Archive of Our Own

Since he was a small boy Sylvain Gautier has been making wishes every day in every way he can.

He wished his friends health and happiness.

He wished for easy classes in school.

He wished his parents left him alone.

He wished his brother went away.

As an adult he still wishes every day but it has gained a singular focus.

"Happy Birthday Sylvain!" The room cheers as he hoots with them and blows the candles out on his cake, taking a quick glance to his side and catching Felix looking at him with a small smile.

I wish to stay by Felix's side.

⁂

Annette somehow had convinced everyone to go camping in the middle of winter so she could watch a meteor shower at an ungodly hour.

"You can see the sky so much clearer here, look!" She exclaimed as a yellow streak crossed the sky slower than Sylvain thought it would. The hours that followed were filled with shooting stars and friends making idle chatter while receiving minor frostbite.

As the last of them were turning into their tents the night Sylvain was still watching the meteors lazily cross the sky.

"Do you find this fun?" Felix groused from beneath his several hoodies and a blanket. Sylvain looked at him and smiled.

"You didn't have to stay up on my account Fe." To that Felix scoffed and stood. Sylvain felt a twinge of regret already missing Felix's company.

"What if I wanted to?" Felix replied defiantly. Sylvain chuckled sadly and turned his eyes skyward again.

I wish Felix wanted to stay with me the same way I want to with him.

⁂

Sylvain finds himself sitting at a park bench with a spent dandelion pinched delicately between his fingers. This one has a completely intact seed head, not one tuft missing.

It took him a while to find it. Just as Sylvain is breathing in…

"Have something you are wishing for?" Felix says from behind him and Sylvain chokes on his breath. Felix whacks him on the back as Sylvain coughs a few times.

"Way to surprise me bud." Sylvain is still trying to clear the phlegm caught in his airways.

"Be more aware of your surroundings." After making sure Sylvain wasn't going to die Felix comes around the bench and somehow both gracefully and forcefully plops down next to Sylvain. He notices the dandelion still held in Sylvain's fingers.

"What are you wishing for?" There is a mix of curiosity and annoyance on Felix's face. Sylvain already knows Felix has drawn the conclusion that he's wishing for some girl so he plays in.

"If I tell you it won't come true." The smirk feels forced but the pinched brows and pout on his best friend's face tell him he's hit his mark. But before he can react Felix swipes the flower from him.

"Hey!"

"Idiot." Felix holds the seed head up to his face and looks at it for a moment before taking a breath and perfecting scattering all of the seeds to the wind.

Sylvain would have given anything to know what Felix had wished for.

⁂

Loose change wasn't terribly common anymore but Sylvain picks up every coin he finds and promptly casts it into the next water fountain he comes across.

Today's was outside his work. He was seeing Felix for lunch.

I wish this was a real date.

⁂

Different cultures have different ways of making wishes and once again Annette had amassed a group of friends to go to the local Japanese culture festival.

"I want to try the taiyaki, and the dango, and the castella!"

"I'm sure we will be able to try it all Annie." Mercedes assured the little firecracker before she vibrated out of her skin.

Felix was also quite taken with the festival for someone who didn't like crowds, and even for Sylvain the crowds were intense.

"See anything you like Fe?" He received a silent nod as Felix weaved his way toward the bullet train models and demo area. That was the beginning of the end of their group sticking together for the next few hours as Sylvain followed Felix from tent to tent. Trying out different foods, reading informational pamphlets, and looking at different knick knacks to buy.

"Want to go there some time?" Sylvain asked, unable to keep some raw hopefulness out of his voice.

Felix looked awed by the question at first but quickly turned away and started heading back to where the group said they were going to reconvene.

Defeated, Sylvain wandered back to the stand that he saw earlier. It had a fake tree with multiple colored ribbons tied to it. The attendant said it wasn't the right time of year, but there was a festival called Tanabata were people would write wishes on strips of paper and tie them to bamboo.

Sylvain accepted a small slip of paper and wrote his wish down and tied it to the fake tree in the stall.

I wish Felix took me seriously when I say I want to do things with him.

⁂

Prayer did not come easy to Sylvain. It came with a lot of familial baggage that was hard to separate from the basic concepts of a higher power that may or may not choose to grant favor to those who ask for it.

Today hadn't been an easy day though. His childhood wishes of his brother going away had come true in some of the worst ways and now all he felt was guilt.

So Sylvain was left alone in a pew, down on the kneeler. After everyone else had cleared out he snuck back in for some alone time. He tried and tried to think of something to pray for, something to wish for but his mind was blank. There was a thick grey fog hanging over all of his thoughts.

The creak of old wood knocked him out of his trance and Felix knelt next to him. Silent as the rest of the room, a quiet but solid presence. Slowly the fog cleared and Sylvain found himself unable to stop the tears that ran down his face.

Felix reached over and gently unclasped the hands Sylvain hadn't noticed had turned white he clenched them together so hard, once they were out of their vice grip he threw himself at Felix and couldn't stop the singular ugly sob that clawed itself out of Sylvain's chest and onto his best friend's shoulder.

