing that ever happened to me, I haven't even thanked you yet, have I? Thank you." He pushes himself up so he can look Alec in the eyes as he says it, so he can kiss him on the lips afterward.

The kiss goes on for a bit longer than intended, and when they finally pull apart, there's warmth back in Magnus' chest that went away when he started spilling his guts. Forehead leaning against Alec's, he takes a moment to just breathe, to bask in the shared warmth, to remember how cared for and cherished and cocooned he'd felt earlier.

And oh, that's a good word. "When I came home," he murmurs, eyes closed, "I was feeling so drained. Just... sad and upset and betrayed. All I wanted was a hug from you, but I knew you couldn't be there yet, so I just felt... tiny, and a bit alone. But... then I saw the first note you left me, on the shower, and I just instantly felt a bit better. And then... all those things you did for me, all the notes, it felt like you were right there with me. Like your, your spirit was right there. Because you'd prepared all these things and made all this effort to take care of me, I could feel everything you wanted to give me even though you weren't physically present. I didn't feel alone anymore. I felt, I felt like I was in a safe cocoon made from your love and care for me, like I was protected and precious, and... Alexander, I can't recall when I last felt like that. I can't recall that I ever have felt like that, in all my life. And I just wanted to tell you that what you've done for me today, it will nourish me for the rest of my days. I can't even tell you how much it means to me. Saying 'thank you' feels painfully inadequate, but it's all I have: thank you. Alexander, my darling. My heart. Thank you. For your love, and your care, your thoughtfulness, your effort. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you."

A strangled noise escapes Alec's throat, and then he's wrapping both arms around Magnus and pulling him ever closer, holds him tight. Several minutes later he says, voice a bit choked, "Those were good words, though. I mean. I'm. I'm really happy I could make you feel better. I was... really upset I couldn't be there, so I thought I'd try to do the next best thing. And Catarina helped too, with the food preservation spells I mean. I just. Wanted to make you feel better."

"You did," Magnus sighs, nuzzles into Alec's cheek. "Oh, how you did, my love."

Alec shivers and holds Magnus just a bit tighter.

They do eventually get around to the antipasti, at which point Magnus learns that Alec interpreted the term a bit more generously than originally intended, adding not just Italian foods but a selection of various snack type foods from other countries as well that he knows Magnus likes. And they do feed each other - exclusively. Magnus doesn't put a single food item in his own mouth. Though instead of both sitting up and feeding each other at the same time, they take turns reclining in the pillows like aristocrats and letting the other feed them several bites in a row before switching over again. Turns out that's even better than doing both at once, because it means they can really bask in the respective feeling of taking care of and being taken care of without having to switch back and forth constantly.

"This," Alec sighs, a flush high on his cheeks when Magnus pulls back from kissing a drop of honey off his lips. When he blinks dark eyelashes open - he has such long, thick eyelashes; it would almost be unfair if it weren't so appropriately pretty for his beautiful eyes - his eyes are both dark and bright at once, settling unerringly on Magnus. "This was a great idea."

"Wasn't it just?" Magnus hums, pleased, and feeds him another cracker topped with pecorino cheese and drizzled with orange blossom honey. Then he licks his fingers, because all that honey just got them all sticky.

Alec's lips part, gaze fixated on Magnus' lips where they're wrapped around his fingers, suckling them clean. It's best to be thorough with things as sticky as honey.

Abruptly, Alec sits up. "My turn," he declares hoarsely.

"Hmm?" Innocently Magnus peers at him, fingers still in his mouth.

Eyes narrowing, Alec leans in a little to enunciate, "My turn to feed you something."

Their eyes meet. There's a pause.

They both burst into laughter.

"That was so bad!" Magnus cackles, arms slung loosely over Alec's shoulders where they're leaning against each other to hold each other up as they giggle helplessly. "Terrible! Just awful! I love it!"

"Nooooo," Alec groans, face buried in Magnus' neck. Magnus can feel the heat of his blush and it's the cutest thing. "Please, can't we forget this ever happened?"

"No way," Magnus instantly protests, tightening his hold so his arms are wrapped properly around Alec's neck. "I don't want to forget any single thing about today, not anything."

Alec makes a sound a bit like a dying seal, but his arms wrapped around Magnus' chest tighten as well, and he says nothing else.