Work Text:
“Is this their idea of a joke?” You Huo frowns and stares at the key he received from the lady behind the reception desk.
“I don’t know, but it’s pretty funny.” Qin Jiu hugs him from behind and hooks his chin over You Huo’s shoulder to look at the key to apartment A on floor 001.
-
A week ago in the military training facility, Chu Yue knocked against the door to their shared room just as they had returned from another training session with the recruits. You Huo, slightly miffed at having his very important nightly plans (involving him, Qin Jiu, and the bathtub that was just the right size for sharing) interrupted, opened the door as he rebuttoned his shirt that Qin Jiu had so meticulously undone.
“Is something the matter?” he asked her a little gruffly.
“Indeed!” 922 came into view as he leaned sideways from where he stood next to the door.
“We have a surprise for you and the other great master,” announced Gao Qi from the other side, glaring at You Huo’s now-closed buttons like he was trying to get rid of a certain mental image.
“Oh? A surprise?” Qin Jiu appeared next to You Huo and slung an arm around his waist. Of course this great master’s shirt was still gaping open, which made Gao Qi choke and rapidly look away.
Chu Yue, completely unbothered, pushed past them and waved around a stack of papers. “We bought you something. Thought you might like it.”
922 followed her inside and fiddled with the tablet he was never seen without these days. The screen lit up and displayed a familiar face as he held it up.
“It was 154’s idea, actually.”
154’s nodded a greeting. 922 was currently working together with several oversea companies in order to develop a working body for everyone’s favourite rejected program, and there had already been several failed attempts. He didn’t give up though, no matter how often 154 said he didn’t actually need a body. (Once, 922 had frustratedly blurted out “Well, what if I need you to have a body? You haven’t kissed me in 314 days!”, effectively shutting 154 up and making Gao Qi choke.) Right now though, he still had to make do with being on a permanent video call.
“I merely thought the two of you would deserve a break.”
“And you thought completely right!” Chu Yue slapped her papers against You Huo’s chest.
“Break?” You Huo echoed suspiciously, but before he could have a look at the papers, Qin Jiu had already snatched them away. He skimmed over them and his eyes widened.
“You bought us an apartment?” It wasn’t easy to get any kind of surprised reaction out of Qin Jiu, but right now he sounded positively baffled. He even needed an entire second to catch himself. “Starting on a pretty high bar I see. Then what are you going to get us when we marry, an island?”
Gao Qi choked again, but Chu Yue chuckled. “What do you need an island for, wasn’t that one history examination centre back then enough?”
“It’s just a small apartment, nothing special,” 154 informed them from the screen. “I analysed several buildings and found that this was the most normal one in every aspect.”
“And R-City is very, very boring,” 922 added. “It has the lowest crime rate in the country and there have never been any natural and or man-made disasters.”
“So what you’re saying is…” You Huo snatched the papers back from Qin Jiu.
“What we’re saying is that we organised you an adventure trip, and that the adventure is mundanity!” Chu Yue merrily clapped her hands. “And we already applied leave for you. You’re going to spend an entire week like ordinary people with an ordinary life. Isn’t that exciting?”
Gao Qi sighed wistfully. “I wanted them to install a camera, but they said that would kind of betray the purpose of this whole thing.”
“But please check in often and let us know how you’re doing!
“And make sure to send pictures of whatever you cooked!”
“This is stupid,” You Huo said at the same time Qin Jiu said “This is wonderful!” They looked at each other defiantly, and then Qin Jiu leaned over and whispered into his ear “But imagine the things that can be done in an apartment where there is no one to disturb us.” He nipped at You Huo’s earlobe, ignoring the indignant gasp that came from Gao Qi.
“…alright. We take this break,” You Huo said. Being society’s definition of normal did sound somewhat enticing.
-
The small two-room apartment on the first floor of the building is very different from everything You Huo is used to. On the comfort level, it doesn’t even come close to his former residence in the invigilator’s district. It is a lot more luxurious than the small flat he shares with Qin Jiu in the military base, though. On the normalcy level, it definitely delivers. It looks exactly like those living spaces he saw in that one Chinese exam that was set in a small town.