The church then lapsed back into silence as Felix eased them into sitting on the pew and Sylvain took the time to calm himself. Felix gave him the space to breathe.

"I hated him."

"I used to wish he were dead."

"... Sometimes, I wonder if all my wishes as a kid had some kind of effect."

It took some time for Felix to respond, until then Felix had remained silent.

"Fool." He uttered with only his breath. "No simple wish could have lead to this."

"Do you not believe in the power of wishes?" He could see Felix's jaw tighten.

"I think you put too much stock in them." Sylvain hummed at that.

Sylvain felt completely wrung out but now at least felt like maybe he could leave this quiet—dead place. When Sylvain stood Felix stood with him and grabbed Sylvain's wrist.

"I'm not telling you that you should stop, but you should also do instead of just wishing for things Sylvain." At that Felix let go and they snuck back out of the closed church.

Before finally exiting Sylvain left a short prayer.

Give me the strength to tell Felix I love him.

⁂

Sylvain had a standing invitation to the Fraldarius family holiday party and it was always an interesting affair.

This year Glenn was introducing his new partner. Both Felix and Sylvain were surprised to me the mythical brother of Hilda they were pretty sure she had just made up.

"Good to finally meet you, Holst! Hilda talks about you all the time." Sylvain fully phased into 'I need to be presentable in front of people I don't know mode' while Felix hauled Glenn off to probably grill him and make sure Holst was 'good enough' for his big brother.

"Really!" The huge bubblegum pink man replied. He wasn't quite taller than Sylvain but he was wider by a mile. Sylvain couldn't wait for Rodrigue to get the new couple matching sweaters that made the size difference between them even more ridiculous.

"Sylvain! Felix! I need you two in the kitchen." Came the aforementioned father's melodic voice.

When both men meandered into the large cooking space Rodrigue stood before a carved turkey with the wishbone expertly extracted.

"Go at it boys." He then tossed the bone into the air. Felix and Sylvain, two men in their mid-twenties proceeded to scramble over it like kids trying to get the best starting holds. While the rest of the family laughed at the yearly tradition.

No one was allowed to start dishing out food till the bone was broken and Sylvain was on a three year winning streak. Once hand positions were agreed on the countdown started.

"3, 2, 1, go!" Yelled Glenn as Holst looked on in excited amusement.

Astonishingly though the bone snapped immediately, in Felix's favor. Glenn groaned.

"Well that was anticlimactic." He pouted before grabbing a plate and starting to pile it high with food.

"So it goes, everyone helps themselves!" Rodrigue then ushered a disappointed Sylvain and shell-shocked Felix through the serving line.

⁂

After dinner Felix was found in the driveway by his car, turning the pieces of bone over in his hands.

"Not sure what to wish for?" For once Sylvain seemed to take Felix by surprise.

"No, I just. It was kind of shit. Just breaking like that. I wanted a challenge. I don't like winning by default. I want to earn what I want."

Classic Felix. Couldn't take a win for what it was.

"Don't think too hard about it, you make your wish. Move on and we go at it next year and hope we don't get a dud bone. Right?"

"How many more years do we have though?"

"What do you mean?"

"At some point you'll find someone whose family will want to attend their gathering."

"Oh."

"And we won't do this anymore."

"Fe…"

"Shut-up, pretend I didn't say anything."

"No. You're right. We're growing old, and things change. I don't want this to change though." Sylvain looked back to the Faldarius family home. "I can't imagine going anywhere else. I don't want to. You all are the only family I've ever wanted."

"Family."

"Yea, I think of you all as family. I know it's presumptuous, I never asked if it was okay but I just."

"You think of me as family."

"Well." Sylvain wanted to fill in that he wanted Felix as more than family but if all he ever got was what he had now he'd be happy.

"What if my wish tonight…and every other wish I've made for the past ten years was for you to think of me as more than just family."

Sylvain's face shot up from where it had been idling at his feet. Felix's face was half frostbitten, half embarrassed.

"Is that true?" Sylvain couldn't stop himself from asking. He needed to make sure.

Felix held up the winning half of the wishbone.

"I wish Sylvain Jose Gautier loved me as much as I love him."

As as the words were leaving Felix's mouth the biggest, dumbest, and realist smile Sylvain ever had grace his face formed and it was really quite embarrassing as Felix snickered at the utter lovestruck look.

"Then I think we've been wishing for the same things." Sylvain opened his arms and Felix walked into them, nearly crushing Sylvain's ribs with the fierce hug he gave.

"Fool." Sylvain heard muffled into his coat

"Yes. I think we established this a long time ago." Peering up the last of the daylight had just about extinguished and the first stars were visible in the night sky. Sylvain gave an apology to any stars that might find themselves lonely now that he wouldn't be wishing on them every night but he would give them one last one.

"I wish for me and Felix to be together for the rest of our lives."