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A Thief in the Boiling Isles

Summary:

This caper was supposed to be easy. That’s the only thought in Carmen’s mind as she ducks under the chair flying at her. It all seemed so straight-forward in Player’s briefing: sneak in, sabotage Dr. Bellum’s invention, sneak out. It wasn’t supposed to get so complicated, and Coach Brunt was not supposed to be there.

Everything is completely under control.

Until the portal opens.

Notes:

wowzers !!! this was initially just supposed to be a small little thing i write for fun but it got out of hand!!!!! you'd think i'd learn by now but i guess not

Anyway here's a silly little crossover between my current two favorite shows/obsessions, where everyone is friends and nothing is sad (until it is). it's not fully mapped out, it doesn't have a schedule, it might never have an ending!!!! It's just a fun little thing that i'm writing while i take a small hiatus from writing. go figure.

Beta'd by Jackie! go check them out i promise you won't regret it

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The Door

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

This caper was supposed to be easy. That’s the only thought in Carmen’s mind as she ducks under the chair flying at her. It all seemed so straight-forward in Player’s briefing: sneak in, sabotage Dr. Bellum’s invention, sneak out. It wasn’t supposed to get so complicated, and Coach Brunt was not supposed to be there. Nevertheless, it did, and she was, and now Carmen is dodging flying chairs in the middle of one of Dr. Bellum’s research facilities. No big deal, though, Zack is ready with her getaway, and Shadowsan and Ivy are on their way to help.

Everything is completely under control.

The sound of rending steel puts an end to that train of thought, apparently the thick metal pipes that Carmen chose as cover weren’t as important as she expected and did little to stop Coach Brunt from tearing them clean off their rivets. Before she can react, a massive hand finds grip on her collar, and Carmen is lifted high off the ground.

“Carmen Sandiego,” a familiar voice booms over the facility’s PA system, “I must thank you for volunteering to test my latest invention.”

“Volunteering? Is that what you call this?” Carmen struggles to form a sentence past the hand on her neck. If she was going to die today, she’d at least have the last word.

“Your noble sacrifice will be remembered as the first step towards the next generation of crime!” Dr. Bellum continues over the loudspeakers. “That is, of course, if it works.”

Coach Brunt chuckles low and grim. “You’d better hope it works, lambkins. No tellin’ what could go wrong.”

Player was understandably quiet throughout the fight. He knows the drill: don’t distract her unless it’s important. The fact that he still hasn’t said anything means that neither Ivy nor Shadowsan are close enough to help yet – maybe still a few more minutes. She might not have that long. Still, it can’t be easy for him to listen to the sounds of Carmen struggling mixed with Coach Brunt’s voice so close. She needs to give him a sign – anything – to let him know she still has the situation under control, but it’s hard to form a sentence when you can barely breathe at all. “And when I destroy your little toy,” she squeaks, “how far will it set you back?”

That didn’t come out right – maybe because she squeaked – but Dr. Bellum and Coach Brunt only laugh.

“Brave as always, Black Sheep, but you have run out of time. We are about to make great discoveries today.”

The sounds of machines whirring and fluids pumping kick in; whatever Dr. Bellum was making, it’s active now. Spotlights click on with the characteristic V.I.L.E. drama, and Carmen can finally what she was after this whole time. In the center of the room stands a single ornate wooden door, with a large golden eye in the center of it. It’s uncharacteristically rustic for V.I.L.E. and stands out dramatically against the various beams and pipes connected to it. Without warning, the door swings open, and Carmen can’t help but stare at what’s on the other side.

It’s… nothing, but it’s more than nothing. Rather than the metal wall she was expecting to see, the other side of the door seems to be a dense void, both empty and full at the same time. It’s mesmerizing, but now isn’t the time to appreciate it, not while she’s still suspended from the neck by a massive Texan arm. As Coach Brunt carries her towards the door, the void on the other side seems to focus, now showing what appears to be a forest, rather than a void. Improvements – minor, but improvements regardless. At least she won’t be thrown into a void now. However she is about to be thrown somewhere if she can’t break free from Coach Brunt’s grip.

Player,” Carmen croaks. That’s about all she can manage at this point. Nothing is working, none of the kicking and clawing has any effect on her former Coach. Next thing she knows, Carmen is weightless, flying through an impossible door and landing somewhere she definitely shouldn’t be. At least she’s free now – she can breathe, and more importantly she can escape. She scrambles to her feet, expecting another fight, but to her surprise Coach Brunt stays on the other side of the impossible door, looking just as amazed as she feels. Dr. Bellum joins the coach by the door and has a very excited, but unintelligible conversation. Whatever, Carmen has work to do.

Red! What just happened?”

“I’m not sure, Player. Brunt threw me through the door, I’m in some sort of forest. Where in the world am I?”

“I – not sure. The tracker – still in – lab.”

“Are you saying I didn’t actually move?”

“– connection – spotty, I can’t – you.”

Only now does Carmen notice the static that’s overtaking her best friend’s voice. Clearly, wherever she is now doesn’t have great reception. I need to get back through that door, she thinks, calculating her route. It’s at this point that Dr. Bellum seems to remember that Carmen is still there, only standing a few feet away on the other side of the door. Before either of them can say anything witty, the door slams shut, seemingly on its own. Carmen rushes to open it again, but it’s engulfed with a blinding yellow light. When the light fades, the door is gone, and Carmen is alone in an unknown forest.

“Player, the door’s gone. Did you manage to track my location yet?”

Only silence comes from her earpiece.

“Player?”

Nothing.

 

Great.

 

It’s at this point Carmen takes the time to fully observe her surroundings – after all, it’s step one of the wilderness survival training she took as a kid on VILE Island. It seems like it’ll finally come in handy. She is in a forest – Carmen was right about that much – but it’s a forest completely unlike anything she’s ever seen. For starters, both the leaves and the grass are red, which wouldn’t be so unusual if it wasn’t the middle of June. The trees are tall and narrow like a pine tree, so… Northern Hemisphere is her best guess. Specifically where in the world she is doesn’t matter for much other than her own curiosity since it’s only a matter of time before Player finds her, but Carmen would never turn down an opportunity to experience a new location. The sun is high and bright above her head, but the weather is cool and autumnal. Given that it was dusk in Bangladesh and roughly noon now, that places her somewhere in Europe, possibly Scandinavia. That makes sense, given the weather.

Dr. Bellum made a portal to Norway. Incredible.

Notes:

holy shit non-script writing is hard