“Not bad. Not bad at all,” says Qin Jiu’s from the bathroom. “The shower comes with several settings. And looks like we have a bidet.”
You Huo makes an approving noise while he examines a kitchen he has no idea how to operate. He was never required to cook for himself and hopes very much for Qin Jiu to secretly be a master chef. But first they’ll need ingredients anyway, because the fridge and various cupboards are glaringly empty. You Huo is looking at the large kitchen table when suddenly two arms cage him and a warm chest presses against his back.
“What do you say, Big Invigilator?” Qin Jiu asks and lightly kisses the shell of You Huo’s ear. You Huo can’t help the small shiver that runs through him and that elicits a delighted chuckle from Qin Jiu.
“What do I say to what?” You Huo leans forward against the table and spreads his legs a little more, generously make room for Qin Jiu.
“I suddenly forgot.” Qin Jiu follows You Huo’s movement, pushing him onto the table as he bends over him and kisses his neck. His hands trail down You Huo’s sides and catch at the waistband of his jeans.
“You do that a lot. Forgetting.” You Huo intends for it to come out as a quip, but the way Qin Jiu is pressed up against him turns the words into a breathy moan. He reaches back and fists his hand in Qin Jiu’s hair, pulling him further down so he can kiss him properly. The angle is a bit awkward, but it doesn’t matter as long as he can get a taste of those delicious lips. They make him forget as well: that the table’s edge is digging uncomfortably into his hips, and the fact that the first thing they’re going to do in this oh-so-normal apartment is use the kitchen table for improper means.
“I only forget unimportant things,” Qin Jiu hums and finally slips slender fingers under You Huo’s shirt, rucking it up as they wander up his torso. “Don’t worry, Big Invigilator, I still remember exactly what you like.” He bites the soft skin of You Huo’s throat and then soothes the sting with gentle licks of his tongue. You Huo pushes back against him, urging him to get on with it and Qin Jiu, ever accommodating, obeys Invigilator A’s command.
After the kitchen table, they also misuse the wall next to the coatrack, the living room carpet, and the shower. And thus, the first day of their normal life comes to an end.
“I’m hungry,” You Huo says when they lie in bed and Qin Jiu combs gentle fingers through his hair.
“I hear in that case normal people do a thing called cooking,” Qin Jiu replies, earning him a jab in the side.
“Then cook me something.”
Qin Jiu hums. “What would you like? I make pretty good instant noodles.”
You Huo supresses a groan and buries his face in Qin Jiu’s chest. “So you can’t cook.”
“Can you, Big Invigilator?”
For that, You Huo bites him. Qin Jiu retaliates by flipping them over and looming above him. In the end, the bed is being made good use of as well.
-
In hindsight, they should have probably gotten different clothes. In hindsight, they should have done many things differently. But as it is, they’re standing in the vegetable section of the supermarket dressed in clothes not necessarily befit of civilians. Qin Jiu is wearing the long black coat over his uniform which, together with his impressive height, makes people look at him in the same way examinees used to look at Invigilator 001: with complete and utter fear, that is. Meanwhile You Huo is wearing slacks together with one of the many dark shirts the military base issued him, which probably wouldn’t be too bad, were there not his title printed on the back that identified him as Military Team Chief Instructor A.
“The recipe says bok choy,” Chief Instructor A informs Invigilator 001.
“There are three different kinds, which one is it?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
They look at each other and between them, a silent conversation happens. Qin Jiu glances at his phone: How about we ask 922 for help, he loves cooking. You Huo raises his eyebrow and purses his lips: 922 is going to tell Chu Yue, and Chu Yue is never going to let us live it down. Qin Jiu sighs regretfully: True.
“Excuse me?” an old lady with a rollator says and tugs at Qin Jiu’s sleeve. “You’re blocking the broccoli.”
“My apologies.” Qin Jiu bows and steps to the side. “Madam, my boyfriend and I are in dire straits, suppose you made a simple stir-fry, which kind of bok choy would you use?”
You Huo rolls his eyes – this kind of wording was more suitable for a certain duke’s manor. The old lady seems to think something similar and regards Qin Jiu with a suspicious look. Then her gaze shifts to You Huo and she raises an eyebrow.
“You two are so old already and don’t even know that?”
“We’ve been a bit detached from reality lately,” Qin Jiu explains and the old lady hums knowingly.
“You are two of those…those cosplayers, right? My granddaughter told me of it. You should look for a proper job instead of wasting your time like that!”
You Huo wonders how a frail old lady is able to sound more obnoxious than an omnipresent and bloodthirsty system.
“Well, if you’re making stir-fry just take the baby bok choy. It’ll retain the best texture,” the old lady finally says after giving them another stern look. Then she clicks her tongue, snatches some broccoli, and rattles off. Qin Jiu suddenly slaps his palm with his fist as if he remembered something important.
“You know who she reminds me of?”
“Yes,” You Huo says dryly. He just had the exact same thought. “Puppet lady,” they say in unison and grin at each other. Qin Jiu throws Shanghai bok choy into the cart out of spite, and they venture forth in search of sugar snap peas.
Eventually they do make it to the checkout with all the required ingredients. When the cashier announces the total, You Huo and Qin Jiu exchange a startled look before remembering that they’re not required to pay with their hard-earned points. Instead, they take the money that was graciously granted by Chu Yue (“An early pension,” she said) and leave the store with some sense of accomplishment.
As they make their way back to the apartment, Qin Jiu takes You Huo’s hand and laces their fingers together. You Huo glances up at him, finding the other looking straight ahead with a small smile on his lips.
I could get used to this, You Huo suddenly thinks. Just me and him and nothing to worry about. Of course that isn’t true, and never will be. They spent too much time away from normalcy to fit in anymore, and You Huo likes their life as it is. Surrounded by those important to him, even if they have horrible gift ideas. But for a brief moment inside this mundane world, he entertains the thought of being normal.
The city doesn’t look all that different from the city-themed exam centres of the system. The same high skyscrapers, the same wide roads, the same blinking lights. But it feels different. There is a certain hum in the air that was completely absent in the system. It takes a while for You Huo to identify it as the low white noise of humanity. Conversation snippets float through the air, laughter or shouts sound every now and then, and people brush against You Huo as they pass by.
“I’ve been thinking,” Qin Jiu says suddenly. “How about we just stay here? Or we don’t, and travel the world? Who’s able to stop us?”
You Huo snorts and bumps against Qin Jiu’s shoulder. “Sometimes I think you can read my thoughts.”
Qin Jiu grins at him. “Special leftover superpower from the system. So, what do you say?”
“Why don’t you read the answer in my thoughts?”
You Huo looks up at him, maintaining contact with those dark, warm eyes. This time, Qin Jiu is the one to look away first. He tips his head back towards the sky and lets out a soft sight.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But it’s an intriguing thought, right? I’m gonna miss that large kitchen table.”
“Ask Gao Qi to buy us one.”
“Only if you tell him what we need it for.”
“…deal.”
-
【The train to Harbin is leaving platform 5. Please step away from the doors】announces the speaker of the train station. Unfortunately, the two figures rushing down platform 5 are suffering from a certain syndrome where each time a disembodied voice tells them to do something, they automatically want to do the opposite.
“This is on you,” You Hou says, barely out of breath. “You distracted me in the shower again.”
“Well, then it’s clearly on you! You let yourself get distracted. You need to work on your self-control, Big Invigilator,” Qin Jiu shoots back. He pushes his arm between the closing doors and a red light blinks above their heads, indicating a rule violation. Qin Jiu flips it off.
【Please step away from the doors】the voice commands again.
Neither of them pays it any attention as they glare at each other.
“Well, maybe I will work on my self-control then. See who’s going to indulge you next time,” You Huo says haughtily, and Qin Jiu flinches exaggeratedly. “You wouldn’t!”
“Sirs, I must ask you to please get inside the train or leave. We’re now already delayed because of you.” a train worker says sternly.
“Fine, fine!” Qin Jiu says and bows towards the Big Invigilator. “It’s my fault, I apologise.”
The ignored worker stares as the two men enter the train and allow the door to close behind them.
“All is well that ends well, right? We made it in time, so what’s the problem?” Qin Jiu asks and follows You Huo down the aisle of seats.
Infuriating man! You Huo thinks. As soon as they sit, Qin Jiu shifts closer and slings his arm around You Huo’s waist while pillowing his head on his chest. Infuriating, wonderful man. You Huo rests his cheek atop Qin Jiu’s hair and closes his eyes as the train slowly picks up speed.
When he wakes up again, it’s because the disembodied voice lets them know that they’ve almost reached Harbin. He pokes Qin Jiu’s cheek.
“001, we’ve reached the examination centre,” he says.
Qin Jiu hums sleepily and nuzzles You Huo’s neck like an oversized panther. “Then let’s make sure we greet our examinee properly.”
Yu Wen is in an intense discussion with two of his classmates when he leaves the lecture hall. The exam season draws closer, but somehow he’s not even slightly nervous. After all, these exams are of the non-life-threatening kind. The lecture hall door opens and his two classmates stop dead in their tracks. When Yu Wen glances up to see what has them so stunned, his eyes almost fall out of their sockets.
Two men stand in the corridor, clad in dark uniforms and with an unmistakable air of authority about them. One arrogantly smirks down at Yu Wen while the other regards him with icy-cold eyes.
“Examinee Yu Wen, you have violated the rules and will be brought to the confinement room,” says the taller one. The entire corridor is silent. Everyone stares at the scene that looks like it’s straight out of a thriller movie.
Yu Wen feels like this is a trial by fire. If he now reacts properly, he will finally prove that he’s not the little boy from back then anymore. He squares his shoulders and steps towards the men.
“Alright. I’ll come with you.”
All eyes follow them as the two threatening-looking men take the poor student away.
Outside the lecture building, Qin Jiu ruffles Yu Wen’s hair. “That was almost convincing, little bro. Your acting skills have improved.”
“Brother! Brother Qin! What are you two doing here?” All coolness vanishes when Yu Wen hugs his two favourite brothers. “I thought you were in that training camp!”
“Took leave,” You Huo replies and looks down at his little brother. Yu Wen didn’t change at all – he still wore that overenthusiastic smile that not even the system managed to take from him. If anything, that smile had only grown in its intensity. His studies are still abysmal, of course, but he’s managing – mostly thanks to a certain top student who regularly gives him private online “lessons”.
“How are things with the boyfriend?” Qin Jiu asks, yet again proving that his has full-time access to You Huo’s thoughts.
As expected, Yu Wen splutters. “Boyfriend? Which boyfriend? I don’t have a boyfriend? Why would you think that? B-boyfriend, please. I mean…who do you even mean?”
Qin Jiu raises his hands in mock defeat. “Alright, alright. Just so you know, it’s fine if you need a while to court him. It took your brother and I three different life circles.”
Yu Wen’s phone picks this moment to announce a message, and its owner immediately scrambles to read it. His eyes light up and he smiles at the screen as he types a response. Qin Jiu clears his throat and smirks down at the little fool in love.
“Please don’t say anything,” Yu Wen mutters, his ears flaming red. Qin Jiu slings an arm around the boy’s shoulders and starts giving him the absolute worst courting advice.
As You Huo watches his brother and his boyfriend laugh with each other, a strange warmth fills his chest.
If you had the chance to turn back time and change the past, would you do it?
You Huo thinks of all the cruelties and violence of the system. Thinks of what they went through and what they lost. Then he thinks of what he gained. What so many of them gained. Friends, family, lovers. The only thing that is left over from the system in the end is this warmth. You Huo would never change any of it. It might be selfish, but he doesn’t want to imagine his life without Qin Jiu.
“Come on, Big Invigilator! The future professor wants to eat something.” Qin Jiu reaches out his hand and wiggles his fingers. “And I do as well. Yu Wen, did you know your brother can’t even distinguish between baby bok choy from Shanghai bok choy?”
You Huo fondly shakes his head and takes Qin Jiu’s hand.
-
“But this is our last day,” Qin Jiu grumbles and glares out at the rain that falls in thick sheets behind the window. “I had it all planned out so well.”
“Obviously not, otherwise you’d have watched the forecast.” You Huo steps up behind him and hugs his boyfriend around the waist. Qin Jiu immediately leans into the touch and turns his head to kiss You Huo’s temple.
“Ask me what I planned.”
“What did the great Invigilator 001 plan for our last day in the normal world?”
“I was going to take you on one of those horrible dates. First we’d have brunch in the park and shove our happy relationship in the face of all those people who just want to take a peaceful walk outside. Then we’d go to the aquarium and kiss in front of the shark tank. Then I’d take you on a Ferris wheel ride and kiss you when we reach the highest spot. And finally we’d have dinner in a noble restaurant and eventually get kicked out for improper behaviour.”
“So your plans are basically just excuses to make out in public?”
“Isn’t that romantic?” Qin Jiu sighs wistfully and suddenly grabs You Huo’s wrist, whirling him around and pressing him against the tall windows. “And now I gotta make out with you in the confines of this room.” He leans forward and kisses the tip of You Huo’s nose.
You Huo huffs and flicks Qin Jiu’s forehead. “Don’t worry, I have plans, too.”
There are empty takeout containers on the table and some horribly cheesy drama flickers muted across the TV screen. The two people on the sofa pay it no attention as their sole focus is each other. You Huo lies on top of Qin Jiu and shows his boyfriend that making out inside of their apartment can actually be pretty nice, too. That boyfriend is thoroughly convinced, if his moans are any indication. You Huo places his palms on Qin Jiu’s chest and pushes himself up.
“Well?”
Qin Jiu looks up at him. His lips are swollen and spit shiny, his hair is mussed, and he has a hazy look in his eyes. All he manages is a content hum. You Huo can’t resist that vision for long and leans back in. They don’t do anything else than kiss for an absolutely ridiculous amount of time. After that, they both fall asleep on the couch, You Huo atop Qin Jiu, and it’s mildly uncomfortable and they’re going to regret it when they wake up, but for now it’s exactly what they need.
“Qin Jiu,” You Huo mumbles as his eyes slip shut.
“Hmm.”
“I really love you.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
“…”
“I really love you, too.”
Epilogue
“So this is where all our funding goes,” You Huo says and looks up at the red velvet banner with golden lettering that hangs over the sign which usually announces “Military Training Camp”.
“A very good way to use the resources,” Qin Jiu nods.
Welcome back Invigilator 001 and Invigilator A, the banner proclaims. There are hearts around the two invigilators, so this is definitely not Gao Qi’s doing.
Chu Yue steps closer and places a hand on their shoulders. “We just missed you two so much, ah. Do you know how boring it is without anyone setting fire to the training course, or showing off to the cadets, or making Gao Qi choke from too much PDA?”
“Hey!”
“How was your vacation?” 154 asks from his screen.
“Very relaxing,” You Huo says at the same time Qin Jiu says “Full of PDA.”
“Sounds like a success on every level then,” 922 smiles and gives 154 a look that says very obviously If you weren’t behind a screen there would be even more PDA. Gao Qi squints at them suspiciously.
“I couldn’t help but notice the lack of cooking photos I clearly asked for,” Chu Yue says and narrows her eyes. “Could it be that the two most skilled people in this camp have no idea how to cook?”
You Huo and Qin Jiu exchange a look.
“Examinee Qin Jiu is not only an expert in setting fire to examination centres, but to food as well,” says You Huo.
“Examinee You Huo is very good at fighting octopi and very bad at cooking them,” says Qin Jiu.
They glare at each other.
922 laughs a bit awkwardly and waves his hands (and thus 154) around. “Alright, alright, nobody is perfect! I already suspected something like this, so I prepared a little feast for you! Come on, come on, let’s catch up properly! We want a detailed report on how you handled normal life.”
As they make their way to the mess hall, You Huo falls into step next to Gao Qi.
“Qin Jiu and I require a larger table.”